Joy Stokes Writes

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3 Ways To Cope With Office Politics Without Losing Your Mind (Or Your Black Card)

3 Ways To Cope With Office Politics Without Losing Your Mind (Or Your Black Card)

One thing that I absolutely hate about being a black woman in the workplace is office politics. I’ve found that the unwritten rule is that black women have to play the office politics game ten times better than their white women counterparts.

It’s also a game that black women must have a general understanding of while moving up the corporate ladder. In some cases, black women have to master…

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I'm Not A Fashionista, But Why Did Mrs. Trump Wear That Zara Coat To See Brown Kids?

I’m Not A Fashionista, But Why Did Mrs. Trump Wear That Zara Coat To See Brown Kids?

I’ve been relatively quiet around these parts of the interwebs, but my spirit has called on me to discuss something: Respect for decorum.

Now I’m not a fashionista at all. Not by a long shot. In fact, my motto for getting dressed every day is, “If it’s clean, it fits, and won’t make you look homeless, then wear it.” That’s just my brand.

But I am also well acquainted with respect for decorum.…

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Do Black Kids Fare Better In Black Private Schools?

Do Black Kids Fare Better In Black Private Schools?

Every day when I wake my 3rd grader up for school, I feel a sense of pride for him. He attends a mostly black and Latino private school on Cleveland’s East Side, and to be honest, it’s the best education he’s ever received in his nine years of life.

His teachers closely study trends and studies that helps each student better understand their material, and they often take studies that helps…

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6 Tips For Negotiating and Closing Deals Like A Boss

6 Tips For Negotiating and Closing Deals Like A Boss

In my former working life, I was a photographer and videographer. Although I absolutely loved my job, my problem was that I never knew how to negotiate my pay, and close a deal on a contract.

I was so bad at it, that I would accept damn near pennies for over 20 hours of work, including taking high quality photos and videos at an event, and then I would be angry with myself for negotiating such a…

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#Archives | I Tried A Menstrual Cup, And It Was Pretty Freaking Awesome

#Archives | I Tried A Menstrual Cup, And It Was Pretty Freaking Awesome

Published September 09, 2016 on xonecole.com

Are tampons and maxi pads yesterday’s news?

After reading an article where model Lauren Wasser lost her limbs because of symptoms related to Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), I started to question myself, and my reasoning for using tampons. That week, I saw several products online for natural tampons, cloth maxi pads, and menstrual cups, that I had not…

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#Archives | Never Forget: RIP Poussey (Also, OINTB Season 6 Is Happening)

#Archives | Never Forget: RIP Poussey (Also, OINTB Season 6 Is Happening)

Published May 10, 2017 on xonecole.com  **SPOILER ALERT: If you have not watched the fourth season of Orange Is The New Black, then please look away now.**

The new full trailer for season 5 of OITNB was released, and if you’ve binged watched every season like I have then you might feel bittersweet watching the new full season 5 trailer. If you recall, last season OINTB actress Samira Wiley’s…

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7 Celebrities Who Almost Gave Up Trying Before Their Big Breaks

7 Celebrities Who Almost Gave Up Trying Before Their Big Breaks

There’s an immensely motivating video of Oscar-winning director Jordan Peele giving an inspiring speech on Oscar’s night about never quitting that’s making it’s rounds on Twitter, and it’s a tear jerker.

https://twitter.com/TheRoot/status/972789230337343488

“I almost never became a director. You’re not a failure if you don’t get this (holds up Oscar’s award), but I almost didn’t do it. Because I…

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5 Reasons Why A Career Change Is Probably The Best Thing That Will Ever Happen To You

5 Reasons Why A Career Change Is Probably The Best Thing That Will Ever Happen To You

Back in college, I once overheard a conversation between a man who wanted to quit college, and a woman who was encouraging him not to give up.

The man said, “College degrees don’t mean shit! I know a girl who graduated from this same college, and where does she work? In a damn call center!”

That conversation hit me hard. There’s this myth that when you go to college, you’re supposed to be able to…

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My Addiction To Legos Has Officially Become Unhealthy

My Addiction To Legos Has Officially Become Unhealthy

Like many parents, I hate Legos. The pieces get lost, and I tend to catch an attitude reminiscent of Faye Dunaway’s “No wire hangers” meltdown when I step on them in the middle of the night, while on the way to the bathroom.

This is why I usually tell people never to buy my 9-year-old son Lego anything for birthdays or holidays. But grannies, aunties, and uncles are going to be grannies,…

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#Archives | Comedienne Aida Rodriguez's Infamous Read On Afro-Latinos Being "Black Enough"

#Archives | Comedienne Aida Rodriguez’s Infamous Read On Afro-Latinos Being “Black Enough”

Actress and comedienne Aida Rodriguez is funny as hell.

The Puerto Rican/Dominican “Last Comic Standing” alum rarely holds her tongue about subjects that tick her off, especially when it comes to being a single parent and working in Hollywood. But there’s something else that she’s been very vocal about lately, and that’s leaving Latina women out of conversations about race and racism.

Don’t get…

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#Archives | This Spoken Word Inspired By Beyonce's "Formation" Is #BlackGirlMagic

#Archives | This Spoken Word Inspired By Beyonce’s “Formation” Is #BlackGirlMagic

Published March 24, 2016 on xonecole.com 

If I could talk to my 10-year-old self, I would tell her not to be jealous of envy. 

The little black girl with curly hair who got straight A’s in class sitting right next to me, 

I would tell her, 

Rather than pointlessly making every other girl into enemies, 

It’s much better to form a friend…

These are the lines from Ernestine Johnson’s latest spoken…

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On 'Black Panther' & Inner Healing Before Traveling To Africa

On ‘Black Panther’ & Inner Healing Before Traveling To Africa

*Disclaimer: This post contains spoilers. If you’re the type of person who is easily turned off by spoilers, then here is where you should stop reading.* 

Black Panther, the latest Marvel comic book tale to hit theaters, is winning big with many audiences, including black movie goers. After watching the film with my husband for a movie date, I left the theater completely understanding why. It was…

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#Archives | What Amber Rose's Emotional #SlutWalk Taught Me

#Archives | What Amber Rose’s Emotional #SlutWalk Taught Me

Posted October 1, 2016 on xonecole.com

I was in 7th grade when I first kissed a boy. His name was Will. We were young lovers in every sense of the word, and when it finally happened, we were both excited about our first time experience.

The problem?

He told his friends, who told others, which resulted in me being slut-­shamed for not sleeping with he or his friends. For years, I was heartbroken…

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#WakandaCameToSlay | These 'Black Panther' Movie Goers Looked Amazing On Opening Night

#WakandaCameToSlay | These ‘Black Panther’ Movie Goers Looked Amazing On Opening Night

Marvel’s latest superhero film, Black Panther, has created a buzz that I’ve never seen in my 30-something years of existence. Of course there have been other movies featuring mostly black casts that has created a big buzz as well, but Black Panther is different.

This isn’t a movie about black kids navigating gun or drug violence in American inner cities. This isn’t a movie about black people…

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#Archives | Reagan Gomez Talks Balancing Motherhood, Hollywood, and Politics

#Archives | Reagan Gomez Talks Balancing Motherhood, Hollywood, and Politics

Published October 24, 2015 on xonecole.com

Before I interviewed Reagan Gomez, I pictured her having lunch with some Hollywood shufflers while checking her Twitter mentions at a swanky Hollywood restaurant. Maybe she was flipping her long, golden-brown locks over her shoulder, while laughing at an inside joke from said Hollywood shuffler, resting easy knowing that her children were being cared for…

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'Lady In My Life' Is The Best Song On Michael Jackson's Thriller Album. Do Not Argue This

‘Lady In My Life’ Is The Best Song On Michael Jackson’s Thriller Album. Do Not Argue This

35 years ago today, Michael Jackson released his sixth studio album, Thriller, and the game hasn’t been the same since.

https://twitter.com/WORLDSTAR/status/936270707352326146

Each and every song on that album is guaranteed to get listeners up out of their seats. From Wanna Be Starting Something, to PYT and Thriller, Michael made sure that the world was doing something besides sitting while…

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'Lady In My Life' Is The Best Song On Michael Jackson's Thriller Album. Do Not Argue This

‘Lady In My Life’ Is The Best Song On Michael Jackson’s Thriller Album. Do Not Argue This

35 years ago today, Michael Jackson released his sixth studio album, Thriller, and the game hasn’t been the same since.

https://twitter.com/WORLDSTAR/status/936270707352326146

Each and every song on that album is guaranteed to get listeners up out of their seats. From Wanna Be Starting Something, to PYT and Thriller, Michael made sure that the world was doing something besides sitting while…

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