𝐍𝟕.

this   is   𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿   𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗱.   ...𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨   𝘰𝘧𝘧.  

[jshepard-a]

#jshepard.  independent,  mutuals  only,  selective,  (s)low  activity  writing  blog  for  a  depiction  of  COMMANDER  JOHN  SHEPARD  from  bioware's  mass  effect trilogy.  will  include  several  verses,  including  fandomless. sole  survivor  of  akuze,  soldier,  earthborn,  and paragon.  mature  topics  within,  mdni.

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01. temp doc. 02. sideblog. 03. promo. 04. playlist. 05. pinboard.

[jshepard-a]

due to being on a vacation hiatus atm, i'm not setting him up tonight, but shepard has been moved from here to @jshepard!

[jshepard-a]

due to being on a vacation hiatus atm, i'm not setting him up tonight, but shepard has been moved from here to @jshepard!

[jshepard-a]

i might actually remake this blog in the very near future. this is a very old blog so i think i might need a fresh start with shep.

[jshepard-a]

had a dream that a new mass effect game was announced at the game awards for 2027 and the preview showed the normandy sr3 and i'm. SO UPSET it was a dream lmao.

[apllecrash]

space-husbands

[jshepard-a]

happy N7 day, shepard is alive.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY COMMANDER SHEPARD  *  assorted dialogue from the mass effect trilogy

it's a big stupid jellyfish.

i don't know what i'd do without you.

you're working too hard.

i'll let you get back to work.

i'm sorry, i'm getting a lot of bullshit on this line.

if i'm walking into hell, i want someone i trust at my side.

oh, now it's personal.

you think we're going to lose?

you'll never be alone.

no matter what happens here... you know i love you. i always will.

i haven't forgotten our time together.

i want you. i want someone i can trust.

i don't know what we're gonna find in there, but i'm not going to lie to you. it's not going to be easy.

i've had enough of your snide insinuations.

it's all just part of the job.

i'm getting a little worried about you, [name].

this shop discriminates against the poor!

consider me officially offended.

you know, [name], if you're not comfortable with this, it's okay. i'm not trying to pressure you.

when should i book the room?

can one of you clarify?

they want to know what we're made of? i say we show them, on our terms.

i should be going.

it's been a long journey, and no one is coming out without scars.

i guess i'm on my own. again.

you don't need to hurt him to get what you want.

you have got to be kidding me.

if i didn't have authorization, how did i get in? you see any other doors?

make me proud. make yourselves proud.

what's that you're drinking?

i just saved your ass.

be alive with me tonight.

sometimes things don't work out the way we'd like. that's just life.

i'm the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head.

i don't argue with plants.

[name], this doesn't have to be hard.

get the hell off my ship.

are you naturally this bitchy, or is it just me?

what are we going to tell them? i had a bad dream?

good times are over.

it's not too late. you don't have to go through with this.

one way or another, we're taking this bitch down.

i told them where to shove it.

you getting soft on me, [name]?

we could test your reach... and my flexibility.

this war has brought us pain, and suffering... and loss.

i assume everything's going well up here?

i don't know what drugs you're on, but stay back and i won't shoot you.

i thought you were a friend of mine. you've got the same suit.

sounds like he needs to get shot.

i've been getting that a lot.

look around you. you're not in this fight alone.

i don't have time to babysit you, [name]. find a way to deal with it.

have you got a minute to talk?

here i am. exactly where i want to be.

never hesitate when you've got the enemy in your sights.

give me what i want. now!

lay it on me, [name]. i love bad news.

i should go.

hell, [name], you were always ugly.

i hadn't heard that. is there anything i can do?

someone piss in your coffee today?

how do i shut this thing up?

i can't promise how things will work out... but i missed you, [name]. i thought about you a lot.

everything we've ever known... it's all hanging by a thread.

something on your mind?

maybe you're right. maybe we can't win this.

keep it up, tough guy. you'll leave in a bag.

you kill people because you think they're beneath you; they're in your way. i kill people because they leave me no choice.

i don't know if i'll be coming down here for these talks anymore.

can we ever be ready for a battle like this?

[jshepard-a]

npc: shepard? but... you're dead! shepard: i've been getting that everywhere, it's a pain in the ass.

[jshepard-a]

just  another  routine  mission.  why  do  they  always  say  that  before  a  mission?  of  course  it's  routine…  you  haven't  done  anything  yet.   +   ft. eli's telling of   commander   john   shepard.   est. 2020 & 2025.

[jshepard-a]

have fun reading my old ass writing from <2022 lmao.

[roarmoreau]

Kaidan: There’s the AA Gun. One of us is going to have to shut it down.

[jshepard-a]

*   alenkoh​   .

It was no secret that the last thing John wanted was to be taken care of. To be coddled or treated like he needed help. And normally, Kaidan didn’t go anywhere near that. They were equals in the relationship. Always there for each other when they needed it, but never forcing their partner to accept help when they didn’t want it.

However.

Considering John had literally just survived a second suicide mission, and Kaidan was honestly amazed that they were both still alive to even have this conversation? He figured he was entitled to a little extra taking care of his boyfriend. At least until he was fully healed up.

“Oh yeah.” He confirmed, a breathy laugh falling from his lips as he leaned back, letting his feet cross in front of him at the ankles as they sat there for a moment. “But it’s kinda nice, you know? I’ve been finding things I had forgotten about. Like, hey, you remember the menu we uh..borrowed from that little place on the citadel with the steak sandwiches? That was stashed in one of the drawers in your quarters.”

Kaidan’s smile falters for a moment as he remembers why he had found it. “Before I knew you were here, no one was sure. I wouldn’t let anyone else into your room. Didn’t feel right. I hope you don’t mind I was the one cleaning it up?”

admittedly,  john  didn’t  remember  much  of  what  he’d  stashed  into  certain  drawers  of  his  cabin.  but,  of  course,  that  could  be  partially  blamed  on  the  war...  his  head  was  focused  on  the  mission,  and  not  much  else.  there  was  room  for  kaidan  and  very  brief  bonding  with  the  rest  of  the  crew,  but  he  couldn’t  seem  to  stop  his  spiraling  thoughts  enough  to  simply  relax.  the  coma  they  put  him  in  was  the  most  sleep  he’d  gotten  in  however  long  it  had  been.

❝     yeah,  that’s  fine,     ❞     he  replies,  giving  kaidan  a  small  smile.  there  wasn’t  too  many  things  around,  and  besides  his  service  medal  and  the  picture  of  kaidan  that  sat  beside  his  stack  of  datapads,  there  wasn’t  much  else  he  wanted  to  bring  to  earth  with  him.  he  wondered  how  the  fish  and  his  hamster  fared  during  the  final  battle,  when  joker  pulled  off  the  evasive  maneuver  of  the  millennium.       

❝     —     how’s  the  hamster     ?     ❞     he  finds  himself  asking...  it  was  just  a  hamster,  but  he’d  gotten  quite  close  to  the  little  guy.

john  fixated  his  attention  on  kaidan,  blue  eyes  shifting  once  to  the  brace  on  his  knee,  the  way  it  itched  his  skin  underneath,  the  way  he  couldn’t  do  anything  about  that.  he  wonders  how  long  he’d  be  stuck  in  the  damn  thing,  but  imagined  it  would  be  awhile...  he  figured  there  was  no  use  in  complaining,  silently  or  otherwise,  at  least  he  was  still  alive...

[stonelions]

haven’t had a shep for a while 

[jshepard-a]

i mentioned this offhanded once, but john does find it calming to sit in the mess or sit in the crew quarters with a datapad and cup of coffee, just listening to the banter. it’s humanizing. makes him realize that these people are a very important part of the equation, away from the regular civilians ( despite those people who john fights for the most. )

[jshepard-a]

*   facedtogether​   .

Condolences. The mere word made him cringe as Jeff looked at what he was doing to concentrate on sitting down, despite of knowing it was meant to be a joke on John’s end. Glad he could hide the grimace behind his own condition.

They’d tried getting EDI back running so many times since crashing by now he wasn’t even sure if he wanted them to be successful. It didn’t seem fair. What if she wasn’t the same anymore? But then again, Shepard survived despite better judgement… Which meant he wasn still the same man, right?

Joker sighed absentmindetly. “Hm? Good. We’re all glad you got out of this shit alive.” He rubbed the back of his head, then readjusted his cap. “Well yeah, not much use for me to be there right now you know… or elsewhere.”

the  was  a  tenseness  in  the  air,  and  john  decided  it  was  time  to  move  away  from  that  conversation.  joker  seemed  like  he  didn’t  want  to  dwell  on  what  happened,  and  john  wished  he  could  do  the  same.  the  pounding  in  his  head  and  every  limb  and  appendage  that  throbbed  told  him  he  couldn’t  not  dwell  on  it.  

he’d  gotten  to  know  the  man  over  the  years,  however...  while  visiting  the  cockpit,  and  busting  him  out  of  the  normandy  for  a  drink  down  in  purgatory,  or  a  simple  walk  through  the  presidium,  he  picked  up  on  a  few  of  his  tells.  things  he’d  never  mention.  though  he  seemed  a  tad  relieved,  to  see  that  john  wasn’t  a  mess  of  meat  and  tubes  again.

❝     are  you  eating     ?     ❞     it  was  hard  to  assume  anybody  had  an  appetite  after  what  happened...  the  nurses  throwing  away  stale  sandwiches  that  john  simply  pushed  away  from  him,  unable  to  hold  anything  down.  he  wasn’t  sure  if  that  was  because  of  his  injuries,  or  if  it  was  because  he  was  too  wound  up  to  eat.      ❝     i  can  get  a  nurse  to  bring  you  something  in.     ❞     or  maybe  just  a  nice  warm  cup  of  coffee.

[jshepard-a]

*   defyxoblivion​   .

There was still so much more work to do, but when Steve had been told the Commander was awake he’d dropped everything to visit him. He had few friends as true and good as John, and needed to be there for him.

“I don’t know, Shepard. You look like Hell.“

“Maybe I’ll finally be the pretty one, eh?“

It was a miracle that John survived, my God. Steve wanted to hug him, but imagined that might not be pleasant. He’d have to wait. “You need anything? Whatever it is, I’ll get it.”

❝     i  probably  feel  worse  than  i  look,     ❞     he  comments,  his  skin  pulling  around  his  mouth  when  he  smiles,  the  commander  flinching  just  a  tad  at  the  discomfort.  he  didn’t  deal  with  this  whole  thing  when  cerberus  rebuilt  him...  he  was  still  in  whatever  coma  they  had  him  under  until  he  was  almost  fully  healed.  of  course  he’d  sustained  a  few  punches  to  the  jaw  when  he  was  in  the  reds,  but  even  that  didn’t  feel  as  off-putting.

he  gestures  to  the  seat  beside  his  hospital  bed,  silently  inviting  steve  to  take  a  seat.  he  was  grateful  for  the  company.      ❝     nah,  seems  like  i  get  special  treatment...  like  i  saved  the  galaxy  or  something.     ❞     a  soft  laugh.      ❝     no  but,  really,  thanks  for  stopping  by.  these  walls  only  keep  you  sane  for  so  long,  and  i’m  just  itching  to  get  out  there  and  help,  when  i  look  out  the  window.     ❞

he  would  be  there  eventually.  the  doctors  hadn’t  given  him  an  ETA  on  when  he’d  possibly  be  able  to  walk  without  leg  braces  and  a  set  of  crutches,  if  he  was  lucky,  other  times  he  was  confined  to  a  wheelchair.  but  hopefully  he’d  get  some  good  news  soon.      ❝     ——     how’s  the  crew  holding  up     ?     ❞