Two Man Team - Chapter 1
Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.
Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.
Rating: E
Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.
Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.
Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.
POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.
Total Word Count: 75k ish
Read on Ao3
CHAPTER 1: Somebody to Love
June 2005
Phil threw himself onto his bed and looked around at his neon green walls and carpet thinking how little time he had left in his childhood bedroom. He had one last summer in his hometown before uprooting his entire life and moving to York for uni. It was weird, in a way, to be in this sort of limbo where his basic education was over; he no longer felt like a child but didn’t feel like an adult either. It could be because he didn’t feel like he was fully himself, not to anyone he knew - not even his friends.
Could he really call them his friends if they didn’t know who he truly was, if he couldn’t share his attraction to boys like the others shared their crushes on girls and their flings? Maybe it wasn’t fair to think of them as near strangers, it was not their fault that he didn’t feel ready to talk about it. They had all been there for him his entire childhood and he still wasn’t ready. That was on him.
On the other hand, York presented him with a new opportunity, a chance to live his true life and finally get a boyfriend. That’s all he wanted, just - someone to cuddle with. Ok, also other stuff, but he wanted a proper boyfriend. It didn’t hurt to start looking now though.
Phil sat up and reached for his laptop, lifting the screen and connecting to the internet. He clicked on the Explorer icon and waited for everything to load for a few minutes. He logged into a random Yahoo chat room as per usual and greeted the 60 strangers chatting and sending emojis in the hopes of catching someone’s attention.
Snowdude: Hi. Anyone around 18? ;)
A private window popped up immediately.
DanTheMan: hi snowdude XD i’m dan
Snowdude: Hi. als?
DanTheMan: 16/m/reading. u?
Phil hesitated for a moment. It wasn’t often that dudes messaged him. Still, “Dan” was too young and still in school. Well, he didn’t have anything better to do than speak to him.
Snowdude: 18 m York. Are you in school?
DanTheMan: yeah just the A lvls to go. What’s ur favourrtie game?
Phil’s eyebrows shot up at the typo and he snorted.
Snowdude: Final Fantasy 7 is ace.
DanTheMan: ace XD favourite show?
Snowdude: Buffy obviously. What is this, an interview? What’s your favourite subject in school?
DanTheMan: ouch, geography and psych and theatre.
Snowdude: hate geo, you act?
DanTheMan: don’t laugh. i always have but i’m cool.
Snowdude: nothing wrong with it. I’m a terrible actor.
Looking at his ceiling, Phil felt bad for making Dan feel insecure by bringing up school, pointedly marking their age difference. He knew what it was like to be looked down upon by the older kids. He quickly typed another message.
Snowdude: I signed up to art because I thought it would be easy and almost failed. Seems like i suck at art.
DanTheMan: ROFL. ur weird.
DanTheMan: let’s be friends.
Snowdude: Lesbifriends
DanTheMan: forget it lol. I regret asking.
Snowdude: noooooooooooo
DanTheMan: i have to go my mums calling. add me on msn i’m [email protected]
Snowdude: Rawr xD. ACe. Good luck with homework
DanTheMan: fuckoff with your capitalistion and good grammra ttyl
And just like that, Dan exited their chat. Phil smiled and logged into MSN, hesitating only for a second before adding his new friend.
Ian opened their conversation with a buzz as per usual and invited him over to play games with the girls. He hesitated, but another notification popped up and it brought a smile to his face.
GoThic chiK (Anja): coming or not phL?
Phil rolled his eyes, at least Anja would be there and even if he didn’t like girls like that, Anja was always cool. She was like a girl, but also not. Well, she was a girl of course, but she felt like a guy, but not - like him. He didn’t fit in as the kind of man his dad wanted to see in his son and Anja didn’t impress her mother either. Maybe they were losers but they still had each other.
Phil Strikr: omw Annie tell Ian
GoTik chiK (Anja): told you to stop butcherin ma name.
Phil laughed and sent her a buzz before logging out and getting into his favourite blue jeans and a green T-shirt.
--
The night went by in a breeze, with loads of pizza, drinking and a few rounds of TEG that ended in disaster. He mostly enjoyed it until the topic of dating came up yet again. All the guys had some sort of girlfriend or arrangement and Phil had barely anything to show for. For the umpteenth time, Phil considered coming out to them but he could never bring himself to do it. Maybe one of these days when he was drunk enough.
“Phil, Phil!” Someone said.
Anja snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, startling him and causing him to drop the dice he had been shaking for who knows how long. “Mate, what is it with you today?”
“Uh, nothing. I was just thinking about Buffy,” he said.
Anja gave him a look that let him know she was not buying it, but the rest rolled their eyes and continued with their conversation. For a moment Phil thought he was off the hook but Ian looked at him expectantly.
“What?” Phil asked.
Ian sighed heavily. “Sandra asked about you again, mate. When are you going to ask her out?”
Phil tried not to look like a deer caught in the headlights. “I think it would be weird to date your cousin, we are like brothers at this point.”
Ian snorted and shook his head. “We are like brothers but not actually. It’s not like incest or anything.”
“Ew, don’t say that,” Phil said, paling at the thought of Sandra and her wandering hands. He was not going to repeat the mistake of asking her out. One sloppy kiss was more than enough.
Richard, Noah and Keith laughed at the face he pulled but Ian merely smiled at him.
“Oi! Phil is mine, let him be,” Anja said, shuffling closer to him and resting her hand on his thigh.
Phil’s eyes widened but she gave him a small wink before looking back at their friends.
“What? Are you his girlfriend now?” asked Richard with a frown.
“Yeah,” she said, looking uncomfortable at the question. Anja didn’t like Richard like that, she loved him as a friend, but he had a huge crush on her and he was terrible at hiding it. Phil didn’t need to read her mind to know she didn’t want to break his heart or risk their friendship but it was bound to happen eventually.
Wrapping his arm around Anja’s waist loosely, he set his head on her shoulder. “Tell Sandra I’m taken,” Phil said and Anja relaxed against him, letting her head gently rest on his.
Richard looked disappointed but didn’t press the issue any further.
Eventually, the board games stopped being fun and the alcohol ran out so they declared the party over. As soon as Phil said goodbye and stood from his spot Anja followed him, making the others laugh and howl at them, half whispering about what they were going to do in Phil’s bedroom.
Once they were out, Phil turned to look at her. “Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked, hopefully.
“Nah, I was expecting to crash in your bed.” She began the walk back home and Phil followed her.
“What?” Phil squeaked.
Anja laughed and turned towards him, but her eyes looked a bit misty. “Don’t be daft, it’s not that.” She poked him gently, looking into his eyes. “I just feel sad and I don’t wanna be alone right now. I know I can trust you like that.”
“Alright,” Phil said, still walking at her side. “Do you want to talk about it? What happened?”
Anja looked away from him, her eyes focusing on the moon for a moment as she spoke. “I was dating someone but they are not sure about it anymore and it sucks.”
Phil stopped walking and pulled her into a hug. “An- you know you can tell me anything, come stay with me too.”
“I know.” She returned the hug tightly only for a moment before stepping back. “Come on!” She said, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. “Kath will be fuming if we are not there before midnight.”
He snorted and laced their fingers together. “I’ll tell my mum you call her Kath behind her back one day, you know?”
“Meh,” Anja shrugged. “She loves me. I’ll live.”
They stayed silent for most of the 20 minute walk home and had to sneak in, but soon enough they were in his room. Phil gave Anja a big T-shirt and a pair of joggers and slipped into his own pyjamas while she changed in the bathroom.
Five minutes later they were looking up at the ceiling as they lay under the covers in the small bed.
“Hey, Phil?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think Richard will get over his crush eventually?”
Phil turned on his side to look at her. “Probably, he has gotten over the others.”
She nodded. “Are you seeing anyone that you haven’t told us about?” she asked in a drastic change of topic.
Phil sputtered. “As if anyone would be interested.”
“You have pretty eyes and perfect eyebrows. I wish I had your eyebrows,” Anja said. “You should dye your hair black though, it would make your eyes pop.”
“I don’t know… Would you do it for me?”
“Of course, ginge,” She laughed.
“I’m not a ginger!” Phil whined.
“Course not.” She poked at his stomach. “Good night.”
“Good night, An,” he said and shut his eyes, letting sleep claim him.
---
It was a weird summer. Anja remained sad for the majority of it but refused to talk about her boyfriend, choosing to focus on giving Phil an extreme makeover instead. She dyed his hair black, took him to the mall to pick up black skinny jeans and to the stylist that had given her her emo haircut to tame his mane.
By the end of it, Phil had perfected a nice image for his MySpace page. He had even ventured into eyeliner for some pictures when he’d gotten bored waiting for Anja to get ready for a party. He’d enjoyed the results and even Ian and the guys said it looked cool on him. Even Dan thought he looked really cool when he saw the pics.
He got to talk to Dan quite a few times as well before going off to uni and caught up with life. It was amazing to learn that they were actually super compatible, liking many of the same games, music and shows. The best part was that Dan said there was a chance he would go to York like him so they could hang out and Phil liked the sound of that, even if Dan was still a full year away from it. Dan was honestly super cool and Phil really had come to consider him a friend in the last few months so it would be super fun to have someone close to hang out and play games with. It sounded like a great plan.
Daydreaming about their potential meet-up was a nice distraction from Dan’s home life, which seemed to be in constant turmoil as Phil came to find over time. There was a reason Dan barely mentioned his younger brother and he had vaguely complained about his father’s rage issues, so Phil always let Dan talk first, and let whatever was troubling him be aired so that he could offer his support or advice if it was needed. Phil also shared some of his issues and insecurities, but his problems were not nearly as bad as Dan’s so he tried to keep things on the positive side and help Dan out.
But Phil wasn’t expecting to catch Dan in a lie only weeks later. As it turned out, Dan had never been 16, he was a 14 year old kid. It was a silly lie, but it still hurt Phil, so he asked Dan to never lie to him again. Dan was very apologetic and begged him not to break their friendship, which Phil had briefly considered, but decided against, especially because of the kind of bullying Dan suffered at school on the regular. After the initial shock had worn off, Phil reassured him that they could be friends, even if they would have to be long distance.
Dan deserved to have supportive friends. He needed someone to be there for him and Phil knew he could be that someone. At an appropriate distance, of course.
It was a bit of a rough patch between them, but after they had resolved the issue, life went on as usual. Phil dived head first into his uni life and there were so many changes. He moved into the dorm and met new people at uni, but sadly, he wasn’t able to stay in touch with his friends back home as much as he’d have liked due to his schedule. In a way, he had inadvertently severed most contact with his life back home, but no matter how much things changed, some stayed the same: his lack of a love life and being trapped in the closet.
He decided that it was time to take his life by the horns and that marked the beginning of a new chapter for him, an exploring phase of sorts. After some consideration, he opened a profile on a dating website, hoping to find a nice guy he could date. His new look did seem to help a lot, but his popularity applied mostly to MySpace. The dating scene seemed a bit dry, or maybe he was just too awkward. There weren't a bunch of messages flooding his inbox by any means.
To be honest, he was starting to get really discouraged, thinking he would never meet someone, but his luck finally changed on a mighty weekend when in a hidden corner of a pub, he got his first taste of freedom. He was blonde and tall and three years older than Phil and his lips were on Phil’s, quickly taking him to heaven, making his blood rush south and his stomach tingle. His hands were inside Phil’s T-shirt and struggling with his jeans’ zipper in less than five minutes. It wasn’t too rough or something that Phil didn’t want, but the speed of it all scared him a bit. It was too much too soon and he wasn’t ready even though he wanted to be, so he took a step back and apologised.
“I’m sorry,” he said, still trying to catch his breath. “Listen, I’m not out yet, not even to my friends back home, my new uni friends or my roommates.”
The guy nodded and smiled at him. “That’s alright,” he said. “Could I get your phone number? Maybe we can meet up some other time.”
Phil nodded and saved it in the other’s phone, but he was not going to trick himself into thinking he was going to get a text. His chances were slim.
They parted ways with a quick kiss, which surprised Phil. He let out a deep sigh as he watched the blonde disappear into the crowd and surveyed the pub in search of his friends.
Towering over most people did come in handy and allowed him to locate his roommates in under a minute. Phil tried to put on a brave smile as he made his way to them and accepted a beer, taking a zip and groaning at the bitter taste. It was performative and he knew it, but he didn’t know what else to do, so he followed along with what everyone was doing. He got drunk - and even made out with a girl briefly just out of boredom.
He felt nothing, nothing at all, but his roommates cheered him on and the girl seemed happy enough.
That made one of them.
--
Once back in his room, Phil put his phone to charge and turned it on. There were a few missed calls and texts from Dan, asking if he was free to talk. Phil got a bad feeling about it and tried to call him but Dan didn’t pick up. Maybe it was too late and he had fallen asleep. Biting the inside of his cheek, Phil hesitated before sending a text.
“I’m sorry I missed your calls, I was out until just now and my phone had died X.x . I’m free to talk in the morning!”
Phil lay in bed for what seemed like forever, the room spinning a bit around him, as he thought about the blonde guy, the boring night, the girl he kissed - and Dan. He wished he would have stayed home and talked to Dan, maybe played some games, or talked about school. It was sad that he got along better with a 14 year old than his own friends. What did that say about him? He fell into a fitful night of sleep just as the sun rose above the clouds.
The talk with Dan didn’t come the next day, or the following one. In fact, Dan stopped replying entirely for over a week and Phil’s stomach was twisted into knots. Over twenty messages unanswered could only mean bad news, right?
The following weekend, Phil sent yet another text: “Please, Dan. Just let me know that you are ok.”
Ten minutes later, his phone finally vibrated. “im ok. stop.”
Phil’s eyes welled up with tears. “I’m so sorry, Dan. I’ve been worried about you. I went out and had so many calls and missed texts, I thought something had happened and you needed to talk. It’s ok if you don’t want to, I just didn’t want you to think that I didn’t care. Sorry I missed your call.”
His screen lit up with a call immediately and Dan’s raspy voice greeted him on the other side. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s ok,” Phil said, trying to calm himself down, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He swallowed thick and attempted a small smile, even if Dan could not see it. “What did you want to talk about?”
Dan was silent for a moment, but then he let out a tired sigh. “Nothing much, it’s fine.”
“You can tell me, you know you can,” Phil said with a frown.
“Last weekend I went to the mall and I had some problems with the usual shitheads…” he trailed off.
“Did they throw rocks at you again?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t care. And on Monday -” Dan paused.
“What happened on Monday?” Phil asked, frowning at the pain he could hear in Dan’s voice.
“One of the idiots grabbed me by the neck and slapped me for like 5 minutes,” Dan mumbled. “And I know what you’re going to say, one of the teachers saw and did nothing. He even laughed.”
“Dan,” Phil said, his heart breaking for his friend. “I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve any of that. I wish I could be there to help you.”
“It’s fine,” Dan said in a monotone voice. “I didn’t react, I didn’t want to give them that satisfaction.”
“It takes a lot of courage not to fight back. You were very brave.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Dan muttered. “Almost gave them another satisfaction.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m so tired sometimes, you know? Just so tired.” Then, Dan cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’ve been staying with my grandma since Tuesday, so I’m ok.”
Phil had to clear his throat too, trying not to get choked up by what Dan was implying. “You have to get good grades so you can get into uni and we can hang out, ok?”
Dan snorted. “As if you would hang out with me. You’re cool and I’m just a 14 year old loser.”
“You’re not a loser. You’re kind, and funny, and one of the coolest people I know. I know that one day you will be a great guy. Maybe you’ll be a famous actor, like you’ve always wanted.”
“Yeah… maybe,” Dan said. “Wanna play Mario Kart later? I have homework.”
Phil looked at the time, it was already late, but a few races wouldn’t hurt. “Sure. Text me when you’re done.”
“Thanks, Phil,” Dan said and Phil could picture a little smile on his face.
“No problem. See you later.”
“Yeah. Hey, can I follow your MySpace?” Dan asked.
“You can follow me anywhere,” Phil said. “We are friends.”
“Yeah, ok,” Dan snorted. “See you later, Philly.”
Phil rolled his eyes and hung up the phone.
Letting out a deep sigh, he decided to do the “adult thing” and study a little more for the exam he had the following morning so that he could join Dan online later. It was not a lot, but he felt better now that Dan knew Phil was on his side and he cared.
That night, Phil stayed on his DS until 4, but he managed to get a passing grade on the exam anyway. He rewarded himself with a 10 hour nap afterwards.
--
All through his first term at uni, Phil tried his best to keep in touch with Dan, but with his tight study schedule, the weekends pretending to be straight and attempting to not stress himself half to death with his new chaotic life, it was getting increasingly difficult.
Before long, Phil had to make a drastic choice. Something needed to change and he knew exactly what was the worst stressor for him: his straight-sex-maniac persona. And so it was decided.
He invited his four roommates to their very limited common space and paced in the square foot of floor he had available to himself waving his hands around without uttering a word until one of the guys asked if he was ok.
No, Phil was not ok at all, he was nearly crawling up the wall, so instead of giving a carefully planned and rehearsed speech, he stopped short of the wall, turned around and said: “I lied… I am not super experienced, I don’t have a lot of sex experience. In fact, I have zero experience, because… because I’m gay. I’m sorry that I lied, I just wanted you guys to like me, you are all so cool. I wanted to be your friend. I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand. I-”
Peter got up from the armrest of the sofa, causing Phil to take a step back just in case, and gave him a hard pat on the shoulder. “It’s ok. We are all figuring things out,” he said. “Also, Sarah will be happy to know that you are not disgusted by her presence, you’re just thick as all fuck and gay. Right, Sarah?”
“You like me?” Phil squeaked, turning towards the popular blonde girl. She was super nice and also pretty, but she was still not a guy, so there was not even a chance.
“I do. I did, but it’s ok. We can be friends,” she said with a smile.
“We can?” Phil croaked.
Sarah nodded. “You’re a good guy, Phil. Why wouldn’t I want to be your friend? And the fact that you are not opposed to a little makeup also plays in your favour.”
Peter clapped once and rushed to the fridge. He got the Malibu out of the freezer, messily pouring the alcohol into various glasses and mugs and other liquid-holding implements before turning around to face the group and raising his glass. “To Phil, the gayest emo York has ever seen - and a good friend too!” He downed his drink without waiting for anyone else.
Sarah walked over to the kitchenette and grabbed a shot glass, raising it towards Phil with an encouraging smile. “Cheers,” she said and downed her drink. She then passed a repurposed laundry detergent cap full of Malibu to Phil.
“Thank you,” he said, hoping that his eyes could convey the gratitude he felt. “Cheers,” he said and drank the entire thing.
Jimmy and Callan, who had been quiet until now, stood from the sofa and grabbed a mug each, raising them to Phil.
“To Phil, the gay emo,” said Callan with a smirk.
“We can still be friends even if you’re gay and your willy is bigger than all of ours,” Jimmy said with a nod and necked his drink.
Phil laughed. “Stop talking about my dick, Jimmy. You saw nothing!”
“I will when it stops looking back at me every time you sit,” Jimmy cackled.
Phil threw the laundry detergent cap at his head, hitting the target and causing the group to laugh. Hours later, he crawled into his tiny bed and felt the effects of all the alcohol he had consumed rock him gently, like the waves in the sea. He let out a sigh of relief, a smile appearing on his lips as he remembered how the night had started. His coming out had been awkward but still a success. Now he could truly be himself, at least in York, and he couldn’t wait until he was able to live his life fully everywhere.
