Jump Without Looking

My name's Kate. I'm 20, Irish and easily distracted

[jump-without-looking]

Turn around, one step

Boom.

A pillow thrown intently at your face.

Blind for a moment

And then staring in bewilderment

At that needle you've been searching for.

Unveiled.

Touch her.

Pin prick of blood

Waits a moment before appearing.

Pauses for effect

Then strides on stage with certainty in its existence.

Presence.

It slowly expands diameter

Burst, and oozes

Down and around your finger,

Gripping it gently with its warm, red touch.

This is her. The needle.

This is the red you've longed to shed all your life.

Do not pressurise the puncture.

Do not prevent the thick wine from

pulsing onto your skin with every heartbeat.

It is trickling now

But soon the dam will break

And it will flood your every pore and crevice.

Feel it's warmth,

Close your eyes and revel in this discovery.

Put the needle on a chain and hang her by your chest.

Cherish her

And remember that she was never yours to find.

Never yours to keep,

But graces you now in a way which you must reward.

As the blood streams from your body,

Notice its continuous depth.

Deep red rich blood

On and on in bountiful supply

Vast hidden reservoirs you never believed could live inside you.

Marvel in these resources

As they pour into your soul.

This is not planet earth

This is you.

Just you in all your inescapable morality.

No need to save for future endeavours.

It ends tomorrow.

Feel it.

Let it kill you.

By KON (me)

[jump-without-looking]

Two birds so delicate should not nest together so long. They will weaken - beckoning danger. They will blind one another to vulnerability, as their feathers grow brittle, their armour stolen. What is to happen in one bird’s absence? Can you learn to fly, or will you wither in your shell? How frightening it must be to awake again in a world you once left behind. Escape is not permanent. Ignorance is bliss until it ends. Can you promise me that this was not a mistake? If you must travel south then why are you here? I will freeze in Winter’s clutch or soar into Spring. Are you ready?

KON (me)

[eternally-lost-deactivated20190]

[the-perfect-aesthetic]

Words & Quotes Blog

[wordsnquotes]

I’m scared as hell to want you. But here I am, wanting you anyway.

“Crash Into Me, Part Two.“ Grey’s Anatomy. (via wordsnquotes)

[jump-without-looking]

[jump-without-looking]

All these people I hold dear. It’s hard to balance. Hard to breathe. I cannot lose them - I love their names. But just how many can there be? If I’m losing touch, am I losing heart? I can still retrace the steps from which my loyalty unfolds. It’s like a film. It brings emotions so real that you can embrace their skin. See their smiles. Hear their laughter and yours returned. How could you let that go? How could you fit it in? It is the change that frightens most - The change in me, for one, and then the fear that I will regress; Slip back to secrets, shame and pretence - All that I have scraped away so painstakingly since that time. And too in joining together the then and now - The circumstance which lead to us. Is it the only one in which such electricity conducts? Are we an ill-fitting dress upon a shrunken corpse? Friendships drowned by louder noise. Fallen.

KON (Me)

[brawling]

[wordsnquotes]

When I am silent, I have thunder hidden inside.

Rumi (via wordsnquotes)

[jump-without-looking]

I feel I feel before I think, yet that is impossible. In fact, I think before I feel, just like every other human But what I think is so unclear and what I feel is so, so real. Is it mysterious? Or is it just human nature? Perhaps human nature is simply complex and mysterious by nature.

KON (me)

[jump-without-looking]

I do so much considering that the word itself feels almost like a friend. Considering, reflecting, thinking, feeling... Feeling. But what would it look like if all these feelings became one, and are they perhaps already one at heart? What would be the painting, the song, the poem or the dance all encapsulating of what it is to feel __________? That word. What is that word and how could it exist?

KON (me)

[jump-without-looking]

I know

If you were to kiss me I know I would melt. My heart would stop beating At the clink of our belts.

I’d know, for a moment, That I wasn’t all bad, For all that you touch Holds some silver facade.

I’ll know, if you touch me, That it won’t be for long - That these moments escape us Like a dream, or a song.

And not only for you, But for me it would too Be a labour of lust, Not a love to pursue.

Still, in this moment, With your hands in my hair, The thought of our parting Is the one I can’t bear.

I know I live life on impulse. I might fall a bit hard But what else could I do When you knocked on my guard?

And I know that despite me, You are like, and you like me, But you like her, and I’ll love her But for now, you’re my lover.

[kushandwizdom]

She had a big love inside her, and she needed to give it.

Jeanne DuPrau, The Prophet of Yonwood (via kushandwizdom)

[thelovejournals]

Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.

C.S Lewis (via thelovejournals)

[jump-without-looking]

I was born with a butterfly inside me. She fluttered, but I never knew she was there. You see, I often felt her flying; the cool breeze of every beat, but for all I knew, her wings were just an organ. Nothing special. Just ignore. And others had this butterfly too. They told me of her, and I thought well. But still, my lonely butterfly went unnoticed and contained. It was this day, but two years ago, that the butterflies were celebrated across the land. The sights and sounds of it brought me mighty joy, for it was the coming together of man. And deep within, my butterfly cheered, for she had rendered hope, that one day she too would be seen and celebrated by her home. I heard this rumble, not knowing from where it came, but went on about my days. As time went on, she grew a voice and tried to talk. I cried. For months and months, she beckoned me to listen to her words. For months and months I drowned her out with unnecessary noise. As she grew louder, so did the noise. The debate had gotten fierce. I held it all inside my mind, and it all but killed me once. But then one day, while sitting still, hearing nothing but the noise, I found a switch that silenced it and thought I'd try it out. One flick, and stop, and all the noise was gone. Then, from the shadows, a tired voice echoed. She didn't shout. She wasn't mean. She simply introduced herself: 'I've been here through all those years, and I have watched you suffer.' I said hello. I was surprised, and yes, a little frightened. 'Are you the beat I feel inside? Is it your wings that flutter?' We spoke a while. I heard her out. She knew a lot about me. It took some time, but now we're friends. She has made my life exciting.

- KON

[horrifying]

[themotivationjournals]

I can’t tell you exactly what I’m looking for, but I’ll know it when it happens. I want to be breathless and weak, crumpled by the entrance of another person inside my soul.

Aimee Bender, The Girl in the Flammable Skirt (via themotivationjournals)