“makes me want a hotdog real bad.”
wally west x batsis! reader
The Fourth of July party at Wayne Manor had been advertised as one thing:
“No adults. No missions. No responsibilities. Just teenagers. And Dick”
Bruce was away on Justice League business. Alfred had been convinced to spend the evening with Leslie and Lucius after Dick practically shoved him out the front door.
Which meant the manor—and the massive backyard—belonged entirely to the younger generation.
It took less than fifteen minutes for absolute chaos to begin.
Music blasted from speakers scattered around the yard while Duke and Steph argued over who was dominating cornhole. Cass somehow beat everyone at water balloon dodgeball without saying more than three words. Tim sat under an umbrella with an iced coffee, claiming he was “socializing” despite staring at his laptop.
You were curled up beside Wally on a picnic blanket, stealing fries from his plate.
“I know you’re eating my food.”
“I’m quality checking it.”
“…You’ve taken twelve fries.”
“They passed inspection.”
He laughed, throwing an arm around your shoulders as fireworks popped somewhere across Gotham.
Then—
“EVERYBODY MOVE!”
Jason stormed into the driveway carrying an entire crate of fireworks.
Dick immediately looked concerned.
“…Jay.”
“No.”
“Jay.”
“I already know what you’re gonna say.”
“You haven’t even heard me.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
Jason ignored everyone and walked straight toward his motorcycle.
Your eyes widened.
“…Wally.”
“I know.”
“He’s not…”
“Oh, he’s absolutely doing what we think he’s doing.”
Jason pulled out enough zip ties to concern every person present.
Dick pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Jason.”
Zip.
“Jason.”
Zip.
“JASON.”
“I’m creating art.”
“YOU’RE CREATING A FELONY.”
Steph was already recording.
“This is going viral.”
Duke slowly backed away.
“I don’t think I should legally be here.”
Tim didn’t even look up.
“I’d like everyone to know I’ve already scheduled the emergency room in advance.”
Jason finished securing Roman candles along both sides of his motorcycle before stepping back proudly.
“There.”
“…Beautiful.”
Dick looked like he might cry.
“You strapped fireworks to your bike.”
“They’re aerodynamic.”
“They’re EXPLOSIVES.”
“They’re festive.”
Wally leaned over to whisper into your ear.
“I give him…thirty seconds.”
“Generous.”
Jason climbed onto the motorcycle like a cowboy preparing for battle.
“Who wants to witness greatness?”
“No one!” Dick shouted.
“I do!” Steph yelled.
Cass quietly gave him a thumbs up.
Damian crossed his arms.
“This is either the dumbest thing Todd has ever done…or the second dumbest.”
Jason started the engine.
The bike roared to life.
Everyone collectively took five giant steps backward.
Dick stood in front of him with both hands raised.
“You are not leaving this driveway.”
Jason revved the engine.
“Move.”
“No.”
“Move.”
“No.”
“…Chicken.”
Dick gasped dramatically.
“Did you just call Nightwing a chicken?”
“You heard me.”
Without warning—
FWOOOSH!
One Roman candle accidentally ignited.
A single green fireball shot harmlessly into the sky.
Everyone screamed.
Jason screamed.
Dick screamed louder.
Jason immediately slapped at the firework.
“THAT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN YET!”
Wally was laughing so hard he nearly rolled off the blanket.
You buried your face against his shoulder, unable to breathe from laughing.
Steph was doubled over.
“I GOT IT ON VIDEO!”
Tim finally looked away from his laptop.
“…I’m sending that to Barbara.”
Jason managed to rip the lit firework off before it could launch another shot.
He stared at the motorcycle.
“…Minor setback.”
Dick walked over, grabbed the remaining fireworks off the bike one by one, and handed them to Duke.
“No.”
Jason sighed dramatically.
“You people have no appreciation for innovation.”
“You almost turned yourself into a patriotic missile,” you said.
Jason pointed at you.
“…It would’ve been awesome.”
Wally snorted.
“I hate that he’s right.”
The rest of the night was significantly less explosive—mostly because Dick hid every remaining firework key, lighter, and zip tie he could find before Jason had another “brilliant” idea. Meanwhile, Steph’s video of Jason’s failed stunt became the highlight of the party, and every time someone replayed it, Jason insisted, “It would’ve worked if everyone had believed in me.”
happy 4th of July to those who celebrate, and i wanna address something
about two hours before i posted this, someone commented on one of my posts accusing me of using ai . so let me clear this up once and for all: i, @jungbaeisdead, do not use ai to write my posts. i have the receipts to prove it if it really comes to that. normally im pretty chill about this type of stuff because this stuff has happened to me at school but what i don’t appreciate is someone looking at my writing and immediately assuming it couldn’t have come from me. asking me what ai prompt i used wasn’t funny or clever—it was dismissive. it completely disregards the time, effort, and skill I put into my work. may the Lord up in heaven forbid i actually use the 96 i earned in my writing class to do something during my summer break. not every piece of writing that’s better than you expected is ai. sometimes people are just capable of writing well. i swear it’s always the devil may cry fans, i haven’t met anyone nice who likes that franchise. i will not be tagging the account that made the comment for their own privacy but trust that the comment is still out and in the open and if you’re reading this please learn some basic capitalization rules. now if excuse me i will be returning to my love island, good day and good night.