jotnrot shadow

[jotnrot]

under this

Some of her clearest memories were of things she had pretended not to see

under this

[jotnrot]

Ctrl

What will your life be like in three years? I startle at the beep thinking someone is calling but it’s just Aida prompting for input. I still get fooled after all these years. It’s been months since someone voice-called me and then it was an automated survey. Some smaller independents and luxury providers still use human callers, but the permission forms are odiously arduous and they still have…

[jotnrot]

the art of collagw

I can’t seem to grasp the art of collage. How to choose parts to paste and preserveAnd discard  that which cost just as much to bring forth 

the art of collagw

[jotnrot]

copy / paste

I spent my day, like other days, Copying and pasting in varying parts and similitudes The line between, what was, what I inject Through the medium of my senses and body and what now is wavers according to perceptions, medium and context.My intent continuously transformed by the variables, my agency questionable at best. I do, I am, somewhere, inextricable. Change is all I know of being alive. 

copy / paste

[jotnrot]

exceptions to the rule

Share what you know about the year you were born. Things I learned about the year I was born from the women that were there: It was the year of the fire horse. In China, they say, there were record numbers of abortions to ward off the destruction to the family these children are believed to bring. My aunt, with emptied womb, returned to her abusive, gambling husband. My mother threw my…

exceptions to the rule

[jotnrot]

returning

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago? I posted this 2 days ago, but am posting it again (slightly revised in response to the daily prompt as it was thinking about where I was a year ago (long physical rehabilitation) that had prompted it. I am back, I slip into my role, my place–working to level the field so I can walk amongst you, again, scraping and crawling back up that hill I…

returning

[jotnrot]

returning

I am back, I slip into my role, my place–working to level the field so I can walk amongst you, again, scraping and crawling back up that hill I never cared to climb Sometimes I see something shimmer in the corner of my eye, an effect that vanishes when I turn to look, like a truth I cannot grasp, in a tongue I vaguely understand. Life is smaller now Less is the goal by way of moreAlways keeping…

returning

[jotnrot]

play

Children play screaming Like their lives depend on itA skill, one hopes, They’ll never need 

play

[jotnrot]

balled up

If I lie on my side and fold into myselfagain, and again, and againkneading my need into the solace between my knees and chin perhaps, I can bring outwhat knaws at me within and face the day anew

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[jotnrot]

stasis

Living is what I do When I’m not thinking of you I’m often in stasis these days The sun warms my shoulders Into feeling less old than My bark-like skin declares I spend my days exposed Like light can appease thirst And bring life to dried dirt But it won’t And I’m left fiddling With […]stasis

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[jotnrot]

untold

Have you or have I rewritten the story? I recall like yesterday How I recoiled How he called you out How you insisted, then persisted and convinced, yourself How I went along, against all my instincts because I wanted to destroy something that night Because the one that should have stepped in, hadn’t Because I should have asked him to Because he shouldn’t have had to Because I shouldn’t have had…

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[jotnrot]

not enough

I’ve run circles around shadows Raised two people from a grain Crossed oceans and added, collected and borrowed, Begged and bent to be let in yet fled at every chance I’ve climbed mountains in my mind and tumbled down numbed by blatant lies meant to exalt and suppress all uprising Nothing has touched me like colours and smiles hiding in the corner of a mouth or an eye or the blush of a cheek or…

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[jotnrot]

small measures

It has been a while, measured in breaths, in, out, like tick and talk about the weather Time marked and dismissed with the taking of pills and meals and chilled tea I haven’t thought of you in days, maybe weeks Thyme cures all, they say Rambles and brambles would etch patterns more entrancing than the creases of these sheets imprinted on my skin Artists, like prisoners, make much of so…

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[jotnrot]

faulty vision

With faults and all Tweaking and peeking No filter

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[jotnrot]

recovery

Stay sharp, stay strongstandkeep walking, keep walking  tall face out  keep walking, keep looking, straight aheadkeep typing, keep flinching,inching towards a better placetowards comfort talking In here all is silenceno one talks, they look out windows, they lookpast floors, they lookto their next stepall is investedin that next step

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[jotnrot]

save

And I want to save that poem and that other one Fold it into my pastry cortex here, now, to find it whenever I gnaw mindless this way to remember that time, that is now, when I was laid out splayed head ringing with spring breeze ease leaking thoughts of fucking awe at all that is and words’ power to sow/seed/warp/tear/lift/free I want to hit SAVE, UPLOAD and NOTIFY, should I slipslink back into…

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[jotnrot]

without a word

Some know, though they stay quiet They meet your eyes steadily, knowing you know, they would change it if they could let the comfort slip off and stand flayed and flawed as they see you, past the layers of nuance you worked a lifetime to layer into a thick bark now peeling away under their gaze leaving you breadth to forgive and breathe again

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