Jared Padabooty 🍑 @jpadabooty - Tumblr Blog

concept: cursed amulet that convinces the wearer there is no way it could possibly be cursed, and makes them completely resistant to any attempts to convince them otherwise

valtsv

to clarify further: that’s it. that’s the entire curse. it has no other effects on the wearer, malevolent or otherwise.

valtsv

them: yo you should take that necklace off it’s definitely cursed dude

me: hahah no way bro that’s crazy. like, that’s totally bogus, dude.

fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva

pearl-likes-pi

this tweet is my magnum opus

conquerorwurm

I love that age when little girls get really weird and mystical and savage

Like nine through eleven years old, those are some weird years for us

lucyaudley

When I was 9-10 I read The Egypt Game and The Headless Cupid, taught myself hieroglyphics, and decided to practice witchcraft

seldnei

The past three years, my son has come home telling me about the girls he knows, who are: 1. possessed by a demon controlled by a button at the back of her neck, 2. haunted by a dead aunt, and 3. converse regularly with the dead.

gobbochune-deactivated20241018

I used to talk to bees by running in circles of their dance patterns

hungry-skin-vacant-meat

this is my new favourite post omg ♡♡♡

northw0man-deactivated20201019

girlhood in it’s natural unbridled state is magical

fletchingarrows

never forget the mysticism of girlhood

6stronghands

When I was that age, I started hiding part of my supper so later that night I could put food on the wood pile for the monsters. I was worried they were hungry.

wintergaydar

When I was that age, my friends and I would talk to ghosts at recess and pick herbs and do spells in each other’s backyards.

kedreeva

We built a brick falling trap and crafted weapons in order to hunt the bear our father told us was in the woods. I’m sure he told us to keep us out of there, but that sure backfired. We went out and howled to the wolf pack we were sure was in there, too. We dug up bones and made potions out of mud and dried weeds and planned to run away from home and live in the trees that grew in the park nearby.

chasingshhadows

My best friend and I would go back out behind her family’s property and find animal bones and weird shaped twigs and seeds and plants and cast spells and do blood rituals and we definitely summoned some kind of demon from hell

my-brain-on-little-cat-feet

Me and a childhood friend learned and passed notes in hieroglyphics during class. At recess, we would build faerie houses at the bases of trees out of bark, moss, acorn tops, ect and leave them offerings of bread and milk in tiny playcups and saucers

gothiccharmschool

I read a lot of non-fiction books on witchcraft from the library, then drew a bunch of protective and binding sigils and taped them to my closet door. Dad asked me what they were for; “To trap the monsters so I can make deals with them”, I replied. “What sort of deals, sweetie?” asked Dad, who knew me well.

“If they don’t scare me, I’ll tell them which of the neighbor kids are easy to scare.”

hellenhighwater

When I was eight I got into my mom’s old college english textbooks and read the entire greek literature and mythology textbook. For some reason I got some heavy paper and mullberries from the tree in the yard and did a drawing of Icarus with the mullberry juice. Then I rolled it up into a scroll, punched a hole in my bedroom wall down in the corner behind my bed, and stuffed it inside the drywall. Not sure why, but I firmly believed doing so would help me sleep well.

It’s probably still in there. I had to spackle the hole shut a couple years later when my parents found it.

lesbianshepard

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

lesbianshepard

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725

key--lime--pie

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

notaflippinmermaid

No, no no… you identify bone from rock or other substances by touching it to your tongue. If it sticks, it’s bone. The taste itself has nothing to do with it. And most archaeologists won’t lick human bones if they know they’re human.

…and I realize that doesn’t actually do much to prove archaeologists aren’t freaks.

midnightmindcave

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

dinosauriaawesome

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

goawfma

they were like “yooo do the math my guy” lmfaooo

obitoess-deactivated20210124

im more scared of my severe sea sickness

paint-horse-dreamin

Wildlife photographer Paul Goldstein first saw this unusually colored zebra a couple years ago at a camp he runs in Kenya and has been keeping an eye on it ever since. The animal travels alone rather than with a herd like most zebras and he always seems pissed off.

Source

the-bitch-in-boots-blog

A Black Zebra with White Stripes :D

hmn420

animentality

But why is he pissed off

jemthecrystalgem

Cause this one weird guy keeps following him and taking pictures XD

drlangdons

catchymemes

dasebeleren

inject the contents of this bin directly into my veins

bace-jeleren

Take a sip babes

dasebeleren

ottermatopoeia

the most forbidden cocktail

catchymemes

taijispearman

Taken from a friend of a friend.

This friend of mine has been very consciously raising her young daughter outside of stereotypical gender norms. They’ve done quite a number on my friend, and she’s like, “Nope, my kid’s life will be different.”

Her daughter is small for her age, and will probably remain small. This has affected her self-confidence. Earlier this year, my friend decided to tell her daughter a slightly sanitized version of Arya Stark’s journey in GoT, to basically demonstrate how a small girl could learn to be badass.

Six months go by, and the daughter turns from 5 to 6. Her mom asks her what she wants for her birthday. The daughter says, “I want to learn how to fight.” So my friend, who has zero martial arts experience, looks up a place, and they go there.

The moment they get there, my friend is thinking, “This may not be the right place.” It’s a Krav Maga/MMA gym. Lots of burly dudes beating the crap out of each other, basically. Not your kid-friendly karate dojo.

But she doesn’t want to tell her daughter that they have to leave because the place is filled with intimidating men – it would pretty much fly in the face of everything she’s trying to teach her. So she says, “Okay. I don’t know if they have a kid’s class here. Why don’t you go ask who the teacher is, and then ask them?”

So her daughter walks up to one dude, asks for the teacher, then gets pointed to this tattooed, musclebound dude with his head shaved and a goatee. As my friend put, “The guy looked like your bigger, meaner younger brother.”

She trails behind her kid a bit, ready to step in, and listens in. Her daughter walks up the guy and says, “Hi! Do you have classes for kids? I want to learn how to fight.”

The guy looks down at this wee little girl, and he says, “Uh, well, no, we don’t really. Maybe I can talk to your mom and suggest some places for you? This isn’t really a place for little girls.”

Her daughter reaches into her jacket pocket, pulls out a nickel, holds it out to the guy and says, “Valar morghulis.”

The guy takes the nickel, looks at it, then says, totally deadpan: “Valar dohaeris. Of course I can teach you.”

The mom comes over and says, “I thought you said you didn’t have kid’s classes?” The guy says, “We do now. Come into the office and we’ll work up a training schedule.” The mom: “Do you have any idea how much it’ll cost?” The guy holds up the nickel. “She’s already paid up.”

warriormale

A great story about a little girl who wants to learn how to fight.

Check it out……

Train and fight!

WarriorMale

andthwip-deactivated20220219

eggpuffs

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

niggazinmoscow

Everything older people say millennials aren’t doing–shopping, golfing, buying houses, getting married, having kids, dining out–is related to an entire generation having less money than their parents.