Jungkook is your brother’s stupidly hot best friend who has been around since you learned how to read and write. He has always known where the line is when it comes to you. The problem? You don’t.
PAIRING: brother’s bsf!jk x fem!reader
GENRE: smut w plot
WC: 13k
WARNINGS: biker!jk, brother!jaehyun (my fics mean nothing wo him), 3 year age gap, jealousy, reader’s a TEASE, she’s also so horny it’s stupid, don’t let the banner fool you it’s very summer in this, smut wise: uhh, they have sex on his bike, dry humphing (a lost art), m masturbation, riding, he has a thing for her tits, so he fucks her tits, BIG D JK AGENDA, dirty talk
NOTES: im aware this is long overdue but hear me out here!! this was going to be like 6k words max but things just…kept happening…anyways this is pure filth and self indulgence. i lost my mind after that fucking tiktok his slutty ass posted and ofc it led us here. i hope this satisfies your fantasies the way it did mine, enjoy <3
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Jeon Jungkook is so unbelievably hot.
Though it’s not the kind that makes your eyes linger and your heart flutter. No, it’s nothing like that. He is so ridiculously attractive it leaves your pussy aching, clenching so hard around nothing you wish it’s him you bounce on until sunset blurs into sunrise. You almost feel your muscles physically hurt by how he’s always so close yet so far away when the only thing you desire is for the space between you to become a rhythm and draw you in until distance doesn’t really exist anymore.
But that doesn’t happen, that never happens when it’s Jungkook.
He’s Jaehyun’s best friend– your older brother who loves you more than anything. Your brother who still babies you because you fell off your bike and broke your arm that one time when you were sixteen. Your brother who trusts Jungkook in that effortless, unquestioning way that only comes from years of knowing someone too well– because they’ve known each other since Jungkook knocked on your door when they were nine and you were six. He’d looked up at your parents with those big brown eyes of his and asked, so politely your mother still gushes about it at family gatherings, if he could play with your brother.
That was all it took for Jungkook to stay. You remember how at first, it started with the small things. His shoes left by the door like the spot had been assigned to him, his voice echoing through the walls so often it soon blended into the background…Those little moments stretched into something bigger and bigger before you could even notice. And suddenly, he was there for everything. Anywhere from holiday dinners to summer getaways, Jungkook was always there.
But he never gave you anything.
Jaehyun is the kind of brother who treats every man like a problem, like a timed bomb ticking in the corner, patiently waiting for the right time to blow up into flames. He’s the kind of brother who lectures you about never trusting a guy, the kind who would show up at his door with something burning behind his eyes and a fist ready to throw. Not asking for questions, not looking for answers.
If anything was to ever happen between you and Jungkook, Jaehyun wouldn’t just be mad. He’d fucking lose it.
So Jungkook has always kept his distance from you.
He makes sure it’s not anything obvious, but it’s never enough for you to not notice either. The way he never stands next to you for too long, the way his hands stay to himself even when it’s not convenient, the way he looks at you just enough to acknowledge your presence, yet never enough to let it mean anything. He has always been controlled around you, way beyond measure and annoying as hell.
Because you’ve seen him with other people. You’ve seen how he talks and how he laughs. He lets himself be less careful, less contained. Just more…him. And what bothers you the most isn’t that he ignores you, he never ignores you.
Jungkook does notice you. You know it, he knows it, he definitely knows you know it too. But what’s so infuriating is the fact that he actively chooses not to react, not to acknowledge anything that comes in his way from you. It’s like he’s decided long ago that whatever line existing between the two of you is one he’s never willing to cross. Which would be fine if he wasn’t so damn irresistible.
But he is.
And tonight, you’re a little more aware of it than usual. Maybe it’s the tight little dress that’s framing your body so well you had to twirl in front of the mirror more than once just to take it in, because it just looks that good. Or maybe, it’s something else entirely; one of those nights where whatever he usually holds so carefully contained inside sits a little closer to the surface than it normally does.
You don’t think too much of it as you step out of your room, walking down the hallway barefoot as you fix your earrings. A voice drifts away from the living room until it reaches your ears. You know the voice belongs to Jaehyun, he’s home, that’s not surprising. What’s surprising is that he’s not alone.
You round the corner with your mind elsewhere, the only thought lingering on your mind being whether the shade of your lipstick is a little too dark or not. You’re already halfway into whatever you were going to say when you briefly pause by the mirror to smooth down your dress.
“Hey, do you mind if–” You start, but you cut yourself off, because when you finally drift your eyes away from the hem of your skirt and lift them up, Jungkook’s reflection stares right back at you from behind.
He’s leaning back against the couch comfortably, legs spread wide like he’s been there for so long his body has melted and molded into the cushion. One of his arms is thrown over the backrest as the other is holding a can of beer he’s not really drinking from. Jaehyun isn’t there with him for some reason, probably whipping something up in the kitchen even though he can't cook to save his life.
And when you turn around to face him fully, there’s a beat where his eyes move over you, all the way from the very top of your head to the bottom of your feet. You swear his eyes linger for a second too long on your chest before he drops them down and lets his mind register you properly.
“Going somewhere?” He asks, one brow raised as he spreads his legs even further.
You nod once, pretending to be mindless and nonchalant about it. “Just for drinks with some friends.” Technically, you’re going out with a friend. But before you can even think of elaborating on that further, Jaehyun walks in. And that’s all it takes for Jungkook to look away like it doesn’t mean anything.
“Finally.” He scoffs before taking a large sip from his beer. “You take longer than anyone I know to get ready.”
It takes half a minute of consecutive swift blinking for you to drag your attention away from Jungkook and pull yourself back together. “Relax.” You mutter when you’ve recollected your senses, rolling your eyes. “You’re not even coming with me.”
“As if I’d want to.” He responds immediately. “I don’t want to deal with your friends.”
“Hey!” You exclaim, pulling your browns together. “You like my friends.”
“When they’re sober and quiet.” He corrects.
You huff out a laugh, stepping further into the room, grabbing your purse from the table. “Liar.”
“I never lie.” Jaehyun responds, making his way over to the couch before dropping himself down next to Jungkook. You shake your head with a light scoff, barely listening anymore, because Jungkook’s gaze is fixed on you once again and you don’t know if you can continue holding up this stupid act of nonchalance if he doesn’t tear his eyes away from you soon enough.
“Text me when you get there.” Jaehyun reminds you for the third time today, and you nod along halfheartedly, checking your purse one last time for good measure.
“Yeah, okay. Promise.”
“You better.” He mutters.
You sling your bag over your shoulder, turning slightly just to sneak one last look at the man who’s managed to get your pussy tingling with so much as one look and two careless words. But when your gaze finds him and you realize he’s still looking at you, you think that maybe, he isn’t as untouchable as he makes it out to be.
He shifts under your presence, like your eyes weren’t something he expected to land a certain way yet did anyway, setting his drink down on the table as you move past him. The motion brings you close just enough, and his hand brushes against yours in passing. It’s light and fleeting, the kind of contact that normally would be dismissed in seconds. But you feel it all too clearly, so much that even after he pulls away, his fingertips linger on your skin in a way that burns until it leaves a permanent trace.
Because he doesn’t pull away immediately, not fast enough like he usually does. There’s a fraction of a second where his fingers stay there before he retracts like he remembered it a little too late.
And when you finally leave, Jungkook finds himself drowned inside the drunken haze of your sweet scent and the warmth of your presence– so strong that he physically feels the way it’s begging for him to follow.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
The place Jaemin picked is one of those upscale cocktail bars where the wine is just so mediocre you’re forced to order overpriced cocktails instead. The lighting is warm and dim, because it always is in places like this– casting everything in a golden glow so that the glint makes it easier to ignore what doesn’t quite live up to the price tag. It’s busy just the way you like, filled with enough people to feel alive without being crowded.
Jaemin is already there by the time you reach the table that's reserved for you, leaning back into his seat like the air around him bends so intently that the place belongs to him. His legs are spread just a little wider than what’s acceptable, and the drink in his hand swings lazily from side to side like it’s been there for long with the sole purpose of giving him something to fidget with.
He smirks immediately when you walk in. “There she is.” He sings, dragging his gaze over you before continuing. “You look…happy.” He says, cocking a brow like he’s questioning his own choice of words.
You slide into the seat across from him, setting your bag onto the one next to you. “When am I not happy?”
“This is like, when your hot friend from statistics called me cute, kind of happy.”
You scoff, reaching for the menu before letting your eyes scan through the list of beverages. “You threw a chair and got banned from the cafe you took her to.”
Jaemin rolls his eyes. “I moved a chair.”
“You threw it and it hit someone’s leg.”
He pauses. “Not the point.”
You giggle, placing the menu back onto the table. “Exactly the point, she got back together with her ex two days after your date.”
He watches you for a second, then shakes his head. “God, you’re exhausting.”
“And,” You start, dragging the word. “You still text me every day.”
“What can I say, you’re a part of my routine.” Jaemin winks at you before turning his head to call over a waiter. When he comes by, you order a cocktail too pink to be taken seriously, and Jaemin asks for a kind of whiskey you’re sure tastes even worse than its name. Because no one really enjoys whiskey, it’s just for show. A whole performance created by men trying to match up to their fragile egos. Not that you're saying Jaemin fits the profile.
He leans forward when the waiter walks away. “Alright.” He says. “What did you do?”
You tilt your head, pretending to think. “I didn’t exactly do something.”
He gives you an unimpressed look. “And you expect me to believe that?”
“Yes!” You exclaim. “I really didn’t do anything. He just…slipped.”
“Who?” He pulls his brows together. “Don’t tell me this is about Jungkook again.”
You lean back into your seat, unable to help the mischievous smile spreading across your face. Jaemin groans when it clicks, realizing exactly what you’re talking about. “No he didn’t.” He says matter of factly.
You met Jaemin your freshman year of high school, and you slipped in each other’s spaces so easily you don’t even remember how. Just that by the time it mattered, he was already there. In your messages at ungodly hours, in the best parts of your worst days, in the middle of things he had no reason to involve himself in but did anyway.
And at some point, without either of you really saying it out loud, you built something strong enough to stay and fight for.
So naturally, Jaemin knows Jungkook. How he moves, how he talks, how careful he is without making it obvious— only when it comes to you. He knows the version of him that exists around your brother; easy, controlled, and distant just enough to never cause any problems.
So when you say that Jungkook slipped, he knows exactly what you mean, even though he would never grant you the pleasure of being right. But most importantly, he knows that if you're bringing it up like this, something has actually shifted.
“He did.” You say without an ounce of hesitation. “He looked at me like he…forgot everything. Like there was a feeling he’d been suppressing and he forgot why for a second." You pause, sipping your drink. "And!" You exclaim like you forgot to add something so crucial. "His hand brushed mine and he didn't pull away." You argue.
Jaemin sinks deeper into his seat. “Can we please move on from that man? Jungkook doesn’t slip, that’s literally his thing. I can set you up with Mark, if you want. Saw his dick once in the lockers and let me tell you, he’s huge.”
Your lips pull into a pout. “I don’t want Mark, I want Jungkook.”
Jaemin exhales through his nose before taking a large gulp from his drink. “Let’s say you’re right, Jaehyun would fucking kill you.”
You shrug, mindlessly tracing your nail along the rim of your glass. “We’ll figure that out, I just wanna see how far it goes. What it takes for him to lose control."
“You’ve liked him way too long for this to end well.”
You scoff. “I do not like him.”
Jaemin deadpans. “You used to sit on the stairs just to watch him and your brother play video games.”
“That's because I wanted to hop on his bones.” You argue.
He lifts a brow accusingly. “When you were fifteen?”
You pause for a second, tongue poking the inside of your cheek as you watch over your friend. “Fuck you.” You mutter under your breath.
You breathe again before leaning forward slightly, lowering your voice just enough. “You’ve seen him, Jaemin. He’s always so– so put together. Like nothing touches and sticks to him enough.”
“Yeah.” Jaemin nods. “Because he’s not stupid.”
The corner of your mouth twitches. “And it’s my duty to fuck up his morals.”
He exhales sharply, shaking his head. “You’re gonna drag me into this, aren’t you?”
“You’re already in it." You smile at him innocently, bating your eyelashes. “You’re gonna sit next to me and look pretty."
“Wow, the way you love me.”
You wink at him, sipping your drink and letting the bitter taste of alcohol burn in your mouth. "Always."
“God,” He mutters. “You’re gonna fuck this up.”
Your lips twitch. “I’ll snap you a pic when he spreads his legs for me.”
“Please don’t.”
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
The opportunity presents itself on a silver platter.
You’d be stupid to not take it. Not when you’ve gotten him somewhere hot, wet and messy without even meaning to, as if the universe already knows exactly what you’re about to do with it.
You're stretched out on one of the chez-longs by the pool, body wrapped in the tiniest set of white bikinis in your wardrobe. That was definitely a lucky guess— a hot one to say the least. You're laying on your stomach with a book resting open in your hands with the sole purpose of being there, because you've read no more than two or five pages during the whole hour you spent here.
You had set the day aside and spared it for yourself— silenced your phone, shut everyone out, forced your mind into a kind of quiet that had no way out unless you tried hard enough. You had cleared everything until there was nothing to think about, nothing pulling at you from somewhere with something you didn't choose.
But it doesn't last.
The sliding door cuts through the quiet when you expect it the least, and when it opens, it brings Jaehyun with it. He walks in a way that's loud, careless, and already mid conversation with a couple of his friends trailing behind him.
And Jungkook too, of course.
You lower your book, push yourself onto your elbows, and then lift your sunglasses up into your hair. The exasperated breath you huff out goes unnoticed by both your brother, and his ridiculously loud friends as their voices swallow it up without wasting a second.
"Wow," You mutter, tilting your head to take a look at them. "Great."
Jaehyun spots you immediately. “Oh, you’re here.”
You scrunch your face a little, blinking up at him, shielding your face from the sun with a help of your hand even though it doesn't exactly work wonders. “I live here.”
“Right.” He says mindlessly. “Didn’t think you’d be outside.”
You scoff. “Clearly.”
After your exchange, Jaehyun walks over the lounge chairs across from you, tossing his towel onto one of them like there isn't enough for everyone and they're something to call dibs on. When in reality, they aren't. One of his friends, one you only vaguely recognize, blows out a low whistle as he walks by.
"Damn," He says, not even trying to be subtle about it. "Didn't know he had a sister like that."
Luckily, Jaehyun doesn't hear it, too busy arguing with Mingyu about sunscreen brands like either of them know what they're talking about.
But Jungkook does.
His head turns— maybe not immediately, maybe you're giving yourself too much credit and your imagination has started playing games on you— but you swear it does. His eyes narrow at his friend for a second too long before landing on you. And this time, you're sure there's something there. You're sure that if you were exaggerating and reading too much into every small detail last week, you aren't now.
His eyes linger on you as the oil you had put on catches the sunlight in a way that's impossible to ignore. The soft sheen traces every line and every curve of your body, shifting with movement until it reflects straight into his eyes.
Jungkook really doesn't mean to look. But the way the light hits your body— which he swears is literally the epitome of beauty— pulls in his attention without asking for permission. Suddenly, he's seeing too much and the tent in his shorts is growing and growing until the fabric tightens around his length and he can't bear doing nothing about it.
Though what really gets him isn't only how good you look— because that has always been a problem. It's how you exist in it so easily, so comfortable in the artwork dressed as your body. As his gaze dances over you, his head keeps spinning and spinning and suddenly, words he can never say out loud build at the tip of his tongue.
You're a fucking temptation.
You’re in the middle of flipping a page you haven’t been reading when his voice cuts in. “Didn’t know you’d be here.”
You glance up again. “And I didn’t know you were coming over.”
He shrugs. “Jaehyun asked.”
You nod slowly, pursing your lips. “I figured.”
There’s a beat filled with silence, one that stretches a little too long, one that leads you to realize he won’t be the first one to break it. So you turn over and sit up fully, setting your book aside. “Are you gonna get in or keep standing there?” You ask lightly.
But it takes him longer than a minute to hear the question. Because as you sit up and your front faces him, Jungkook feels the air knocking out of his lungs.
Your tits.
They sit so round and perky under the thin fabric of your bikini top. The white colour extenuates the soft swell of your boobs perfectly and Jungkook can't help but wonder what else would paint them white like this. As if things couldn't get worse for him, your tits bounce slightly when you move, and Jungkook fucking loses it.
He huffs a quiet breath in hopes of masking the ethical dilemma he's got going on inside. “Don’t really feel like it.”
You hum softly, dragging your gaze over him. “Well,” You start. “That’s too bad.”
His brows pull together. “Why?”
You give him a calculated smile, letting the moment sink in before answering. “You’d be fun to watch.”
You see the way your words land immediately– that almost-reaction he covers before it reaches too far. “Yeah?” He says, voice lower now, unable to help himself. “You watch everyone like that?”
You shrug. “Only the ones nice to look at.”
He huffs out a soft scoff under his breath before reaching for the hem of his shirt, then pulls it off in one swift motion. You try to keep your expression neutral. And you swear, you really do. But when he looks like that, it’s impossible.
Because Jungkook looks ridiculous like this, chest toned and bare and so fucking hot. He looks like someone who jumped out of your dirtiest fantasies and landed straight in your aching pussy. Your muscles grow sore despite having laid down all morning and you have to physically stop yourself from drooling and licking along the lines framing his abs.
At the end of the day, you're just a girl who knows what she likes. Sue you.
You exhale softly through your nose, shaking your head mindlessly like it doesn’t matter, like you don’t want to jump and bounce on him until his shape is permanently engraved in you. “Real subtle.”
He glances at you, cocking a brow. “You asked.”
You tilt your head. “I wouldn’t say asked is the correct word.”
“You’re welcome anyway.” He says, tossing his shirt beside you.
You laugh, pushing yourself up from the sunbed. “You’re so annoying.” So annoyingly hot.
When you’re finally standing, he’s so close you don’t hear whatever bullshit Jaehyun yells from the pool. Shut up, brother. Your girl is standing on business.
You step forward towards the edge of the pool when the lack of distance starts feeling like you want to drop down to your knees and take him into your mouth until he's whining and crying. Because it's one thing to be aware of his presence, but a whole another thing to feel the warmth of him sizzling through your bones.
You crouch down, dragging your hand along the water. "You getting in?" You ask, glancing up at him.
Jungkook lets out a breathy chuckle, gives you one final look, and before you know it, he's jumping straight into the pool. Water rises fast the moment his body drops in, splashing and hitting your skin in cool droplets.
Jungkook shakes his head, dragging a hand over his face. "Happy?" He asks, looking at you behind wet curls as he brushes them away from his face.
Oh the sight he is.
You tilt your head, looking down at him as you narrow your eyes teasingly. “A little.”
Before you can move, his hand catches your wrist and pulls you forward. You lose your balance and a sharp splash cuts through your body, skin burning with the unexpected hit. And suddenly, all you can feel is the cold chill of water rushing up your spine mixed with the warmth of his body.
Shit.
When you open your eyes, you realize you're fully pressed against him. Your arms instinctively wrap around his shoulders and your legs around his waist before you have the chance to realize what's happening.
For a second, it's like the earth stops rotating— like it forgets to revolve around the sun and time forgets to move along with it. The water ripples slowly until it calms down, the noise around you fading into something so distant and irrelevant. Because right now, all you can feel is him. The way his broad chest sits solid against your soft boobs and the warm touch of him on your skin that's suddenly everywhere.
Jungkook goes completely still the exact way you do, like he didn't expect this either yet can't bring himself to do anything rational about it. The rush keeps you away from registering his hold around your thighs until he shifts slightly, securing your place in his arms.
Your faces are so close that his breath is hitting your skin in that warm, intimate kind of way you don’t share with just anyone. But the intimacy slips over your head just like that and all you can focus on is the way his hardened length presses against you beneath the water.
“Fuck.” It slips under his breath, barely audible even for you considering the lack of distance between you and him. But of course, you hear it. You'd be a fool to miss a slip like that, because you'd notice that kind of desperation from a mile away
He pulls back abruptly, like the warmth becomes too much and suffocates him all at once, so much that he can't feel oxygen reaching his lungs anymore. Distance folds itself into something necessary for him to function properly again, and just like that, your arms slip away and your legs drop back into the water.
Then you give him a smile, teasing and knowing, like this was all you needed to have him all bare and figured out in the middle of your palm. "This is new." You murmur. "You're getting reckless."
His jaw tightens. “I’m not.”
“You just pulled me into the pool.” You say, crossing your arms over your chest.
“You were standing too close.”
You laugh softly. “That’s your excuse?”
“It’s the truth.”
You tilt your head to study him with a little more care. The way he's been holding onto the tension between you like his life depends on it just so that it doesn't crack, the way restraint sits so uncomfortably on his face even though he has no choice but to keep it together a little longer— it's all a bit more clear now.
"Right." You say lightly, then turn away like nothing about what just happened is worth digging further. But on the inside, you're already thinking about the phone call you'll have with Jaemin. Because you were right from the start, that wasn't nothing, not even close.
You just got what you wanted.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Jaehyun absolutely loves Jaemin. He just won't ever say it like that.
It shows in other ways— been there since the day you came home all giddy and giggly, talking too fast about the first ever friend you made in high school, barely able to get his name out properly out of excitement. Jaehyun remembers it anyway. He remembers the day you said Jaemin like it already meant something, like the way the letters rolled out of your tongue was enough to know he was going to stay.
He didn't question it then, he doesn't question it now.
So when Jaemin shows up unannounced at your door and lets himself in without asking, Jaehyun doesn't tell him to leave. He complains with a roll of his eyes, but offers him a can of beer anyway. Because accommodating an uninvited Jaemin has become a given way too long ago.
Jaemin exists in the space the same way Jungkook does, even though he slipped into it a few years later, like they both carved out a place for themselves in the dearest corners of your lives and never really left.
The difference is, Jaemin doesn't really have to keep his distance.
After inviting himself inside, he stretches across your couch, fetches the drink straight out of Jaehyun's hand before your brother gets to offer it properly, then reaches for you absentmindedly the way he always does.
Jaehyun notices it sometimes, just enough to be bothered by it. He isn't exactly a fan of seeing a man touch you like that, even if it's Jaemin. He rolls his eyes, tells him to stop being annoying, but Jaemin just nods along with that loose, careless grin; pulling you closer regardless.
You lean into him just enough to make things worse for your brother, your shoulder pressing into his chest as you reach past him for the small bowl of nuts Jaehyun was about to hand you, until Jaemin beats you to it.
"Can you not steal everything that's mine?" Jaehyun mutters. Already huffing, already annoyed.
Jaemin doesn't even look at him, stuffing his mouth with a handful of peanuts. "Relax. You were literally handing it out."
Jaehyun deadpans. "Well, not to you."
You laugh, grabbing a few of the almonds. "You're both insufferable."
"You're one to talk." Jaehyun shoots back immediately. "You encourage him."
"I don't encourage him." You argue, but the lack of distance between you and your friend is still questionable.
Jaemin glances down at you, eyes grazing over your bare legs draped across his lap before lifting a brow. "You definitely do."
You tilt your head, meeting his gaze with narrowed eyes. "You're very impressionable, that's not my fault."
"I'm not impressionable."
"You walked in uninvited and stole a drink in under thirty seconds."
"Eh," He squints his eyes, pretending to think. "You offered it though."
"So you wouldn't have gone ahead and taken one if he didn't?" You ask, cocking a brow.
Jaehyun points at him in victory, ecstatic at the newfound support from you. "Exactly."
Jaemin ignores him completely and turns to you, his arm still draped over your shoulders. "You weren't complaining five minutes ago."
"Suddenly I'm feeling a little wiser."
Jaemin rolls his eyes. "No, you're not."
You pause mid sip like you're considering putting up a fight, but you change your mind as you gulp down the drink, dropping your shoulders. "Fine, I'm not."
Jaehyun exhales sharply, dragging a hand along his face like he's already exhausted. "See, this is exactly what I mean. You two are unbearable together."
"You're the one who keeps letting him in." You say lightly.
"I don't let him in." He argues. "He just shows up."
"You'd shut the door in my face if you wanted to." Jaemin says.
"You'd climb in through the window."
Jaemin nods with a serious look on his face, like what he's agreeing to is a reasonable solution. "Yeah, I would."
You're still laughing when the bell rings, and Jaehyun mutters a quiet finally under his breath as he pushes himself up from the couch. Jungkook and Mingyu walk in one behind the other, Jaehyun holding the door open by the corner.
"Took you long enough." He complains, unimpressed.
Mingyu scoffs lightly. "We're not late."
"You always are. I'm the only one with a sense of urgency here."
Mingyu doesn't argue further, he heads straight for the kitchen instead. As he's busy opening and closing cabinets one by one like he owns like place, Jungkook lingers a little longer at the entrance before following Jaehyun inside.
He looks good, he looks so fucking good it takes everything in you to not spread your legs right then and there. So you lean more into Jaemin, letting your skirt ride up with the movement. Because you'll get this man in your bed one way or the other and right now, there's nothing you can do besides rile him up a little and pray your brother doesn't notice.
He does.
Jaehyun's eyes flick between the two of you before he looks away again, jaw clenching just slightly. "Can you sit normally for once?"
But you don't move. You can't move when Jungkook's already looking at you like he's trying so hard not to slip. Not again. "Are we not sitting normally?" You ask, glancing down at yourself, pretending to be confused.
"No." He says flatly.
Jaemin shifts just enough to make it worse, his arm tightening around you even though it's completely unnecessary. "Feels pretty normal to me."
"That's because you're the problem."
You hum softly, clearly entertained now. "I think you're overreacting."
Jaemin nudges you with his elbow. "He's jealous."
"I'm not jealous of you."
"Wow." Jaemin says as he brings a hand to his chest, pretending to be offended. "That hurt."
Mingyu laughs from the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his drink in hand. "He's definitely jealous."
“I’m not jealous.” Jaehyun repeats, louder this time.
Mingyu shrugs as he drops onto the singular couch beside him. “Sounds like it.”
You laugh again, and it still sounds light and careless. But it doesn't really feel like it. Not when you can feel Jungkook's eyes digging holes into your exposed skin, like he's trying to do with his eyes what he can't with anything else. Because neither one of his fists have the privilege of breaking Jaemin's jaw right now.
He's not even trying to hide it now. Maybe because something bigger already slipped last week and there is no point in trying to recollect it back together, or maybe because Jaehyun has fallen into another pointless argument with Mingyu and a small glace or two won't hurt anybody. Doesn't really matter when he keeps giving you exactly what you're looking for.
Regardless, you're adamant on not giving in. You're a girl on a mission and you're going to compromise it for nothing.
So you shift closer, letting your hand slide further along Jaemin's arm before curling your fingers around his bicep like there's no other place you'd rather it be. Like this is nothing new, nothing worth paying attention to.
But it is.
Jungkook's eyes drop down to your legs— bare and unapologetic on Jaemin's lap. He lets them linger on the poor excuse of a skirt that's sitting uselessly on your hips, and then trails lines along your exposed legs all the way to the tip of your feet.
You don't have to look up to know he's watching, but you do anyway, just to see the way he's starting to break. Because this time, there's nothing careful about the way he's looking at you. The control is still there, but he's holding onto it for his dear life— barely.
The conversation around you keeps moving in a way that's constant and habitual— Jaehyun complaining, Mingyu laughing, Jaemin saying something in your ear you don't fully catch…Everything is safe and practiced.
Besides him.
Jeon Jungkook is not safe. God, he’s terrifying. Terrifyingly sexy and thoroughly unsafe.
You reach for your drink, take a slow sip, then set it back down like you've suddenly lost all interest and nothing is as entertaining anymore. "I'll be back." You say, pushing yourself up from the couch before anyone can question you about it.
"Don't disappear." Jaehyun mutters mid-conversation, barely glancing at you.
You hum something about him asking too for many things at once before turning away, making your way out of the living room fast so that no one has the chance to hold you there longer.
You take your sweet time walking down the hallway, hips swaying from side to side just in case a certain someone decides to follow behind. But you know he will, so you don't look back. Luckily, life smiles at you for another day and the sound of a second set of footsteps reaches you in no time.
The corner of your mouth lifts in satisfaction as you reach the bathroom door, letting your hand linger on the handle for half a second too long before pushing it open, like you're giving him time to catch up.
You don't bother closing the door, leaving it open as Jungkook steps in a beat or two after you, not forgetting to lock it after him.
"Stop it." He mutters finally, voice low and rough like he doesn't fully trust it to come out louder without giving something away.
Too bad he already has.
You tilt your head, looking up at him like you don't quite understand what he's talking about, lashes fluttering innocently even though you're far from it. "Stop what?"
When your gazes meet, it's like his eyes are whispering to you, telling you to come closer and let yourself melt into his touch until your breath is completely blown away. But instead of doing anything about it, instead of tugging you closer into him and ending this stupid game that has left both of you aching and soaring; he drags a hand down his face and does everything in his power to pull himself back into the control he had once mastered.
"You know what." He says, exhaling sharply through his nose.
You take a step closer, fed up with the distance he's forced you into. "I wanna hear you say it."
His jaw tightens as he looks at you, trying to figure out how far you're willing to take it. "You've been pushing this all night."
"Well then, let me remind you." You murmur, stepping even closer, until there's barely any space left between the two of you. "You followed me." You say, placing your index finger on his chest.
Your words land a certain way, you watch his reaction all the way through its birth and death. In the way his breath stutters audibly, in the way his eyes flick briefly down to your lips, in the way something between light and lust flashes across his features before he can lock it back down again.
He scoffs as his eyes drift away from yours. "You're out of your mind."
You shrug mindlessly, like nothing about this is as serious as he makes it out to be. "I've been told once. Or twice." You give him a smile, light and flirty.
He drops down his hand, then snaps his head towards you like he suddenly remembered something. "Do you think this is funny?" He asks,
You let your gaze drag over him slowly, completely unapologetic, taking your time with it before meeting his eyes.
"I think it's hot."
And you're met with silence. Oh, Jeon Jungkook, the fucking pussy you are.
That does it, you see it the second it lands, the second that suppressed urge in him slips past the point of recovery. It's still there— but thinner, frying, barely holding on. Like it's waiting for someone to cross the line first and it sure as hell won't be him.
So you do.
You close the space completely this time, your hand finding him again until it settles on his shirt and fists the fabric enough to pull him in. You're not testing the waters, not anymore. Everything is visible no matter how hard he's trying to pull it through and you're not going to let him slip past your fingertips when you've gotten him like this.
Jungkook inhales sharply, quick and uneven, like air catches in the middle of his chest before he can do anything about it. His hand moves instinctively, and just as you think he's going to push your hand away, he settles his hold on your waist.
He calls your name, voice dropping in a way that's raw and desperate. His body goes rigid as his brain tries being reasonable one last time, but he fails terribly, miserably.
Your hands trail along his chest, traveling down until you decide to let them settle on his waist. Your hands don't rush him, they move like you've already decided how this ends on his part. Your fingers slip just past the waistband of his jeans, but still not fully, tugging with his belt.
"Fuck." He mutters under his breath as your hips hit his roughly, head falling back beyond his control.
Jungkook just stands there and takes it, lets it happen, lets you happen.
That's what gives him away. He doesn't grab your wrists, doesn't step back, doesn't do anything he should be doing. So with the newfound confidence, you sink down to your knees, slow enough that each passing second aches and tortures and stings his skin until it burns and leaves your trace.
He freezes.
His body hasn't caught up to what's happening yet, even though you're taking your sweet time to make sure every second of your touch registers to the point where it's lingering and all he sees and feels is you when he closes his eyes.
No matter how bad you're trying to let him keep up, he feels as though his brain has stopped working long ago and parked itself outside of the constellation named his fucking morals.
"You still there, Jungkook?" You ask looking up at him, voice low and sultry, bating your eyelashes with feigned innocence. As if you aren't his best friend's little sister who's about to suck the life out of him.
He's barely able to get out a reply and you're already pulling his jeans down. You fiddle with the waistband of his boxers, then move along to palm him over the fabric. Jungkook sucks in a sharp breath, hands finding their way to your hair like he's trying to ground himself.
You give a squeeze to his base, hard and thick just like you expected. You're sure whatever he's hiding inside is even better than your imagination, but there's still a minute or two before you can figure that out.
"Ah, fuck, yes—" Jungkook breathes, almost stuttering, completely lost in a daze. "Keep going." He says as his hold tightens in your hair, locks tangling between his fingertips as he tries steadying himself. You slowly drag your hand over to his tip, flicking your index finger somewhere over his slit before moving it back down. You're about to pull down his boxers and then—
A knock.
Jaehyun calls out your name from the other side of the door, and the sound reaches your ears in an instant, forcing you out of whatever fantasy you've lost yourselves in. It's so sudden that Jungkook jerks, his hold on you slipping away as panic flashes across his features. But you? You don't even move.
"Give me a second!" You call back with a voice so impressively steady even Jungkook believes you're alone for a second.
Jungkook exhales like he's just been dropped back into a body he hasn't been in for years, fists closing and opening by his sides like he doesn't know what to do with his hands anymore. But what gets him— what gets him the most is how calm and unbothered you look, like you didn't just bury his body and bring it back to life in under a minute.
Jaehyun calls your name again. "Be quick, seriously."
But you're still not rushing, still not scrambling. Hell, you're not even shifting the way anyone else would in this situation— enter Jungkook. You just tilt your head slightly as you slowly rise back up to your feel, like you're mildly inconvenienced at best.
"I said give me a second!" You reply, and Jungkook watches over you like you're insane. Because you don't look panicked, you don't look caught, you don't look half he's feeling right now.
You look…fine.
He doesn't like that.
Right when Jungkook was considering running the bath and drowning himself in boiling water, another door opens.
"You can use this one." Jaemin says casually, thoroughly aware of whatever stunt you're pulling unlike your brother. Jaehyun mutters something under his breath, a few curse words and complaints about how annoying you are, but he's already moving.
It's silent again when the door locks shut, and Jungkook exhales like he has been holding the entire universe in his lungs. "Jesus—" He runs a hand down his face, shaking his head like he's trying to rid himself of everything but it doesn't work. "What the fuck was that?"
You melt into every second in a whole minute, smoothing your skirt down, fixing your lipstick, running a hand along your hair like those are the only things that need a fixing and nothing about this requires any urgency.
You look at him, completely calm. "What?" You ask lightly, not even making an effort to look at him, glancing at his face from its reflection through the mirror.
His jaw tightens. "You have no idea what game you're playing and it's a problem."
You finally turn to look at him, then glance down to his crotch before lifting your eyes back up, the corners of your mouth lifting. "I think you've got a bigger problem going on." You say, then walk through the door just like that.
Just like that.
Jungkook is losing his fucking mind.
He hates you, he hates you so goddamn much right now. He hated you that day by the pool when you were in that stupid little bikini, hated you when you had your perfect legs over some boy's lap— God, he really is just some boy. What the fuck is a Jaemin? He swears he's so much hotter and bigger and sexier but he can't even try and make himself feel better now that his pants are tightening and his cock is aching.
He knows he's got a bigger problem going on, he didn't need you to say it, he doesn't want to hear you say anything at this point. Because it seems as though he has the self restraint of a fucking rabbit and his dick gets hard with so much as your breathing.
Jungkook is the boy here. He knows he is. There is nothing left for him to do besides hoping you don't. But god, he's desperate. He can't help but think about the what ifs. What if Jaehyun didn't knock, what if you actually pulled down his boxers and took him in your sweet little mouth. He'd give anything right now. Anything to see your mouth full with his cock, stuffed to the brim. He'd do anything for you to fold beneath him and do as he says, he'd bend you over this stupid counter and take you right fucking here. He'd fuck you so good you'd never be able to walk properly again. He'd put you in your place and shut that sweet mouth of yours forever.
But he can't. He knows he can't. So he does the second most stupid he can do today— the first being letting you take him in your mouth. He pulls his jeans back down after making sure the door is locked again, then frees his cock out of the fabric that has been suffocating him since the moment he laid his eyes on you today.
He starts stroking himself after spreading the precum over his tip, then lets his hand run down his aching length. He's so horny it's stupid. He can't believe a girl he has known since he was nine has gotten his dick rock hard with so much as a few reckless words and light, taunting touches. But who the fuck is he kidding? This isn't the first time he's thought about you like this, not the first time he's caught himself a way the shouldn't have.
He's just been better at hiding it before.
He had always been the version of himself that knows where the line is and doesn't even think about crossing it. Because for the longest time, you had a single purpose, a single title in his life— Jaehyun's little sister. A kid who used to hover around the edges of everything she had no part in, who'd sit too close and talk too much even when she didn't have to. There was never a reason to think about it longer than necessary.
Until you made it impossible to ignore.
It didn't happen all at once, not in a way he could point to and say this is where it changed. It just…happened. You stopped asking to be included, stopped looking at him like he was someone above and untouchable. You built your own life, your own circle, yourself.
And somewhere in the middle of all of that, he started noticing things. The way you carried yourself differently, the way your voice grew into something low and sultry, the way you started looking at people with eyes that knew exactly what you were doing, thoroughly aware of the effect you had.
So as he keeps dragging a hand along his length, he thinks about every time you'd bent over in front of him with a skirt way too short to be acceptable, every time you'd given him those eyes while asking for things as simple as a glass of water, every time you'd call a man late at night thinking your voice couldn't be heard when he'd lose hours of sleep over it— he thinks about it all.
He cums with a breathy trail of moans and your name on his tongue, body shaking with the intensity of his orgasm. And as he struggles to find the line between his imagination and the reality, he realizes that the worst part about what he has done today isn't Jaehyun or the post nut clarity.
It's that he wants more.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
The club is brazen without trying to be subtle about it. It's the kind of atmosphere that doesn't prepare you for the worst before settling deep into your skin, right in the middle of something you can't erase no matter how hard you try scrubbing it off, because the agitation is just that heavy. The lights hang low, glowing in a distant hue that's maybe a little too deliberate for a club like this. The air is thick and full without being suffocating, but it's lived in. Like it's been used over and over again and simply refuses to empty out, carrying the remnants of conversations, the cluttered echo of laughter, and things that are said too loud yet meant too lightly.
You're not sure if it was the best pick for a birthday night out, but who are you to say anything— you wouldn't be here without Jaehyun anyway. Not that you want to leave, but the party doesn't matter all that much either. Although you do like Haneul— one of Jaehyun's college friends who also became yours overtime— she's sweet in a way that's safe and makes it easy to forget she's the center of attention tonight.
The music is starting to feel too loud and it feels as if the club is getting smaller and smaller as time goes on, but it's still a little early to leave, at least by yourself. Because leaving alone would mean you aren't enjoying yourself and staying long enough keeps everything in place, keeps you exactly where you need to be without drawing attention to the fact that your mind has been completely elsewhere for the entirety of the night.
Jungkook has been avoiding you. Definitely, irreproachably, unmistakeably.
You've been in this club for three hours now, with your body pressed against the crowd in a way that doesn't allow distance to exist, caught between people who move like proximity is a choice rather than an inconvenience, and still— Jungkook hasn't looked at you properly. Not even once.
Jaehyun finds you sometime around the final minutes of your fourth hour here, fully drunk now as if he hasn't been halfway gone for the majority of his time here. His words are looser, his voice is louder, and his arm is slinging around your shoulder like everything about his balance depends on you.
"There you are." He sings, stretching the words sloppily. "I'm done."
You laugh, head tipping back in his arms. "You've been done for like, what? An hour now?" You tell him, steadying the drink in his hand before it spills.
"I mean it this time." He leans into you, then immediately leans away like something far more interesting suddenly caught his attention. "I'm leaving— or, no. I'm staying. I don't know."
"That sounds about right."
He exhales dramatically, then glances over your shoulder until he spots what he was looking for. "Jungkook!" He shouts over the music.
Jungkook turns his head slightly before fully facing your brother, then moves towards you like rejecting was never really an option.
"Can you take her home?" Jaehyun asks, placing a hand on the small of your back. But it doesn't sound like a question, it sounds like a decision that's already been made before it even reached Jungkook.
"You are." Jaehyun cuts him off, waving it away like the argument doesn't exist, doesn't matter. "I'll stay a bit longer, or all night, just— make sure she gets home safe, please."
Your eyes wander away to Jungkook, because watching him is far more interesting than dealing with your drunk brother. There's a pause before he exhales through his nose, a beat that's enough to feel like he's weighing something in his head, like there is a version of this he so badly wants to refuse but knows he can't— knows he won't.
"Fine." He says finally, not exactly willing.
Jaehyun grins, satisfied with the outcome even though he won't remember achieving it by the time he wakes up. He disappears into the crowd after patting Jungkook on the shoulder, leaving the two of you standing in a space that suddenly feels quiet despite being the complete opposite.
Jungkook walks alongside you in silence as you make your way out of the club, his pace controlled and calculated like that's the only thing he's concentrating on right now. The music gets swallowed up by a wave of soft wind and the distant hum of the city when you step outside, fading slowly as you get further and further away from the club.
You glance at him as you walk, trailing your eyes along the sharp line of his jaw beneath the warm glow of the streetlights. He's dressed too nicely for the bike waiting at the curb, painted in dark clothes and silver rings along with the kind of face that makes people stop and turn their heads twice without even realizing they're doing it. For a short second, you wonder if he knows how unfair he looks tonight. But jokes on you, he probably does.
Because Jeon Jungkook is one cocky bastard, even though he doesn't show it a lot.
"You could've said no, you know." You say lightly when you reach the bike. "If it's impossible for you to be alone with me without glaring like you want me dead."
Jungkook exhales through his nose, pulling the spare helmet from the handle and holding it out to you before responding eventually. "I would've said no if i wanted to."
You look down to the helmet, crossing your arms on your chest."You can act a little less miserable, then."
His jaw tightens slightly at that, like he's annoyed with both you and himself. "Put the helmet on." He says, ignoring your claim.
You roll your eyes, but take it from him anyway, not forgetting to let your fingers brush against his on purpose. He shifts under your touch, shoulders tensing beneath his jacket. You're sure he notices the way you're doing it on purpose too, but prefers not to comment on it. Not yet, at least.
"You're quiet tonight." You say, slipping the helmet on.
"You talk enough for the both of us."
"That's not true. You talk plenty when you're…engaged." You say slowly, dragging your gaze over him before settling them back on his face. Jungkook looks at you properly for the first time tonight, and he makes sure to look at you with purpose. Enough to let you know he's still thinking about it too.
The bathroom, everything you did that day, everything he did after you left. Not a single second of it has left his mind ever since.
"Get on the bike." He says, tongue poking the inside of cheek before he speaks.
You do, but you do it so slowly Jungkook thinks he wants to dig his grave right then and there. You place your hands on his shoulders before sliding them over his chest as you move behind him, taking your time in a way that feels cruel. By the time you finally sit, there's barely any space between your bodes. Your knees press against his thighs, your arms wrap around his waist, and your chest leans onto his back.
"You know," You murmur near his ear, and it takes so much in him to not go still at the lingering heat of your breath. "For someone who keeps telling me to stop, you never actually do anything."
His grip tightens around the handles. "You don't listen."
"Maybe i'd listen if you were better at hiding how much you like it."
You feel how his body stiffens immediately as he inhales sharply before starting the engine. "Hold properly." He says, completely dismissing your words.
When the bike finally pulls away from the curb, you settle against him even closer than before, letting your body melt into the warmth of his. You smile to yourself beneath the helmet, because this time, you know exactly how tonight is going to end.
Your hands wander all over him throughout the entirety of the ride, tracing lines starting from his chest all the way down to his thighs. Jungkook has no idea how the hell he's survived when he rolls the bike into your garage, but he definitely knows the tension between you has turned into something so physical he feels like he's going to burst.
Neither of you can move when the engine cuts off, because the air is still vibrating from the ride. Because your body stayed pressed against his the entire way home like you were trying to test how much restraint one could realistically have before it gave out completely.
And judging by how Jungkook is handling it all— not much.
"You should go inside." He says eventually, back still turned to you.
You slowly let go of his waist, leaning back slightly as you take off your helmet. "I don't really want to."
Jungkook lets out a breath through his nose, then hops off the bike as he takes the helmet from your hand and places it back on the handle alongside his own. When he's back on the bike, he's facing you, legs placed on both sides of the vehicle.
He calls your name, but it sounds completely ruined in his mouth now, rough and raw around the edges by weeks of restraint and the complete lack of it sitting underneath. He shakes his head in frustration, dragging a hand along his face.
"Look, you— this, whatever you've been trying to do all night. No, scratch that, you've been doing this for weeks now. It's not going to happen, it can't happen."
"You wanna know what i think?" You ask instead, tilting your head.
"No."
"I think you liked avoiding me."
Jungkook's eyes darken at your words, sharp enough to slice through your skin that's ravaged with desire. And as the dawn slowly breaks, you see the walls crumbling down beneath his feverish, agitated gaze. Because you've already stripped him out of his armor and he hates how naked and vulnerable he might look to your eyes.
"You liked it because it gave you an excuse to think about me all the time." Your voice softens slightly, just enough to feel intimate. "Every room i walked into, every conversation you avoided, every time you looked away before i caught you. You liked it because that was the only way to fill your mind with me without feeling guilty."
Jungkook laughs quietly, but there's nothing amused about it. The sound comes out frayed, disbelieving, like he's hearing his own thoughts being spoken back to him in your voice and hates how accurate they sound.
"You think this is easy for me?" He asks, and the shift in his tone catches you off-guard. It's not softer, not gentler either— but it's honest. Raw in a way that sits somewhere so deep in his chest, so much more than he has been willing to show until now. "You think i enjoy walking into a room and having to pretend i'm not thinking about you?"
At his confession, your breath stutters without waiting for permission. Because suddenly, every letter rolling out of his tongue feels heavy. Because this is the first time he's admitting it out loud, even if it sounds like it's being dragged out against his will.
His eyes dip briefly to your lips before lifting again, but it's slow, as if the movement costs him something he can't pay for. "You keep looking at me like that." He mutters, so low that you think it's not meant for you.
"Like what?" You ask, looking up at him through your lashes.
"Like you already know i'm gonna give in."
You tilt your head slightly, pushing yourself further into his embrace. "Are you?" You ask, voice laced with a honeyed amusement.
He exhales sharply with closed eyes, and for a second, you think he's actually going to walk away. You see the glimpses of conflict flash across his features, shoulders tensing like he's forcing himself to hold onto the last scraps of control he has left.
But then his hands find your waist, firm and certain in a way that makes you believe he won't let go this time. Whatever was left of Jungkook's self-control gives in completely, and his lips are on yours in an instant.
A mix of gasps and moans falls from your lips, and he swallows them without wasting a second. Your fists find his jacket, tugging onto the fabric as you close the remaining bits and pieces of distance between your bodies.
His hands drop drown to your hips, moving them to the rhythm of your lips until you're fully on his lap. His thumb pulls at your bottom lip, searching for permission to be let in even further into your mouth. You grant him the access immediately, his tongue clashing against yours in a way that's hot, wet, and so fucking desperate.
You draw circles with your hips on his lap, his already hardened length pressing into your clothed core. The friction feels so good it blows your breath away, and your stomach flutters every time his skin touches yours in a way that's rather vulnerable and intimate instead of sole lust.
Jungkook feels his cock pulsing beneath the fabric of his jeans, and he swears he's going to cum on the spot if you keep moving your hips like that. Your wetness leaves filthy stains on the course denim, marking him with your arousal.
"This dress," He breathes into your mouth, voice laced with fever as he tugs onto the thin fabric. "You wore it for me?"
You smirk into the kiss, not forgetting to continue moving your hips. "Wouldn't you like to know." You sing softly.
He scoffs, hand sliding in through your dress to settle on your bare ass, giving it a hard squeeze, fingers digging into the soft flesh. "Oh, i already do."
The moment a soft trace of streetlights spread inside from the corner and chase away the darkness, Jungkook knows it's his cue to pull away. A final opportunity to let him fix everything he has broken and lost himself inside, a weak excuse to allow him wake up to a brighter morning without the weight of betrayal and regret and burnt desire he hates himself for not being able to keep hidden.
But he doesn't, he's so lost in the drug called you and as your body searches his further and further, there's almost nothing left in him that's holding him back from being gone completely.
Your movements on his lap grow into something more and more desperate, pussy aching with need as his hands wander all around your body, feeling you up beneath your dress. He lifts the skirt over your hips, exposing it to the cool air of the garage and your breath hitches at the feeling of being so bare all of a sudden.
"Shit— stop, stop." He nearly begs, pulling his lips away from yours. You look back at him, momentarily thrown. Because what does he mean stop? He can't, not right now, not when he's got you all hot and bothered on his lap.
"What's wrong?" You ask softly, brows pulling together.
"I'm— I'll cum if you keep doing that. Wanna be inside you."
The words mean so much more to you than just lust. Because this isn't only want, not at all. It's ravishment, the breakage of suppression that has been dressed up as a boundary for way too long. Jungkook has spent weeks— no, scratch that. He has spent years holding himself together so tightly you almost started believing he was actually capable of resisting you.
But now, he's sitting beneath you, looking completely unraveled by your body against his. Nothing more, nothing less.
You did that. The thought alone makes you dizzy.
You take a moment to let your gaze drift over his face; taking in the spent rise and fall of his chest, his red lips that are swollen from kissing you, the frustration and desperation tangled together beneath his darkened gaze…He looks wrecked in a way that doesn't suit him at all. Because Jeon Jungkook has always been a man of precision and there isn't a single ounce left of it in his being tonight.
He was always guarded in a way that kept every ugly thought locked somewhere private, somewhere no one else could reach, could touch. And now, Jeon Jungkook is falling apart right in front of you— because of you.
"Yeah? You want to fuck me, Jungkook?" You ask slowly, voice low and sultry as your nails trail lines along his inner thighs.
Jungkook lets out a low groan before speaking. "Come here." He says, pulling you back onto him. You laugh with the movement as your hands work on the zipper of his jeans, and he lifts his hips enough to assist you pull them off just enough.
Once his boxers are pulled down and his cock is all bare and exposed for you to see, you can't help but let your lips part in shock. You feel yourself nearly drooling over his size because fuck, he's huge.
You shouldn't be shocked, you've already felt him up and you expected nothing less. But seeing it like this, thick and long and leaking for you— you think you're going to pass away.
"See something you like, baby?" He smirks, all cocky and confident.
"That's not going to fit." You reply immediately, gaze flicking up and down consecutively.
"We'll make it fit." He says, eyes stuck on yours as he gives himself a few strokes. "And you're going to take every inch like the good girl you are."
You just stare at him, utterly in shock, almost scared. Because what the actual fuck is he talking about? You've never taking anything this big, and you're not sure if anyone ever has either.
"You were begging for me to fuck you. Weren't you, princess? Were so desperate for my cock and now what? Cat's got your tongue?" He says, a loose grin on his face as his thumb swipes over the head and spreads the precum.
"I'll take it." You say obediently.
"Yeah?" He breathes, lifting your hips so that your entrance is lining up with his cock.
"I'll take all of it. Need your big cock so bad. Fuck me, Jungkook. Please, need it." You beg, trying to push yourself down to take him into your cunt but he tightens his hands around your hips to hold you in place.
He guides your hips down slowly, letting you feel every line and every vein that's painting his pretty length. You whine at the stretch, but there's still half of him you haven't taken yet.
"Fuck," He groans, letting his eyes close and his head fall back as you sink down further. "You're so tight."
You both moan loudly as he presses your hips down fully, your wet cunt swallowing him wholly. He watches as his cock disappears between your folds, so wet and creamy with your slick that's already obnoxiously overflowing. Once all of him is inside you, you let out a high pitched whimper, feeling the way your walls burn with how good he's stretching you, because he's just that big. So fucking massive it's insane. And you swear you've never felt this full in your entire life.
"Holy shit." You gasp when he lifts his hips to meet you halfway, balls hitting your ass with the movement.
"How does it feel, princess? Anything like you imagined?" He asks, thrusting up into you as he guides your hips down, hands squeezing the flesh of your plump ass. "Use your big girl words, i know you can."
"So good, Jungkook. I'm so full, you're so— so big." You cry out, nails digging into his shoulders.
He pushes down the top of your dress, exposing the lace fabric of your red bra. He pulls it down just enough to bare your boobs, breath hitching the moment they bounce free right in front of his eyes.
Jungkook sucks in a sharp breath the moment you find your pace, your tits bouncing up and down as you hop on his cock, riding him to chase your own high. One of his hands lift to massage your tit as the other keeps digging into the flesh of your ass. You whimper when he takes your hardened nipple into his mouth, bouncing on his cock in a pace that slowly grows into something sloppier as the hot feeling of your orgasm starts building low in your stomach.
"Kook, i'm cumming. Shit."
"Yeah? Let it go, baby. Cream all over my fat cock."
His words do it for you, and you fall apart on his cock after a few more thrusts. Your legs start shaking and you bury your head in his neck for support, panting into his skin.
"You okay?" He asks, head tilted as he tries looking at your profile.
"Yeah…just," You breathe, straightening your posture to pull away and take a proper look at him. "Wanna make you feel good."
Jungkook groans loudly, letting his head fall back at your words. Because how can he act normal, how can he hold it together when your mouth keeps reciting filthy words so casually like you're talking about the weather?
He can't believe this, he still can't believe he's just fucked you on his stupid bike. Because this is you. Jaehyun's little sister. The girl he spent years forcing himself not to look at for to long. And now, he's got you all naked and completely spent on his lap, touching him like the yellow light that's filling up the void of control he'd built for himself, warming him up so intimately without even realizing you're doing so.
He's a goner. He's so irreversibly fucked and completely gone.
But what worsens it for him is, that you don't look too different from the state he's in. You've fallen apart right in front of his eyes, skin flushed, sounds breathless, movements desperate. They tell him you're just as gone as he is. There is something so dizzying about it, about seeing the exact effect he has on you after weeks of wondering whether he imagined it all or not.
He didn't.
Thank god, he didn't.
As his eyes wander all over you, desire burning through him so intensely it almost feels violent, he thinks about the one thing he has been dying to ask you.
Because if he doesn't ask now, when will he ever?
"Can i—" Jungkook cuts himself off with a quiet curse, dragging a hand down his face before looking back at you. "Fuck, can i fuck your tits?"
The corner of your mouth twitches upwards immediately, amusement curling through your face despite how breathless he left you just minutes ago. The overhead light catches against the flush spreading across your skin, showing off the mess he's made of you.
Your fingertips move onto the hem of your dress, pausing there long enough for anticipation to sizzle in his lungs before you slowly pull the fabric upwards.
Jungkook watches every movement, so so carefully. Like he's afraid that if he blinks, he'll miss something. And when your dress is completely off, he thinks that he might actually die right then and there.
The breath that leaves him when you unclasp your bra and let it fall down to the ground is sharp. His gaze drags over you with a kind of raw hunger he stopped trying to hide a long time ago tonight. There is nothing composed about him now, nothing careful. Just pure, unadulterated want.
"Jesus Christ." He mutters under his breath, hands flexing at his sides like he doesn't know what to do with them.
You tilt your head slightly, watching him through your lashes, a small and seductive smile playing on your lips. "You look overwhelmed."
"You think?" He argues, a rough laugh slipping out of his lips. "Press'em together for me, baby." He says, hands braced behind him as he leans into the handlebars.
You press your tits together, then lean forward onto him to take his cock between the soft flesh of your boobs. Jungkook's eyes flutter shut in an instant, a low groan escaping his lips as you start moving your chest up and down. His dick is already so wet, sliding between your boobs seamlessly.
"Love your tits, princess. Gonna paint them with my seed." He moans, long gone in the bliss. Jungkook's hips jerk beyond his control, and he starts fucking your tits as you move along with his pace.
He cums all over your chest not long after with low grunts of curses and your name on his tongue.
The garage still feels warm, still thick with tension and the aftermath of everything that just happened, everything that was boundto happen for weeks. But there isn't an edge to it anymore. Because Jungkook isn't looking at you the way he was just a few hours ago. Because now, there's no frustration behind his gaze. Instead, he looks wrecked.
He leans back against the handlebars as he tries catching his breath, one hand still on your thigh. You sit sideways across his lap, completely naked, hair messy, lips swollen.
Your fingers drift absentmindedly along the collar of his shirt as he tries catching his breath, smoothing the fabric. "You know," You murmur, eyes dancing over him. "You're a lot softer than i thought you'd be."
Jungkook laughs lightly. "You literally spent weeks trying to ruin my life."
"Mhm." You tilt your head, pretending to think. "You survived tho."
He snorts, thumb drawing circles on your thigh. "Barely."
You smile, then lean into his chest when his hand slides higher along your waist without really thinking, skin calloused and a little rough on your soft skin. But for some reason, it comforts you in a way nothing ever has.
Because for a second, it doesn't feel complicated at all. It doesn't feel like boundaries or guilt or Jaehyun or years of years of knowing each other but never doing anything about it. It just feels like Jungkook's hands on your body and the quiet look in his eyes that says he's still trying to process how badly he wanted this.
How badly he still wants it.
"I really tried not to." He says suddenly.
You look at him, brows pulling together faintly as you try to figure out what he's going to say. "Tried not to what?"
His eyes flick down to your lips before lifting again. "Want you."
Your stomach flips when he says that. Because they sound real. There is no teasing in them. No temptation, no flirtation. Just raw, unadulterated truth.
You lift your head to look at him properly, suddenly a little too aware of how close the two of you still are. How his hand hasn't moved from your waist, how your legs are still tangled with his on the bike like neither of you has figured out how to leave.
"You sucked at it." You say softly.
That earns you a real laugh this time. It's quiet and tired, yet warm around the edges in a way you've never heard him before. Even if you have, it was never for you. But now it feels so intimate that every breath he takes, every word he says, every single thing he does is in honour to you.
"Yeah, i know." And for one dangerous moment, everything feels easy.
Then the front door slams open upstairs.
"I'm home!" Jaehyun's voice echoes through the house; loud, drunk and completely unaware. "Why the fuck is the garage light on?"
your world crumbles when you're forced into a marriage with jeon jungkook, a man whose commanding presence terrifies you, reminding you of your father's cruelty. yet beneath his coldness, jungkook’s unexpected kindness stirs a spark of hope, making you question everything you fear. your life together starts—an emotional journey of two hearts seeking comfort, healing and a chance at love.
pairing — dom!jungkook x sub!femreader
genre — arranged marriage au, forced marriage, marriage of convenience, age gap, reader is of age, forbidden love, forced proximity, enemies to friends to lovers, grumpy x sunshine, rich ceo!jungkook, shy!reader, virgin!reader, poor!reader, obsession and possessive love, pining, slow burn, contrast of worlds, romance, drama, lots of angst, smut, fluff
warnings/tags — 18+, explicit smut, porn with plot, multiple sex scenes, multiple orgasms and positions, unprotected sex, creampie, size kink, soft dom!jungkook, post sex intimacy, post sex soreness, cum leaking, so much domestic stuff (sweet yet filthy at the same time), pussy inspection, oral sex (f. receiving), clit stimulation, pussy worship, eating out, dry humping, face riding and siting, cum eating, overstimulation and edging, crying during sex, breast play and nipple play, he takes care of her so well, so much emotions during sex, use of aloe gel, lots of makeout and kissing, hickies and scratching, sexual fantasies, hair pulling, clothed grinding, he's obsessed with her boobs, mentions of jungkook having blue balls, mentions of losing virginity and descriptions of the memories, massages and tender cuddling, she applies medicine to the scratches on his back, dirty talk praise kink, teasing, so much sexual tension, gym sex, reader gets turned on from watching jungkook workout, possessive!jk, he eats her out and fingers her on the bench, office sex, semipublic sex, clothed sex, cockwarming, riding, cervix play, squirting and gushing, thigh riding, bouncing, 69ing, sexual challenge (jungkook wins by cheating), oral sex (m. receiving), cock stroking, sloppy blowjob, gagging, drunk confessions, drinking and smoking, orgasm denial, loss of anal virginity, anal training, riming, anal fingering, thumbing, use of lots of lube, spitting, dual and triple stimulation, expanded prolonged orgasm, use of butt plug, cum play, future ass play and sexual talks, lots of sweet loving aftercare
wc — 41.6k
a/n — hello sweet babies! i hope you enjoy this huge chapter to the fullest and that it feels like a satisfying read after i haven’t been able to upload this series for almost three months cos i’ve been really busy 😖 i worked incredibly hard on this chapter and spent sm time on it which you can probably tell from the word count alone LMAO originally this chapter was exceeding the 70k+ mark and while i was writing the last smut scene (the submissive jungkook scene) ik a lot of you have been looking forward to — i realized i still had a huge chunk left to write, i didn’t wanna rush it and the chapter itself was becoming way too big so i decided to shift the last part into chapter 14.5 instead, i wanna take my time with it so i can give you guys something really good, i’m really sorry if you were especially excited for submissive!jk and the tiny hint of the plot twist but i promise chapter 14.5 will be uploaded asap cos i’m mostly free now and can dedicate the majority of my time to writing, this chapter holds a lot of sweet moments between them along with plenty of smut cos i wanted to give y’all a good amount of intimacy before the angst 😭 i really hope you enjoy your time reading this chapter and that it makes you as happy reading it as it made me while writing it, please let me know your thoughts, feedback through comments or asks, any kind of interaction truly means the world to me and motivates me sm! love y'all dearly and thank you for reading mwa ! <33
「 SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST | READ ON WATTPAD 」
you lay nestled against your husband's bare chest, body heavy with exhaustion, your eyes squinting as the light hits your eyes from between the curtains. with a whimper, you buried your face deeper against him to escape the morning light. you felt the tiredness run too deep, every part of your body aching in the most deliciously used way. last night felt like a dream.
hours upon hours of him worshipping you through the multiple rounds but it wasn’t just the sex but also the aftermath of him taking care of you so adoringly and he barely slept wanting to make sure you were comfortable before he even let himself close his eyes. losing your virginity was everything… he made you feel so loved. you thought sex was only about the man using the woman's body to his satisfaction and that’s it done. they didn’t care and mostly just fell asleep right after. you thought sex in erotic books was just fictional, it didn’t happen in real life and it wasn't as good but jungkook proved you wrong. his cock felt so big inside you beyond what you thought possible and even now you could feel the aftermath and the soreness between your thighs. your pussy is still tender and swollen from taking him again and again, from the way he'd prepped you with his fingers, the dildo you'd both played with and finally him. his cum was still slowly trickling out of you coating your inner thighs and seeping onto the fresh sheets he'd changed in the middle of the night to keep things comfortable after cleaning you. the rose petals were still scattered on the floor. you shifted slightly in his strong arms, your body felt battered in the best way. your jaw ached as well from taking him in your mouth and a little raw. you also didn’t have to look in the mirror to know that your body was filled with marks, hickies and his fingerprints from his grip. yet beneath the soreness there was this satisfaction, a dreamy contentment. it was almost like you were floating. you felt so happy.
your eyes closed as you felt your heart racing with emotion because not once did your traumas surface last night. not once did you think about your father or the memories of him forcing himself on your mother. jungkook made it so romantic and special constantly checking on you every step. despite all those weeks of teasing, the video calls where you pushed him… he held back, he was patient, let you explore and never crossed a line. he's been such a good man for you. tears welled up in your eyes as you inhaled his scent but they were happy ones especially now that you were high on the emotions from the aftermath of pleasure. you couldn’t forget how he filled you, how he'd turned pain into ecstasy, you couldn’t stop replaying how good it felt. how he'd hit that spot you didn’t even know existed inside you until you shattered around him over and over. you didn’t know that you'd feel so empty afterwards after being full of him like he filled a part of you that you didn’t know was missing. the pain was a sweet badge of just how thoroughly he'd loved you.
your lips part with awareness as you feel jungkook's arms suddenly tighten around you making you realize that he’s waking up. his one large hand is splayed across your back, the other cradling the back of your head as he nuzzles into your hair. his chest rose and fell against your cheek. he was naked too, his bare warmth pressing against you and his semi hard cock resting heavily against your thigh still slightly sticky from the night's activities. jungkook's own thoughts were a mix of everything, having you in his arms like this… it felt so unreal. at one point in his life he could only ever imagine having you like this. last night was just as special to him and it turned out exactly how he wanted, not rushed even when you were on your knees begging for his cock. there was just pleasure and love, so much of it.
“baby…”
he murmurs out finally, his voice husky from sleep and the groans he'd let out last night as his lips pressed a kiss against your forehead. his fingers traced your hip careful not to press too hard against your exhausted body.
“how are you feeling this morning? be honest with me, i know i was a… lot,” you blushed deeply, burying your face further into his neck as another trickle of his cum leaked out of you making you clench instinctively.
“i-i'm so sore jungkook, everywhere… but i can't stop thinking about how good it felt,” you stammered shyly, not meeting his eyes yet. he lets out a soft hum of concern tilting your chin up with gentle fingers so he could look into your eyes, his gaze filled with adoration and also a hint of guilt for leaving you this way.
“fuck hearing you say that… you have no idea what it means to me, i'm so proud of you, does it hurt too much? how's the rest of your body? legs okay? does your back hurt?” you shook your head with a fluttering stomach, you could never fully get used to him praising you. it made your clit twitch in response even now. he smiled softly and pulled you impossibly closer, naked bodies molding together beneath the sheets as his lips found yours in a slow kiss, tongues brushing together tasting the intimacy of the night before as he pulled away from your mouth, you went back to laying your head against his chest, both of your thoughts drifting to the pleasure once again and he didn’t need to see your face to understand that you had flushed cheeks. you were ripping his shirt, touching him all over and now you were all shy in the morning and he found it so adorable. it makes him adore every side of you.
he continues holding you like that for a while, basking in each other while his rhythmic heartbeat beneath your ear seems to lull you. you let out a contented sigh as one of his legs makes your thighs part making him rest between them as your brow furrows at the feel of his hard muscle resting against your pussy but there wasn’t anything sexual about it, it was about the connection of the both of you just in the bliss. you realized that you were leaving a slick trail along his thigh but his arms were wrapped too securely around you as if he didn’t mind it at all as his other hand threaded through your messy hair. you could sense that despite the obvious arousal of his cock against your stomach, he made no move to act on it. his tired freshly deflowered girl. his hand rested on your mound lightly, not too much pressure for a while before his hand slid down to gently caress your ass cheek before slipping between your legs from behind. his fingers didn’t push inside, they just rested against your leaking puffy pussy lips and feeling the wetness there.
“oh..”
a moan leaves you as the soothing touch sends goosebumps across your skin.
“mm baby… you're still leaking my cum,” he said softly, breath hitting against your ear. he kissed your temple then your cheek, then captured your lips once again as if he couldn’t get enough of you. this time the kiss deepened gradually, his hand cupping your jaw as he poured affection into every brush of his tongue and every nip of his teeth against your lips. when you pulled back breathless as his eyes searched yours.
“i was worried i was too rough at the end. you took me so well though... does it sting when i touch you like this hm?” you whimpered breathily, pressing your forehead to his.
“a little… but don’t stop please.”
“yeah?” he asked lovingly. his eyes told you that the concern didn’t leave him fully, your hands curling against his chest.
“last night no one had ever made me feel that safe, i didn’t think about… anything bad not once. it was just you,” you whispered so he’d know that you were being honest. his arms tighten around you causing your breasts to squish on his chest, a low groan escaping him as his hardening cock presses more firmly against your thigh but he was too focused on prepping kisses along your jaw and down your neck, sucking occasionally, he gave your skin a swipe of his tongue.
“i'm so fucking glad,” he murmurs between kisses. he leans up to nuzzle his nose against yours.
“today is your pampering day sweetheart,” he affirms with a coy look on his face.
“p-pampering day?”
“mhm, today is just about taking care of my girl,” you giggled feeling giddy under his attention, the sound muffled against his skin, one of your legs draping more fully over his as you cuddled closer. your hand traced the muscles on his abdomen before you stopped just above his v-line, even though you couldn’t see his cock that was covered by the blanket, you could feel every inch of it.
“godd you're perfect,” he lets out a warm chuckle of his own at your giggle. he rolls slightly so you are half on top of him, your bodies pressed flush. his hands roam, stroking up and down your back sometimes cupping your ass then resting on your hips. both of you alternated between the touches and occasional unhurried kisses, breaths mingling. the kiss broke into smaller ones, soft pecks on your lips or his cheek. he could stay like this all day, naked, holding you, talking, touching. no rush, not a single care of this world except having you close to him in the quiet moment and just holding each other. his hands never stopped their loving caresses as bodies intertwined, the talks between you both continuing as he asked about every little ache on your body and listened intently. his fingers sometimes tracing the sides of your tummy making you laugh and push at his chest at the ticklish feeling. both of you are completely overwhelmed with the joy of being wrapped up in each other. jungkook's arms stayed wrapped around your exhausted body for several long moments. he pulled back a bit as he gazed down at you.
“let me take care of you now yeah?” he cupped your cheek, his thumb stroking softly. you nodded shyly.
“okay...”
you felt so sore everywhere especially down there and just wanted to stay in bed, unwilling to move but you trusted him. jungkook's expression melted further as he sat up first, stretching with a groan, his back muscles flexing deliciously and you couldn't help but stare awestruck with parted lips as he pushed his messy long hair away from his face. he reached for one of his oversized black shirts draped over the nearby chair and looked back at you with a curve on the corner of his lips. he helped you sit up slowly, supporting your body as your legs felt weak and your inner thighs were so tender that you couldn't stop the wince from escaping.
“careful baby...”
he settled you carefully before slipping the shirt over your head, guiding your arms through the sleeves. you sighed at the smell of him surrounding you even precisely, your nose burrowing in the hem as he leaned down to press a kiss against your forehead before pecking your lips.
“there she is, my pretty girl in my shirt,” he murmured against your mouth smiling.
“looks better on you than it ever did on me,” you blushed at his words and he leaned down to pick you up.
“koo… i can try to walk, you don't have to carry me.”
“no way,” he shook his head firmly and without another word, he scooped you up bridal style, one arm under your knees and the other around your back. you gasped at the sudden lift, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck.
“i've got you. don't put pressure on those legs yet, let yourself heal first yeah?” every step he took towards the bathroom rocked you in his arms. you were so small like this and it made him want to keep you in his arms all day. that was what he was planning to do today anyways. in the bathroom he set you down carefully on the floor keeping one hand on your waist for support. the mirror reflected both of you as you stared a bit shocked since you were looking at yourself for the first time after losing your virginity, at your messy hair and swollen lips, neck and collarbone dotted with love bites and if you weren't wearing the shirt, you'd probably be seeing all the marks on the rest of your body as well. your cheeks burn as you see jungkook not having a care in this world as he's shamelessly naked and his soft cock hangs freely for you to see jiggling with his movements as if being naked around you was the most natural thing. he grabbed your toothbrushes squeezing the toothpaste onto both with ease. standing close behind you, he handed you yours.
“here you go baby,” he rasped. his free arm looped around your middle, chin resting on your shoulder as you both started brushing, he watched you in the mirror with such fond eyes. foam gathered at the corner of your lips and he chuckles, wiping it away with his thumb. it felt so domestic like an instinct, it didn’t feel weird at all. after both of you finished rinsing your mouth, you turned to him as you felt the familiar pull on your lower belly.
“jungkook... i need to pee,” you whispered.
“sure go ahead,” he says absentmindedly as he wipes his mouth with a towel as if it weren't a big deal at all. you glanced at the toilet then back at him, shifting on your feet nervously.
“can you… go out? for a minute? please?” he paused what he was doing and tilted his head, an understanding smile playing on his lips as he cupped your face with both hands.
“hey… no, i'm not going anywhere. i've seen every single part of you princess, inside and out. you don’t have to hide anything from me ever and peeing in front of me won't change how i see you okay?”
“but... it's embarrassing,” you whisper, looking down at your fingers. you knew he was right, not a single part of you he hadn't seen but still you didn't know how to do it, it felt more private. he turned you gently toward the toilet guiding you to sit before placing a kiss at the tip of your nose.
“that's exactly why i am staying. nothing about you is embarrassing to me, you're my wife,” he wanted to see all of you even the small things. his hand stayed on your shoulder, thumb stroking comforting circles as he crouched slightly. eyes locked on yours with not a single hint of judgment.
“relax for me okay? it's natural, just let go,” you hesitated, heart pounding hard and the pressure on your bladder was insistent. his words seemed to relax you a little, the resistance fading and with a tiny nod, you parted your thighs a little. he remained just like that, not even turning away. finally with a shaky breath, you let go. the sound of the stream hitting the water below was loud in the quiet bathroom and it made your face pinker, you whimpered unable to even meet his eyes fully, staring at his chest instead. you squeezed your eyes shut as you tried not to think, instead he reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. the relief was immediate but mixed with the pain of the sensitivity of your walls that have been thoroughly used and stretched last night. your body still didn't fully adapt to accepting him. jungkook stayed right there watching your face more than anything, his expression loving.
“such a good girl,” he whispered warmly.
“does it hurt when you pee baby?” he asks next as he sees the slight discomfort on your face from the burning sensation. the comfort of his presence and words made all the embarrassment disappear slowly.
“a little… it stings a bit but it's okay,” there was this deep protectiveness in his heart seeing you like this and how much you trusted him enough to let him see all the vulnerable sights of you. you were his completely now with no barriers and no secrets, it was the intimacy of being so open in front of your partner with no fear or embarrassment. even the little things like this, apart from sex mattered and deepened the bonding.
“you're doing so well, almost done?” when the flow finally stopped, you let out a shaky breath reaching for the toilet paper but jungkook gently took it from your hands.
“let me,” he said simply. he wiped you carefully, his touch mindful of your swollen core as you stared at him with mortified eyes but overwhelmed with so many feelings that it felt like you might burst. you never thought a man could love you like this and a small part of you felt closer to him because of it. that he wasn’t disgusted at all. the paper came away with traces of his cum and your wetness which he then discarded.
“there… all clean see?” he remained kneeling before you, his thumbs brushing your knee.
“baby,” he husks out.
“how about a nice warm bath together in the tub? it'll help you feel better, we can just soak, nothing else, if you don’t want that, sounds good?” you nodded bashfully, your hand finding its place on his bare chest.
“that sounds nice koo…”
“that's my girl, come here,” with care he scooped you up into his arms once again, not willing to let you walk even for a minute and he set you down on the cool edge of the large bathtub before he started filling it with warm water, the steam filling the space around you both. he also added the bath oils that you loved the scent of so much.
“arms up for me love,” he whispered, his eyes fixed on yours intensely. you lifted your arms and his hands moved to grasp the hem of his oversized t-shirt around you before he peeled it away to expose your naked body to him. he sucked in a sharp breath, his gaze roaming over you like he was seeing you for the first time all over again because it seemed so from the marks around your body, the way you seemed to glow after giving yourself to him after he thoroughly claimed every part of you, it was like your beauty had been added.
“look at you...”
he says in awe. his fingers traced lightly over the hickeys on your collarbone and the bruises on your thighs and waist that he could see properly now in broad daylight with no blanket or clothing covering you. these marks on you god... they made him feel so many things.
“my beautiful girl..”
he croons, his hand brushing your arm. you bite your lip feeling cherished under his admiring stare, your thighs pressed together. being right in front of his eyes again was making heat pool on your belly once again despite your tenderness. jungkook seemed to notice that as his hands rested on your waist, the position puts him eye level with your body.
“let me see sweetheart. i need to check on you. spread your legs for me a little?” he asks soothingly. he promised he'd care for you today with no pressuring and he was going to do exactly that. he carefully parted your thighs, his thumb stroking your inner thighs in circles and you gasped at the feeling of the cool air hitting your exposed pussy suddenly. jungkook's eyes darkened with hunger and concern as he took in the sight with no barriers. your pussy was swollen, the outer lips puffy and reddened slightly. he could see a trickle of his white cum slip out from your entrance slowly mixing with your own arousal that was just helplessly there whenever he was around. your body is always mostly aroused with him. the clear sight of it and how deeply he'd taken you made his cock throb but he ignored it once again for you.
“shitt baby... you're so swollen,” he murmurs. one of his fingers hovered near your mound but didn't touch it yet.
“i was so big for you wasn't i hm? my cum is still dripping out,” he observed and there was no doubt of the desire in his voice but he felt so bad too that he inflicted even a little bit of pain on you. you pant at his words and the way he's looking at you, your hand gripping the side of the tub. having him look at you like this makes everything worth it. he leaned in closer, pressing an open mouthed kiss to the inside of your thigh then another higher up.
“gonna take good care of every inch of you today understand?” he rasps seriously, eyes meeting yours and your lips part at the promises they hold, you cannot help but nod shakily.
“touch me please,” he smiles at your words before placing another kiss beside your mound.
“i can never keep my hands off you..” his hands brushed up and down your legs. his thumbs parted your folds gently to see your inflamed inner clitoris, which looked more enlarged than usual and had a dark shade from the constant stimulation it received. he groaned low in his throat as he saw another bead of his cum ooze out of you.
“god you're so full of me even now...”
“mmm yes...”
you admitted breathlessly, your hand reaching down to thread through his hair. he looked up at you with those big expressive eyes that held everything and that always made your stomach flutter, you could see how much he was holding back right now.
“tell me if it hurts or what feels okay alright?”
“yes... please touch me,” you repeated once again, voice trembling. you knew nothing else could soothe you more than his touch.
“just be gentle?”
“of course, always for you,” his fingers were slick as he carefully wiped away some of the leaking cum with a soft cloth first then let the warm water from the tub lap against you. he soothed the other lips with light strokes.
“you're gonna be okay… i got you,” his thumb circled your clit with the barest pressure, drawing an immediate moan from you.
“ah,” it felt like your clit had a thousand more nerves from how sensitive it felt. it has also been directly exposed from the hood from how ripe it was.
“koo...”
your hips twitched and he didn't need words to understand.
“i know love, shh,” he kept his touches light even as his own breathing grew heavier as the steam rose around you both. his thumbs applied enough pressure to keep your trembling legs open for him, preventing any instinctive urge to close them. the way he was staring without a hint of pulling away at the area between your legs, like he was almost inspecting you
“koo… don’t stare at me like that please,” you breathed though your legs stayed parted for him. your entrance was slightly open and clenching as if remembering the way his cock filled you hours earlier especially now from the owner's gaze as your inner folds peaked out like a spread flower. your pussy looked abused in the best way. he shook his head, leaning in even closer until his breath ghosted directly over your heat sending shivers up your spine.
“no hiding from me ever again. tell me if anything hurts too much yeah?” you let out a breath, your eyes meeting his vulnerably.
“o-okay...” his fingers brushed over your slit and the sudden sharp sensation made your hand fly down to grip his broad shoulder for support.
“ahh… jungkook,” you moaned quietly, your fingers digging into the muscle of his shoulder as he held you open. his brows furrowed in concentration as he sees how your slit is fluttering with weakness and the redness that colored everything from your mound down to your perineum.
“that's it… how do you feel?” he asks. he calms you while his thumb brushes ever so lightly beside your swollen clit, close enough but not yet touching the hypersensitive button directly.
“it... it burns a little bit in a good way,” you admitted breathlessly as you fought the urge to squirm under his scrutiny.
“it's so sensitive…”
but you needed him more than anything, whatever he could give you as your hips give the tiniest roll toward his face. jungkook hummed in approval as his eyes darkened further with lust while he remained perfectly in control staying focused entirely on your pleasure at the moment. you took his fingers so eagerly last night, his tongue lapping at you for hours and seeing your pussy up close reminds him of how you'd squeezed his cock. he wanted to touch and admire you at once and he still wouldn't be able to get enough. one of his fingers traced the slick seam of your entrance, collecting the creamy mixture of your combined fluids without pushing inside and then he spread it upward over your fold making everything slicker and wetter.
“mhmm,” you panted as you arched, your head falling back at his slick touches. you let out a longer needier moan when he continued his inspection.
“n-ngh… it's so sensitive inside koo,” he nodded understandingly, his other hand resting on your belly rubbing soothingly there over the soft skin easing some of your tension.
“i know princess. i know exactly how sensitive you must be. i'm not going inside at all, i promise you okay?” his fingers worked like an expert's as always and you knew his intentions well and that was to make you feel good. his fingers massaged your outer lips, pressing just enough to stimulate without causing pain while his eyes never left your core watching every throb and twitch. his light touches felt teasing almost and it kept on going for minutes mixed with your breathy whimpers and his praise.
“does this feel okay right here baby?” he asked repeatedly as he alternated his touches. your sighs turned into more contented sounds under his devoted attention.
“so good...”
you squirmed as your head fell back on the tile once again, your breasts rising and falling. jungkook knew that was another of your body's signals to go further as his finger moved to your clit now.
“yeah it's good?” he murmurs. you whined as he began circling the tip of it with the pad of his thumb while keeping your folds spread with his other hand. your toes curled tightly.
“o-oh… koo!” you let out a sob at the pain mixed with pleasure at the direct clit touches from how raw it is as your fingers threaded into his hair for anchoring yourself. he watched your face the entire time, taking in every expression, ready to adjust at the slightest sign of discomfort.
“talk to me sweet girl… does it hurt when i rub your clit like this or does it make the ache feel a little better?” he questioned affectionately. he adds the tiniest bit more pressure and leans down to blow air directly on your cunt. you gasped, your hips rocking towards him as he lets himself give you an open mouthed kiss right on your clit.
“better... so much better koo,” you whimper.
“don't stop pleaseee,” you dragged out the last word in a moan making him smile at how extra responsive you were to him, all because he wore you out. it does something primal to him. he kept on going alternating between gliding strokes along your folds or around your clit with two fingers now as he seemed to sense your noises getting higher. he pressed kisses all over your inner thighs and mound as he scooped more of your essence from the slit to rub it on your clit making you writhe on the edge of the tub. he was using his own cum to help soothe your battered pussy that had taken him so deep, he knew that if you weren't on the pill he'd have knocked you up for sure. the callouses he had on the tip of his fingers and palm enhanced the sensations even more—nothing that your fingers could ever satisfy. you could see his increased longing as he stares at your pussy, his breath ghosting over it making your entire body shiver in anticipation.
“can i eat your pussy princess? please? use my tongue to make it all better hmm?” he wants to worship the pussy that took him so well as his words were full of sincere devotion, his eyes never leaving yours as he waited patiently for your consent, his hands still stroking your thighs. your lips parted as your fingers tugged his hair in encouragement.
“yes… please koo,” his mouth always felt like heaven and you loved it when he ate you out so much, you'd never deny that offer but little did you know that he loved doing it even more. your body relaxes further against the bathroom wall, your legs trembling as you steadied yourself for him, wanting it so much. he starts by pressing a kiss on top of your mound right above your swollen clit and his little kisses are the ones that drive you a little more crazy. his tongue was on you at last staring at the very bottom of your slit where the mess of his dried cum still trickled from your gaping entrance. his wet warm tongue collected the evidence of it in long strokes starting to lap at it.
“a-ah... oh my god,” you sobbed at how good it felt. it was like he was pleasuring you and simultaneously giving you relief from your soreness which was the best combination ever. the heat of his mouth was the perfect balm against your heated flesh and it immediately sent you sparks of relief as your back arched. he hummed in satisfaction at the taste, the vibration makes your clit throb hard and makes your hips twitch as fresh wetness begins to mix with the remnants he was cleaning.
“mmm you taste like us baby, so fucking sweet mixed with me,” he groaned against your pussy, the words muffled against your folds as he continued his attentive work, you grew more squirmy beneath him but he steadied you with his hands.
“relax for me... just focus on my tongue,” he coos deeply. he took his sweet time as if he didn't have to hurry at all, he didn't eat your pussy like he usually did, hungry and quick as if he couldn't get enough because he wanted to make it intense for you and to make you cum quick but this was about making you feel better while feeling all the waves of the sensations his tongue was capable of. he licked continuous stripes up the entire length of your slit, avoiding direct sucking on your engorged clit at first knowing it would hurt you if he did so. he used his mouth to suck onto each of your folds, his tongue tending against it lovingly as your toes curled and quiet little gasps left you. your hands tightened on his hair, holding on as more of your juices started to leak from you which he was so appreciative of because he swallowed them greedily with hungry wet noises. it only seemed to heighten your pleasure. his tongue was so skilled and it was like he was turning your discomfort into something healing and erotic. he sucked so gently on one swollen puffy lip before moving to the other... carefully oh so carefully. all you could hear was his slurps, his hums of satisfaction and your breathy moans that were growing louder and more desperate with each passing minute.
“uh… uh… uh…”
he also kept you spread for him gently but never forced or pinning you down, letting you lift your hips or arch when things got more intense.
“you're doing so good, my brave girl aren't you?” he growls. he pulled back just enough to speak, his chin and lips glistening with your essence as he looked up at you from between your legs.
“want me to make you cum so nice and slow with just my tongue baby?” your breath hitched as you pulled at his hair bringing his face closer and nodded jerkily. he lets out a gruff chuckle at your desperation and goes back in with renewed hunger, this time focusing on your twitching clit with small circles with just the very tip of his tongue, followed by more long dragging licks that started from your fluttering hole and all the way up to your clit. your legs felt like warm honey as you clenched again, sending trickles of arousal on his waiting tongue as he moaned at the taste while your legs couldn't remain still fully rocking against his mouth.
“koo...”
you mewled as he gave a subtle suckle on your clit. it felt like it was going on for minutes after minutes for how slow he was going, it wasn't just to bring you to orgasm even though he'd do that eventually but to just worship your cunt. there wasn't a single fold or crease in the external part where his tongue didn't go exploring all parts of you like he was memorizing your pussy once again. he clearly avoided penetrating you with his tongue or giving your clit direct suckles.
“o-oh!” your whimpers turned into little cries now from how his pace was increasing and he could sense that you were reaching your peak from the way you shook so hard so he redoubled his efforts while still being careful. your thighs clamped hard around his head while your pussy throbbed hard against his tongue and his mouth seals on your clit, sucking it softly making you let out a loud keening cry.
“jungkook i'm cumming… ahh oh god!” tears welled in your eyes from the sensation when your orgasm finally went over you. it was a gentle orgasm rather than something intensely deep and shuddering that left you boneless and seeing stars under your eyelids from the previous night. it was the type of orgasm that left you boneless in the best way without too much. he stayed right there through every aftershock, his tongue still moving licking and collecting your release to carry you through the orgasm and to bring you back down. he couldn't stop groaning when he ate you out, he could never get enough and he could still get the remnants taste of his salty cum mixed with your release as well.
“that's it… give it all to me baby,” he hums. he gave you a few more licks making sure not to put his tongue on the reddened areas, he didn't want to overstimulate you from how hard you were throbbing, he stopped. he already knew how overwhelmed you were. he licked his lips clean before his eyes locked on you where you lay lax on the wall and panting heavily with glistening eyes. he moved up to press a kiss right beside your belly button and made his way up murmuring praises.
“how does it feel now my love? a little better are we?” the way he asks you so patiently and his nickname “my love” makes you flush as your eyelids flutter. you clung to jungkook with every ounce of strength left in you as your body still shudders from the aftershocks leaving your mind hazy. his shoulders felt like the only anchor as your feet dug into them, your fingers still buried in his thick hair as you tugged him upward with a needy almost childish whimper.
“jungkook… come here please,” you breathed out as your heart thudded beneath your chest. you needed him close. he rose from between your legs without hesitation, his chin still shining with your essence as his eyes locked on yours with such profound attention. he looked at you in a way as if nothing in the world mattered except fulfilling your request.
“i'm right here baby, not going anywhere else,” he murmurs. he climbed over you as his arms wrapped around your waist to pull your limp body flush against his own heated form. he was burning with pent up need.
the water sloshed around you both as he settled with you inside the tub full of warm water now and you gasped in contentment at the feeling of yourself soaking in it. he cupped the back of your head and settled you in his arms as your face found its perfect home in the crook of his neck, nuzzling into it with a sigh and you could even find traces of the musk of your pleasure still on his jaw and some that had slid down to his neck as well. he positioned you until you were on top of him and straddling him under the water as your legs wrapped around his waist. you couldn't help but press a kiss against his collarbone tasting his sweat, both your hands finding their way on his chest. jungkook lets out a contented noise, he tilts his head to capture your lips in a passionate kiss that stole whatever little breath you had left. his tongue slips into your mouth, letting you taste yourself fully on him that has mixed with his saliva making you moan inside his mouth. he sucks on your lower lip, tongue exploring your mouth as he signs hotly into your mouth, all of it building into a kiss so full of emotion that tears pricked your eyes once again. last night and the recent orgasm made you more sentimental than usual and with his constant closeness, you've never felt more whole.
“you taste so fucking sweet even now,” he whispered against your cheek after pulling away. his hand stroked your spine while the other hand held you close and you smiled at his words, your nose pressing against his chest feeling your pussy clench. he closed his eyes, leaning back and soaking in the moment and his weary muscles from exerting so much energy last night. both of you dreamily pressed together while you still soaked in the post orgasm as the entire world felt invisible other than the two of you. your finger traced the line of his jaw and then downward over his pectorals before settling on the thump of his heart beneath your palm and he watched you with fond half lidded eyes and how free you were with him that you wouldn't think twice before touching him. before this when you were still learning, you were so hesitant and shy, now touching him came all naturally to you. your breasts pressed against his chest. both your heart and soul seemed to connect together in their own way. he kissed the top of your head and every exposed skin he could find and butterflies seemed all over the place in your stomach. his hand never stopped touching you as well, caressing your side and then beneath the water to caress your round ass cheeks just stroking without intruding into your other areas.
“last night... it feels unreal you know?” he lets out a breath and a lovesick grin on his face as you blush deeply and smile against his neck, moving closer causing the water to lap around your joined bodies. it felt like both of you were teenagers in love.
“it feels like i—i can still feel you inside me,” you confessed. you could feel the way his erection reacted at your words and you shifted a little making him groan and you felt bad about how he was taking care of you while he was aching without making a single comment about it. your hand slipped under the water, going forward to brush against his cock and he caught your wrist before you could wrap your hand around him and brought it to his mouth to place a kiss on the back of it before bringing it back up to rest over his heart, where it has been before.
“easy baby, today is all about you..”
“i'm staying home with you all day today so i can take care of my beautiful wife,” he grumbles playfully. you bite your lower lip, looking at him with wide eyes.
“do you understand?” he asks when you don't reply to him in a mock serious way making you giggle. he doesn't waste time and grabs the body wash squirting some in his palms before getting his soapy hands on you, starting at your shoulders where the massage takes away any tension left before sliding down to your arms, making you sigh and melt further into him.
“hah...”
you squeaked when both his hands suddenly cupped your full breasts, his thumb rubbing your nipples that were still raw from all the attention they received as they tightened further under his touch.
“these pretty tits… looked so goddamn beautiful bouncing last night while i fucked you. ugh i can't get enough,” he husks. the memory of it has both of your bodies reacting, you still couldn't be used to how he had no filter and always blurted out such dirty and lewd things, it makes you feel things every time and makes you wetter during intimate times, you believed you could cum just from his words alone. both of you, like, this brought back thoughts of when you both first showered in the tub together after his accident and he was still recovering from his injuries. when he'd allowed you to just have the tip of his cock in a moment of closeness while washing each other so thoroughly.
“this feels so much like that first time we were in here together,” you croaked. as his hands ventured lower carefully washing your lower body, avoiding going near your core just over your mound and your butt, making you tingle all over while all the sticky mess from your body is being washed away. jungkook on the other hand, also smiled recalling the memory of that day while his fingers continued their ministrations on you.
“yeah… i remember every bit of it. i wanted you so desperately but then i held back because i knew you needed more time,” he leaned in to kiss you again as his hard cock pressed against you, he got turned on even while he was simply caring for you and being all lovey. the soapiness continued as you both soaked and you returned the favor by washing him too over his chest and abs whenever you could reach. you loved feeling the way his muscles flexed under your touch always. your head fell on his shoulder as you couldn't help but comment on the way his cock was pressing against you, the afterglow seemed to loosen your tongue as well.
“you're still too hard for me... even after everything we did,” you whisper. he pulled you in tighter so your head rested more comfortably against his chest and his erection nestled between your bodies.
“i can't help it when you're naked and so soft against me but i'm more than okay with just holding you,” his hands cupped your face looking into your eyes that has grown hooded with emotion.
“you always put me first without ever thinking of yourself,” you croak as both your foreheads press together, just breathing the same air as his eyes soften.
“that's because you are safe with me baby and you deserve all of it and more,” he replies with so much utter adoration. both of you stay like that for what felt like hours until the soap was washed away from your bodies and the water ran cold but none of you seemed to notice that as you stayed molded like that in the tub like two pieces of a perfect puzzle.
after a while jungkook helped you out first as he lifted you gently and settled your feet on the bath mat, when you took a step forward, a sharp pain went between your legs as a hiss left your lips before you could stop it when you took yet another step. you gripped his arm out of instinct, the shower had mostly washed away everything but the deep sensitivity was still there and will probably be there for the entire day today. jungkook instantly grabbed you, steadying you so you didn't take another step and wrapped a large towel around your body tucking it securely above your breasts after wiping all the excess water from your body and hair with gentle pats and doing the same to himself roughly.
“careful baby, don't try to walk just yet,” his voice was filled with concern as he put the towel around his waist too before he scooped you up into his arms once again cradling you just like he's already done twice since the morning as if you were his little baby to take care of and he wouldn't let you get on your legs at all.
“it hurts too much when you try to walk?” he questions once again. you shook your head as you inhaled his masculine scent now mixed with the freshness.
“it doesn't hurt a lot... just a little when i put pressure on walking,” he hummed but didn't seem much convinced and he was carrying you like you were made of glass. he carried you to the bedroom setting you down carefully on the edge of the bed.
“stay right here yeah?” he leaves you for a short while to grab the hair dryer, a comb and a few skincare products as you watch a bit dumbfounded but with a fluttering heart. he plugged in the dryer and sat behind you in the bed, his legs bracketing yours protectively. he gathered your damp hair, fingers threading through the strands with surprising care for a big man. he turned the blow dryer on as he directed the air over your hair, his other hand lifting sections carefully to dry them from the roots. like he knew exactly how to dry a woman's hair properly, like he knew by heart. he's really doing this you thought... drying your hair like it's the most important thing in the world right now. you looked down at your fingers, glad that the mirror wasn't in front of you so he couldn't see how red your cheeks were and how shy you suddenly felt. probably the last time anyone cared for your hair like this was your mother when she used to bathe you as a kid. your eyes fluttered at the feeling of his hands and the blow dryer as you leaned into him.
“feels good?” he asked softly. his breath brushing your ear as he worked.
“your hair smells so nice. i love doing this for you,” he admits with a grin of his own.
“it feels amazing,” you whispered.
“you're spoiling me,” you admit bashfully.
he chuckled lowly.
“uhuh? just taking care of my pretty girl,” he continued drying another section, he was patient, taking his time making sure not a single strand was tangled or left damp. every so often he'd lean in and press a kiss to your bare shoulder that makes you squirm slightly. once your hair was mostly dry and fluffy, he set the dryer aside and picked up the comb. he went through your knots slowly so it didn't pull your hair making sure that there weren't any knots left.
“there we go... all soft,” he murmured proudly. his free hand smoothed down your hair with each pass.
“koo... you're really good at this. where did you learn?”
“learning for you..” he replied simply.
“i watched tutorials last week and watched you do it yourself, i actually wanted to be ready for moments like this,” he went through the last layer and you tried to hold back tears at how he was an acts of service man how much effort he put in the little things because he wanted to. his hands paused for a bit and he reached for the moisturizer next, the same brand that you always use every morning. he puts a small amount on his fingers before coming to sit in front of you and you couldn't even meet his eyes properly from how adored he made you feel, he grinned before tilting your head up with a finger.
“what happened hmm?”
“j-just overwhelmed,” you stuttered and his thumb traced your cheek, making your eyes open to meet his once again.
“i love you...”
he said it with such rawness in his voice as if from the depths of his heart he meant it, like those three words alone told you how you should get used to moments like this, like there were thousands more to come in the future and that you were his wife, a tear escaped you which he caught with his thumb, understanding your overload of emotions without any words. he distracts you by gently applying dots of the moisturizer on your cheeks, chin and forehead making you let out a teary smile.
“that's the smile i love,” he gruffs with an exaggerated nod making your smile turn into a giggle. he applied the moisturizer carefully, smoothing it over your cheekbones and down the bridge of your nose and forehead with utmost care. so much care and gentleness that your eyes fall closed once again savoring the closeness of him. the feeling of being cherished like this. he tilted your chin applying more on your jawline and neck, his fingers tracing the hickeys he'd left on your neck. then came the lip balm, he uncapped it and swiped it slowly across your lower lip and then the upper lip, his gaze locked on your mouth obsessively. he could still see the vivid image of these pouty lips wrapped around his cock. he leaned in, pecking your lips and tasting the strawberry balm and you.
“better?”
“much better,” you crooned. he laughed softly when he understood how shy you were and pulled you closer until you were close to him now that he was done, careful not to jostle you.
“no need to be shy with me yeah? let me pamper you,” you nestled into him.
“i will...” you sign out and he held you tighter, lips brushing your temple.
“good that's all i want,” he afterwards settles you more firmly on the bed, spreading your legs slightly to rest himself between them as he guides your body to lay back against the pillows and blankets that were still a mess from last night. you shivered as the morning air brushed against your hypersensitive folds, even the tiniest feeling towards it made you twitch. your entrance still seemed to throb as you watched him reach over to the nightstand to grab another item that he'd also brought with the moisturizer and it was a clear tube of unscented aloe gel. he squeezes a generous amount onto his clean fingertips, his other palm comes to rest on your thigh before his eyes meet yours.
“baby?” his voice overflows with affection.
“this is aloe gel alright? and i'm gonna apply it on you.”
“this might feel a little cold at first but it'll help with the soreness and bring down that swelling. tell me if it's too much or if anything feels uncomfortable okay?” you let out a shaky breath and felt your pulse quicken because of how he is so set on making you feel better in every way possible even when he wasn't responsible for the pain at all. the pain was something you'd go through all over again if it meant having him and him being the man to take your virginity.
“okay…” you breathe and he smiled at your words. his gaze dripped with nothing but care, your exposed pussy and your slit clenched with residual spasms and he knew he had to focus specifically on that area from the way his cock had slid in and out repeatedly and caused the swelling.
“i know sweetheart,” he whispered huskily.
“are you ready for me?” he asks again to confirm and you nod with a sign. he carefully parted your legs a little wider to expose you fully for his treatment. his fingers, now generously coated in aloe gel hovered just above your mound before slowly spreading the gel along your outer labia. the cooling sensation hits you almost instantly, crashing onto you with relief as if the gel itself had certain properties to take away all your irritation.
“gosh...” you let out a whimper as your hips twitched at the sudden comfort against the persistent ache that had lasted for hours.
“ahh... it's cold...” you panted as your eyes fluttered shut. jungkook paused immediately, his concerned eyes flicking up to meet yours.
“too cold love? do you want me to warm it up more between my fingers?” he would stop immediately if you wanted as he cupped the back of your thighand it made you mewl happily.
“no... no it's a good kind of cold… it feels really good already,” you reassured him. your body relaxes back deeper into the pillows as the gel begins to work its magic, dulling any sting that was left helping you so much.
“k-keep going please,” you plead. with your encouragement jungkook nodded, his expression turning back to focused as he used two fingers to spread the gel in massaging motions over the external area of your core so that all the slickness would be absorbed well. he ran his fingers up and down your slit without ever penetrating even though the way you were gaping and were more stretched than before gave him the strong urge to and made him feel heady with desire and the need for more but he couldn't imagine how sensitive you are inside. he was going to keep his promise and he wouldn't even think of touching you until you've fully healed, no matter how long it takes, he can even wait up to weeks if needed. nothing comes before your comfort, not even him. he also already felt extremely guilty for causing you soreness anyways so he was fully meticulous in avoiding going near your entrance, instead tracing the swollen inner folds with patience while his other hand rested on your thigh. his lips curved up at your increasingly relieved noises.
“mmm...” you moaned softly. your clit throbbed noticeably as his fingers drew near it but his fingers skirted around it at first building anticipation instead.
“does that feel better baby? is it helping hm?” his voice had dropped to this deep timbre that always sent shivers through you and makes you wet.
“y-yes,” you squirm, your hand fisting the sheets. he grabs the tube again and adds another squeeze of gel, spreading it lower where your pussy lips met.
“we're going to repeat this a few more times later to help you recover quickly, okay sweet girl?” you nodded bashfully, your heart stuttering as he continued his work and he couldn't get enough of your facial expressions. that focused look where you looked like you were in pain but you were pleased instead. a longer breathier whine leaves you as he finally allows his gel coated fingertip to circle your clit with a little pressure purely meant to soothe it, not to apply any stimulation.
“jungkook h-hahh, right there feels so good… but don't i-i mean.. more please,” you managed to stammer between soft gasps and he chuckled fondly, his fingers never stopping.
“you're gonna get everything you want mama,” another quiet moan leaves you at the endearment, feeling pleasure in a way you've never felt before like you wanted to soak into it forever even if you weren't being brought to any release. he makes sure every single sore spot of yours gets love and attention. he continued applying massages while noting your noises and applying pressure to the place where it makes you moan louder, lifting and separating your swollen folds with his fingertips to reach every hidden crease ensuring the aloe gel coated absolutely everything. your body absolutely surrounded by him.
“mmphh,” you make a muffled noise against the pillow as he flicks your clit once again, your breasts heaving hard which were still exposed. your thighs were starting to shake but he held them gently.
“there... almost done now you're being such a good girl and letting me take care of you,” he coos at you, watching you become a writhing cute mess on the sheets. he wipes away another small trickle of your arousal, cleaning you tenderly before applying fresh gel over the spot. finally satisfied that every area had been thoroughly tended to, jungkook wiped his fingers clean on a nearby towel and you felt almost sad that it was over, you wanted him to keep going. he leans down to press a kiss just above your mound. you squeaked, hips lifting at his sudden action and the way he seemed to just kiss you at your vulnerable places with no shame at all and he smirked before pulling you close to him.
“all done for now baby... yeah? it felt really good?” he rasps as he sees your still blissed out face and a slight pout because he stopped. you were his needy girl. he sat up and reached for the wardrobe, where he pulled out one of his favorite oversized t-shirts, the fabric well worn from how often he wore it at home and right beside his clothes, he opened the smaller drawer that held all your undergarments which he knew by heart now after both of you started sharing the same space. he picked out a soft pair of cotton panties that had a light blue edge.
“i'm choosing what you wear today,” he mutters playfully. he wanted you wrapped in his clothes constantly, though he loved you naked but he loved it even more when you wore his clothes and he had a reason to take it off. he helps you sit up as you smiled shyly back at him as he slipped the t-shirt over your head, first guiding your arms through the sleeves, it brushed against your hard nubs immediately.
“there we go... so damn adorable,” he hums. next he knelt down in front of you on the floor, holding the panties open.
“lift your hips just a little for me.”
you complied with your hands on his shoulder, your heart racing as he carefully settled the panties against your gel coated cunt and he left them like that, saying it would avoid excessive friction when you tried to walk or sit. he adjusted the panty, running his fingers along the edges making sure it's not too tight on you and breathable that's why he chose the cotton ones.
“comfortable enough?” he asked, looking up at you with those intense eyes. you nodded as you couldn't help but reach down to thread your fingers through his hair, the other hand cupping his cheek.
“thank you for being this careful with me koo,” he kissed your knee tenderly before standing up to pull you against him.
“always baby, you're my absolute priority today and every day..” he says warmly as he holds you close, pressing little kisses on your hair.
“now come on, let me get dressed too, i have to feed you soon,” you watched with dazed eyes as he turned around to dress himself as he reached for a pair of boxers and sweatpants, the fabric looked almost too ordinary against the godlike perfection of his body. just as he began to step into the boxers, turning his back fully toward you, the shocking sight made you gasp. you didn't notice it fully before but now with him giving you his back, you could see the long scratches on his upper back and shoulders and half moons caused by your nails, some even looked bloody where you had clutched and dug in desperately during those shattering climaxes he's brought you. the marks trailed low to his waist, it's like he'd been clawed by an animal and you'd been completely out of mind last night to even notice that you were hurting him and he didn't seem to complain once, like he enjoyed it and the pain spurred him further.
“jungkook…” you whispered. you pushed yourself up into a sitting position on the bed. you felt so guilty that tears welled in your eyes as you imagined how much those scratches might be stinging.
“your back… oh god it looks so bad, i'm so sorry—” your voice breaks.
“i didn't realize that i scratched you that much,” he paused mid motion with the sweatpants he held loosely in one hand and glanced over his shoulder at you with a lazy smile, a strand of wet hair falling messily over his forehead as his eyes sparked with mischief.
“hey it's okay baby, i like it.” he lets out a pleased murmur.
“these marks? it means i fucked you good and you marked me angel. i'm actually proud of them,” his words made you weak at the knees but you shook your head firmly.
“no please... it's bloody in some places and the skin looks raw. it must hurt more than you're letting on,” you insisted with genuine worry as you gazed up at him pleadingly.
“you took care of me all morning, now let me do something for you. at least let me care for you too..” you whimper.
“please?” you add when he doesn't reply as your eyes are wide and shimmering as you reach out a hand toward him. he studied your face for a long time, those dark eyes of his softening with understanding, his own heart swelling inside his chest from the way you want to take care of him too. it makes him want to get on his knees because he didn't deserve that one bit but here you were pleading to make it all better for him like no one ever has. it makes him wanna keep you to him forever selfishly and never let you go as his brows furrow at the center.
“you're really worried about me huh?” he takes your hand pressing it against his stomach while he cups one of your cheeks, not being able to help himself as he leans down to peck your lips.
“alright baby.. if it'll make my sweet girl happy, i'll let you play doctor,” he said with a smile, tossing the sweatpants carelessly aside onto the floor. with fluid grace he climbed back into the bed with a groan, the mattress dipping under his muscular weight as he stretched out fully on his stomach. he folded his arms beneath the pillow, turning his head to the side. his body lay displayed before you like a masterpiece. him being closer to you now gave you an even better view of the scratches on his skin and you stared a bit shocked at first. his insane masculinity always seemed to take your breath away and how unbearably handsome he was with such a perfect physique. how was he real? and also the fact that he knew exactly what to do without you telling him, your legs squeezed together slightly beneath his t-shirt.
“come here. i'm all yours to take care of,” he added, his voice muffled slightly by the pillow. the invitation from him makes heat swirl on your belly once more as you try to focus on his scars instead of yourself. if you weren't so sore, you'd probably beg him to fuck you once more. you moved toward him and straddled his hips slowly, your clothed pussy pressing directly against the small of his back. you gasped softly at the feeling of his hard muscle pressing against you even if you're wearing panties, your hands pressing against his back. you gulped nervously, hoping he doesn't notice it but judging by the tension in his body, he probably did and his hard on wasn't willing to go away one bit, the guy was stubborn indeed. a spark of renewed arousal went through you as you took a deep breath and reached for the small white tube of antiseptic cream on the bedside table that was halfway finished from you using it on him when he was injured from the accident. he has healed perfectly well since then and didn't need it anymore but the cream stayed there after you forgot to remove it. you squeezed a small amount on your finger.
“i'm going to apply this to the cuts so it doesn't cause any infections okay?” you croon.
“hmm whatever you think works well baby,” he nods. you leaned forward, your breasts brushing on his back as you slowly began to apply the cream on the raised areas. you started with the long angry line that goes down his back, spreading it slowly, a sad whimper leaving you as you noticed a bit of blood starting to build up.
“i-i'm so sorry again, i didn't wanna—” your words were interrupted by him.
“mama if you apologize once more, i'm gonna spank that ass red so you match with me, do you want that?” he turns his head to look at you with one of his brows raised, his eyes softening when he sees the worry in your eyes.
“keep going okay? your hands feel so nice on me baby, i don't need any apologies,” he encouraged softly. you bite your lower lip and continue smoothing the ointment into the inflamed areas as jungkook hums with contentment that vibrates through his entire body up into your straddling pussy. the sound was so rich and manly, it made you weak in the knees. you leaned even closer, his noises motivating you further as you tended to a particularly deep mark. you couldn't help but lean down to press a kiss on the scratch where you didn't apply the ointment yet.
“y/n,” he breathes out your name so wantonly at your kiss that your entire body reacts. you placed another kiss on another of the scratches you left before applying more medicine and tending to him with your kisses that he seems to like. your fingers went lower, spreading the cream near his waist that allowed you to feel every ridge. you straddled him more securely to get better access lost in taking care of him, your pussy pressed more firmly against him and it sent a slight friction that made your movements falter, a wet spot forming on your panties already and the aloe that was already there on your heat made everything extra slick. looking at the deepest scratch of his reminded you of when that happened when he'd finally put his cock inside you all the way inside, bulging your stomach and the other one that occurred when he'd started pounding you and making you cum so quick that you couldn't help but grab at him while overwhelmed with sensations.
“i got so distracted...” you whispered between kisses along the red lines, your tongue comes out to trace a line near his stomach.
“fuck,” he lets out a muffled growl.
“i didn't even know i was marking you like this... but knowing you like them makes me feel a little better.”
“and i loved every second of it,” he affirms quietly as your fingers worked diligently over the lower marks, his body shifting subtly beneath you at the attention.
“your nails digging into me, your legs wrapped so tight around my waist like you never wanted me to pull out… shit… you drive me crazy you know that?” you shiver hard against him, your body melting into him fully until you are hugging him from behind and he yanks you close by the back of your thighs until there is not a single space between you both, fully merged together. you meanwhile, finished with the final mark. you smoothed the cream one last time, making sure all the cuts were covered then capped the tube and set it aside. you chose instead to stay exactly where you were, leaning down to rest your cheek against his shoulder as both of you breathed together. he grabbed your hand, interlacing it with his big one, the desire of pleasure and adoration mixing together like the perfect blend. you both didn't have to talk to show it but your bodies did. skin to skin, heartbeat to heartbeat, with the peacefulness of the morning. pure love and sex. lots of it.
“thank you angel,” he lets out huskily. you placed one final kiss to a fading scratch, holding him tighter and he knew everything you ever wanted to say, everything you had in your heart for him and he knew that he was the luckiest man alive to have you. he stroked the back of your thigh absentmindedly holding onto each other like you had all the time in the world.
after a while more of soaking into each other, jungkook decided to take you to the kitchen and yes of course, he carried you to the kitchen once again, you joked about how long he would be carrying you and he said that he wouldn't mind doing it for the rest of his life. you were scared that he wasn't joking at all. he now stood at the stove, his broad back at you, wearing nothing but only a pair of loose black sweatpants and shirtless, he has put his hair in a man bun already after blow drying it. the first thing he always does right after waking up is make your coffee and he's already handed you a cup. the smell of butter reached your nose as he stirred the pancake batter. he moved with confidence, flipping the pancake. he was probably the only man you've seen who held such practiced ease when it came to his work life and also when it came to household chores. seeing how caring and attentive he was made you feel emotional because he proved that the stereotype that men don’t cook or clean isn’t true. you sat at the kitchen island on a stool and you shifted slightly. hard surfaces made you ache, every movement reminded you of how he'd filled you so well.
“baby are you okay sitting there?” jungkook asked, glancing over his shoulder.
“if it's too much, i can bring everything to the couch. i don't want you hurting more than you already do,” that was who he was, knowing your discomfort without even saying anything.
“i'm fine koo, it's okay... just a little soreness,” but he didn't look convinced at all so he brought a cushion for you and finally felt relaxed, then he plated the breakfast into two plates, yours holding the most fruits because he knows you love them and sat beside you turning to cup your cheek.
“good sore or bad sore?”
“good one… you made me feel better,” you whispered and leaned into his touch. jungkook pressed a peck against your lips, his tongue tracing the seam of your mouth before slipping away, his hand gripping your thigh.
“eat first. i made your favorite and extra berries because i know you like the sweetness… after everything,” he pulled back reluctantly, adjusting himself with a groan. he knew you were hungry and wanted you to eat before he just kept touching and kissing you to his fill. you picked up the fork and took a bite of the pancake.
“mmm this is amazing koo. you didn't have to do all this.”
“of course i did,” he murmured. his one hand stayed on your back while the other fed himself. every few bites he'd lean in to nuzzle against you. as you ate, bam padded into the kitchen, his tail wagging excitedly at the smell and jungkook chuckled warmly.
“hey buddy, you hungry too?” he reached down to scratch bam's ears and then cut a small piece of pancake and offered it to the dog who took it happily from his fingers. you giggled softly, reaching down as well to pet him.
“come here bamie, good boy,” you fed him a berry as well and bam licked your palm, his nose nudging your knee and you cooed and rubbed his back. jungkook watched with a fond smile, his hand now resting higher on your thigh, thumb brushing the edge of your pussy accidentally, making you gasp.
“careful,” you breathed.
“still so sensitive there.”
“fuck sorry,” he didn't pull away entirely, instead letting his fingers rest innocently while he ate.
“i can't keep my hands off you but i promise i'm behaving mostly,” he gruffs out smugly. you scoffed, trying hard to keep up with both the needy boys' attention while you tried to finish eating. the time unfolded like that in the domestic intimacy and his care, he couldn't stop touching you and carried you from the kitchen to the couch, settling you against his chest under a soft blanket. bam curled up beside you after he finished having his own food too but you couldn't help but give him more treats. hours passed like that, lazy conversations about nothing and everything. your cheeks reddened whenever you felt bam's eyes on you with jungkook being touchy but he seemed completely at ease now like he was very used to it. bam was used to seeing both his parents together and in fact, it overjoyed him seeing his favorite humans together. just you, him and bam and everything was perfect.
it was late in the afternoon now. the tv's volume was turned down, that none of you were paying attention to. it was a comforting sound in the background and the occasional rustle of blankets that was draped over your intertwined bodies. jungkook was nestled against you, his big frame molded between you, his head resting heavily yet comfortingly on your breasts using them as his personal pillows as one of his strong arms was slung across your waist holding onto you. his hand cupped the underside of one breast tenderly, almost in an attempt to support its full weight as if it were something precious, his other hand caressing your bare skin under his shirt, feeling your breasts rise and fall with your quick breaths.
“mm... these are my favorite pillows in the whole world,” jungkook murmurs against you. he turned his head, pressing an open mouthed kiss to the generous curve of one breast, his tongue coming out to trace along the fabric leaving it wet with his saliva as goosebumps erupt all over you with anticipation.
“so soft… and full, i could stay here forever… mm… just like this.. buried in you,” he nuzzled further into your breasts and you let out a giggle at his words, biting your lower lip.
“you're acting like a baby right now...” you whisper beside his ear.
“your baby? fuck yes,” he grunts approvingly. your fingers threaded deeply into his hair as you began to absentmindedly massage it but when you noticed that he seemed to enjoy it a little too much, you turned your full attention to him. your nails grazed a little at first before pressing in with more intention, scratching slightly in the contours of his skull. the sensation elicited an immediate profound response from him, his entire body melting into yours like putty and his deep growl sends shivers through you as well.
“koo… does that feel good?” you asked as a smile played on your lips continuing your ministrations, enjoying the feel of the big brooding ceo being a mess on your breasts from your attention as both his arms wrap tighter around your waist pulling you fully into him. your fingers tugged gently at the roots that seemed to unravel him completely, watching as his eyelids fluttered and his lips parted in ecstasy.
“yeah...” he groaned throatily, feeling the rawness he only ever showed you in these private moments.
“don't stop,” your hands in his hair drive him crazy every time it feels like you're pulling all the tension out of him. he rubbed his face side to side almost like a cat inhaling your scent greedily as if you were the oxygen he lived for, his loose hair now thoroughly tousled and tangled from your loving attention. every precise scratch of your nails made his back arch subtly and his hips shift beneath the blanket as his body grew heavier with each passing second but he didn't put his entire weight on you, knowing how tiny you are and even if you're doing better, he knows your body is still weak. his fingers ran over your belly beneath the shirt, stroking the skin there exploring and squeezing your softness and the curve of your hips.
“i love every inch of you,” he said quietly. he just can't get enough of your tits, he'd happily die being squished between them. his head shifted, turning to capture one nipple through the fabric, sucking into it and you were so hard that the nub was prodding out very well for him to suck onto it, his tongue circling around.
“ahh…” you squealed sharply at his sudden action, your head falling back causing more of your breast to press into his eager mouth. even with having a barrier of fabric between you both, it made everything so intense.
“koo,” you whined, the words holding no true protest as your fingers tightened in his hair pulling him even closer. he released your nipple with an obscene pop, lifting his gaze to meet yours with his half lidded gleaming eyes.
“i just wanted to feel you, taste you a little… i've been thinking about these pretty tits all day,” he reassures though his actions spoke otherwise as your lips part, lost in sensations too. his tongue flicked out again to circle the hard peak before it switched to the other breast, lavishing it with the same attention pulling the nipple between his tongue in a way that makes your toes curl tightly.
“uh… mmm.” you moan feeling everything heightened.
“y-you're so obsessed with them,” you teased as you kept playing with his hair, tugging more causing another delicious moan to leave him as he stopped sucking your nipple and rested his head on one of them instead.
“obsessed with every part of you,” he corrected reverently. he knew he'd lose control if he pulled your shirt up to reveal your breasts to his eyes so he had his fill with just this instead, feeling you respond to his mouth. his hand rested on your ass cheek, just a warm pressure rather than a demand not being able to help himself, his cock pressed down on the couch searching for friction desperately from the blue balls he had from ignoring his hard on since the morning. instead his hips rolled forward, letting you feel his hard insistent length against your thigh without pressing it against your sensitivity.
“feel that?” he asks.
“that's what you do to me just lying here with your tits in my face… i'm so fucking hard for you baby,” his voice breaks. you reached down between your bodies with eager fingers now that he's not stopping you because you wanted him to feel good too. you didn't like how much he was holding himself back for you, you could at least provide him a little relief. you wrapped your hand around his clothed erection feeling how he was pulsing and rock hard as you stroked him with a squeeze, feeling the wetness of his precum soaking through. he groaned as if you made him cum and his groan ended in a small whimper that was so sexy that it made your thighs tremble around his body and he gave a suckle on your nipple once again in gratitude, leaving two wet patches on the shirt.
“like this?” you asked softly, continuing the strokes that drew more noises from him.
“god yes, just like that baby,” he panted against your chest.
“your hands feel incredible,” he had never been so desperate but last night having you and denying himself anything while having you close today, touching your sensitive places had left him wanton. the minutes seemed to pass like that with occasional sucking and stroking, rubbing his face between your pillowy breasts while you play with his hair. your own arousal was starting to build feeling your clit throb but he remained so sweetly restrained. eventually when he couldn't take it anymore, his hips started to rock into your fist and after a while he remove your hand gently, not wanting to cross the boundaries he promised today. he was happy to just have you close. he also realized that you were getting tired, a yawn leaving you as you settled against him, sinking further in the coziness from the movements and the low lighting. jungkook lifted his head to place a kiss against your cheek which you returned with purr like noise making him chuckle warmly.
“getting sleepy my angel?” he whispered.
“mhm no...” you murmured trying your best for him to stay awake and not leave him hanging but your eyes were fluttering closed.
“shh… get some sleep love. i got you,” he waited a few more minutes, forgetting about his erection as you slept deeply and so peacefully before he cradled you against him and carried you slowly upwards toward your shared bedroom so your sleep doesn't get disturbed. he laid you down, watching you sleep with a smile before placing a lingering kiss against your forehead.
the next morning you and jungkook were in the kitchen once again. you were in front of the coffee machine while his body was pressed close behind you, arms wrapped around you fingers stroking your thigh under the shorts you wore. every brush of his fingertips made your breath hitch lightly. jungkook nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, pressing a kiss there, making you smell the mint in his breath from when he'd brushed his teeth earlier. he couldn't stop holding you, being clingy and you loved every second of it as you turned your head meeting his gaze.
“kook… what about your work today?” he chuckled lowly.
“work can wait for two days. my wife's more important, especially after...” his fingers dipped lower.
“how's my girl feeling today?” his tone was concerned making your heart squeeze.
“i'm okay… doing much better,” you whisper. you were in fact doing so much better, the soreness was now reduced to sensitivity and he made the effort of applying aloe gel once again before you slept last night and throughout the night you felt like it did its job. it was all because of him. before you could say more, a knock echoed, mrs. kim had arrived for her usual duties as she let herself in with the spare key. she came inside the kitchen with fresh groceries, a bright grin on her face as she took in the sight of both of you. jungkook didn't pull away, instead he stayed glued against you with not a single care, his hand still rubbing circles on your thigh.
“good morning mr. and mrs. jeon. happy to see you both here,” she said cheerfully in her usual maternal tone. jungkook grinned, leaning in to press a kiss against your neck right there in front of her, his hand squeezing your thigh firmly.
“wouldn't miss a day with her. look at my wife mrs. kim. isn't she glowing?” his breath fanned over your ear.
mrs. kim laughed warmly, “oh she sure is the most beautiful,” he shifted subtly, pressing his bulge against your hip from behind. it wasn't noticeable if someone else saw it from afar but you felt it proper and clear making your eyes widen. you gasped, pushing hard against his chest but he wouldn't budge. you looked at mrs. kim with wide eyes, who was already busy unpacking the vegetables.
“jungkook! not in front of mrs. kim…” but he kept you pressed against him, a chuckle leaving him, both of you in a distance where she won't be able to hear you.
“she knows we're married, let me love on you,” you squirmed embarrassed even though her attention was diverted, pressing a hand against his chest.
“koo behave.”
“can't. you're too tempting,” as his bulge pressed against you harder, his hips gave a subtle roll, you finally broke out of his hold with red cheeks but an excitement in your eyes as you huffed and started walking upstairs and he followed you like a lost puppy. mrs. kim smiled to herself as she worked.
“young love...”
but she knew that this young love would last between the both of you for several years to come and she prayed that's how it would always remain.
you both had a light breakfast and then you decided to spend some time in the home library he'd built for you, reading a book with him by your side watching you with soft eyes. he loves seeing you happy here. he'd also handled some important work calls that he received from his office. after he finishes his recent call, he walks to you.
“i need to work out a bit,” he murmurs against your mouth.
“haven't done it properly in a couple of days. doors open for you yeah? you can come whenever you want,” his thumb stroked your cheek.
“don't stay away too long okay?”
you nodded as he kissed you once more, sucking onto your bottom lip before releasing it with a pop. he stood up stretching his arms, causing the hem of his t-shirt to ride up, letting you see the v-line of and you gulped.
“see you baby,” he added with a smirk and you blushed, knowing his intentions too well. you continued reading for a while more but after a few minutes you couldn’t focus and couldn’t stop thinking of his invitation. you wandered around the house, feeling the persistent throb of want between your legs, not knowing what to do and mrs. kim has left as well after finishing her chores. so you decided to visit jungkook. you grabbed a cold bottle of water from the fridge and a fresh white towel of his from the closet and padded down the hallway. you stopped at the open doorway of the home gym, standing at a distance but you could see him clearly from here. jungkook was in the middle of intense pushups, shirtless now as his body glistened with sweat, his muscles flexing hard with every rise, veins standing out as he gripped the weights next. you could also see the shape of his cock beneath his pants and the bulge of him. you felt a jolt of arousal at the sight, your thighs squeezing together, almost immediately heat was all over you. you shifted on your feet watching him transfixed and shocked at how effortlessly he moved those heavy dumbbells. you completely forgot that you might be caught staring at him. jungkook paused mid rep, his eyes catching yours in the mirror. a slow knowing smirk spread across his face, sweat dripping down his jaw as he set the weights down and turned toward you, his chest heaving with exertion.
“hey baby.”
“couldn't stay away huh? come here,” he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and you stepped closer, holding out the cold water bottle and towel with a racing heart.
“thought you might need these,” you replied.
“thanks love,” he twisted the cap off and tilted his head back, drinking as you watched with parted lips the way his adam's apple bobbed up and down, some droplets of water escaping the corner of his mouth trailing down his neck. he finished half the bottle in one go, letting out a satisfied grunt and wiping his mouth with the towel you offered, his eyes never leaving yours. he looks so masculine doing it. his hand comes up to cup the back of your neck, thumb stroking the skin there.
“bringing me water like a good wife…” he didn't give you any time to react, he suddenly scooped you up with ease and carried you to the weight bench nearby.
“sit here.”
he said settling you down on the edge of the bench, your shorts riding up high as you settled, the material stretching over the curve of your ass and molding to the shape of your pussy making you acutely aware of how wet you were getting from jungkook's presence and his words. his eyes darkened as he noticed, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. he could see everything, your shorts highlight the shape of your pussy lewdly and he couldn't help but adjust himself balantly in his pants while he pretended to not notice it. he went back to his workout. now that you were here watching him, he felt more confident and better. each rep made his abs twitch and his back muscles contract where your scratches were but have started healing. you couldn't help but focus on his lower portion of the body and did you ever mention how attractive his butt was too? so muscular in its own way and he just looked so grabble, his pants were molded tight against his butt and his bulge tenting his prominently that he made no effort in hiding. he was enjoying it too, you could tell by the way his eyes kept flicking to you in the mirror, that smug look still on his face. though he made no comments and continued doing his thing wanting your eyes on him, feeling himself strong and desired with just your eyes alone. he did a few more pushups, his chest heaving as he sweated even more, his pants sliding down a bit to reveal his tempting v-line that you can never get enough of and the happy trail of hair. his biceps and arms were pumped to their absolute limits, veins looking like they might just burst as he picked up the heaviest lifts. he used it for a few seconds before settling them down with a loud noise as you watched, shocked because a normal man would probably break his arm picking that up. he stood up to his full height panting, pushing out the stray hair that had fallen out of his man bun. his hooded eyes found yours, locking in such an intense way that your pussy responded with a hard throb. the smirk deepened as he reached for the towel once again to wipe the sweat away from his face and neck and even that act seemed sensual to you as you watched his abs contract and his hard cock which was now fully visible, growing fuller by the second under your stare.
“like what you see?” he murmurs, laced with equal parts of heat and amusement as he tosses the damp towel aside, letting it land in a heap on the floor and takes a step closer toward you. the sheer power he exerted made you heady and the addictive scent of sweat and clean male.
“you've been watching me the entire time haven't you? tell me sweetheart, do you like it? because i'm hard as fuck knowing you're sitting there with that wet little pussy pressed against the bench,” he lets out a growl. you gasped at his words, your eyes falling on your fidgeting hands, desperately trying to avert your eyes from him and his delicious body but it was utterly impossible and you knew exactly how fixed his eyes were on your legs clenched together.
“i... i just wanted to bring you some water,” you let out an excuse, squirming under his stare. jungkook lets out a low chuckle as he closed the remaining distance in one fluid motion.
“sure you did but your eyes were glued to my arms... my chest… lower,” he reached out large hands, gripping your waist firmly and he pulled you flush against him, your body pressing against his sweaty one though it didn't bother you one bit, it turned you on further. his cock nestled tight against your lower belly as he held you close, his hand sliding beneath your tiny tank top.
“look at me,” he whispered, breathing hotly against your lips. as you looked up to face him, he captured your mouth in a deep kiss that stole the air from your lungs. his tongue slides inside your mouth, tangling with yours doing the sex act with his tongue that makes your sock clad feet wrap around his waist. you could taste the saltiness of his sweat too, your hands coming up to clutch at his broad shoulders as he nibbles on your bottom lip making you moan against his mouth that he swallows. his hand squeezed and kneaded your ass cheek pulling you even tighter against his erection, grinding you down onto it, both of you letting out shared groans. he broke the kiss after what felt like an eternity, trailing his lips along the line of your jaw biting suddenly making you whimper then soothing the bite with the swipe of his tongue.
“fuckk i love how you feel on me like this,” he groaned deeply. he pulled you onto his lap making you straddle him on the bench, your core settling directly over his massive bulge now only thin fabrics separating you both.
“mmph,” you mewled as his hands groped you wherever he could while he nuzzled into the crook of your shoulder, pressing little kisses.
“does it bother you that i'm all sweaty and worked up princess?” he murmured into your ear, tongue coming out to lap at your earlobe making you shiver and grab his shoulder harder. he licks a long stripe with his tongue from your jaw to your neck making your entire body shake.
“or does it turn you on ever more? knowing your husband pushed himself so hard here and all i could think about the whole time was coming back to this tight pussy and make it feel so fucking good mm?” you sobbed at his words also at the way his hand comes out to possessively cup you over your shorts, the heel of his palm pressing there, he slips it to the side to reveal your panties already soaked through and clinging to your folds.
“j-jungkook..”
he lets out an appreciative noise as he helps you get out of your shorts before pushing the panty to the side using two fingers running them along your slit, gathering the wetness and spreading it upward over your clit.
“uh...” you crooned. your back arched in his lap, it felt so good when he touched you unrestrained since he knew you were no longer too sore as he continued his exploration, thumb pressing against your clit rubbing the bud slowly while he groped your breasts, the impatience in him making you moan louder. he pulled your tank top down to make your breasts bounce out, a satisfied growl leaving him because you didn't wear any bra and latched onto one nipple while his fingers tweaked the other one like he was so hungry for it because he couldn't focus on your breasts yesterday with the barrier of his shirt. his fingers slide up and down your dripping folds too, dipping just barely into your entrance before retreating to rub tight circles around your clit, leaving your hips chasing his fingers grinding down against his cock. jungkook pulled back slightly as he gazed down at your expression.
“i love eating this sweet pussy more than anything. i wanna eat it right now.” he snarls.
“do it… please.”
“yeah? want me to devour this cunt?” he questions huskily and you nod frantically, your legs parting even more for him. he shifted you higher, repositioning you on the bench so he could bend down between your legs watching your pussy clench for him. he licked a long stripe from your entrance to your clit making you cry out, your thighs shaking around his head as he lapped at your juices, he hummed into you.
“unnghhh… hnnngh…” you keened at the way he eats at you like he was starving. he held you, spreading his hands on your ass cheeks as he devoured you completely using rapid targeted movements on your clit, this time penetrating you with his tongue making your hips press hard into his mouth.
“still aching inside baby?” he asked during a brief pause, breath hitting against your soaked pussy.
“n-no i w-want you inside.. please,” you plead desperately.
“mhm?” he coaxed you using two of his fingers teasing at your entrance, circling your slit waiting for your consent as he continued to lick and suck with devotion. when you whimpered loudly, did he finally slide one finger in but oh so slowly, curling it upward taking his time to not intentionally hurt your still battered pussy while his mouth lavished attention on your clit.
“yes! right-right there nngh!” he lets out a snarl at your words adding a second finger shortly after, not wasting time and wanting you to come to the satisfying release you've wanted after losing your virginity. he gently pumps both his fingers, always monitoring your reactions as he brought you closer and closer to the edge. your hips started rolling into his fingers grinding down into it and he encouraged it by moving your hips.
“that's it such a good girl. use my fingers,” he watched you take his fingers deeper with lust all over his face, your moans growing dirtier and louder as the pleasure built and how he seemed to curl his fingers whenever you ground down. he also does this twisting motion with his fingers that makes you sob out.
“you like it when i twist my fingers angel?”
“yes—yes—yes—” your voice breaks on a sob as his nose rubs against you too, making everything slick and messy.
“i-i'm so close koo,” you squealed out, fingers gripping onto his hair as you felt like you might pass out. having his fingers a while after he gave you his cock made everything so much more intense.
“cum for me, give me every last drop,” he urged you commandingly as he sucked harder on your clit and pumped his fingers faster but still being careful.
“ohh!” a cry left you as the orgasm washed over you. your entire body trembles, pussy pulsing and clenching around his fingers while you gush onto his eager tongue.
“fuck yes,” he lapped every bit of your release like he was dying for it, his fingers slowing but remaining buried inside you to prolong every spasm until you were fully boneless and murmuring his name constantly. he continued licking you through the aftershocks, cleaning the clear liquid that you'd spurted out without overwhelming you further. finally so slowly, he withdrew his glistening fingers, bringing them up to his mouth to suck them clean too while maintaining eye contact with you.
“mhm… i could eat this pussy all day long.”
he stood up bringing you on his arms, letting you come back down to him, letting you catch your breath, his heart pounding as he watched the dazed smile on your face.
“you did so good for me,” he fills you with praises until you feel it on every corner of your body.
at night the same day you both lay tangled under the sheets, you were flush against his chest one of his strong arms wrapped around your waist, your legs intertwined, and his hand rubbing up and down your arm soothingly. his thigh was between your legs, keeping you fully cuddled in him.
“you okay baby?” he murmurs as he realizes that you're deep in thought, not falling asleep. you signed into his chest, your hand coming up to grip his shirt. you paused gathering your thoughts when he waited for you to speak up.
“jungkook... mrs. han called me today,” he hummed in acknowledgement, tilting his head down so his eyes could meet yours.
“yeah? what did she say?” he asked as his hand stroked your back comfortingly as you took a deep breath, your fingers tracing on his chest as you spoke.
“she asked how i was doing… how we were doing. actually she knew about the accident and everything that happened between us. she sounded really worried at first but i told her i'm okay now, better than okay,” you smiled faintly, lifting your gaze to his.
“she misses me at the bookstore, things are not the same without me there. i.. i told her i miss it too, the smell of books, helping people find books. i've been home since your accident and our argument a-and it feels like i've been hiding away from that part of my life...”
jungkook's eyes softened instantly in understanding as he shifted to pull you even closer to him and cupped your cheek with one hand, thumb brushing tenderly over your lower lip.
“baby… you've been through so much. i know that job means a lot to you, it was your independence before everything got so messed up,” he knew how important your job is to you and how much of an anchor it was even before marrying him. you nodded, feeling a lump in your throat.
“i wanna go back koo, not full time maybe at first but... i miss feeling normal, not just... being here all the time even though i love being with you,” your voice grew nervous.
“after the accident and our fight i kind of shut everything out but talking to her today made me realize how much i want that back,” he was silent for a moment just holding you, increasing your anxiety even more but he finally leans down to press a kiss against your forehead reverently.
“look at me...”
he tipped your chin up with his finger to make you meet his eyes properly.
“you don't need my permission for any of that okay? not ever in this marriage, it's not about me controlling you or keeping you locked away, i want you happy. if going back to the bookstore does that then so be it. i'll support you however you need,” he felt bad because you even thought that you needed to ask for something that's completely up to you and he'd never ever stop you from doing what you love or snatch away your freedom like the bastard of your father tried to. he wanted you happy and would support all of your decisions. even if he absolutely wouldn't mind letting you stay at home if you wanted that as well and didn't wanna work, he'd spoil you endlessly but it's completely up to you and he'd happily support whatever decision you made.
“just promise me you'll let me be there for you?” you felt tears prick at your eyes not from sadness but from the safety his words provided. how being loved by him didn't feel like being in a cage but like getting new wings as a wounded bird to fly high.
“thank you,” you whispered, hand curling tighter on his chest.
“i was nervous to bring it up… i didn't know how you'd feel about me leaving the house once again,” jungkook chuckled as he rolled you gently onto your back hovering partially over you, one hand propping him up as he cupped your cheek.
“nervous?” he teased lightly but his eyes were full of love, not mockery.
“baby i'm so proud of you. you've come so far and yeah, i love having you here… but i fell for the girl who loves her books and her freedom. don't lose that okay?”
“we'll figure out the balance together,” a teary laugh left you, pulling him down for another kiss, your legs wrapping loosely around one of his. your tears falling onto the kiss, your heart feeling like it might burst. you never thought you'd have a man like him in your life as he wiped your tears away murmuring comforting words against your lips. that he'd forever be there being the supportive pillar for you to achieve everything you've wanted and you believed so with every bit of your heart.
the next morning you both were still glued to each other even though the sun had risen. jungkook's warm chest pressed against your back as he spooned you holding you like he never wanted to let go, his breaths falling on your neck, his one leg draped over you and the morning wood he had pressed against your back. he nuzzled closer when he felt you move and placed a kiss on your shoulder.
“mmm baby... don't move yet,” he murmurs.
“just five more minutes…”
he didn't wanna let you go so soon and you both had discussed wanting to get back to work together again and he dreaded it immediately. you smiled sleepily, turning your head slightly to meet his sleepy gaze.
“koo… we have to get up eventually,” you whispered but your body betrayed you, sinking deeper into his arms. his hand freely slid higher to cup your thigh.
“i know. i know,” he groaned, playfully pressing a kiss to the side of your neck sucking a mark.
“but how am i supposed to let you go to work when all i want is to keep you right here mhmm?” his hips rolled forward once slowly letting you feel his hard cock nestle between your ass cheeks, making you let out a long gasp. not pushing for more, just savoring the closeness. you turned fully in his arms, facing him now as your hands roamed on his chest. he kissed you then, his tongue teased yours while his fingers threaded through your hair, none of you seemed to pull away first as the kiss grew more heated with nips and sighs until the breathlessness made you pull back. reluctantly after many more whispered protests and kisses.
“just one more,” he'd say each time. you both finally started to get up and get ready. jungkook sat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his messy hair watching you with a lazy smile as you moved around the room. you picked out one of your favorite dark suits on him, laying it out for him to wear.
“this one.” you said.
“you look so handsome in it,” he pulled you between his legs, hands on your hips, resting his forehead against your stomach.
“only because you choose it for me,” he started getting ready, buttoning up his shirt while he stole kisses from your lips as you both got dressed side by side. when it came to the tie, he didn't have to call for you as you naturally stood up on your tiptoes to tie it and he watched your focused expression with adoration, hands resting on your waist.
“you're spoiling me.” he murmurs.
“i don't deserve this you know?”
“you do.” you huffed your reply, adjusting the knot perfectly then smoothing it down his chest like you always did since the first day. he caught your hands, kissing your knuckles one by one, lingering on the promise ring that you never took off. playfulness took over as he tugged you onto his side making you giggle.
“jungkook!” but he only pressed his face against your neck making you squirm, both your laughter erupting and his hands roaming on your back, squeezing your ass affectionately.
“can’t stop thinking about how tight you were that night… how you moaned my name when i bottomed out,” he lets out a grunt.
“we'll be late,” you gasped even though his words made your legs tremble a bit.
“finee,” he reluctantly agreed with an exaggerated tone on the word making you grin.
you both headed out and jungkook drove with one hand on the wheel, the other holding your thigh. he had dismissed the driver saying he wanted to drive you there himself. he also decided to buy breakfast outside as he pulled up to your favorite cafe drivethru, ordering without hesitation, your favorite latte and the pastry you like. he had it memorized perfectly. when he paid pulling out his wallet for the card, you caught a glimpse inside, a small candid photo of you smiling softly from the sunny beach day at the maldives. you didn't say anything but your eyes glistened with sudden happy tears. you hadn’t cried much lately and when you did in his presence, it was never from fear or pain anymore. only joy. only love. you blinked quickly, not saying anything but the realization hit you deeply... he carried you with him everywhere. the drive to the library was peaceful, his hand brushing your thigh and he kept glancing at you. at the library, jungkook walked you inside himself. immediately visitors and staff gawked at him with wide eyes because of the aura jungkook carried. mrs. han looked up from the counter, a smile on her face with happiness at seeing you together like this.
“mrs. han,” jungkook nodded politely.
“i’m bringing her back today. take good care of my wife yeah?” she nodded, beaming.
“of course.”
he then turned to you, not caring that there were other people looking and pulled you close.
“have the best day baby,” he cupped your face, kissing you and you whimpered into his mouth when you heard gasps from others around as they pretended to not look. he pulled back slightly, placing another peck thumb stroking your cheek.
“text me if you need anything. i will pick you up later if you want,” you blushed furiously but smiled.
“i will… drive safe.”
he lingered for a moment longer, forehead pressing against yours before stepping back and you felt the sudden coldness in his absence. your time in the library passed with distracted focus. you felt great being back to your usual routine of moving through the stacks of books and arranging them and helping the customers find books, though in every quiet moment you stood there smiling to yourself as you thought about jungkook and every little moment spent with him. that you missed him already even if you didn't want to admit that. mrs. han approached you, patting your arm.
“i'm so glad you're back dear. you seem happier, everything is going well right?” she asked worriedly. you smiled shyly and nodded.
“i am, really happier than ever,” and mrs. han believed so with the look on your face that you were indeed the happiest.
after a few hours of working you just couldn't stay still, your thoughts kept drifting to him making your chest tight with longing. it had only been a few hours since he left for the office but his kisses were still branded on you, the way his forehead had lingered on yours before he reluctantly pulled away played on repeat in your mind. without informing him, you decided it was time for a surprise as you told mrs. han with nervous excitement that you'll be taking an early leave which she allowed with a knowing smile of hers. you've never been to his office before so you were taking a bold move by doing it yourself. you grabbed your bag and headed out, finding the usual driver of jungkook's that has been there driving you around even before the bond between you and jungkook started forming, he was a kind respectful man.
“could you take me to jungkook's office please?”
“of course mrs. jeon. it'll be my pleasure,” he nodded with a bow. the drive to the office had you shifting in your seat with anticipation and overthinking, how would he react? would he possibly be mad? no that's not jungkook at all, he'd rather hurt himself than become angry at you. your thighs pressed together subtly from the passionate nights spent together with him. how he had left you wanting more and your heart was racing, you missed him.
by the time the car pulled up to the high modern company, you stepped out feeling a bit out of place in such a luxurious big place. you stepped inside and approached the front desk. the woman behind the counter looked up at you with a professional smile.
“good afternoon. how may i help you?”
“i'm y/n, i'm here to see my husband jeon jungkook,” the woman's eyes widened slightly in recognition but she hesitated, her fingers hovering over the phone.
“do you have an appointment ma'am? mr. jeon is quite busy today and we usually require prior notice for visitors,” her words carried a tone that made your stomach twist with insecurity, though you held your ground. before you could respond, she picked up the phone and dialed speaking in a hushed tone. it was as if she were used to different women coming here in an attempt to meet jungkook so she didn't trust you easily. you watched, assuming the conversation shifted quickly because her face paled. you couldn't hear everything but the change in her expression was immediate.
“what do you mean you're stopping her? that's my wife, how dare you question her right to be here?” you caught fragments of his angry voice as the woman started stammering.
“i'm sorry mr. jeon. i didn't realize... yes of course, right away,” she hung up turning to you with wide eyes, looking at you like she's almost about to cry.
“i'm terribly sorry mrs. jeon. please go right up the private elevator to the top floor,” you felt a flush on your cheeks at the way jungkook had defended you so fiercely claiming you as his wife, it made you feel protected and cherished in his world. he never saw you below him like men with huge status does, he saw you like his equal. with a soft “thank you,” you made your way to the private elevator and waited until it dinged open to jungkook's private domain that no one was allowed to. as you stepped further inside, your eyes landed on a familiar figure on the couch near the windows. taehyung was dressed in a grey suit as he casually scrolled on his phone, one arm draped over the back of the couch like it was his place too. the last time you had seen him in the hospital room where he had revealed painful truths and donated blood to save jungkook, it was full of tension.. everything felt so heavy, now the atmosphere was entirely different. taehyung looked up, genuine surprise on his face after seeing you before it softened, he stood up slowly pocketing his phone.
“hey… it's you y/n.” he said.
“didn't expect to see you here today. jungkook didn't mention you were coming,” you offered a small shy smile, your fingers twisting the hem of your blouse nervously as you approached. he didn't look as intimidating as he did at the hospital.
“hi taehyung, yeah um.. it was a last minute decision,” your heart pounded, not being used to another man's presence without jungkook around and he was in his office where you wanted to go.
“yeah the accident feels like ages ago now but i'm glad things are looking so much better between you both...”
he chuckled lightly, easing some of the awkwardness.
“he's in his office finishing up a call, he should be out any second,” just then the door to the inner office opened and jungkook emerged, the sleeve of his dress shirt rolled up and his expression shifted from focused to pure joy the moment his eyes landed on you.
“baby..” he breathed. he crossed the room in long strides, pulling you into his arms immediately as he buried his face in your hair, inhaling like he was dying of you making your knees weak.
“you came. fuck i missed you already. why didn't you tell me? i would've cleared everything or picked you up,” you melted into his chest, your arms wrapping around his waist almost forgetting about taehyung's presence for a bit as you laughed softly against his chest.
“i wanted to surprise you. it wasn't planned... i hope i'm not interrupting,” jungkook pulled back just enough to cup your face with both hands.
“interrupt? never, you're the best part of my day,” he leaned in, pressing a peck against your lips, his tongue coming out to take a deeper taste but both of you get interrupted with taehyung clearing his throat with an amused grin, watching the exchange.
“alright lovebirds, i can take a hint. i was just dropping off some papers anyways, you two clearly need some time alone.”
he grabbed his jacket from the couch, slinging it over his shoulder.
“it was good seeing you again y/n,” he said to you sincerely, his voice carrying warmth and no coldness that was once directed at you because he's learned that whatever you felt for jungkook was true and that you both belonged together.
“jungkook's been smiling more these days because of you.”
jungkook kept one arm securely around your waist, not letting go even as he addressed his friend.
“thanks for coming by tae. we'll catch up soon. finish up the meeting but yeah… right now i need my wife,” he rasps. the words make heat spread all over you. taehyung laughed, already heading towards the elevator.
“message received loud and clear.”
he paused at the door, turning back with a softer expression.
“take care guys and take it easy.”
jungkook understood the real meaning behind those words and he smiled gratefully, nodding at taehyung as he stepped inside the elevator, leaving you and jungkook alone.
the moment the elevator doors sealed shut, he pulled you inside the office. his hold on you tightened as he gazed down at you and with a harsh exhale of your name, his mouth met yours but properly this time. his tongue slipping inside to hungrily explore your mouth, his free hand squeezing your hip pulling you flush against his body as you sighed into the kiss, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.
“are you sure i didn’t disturb you?” you panted as he pulled away from the kiss. jungkook was already pulling you to the chair before you could finish your words, pulling you down onto his lap immediately, hands splaying across your back cupping the back of your head pressing your face gently into his chest.
“i couldn’t stop thinking about you even for a minute and you think showing up here is disturbing? it’s the best damn surprise ever.”
“really? i was a bit nervous at the front desk—” his hold tightens, a fraction of irritation crossing his face.
“yeah about that, i already handled that. she had no right to even question you. this whole building, this office, everything is yours as much as mine. next time anyone gives you trouble, you tell them exactly who you are,” he says with a glare on his face.
“i'll make sure they never forget it, wanted to fire her.”
“no no,” you gasp.
“it's okay koo really, i didn’t mind and she didn’t know me,” in order to distract him because you really feared that he might end up firing her, your lips met his once again. you sucked on his bottom lip making him growl into your mouth as you pulled back to place tiny kisses on his jawline. one of his hands slid down to grip your hair. he turned his head to meet your lips again. the kiss grew wetter and more urgent, little smacking sounds filling the office as you both breathed each other in. he helped you straddle him properly so you were seated sideways on his lap, your legs draped over his, all his focus on you as he buried his face into your neck.
“god you smell so good,” he whispered against your pulse point, nose brushing there.
“so fucking sweet, i hate being away from you even for a few hours,” you let out a breath, fingers playing with the collar of his shirt.
“i missed you too koo...”
“then don’t leave me again or at least come here more often.”
“did you enjoy being back at the library today? what did you do?” he listens with rapt concentration, a fond look on his face as you talk about how you spend your time at the library and how good you felt, his smile getting wider when you mention that you thought of him too. his hand slid down your thigh, rubbing the skin below your skirt. your bodies pressed close as your hands wrapped around his neck. you reached up and tucked the escaped strands of his hair behind his ear then smoothed them back.
“your hair is messy,” you whispered and he smiled against your mouth.
“fix it for me then wife,” you did carefully tucking the strands into his man bun while he watched you, placing a kiss on the inside of your wrist. once satisfied, you rested your head on his shoulder and he turned slightly to reach for his laptop, pulling it closer while keeping you securely on his lap. for a few minutes he tried to focus on work, typing one handed while his other arm stayed wrapped around you.
“just need to reply to this one email real quick.”
“stay right here, it feels good having you like this while i work.”
you hummed contentedly, happy to be in his presence as well but as the minutes passed, the closeness became too much and you grew squirmy, fidgeting on his lap. every subtle movement made you brush against the thick bulge in his pants and even though none of you commented on it, the sexual tension was palpable. your pussy throbbed emptily, remembering exactly how full and stretched he made you feel several nights ago when he took your virginity, it felt too long ago. your short skirt had ridden up dangerously high on your thighs from all the subtle movements, exposing more of your soft flesh. your ass cheek pressed so intimately against him. you could feel the heat radiating from his powerful body and the way he was hardening slowly even more making him nestle lewdly right against your panties between your pussy lips. you just couldn’t remain still, your hand gripping his shirt tightly. hoping he wouldn’t notice your desperation, you began rocking your hips slowly, grinding down ever so slowly against his hard length. the sudden friction makes you whine against his chest and you pray he doesn't hear you. your hips roll again, your pussy leaking on your panties from your arousal.
“mmh..” you shudder. jungkook's fingers paused mid type on the keyboard, exhaling hard on your ear, his hand tightening on your hip stilling you for a moment.
“baby…you're killing me,” he groaned, dark amusement on his face that made your stomach flutter. you knew he was completely aware of exactly what you were doing. he grabbed your waist and positioned you so you straddled one of his thick muscular things. the sudden pressure between your legs made you squeak but he shushed you, holding you momentarily in place.
“you miss it don’t you? my cock filling you up..”
“yes.” you breathed, your shyness fading in the haze of the moment.
“i miss that feeling so much. you were so big… i want you inside me again,” he groans at your words, his jaw clenching hard and how you don’t hesitate to ask what you want drives him mad every time as he kisses the top of your head.
“i want it too more than anything but i need you healed first. i was so worried about you after seeing you sore and bleeding. fuck, i don’t wanna rush and make you hurt again,” you let out a frustrated whine, your hips pressing down on his thigh. both of you breathe heavier now as his cock twitches on your thigh while he could no longer bring himself to focus on the screen.
“how does this feel?” he flexed his thigh muscles a bit and you moaned sharply at the new sensation, your head falling on his chest.
“too much pressure on you right now?” you shake your head frantically.
“it feels good…”
“yeah?” his teeth grit as your hips rolled once again, his thigh now perfectly pressed between your legs, his free hand trailing up your side to cup the full weight of one of your breasts through the fabric of your blouse, his thumb immediately finding and circling your nipple until it pebbled and had you writhing further in his lap.
“so needy already huh?” he growls. you bit down hard on your lower lip, your face turning red as embarrassment and excitement warred through you.
“i… i didn’t mean to koo, it's just… y-you're so hard under me,” your voice came out breathy and pleading without you being able to stop yourself. your movement caused your soaked panties to slide on his dress pants and he encouraged your movements by helping you hump him properly. while his other hand deftly unbuttoned the top few buttons of your blouse with ease as he pulled the fabric aside to expose your bra.
“goddammit,” he grumbles in approval. he doesn’t waste any time to tug the cups down, freeing your full perky breasts into his waiting palms and your bra underneath pushes them up perfectly, making them look even bigger. he envelops one entirely in his hand, kneading the flesh with just enough pressure for your back to arch into him while your thighs tremble from riding his thigh.
“look at you squirming on my thigh like you can't help it,” his thigh presses upward as he bounces you slightly on his lap, watching the way your boobs jiggle erotically. his words and actions have you growing heady, your lips parted with your pants.
“love these tits,” he growled as he pinched both nipples lightly between his fingers, tugging and rolling them until you let out a long moan.
“ahhh koo!” you yelp. he soothed the sensitive peaks immediately afterward by thumbing them gently, alternating between caresses and squeezes that made your pussy clench emptily, it felt like he was playing with your clit from how raw your nipples felt. your hips moving more openly now wantonly grinding against his thigh, bouncing on him and he watches with half lidded eyes, his lips curled up.
“that’s it.”
his hand slipped under the hem of your rumpled skirt, tracing the edge of your panties before pushing the soaked fabric aside to stroke your folds, two fingers parting your wet lips to glide through the copious essence.
“koo…koo,” you whimper now, rocking onto his working fingers as well as he circles your clit. it was building higher and higher until you felt like you might collapse right there on his lap. you needed him so much.
“are you still sore baby?” jungkook asked through the heavy lust in his voice, he was still concerned about you. his fingers continued their exploration, pausing right at your fluttering entrance without pushing inside, just rubbing the lips while his other hand kept lavishing attention on your exposed breasts.
“tell me the truth sweetheart. i need to know,” his mouth found the junction of your neck and shoulder, sucking at the skin before soothing it with his tongue.
“no... no i'm not. i promise i want you inside please.” you beg brokenly, hips chasing his fingers.
“even just a little p-please,” you stammer. he lets out an animal noise at your words, not being able to stop himself, all the hesitation gone from the way you beg for him so sweetly. he'd give you everything you wanted and more.
“okay baby okay.” he takes a deep breath.
“but only the tip yeah? don’t wanna push you,” he kissed the tip of your nose and you let out a small sob of relief, nodding against him and biting onto his shirt. he shifted you in his lap to free his cock from his slacks causing the length to spring out, slapping audibly against your inner thigh. you watched with hooded eyes, feeling your heart race at having his beastly rod close to your pussy after so long as he rubbed it slowly along your dripping slit, coating you with his precum as well. you were dripping so much that he believed that he didn’t even have to prep you with his fingers again, you were already incredibly stretched from taking him and also from the immense fingering. he teased your clit with the tip of his cock with deliberate nudges that had you whimpering as he slid up and down.
“are you ready for me sweet girl?” he puffs out hot breath on your ear making you shiver and cling to him harder. the position was new as well, the fact that you both were doing it in his office, half clothed made you more aroused than anything even though the door was locked.
“i wanna hear your voice y/n…” he orders when you just nod dumbly.
“y-yes please ahh—” your voice breaks on a sob as you felt his breath hitch too when he felt your slick heat envelop just the very tip of his cock and you were so wet that he slipped just a little bit inside like a magnet.
“fuck fuck,” he lets out a string of curses, eyes closing at the feeling of your tightness once again, he could never get used to this feeling. your pussy was fucking heaven. just the fat tip felt like he was stretching you impossibly, though it didn’t give you any burning sensation like it did when you lost your virginity. just pressure and the urge to take more. he kept his hips still refusing to buck up even an inch despite his cock pulsing with urgent need and the veins along it as he rubbed the leaking top right at your entrance.
“uh... uh… yes,” you hiccuped. wet sounds were all that could be heard along with both your breathy noises as he nudged forward another fraction of an inch, parting your lips with patience.
“so fucking wet for me already,” he husks out as he cups the back of your neck to keep your face close to his. you just took the tip but you were already clenching so tight, like you never wanted to let go but he could see you struggling.
“breathe for me yeah? i don’t wanna hurt you,” he palmed your ass to relax you. he inched forward slowly with a wet squelch making your thighs tremble uncontrollably against his lap as you felt every bit of his tip and probably the two more inches he allowed you to take without being fully inside. sweat was already beginning to bead along his forehead and chest as he kissed along your collarbone, sucking lightly on the skin before pulling back to watch your face intently and the way your head was thrown back.
“that's it… feel how wide you're opening for me? god such a good girl for me,” you clutched him harder when he gave a tiny thrust, not to put his entire cock inside but for a little friction. you were so damn tight around him he could barely think straight.
“tell me how it feels? use your words for me.”
“s-so good nghh gosh!” it felt so good but you felt so impatient and didn't like how the rest of you felt empty, you needed him all the way inside, the way he completes the emptiness inside you and the way he bulges your stomach. when it hurt so good but the sensation was otherworldly. your whimpers turn broken as you try to sink down further but jungkook's strong hands on your hips hold you firmly, keeping you impaled on just that thick head for what feels like torture. you wanted more, needed it and your entire body itself was craving it. the tip was not enough. more of your slick gushed out around him, dripping down his heavy balls, he groaned deeply and shifted his hips in the upward nudge that made the tip press insistently against you.
“nnn… please…”
“shit slow, baby slow,” he warned against your neck when he realized that you were squirming so much and he didn't want to mistakenly get inside you. he loved seeing you like this, shaking from just the head of his dick, dripping everywhere and making such a mess on him.
“my good girl… taking what i give you,” his fingers found your nipples again, rolling them between his thumbs as you nearly sobbed. finally the overwhelming hunger overtook you completely and with a drawn out cry, you bore down hard, your legs tightening around his waist as you sank lower and lower into his immense length not taking much effort from how much honey you were producing.
“ahh!” you cried. inch by inch he disappeared inside your core as your eyes watered and your mouth fell open in a silent scream. this new position made him reach even deeper inside you, like he was literally just inside your stomach. jungkook's head tipped back against the chair with a primal roar, shocked and pleased at how you'd abruptly just taken him inside. the noise from his mouth seemed to come from the depths of his soul, his fingers digging into your thighs as he fought every instinct to slam up into you.
“oh my fucking god baby!” he gasped. his mouth parting more as you squeezed him hard inside you, your tears spilling on his shirt.
“you little m-minx,” he stammers.
“i told you just the tip and here you are swallowing every fucking inch like you can't live without it huh?” he growls. he was pressing right against your cervix and you were fully mindless, like he was rearranging your insides with his sheer size. your ass finally met his thighs completely, your bodies flush and locked together as your legs wrapped tighter around him. you were only capable of mumbling nonsense, your head thrashing side to side, your pussy clenching rhythmically around him, milking him drawing out shaky moans from his throat too.
“jungkook!” you sobbed when he pulled you closer, making him sink even deeper as his heart hammered against your breasts.
“ohh koo, you're so big… i can't, i can't.. it's too much,” your body movements and your words said otherwise as you fisted his hair, both of you throbbing connected together. he pressed a kiss against your ear, panting against it as he held you there without thrusting yet, just savoring the way your bodies were completely joined. you watched with teary eyes as his free hand reached blindly for the laptop.
“you feel so fucking good wrapped around me baby. missed you so damn much,” his other hand reached down, collecting your slick from where you both were connected and you leaked out, using it over your clit and rubbing, it had you gasping and grinding down harder against him. the pleasure pain filled you all over as your toes curled, your hands fisting from the overload of everything as he held you affectionately even though his body screamed at him to take you hard, to press you against his desk, and to pound your pussy stupid until you forget your own name. but he won't. never. not while you're still getting used to him.
“are you okay baby?” he kissed against your lips and you nodded shakily, his hand coming up to wipe some of your tears away.
“now be a good girl and warm my cock while i finish these reports yeah?” he pressed another kiss on your shoulder, resting his forehead there.
“don't move too much or i'll have to punish you later,” his degrading words mixed with care sent a thrill through you. you loved how caring and filthy he could be. the thought of him punishing you made you more frightened, heart racing with the possibilities. it was torment for both of you, him inside you twitching, the constant pressure without moving. you tried to obey him, settling fully onto his lap with your legs around him as you rested your cheek against his chest, listening to the click clack of his keyboard as he typed one handed even though his entire body was filled with tension and you wondered how he managed to work like that while he was releasing precum cum inside you and his cock thrashing. the fullness was maddening as every second passed as you throbbed around him and clenched more of your essence, leaking all around him and soaking his big balls. you couldn't remain still, your hips began to betray you, subtly feeling him shift and drag inside your pussy.
“haah… haah,” you bite your lower lip but couldn't stifle the noises. you could feel him nudging your g-spot and you felt closer to the release without him thrusting even once. your breathing grew ragged against the side of his neck, your whimpers escaping as you pulled hard on his shirt, one button threatening to break.
“koo… i can't… it feels so good.”
“uhnn...” you whined.
jungkook chuckles darkly against you, the vibration traveling straight down to where you were impaled on him making you spasm harder around his cock. he didn't stop typing but one hand slipped down once again, finding your clit perfectly. the pad of his thumb began to rub lazily right on the tip of your clit that had retreated from the hood from how horny you were. short little “ah ahs” leave you as he keeps you balanced right on the edge of the orgasm, never granting you the release you crave as your thighs quiver with every slow swirl of his thumb making you gush on his lap, some even driving down on the chair beneath. your hips grind harder, wanting more friction, more depth, more of everything. you wanted to cry out loud, your butt quivering too while he calmly worked.
“having a hard time baby?” he occasionally flexes his cock just to hear you gasp and you couldn't even speak. a sudden knock on the office door shattered the silence, making you jolt violently in his lap as fear went through you.
“oh god...” you panted. your heart raced in your chest as your cheeks flushed even redder, you desperately clung to jungkook's muscular chest burying your face into the safety of his chest. his heart thrummed where your lips were pressed showing that he was just as excited from the thrill.
“someone's here, t-they'll see us like this, they’ll know!” you whisper frantically. even though your pussy nervously clenched around his still buried cock in a few tight spasms that make him throb inside you as he groans. the added stimulation forces another spurt of his precum to leak against your walls, embarrassing wetness leak around where you both were connected. the scent of sex seemed impossibly strong in the room. you felt exposed yet impossibly full of him as your body kept on betraying you by squeezing him even harder, making it hard for him to remain still and not thrust into you.
“shh it's okay, baby… i've got you,” jungkook rumbles reassuringly into your hair, his arms wrapped around your waist, securely holding you against his chest. his other hand remained casually on the desk as if nothing were amiss.
“no one will know that you're impaled all the way on my cock like a good little wife… warming me so perfectly.”
“you trust me right?” he insists. he cupped the side of your face, looking into your glistening eyes as you swallowed and nodded shakily. with quick fingers he adjusted your skirt, spreading the fabric so it draped modestly over your joined bodies completely hiding the obscene sight of his big cock inside your pussy, also pushing your bra up to cover your breasts and buttoning up your blouse. from any outside perspective, it would simply look like you were perched innocently on your husband's lap for a cuddle during his long workday. your face hidden against his chest. your head spun with the humiliated arousal and the fear of getting caught as another trickle of your juices escaped, your lower body squirming, not being able to sit still.
“come in,” jungkook called out. his voice was completely normal as if he wasn't balls deep inside your cunt at the very moment. the door opened, and an employee stepped inside holding a stack of files, his eyes widening slightly at the sight of you sitting so intimately on the ceo's lap. though he quickly turned his expression to one of polite as always, he was intimidated by jungkook.
“mr. jeon i have the reports you asked for—oh i didn’t realize you had company. should i come back later?” he asked hesitantly. his gaze flicking once more toward your form before dropping respectfully to the floor. you kept your face completely buried against jungkook's chest, a gasp leaving you as you were completely hyperaware of the employee's presence and every inch of his cock as your pussy flutters even more. shameful excitement warred within you. jungkook didn’t miss a single beat, one hand continued gently stroking up and down your back, his fingers occasionally dipping lower to trace the curve of your ass through the skirt.
“leave them here on the desk and make sure we’re not disturbed for the next hour, also cancel all the meetings for the day and lock the door on your way out.”
the employee nodded quickly, murmuring apologies and casting one last glance at your position before retreating hastily. the door clicked shut behind him, the lock clicking into place with a click. jungkook lets out a low, wicked laugh, tilting your chin up with two fingers for a rough kiss. his hips gave one teasing thrust that made you moan.
“see? all safe baby, no one knows how full you are.”
“now… where were we?” your flushed face remained buried on his chest panting, your skirt arranged over where you both were joined. a whimper escaped you as his cock dragged against that spongy spot inside, sending sparks of pleasure through you, making your nipples tighten inside your blouse. it felt painful to have them constricted suddenly when they were out freely.
“jungkook...” you whisper shakily.
“no one's coming in for the rest of the afternoon. it's just you and me now. you like that hm?” he laps against your pulse on your throat and you nod, bottom lip quivering. you started rocking more profoundly while milking his length from how much essence you released and jungkook groaned, gripping your hips while his own hips thrust up to your downward motions.
“that's it.” he murmured against your ear nipping it, knowing how it's so sensitive and makes you moan every time.
“rock on my cock just like that. let me feel how much this greedy little pussy missed being stuffed full of me,” his fingers pressed even more firmly against your swollen clit now, rubbing side to side so hard your thighs shake and your back arches instinctively against his chest while he swells further inside you if that was even possible, both of your heartbeats pounding so hard.
“this pussy was made for me right?” he bites out with clenched teeth.
“yes ahh fuck yes, it was made for you, only you,” he growls at the way you curse so sweetly while you rocked faster against him, unable to resist the friction. it was not enough, it was slow, not one of euphoria when he fucked you so good. your clit ground against his pubic bone with every roll of your hips.
“shitt princes...” his hips bucked up sharply and hard and it punched the air from your lungs. a glare on his face, he looked so angry from holding himself back, his expression made you tremble.
“fuck i can't hold back anymore… i need to move.” he admitted hoarsely.
“yes—yes—” you babbled. his hand gripped your ass hard enough to leave marks and to hold you steady as he began to thrust up into you properly this time, dragging his cock almost fully out, leaving you empty before sinking back in to the hilt in one smooth motion hitting your g-spot so fucking well.
“jungkook, jungkook!” you murmur his name repeatedly, his brows furrowing in concentration. he dragged his cock inside you, each glide getting wetter filthier and more addictive. it made squelching noises with every unhurried thrust of his as you made a mess on his lap, some spurting and dripping down his chair. his heavy balls slapped against your wet folds, making pat pat pat noises, the pornographic noises and both of your moans turned him even animalistic, his movements causing the chair beneath you both to creak as well.
“oh my god koo..” you squealed out with a whine as your teeth sunk into the skin of his neck, tasting him while the sensual rhythm had your entire body bouncing on him, your nails digging into his shoulders through the shirt. he circled your clit faster now, pressing and rubbing while rolling his hips as you saw stars behind your eyelids.
“ahnn… mm… ngh…” that's all you were capable of letting out despite your best efforts to stay quiet and you didn't know if people outside the office could hear.
“people might hear, ohh koo please,” you managed to sob between his thrusts which ended in another moan as he did this grinding motion after pressing perfectly against your cervix and you clenched tight on him.
“ugh damn it,” jungkook snarled, his hips never faltering.
“let me hear how well i fuck my wife,” he pulled you down on his cock.
“i want every single person in this building to know this perfect little pussy belongs to their boss,” he pinched your swollen clit between his fingers making your body jerk as you scream out squeezing and rippling more slick arousal. it happened so suddenly that your mind couldn't catch up to it, your entire lower body reacted as you sobbed loudly.
“jungkook! i'm cumming oh fuck, i can't—”
your orgasm crashed over you powerfully, like you had fallen from a height and your vision blurred, your entire body shook as pleasure took over every inch of you. his cock continues thrusting as you came hard while you keened trying to hold back your screams.
“ahh!” your juices gushed out around his shaft, soaking him completely and jungkook breathes hard at the sensation.
“such a good fucking wife creaming all over me so prettily mm yeah… shit.”
you spurted more hearing his words as he mumbles praises against your hair, feeling you around him. he slowed his thrusts more and deeply through your climax, drawing it out while his fingers never stopped flicking your clit, smearing your cum everywhere painting you with it. even as the aftershocks continued, your muscles twitching and everything felt overly sensitive.
“you can do one more for me baby,” he placed a kiss against your cheek.
“i can't i can't.” you chanted with a sob.
“shh you can… just focus on what you're feeling… doing so good for me,” his hips rolled in and out of your creamy heat with long strokes that kept you riding the high without ever letting you fully come down. each drag and push kept building the edge again, the noises grew more wet as he sloppily fucked you. your cum coated his entire dick and his balls while his fingers continued to play with your folds and clit, teasing you as well while chasing his release. time seemed to lose all its meaning, it felt endless from how he kept on going, his mouth meeting yours hotly, full of shared breaths and tangling of tongues as he breathes harshly after pulling back.
“you're so tight baby...” he hisses brokenly like you're trying to cut off his blood flow.
“this pussy was made to take my cock all day long wasn't it? made just for me to fill and love like this,” your second orgasm approached quickly enough even more intensely than the last, coaxed by him while he made sure not to hurt you or overstimulate you with careful rubs on your clit while he constantly praised you.
“just let go whenever you want baby,” he coos. your body shook as it finally washed over you again, your pussy spasming wildly around his thickness.
“koo!” you cried out his name again and again, not caring that people could possibly hear you outside, feeling like no logical or rational thought mattered. jungkook groaned as your orgasm seemed to trigger his as well as he pumped you a few more times before he buried himself to the hilt with a roaring noise and released spurts and spurts of cum inside you, filling you to the brim. both of you shook together while he held you close making sure that your pussy took every bit of his white mess, still slightly fucking you lazily and thoroughly. not pulling out just yet and enjoying the feeling of buried so deeply inside you. his cock is warm and happy in this little cunt where he belongs… right here with you, his everything. his cock pulsed inside you, cum beginning to leak out as your pussy fluffed exhaustingly. jungkook's arms wrapped around your waist as he stroked up and down your back soothingly.
“i've got you...” he murmurs huskily, his man bun was slightly disheveled from exertion.
“you did so fucking good for me… took every inch. how does that pretty pussy feel now hm?” you whimpered burying your face into his neck, taking in the scent of the remnants of your shared pleasure.
“i can feel you leaking out of me…” you whispered bashfully as another small trickle of his cum slid down your inner thigh. he lets out a soft chuckle, one hand sliding down to cup your ass cheek.
“yeah? gonna keep it there a little longer while i hold you,” he didn't pull out right away, instead he rocked the chair back and forth in a rhythm while cradling you and you felt sleepy almost and so loved in a haze of afterglow. he kissed wherever he found your skin exposed, his own breathing becoming regular. his cock has long softened inside you but your occasional twitches made him clench his jaw, his cock hardening a little more once again.
“was it too much?” he asked, pulling back just enough to search your eyes, his hand moving to your front palm resting over your lower belly where you could still feel the bulge of him inside.
“i need to know.” he rasps.
“i'm good… just shaky. you always make me feel so much,” you admitted, a smile on your lips despite the exhaustion and he hummed in approval. he simply held you like that for a while instead of focusing on how his cock was hardening again, caressing your thighs where his handprints were. he kissed the hickies on your collarbone that never seemed to fade because he was always making new ones every day. eventually he couldn't take it any longer and not wanting to overstimulate you, his cock was fully hard once again. he hated being separated from you but he'd probably end up fucking you a few more times if he stayed inside which he understood would be too much for you. he carefully eased you out and both of you groaned as his cock slipped out of your dripping pussy with a wet obscene sound that made you blush hard. a tiny gush of his cum followed, coating your thighs and jungkook groaned at the sight, using his fingers to gently push some of it back inside you.
“stay just like this for me tonight yeah? want you thinking of me,” your eyes lowered shyly as he reached for the pack of wet wipes in his desk drawer cleaning you both gently, wiping your core with soft dabs that made you hiss at the sensitivity then his own cock that you looked at with wide eyes because he was hard again as he put his pants back on, taking a few breaths, willing for him to calm down though he doubted it would. he held you still, understanding that your legs were wobbling as he fixed your skirt back down and your blouse.
“there we go...”
he can't have his girl walking out looking too fucked out even though you look sexy as hell right now but it was only for him to see. his employees knew better than to stare at you before he fired all of them on the spot and either way he was planning to take you out himself.
“listen baby, i want you to be ready for tonight. i'm taking you out on a proper date,” he muses. you stared at him as he fixed your hair.
“a-a date?” he chuckled and nodded as his hands skimmed your waist.
“be waiting for me when i get home. i'll pick you up after i wrap up these last things from here,” he wanted to leave with you but he couldn't ignore the incoming works and he wanted to finish everything so he was yours for the rest of the night and probably even the day after. you nodded with a racing heart, you couldn't believe he was asking for a date so innocently after pumping you full of his cum.
“okay... but my legs are so shaky right now. how am i supposed to walk out of here?” a laugh escaped you as you clung to his shirt, feeling giddy and he grinned, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
“that's my fault huh? come on baby, i'll carry you.”
you yelped as he stood picking you up like you weighed nothing. you didn't think that he'd take your words too seriously. he took the private elevator directly to the garage so you wouldn't fall under the eyes of any workers, he didn't wanna overwhelm you and mainly because he was a selfish man not wanting anyone to put eyes on his wife. he walked to his car and settled you inside, signaling at the driver, who straightens up immediately.
“take a warm bath, pamper yourself and i'll handle everything else yeah?” his thumb brushed over your bottom lip and you looked at him with dazed eyes as he leaned in stealing another kiss from you, having no urge to leave you even for a few hours when you're so full of him and his cock was so warm inside you. it's scary how much he needs you.
“you make me so fucking happy you know that?” you melted a little more, pressing one last kiss against his jaw.
“i feel the same koo...” jungkook's eyes softened and he pulled you against his chest one last time, chin resting on your head.
“text me when you're home safe,” he gave your ass a gentle pat, making you giggle shyly as he helped you gather yourself, your pussy still throbbing under your panties as the excitement for the date buzzed through you mixing with his touches. you couldn’t for tonight.
you stood in front of the full length mirror in the bedroom, the dress jungkook had sent over earlier that evening hugged every bit of your curve like his hands would. it was a satin babydoll style short dress in a light pastel color, it showed off your breasts perfectly, giving a generous view of your cleavage and ended just below your ass. it was pretty yet sexy at the same time and you couldn’t stop blushing in front of the mirror since you wore it. the brand of the dress had your eyes widening too and the price tag.
you shifted your weight, doing minimal makeup and you got ready earlier than you're supposed to because you’ve been feeling restless and full of anticipation and also put on matching heels with the dress. you showered after coming home, trying to hold yourself back from touching yourself to the memories of how he'd taken you in his office.
you sat on the edge of the bed, heart racing, legs bouncing, before you decided to grab your phone. biting your lip with a smile, you decided to take a picture for him. you snapped a photo, arching your back slightly to capture the curve of your ass and angling your body in a way so your breasts are visible too. you looked glowing, well fucked and ready for him.
jungkook stepped inside the house, his suit jacket already slung over one shoulder, tie loosened and the first few buttons undone. the moment his eyes landed on you, waiting in the living room dressed in what he'd sent, a possessive rush came in him. he loved having you wearing his money, your skin still carrying that post intimacy glow from earlier in the day.
“baby,” he breathes out, dropping his jacket on the bed before closing the distance.
“you look fucking breathtaking. missed you like hell today,” he pulled you into his arms immediately, one hand splaying across your lower back, his lips finding yours, tongue teasing the seam of your mouth until you parted for him and you whimpered happily in his mouth as he kissed you senseless like he hadn't seen you in weeks instead of hours.
“it's only been a few hours,” you grin.
“felt like years,” he groans, nuzzling your cheek before pulling back just enough to look at you.
“ready for our date?” you nodded bashfully and he kissed the back of your hand and freshened himself up before guiding you to the car, his eyes raking over your back appreciatively and you swayed your hips intentionally just because you knew he was watching. he drove to a private rooftop garden terrace that he'd rented entirely for the night, fairy lights draped overhead and flowers everywhere with a single set table overlooking the city and soft music played in the background. no staff lingered, everything was prearranged for complete privacy and he'd spent a fortune to ensure it.
“wow jungkook... this is incredible,” you take in the sight.
“you really did all this for us?” jungkook turned to you with a smile, pulling you into his arms.
“of course i did baby. i wanted it to be just you and me, no interruptions at all,” you both sat at the table, talking while you enjoyed the food. both of you sharing about your days as he listened to whatever you said with rapt attention, his eyes never leaving your face, reaching across to intertwine your fingers.
“i love seeing you happy like this,” you squeezed his hand.
“it's because of you…” you croaked.
after the meal he led you to a coach lounge area and pulled you in his arms. both of you enjoyed the silence in each other's presence as apocalypse by cigarettes after sex played. it felt like it was just the two of you and this romantic intimacy. your eyes fall on a bottle of wine that was inside an ice bucket on the table that jungkook didn't even touch. you noticed it immediately, the bottle. your gaze lingered on the unopened wine a bit, distracted as he placed a kiss on your shoulder. memories of your father flashed briefly and the way he used to be in his worst state when he was drunk and would break things, used to beat your mother badly, the first ever time when he raised his hand at you when you were five was also when he was drunk. that's why you'd avoided alcohol yourself even when you reached the appropriate age and also didn't feel comfortable being around people drinking altogether. jungkook knew that by heart and never drank with you by his side, he doesn't even remember drinking just proper wine after marriage. once upon a time the trauma was deep seated in you always but it didn't grip you like before now after you'd started healing with jungkook. you turned to him, hands fidgeting.
“jungkook… i wanna try some, a little i guess, with you,” he paused, searching your eyes carefully.
“you wanna try wine with me?” you swallowed and nodded and he didn't say anything for a few seconds.
“baby are you sure? you don't have to, i never drink around you because i know how it makes you feel. why are you suddenly saying this?” he asked concernedly. you look down at your fingers
“because.. i want to... i wanna let go of my past and experience new things a-and i trust you,” you looked at him with glistening eyes and he cupped your cheek, softness on his face after hearing your words and how safe you felt in his presence to be wanting to try this.
“yeah? alright baby, only because you wanna try but we'll go with one small glass.”
“we stop the second you feel off okay?” he mentions it again to make sure.
“i trust you,” you say again, leaning into him.
“i know you won't hurt me, you're nothing like him, i... i wanna see what its like,” he kissed your forehead and nodded.
“alright love, small sips,” he poured you a modest glass of the rich red wine then a bit for himself when you insisted.
“only because you want me to share this with you,” he was more than happy with you wanting to try it and he didn't wanna trigger your past by doing it himself but the way you looked at him made it hard for him to deny you. the first sip made you hum at the taste despite the bitterness as you took another almost immediately, feeling a looseness spread through your limbs as you nestled deeper into his arms while jungkook monitored your every expression protectively. jungkook was used to handling more strong alcohols and this was nothing compared to them, but as you finish half the glass he could feel the changes in you
“you're already getting tipsy huh?” he took the glass from your hand and set it aside.
“that's enough for you tonight baby, i don't want you feeling sick,” you giggled, actually giggled, feeling lighter than usual like all your stress has been washed away as you turned in his lap, straddling him and rested your head on his chest, your arms around his neck.
“mmm you're so warm and big… my pretty husband,” you let out in a rush of breath. jungkook froze before letting out a delighted laugh as he held you close.
“pretty? that's a new one,” he stroked your sides, you were so damn adorable to him, it made him want to kiss you silly as you turned your head, kissing the mole under his lips sloppily before capturing his mouth in a messy kiss.
“this mole is especially pretty,” you slur feeling more bold as the alcohol loosened your tongue.
“mhmm?” he sighed as your hands roamed on his chest.
“dance with me?” he chuckled and nodded, guiding you in the middle. this reminded him of the early days of your marriage when you'd joined him at the party and you'd let him touch you for the first time. he relished in those memories. you both danced under the stars, your body pressed flush against him, hips swaying lazily as the music changed to a much more sensual one. he held you, one hand on your lower back, the other cradling your hand, he spun you suddenly making you giggle. your lips brushed on his as you breathed the same air, a whimper leaving you as you felt his hardness growing against your belly but he never pushed, simply swaying with you but your drunk state took all the hesitation away from you.. not a single bit of shyness left.
“you're so good to me,” you mumbled against his skin, playing with the hair. your deepest fantasy coming out that you've never said aloud but feeling the urge to confess so much, that your sober state wouldn't even dare to.
“i love when you eat my pussy you know? your tongue is my favorite, so warm and wet licking me so slowly and ah—” your voice breaks off on a moan when you trip on your feet.
“careful,” he grips your arms and guides you to sit back down as he realizes that you're increasingly losing control. he groaned at your words, his own breathing grew heavier but his touches remained tender. you kept going, your hand gripping his shoulders as you looked at him with a giddy smile.
“i haven't forgotten... you know? you wanted to take my ass, you promised,” you pouted.
“why don't you talk about it anymore huh?” you gripped the collar of his shirt. you had so many dirty thoughts and the alcohol running through your veins made you feel horny too, thinking of how you wanted to use his mouth to your will, ride his face and make a mess and wanted his cock between your breasts once again, you wanted everything and more. you wanted him to do you, the thought of drunk sex sent fire through you. you could see that his eyes were getting darker with desire, pupils blown as he reduced your kiss to a few seconds instead, his own head growing dizzy at the taste of you and wine mixed together. he didn't add more to your words even though his whole body was reacting, his cock hardening to a rock.
“easy. you're drunk now princess. i want you to drink some water okay?” he grabbed the jug to pour you some water and you shook your head clumsily.
“n-no, i'm not drunk,” you protested. your arms wrapped around him once again.
“you're mine,” you kissed his cheek wetly, giggling as his heart swelled, half lidded eyes full of adoration falling in yours.
“i'm yours always angel,” he pecked your forehead before helping you sit upright.
“here, drink some water,” he made you sip some water before you settled back into his body as he held you. he felt loose and relaxed too, not even tipsy but with you here and having a drink after a while made him feel good. he couldn't help himself and pulled out a single cigarette. he didn't really smoke a lot around you and he'd reduced it a lot that he rarely smoked now since you came into his life because he faced less stress but the looseness urged him to have one. he lights it and takes a slow drag, his shoulder drops further as he glances back at you with that devastatingly handsome smile. even in your fuzzy head, he looked so good as you watched the way his lips wrapped around the cigarette, heat bloomed in your belly and you bit your bottom lip.
“kook...” you slurred a little as you sat up.
“that looks… nice. can i try? just once?” you sounded awfully demanding and adventurous tonight to try a bunch of new things, though this time he didn't take it lightly. he turned, brows furrowing as the cigarette hovered away from his mouth.
“no baby, absolutely not,” he shakes his head as he takes another drag and blows the smoke away from you.
“you're already drunk, this shits harsh not happening,” you crawled to the edge of the couch and reached out for his hand
“please? you've had wine with me. i just wanna see what it feels like. i'm safe with you remember?” you gave him those doe eyes that he could never resist. he signed, running a hand through his hair but keeping the cigarette high and out of reach.
“baby no, you aren't used to it, this isn't for you.”
“but i feel so good right now,” you whimpered, wrapping your legs around his waist.
“just once, pretty please?” he groaned, clearly torn as his free hand rubbed up and down your back while he stared down at your pleading eyes.
“fuck… you're too cute when you're like this, it's not fair,” he hesitated for a bit, brows furrowing.
“one single puff that's it. you get me?” his commanding tone makes your legs squeeze together but you nodded eagerly.
“deal.”
jungkook muttered something under his breath, he didn't mind spoiling you but when it's harmful for you, that's where he draws the line. he brought the cigarette carefully to your lips, there was something so erotic about sharing a cigarette together.
“suck just a little,” your eyes locked on his as you took a tentative pull but the smoke hit your throat sharp enough for you to catch up and you immediately pulled back, bursting into a fit of coughs as your eyes water.
“shit i told you,” jungkook quickly flicked the cigarette away into the ashtray and pulled you into his arms.
“breathe baby,” his jaw clenched as you kept coughing lightly against his shirt.
“you never listen to me,” there was no anger in his voice, just concern.
“are you okay?” his fingers stroked through your hair. you nodded but had a grin because everything felt so funny, even the way he looked so concerned.
“ugh it tastes bad. how do you do that?” jungkook chuckled, holding you tighter.
“i don't need it anymore when i have you,” he tilted your face up, kissing you.
“now be good and let me take care of my drunk little wife,” he knew one thing for sure, he was wrapped around your little finger.
he texted the driver with the other hand, knowing you had to go home and relax and you were too far gone to spend time here any longer. throughout the ride home he held you close in the backseat with your head rested against his shoulder and you kept pressing kisses on his neck the entire way, giggling every time the car turned a corner and you slid a little in his lap, your body felt hotter by the second feeling his bulge that he tried to keep away from you but couldn't from the way you were straddling him.
he carried you back inside the house, taking off your heels himself one handed while the other held you cradled like the strong man he was and you were swooning at it. he'd already dimmed the lights in the room, he kicked the bedroom shut behind him and set you down gently on the bed but you immediately reached for him by his shirt tugging him closer.
“koo… come here,” you whined. you felt so floaty and got so turned on as you looked up at him with adoring eyes as he stood before you, his bulge at your eye level.
“you're so fucking hot like... stupid hot. i think about your cock all the time,” he lets out a surprised laugh, his own cheeks tinting slightly.
“you're really feeling it tonight hmm?” he crouched in front of you, hands resting on your bare thighs.
“how are you feeling? nauseous? should i bring more water?” you shook your head immediately as you gripped him hard.
“no don't go. i feel so warm… i want you,” your hands slid up his chest, fingers fumbling a little with the buttons.
“let me suck your cock koo please? i want it in my mouth... i wanna taste you,” jungkook's breath hitched as his eyes squeezed shut, breathing a few times to regulate himself as his cock twitched in approval of your words. the last time he'd had you this bold was when you gave him your virginity and here you were doing it again. he caught your wandering hands gently before your hand could reach his hardness. you were driving him absolutely insane.
“you're drunk, we're not doing that tonight honey...”
he stood up about to walk away to grab a bottle of water but you held onto him, crawling forward and nuzzling your face against his crotch, rubbing against the hard length of him, coos leaving you repeatedly and he growled.
“but i want to... you like it when i give you head don't you? when i'm sloppy and wet,” your voice grows needy and high.
“i wanna choke on it. i want to look up at you while you fuck my throat... mm y-yes... please i'll be so good,” you slurred out longingly. he groaned loudly, one hand coming up to cup the back of your head, not pushing you closer but not pulling you away yet either. his resolve was weakening but he would never do anything while you're drunk, no matter how much you ask for it. his jaw was tight, breathing hard as he kept his bulge away from you.
“goddamn it, you're gonna kill me. listen to me love.”
he tilted your chin so you had to meet his eyes.
“you're tipsy right now and i'm not letting you suck me off when you're not fully sober. you might regret it tomorrow.”
“absolutely not happening,” you made a frustrated little sound still trying to reach for his belt.
“i won't regret it. i want your cum on my tongue… y-you always taste so good koo... mm a little salty.”
your pussy clenched as you let out a wanton moan, your legs squeezing together.
“and when you tell me i'm your good girl while i'm sucking… it makes me so wet,” jungkook exhaled shakily, gently guiding you back into the bed so you were lying down and he climbed over you, helping you settle.
“no matter what you say, my cock stays in my pants tonight,” you let out such a sad whine that it made his chest hurt as you wrapped your legs around his waist, grinding up against him clumsily.
“h-hahh koo... mmph.”
you kept on babbling, not in your right mind.
“i want it. i want you to use my mouth. like a toy—” your voice breaks as you hiccup.
“i want you to cum all over my tits and then rub it or… or f-fuck oh, bend me over and spank me for being bad won't you?” his hips pressed down instinctively once letting you feel how hard he actually was before he pinned your hips still with one hand, not letting you hump him anymore. you were really being like a bunny in heat and if you weren't drunk, he'd most definitely fuck you senseless and do everything to you that he'd promised in the texts after the date. you were so honest while you were drunk.
“we're going to go over every single thing you said when you're sober but right now you're going to drink water and get sleep.”
“nooo,” you fussed childishly trying to tug his shirt up that was out of his pants already.
“can't i just lick your cock a little, just the tip? please please,” he chuckled, shaking his head as he rolled you both as you were lying on top of him instead.
“no sweetheart, not even the tip.”
you were slurring your words and your hands were shaking a little. he sees you and notices the littlest thing, no matter how frustrated he was, he wouldn't give you what he wanted. he was a man and a man knew how to control his desires and respect a woman be it his partner or someone else, nothing should be done non consensually when the other isn't in their right state of mind. his job was to take care of you and not take advantage. you buried your face in his neck, kissing and suckling.
“you're so mean…” you pouted hard and his thumb brushed on your bottom lip, your lipstick was a bit smudged too. he couldn't help but lean down for a peck making you laugh.
“i'm gonna dream about your cock now then, since you won't give it to me,” jungkook nodded.
“tomorrow when you're clear headed and asking, i'll let you do whatever you want to me, for now...” he reached over to grab the water bottle, helping you drink more.
“good girl.”
you drank obediently some water, dribbling down your chin that he wiped away with his thumb while you kept talking sleepily as he helped you out of the dress and grabbed a comfortable nightie of yours from the drawer, he unclasped your bra and took off your panties, never lingering his eyes on them, keeping his eyes fixed on your face instead as he finished putting the fabric on you.
“you promise you will fuck my ass one day?” you asked with a yawn, already growing sleepy as you lay under the covers he's draped over your body and he lets out a low gruff noise at how you're persistent about it and he kisses your forehead and nods.
“i promise,” you smiled happily, so unaware of the way he was getting blue balls, he definitely needed a cold shower after you slept. you drifted off with a few more mumbles curling against his chest.
“i… i think i love—” your words slurred off as sleep claimed you mid sentence as you drifted on his chest.
jungkook froze, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest as he looked down at your peaceful face. his shaky fingers tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as he leans his forehead close to yours, knowing in his heart what you were about to say, tears brimming in his eyes. his entire being was filled with so much overflowing love for you he felt overwhelmed with it that you didn’t even finish saying it yet it affected him hard. he starved to hear those three words from your mouth… yet he wondered if he actually deserved it. he feared something might take you away from him once again, good things don’t last too long in his life. he grabbed your makeup remover from where you keep your makeup items and started removing your makeup gently.
“koo…”
you mumble his name in your sleep, hand not letting go of his shirt and he knows he'll love you till his last breath. even then his soul would search and yearn for you in every afterlife and in every universe.
you stirred the next morning with a groan, your body feeling that heaviness, a hammering headache that made your head bury in the pillow. jungkook's arm was draped over your waist, his breath falling on your neck, his legs tangled with yours under the covers. you blinked awake little fragments of the previous night flicking through your mind, both of you dancing together, your body pressed against his, the date… you insisted on drinking a little and got drunk. you didn’t remember exactly what happened after getting fully drunk but you knew you said embarrassing stuff. bits and pieces you remembered about wanting to smoke his cigarette, wanting to suck his cock and how you'd been all over the place giggling and being silly. you also specifically remembered how you'd voiced your desire for him to take your ass. your cheeks reddened as you felt jungkook shift behind you, his arm tightening as he woke.
“morning baby, how's your head?”
you turned, not being able to face him as you hid your burning face against his chest.
“it's... okay, not too bad.”
“jungkook… did i… say a lot of stuff last night?” he chuckled, his hand pressing against your waist as you still didn’t face him.
“yeah you did. you were really cute though,” he pressed a kiss on top of your head and tilted your chin up so you would look at him. his eyes sparked with amusement, though his lips were curved in a fond smile as he had the urge to tease you.
“you told me how much you love it when i eat your pussy… how much my tongue feels better than anything, that you get wet just from thinking about it and you kept kissing the mole right here—” he tapped the spot under his lips.
“i didn’t know you loved it so much huh?”
“oh my gosh.” you gasped, covering your face with both hands as you felt embarrassment wash over you. your cheeks felt like they were on fire.
“i can't believe i said that. i was drunk… i didn’t mean to just blurt everything out like that,” you were absolutely mortified but there was a tiny shameful part of you underneath who had the relief of having let those hidden desires surface. you probably wouldn’t ever dare to say that if you were sober. jungkook pried your hands away and leaned in to peck your nose, then your lips softly.
“hey don't hide from me… i loved hearing everything.”
“you made me so fucking hard baby but i didn’t let you drink more, brought you back home, changed your clothes and held you until you fell asleep,” your heart raced but from how he was so caring even at such times and never took advantage, like men like your father would or what you’ve assumed every other man to do as well. not everyone was abusive while drunk, jungkook proved you wrong every single day.
“i was such a mess though,” you peeked up at him through your lashes.
“i'm sorry if i embarrassed you or said too much.”
“never.”
he shook his head, pulling you closer as he held you close to him.
“you didn't embarrass me at all, you were honest, that's all i want from you,” he kissed you deeper this time, tongue brushing yours and when he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours.
“i'm glad you feel safe enough to say those things to me.”
you let out a shaky breath, the awkwardness fading under his gaze and his touches as your fingers traced the lines of his abs absentmindedly. you felt yourself open up more to him.
“i do trust you more than i ever did… last night it felt good to let go even if i don’t remember every second.”
“i was all over you i guess,” you flush. jungkook grinned.
“you definitely were, kept telling me how hot i am when i moan and to spank you…”
he placed kisses against your collarbone, your eyes widening at his words.
“i had to keep reminding you that you were tipsy and we'd wait till you were sober.”
you laughed and hid your face in the crook of his neck again.
“stop reminding me i sound like a horny teenager.”
“you sound like my wife.” he corrected warmly as his fingers played with your hair, massaging your scalp and making you hum.
“my beautiful sexy as hell wife and i wouldn’t change a second of it.”
he paused, he first thought he wasn’t going to mention it but he ended up doing it reluctantly.
“you almost told me you l-loved me before you fell asleep or at least... it sounded like that before you drifted off,” your breath caught, lips parting but he placed a finger on your lips, cutting off your words as your glistening eyes meet his emotion filled ones.
“jungkook…”
“you don’t have to say anything now.” he murmurs.
“we've got time all the time in the world,” you gulp at his words as he pulls you closer, looking down at you softly.
“we do right…? we got lots of time?” there was something in your voice, something that scared the both of you but he nodded, kissing the inside of your palm.
“we do,” and you believed so, he wasn’t going anywhere, neither were you.
“how about we start the day slow? i'll make breakfast then we can just… watch something or just be on the couch, whatever you want.”
you nodded with a smile.
“that sounds perfect,” the weight of your earlier words was still there and he felt it.
“thank you for taking care of me last night, for always taking care of me.”
“always,” he promised sincerely as his hand caressed your side, both your noses nuzzling together, he smirked wanting to ease things.
“we'll talk more about those drunk confessions later, i've got plans for all of them.”
you swatted his chest playfully, laughing.
“jungkook! you're impossible.”
he joined you in the laughter, eyes never leaving yours, devotion so palpable and also the whispered conversations that slowly made room for more to come.
the following weeks went on, it was like the real beginning of your marriage as you both fell into a routine. mornings started slow and intimate, usually you'd wake up tanged in jungkook's chest. both of you mostly slept naked together which would cause him to end up with an even bigger morning wood. that would always lead to you both kissing lazily as he groped you all over and then with the motions of his tongue, you knew exactly what he wanted to do. it was his usual dialogue almost every day.
“let me taste you before work.”
and you couldn't deny him as his mouth started the work and every time you came so much that you lost your mind, you didn't know if you'd ever get used to him eating your pussy. each time he made sure to kiss you after your orgasm so you'd taste yourself on his tongue. other mornings you returned the favor, you loved waking him with your mouth, his cock already half hard against his thigh. you'd lick him from the base to the tip, smiling as he slowly woke up.
“shit baby!” he'd groan, one hand guiding your head, you'd learned to relax your throat like a pro after the several times of giving him head and the way he'd taught you. you wouldn't pull back until he came down your throat and he called you his good girl. you both left for work most days now after showering together, mostly full of soapy touches and kisses, his hard cock pressed against your stomach. he wanted to do more you knew but usually didn't have time. you'd stand in front of him to tie his tie as always as he watched you with a soft gaze, not forgetting your usual forehead kiss. he'd drop you off at the library.
“text me when you get to the library and eat something proper okay? i worry about you.”
jungkook had also been teaching you to drive more seriously because the last time you both got a little distracted... on weekend afternoons he'd take you out in one of his less flashy cars to empty roads or big parking lots. he was always patient and encouraging even when you sometimes messed up.
“you're doing amazing, look how far you've come already.”
his praises were constant.
“focus sweetheart or do you want me to eat your pussy right here in the car if you nail this turn?” you'd laugh breathlessly, cheeks hot but you improved fast under his guidance and he kept his words, ate you out in the car when you'd learned to park the car perfectly.
“that's my wife, so smart and capable.”
instead of avoiding his words, you started to see yourself the way he viewed you as… you believed you were smart and capable of doing so much more. you both took turns cooking or sometimes side by side, you chopping the vegetables while he handled the cooking even though the majority of the time he wanted to be the one to cook for you. bam baby would always be the most excited when he had both of you around, running around and playing some afternoons. you both would play with him, spoiling him together. it was so therapeutic.
you spent hours in the library he'd built for you. he'd sit with his laptop while you curled up with a book, your legs draped over his lap. you'd squirm when his wandering fingers would trace your skin, sometimes slipping under your shorts to cup your pussy but nog demanding anything, just holding you there like putting his to claim every inch of your body. he'd say he missed you even after you both spent a few hours apart due to work, even when the texts were constant and the calls. you'd end up with his head between your thighs more often than not, sometimes the cuddling sesh would lead him to finger you on the couch while he'd lay his head on your breasts, latching on to your nipple and kneading your breasts as you pulled on his hair. you grew closer in every way, with conversations that would last late in the night with bodies pressed together. he'd talk about his work stresses and you'd listen playing with his hair as you both learned more of each other every day, even though there were no secrets but the little things were always learned and memorized. there were playful moments too, he'd chase you around the house just to pin you against the wall and kissing you senseless, bam would join in the chase, his barks and both of your laughter filling the space.
the sex was constant but varied, mostly oral while your body adjusted but there was penetration occasionally too, him eating you out and you'd repay him with sloppy wet blowjobs. that would occasionally lead to him fucking you missionary or in a spoon position, sweet and gently at first, looking into your eyes but it always ended up turning hungry and a bit rough at the end when you both grew desperate and your body has grown used to his size slowly as well. there wasn't always much lingering soreness but tiny bits of pain were there that were fading as more time went by. he was a sex beast in bed and his stamina was crazy even though you both had sex almost every day, it felt like he could go more but he never pushed like the gentleman he was. every day deepened the bond, he was completely wrapped in you while you felt cherished and desired in everyway. the house felt more like your home, no longer a prison or somewhere unknown, a lived in place filled with giggles, moans and so much love...
“hmm... baby.”
your husband lets out a contented murmur as he nuzzles his nose against your neck taking in your scent. fully basking in each other's warmth. you and jungkook have both decided to stay home today, cancelling all the responsibilities and just needing to spend the time with each other but most importantly, there has been this palpable sexual tension building since morning. every accidental brush of skin while making coffee or those glances across the table. you also noticed the way his hand rested a little too long on your lower back as he passed by thinking you wouldn't notice but every nerve inside you was way too aware of him. it was like the air you breathed. all of it had been building something.
you were in your comfort clothes, one of his oversized t-shirts that smelled so much of him that it made you feel lightheaded and simple panties. jungkook fresh from a light home workout, only wore sweatpants. there was still a light layer of sweat glistening on his skin from the post workout. he looked so sexually attractive even at times when he was being casual and wasn't trying to initiate anything.
your legs squeezed together as both of you pretended to watch some random show on the tv, the fluffy blanket thrown around your lower bodies that he'd brought for you after deciding to be lazy together this afternoon on the couch. neither of you was paying attention to the tv. your legs were tangled with his, your head resting on his chest as his fingers traced along your thigh slowly and absentmindedly, inching higher with every pass. the touch was light but it still made your pussy tingle as your hand slightly curled on his chest from the sensations. you could feel the thud of his heartbeat beneath your cheek, it was faster than normal, it matched the way your own pulse had quickened. his free hand played with the ends of your hair, occasionally tugging gently which made you shift restlessly against him with tiny helpless noises that you hoped he wouldn't hear. you were so wanton for him and the way you were writhing made his shirt bunch around your waist revealing your tummy and panties. you were aroused and it was so evident that your panties had a wet patch in the middle and were sticking lewdly to your folds, the shape of your throbbing clit was almost visible if he looked close enough. just that both of you were doing a good job at ignoring it. the way his cock was half hard inside his sweatpants and pressing noticeably against your hip whenever you moved, he was just huge enough to always bump into you even when he wasn't fully hard. jungkook's deep husky voice broke the tense silence first as his heavy breathing fell against the top of your head.
“sweetheart... you've been squirming against me for the last twenty minutes.”
“do you think i don't notice how wet you're getting mhmm?” he chuckled softly as his fingers slipped just a little higher under the hem of the shirt brushing the edge of your panties.
“been driving me crazy all day haven't you… like a bad little girl?” you bite your lower lip, trying to hide your smile as your cheeks flush. you've been feeling every bit of the bad girl he was accusing you of being.
“it's not my fault your hands keep wandering.”
your voice came out breathier than you intended and you shifted again, your thigh deliberately pressing against his growing bulge. the sudden friction made him inhale sharply.
“fuck…” he lets out with a grunt.
“you're the one who's been hard since breakfast koo... i can feel you against my leg right now,” you add coyly. he groaned as his hand finally slid fully downward to cup one of your ass cheeks, squeezing it to his liking.
“guilty. how am i supposed to focus on anything when my wife is walking around in nothing but my shirt, looking all soft and fuckable?” his thumb traced the line of your panties, dipping teasingly between your cheeks for a moment before retreating.
“been thinking about you nonstop... especially how pretty you sound when you fall apart for me.”
he mutters hotly against your ear, his teeth grazing the lobe before letting it go. you gasped at his words, your nails slightly digging into his chest as you felt a trickle of slickness escape your panties and drip down your thigh. slowly... so slowly. just like the way he was slowly breaking you until you're reduced to nothing but the needy girl he wants you to be. you turned your face up to look at him, your noses almost brushing. his eyes were hooded, full of desire, but there was that familiar playfulness in them too. the one that always made your stomach flip with excitement.
you couldn't help it and leaned in, capturing his lips in a slow kiss. it started slow but quickly turned hungry. his tongue traced the seam of your mouth, asking for entrance and you granted him a small sign of happiness. both of your tongues slide together sensually, his tongue made that sex motion that thrusting act that always made your thighs shake around him. your arms circled his neck, gripping his hair as his strong arms made your legs wrap around his waist until you were practically glued to his body with not a single inch of space between you both. his hand kneaded your ass more heavily while the other tilted your chin for better access and to eat at your mouth properly.
“ah...”
you whine into his mouth as he swallows the sound and kisses you even harder. not being able to get enough. when you finally pulled back for air, both of you were breathing harshly as jungkook pressed his forehead against yours.
“i've been thinking about something fun, you know... a little game since we're both home and clearly worked up.”
he smirked as his fingers kept brushing over the damp spot that had formed on your panties, your legs remaining parted with the way he had you pinned down as you looked up at him with parted lips. you were so deep in his spell that you barely registered his words, your eyes fixed on his swollen lips.
“what if we 69? the one who cums first loses but with a twist.. the loser has to do whatever the winner wants,” your eyes widened slightly at the suggestion as an instant thrill of nervousness and excitement went through you. the idea of competing like this with his mouth on you and yours on him sounded… incredibly hot. you both knew how skilled he was with his tongue to turn you into a sobbing mess but still the competitive side of you sparked to life. the intimacy loosened your tongue too much as you pursed your lips, pretending to think while your clit throbbed against his thigh.
“and what exactly does the winner get huh?” you asked as your hand slid down his chest, nails lightly scratching over his abs until your hand brushed over his hard cock. jungkook's hips immediately twitched towards your hand, a growl escaping him as his head fell back for a bit. his adam's apple bobbed before his eyes fixed on you darkly.
“do you wanna know what happens if i win?” you nod with a gulp, your brows furrowing as the tip of his finger slides up and down between your folds that parted beneath your panties, playing around your opening without ever crossing the barrier.
“if i win... i finally get to fuck this sweet ass of yours.”
his finger pressed against your asshole over the fabric while his other hand held you open making you let out a quiet squeal, your hips lifting off him slightly.
“do you remember what you confessed when you were tipsy that night? all those dirty things you said about wanting me everywhere, including here,” he lets out a hum as his thumb traces the shape of your puckered hole that clenches for him at the feather light touch.
“oh god...”
you panted almost embarrassed that he still remembered the way you specified wanting him to take your anal virginity. he hadn't forgotten a single word of yours and the memory already has his cock pulsing in your hand.
“only if you want it... wanna claim every part of you, gotta stretch you a lot yeah?”
“and if i win?” you ask expectantly but with a shaky voice.
“then you can do whatever you want to me… anything baby,” he clarifies.
“anything i want?” you croaked out as a shy giggle escapes you feeling the boldness rise in you even more.
“mhmm.”
the manly approving noise makes you meet his gaze steadily and you are more than sure that he can see all the deepest fantasies in your eyes too.
“i get to edge you for as long as i want, tie you up if i feel like it and bring you right to the edge over and over without letting you cum until i say so,” you stammer in a single breath, your cheeks turning a deeper shade of pink from the tension and also from how naughty even your own words sounded to your ears. to distract yourself from his intense eyes, your hand brushed over his bulge again squeezing his cock and feeling it jump under your fingers.
“i wanna see you begging for me please...” you pleaded sweetly. you wanted to be the one in control.
“yeah?” a wicked grin spread across his face after a second of surprise and the thought of you taking charge like that clearly turned him on more than he expected. he loved when you showed this side even if he was usually the dominant one. he loved the way you've bloomed since the marriage, how the first few times of intimacy you've been so nervous and scared but you're now voicing what you want and desire so confidently with no fear or insecurity at all. he lived for it and loved it so much. his dick was already giving him a hard time. hearing you say that was so damn hot, he could probably just nut from you whispering filthy things to him.
“do you really wanna edge me? make me suffer huh?” he leaned in, nipping at your lower lip before kissing you deeply again with renewed force.
“i'm so fucking hard just thinking about it.”
he grumbles against your lips, a string of saliva connecting your mouths before breaking as his hand fisted the back of your head, making you moan against his mouth.
“but don't think i'll go easy on you, you know how good i am at making you cum don't you princess?” he didn't let you speak again as his hands roamed everywhere, desperately squeezing your breasts through the shirt, then sliding back down to cup your pussy making your hips rock into him.
“jungkook...” you whimpered. you knew that the game had started already and you weren't one to back down. he already has you weak on your knees before the main thing started. you pushed his sweatpants down just enough to free his thick cock which bobbed against his stomach and wrapped your hand around his length, stroking him slowly. your thumb settled over his tip, feeling around the slit and how profusely he was releasing precum. you knew that was his most sensitive spot. you'd learned his body so thoroughly.
“keep that up and i might lose before we even start the game.”
he gruffs out as his jaw clenches hard. he landed a sharp spank on your inner thigh making you jolt with a sudden cry which he immediately soothed with rubs as the slight pain turned into bliss. you didn't know how pain mixed with pleasure could feel so euphoric and turn you dizzy but he was teaching you new things every day. you laughed breathlessly against his lips and gave him another stroke.
“that's the plan if i want to win isn't it?” he lets out a playful rumble as his fingers slip inside your panties which reduced your laughter to a gasp. he collected a bit of your wetness to bring it up to your swollen clit hidden under the hood to rub it with your slickness. your head fell on his chest as you let out a long moan, your hand not stopping pumping his cock and spreading his precum down his shaft. the room was immediately filled with the sounds of your shared heavy breathing and the wet sounds of kissing and touching each other. both of you were completely lost in the anticipation of the game ahead as he stared at you with the predatory gaze that made your heart flutter with want while his chest rose and fell rapidly.
“so we're doing this baby?” his voice was rough with arousal. he brushed a strand of hair from your face tenderly even as his other hand continued between your thighs, the tip of his finger sneakily nudging against your gaping hole but never giving you what you want.
“shit... i can't wait to have your mouth on my cock while i bury my face in this pretty cunt. you want it don’t you?” you nodded almost dumbly, feeling overwhelmed and wanting him to touch you better as you were almost gushing on his hands.
“yes… yes… please.”
both your eyes locked together as your hand tightened on his cock.
“but if i win… i'm doing what i want to you.”
he hissed through his teeth, his control slipping as his hips rolled into yours. he loved seeing you explore this side of yourself with him, just the thought of you like that made something primal stir in him… he wanted his girl like this taking what she wants, using him how she prefers.
“alright deal. the winner gets to have all the fun… but i'm warning you sweet girl, i'm gonna eat this pussy so good you'll be crying my name before you can even focus on sucking me.”
he manhandles you suddenly, making you shudder at the sheer power of him. he already positions you to his liking. he lay on his back, pulling you on top of him so your thighs straddled his face and your mouth hovered over his cock. his breath fanned over your clothed pussy, your own mouth just inches away from his heavy balls and leaking tip and your breasts squished on his thigh.
“ready wife?” he murmurs using the nickname that always makes you tremble because it was like he was setting his ownership on you with it. reminding you who you were to him. you let out another whiny whimper as his hand gripped your hips, pulling you down closer to his waiting salivating mouth. he pressed a loving kiss against your inner thigh.
“remember… don’t cum too fast or i win and this ass is mine tonight.”
you shivered at the promise and lowered your head to lick a long stripe up the underside of his cock all the way to the tip. expertly making his movements flatter.
“you're the one who's going to lose koo…”
he clicks his tongue with a snicker as his teeth grab hold of the edge of your panties, ready to pull them to the side, eyeing your cunt obsessively. like a man dying to have his last meal.
“uh huh? only time will say that…”
his dark chuckle held no sense of cockiness underneath, just seriousness that had your eyes widen in lustful fear. the game was on and none of you were going easy on the other. determined to make the other break and earn the prize. he pushes your panties to the side, your eyes on his thick cock that stood right before your face when you push his sweatpants down as well, it was throbbing with each heartbeat, the head already pink and leaking precum.
“fuck baby,” he growls. his voice held that cocky edge that made you clench as his hot breath fanned directly over your glistening folds as you shivered. he took in the sight of your cunt obsessively and the way it seemed to him.
“this pretty little pussy is absolutely leaking for me.”
you were dripping juices down your thigh, and he couldn't help but catch a droplet in his tongue that was trailing down your thigh. his hands gripped your full ass cheek as you started growing heady from his words alone and he hadn't even started yet. he spread your cheeks wide to expose every bit of you, his thumb brushing teasingly close to your puckered hole and slit alike.
“mmm..” you panted as nervous excitement went through you as you leaned forward, wrapping both of your smaller hands around the base of his cock. you felt him throb around your grip, your palms never fully meeting.
“i'm gonna try,” you whispered breathily. you had determination in your voice even though the neediness was present.
“you talk so big koo... i'm gonna edge you until you beg for release.”
jungkook lets out a throaty chuckle, the sound vibrating deliciously against your hypersensitive pussy making your hips twitch involuntarily. his fingers dug deeper into your ass pulling you down onto his waiting mouth, forcing your dipping folds to meet his hungry mouth in one motion.
“ah!” you let out a shocked moan.
“we'll see exactly who wins baby, we both know how it'll ends,” he grumbles.
“now sit on my tongue and let me taste what's mine.” he grumbles impatiently.
the instant his tongue dragged a path between your folds, you moaned loudly your nails digging into his abs and you forgot what you were supposed to do, your cheek falling on his stomach. he had this urgency in him today, not the usual way he ate you out like he wanted to win and he was set on it. your eyes fall on his cock and you immediately remember what you were supposed to do, your mouth wrapping around the head of his cock, sucking hard to engulf him. you whined at his salty taste while he tasted you like you were the drug he craved. your tongue swirled around his slit to lap up every single drop of his leaking precum as your cheeks hollowed trying your best to take him fully inside.
“shit yes just like that, damn it. your mouth is heaven,” he groaned into your pussy, nose pressing into your clit making your hips jerk forward but he held you still.
“don't run from it,” his skilled tongue flicked rapidly over your engorged clit, precisely lapping through your slick folds and the wetness you've started releasing. he sucked one lip, tugging gently before releasing it with a wet pop then alternated the sensations with teasing nibbles from his teeth around your sensitive labia.
“uh... koo!” the pleasure pain made your eyes water as you fought to maintain focus but you tried your best to bob your head lower in his cock, taking inch after inch until he nudged against the back of your head while you fought your gag instincts. you hollowed your cheeks even more, creating loud sloppy gluck gluck sounds that were obscene even to your own tears while your hand twisted around the base that you couldn't take fully inside your mouth. you gave your everything to it, also not leaving his full balls alone, cupping them and massaging them in your palm feeling them tighten further in your hands. you pulled back slightly to lick a slow trail down the underside of his shaft knowing he was extra sensitive on the underside of his cock so you focused there before sucking one of his balls fully into your mouth while your fist pumped him steadily.
“shitt!” he lets out a string of curses. you sobbed on his balls as he suckled your clit more prominently,his hips bucked upward, driving more of his length into your throat.
“fuuuck your mouth baby god—” his voice breaks on a husky noise.
“you were born to suck this cock weren't you huh? hmm?” his hips thrusted into your mouth along with his words, it was like he couldn't get enough of how it filled your throat. he watched you clench around nothing but he instantly rewarded you by plunging his tongue as deep as it could reach your hole, fucking you with it in insistent motions while his nose ground against your clit with every movement, he guided your hips to grind down. your head spun with overwhelming ecstasy, not being able to breathe on his cock as your movements seemed to slow the more he focused on your clit and tongue fucking you. he used your body like you were a toy, guiding you up and down his mouth and you were so wet that you were sliding so easily.
“mmmphh ugh i-i koo.”
you managed to garble out with a cry against his girth, tears streaming down your face, your eyes squeezing shut as your breasts pressed against his hips. your pussy remained incredibly sensitive from the days leading up to this that every single lick, suck and thrust was making you feel like you'd combust as he pulled back just enough to speak, watching your hips tremble with a smirk as he panted against you.
“c'mon grind on my face harder. use your husband's mouth like the needy girl you are.”
he dove back in with renewed ferocity this time, zeroing in on your clit, sucking it between his lips in a hard suctioning motion that had you wailing while two of his fingers slid through your drenched folds. you sputtered, eyes widening as he circled your slit spreading your wetness everywhere before pushing inside you slowly, curling upward immediately to find your sweet spot while his tongue remained on your clit.
“w-wait!” you squealed after pulling your mouth off his cock.
“i-it was ahh oh god, we're just supposed to use our mout,” his cock slapped against your cheek, splattering his essence there as well. jungkook chuckled with a snicker.
“was it? i don't remember mentioning any rules baby,” his tongue flicked your clit faster and faster, building an unbearable pressure while his fingers pumped.
“y-y-you cheat.”
you didn't want him to win especially by cheating so you redoubled your efforts on his cock, desperately not wanting to back down as you took him deeper into your throat until your nose pressed against his pelvis. you gagged but pushed through, saliva dripping messily down his shaft and onto his balls as you tugged them with increasing urgency and you let out a satisfied moan when you felt his own movements falter as he lets out a long growl into you but even though his mouth faltered, his fingers kept on going, scissoring and twisting, while you tried to pathetically find a rhythm to make him break fast. it seemed laughable now because it was obvious who was going to win anyways.
you alternated between fast sucks and tight twisting strokes of your hand while focusing specifically on the tip of the cock but jungkook was merciless even as his thighs shook. he was driving you closer to the edge and you couldn't stop yourself. the combined sensations were too much and your thighs were violently shaking around his head, your hips humping his face on their own while you made muffled noises on his cock that he seemed to like too, the vibrations of it making him thrash into your mouth. every muscle in your body tensed with anticipation, your nipples were being stimulated too from being pressed against his hard stomach. jungkook's fingers curled steadily, feeling how tight you were becoming around his fingers and he knew you needed to cum so bad he could feel it building.
“don't you dare hold back, let me drink every single drop.”
he encouraged you as your moans turned broken, your efforts growing sloppier and slower as your own pleasure seemed to wrap around you. he used his teeth to bite onto your engorged clit slightly, just enough for it to burn and for you to shatter completely while he had a smirk on his face, knowing his own ways to make you break.
“jungkook—oh my god, fuck ahh.”
the cry tore from your mouth in a high pitched squeal, your pussy gushing slickness all over his tongue and fingers in squirts that he eagerly swallowed down. you gripped his thighs hard, no longer having the energy to keep your mouth working on his cock as you quivered endlessly, your watery eyes fixed on this twitching cock that was still so hard which meant that he didn't cum, your vision blurring as you rode the peak while he gave you kitten like leaks. your juices coating his face and dripping down his neck. jungkook groaned in satisfaction, never once stopping his ministrations, drinking every drop of your release with greedy hungry sounds. his fingers paused inside you, now not moving.
“uh... mmm mmm hmm…” you made quiet whimpery noises.
“good girl, such a good fucking girl for me... gave me everything.”
he pressed a kiss against your ass cheek while you tried helplessly to pull away from the now overwhelming sensations but his hands kept you locked in place, making sure to clean every bit of you while you panted heavily right beside his cock. finally he eased his fingers out and gave you a soft kiss against your pulsing clit before slapping your ass playfully. even though he didn't cum himself, his cock was already twitching in anticipation of what was coming next as he stared at your gaping swollen pussy with hungry eyes.
“told you princess, you cum first every single time. now... what am i gonna do with my well earned prize?”
throughout the day there was too much tension between you both while he was circling you like a predator does to a prey waiting for the perfect moment but not striking yet.
you both decided to take a shower together from the intense heat that evening and your body now lay in the middle of the bed. the air was charged and also the musk of arousal which didn’t seem to fade at all. jungkook hovered above you, his hair falling messily over his forehead as he gazed down at you with those hooded eyes. his lips met yours in an unhurried kiss, the kind that started slowly but quickly deepened into something primal, his tongue stroking yours making you moan into the kiss. your hands roamed the expanse of his bare back and the subtle flex of his shoulders as he supported his weight above you.
“baby..” he starts huskily, breaking the kiss to talk against your mouth, his breath mingling with yours. he nipped at your lower lip, tugging it between his teeth before soothing it down with his tongue earning another whimper from you.
“i've been thinking about this all fucking day about playing with that pretty little ass you want it hm? you want me to play with it tonight?” his words were filthy yet laced with love that made your heart race even faster, his eyes locked on yours as one of his hands cupped the side of your face and you nodded slowly.
“tell me exactly how much you want it… my fingers or my mouth sweetheart?” your cheeks reddened, but the honesty poured out of you in a breathless tone.
“yes… god jungkook, i want it so badly, i want both… please, i can't stop thinking about it. t-take my ass tonight.”
the admission coming out of you with no shame made your pussy throb as another droplet of arousal leaked out of you and he smiled down at you with that wicked curve of his lips which expressed so many promises. most of them included endless pleasure.
“mhmm yeah?” he leaned down trailing kisses along your jawline, sucking and nibbling just below your ear then moving lower to latch into the column of your neck. his hands explored too, palms cupping your bare breasts feeling their weights, thumbing your nipples making you arch into him with a whine, pressing more firmly into him. he continues his descent, kissing a path down your stomach, pressing little kisses and leaving a trail of his saliva, his tongue coming out to circle your belly button which makes you gasp and he smiles, knowing how much you love it when he does that. he reached the edge of your panties rather than yanking them off immediately, his nose sank on the spot where a drenched spot had formed, inhaling your musky scent like he was starving. you squirmed as he stroked the fabric covering your pussy, pressing the heel of his palm firmly against your clit.
“fuckk you're already soaked through these tiny things.”
you only wore a flimsy black thong and nothing else but it was like you were wearing nothing at all from how tiny it was. your arousal coated his hands, you were dripping just from the thought of him toying with your ass and you were weeping for attention already. you squirmed beneath him, hips rolling against his hand as a whimper left you at how he didn’t give you the exact friction you wanted.
“koo… don’t tease me please,” you pleaded. you couldn’t handle it tonight, you'd been anticipating this exact moment for so long. jungkook chuckled at your words.
“i got you baby.”
his fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties and began to drag them down your legs slowly. your lips parted as the cool air kissed your exposed pussy as he tossed the soaked garment aside. he settled comfortably between your spread thighs, his hands gripping you, parting you wider for him. he leaned in pressing hot kisses along the skin of your inner thighs, alternating between nips and soothing laps of his tongue working his mouth closer to your center. finally he put his mouth on your cunt when he realized how wanton you were getting, dragging the flat of his tongue in one long stripe all the way down to your asshole.
“nghh k-koo!” you mewled instantly, your hand going down to grip his hair twisting it into your grip as he spends some time continuing his relentless assault on your pussy. collecting every drop of arousal and spreading it messily, while your thighs trembled on either side of his head as he hummed. he suckled on your clit for a few minutes building your arousal and preparing you for what was to come but he didn’t waste too much time knowing how much you needed it. he was himself excited for this new exploration with you. he pulled back just enough to reach for the bottle of lube on the nightstand that was already half finished from the number of times you both have used it earlier. he uncapped the bottle and you watched with half lidded eyes as he squeezed a generous amount on his palm, rubbing it between his fingers to warm it up knowing how important lube is for ass play and he wanted to make it enjoyable enough for you.
“oh.”
a surprised yelp leaves you as he suddenly spits right on your tight hole watching the way it drips just inside. he grabs a pillow, putting it beneath your ass positioning you with a gentle murmur, pressing a kiss on your knee so both your holes are perfectly exposed to his eyes, your thighs nearly touching your breasts.
“baby look at me,” he murmurs, cupping your face with his other clean hand so you look directly in his eyes.
“we're gonna go really slow tonight okay? this is all new for you yeah?”
“if anything hurts, you tell me immediately. promise me also you're allowed to use the safe words whenever you want,” he says in a soothing tone. you nodded, your breath already shaky.
“i promise koo, i want this… want this with you.”
he leaned in, pressing a soft peck against your lips then against your cheek.
“good girl, i'm gonna start now. is that alright?”
“y-yes.” you stammer.
“gonna get you slippery for me at first so it's enjoyable for you.”
this turned you on so much further, the way he always expressed what he'd do to you in his raspy aroused voice, it always makes your stomach fill with excessive butterflies.
“keep your thighs spread… yes exactly like that.”
he guided your own hands down your thighs so you could hold yourself open for him and once he was satisfied, his fingers started working, thoroughly spreading the warm lube and spit all over your dripping pussy lips before going lower while you panted hard. he focused especially on the puckered ring of your ass, his brows furrowing in concentration. you were so tiny and tight there and he swallowed hard, his other hand pressing on the bed in order to control himself. he used a single fingertip rotating around the rim without pushing in yet and he could feel you tensing every time he neared your entrance.
“don't worry baby, i'm not gonna penetrate yet okay?” you nodded hastily with a whimper as he circled slowly, adding a little more lube just letting you get used to the sensation of having a finger there, knowing you weren’t used to anything unknown there. you were still an anal virgin even though he did eat your ass before, this was the first time he made proper contact with his fingers so it made every sensation feel amplified and he could see you clenching constantly which caused your hole to greedily swallow some more of the lube. his eyes met yours again as he saw the nervous excitement on your face and he gave you a reassuring smile.
“relax for me yeah? i'm gonna play with this sweet cunt too so it feels good,” he rasps. your head pressed back into the pillow as you exhaled shakily, trying to loosen the tension in your muscles while his thumb continued rubbing.
“uh…” his fingers focused on your clit after parting your folds for him, causing dual stimulation, with his other fingers playing with your ass all around it, making your hips twitch as he looked down at you in awe.
“does that feel nice baby? my thumb on your clit while i get you ready?”
“yes… ahh yes.” you moaned, eyes fluttering.
he massaged and coaxed the sensitive ring to soften you for him, the feeling was so addictive even you’ve started to relax more, your ass is no longer as tense. he alternated seamlessly between your pussy and ass, dipping two fingers shallowly to gather more wetness and then spreading it back down rubbing it thoroughly around your asshole, making loud wet noises that had your head dipping into the pillow, muffled noises leaving you.
“that's it…”
he leaned closer pressing a kiss on your lower belly to relax you as his rubbing grew more insistent, keeping the pressure light but insistent, using the broad pad of his thumb to press and circle, stretching you without penetrating. he watched with hooded eyes as both your holes fluttered and glistened so much from lube and your own essence, they looked like they'd swallow his fingers and cock all at once but he gave your body time to open up. as more minutes passed by with the relentless rubs and getting the lube everywhere, he finally decided to ease just the very tip of his finger past your rim, just a little bit.
“a-ah,”
it burned, it definitely did because you weren’t used to it at all but he held it there and didn’t push any deeper right away while his thumb kept working on your clit slowly.
“tell me how it feels. is the pain too much? should i stop?” he stroked up and down your thigh, his eyes never leaving your face.
“no pain.” you huffed, biting your lip.
“its… i don’t know.. weird but good.”
it was tingling in the best way. it felt very weird like it wasn’t meant to be there but at the same time it felt so good.
“god you're so tight back here,” he lets out a harsh breath, his eyes focused on how your tight hole gripped the very tip of his finger. your legs were threatening to shut, not being able to hold yourself apart, little noises leaving you. he kept the pressure light never forcing, never pushing, just doing what your body wants and what you're able to enjoy as he spread your legs more with a slight push to keep you open and not tighten you further.
“just relax… doing so good for me… let me make it feel amazing.”
he slowly withdrew the tip only to rub his thumb around your asshole again in long strokes, stretching the rim gently outward without fully penetrating, repeating it again and again until the resistance melted as he watched the way you seemed to throb and gape, showing the pink inside of your ass. your back arched with a sob, your hands fisting the sheets beside you, already feeling hypersensitive as your body screamed for more. his fingers settle on your pussy again sliding two of his fingers at one go from how wet you were and you cried out.
“ahh hahh koo…”
he curled his finger inside your pussy while stroking his thumb over your ass, letting your ass swallow his thumb naturally inside on its own from how softened you were, now his thumb pressing a little more firmly against your back entrance.
“still good?” he checked, pausing when he realized you were getting too high on the dual sensations of being penetrated in both holes.
“talk to me love.”
“so good… don’t stop mmmh.”
you gasped, reaching down to grip his wrist, not to pull away but to feel him closer and he smiled, shifting even closer to you knowing that’s what you needed, his fingers pumping slowly while he lets you adjust to his thumb inside your ass, letting the burn fade to pleasure. the sensation of being filled in such a new way made your whole body arch off the bed as you pulled at the sheets. he leaned down immediately, sucking your clit into his mouth, tongue flicking while his thumb sank a fraction deeper barely the first knuckle. quiet little “ah mmh nghs” leave you with so many sensations together of him fingering your pussy, his mouth on your clit and his thumb on your clit, it felt like you'd cum all over his face immediately. your inner walls were fluttering more around his fingers.
“you're opening up so beautifully baby. i'm so proud of you. does it feel full?” you nodded with a sob, hips rocking a bit into his hand.
“tell me when i can move it.”
“move please…” he started giving shallow thrusts, gently pulling his fingers out of your pussy to focus entirely on your ass, coaxing your body as his thumb curled a bit this time to massage the inner walls of your ass. he found that magical spot that made your entire body jolt.
“there—oh my god right there koo!” you cried out, your voice breaking as he focused on that spot rubbing it with the pad of his thumb deep inside you, curling and thrusting as his other hand didn’t leave your clit alone at all.
“right here?”
he curled his thumb down again, making your head thrash side to side like you were going crazy as continuous moans left you.
“yes—yes,” you chant, sobbing as you drip more arousal down his thumb, your juices flowing freely, coating his hands and dripping down onto the sheets along with the extra lube he used. he watched your blissed out face with a pleased look even though he was the one pleasing you, his cock inside his boxers hard as a rock while he kept the rhythm of his thumb inside your ass. you let out a wounded whimper when his fingers faltered on your clit to focus more on your ass.
“please don’t stop touching my clit too… ahh.”
“never baby..” his hand returns to rub tight circles on your swollen clit as your moans grow louder and needier. he leans down, kissing your stomach and thighs anywhere he could reach adoringly while his thumb keeps on working inside you, making wet plunging noises.
“does my thumb feel bigger now hmm?” he coos as his thumb shifts inside you all the way inside.
“mm hmm.” you couldn’t manage to form proper words, so lost in sensations and he understood exactly how it felt for you as he twisted his thumb a bit just to feel you clench on him. he drank in the sight of your breasts rising and falling with each ragged breath and the way your stomach quivers each time his thumb is brought inside. your inner thighs and the sides of your butt were coated in essence. he growls as he feels you stretch and flutter on him. he leans upward to capture your mouth in a consuming kiss, his tongue sliding against yours sensually taking away every bit of your breath. you let out a long moan into the kiss, tasting your arousal and you let out little mewls into his mouth when he pulls back.
“you want me to try putting a whole finger inside now pretty girl?”
“yes… k-koo, p-please,” you stutter, your fingers clutching the sheets. he chuckles softly as he trails open mouthed kisses down the column of your neck, sucking lightly at your pulse point, his thumb pausing inside your ass.
“such a good wife, asking so nicely for what she needs.”
his hand goes lower, cupping one ass cheek, squeezing it and spreading you open as his thumb slides out of you with a pop making you whine, your hole gaping emptily fluttering before squeezing shut. he coated two of his fingers with another layer of lube to the hilt and pressed it back against your rim, touching it feather lightly and applying just a little pressure with one finger before pulling away. you whimper loudly, your hips rolling forward in search of more friction, the denial only heightening every nerve ending. you selfishly wanted more now that you’ve gotten the initial feeling of having something inside your ass.
“shhh, easy for me princess.” he coos soothingly, pressing a kiss on your thigh as he watches your reactions with rapt attention. your ass winks against his finger wanting to have it inside.
“hah…” you let out a frustrated whine as he feels how hungry your hole is getting for him. he held the steady pressure making your neglected pussy pulse as well.
“you want my fingers baby?” he questions cockily and you moan.
“i—i want it so much.” you sobbed out, cheeks burning with embarrassment and your need, you felt so dirty but so incredibly good and he felt his heart swell looking at the pout on your lips and your teary eyes. so he rewards your honesty by slowly sinking the tip of his middle finger inside, holding it still as you let out a moan of anticipation your walls trying to pull him deeper. he twists the finger gently to slightly to open you up.
“you're so damn tight even just around one finger.”
he grumbles pressing his forehead against yours as he watches, mesmerized by the sight of his digit slowly disappearing inside your body but he could still feel the way you're tensed up.
“breathe deep for me… in and out yes… let me slide in deeper where you need it.”
you exhale with a whimper, forcing your muscles to relax and that causes his finger to slide inside you even deeper, reaching a place you didn’t even know existed inside you making you keen. he adds even more lube, letting the liquid drip down your crack as he starts working a second finger along the first, stretching you wider slowly. loud “uh uh uhs” leaves you at the foreign pleasure and how your ass had easily stretched around both his fingers and he was knuckles deep, hitting that spot that made you feel like you wanted to run from it and also wanted more at the same time.
“how are you feeling?” he asks, his chest rising and falling as he presses his bulge down on the bed to get a little friction from how hard he was from watching you like this. he could probably just cum from watching you experience this.
“it's t-too much,” you writhed.
“want me to slow down?” he asks patiently.
“n-no move please”
he nods, moving both his fingers slowly in a pumping motion, not going too fast making the pleasure radiate outward and your pussy leak, his hand rubbing circles on your hips. he leans down, grabbing a nipple inside his mouth, sucking hard while he continues his exploratory thrusts of his fingers.
“oh god… k-koo, oh koo,” you babble, one hand flying up to tangle in his hair pushing your breast further into his mouth. he lifts his head watching you moan and squirm.
“does it feel good princess? my fingers fucking this ass open so carefully mm?” he pushes deeper then scissoring his fingers, curling them to massage and stimulate your inner walls. you were taking two of his fingers so beautifully even though he was thinking if you'd be able to take it from how tiny you were here but you opened up so well for him.
he couldn’t imagine how good it would feel when he finally slides his cock inside this tight ass of yours. you respond to his words with a hard clench on his fingers and he growls at the sensation, his cock twitching as if you'd clenched around his cock instead. he maintains the slow pace, pumping his fingers in and out while spreading the lube, your moans climbing higher as you were slowly reaching the edge but every time he pulls back almost completely before reaching back inside, drawing out the pleasure leaving you begging incoherently.
“please… i need more,” you finally whine, his fingers didn’t feel like enough and he didn’t let you release.
“i know baby, i know… i'm gonna make you cum soon,” he twists his fingers inside that special spot inside you that has your legs stuttering.
“gonna give you the butt plug now okay?” your eyes widen slightly at his words as he reaches for the medium sized black silicone plug that he coats with lube, his fingers leaving your ass, leaving a wet patch on the sheets. an uncertain noise leaves you but he immediately puts his hand on you.
“only if you want it baby. here, touch it if you want.” he encourages. he gives you the plug, letting you explore it as you watch it with hooded eyes biting your lip, wondering how it'd feel inside you.
“we can skip it if you want and i can make you cum with my fingers instead angel. no pressure.”
you took a deep breath.
“i—i wanna try, just go slow.”
he grins. you were such a brave strong girl and he was so proud of you.
“of course i will go slow, you don’t have to worry about that yeah?” he hums soothingly.
he brings the silicone and presses it firmly against your loosened, still fluttering hole from the thorough fingering he'd given you as he rubs against it, letting your ass get the feel of it first.
“are you ready?” you let out a shaky nod, taking a deep breath as he instructed, feeling the texture of the plug as the narrow tip breaches your entrance with surprising ease at first before the increasing girth begins to stretch you wider and deeper than his fingers ever had making you feel this intense fullness.
“ahhugh jungkook!” you let out a wail full of ecstasy, your toes curling as you watch your ass swallow it. he does it so slowly as to not shock you or hurt you mistakenly.
“just a little more…”
he pauses as the widest part penetrates you, and you feel like you're stretched to your absolute limit, your nails digging into his wrist, his finger going to your clit to rub it so your mind doesn’t focus on any of the little pain.
“i-it's pressing against e-everything at once,” you cried. you couldn’t even think straight as you squeezed your eyes shut tightly.
“i know my love… that’s it, you're doing so well taking it all for me.”
he presses kisses on the inside of your thigh as tears start to stream down your face at the overwhelming sensations. his free hand keeps the plug steady and with one last onward firm push, the toy seats itself fully inside you with a lewd pop, the base nestling snugly between your spread cheeks.
“uhhh, ahhhhahngh.”
you mumble out incoherent noises at the new fullness of being filled like this as jungkook groans loudly at the erotic sight, his eyes blown wide with lust as he spreads your ass cheeks to look at the way the jewel is right in between. he presses a kiss directly above the base of the plug, his breathing fanning over it watching you clench on it.
“there it is, all plugged up nice for me. how does it feel hm? i wanna hear it all.”
“so… so full and heavy, like there's this pressure inside that won't let go.”
you whimper shifting your hips experimentally and your lips part in an ‘o’ at the way it moves the plug inside you grinding against your inner spots. it feels so different than how his fingers felt but in a good way. it was like you lived for pleasure only and only existed solely for that. he made you feel like you were floating in the skies, making you feel these out of the world sensations that you wouldn’t even imagine. but you were aching from the denial wanting to cum and your desperate noises proved that jungkook didn’t need your words to understand that. your hips rolling subtly as you chase more of that friction the plug provides. he doesn't make you wait even a second longer, his mouth descending hungrily on your dripping pussy using his tongue to lick all over you, sucking on your clit to quickly bring you to your orgasm, the sensation adding up to the plug buried in your ass, making you cry out loud and your eyes rolled to the back of your head. he didn't tease at all and urgently fucked your pussy with his tongue, humming against you loudly knowing it drives you to the edge quick enough.
“koo don't stop, hah pleaseee,” you whined out, fisting his hair as you grind messily against his face chasing your edge.
“gonna make you cum so hard,” he promises and dives back, sliding two fingers back inside your pussy while his tongue works your clit, curling and scissoring and your body could barely keep up with it as you writhed all over the bed, your legs kicking around his waist and your movements kept on shifting the plug inside you. your thighs begin to tremble as the orgasm approaches you like a tidal wave ready to crash over you, your breathing coming in short desperate pants.
“please please please.” you babbled mindlessly, not knowing even yourself what you were begging for but knowing that you needed it.
“cum for me baby, let me feel this tight pussy squeezing my fingers while your ass stays stuffed.” he groans against your clit sucking hard and curling his fingers. you thought you might die of pleasure or lose consciousness when his other hand reached down to press against the base of the plug pushing it deep inside you, your mouth opening on a silent scream as you started crying like a baby as you orgasmed. your entire body seized and convulsed as the pleasure rippled through you making both your holes flutter, the orgasm lasting longer than anything you'd ever experienced before.
“jungkookkk,” you cried out his name repeatedly and he moaned in response into your pussy, licking you through it with care as his fingers continued to give slow thrusts.
“atta girl..”
he praises you just to watch you twitch once more as you collapse into a utter spent mess beneath him, your throat no longer able to produce proper words, feeling your mind go blank, the only thing you were capable of producing was his name, your legs having no energy to be out back together. he finally pulls back slowly, his face shiny with your essence, satisfaction on his face as he admires the sight of the plug inside your ass and your beautiful ruined body laid out before him.
it was indeed his favorite work of art.
“i want you to keep it inside for the whole night.”
from his words alone, you knew the night was far from over and every nerve in your body looked forward to it in anticipation.
life was supposed to go forward the way you had always been told.
find someone, fall in love, get married, have kids.
that was the formula - the routine of every day life that you, yourself, had agreed to. it was supposed to be easy and carefree, the type of love that felt natural and yet definite. it was supposed to be certain.
jeon jungkook.
the love of your life. no one, nothing, could compare to him; the one constant in your life since you were no older than five. two years older than you, he had been the object of your infatuations even then, and though you both harboured a crush on one another as you grew up, it was only when you were 14 that you both actually pursued something.
you both came from broken homes, with your parents entangled in the world of drugs and abuse, his absent more times than present. you had each other though, and that was all either of you had ever really needed - that much had been true for years. it didn’t take long to fall in love with him, not when he treated you like blooming flowers in the first touch of spring; you were more than just his girl. you were his y/n.
no one blinked when he proposed, everyone half expecting it, and neither of you had wanted to wait to plan a lavish wedding when you were both the only constants in each other’s lives. and so, with cheap rings, a random dress you had found at the bottom of your wardrobe and his scuffed shoes - you had become husband and wife.
jungkook was the best partner you could have ever asked for. money was tight in the beginning as he threw himself into his job, making sure he had enough to spoil you rotten even if that meant coming home exhausted. it killed you to see him working so hard, but he never complained, not even once. it was done in the pursuit of his sweet wife, and therefore just.
he quickly began climbing the ranks, his intelligence unmatched, his speed and efficiency making him a force to be reckoned with. in a mere seven years, he had managed to go from the lowest ranking worker in the company right to head office, before formally being announced as ceo.
it was unheard of. people like him, people like you, they didn’t live like this. it felt like over night your entire life had changed, as the tiny, one bed apartment transformed into a penthouse suite in your city’s most reputable area, your beaten down car now more lavish than you could ever dream of. your clothes - silks, linens and luxurious patterns. you were a changed woman, all at the hands of your husband.
that was when the cracks had began to form.
the late nights began, jungkook holed up in his office for far longer than anyone else at the company, stacks of paper all around as he tried to crack numbers before the next day could bring its own workload. you didn’t mind at first, more so worried over anything else.
you packed late dinners, going up to his office and eating them with him just to keep him company, to ground him which he needed more than you could ever realise. he would sit you on his lap as he worked, all whilst you napped peacefully on his shoulder as though this was perfectly normal.
the first few months, it worked. after that, it could no longer hide the gaping hole that had begun to appear.
missed dinners. missed dates. jungkook showing up at two in the morning despite everyone else going home at five in the afternoon - this wasn’t normal. wasn’t healthy. the amount of arguments that were being caused due to his workaholic nature was alarming, especially considering neither of you had ever even raised your voices to one another prior to this.
your heart was getting heavier and heavier.
not because you doubted his love for you - that wasn’t even a question in your mind, that much was certain. if anything, jungkook loved you too much, entirely and wholly, with every single decision made in his life somehow tracing back to you in one way or another. whether it was purchasing things, buying them with the intent of impressing you, making you happy or smile. every opportunity, every signed contract, every bastard fucking meeting that he could feel so deeply in his bones was done with the intention of giving you a life so soft you would never experience hardship again.
that was where the problem lay.
jungkook didn’t know how to love in a way that could nurture your relationship through this, and so, he did the only thing he could. he sacrificed.
slowly, painfully, the realisation that somewhere between the neglect, the late nights and unanswered phone calls, your husband had stopped being your husband at all. he had become a mere ghost in your shared home.
the night you had made your decision was one that felt imprinted in your memory.
it was past midnight, the harsh light of your phone reminding you with each passing moment. the rain was harsh too, with it being the middle of autumn, causing you to curl deeper into the covers on your bed but it did nothing to chase the cold away. dinner had long gone cold downstairs, with your housekeeper giving you a long, sad look before leaving to her own home, patting you on the shoulder in comfort.
your heart hurt so fucking much.
your phone was untouched, with messages sent hours prior despite the lack of response.
‘where are you?’
‘are you coming home tonight?’
‘jungkook, you promised.’
‘i miss you.’
you felt pathetic. humiliation ran up and down your veins at the thought of having to beg for a morsel of attention from your husband, but what else were you supposed to do? what else could you do? loneliness had a tendency to do that to people.
the sound of the front door finally opening had your eyes looking up, no longer staring into space, thinking. overthinking.
jungkook finally stumbled in, hours and hours late, shoulders tense and black coat half wet due to the rain outside. his phone had died hours ago, and his brain was a jumble of numbers and stakeholders, still muttering under his breath over something one of his colleagues had said. he was exhaustion personified.
“baby.” he exhaled deeply upon the sight of you still up.
1:47am.
you stared at him, unable to focus on anything in particular as your reddened eyes somehow glinted in the moonlit essence of the room. his heart ached.
“you missed it again.” you whispered, barely audible.
another dinner sat cold. jungkook had noticed it on his way up, muttering a small fuck under his breath, but seeing you now? something had changed, something was different and the sight scared him to death.
“i know, i..”
“you said you’d be home for six.”
“i know baby, i’m so sorry, we had an emergency shareholders meeting and it was just..fuck.”
“it’s always an emergency.” you muttered bitterly.
the silence that followed felt suffocating to you both.
he carefully placed his things at the door before approaching you slowly, as though you were a wounded fawn struck by an arrow from his own back - it was his fault. he knew that, he could see it.
“i’m trying.” he whispered softly, as he crouched to meet your eyes.
that was the worst thing of all - of course he was trying. you knew he was, you could see it in every single thing he did but that was the part that made it so much more painful. it was unbearable.
tears burned harshly behind your eyes, lip openly trembling as you stared at the only man to have ever felt your affection, the love of your life. the same man that would set himself on fire just to keep you warm, who had done this all for you - even you knew that but, the pain. you weren’t sure when loving him had started to hurt this badly.
“i don’t need..i don’t want any of this, jungkook.” you corrected as your voice cracked, hands gesturing to the too large room. “don’t care about penthouses or cars, or money..”
“it’s not about that.”
“then what is it about?” you cried, months and months of neglect finally collapsing all at once. “because i’m losing you anyway.”
the devastation that appeared on his face would have floored you on any other occasion, but the horrible feeling that had taken over was consuming you from the inside out. you couldn’t rid yourself of your thoughts, the looming decision that had grown and grown and grown, so much so that it felt bigger than you in both mind and body. you couldn’t stop the tears even if you wanted to.
“i feel so lonely.” you admitted honestly, a broken sob leaving your lips. “you’re all i have..all i’ve ever had and i feel lonely.”
the words physically wounded him as he felt his own tears begin to form, a horrible realisation fluttering through his body - this wasn’t fixable. he could see it now, the utter pain in your eyes, the way your body shook as you cried, and though he was crouched in front of you, arms wrapping around you; it wasn’t enough.
“i’ll fix this. i’ll fix this, fuck. y/n..” he shook, holding you so tightly, his heart beating out of his chest. “give me time. give me a chance. give me something, give me anything.”
you only cried harder at his words, collapsing entirely as the sobs racked through your body violently. you knew he meant it, knew he meant every single word, and you genuinely believed it too but you were tired.
so, so tired.
you knew that the love between you, no matter how deep, could not survive on patched up apologies and promises no longer.
the separation happened three weeks later.
perhaps that was too cruel of you - you should have given him more time, more chances, another opportunity to prove himself to you so he could actually begin repairing something that had already long collapsed before he had ever realised the damage. staying felt too painful, as though you were prodding delicate skin with a million sharpened blades. for once in your entire existence, you chose yourself.
you hated yourself for it.
you could no longer survive off of the memories of who your husband had once been, the once sweet teenage boy who slept on the streets with you just so you’d feel safe from the grasps of your parents. the man who had ran home to tell you about his promotion, who then sobbed in your arms at the mere prospect of getting to give you the life you deserved. oh, how each and every fibre of your being yearned for him, how it knew him by breath alone and yet it wasn’t enough. nothing could possibly hurt more.
packing your things nearly killed him. you remembered it vividly.
jungkook stood silently in the doorway of your shared bedroom, watching numbly, as though his soul had left his entire body as you packed up remnants of a life once shared with him. cardboard boxes were filled with your books, your makeup, your silly trinkets you had acquired together - the sight of you crying as you packed your wedding album so delicately was enough to have him bite back his own sob, shaking his head at the reality of the situation.
he hadn’t stopped you. it was the worst part.
jungkook was intimidating to most; hardened by his life experiences and the struggle he had been raised in, his only priority for the past decade being you. you didn’t like to go into his work, knowing he was quite literally a different person there - efficient, yes, but also ruthless. and yet, he stood, watching you as though his eyes couldn’t comprehend the scene in front of him, tears wiped harshly from his face in fear that it would only upset you more.
even in moments like this, he put you first.
his hands sat caged on either side of him, as you sobbed, and sobbed and sobbed. he wanted nothing more than to pick you up, cradle you, cherish you the way he so desperately wanted but in his love for you came your happiness. he was a man devoted to you, and he couldn’t cage you somewhere you no longer felt happy staying - he loved you too much to ever do that.
the divorce proceedings were somehow so much worse.
the media frenzy surrounding jeon jungkook, the elusive ceo who was known for his mysterious persona and dark eyes, was quite literally unbearable. the sudden separation exploded all over the tabloids and the internet, with headlines appearing faster than either of you could keep up with. the hate was too much, to which jungkook stepped in to silence everyone behind the scenes, throwing an insane amount of money at journalists to keep your name out of their filthy mouths. wife or not, you were one half of him and he’d be damned if you were spoken of in anyway that wasn’t praiseworthy.
you couldn’t even look at him during the hearings.
god, you tried. you wanted to, managing to sneak little glances where you caught him already staring at you, despair all over his face, but you couldn’t handle it, tears streaming out of your eyes almost immediately. he knew you loved him. he could see it, clear as day.
he looked sick, as though he hadn’t eaten for weeks, the mere sight of you enough to sustain him until the next meeting, where your feet lightly brushed against one another underneath the table in a subconscious way.
he barely spoke, only choosing to actually speak when he was asked a question, but other than that, he spent his time in the meetings staring at you longingly. he’d whisper a soft “don’t cry” whenever he’d see you tear up, your lip quivering each time you snuck a glance over, despite knowing it was breaking you.
he signed everything over to you immediately. his lawyers had practically choked, eyes wide as he silenced them almost harshly for even suggesting anything otherwise, your own eyebrows pulling together as you tried to reject. you didn’t want his money, you didn’t want what he had worked so hard for.
the penthouse, the cars, the accounts. every. fucking. thing.
“jungkook..” you had whispered through tears at the table, addressing him for the first time in so long. “i don’t want any of this, it’s yours. you’ve worked so hard.”
hearing you was enough to provide the energy he had been lacking, the very blood in his bloodstream pumping harder as he shook his head at you, offended.
“i got those things for you. it never belonged to me..was always yours.” he whispered back, causing you to look down with another choked sob.
it was the final hearing that truly cemented the empty hole inside of you.
your hands shook violently, so much so that you were unable to pick up your pen and sign away your marriage, the one thing you needed to do to finally let him go. everyone in the room frowned as they watched you, face flooded with tears as your digits simply refused, as though your body rejected the notion as being entirely unnatural. they all felt pity for you, for both of you - you both were clearly in love, and they couldn’t understand the gravity of the situation between you.
jungkook had stood from his side of the table, walking over to you until his hand had softly encapsulated your own, your quiet sobs only growing harsher at the feel of the one person you had been craving for so long. he held it, guiding you to your own, helping you write your name on the dotted line despite every part of his body aching.
ex-husband.
the thought should have killed you.
once it was signed, he held onto your hand, too scared to let go as the documents were taken, your lawyers and his slowly leaving the room, leaving you be. you should have let go, should have pushed him away as he no longer had any tie to you - you weren’t married, you weren’t together. alas, the thought felt sacrilegious.
instead, he knelt, knees hitting the hardened floor below you as your red eyes met his properly. entirely.
“i’ll fix this.” he promised you, voice no longer shaking, as you could hear the depth of his promise to you. “i don’t care how long it takes, baby, but you’ll come back to me. i’ll come back to you better, i’ll be worthy. i promise you, y/n.” he whispered.
another sob climbed up your throat, mean and harsh, as your body collapsed against the chair you were sat in, your emotion taking a complete hold over you.
because even then, after everything, you knew his words to be true. you knew home would be waiting.
—
eight months had passed now, and soon came the first touch of summer. the bleak sky had become brighter, clouds hibernating and birds chirping as the world became warmer, accommodating for the transition into what most would describe as a joyous time. unfortunately for you, your body was still recovering from what could only be described as the most traumatic stage of your life thus far.
everything felt unnatural and wrong - you were trying to keep up despite it moving a million miles around you.
even after all this time, your stomach still dropped whenever you’d see anything that referred to him as your ex husband, as though your mind and heart needed a moment to catch up. how could jungkook ever simply become an ex anything to you?
he had existed in your life for so long that removing him felt akin to ripping a vital organ out of your body, all whilst expected to function entirely normally. how could you? you suppose you were failing, really, with the way you moved through life out of necessity instead of want.
the tabloids loved him now more than ever. it was the paradox of tragedy, you assumed, as you knew how badly the world yearned for a broken hearted lover.
the youngest ceo in the country’s history, a billionaire bachelor - the elusive businessman was on the top of every social hierarchy, whilst people spoke about you in hushed whispers. the only woman to have ever gotten away. who were you? why did you leave? why did he leave you with so much?
he had become so much colder after the divorce, and people picked up on it like rats with forgotten food.
the media had always labelled him as an intimidating man, but now, there was no way of denying it. there was something unsettling about the pictures that were being papped of him, your hungry eyes taking him in top to bottom, nibbling your lip - he looked so different. broad shoulders remained the same, but he seemed bigger, no doubt taking out his pain in the gym. it was the look in his eyes, however, that had your stomach in knots.
he looked dead whilst alive.
jeon jungkook was heartbroken, and the world knew it clear as day.
he had dealt with it the only way he knew how - by burying himself six feet deep into his work, knowing he had nothing to come home to, often times sleeping in his office just so he could ignore the silence of his house.
meanwhile, you had spent the last eight months trying to learn how to exist without him.
the humiliation at first was all you were reminded of, as you realised how deeply you had intertwined into him and vice versa. the silence in your once shared penthouse was so unbearable that you had moved into a tiny two bedroom apartment, using the spare as a storage unit for all of your books. on your nightstand still sat a picture of you both, as you secretly cried over it most nights. you couldn’t even sleep unless you wore one of his hoodies, despite his scent having washed off months ago - it was the comfort of knowing you still had a part of your marriage with you.
you missed him in every small, stupid, awful way imaginable.
the feeling of his hand, heavy and strong, on your thigh as he drove you around. the way he would cage you into any surface he could find just to smother you in kisses, or even the way he would whisper into your ear stupid jokes that had you giggling too loudly for the world to hear.
you missed your husband. you missed jungkook.
everyday you battled with the regret of your choice, especially once you’d see the way his under-eyes had sunken with the lack of sleep and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to admit it out loud. you couldn’t live that way again, not with the neglect - not with your past trauma from your parents.
jungkook knew the gravity of his actions, knew you needed to heal and reason with them before he could come back to you but fuck, it hurt so bad to wait.
sometimes, during your weaker moments, you found yourself searching him into your phone in the dead of night, breathing out an audible sigh of relief at the confirmation he was still openly single. it was pathetic, that much you knew, but it was selfish beyond anything else. so cruel to want the man you left to be alone, simply because he still belonged to you.
you had attempted to rebuild your life slowly, carefully piecing together fragments of yourself that existed before all of this had happened. your days were quieter now, so much lonelier but it was enough to keep your mind from spiralling every second of every waking day.
some habits, however, refused to die.
his contact remained as the only favourited number in your phone, as you spent all of your time rereading old messages, despite it ending in tears. if only you knew he too did the same, with his photo album on his phone his most used app as he stared at you nightly, often falling asleep with your picture shining brightly on his screen.
you still loved him. he loved you even more.
that could never change.
-
the first flowers came on a random tuesday.
you had just experienced one of the worst days you’d had in a while, with a final meeting with one of your clients going to shit after you realised hours of work and designs had somehow corrupted, and then deleted. by the time you had returned home, you were sure the world had seen your teary state, your body heavier than usual.
as you searched your bag for your keys, your eyes peered up, noticing them.
your breath caught.
sitting neatly outside your apartment door. a bouquet, large but elegant - white gardenias. the flowers you had held at not only your wedding, but the ones jungkook would buy you for your anniversary each year.
your flowers.
your chest ached so violently you found yourself gasping for air as your legs gave out below you. you slid down the wall, fingers brushing against the delicate petals as you looked for a note, only to realise there wasn’t one. you didn’t need to see who they were from, only one person knew you well enough and your heart felt like it had been split into two as you took them in.
it wasn’t your anniversary, wasn’t any special kind of occasion, and yet here they were. bright, promising, sweet.
your vision blurred with heavy tears as the painful feeling in your body grew, throat tightening with emotion before reaching out and taking a hold of them, breathing the flowers in openly.
the scent alone was enough to destroy you.
he was everywhere, all of the time - even now. especially now.
the flowers had become a norm, a pattern that was only recognisable to you, and completely deniable to any other person looking in. you were smarter than you looked and you knew what was happening, and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to call it out.
your favourite restaurant somehow managing to accommodate you always despite the line or packed out reservations list, or the paparazzi that often bullied you for your attention outside of your home mysteriously disappearing. even your car, that you had dented slightly, appeared in perfect condition as you walked down to go to work one morning, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
your chest bloomed with realisation.
jungkook.
he never appeared himself, no. never. it was unsettling really, the reminder that he was powerful and could have things done with a flick of his wrist - he was sure to never make you privy to it, so you’d always feel like he was the same boy you had met all those years ago. now? he had every intention of showing you the empire he had built for you and you alone. he lingered around you and your life like a floating ghost, invisible but permanent. you truly couldn’t get rid of him even if you tried.
three weeks later is when you felt yourself reaching breaking point.
for the first time in months, you were finally leaving the house to actually do something for fun. your best friend, yejin, who’s husband yoongi was ironically jungkook’s best friend, had forced you to come out for a drink. nothing intense, merely a nice bar where the drinks were smooth and the company was good, with slow jazz playing in the back.
exhaustion was heavy in your bones but you listened, doing your best to make yourself look nice despite how dead you felt inside. a little skirt that felt too short and a top that perhaps plunged too low - yejin had deemed you utterly perfect.
sat at the bar, you sipped your drink, wincing lightly as she yapped away about something her coworker had said. you appreciated how she refused to bring jungkook up, knowing that she couldn’t breach the topic unless you were the one to bring it up yourself. you hated how badly you wanted to, how desperate you were to find out how he was doing.
she filled the air constantly, like she was terrified of what would happen if your mind caught up to the reality of the situation, instead filling it with nonsense to occupy your demanding thoughts.
you let her.
you even found yourself laughing, the feeling and sound so startling that it reduced you to silence for a full minute afterwards as you welcomed the feeling of actual joy for the first time in so long.
you almost didn’t notice the shift in your phone, the slight light radiating from beneath as you had turned it onto its screen earlier in the evening. she, however, paused mid sentence, eyes dropping down to let you know someone was ringing.
nothing could have prepared you for the sight of his name on the screen.
the name, ‘kookie’ with a large, red heart adorned your phone as humiliation rummaged through you at the realisation you had never even bothered to change his name, the concept too painful to come to terms with. however, yejin all but gasped as she turned to you, eyes widened with an almost excitement.
“answer it.” she encouraged, hand on your back. “i’ll watch your drink.”
you weren’t sure what to say, as you nodded, staring down at the screen before shakily sliding off of your seat and heading towards the back entrance, where a smokers area sat empty. your hands shook as you cupped the phone to your chest, taking a seat before looking down at it once more.
he was calling you.
jungkook was fucking calling you.
before you could overthink, you swiped, answering it.
the phone felt hot against your ear, a reminder of what was currently happening as your heart began beating harder than it had in months, your hands shaking. for a second, neither of you spoke.
you could hear faint movement on his end, a shuffling of some sorts before he completely stilled, as though he had pushed everything he was doing to a side at the realisation you had actually answered.
“hi.”
god. your eyes squeezed shut tight almost immediately.
there he was - your jungkook. not the ceo extraordinaire that was plastered on every publication you could find, with dead eyes and a sharp expression. no, this was him. jungkook. your jungkook.
the sound alone nearly brought you to tears. you felt so pathetic.
“hi.” you whispered back, voice cracking.
silence settled again, but not awkwardly. you didn’t think an awkward silence was capable of existing between you, not when your bodies were so intertwined and so aware of one another. the distance between you was unnatural, neither of your minds able to comprehend an eight month hiatus enough to understand that this phone call alone shouldn’t have been happening.
he exhaled slowly, and your shoulders gently relaxed, your eyes closing momentarily as you imagined him. no doubt still at work, in a suit unbuttoned at the shirt, his tie long forgotten. his tattooed hand running through his hair, ruffling it the way you always would.
“you answered.” he broke you out of your thoughts.
your chest tightened painfully at the sheer disbelief in his tone.
“you called.”
a faint huff of amusement left him then, causing you to blink back any emotion that was building in your eyes. it eased you.
“yeah.” he breathed out.
another pause.
you felt so suddenly aware of yourself - your hand reached out to smooth down your hair, adjust your top and skirt, despite knowing he couldn’t see you. it was subconscious, as though the thought of him alone was enough to undo you, but his voice? hearing it after so long, directed at you, for you. yours. it was enough to have you soothed for months.
before you could spiral in your thoughts, he spoke again.
“where are you?”
“out with yejin.”
“mm.” you shivered at his hum. you had no idea he was so undone at the sound of you too. “a bar?”
“yeah.”
“you drinking?”
you rolled your eyes, tongue poking your cheek at his curiosity. some things truly had never changed.
“why?” you asked, and you could almost hear his grin on the other end. “can’t i ask?”
his tone, smooth. familiar. fuck, it did things to you, and you could feel your thighs pressing together just listening to him. secretly, your favourite part of jungkook was how possessive he had always been, and even in moments like this where he hid it under a layer of calmness, you could recognise it instantly.
it reminded you of when he’d ask you whether you had eaten, just before pulling you into his lap, lips attacking the side of your neck hungrily or when he’d tell you to take your medicine, with a slow ‘baby’ and kisses planted to your forehead and cheeks.
“one drink.” you revealed, with a nibble to your lip.
you had no idea that he too was a fucking mess.
jungkook was indeed in his office, with his legs spread, suit jacket and tie somewhere, his shirt unbuttoned a little as he too drank. a cup of whiskey in his hand, his hair a mess as he scoured over your instagram for the millionth time just that day. neither of you were ones to post much, especially considering your accounts were private with only a few people, but he stalked you daily in hopes of a glimpse of you. could you blame him? he was utterly, devotedly in love with you.
a measly divorce couldn’t stop that.
seeing yejin’s story, with your low cut top, and your big eyes showing a sign of life for the first time in months made his heart bloom. it had his cock straining, again, just looking at you, eyes hungrily looking over every inch of you and your soft smile. god, how he had missed it.
he had given you your time. respected your wishes, allowed you eight months of this but enough was enough. the flowers were just the beginning, marking his space back in your life through a promise he had every intention of upholding. he had told you directly he was going to fix this, and you, his sweet, sweet girl had believed him.
he would never let you down again.
“you having fun?”
“why do you wanna know every single detail?” you asked, tone a little harsher than intended but you couldn’t help yourself. this was an ambush on your senses.
he huffed once more, the amusement enough to disarm you.
“because i miss you.”
the words left him so easily that the breath in your lungs completely dissipated, leaving you a statued mess. no hesitation, no shame - pure, devastating honesty.
“you can’t say that, jungkook.” you weakly combatted, the intake of breath on his side of the phone at the sound of his name leaving your mouth enough of an answer for you.
“why not? i can’t miss my wife?” he scoffed lightly at you.
you blubbered for a moment. “i-i am not..i’m not your wife!”
“okay.” he hummed once more.
there was a quiet clink on his end, no doubt picking his drink up and taking a big gulp after abandoning it the second you answered. neither of you spoke for a few more moments, silence now becoming a running theme between you on the call, and yet it was still void of the awkwardness you’d find anywhere else. it was awful how familiar it felt. how comfortable and safe.
your fingers played with the hem of your skirt nervously, unsure if you had been too brash - he was hurting too after all.
“is that top new?”
your breath caught.
“..what?”
jungkook stayed quiet for an extra beat. “your top. haven’t seen that one before.”
heat flooded your cheeks, chest and neck before you could even respond, your lips bitten down as you inhaled shakily.
“how do you know that?” you were ignoring the way your pulse was hammering against your body, trying to feign an air of nonchalance.
at that, he couldn’t help the small grin. “saw you on yejin’s story.” he murmured, quieter now. “look so good. love when you wear pink, baby.”
it wasn’t even the words he had chosen, but more so the way he was saying them. so calm, so certain, so casual as if he wasn’t calling his ex wife baby over a bit of cleavage that was never really meant for his eyes - your blush spreading all over you now.
“jungkook..” you breathed out, shakily.
“what?” he asked innocently, and you could really hear the smile in his voice now. “am i wrong?”
you looked down at your top, nibbling away at your lip to hide the small smile that was beginning to form on your own face, something that you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. your fingers brushed against your stomach, feeling the fabric before tucking a strand behind your hair.
“it’s new.” you admitted softly, heels shuffling slightly on the ground.
the sound he made in response was enough to ruin you. not a laugh, not quite a sigh - something pleased.
he hummed. “so pretty.”
your eyes squeezed shut, and jungkook could feel it. could see it as though you were right in front of him. you were never one to handle a compliment, always going pink and shyly looking away and god, he loved it so much. loved complimenting you in hopes that you would react just like that, just to see you get all flustered.
the feeling in your stomach..it felt so strange. the same one that had haunted you for the past eight months, an unbearable warmth that filled you from your toes to your head, something you craved so desperately from him and him alone. to be noticed, looked at, admired by jungkook was one thing but to be loved by him? it was joy in itself.
you could feel it.
no one had ever loved you quite like he had done, as though every single thing you were capable of was worthy of applause. it terrified you.
“you can’t do this.” your voice came out so much smaller than either of you had expected, changing the entire feel of the call instantly.
as a result, his own tone softened, as though he was dealing with something porcelain.
“do what, baby?”
your heart physically ached.
“talk to me..like nothing happened.”
you felt sick to your stomach, hands gripping your phone and stomach as your eyes shut tight. you wished you hadn’t of said anything, not with the way the silence kissed the air in a way that felt anything but familiar - it hurt. painful in every single way.
for the first time since answering the phone, you could see jungkook properly. could hear him breathing sharply as though your words were both a reminder and an understanding that no matter what, things could never go back to what they once were.
the slight twitch in his cheek, the way his fingers would naturally tighten whenever he was overwhelmed with emotion like he didn’t know where to put it, where to place it in his overworking mind. he had always loved so deeply, your jungkook; just didn’t know where to put it, or how to show it.
when he finally spoke again, his voice was quieter. stripped bare for you, so you could feel him.
“i know what i did.” he admitted softly. “i know i fucked up, and that i failed you as a husband.”
your throat tightened.
outside, rainwater still lingered from earlier, a sickly humidity wrapped into every air particle around you. the scent of lingering cigarette smoke was heavy enough to ground you in that moment as you listened to jungkook speak words neither of you could truly handle hearing, despite how necessary they were. it just hurt so, so badly.
inside the bar, you could hear muffled laughter, people egging one another on for drinks as jazz boomed, your heart easing as you could hear yejin’s voice amongst the crowd, no doubt the life of the party there too.
“then why are you acting like this?” you pathetically asked, lip jutting out in a teary pout. he could almost hear it on you. “you’re talking to me like we’re still together.”
“you’re still mine, y/n.”
your breath hitched violently.
“jungkook-“
“no,” he remained calm, a stark difference between you and him. “you asked me a question, baby, so let me answer it properly.”
the nickname rolled off of his lips so naturally, instinctively, and you hated how easily your body curled closer, almost desperate to hear it whilst he stood in front of you. you had always been putty in his hands, so easily undone with a few pretty words but you’d held back for the past few months for the sake of your boundaries. hearing him so open, so honest - it was fucking you up all over again.
“i know we’re divorced,” he continued before you could interrupt him again. “i know..you’re not my wife anymore, and i know this is my fault. you left because of me and i’ll live with that for the rest of my life.”
his voice cracked by the end of his statement.
“but i won’t sit here and pretend like the last eight months have suddenly erased the past fifteen years of loving you.”
the words shattered you. your delicate, pathetic heart broke once more at his words at the confirmation of what you needed to hear so, so badly.
years of abandonment issues stemming from your parents and friends who had only ever toyed with you meant you had put your all into jungkook, who had only ever put every inch of himself back in - you were a partnership, a welcome duo that made sense to the both of you. watching him pull back, forget you, neglect and abandon your relationship no matter the reason was enough to trigger you in ways that no one could reason with.
it was an intimate form of violence that though was never intended, hurt more than anything he could have ever done to you.
he knew that. he was openly telling you he recognised his faults, his wrong doings - you knew that too. god, you knew him better than anyone alive, and you knew that by leaving him it was the only way for him to understand and see.
“you’re making this so much harder, jungkook.” you whispered out through a flood of tears, your mascara and eyeliner smudging immediately under the slaughter of liquid.
“i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry baby but i need you to hear me, okay? just..i need you to know i’m going to fix this. properly.” he breathed out, desperate now. “i’ve been doing things right this time..gave you space, let you breathe, been working on myself and going to therapy. don’t sleep at the office anymore, did at the start cause i didn’t like coming home but i’m better now.”
therapy?
you knew he held so much trauma with his own parents, his own upbringing, too scared to ever even speak about it if it wasn’t with you but to hear he had actually taken the steps to go forwards with something that put him directly out of his comfort zone was insanity to you. especially when his one and only concern had only ever been your own comfort, even at his expense.
his honesty made you burst out into quiet sobs - a noise he swore was harsh enough to kill him. he breathed out, cooing at you lightly as he shook his head despite you unable to see him, so pained.
jungkook recognised your pain immediately.
“yeah,” he muttered. “turns out working yourself to death because you’re afraid of losing everything after you’ve had a shitty upbringing actually isn’t normal behaviour. who knew?”
despite your heartbroken state, you let out a sincere watery laugh.
the sound hit him like a drug.
he went completely silent after hearing it, replaying it in the forefront of his mind. a greedy, gluttonous side of him climbing out of his very throat as he held it close to his soul, cherishing it - he was a starved man finally being fed.
“there she is.” he breathed. “fuck..missed hearing your laugh.”
you hated how easily you were able to slip back into him.
“jungkook..”
“i mean it,” his tone deepened slightly - more certain, more intentional. “i’m not calling you tonight to confuse you, y/n. i’m not calling because i’m lonely..”
your fingers tightened around the phone once more. “then, why?”
“because i’m getting you back.”
there was no hesitation in his voice, no wariness nor anything other than sheer determination. he sounded firm and a part of that thrilled you, whilst the other half sat scared of what this meant - you couldn’t survive this again, losing him. what if you had changed? what if you weren’t who he thought you were anymore?
“hey, stop it.” he shook his head, eyebrows furrowing. “it’s just me, y/n. it’s just me and you, okay?”
“but what if we can’t do it?” you asked through a teary sob, scuffing your heels on the hard ground. “what if i’m different and what if it’s too hard? i can’t..i won’t survive it..”
silence once more.
“then, we do it slowly.” he whispered, assured, soothing you. no hesitation whatsoever. “i’m not asking you to trust me overnight, baby. i know i fucked that up already.”
your lip trembled, tears streaming so fast you could hardly keep up.
“but i’m here now.”
the words settled so deeply inside of you that it almost hurt. that was all you had wanted all along, was it not? a present husband, the same man that loved you without the frills of money and presents - you wanted jungkook. your jungkook.
you swallowed thickly, knowing it had taken so much of him to even say this to you, so confident as he knew you needed a rock at this moment despite also being emotionally devastated.
two whole minutes of silence stretched between you as you caught your breath, your tears still streaming but your sobs subsiding, allowing for sweet hiccups that he thought were the cutest thing he had ever heard. his mind swam, aching, knowing how needy you were after a cry. he wanted to bundle you up and hold you, kiss you until there were no more thoughts left in that pretty little head of yours, right until you were finally asleep and safe in his arms.
“are you still at work?” you asked softly, breaking the silence and pulling him out of his thoughts.
a small pause.
then, almost amused - “technically..”
“jungkook! it’s late..”
he laughed quietly under his breath, the sound warm enough to blanket you in it.
“finished hours ago, i’ve just been sat here.”
“doing what?”
another pause. slightly charged.
“looking at you.” he murmured.
heat rushed to your face immediately, wiping your under eyes. “what?”
“been stalking your instagram. yejin posted you like half an hour ago too, so..” his voice dropped lower, smoother. more intimate. “haven’t really thought about doing anything since.”
your thighs pushed together involuntarily at the confession, cheeks hinted even darker.
god.
“jungkook.” you chastised with a little sniffle.
“pink was a bad choice, baby.” he grunted slightly. “you know that colour drives me fucking insane on you.”
your eyes squeezed shut. there he was.
not the cold, mysterious ceo that had the world intrigued, nor the tall, hefty man that had most people cowering away as he walked past. no, this was your husband - flirty, affectionate and completely and utterly obsessed with you.
“you’re so ridiculous.” you shook your head through a hiccup, biting back the pathetic small smile that was about to form.
“yeah?” he hummed through a small laugh. “still answered the phone.”
the smile in his voice only had yours growing larger, a small laugh muffled by the back of your hand.
you could hear him moving around now, keys jingling lightly before the sound of a car door opening had your ears peaking up.
“wait,” your eyebrows raised. “are you leaving?”
“mhm.”
“where are you going?”
jungkook grinned. it was your turn to be curious.
“home.”
your smile dropped slightly. home.. that used to be a word that was synonymous with you. your chest ached all over again.
“couldn’t go back there without hearing your voice first.” he admitted quietly.
silence swallowed you whole. the vulnerability in his voice felt far more dangerous than any of the tears you had shed tonight, your fingers continuing to shake around the phone at the mere sound of it. before you could think of a response, he spoke again.
“there’s a gala next friday.”
your stomach tightened as you leaned your head against the wall, already understanding the direction of the conversation.
“jungkook..”
“come with me.”
no hesitation. no uncertainty.
firm, assured, confident. like there had never even been another concept, or thought in his brain - you were the first and only option.
“i don’t think that’s a good idea..”
“probably not.”
the honesty startled a laugh out of you - a real one. on the other side of the phone, jungkook sat in his car, eyes closed, breathing deeply at the sweet sound like he was memorising it. treasuring it so he could replay it over and over and over later when he laid in your once shared bed alone.
“fuck,” he breathed. “you have no idea how much i’ve missed that.”
your eyes burned once more.
“baby,” his tone gentled again, using the pet name you loved so much. “just one night. me and you.”
you wanted to scream, wanted to pull at your hair and jump all at the same time. of course you wanted to say yes, what more could you need? your ex husband so openly telling you he wanted to pursue you with every inch of his body, until he was nothing but yours to mould and shape.
“i’ll think about it.” you replied instead, nibbling away at your lip.
the grin in his voice was immediate.
“that’s my girl.”
—
you couldn’t breathe.
both physically and emotionally, you found difficulty in inhaling air as you looked at yourself in the mirror, yejin somewhere in the room finding accessories for you to wear all whilst you blinked rapidly.
the dress, although beautiful, felt too tight.
your hands shook on either side of you as she approached you, holding up a delicate diamond necklace you recognised as an anniversary gift jungkook had gotten you but never quite found the chance to wear. your eyes were unfocused as she clasped it onto your neck, watching the way it fell so softly against soft skin, as though it had been curated for you and you alone.
“you need to breathe, y/n.” she suddenly murmured behind you, resting her chin on your shoulder as you both stared at you in the mirror.
pale pink satin - not bright in anyway, but a sweet kiss of your favourite colour adorned your body in floor length, tight fitting dress. you were the embodiment of elegance as the fabric draped over your curves, all whilst cinching perfectly at your waist, allowing for a pretty silhouette. not only did you look the part for a charity gala, you had exceeded any expectation anyone would ever have for you thanks to your best friend’s styling.
“dress is tight.” you simply whispered back, hardly recognising yourself.
your makeup matched your dress. glowy and pink with soft blush dusted onto your cheeks, glossy lips puckered and sweet. your hair fell in waves and for the first time in a very long time, you felt utterly beautiful.
the problem, however, was in the circumstance itself.
you were about to see jungkook for the first time since you had officially walked away from your marriage and the thought had kept you up all week. you weren’t sure what you were thinking actually saying yes to his invitation, calling him to tell you would come only for him to audibly huff out of joy. he was like a child in a candy shop but you couldn’t help but wonder if he harboured the same anxiety.
it was heavy in your stomach as you stared at yourself. pink was your favourite colour, and he loved it on you. did you look pretty enough? all eyes would be on you both tonight, given the nature of your relationship and the almost celebrity like status that had been awarded to the two of you.
all in all, it was his face that had you nibbling your bottom lip in thought. there wasn’t a night where you left his name unsearched in your internet browser, desperate to see what he looked like in that current moment but seeing him in purpose was a whole different playing field.
you loved him in suits - a fitting joy that was awarded to you constantly given his occupation. the way his shoulders would fill out the material so nicely, the way his shirt would stretch over his chest and the way darker colours only brought out the darkness in his eyes - it was your personal kryptonite. you weren’t sure how you were supposed to think, behave even, once you caught got sight of him.
“hey, y/n, look at me.” yejin pulled you out of your thoughts, soft hands pulling at your jaw. “it’s just jungkook. you know him better than anyone, okay? you’re all good.”
you nodded, though you continued to blink at her rapidly. “s’just been so long and..i don’t know..i’m scared. is that weird?”
she offered a sad smile. “it’s been eight months of healing, babe. that love doesn’t just go away and from what you told me, this is a step in the right direction. just gotta let him in.”
before you could respond, the sound of the doorbell blared through the apartment, making you look up to where the door sat on the other side. if you thought your heart had been beating fast before, you were sure you were on the edge of passing out now as yejin mumbled a quick ‘that’ll be him’ beside you.
oh god. oh god. oh god.
the dress felt too tight around your ribs.
your hands smoothed down the satin again despite having done it what felt like a million times already, fingers tips trembling over expensive fabric as your breathing came out shallow. you hated this - hated the fear of it all when it was jungkook on the other side of the door. your jungkook.
eight months. eight whole months and your body still knew him better than your mind was ready to let on.
“y/n.” yejin practically cooed at you, assuring you with a hand on your back. “breathe.”
you nodded quickly, though it went in one ear and out the other.
the intercom buzzed again, impatient time.
ironically, it was this that had your shoulders slumping softly, your shortness of breath slowly soothing as you realised the familiarity of the situation. of course jungkook would buzz twice - it was a telltale sign of his own anxiety, something you could recognise from a mile away. knocking twice, calling your name twice, checking the front door before bed twice.
it was just jungkook.
“okay.” you whispered to yourself.
you turned, more determined now you knew he was in the same state as you, as your heels clicked on the floor of your much smaller apartment, the noise loud enough for him to hear from the outside. each step felt heavier the closer you got, but there sat an anticipation in you that had you almost desperate to see him.
your hand finally wrapped around the handle before you opened the door.
and there he was.
god.
for a moment, your brain completely malfunctioned.
jungkook stood in your hallway beneath the almost dingy apartment lighting, one hand wrapped around a large bouquet of flowers you recognised to be the ones he had been gifting you with continuously for the past few weeks, and every anniversary. white gardenias.
your eyes fell onto them immediately with a strangled gasp, all whilst taking him in, your heart beating out of your chest as you felt almost faint at the sight of him.
a black suit.
the material stretched perfectly across his too broad shoulders and narrow waist, expensive to the eye as you could tell it had been tailored to fit him exactly. the contrast between the white shirt underneath was utterly delicious, and memories of pulling open buttons under heated exchanges flooded your eyes.
his hair was styled almost messily which you immediately recognised as his hands having ran through them, no doubt due to his anxiety - you wanted to pull at his locks, wanted to feel them against your fingers.
it was his face, however, that hurt to look at.
he looked healthier than most of the pictures you had seen over the span of the past few months, with warm in his cheeks, a slight dazed look in his eyes. still tired, with purple underneath his eyes indicating his lack of sleep, still carrying traces of heartbreak you knew you had placed there.
god.
jungkook looked every bit of the man you were in love with.
and here he stood, staring at you like he had just seen heaven open up right in front of him.
neither of you could look away from one another, as his eyes dragged over you slowly, inch by inch. your hair, your neckline that dipped lower than he was used to seeing, your manicure, your beautiful face. jungkook couldn’t fathom that you had once belonged to him, the pain of the past eight months surfacing as it gripped him by the throat like a vice - he had lost you?
you watched his throat bob.
his eyes met yours, the first time in what felt like a lifetime, and neither of you really knew what to do. how was it that the man you had known most of your life, the one constant, felt like a stranger in that moment? it was like you were discovering him again, an opportunity to relearn him presented to you and you took it with both hands.
he let out a shaking breath, one that had your cheeks flushing as he extended his arm, presenting the large bouquet for you.
“you look beautiful.” he whispered, voice struggling almost as you continued to watch his adam’s apple almost entranced.
with a shy thank you, you held them close to your chest, breathing in the familiar scent that brought you so much comfort.
your chest had eased now you were finally looking at him, now that he was actually in your space - the worst was over. you almost felt ridiculous for being worried about seeing him when it was just jungkook. eight months couldn’t erase that familiarity.
the hallway suddenly felt too small. too warm, too intimate; you felt like you were being caved in by his mere presence and for a moment you wondered if you needed breath at all.
you simply stood there, clutching the flowers delicately to your chest as though they meant something so much more than what anyone else could assume all whilst jungkook looked at you like you were the first beautiful thing he had seen in months.
his eyes couldn’t leave your face.
it should have made you uncomfortable, the intensity of his stare, but your body reacted the way it had always done when you were near him. you were inching closer without even realising it, him doing the same until you were looking up, head angled and his downwards, head bent to admire you properly.
“hi.” you whispered again.
the size difference between you had never been more apparent until then, what with all of his strenuous visits to the gym these past few months. he had always towered over you, but it was different now - his already wide chest and broad shoulders engulfed you, his biceps on either side of him enough to have you wanting him in a way that certainly was not becoming of an ex wife.
it’s like he could read your thoughts, with the way he inched closer to you, until your bodies were openly brushing against each other faintly. material on material, fabric kissing fabric. you wished you could feel him on your skin.
the sound of your voice had lulled him gently as he dipped his head down lower so you could properly see him, despite your head back to look at him.
“hi, baby.”
your stomach flipped violently.
there it was again. baby. fuck.
as though the divorce papers were fickle, representing a momentary lapse of judgement instead of a ruling decision. like he still woke up beside you every morning and ruined your cheeks with kisses before falling in between your thighs.
the dazed look on your face didn’t go unnoticed.
before you could even respond, yejin appeared behind you with the biggest smile she could possibly muster.
“oh my god,” she squeaked dramatically. “you both look insane!”
jungkook blinked, momentarily pulled from the emotional spiral you were both taking part in as he straightened slightly, despite still being awfully close to you. your cheeks heated at the sound of her voice, jumping a little in shock, causing you to brush against him faintly.
“hi, yejin.”
“don’t hi yejin me.” she narrowed her eyes dangerously. “if she cries tonight, i’ll kill you.”
“yejin!” you flushed red.
jungkook, however, allowed for a soft smile, nodding once. “fair.”
the sheer sincerity of it made the room go quiet, your eyes meeting his once more. you knew though it was a passing comment, he truly meant it - he’d let her kill him if it meant you’d hurt less.
your chest tightened all over again.
yejin seemed to realise it too, her teasing expression softening at the both of you. idiots in love, both too cautious to know what the correct next step was - thank god she loved to meddle.
“okay! you’re both gonna be late so hurry up.” she hummed, turning you and looking over you for any last minute touch ups. “i’ll take these. i’ll show myself out.”
with a cheeky wink, she all but pushed you backwards towards jungkook where your back gently brushed against his front. she had taken the flowers, shoved your clutch in your hand and shut the door in your face, all after giving you a big grin.
he didn’t move from behind you, despite you turning to properly face him. the two of you stared at one another openly, eyebrows pulling together - you could see it happening in real time, the way his body curled at the mere feel of you. to be so close to you, touching you; it was out of a far away dream.
you felt it too - god, you could feel it in your veins. the horrifying wave of unashamed want that filtered through you so naturally, your body knew him. your body recognised your husband.
your man.
his restraint was palpable. you could see it in the way his fingers flexed on either side of him, almost twitching as muscle memory surfaced from deep inside of him. for years touching you had been second nature, with a hand on your waist, fingers lifting your chin, arms around your figure to hold you up for a kiss.
now he looked almost tortured as he realised he no longer knew what he was allowed to do.
the realisation alone softened you.
“we should go.” you whispered up at him gently, though your voice lacked any real conviction.
jungkook stared at you, offering a small nod almost obediently despite the stark hunger in his eyes.
“yeah.” he cleared his throat. “yeah, okay.”
he stepped back and first; the distance was felt immediately.
you suddenly missed the warmth that radiated off of him, fingers faintly tugging on his suit jacket so gently you weren’t even aware you were doing it. what the fuck was wrong with you? one touch and you were already spiralling into him again like the last eight months had never happened.
jungkook noticed. of course he did.
his chest visibly expanded from beneath the expensive material, eyes darkening so suddenly you felt heat up and down your spine. the way he looked at you had emotion swirling in your stomach, so hungry. so devoted.
you slowly released him, blinking rapidly as though you’d only just realised what you’d done.
“sorry.” you whispered instinctively.
jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed together in offence.
“don’t apologise for touching me.” his voice came out firmer than expected, low. far too intimate given the apartment hallway you were in.
the silence that followed felt thick enough to choke on, neither of you making an effort to move despite knowing you were bordering on being late. the tension was so unbearable now that you were both alone, freely staring at one another after so much time apart - no yejin to soften the edges. just fifteen years worth of tension, want and need all accumulated between you.
his eyes flickered downwards as he watched you sway slightly.
“your heels are insane.” he muttered softly.
you blinked. “hm?”
“you’re already wobbling.”
offended, your mouth gaped. “i am not wobbling!”
jungkook let out a small huff of amusement, loving how easy it was to rile you up. the sound completely disarmed you, seeing a glimpse of the same jungkook you had been with all of your life.
“you almost fell walking out of the door.” he teased, with a tilt to his head downwards at you.
“i did not!” you shook your head with a small swat to his chest. he only let out another laugh. “you literally grabbed onto me.”
“that..doesn’t count, okay?”
“mm.” amusement stretched over his face, as he led you to the staircase, cautious to be slow as he watched you continue to slightly wobble due to the uneven surface of the hallway. “sure.”
before you could even think of a rebuttal, you watched jungkook look down the multiple staircases with a slight frown before turning to you. he suddenly bent at the knees, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion for no longer than two seconds before one arm slid below your knees and the other around your back.
your gasp echoed.
“jungkook!”
he lifted you bridal style effortlessly, as though you weighed truly nothing to him.
your hands immediately flung to the back of his neck, arms wrapping around his shoulders in shock as your body felt more of him than it had done in what felt like eons. jungkook’s hands were so much bigger than yours, and you could feel him everywhere all at once, enough to have you dizzy with a sense of want.
“what are you doing?!” you whispered harshly, eyes blown wide as he sorted you on one single arm, checking his phone for the time with the other. it was beyond easy.
jungkook merely looked down at you calmly, entirely unbothered despite the way you could feel his pulse hammering below your fingertips.
“preventative measures. can’t have you slipping down the stairs.”
you stared at him in disbelief. “you can’t just pick me up!”
he scoffed a little, as though your words were going in one ear and out the other. your comfort came first, that much was ingrained in him and even you couldn’t stop him when it came to that.
he walked down the stairs as though it was the most natural thing in the world, one hand spread wide against your back, claiming whilst the other was hooked under your thighs, making sure you were as comfortable as possible against him. your dress was draped so beautifully over his arm that anyone who would have caught you in that moment would have remarked, ironically, how bridal you looked.
you couldn’t believe how safe he felt.
jungkook noticed the second you relaxed into him. properly.
“missed carrying you.” he admitted quietly as he descended another step.
your entire body burned. “jungkook.” you breathed weakly, though there was no real warning behind your tone.
“what?” he hummed innocently. “s’true.”
you remembered almost fondly - it was the one thing you probably missed more than anything else. he would carry you everywhere - from the bed to your bath, to the couch after you’d woken up, through grocery stores just to hear you squeak in embarrassment. one time he had held you for an hour straight, walking you home after a date just because your feet hurt.
and now, here you were again, tucked into his chest as though it was home. you supposed it was.
your heart ached so violently at the memory that looking up at him through your lashes had your brain whizzing too fast for you to keep up with.
“you’ve gotten so much bigger.” you whispered almost shyly before you could stop yourself, already tucked into him too comfortably.
big mistake.
his heart truly nearly fucking stopped. his head snapped down at you almost instantly, eyes darkening so visibly it had you avoiding any contact, instead focusing your gaze on his clothed pecs.
“yeah?” he asked slowly.
your cheeks were flushed dark, realising how that may have sounded.
“just..got broader.” you clarified through another whisper, wanting nothing more than to hide your face in his neck out of embarrassment.
“been working out a lot more.” he murmured down at you, ducking his head a little so that he could meet your eyes, a small smile forming.
you nibbled your lip with a little nod, fingers brushing against the ends of his hair.
jungkook knew you loved the size difference between you, but it truly didn’t compare to how fucked it made his mind go. it was the first thing he had noticed when you opened the door again - how despite your heels, you were still so much shorter. it drove him insane, especially now that he was bigger. feeling you curled into his chest like this, all safe and protected, it made him feel wanted. to have you notice it, address it even so shyly; fuck. it ruined him.
by the time he had reached the bottom floor, your cheeks were still heated, dreading the fact he would have to let you go when all you wanted was to curl into him even deeper. to think ten minutes ago you had so much anxiety when now, he was actively conversing with you all whilst carrying you, it felt euphoric.
the driver stood outside of the car, the same man who drove you both to events when you were still together. your eyes widened a little as you watched him open the back door for you both, all whilst you were still leisurely held in his arms.
your embarrassment returned instantly.
“put me down!” you hissed quietly.
jungkook looked at you, unaffected. “why?”
“because your driver is literally staring at us, jungkook!”
the poor man looked away with a growing smile. he had missed seeing his boss so carefree, knowing that he was only like this when the situation pertained to you.
he smirked faintly. “he’s driven us around for years, baby. pretty sure he’s seen us do a lot worse.”
your mouth fell open, swatting his chest. “jungkook!”
that finally earned you a proper smile, brief but enough to knock the very air out of your lungs, your too large eyes drinking it in almost desperately. he was so handsome it hurt, and it wasn’t until now you realised how much you had missed his smile.
carefully, he gently lowered you to the ground, making sure you were comfortable on your feet.
his hands lingered. neither of you moved.
your faces were suddenly so close once more as your hands had slid down from his neck, but remained in contact, fingers digging into his chest faintly to feel him. the city noise faded around you and into the background as he looked down at you with an emotion that could only be classed as longing.
“you good?” he asked softly.
you nodded too quickly. “mhm.”
liar.
his eyes dropped to your lips once more, eyeing the gloss almost hungrily - would it taste like the strawberry you always applied? sometimes, when he closed his eyes, he’d remember the flavour.
then, like he had to physically pull himself back, he stepped closer to the car and gestured to it slowly.
“after you.”
you slid into the backseat first, smoothening your dress as it rode up your body, all whilst your pulse hammered harshly.
the interior of the car was sleek, donned in a luxurious black leather whilst it remained dimly lit in the back, with enough enough space to stretch out your legs. the scent of jungkook’s cologne was addicting, and you immediately recognised it to be the one you had bought him on your last anniversary together, your heart fluttering at the thought.
once he climbed in beside you, you realised how intimate the space actually was.
jungkook sat close enough for his thigh to brush against yours, broad shoulders taking up far too much room whilst the driver shut the door quietly behind him.
neither of you acknowledged the contact. it somehow made it worse.
it wasn’t until the divider between the front and the back began slowly sliding upwards, offering a layer of privacy that your breath caught audibly.
jungkook noticed - of course he fucking noticed. he couldn’t stop staring at you, especially now that he had you trapped here, pushed against him like you belonged with a drive ahead of you. god, the things he wanted to do to you in this dress were sinful at best, but he had to practise restraint, no matter how much it took out of him.
he leaned back, one arm sliding over to the top of your seat, where although he wasn’t touching you, you slyly leaned in just to have more of his warmth. it felt so familiar, so nauseatingly natural that anything other would have felt wrong.
he watched as your thighs pressed together.
fuck.
“you nervous?” he asked in his low voice, jaw ticking.
your eyes slowly shifted, finally meeting his gaze. through a shaky laugh, one without humour, you nodded. “obviously.”
he softened at that, sharpness melting away to reveal the tenderness below.
“it’s just me, y/n.”
you felt so hyperaware of everything. the rain that tapped softly against the tinted windows, and the gentle purr of the car engine beneath you. the feel of jungkook’s thigh soothed you, whilst his heavy gaze unnerved you - a cocktail mix that felt so entirely him.
you could feel his eyes on you before you even looked up. once you did, your breath caught at the intensity of his stare - not polite. certainly not subtle. his gaze moved over you, up and down, like he couldn’t help himself, like he he’d been trying to hold back the second you opened up the door to your apartment.
“fuck.” he muttered under his breath.
your cheeks flushed pink, whispering his name.
you watched his eyes flush down your body, eyes stuck on your cleavage and the way the material clung to your hips. “look at you.”
you instinctively looked down, shy at the attention but you couldn’t help but crave it. you knew exactly how obsessive jungkook was when it came to you, knew how deeply infatuated he was with every inch of you but seeing it so closely after so long almost felt soothing. it was a reminder that though everything had changed, somethings stayed the same.
his hand moved before you could think too hard about it, cupping under your chin and tilting your face upwards.
“don’t hide from me.”
your stomach tightened, eyelids hooded.
this thumb brushed against your jaw once, so soft, so unbelieving that you were in his arms despite the fact you technically weren’t his anymore. not that he believed that.
“i can’t stop looking at you.” he admitted, tone rougher now. “been trying since you opened the door, but it’s impossible.”
your thighs pressed together immediately, his gaze dropping to the small action. the reaction was subtle, but there - he noticed everything when it came to you.
you suddenly felt so warm.
“you’re staring so hard.” you murmured nervously, fingers twisting together in your lap.
“because you’re driving me fucking crazy.”
the words came out so plainly your eyes widened.
jungkook exhaled sharply through his nose, head tipping backwards against his seat all whilst you watched with heavy breath. the far gone part of your mind wanted to track his neck, trace his adam’s apple with your fingers all so he could continue looking at you the way he had been.
he looked devastating like this - broad thighs spread in the backseat with your body pressed against him, his arm slung heavy on the head of your seat. the both of you were a mess for one another, sick in the head with infatuation.
you weren’t stupid. you knew your effect on him, perhaps not to the full extent, but enough to know that nearly a year’s distance between you was enough to drive a man like him insane. his hand dragged over his face with a quiet groan before adjusting himself slightly over his suit trousers.
your eyes flickered downwards before you could stop yourself.
jungkook smiled at the sound of your quiet giggle as you put a hand over your mouth to muffle it, looking up to meet his gaze after noticing he was half hard. all you had done was exist.
“yeah,” he murmured, the sound of your laugh blooming in his chest. “that’s your fault.”
you slapped his thigh gently, although you couldn’t hold back on the continuous giggles that were now leaving you as you felt lighter than you had in what felt like years. he too matched you, the intensity lightening up massively as he let out a quiet laugh despite himself.
“what’d you expect, hm?” he asked, voice soft. “i haven’t seen you in eight months, and now you’re sat next to me looking like this. wearing pink.”
his hand slowly slid over, brushing against your own, fingertips grazing your skin before he intertwined them, gently.
you let him.
the second you curled your hand into his yourself, his expression changed. up until now, it was him losing control, reigning himself in, biting himself down to make sure you were as comfortable as possible but fuck. you were the one touching him now, making sure he could see you intertwine your hands properly, squeezing his hand.
it felt like a confirmation that this was the beginning of a new chapter.
he wanted to scream, to yell on the top of his lungs at the thought of you openly showing him your willingness. his sweet, angel girl; he loved you more than words could describe and he wanted to spend the rest of his life showing you.
“missed this,” he admitted quietly, eyes on your much smaller hand holding his so intimately. “missed you touching me.”
your eyes burned suddenly.
jungkook noticed immediately with a frown, expression softening at the edges.
“hey, baby.” his thumb brushed yours. “don’t cry.”
“m’not crying.” you whispered, though your voice wobbled embarrassingly.
he held you close to him as you both remained quiet for the rest of the journey, though the silence felt welcomed after such a rush and mix of emotions. you had gone from anxiety, to confusion, to excitement, to warmth, to a painful reminder of what once was - it was enough to drive you insane. being around him hurt, but being near him was healing.
rain continued to pitter patter outside as your hands remained intertwined, his fingers gently brushing against yours as he sat there trying to fathom how this was real. you were letting him in, and he could see it, could see how much it was taking out of you and he’d be damned if he fucked it up again. to get a second chance was insanity alone, but to have it with you?
the car began slowing down.
through the tinted windows, you could see a flash of white, people trying to get a glimpse of the elusive ceo they were so obsessed with. you gulped as you watched other powerful business people walk in with their dates, models and celebrities lining up to have their picture taken.
you leaned into him almost immediately.
jungkook held onto you tightly, arm sliding over your waist and gently squeezing. “i’m here. stay by me.”
you nodded quickly, dazed. “okay.”
his eyes lingered on your face for a second too long before he muttered under his breath, almost like he couldn’t help himself. “you look so fucking pretty.”
your heart nearly stopped, meeting his gaze as your shoulders slumped, feeling calm through his sweet words.
the car door opened.
chaos.
jungkook stepped out first and the reaction was everything you had expected and somehow so much more. your eyes blinked as you watched the cameras explode violently, reporters shouting his name from all directions as they desperately tried to get a clear shot of him, knowing he could easily make front page news without having to try.
your heart stopped for a moment.
his back faced everyone else as he turned to you, taking a hold of your hands once more and gently helping you out of the car, smoothening your dress.
the second they saw you? everything multiplied by ten.
genuine screaming was heard from somewhere behind the barricades as you slowly stepped out, your own hand finding jungkook’s for a sense of comfort which he readily gave you, pulling you in a little closer than necessary. the noise was erupting, your vision blinded momentarily by the insane flashes, reports actually tripping over one another to take pictures of you in particular.
this wasn’t normal.
jeon jungkook never brought women anywhere. never entertained rumours, never dated publicly, never stood beside any other woman that hadn’t been you. even then, you had been painfully private, making sure to attend closed events with rare appearances, often opting to support in the shadows as opposed to centre stage as he was forced to.
but now? this was the loudest statement you could have possibly made and it slowly dawned on you both the nature of the decision.
you were telling the world you were ready to start again.
his entire demeanour had changed out here.
you were overwhelmed to say the least, but it was his arms around you that kept you grounded as you clung to him, your smaller frame tucked so delicately within his own that some found themselves putting their cameras down just so they could observe you both.
you were the epitome of love and neither of you even knew it.
ceo jungkook - all cold eyes, sharp jaw, that terrifying calmness. yet every few seconds he ducked his head down, whispering something in your ear that would have you smiling almost shyly back up at him, easing your mind away from the hundreds of people who wanted nothing more than to get a picture of you.
“jungkook over here!”
“is that your ex-wife?”
“are you two back together?!”
“y/n!”
you flinched slightly as the voices got louder the closer you walked down the carpet towards the venue, but it seemed jungkook’s presence only felt bigger.
“don’t look at them.” he whispered down into your ear, words tucked for you and you alone. “look at me.”
stupidly enough, you obeyed almost instantly. his eyes softened at the way you listened so sweetly.
“good girl.” he muttered absentmindedly before guiding you to the entrance and away from the prying eyes outside.
the words hit you far harder than they should have. good girl.
oh you were so fucked.
—
the venue was utterly breathtaking.
golden lighting spilled across towering ceilings whilst soft music played from a live orchestra at one side of the ballroom, so elegant you’re indeed whether you were even appropriately dressed. people stared at you openly, all whilst you and your flushed cheeks looked away, purposefully keeping your gaze vague and avoiding eye contact with most. glasses clinked together as powerful figures mingled amongst themselves, professional cameras still set up inside.
and yet, none of it compared to the way people reacted to jungkook.
conversations paused when he walked by, people straightening up. executives who had once terrified you now looked nervous approaching him and it reminded you exactly who he was outside of your relationship.
jeon jungkook was a terrifyingly cold, business man. he was untouchable and unfeeling, everything that made a powerful man powerful and then there was you. his one weakness.
his hand remained firm against the small of your back possessively, claiming you as his own in front of anyone who could see. you loved when he was like this, all brooding and dark as though anyone even had a chance to steal him from you - silly man. even now, with months of distance between you and a divorce, you were all his.
“breathe, baby.” he reminded with a quiet hum in your ear.
“i am breathing.” your cheeks warmed.
“barely.”
you shot him a look, though it was void of any real annoyance as he guided you further into the room. you couldn’t help but admire him openly, all whilst he scanned the room, not realising how deep you were falling into your own thoughts. he really had gotten so much bigger, with his chest so wide you couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like under your hands. his shoulders too.
you had spent the entire drive trying not to stare at him. you had failed. miserably.
“drink?”
he pulled you out of your thoughts with a little gasp, realising you had been openly checking him out much to his pleasure. you found yourself nodding, nibbling away at your lip. “yes please.”
the words came out too fast, awarding you with a small laugh as he turned towards the bar.
your eyes followed him automatically.
that was another problem entirely. you see, no matter where jungkook stood, attention naturally followed. men greeted him immediately, keen to get into his good books whilst women openly stared, hoping to garner his fancy and yet he was completely and entirely uninterested. his gaze flickered back to you every few moments, as though he still couldn’t believe you were right there, just for him. just because he had asked you to come.
your chest squeezed painfully at the thought.
he returned only a few moments later with two champagne glasses, handing you yours to which you took with a nervous smile.
“thank you.”
your fingers brushed his purposefully. small, barely noticeable.
oh, but how jungkook had noticed. he noticed everything when it came to you and judging from the way his throat bobbed, taking a large sip of his drink, you knew that your poor ex husband was certainly not able to handle your charm.
the champagne helped much quicker than you were expecting it to.
after the first glass, the tension in your shoulders completely eased but it was the second that had you transforming. your overthinking thoughts ceased to exist, as the warmth in your blood brought out a shade of pink in your face that jungkook couldn’t look away from. standing close to him suddenly felt less terrifying and so much more thrilling.
a dangerous combination - especially when jungkook was looking at you with so much hunger.
a buzz had settled deep into your bloodstream, your brain slightly away with the fairies as you continued to sip, looking up at him. your other hand darted out, fingers trailing over his stomach openly, over to where the buttons of his suit sat. what was an absentminded action to you, tipsy, was enough to have jungkook almost shaking.
you were braver when you had alcohol in you, that much had been true your entire relationship, but even this felt quite insane. he watched as your fingers trailed up and down, sliding up to where his chest was only to drop lower and lower. it wasn’t until your fingertips were brushing the top of his suit trousers that he grabbed your hand.
you pouted at him, head tilted. “why?”
your whine had his shoulders rolling.
“because,” he said slowly, voice rough beneath the sound of the orchestra. “you’re getting handsy.”
your lips patted in faux innocence. “am not.”
jungkook stared at you half in disbelief and other half amusement, still holding your hand that he now pressed to his chest firmly. your fingers had nearly slipped below his waistband, a thought that had him nearly taking you home then and there but he knew it was because the alcohol was making you brave - his tipsy girl. his palm engulfed yours, feeling your fingers wriggle underneath to continue your plans with a slight whine but he was both firm and possessive, not letting you go.
you pressed your thighs together again.
this was the champagne.
he knew it, knew it to be a dangerous mix - the alcohol and your naturally clingy personality once you got comfortable, all combined with the eight months apart meant you were now simply doing whatever your heart wanted with little care to your mind.
your cheeks warmed as you watched him stare down at you, gaze heavier than anything all evening. it seemed the longer you were both in each other’s presence, despite how long you’d spent apart, the more bold you were getting - but could you be blamed? he might have been your ex husband but he still belonged to you, and you knew you were still entirely his, a fucked up fact that meant you were both drawn to each other in ways that meant you could never move on.
multiple months of healing all gone to shit in a single night, with a few drinks. who were you both kidding - moving on wasn’t an option. even you could see that now.
your fingers flexed under his hold, people secretly watching you both interact with bated breath. they couldn’t believe this was the same jungkook they were afraid of, made to mush at the hands of the pretty woman in front of him. he was but a man afterall.
rather than pulling away, your fingers simply curled around the fabric of his suit jacket, fingers touching his shirt purposefully to elicit another reaction out of him. he had reduced you to putty in the drive over and perhaps it was the alcohol in your system, but you wanted him to feel the same.
jungkook was quiet. too quiet.
jaw slightly slack as he took you in, you touching him like his body belonged to you and you alone. he relished in the fact you knew it just as well as he did.
he had missed this so much. just the feel of you, no matter how innocent you pretended to be, skin on skin. it felt like a promise.
and now, you were standing here, head tilted to stare up at him properly whilst looking through pretty lashes that batted at him subconsciously.
it was driving him insane.
“you’re staring again.” you hummed at him. his eyebrows narrowed. “because you keep touching me.”
you tried to bite down the smile that began to form on your lips as your fingers continued to flex, soon finding his heartbeat to confirm your suspicious. oh, he was a mess underneath your hand.
“you don’t seem to mind.”
his jaw flexed. you heard him curse under his breath, calling you a fucking minx which only had you giggling just as quietly. it was a powerful thing to have a man as influential as jungkook so weak in the knees for you, and you couldn’t deny the affect it was having on your mind. he snaked a heavy arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him in a way that was absolutely not becoming of the environment you were in.
“keep this shit up and i’ll take you home.” he promised quietly, leaning down to whisper into your ear.
unfortunately for him, you had no intention of stopping. especially when you had just begun.
“promise?” you whispered back, eyes wide with a faux innocence you knew he wanted to ruin.
his jaw clenched again, blood half boiling at how cheeky you were being and cock hardening by how badly he wanted to ruin you. had this been any other circumstance, you’d already be in the bathroom with your dress to your chest, being pounded into by the only man who knew exactly how to ruin you until you were well bred.
but alas - this night was about proving himself to you, and no matter how hard you made him, he knew he had to do this right.
and so, instead, he pinched you at your waist slightly, pulling an airless squeak out of you before he brushed his lips against your ear.
“behave.”
the word should have been warning enough, but instead, warmth fluttered through you, rushing through your stomach so violently you pressed against him further. jungkook nearly hissed, watching how reactive you were for him, with your hooded eyes and slack jaw.
fuck.
his hands were all over you, with little care to who was watching and you knew tomorrow you’d be mortified when you remembered how brazen you had both been, but it was hard not to feel addicted when you were both feeling the same way. you giggled lightly, hiding your face in his chest momentarily before meeting his gaze.
“you’re very confident for someone i divorced.” you playfully hummed.
at that, he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face. “didn’t stop you from getting your pretty hands all over me.”
the alcohol was well into your system as you found yourself giggling once more, fully hiding yourself in his chest to which he wrapped his arms around you properly, the two of you whispering and laughing together as though it was the most natural thing in the world. jungkook’s colleagues, rivals and admirers all watched you both in genuine curiosity at the way you were so well suited. two people, quietly infatuated with one another - it was toothache inducing.
the conversation between you both remained playful, with his thumb tracing your bottom lip at one point muttering something about how badly he wanted to know how your lip gloss tasted. an hour in and you were both practically trying to one up each other with how far you could take it, leaving you both laughing whilst trying to stay quiet.
this is what you had missed. joy. comfort. being around him in a way that didn’t feel like you were fighting to prove something. it had been so long since you’d felt this carefree that you realised pretty quickly that you couldn’t let him ago again. it was a horrible thought at first, realising that the past few months may have been for naught but perhaps absence did make the heart fonder.
soon enough, you had been there close enough two hours and jungkook had done the rounds once you settled in, less tipsy but still buzzed. you met his new business partners, clients you hadn’t seen in a while, a mixture of familiar faces and people you had only ever heard about. neither of you commented on the fact he introduced you intimately, with a heavy arm around your waist.
it genuinely felt like no time had past with the way you both felt so comfortable, the dynamics between you natural considering he had been the one constant in your life for the past fifteen years. you sipped on your glass of water as you listened to his conversation half mindedly, watching him discuss a new company contract with one of his shareholders.
it wasn’t until you heard a voice echo throughout the ballroom announcing the beginning of the charity auction that the conversation came to an end. jungkook immediately took a hold of your hand, planting a cheeky kiss to your knuckles with a slight smirk, before leading you towards the front of the room where the different things on auction sat to be admired over.
“c’mon.”
you followed him easily, hands intertwined whilst you walked side by side, champagne now a dull buzz in your body. people moved around you respectfully, all whilst their eyes lingered on you much longer than needed. could you blame them? you were the infamous woman that had managed to lock down the one man that seemed disinterested in everything, so much so that you had him laughing and flushing pink every time you so much as looked at him. the divorced couple that looked anything but divorced.
oh, they were staring indeed, with hushed whispers and even quieter questions.
your attention drifted lazily over the displayed pieces, politely but nothing quite caught your interest, your eyebrows pulling up at some of the art pieces named. it wasn’t until you reached the very end that you found yourself stopped in your tracks.
jungkook noticed, he too coming to a stop to glance over at you only for his gaze to follow yours. he immediately understood.
beneath warm lighting sat a painting, inconspicuous to most considering it was much smaller than the grand pieces to the left, but it had your eyelashes fluttering
white gardenias.
your breath left you quietly.
it wasn’t just flowers - it was an oil painting, textured with strokes of green, ivory and creams whilst petals cascaded over one another so delicately your heart ached. the background dat moodier, darker compared to the softness of the flower leaving you in a state of utter awe for a few moments, all whilst holding the hand of your ex-husband who watched you with bated breath.
it was beautiful.
you stepped closer unconsciously, hardly aware of yourself.
jungkook didn’t think he’d ever seen you look at something with this much wonder, in all of the years he had known you. it did something to him, to watch you genuinely in awe at something he could so easily give you - it made him realise he needed provide it for you just to see that look again and again and again and again and again.
he felt this throat tighten, a harsh lump forming the longer he watched you admire it. the way your glossy lips parted, eyes widened and fingers tracing the air in front of it - donned in the same diamond necklace he had gotten you years prior. the same necklace he’d bought you after you murmured something about diamonds resembling stars late one night as you curled into him in your shared bed.
and here you were, wearing it, all whilst your hand curled inside his as though you had never been more at peace. that did something to him. something he couldn’t quite describe.
your fingers moved to brush over the small description plaque underneath, reading the inspiration for the piece with a small, choked huff - devotion. enduring, eternal love through trial and tribulation through each season of life.
your own throat tightened then. of course.
“gardenias are difficult flowers..they die so easily if you don’t take care of them.” you found yourself whispering; straightening your back and avoiding his gaze to bite back any tears that wanted to appear.
his chest tightened violently.
all he could think about was the little apartment you had both shared when you were younger, when he barely had any money to get you by each month. the one with the poor lighting and the janky sink - you used to sit by the window each morning whilst he got ready for work, whispering sweet things down at them because you believed it would help them grow.
he remembered every single detail.
“you kept yours alive for months.” he whispered back, the hand that was clasped in yours now intertwining your fingers, as though he could project his memories back to you.
you blinked back at him, eyes glassy, surprised slightly. you hadn’t expected him to remember something so small and insignificant.
how could jungkook could ever forget a single thing about you?
a small smile pulled at your lips. “i used to get upset whenever they’d lose petals.”
“you cried once.” he corrected.
you rolled your eyes. “shut up!”
he only shrugged, lips twitching. “had to console you all night.”
“i thought i killed it!”
his quiet laugh nearly knocked the air from your lungs, all whilst he pulled you back into him, breathing in the scent from your hair before taking you to your shared table, where the auction was about to begin. your fingers remained curled around his own, all whilst he helped you sit down, fixing your dress for you.
he physically couldn’t pull away from you, couldn’t stop touching you even as you began conversing to the woman beside you, who jungkook recognised as one of his shareholders. his thigh was pressed against yours, all whilst his hand sat heavy in your lap, both of your hands playing with his fingers absentmindedly.
the different items came on stage as you watched people bid, raising their panels whilst some shouted out their numbers for more exclusive pieces. you couldn’t help your giggles, leaning over to whisper in jungkook’s ear whenever you’d see more excited people, all for him to lean into you with an equal smile. the two of you were being silly, and it felt fun for once.
by the time the gardenia painting finally appeared, your posture straightened as you tapped on his hand with a wiggle of your eyebrows. jungkook watched you with a lazy grin, eyes flicking over your face.
cute.
the bidding started much lower than you expected, causing you to frown. “that’s it?”
he nearly laughed, seeing your passion for your flowers. “art’s subjective, baby.”
“yeah, well everyone is wrong..so.”
fuck. he loved you so much.
you watched as someone raised their paddle, and then another, and another. a bidding war began as your head bounced between people, watching in utter curiosity though a part of you wondered what it would be like to bid yourself. ironically for you, you were completely unaware of the man beside you staring at your profile like he wanted to devote the rest of his life to you.
“two million.”
your eyebrows raised.
“two and a half!” someone else shouted, causing you to play with his fingers a little faster almost out of excitement.
“hope someone who actually appreciates it gets it.” you leaned over to whisper into his ear, lips brushing against his cheek in the process.
his jaw ticked.
game on.
just as someone shouted out, claiming three million, jungkook ran a hand through his hair before raising his panel, dark eyes trained on the auctioneer.
“five million.”
your head snapped sideways so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash, all whilst jungkook sat completely calm, hand raised lazily as though this was easy. like he hadn’t just dropped five million as though it was nothing.
“jungkook!” you whispered, eyes wide. he merely hummed back at you, hand still intertwined with yours. “hm?”
“what are you doing?!”
“getting you your painting.”
you stared at him in disbelief.
across the room, multiple people were openly whispering now, glancing between you because everyone could recognise what was exactly happening. this wasn’t ego - this was love.
obsessive, and terrifying love.
another bidder raised their paddle almost nervously, calling out a measly “five and a half” after a moment of hesitation.
“seven million.”
an audible murmur fluttered through the room just as you grabbed onto his arm with a large gasp, eyes widening as though he was batshit insane. “jungkook, stop!”
he finally looked at you, small smile playing on his lips at the sight of you so shocked. it was so cute the way you were practically toppling over your seat, a reminder that despite being with him, you had never really dabbled in his wealth whatsoever despite it all belonging to you.
a large shout of ‘sold’ was heard by all, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from him. his eyes admired you, from your lips to your eyes, your shaking hands that were both clinging to his thigh, your cleavage that had dipped even further than earlier. fuck. you were the epitome of everything he had ever wanted.
“you wanted it.” he whispered to you, as though that was all he needed, as though it was enough of a reason to spend seven million in one night with a flick of his wrist.
your eyes near enough watered at his words, knowing that nothing had ever described jungkook better.
—
things between you and jungkook had settled into something dangerous.
not enough to call yourselves fixed, or enough to place a label onto whatever fragile thing had formed between you, but enough that your days seemed lighter. having him back in your life meant you were happy again, and actually excited - finally feeling whole in ways that no one else quite understood.
he called more often now.
what started off as phone calls sometimes briefly between meetings, something about using your voice to destress before important gatherings. they quickly turned to late night facetimes where both of you laid in bed, half naked, chatting until either of you would fall asleep. some nights they turned into something darker, dirtier, with a slip of your night dress to show him more all whilst he’d grunt and hiss at the sight, whispering all of the things he wanted to do to you.
it was beginning to feel domestic, familiar even. so terrifyingly easy.
you realised pretty quickly that somewhere along the way, between late night conversations and soft laughs exchanged, you had began falling deeply in love again.
hard.
he had been away on business ever since the gala a few weeks ago, with him currently stationed in hong kong over some important stakeholder meetings. you knew he was incredibly stressed over it, given the frequency of his calls - always at odd times during the day and night, sometimes with the intention of just looking at your face as though it was the only motivator he needed.
the time difference was more irritating than you had expected, and yet he still managed to find a way to accommodate to your schedule as opposed to his.
your favourite so far had been a simple picture of the skyline view from his hotel, taken at three am with a caption of ‘wish you were here.’
you hated how much those four words affected you.
pathetic, really. how even now, you’d kick your feet in excitement over any message sent from your ex husband.
it had become routine now, to expect messages from him with each waking moment, calls when the workload was heavier. perhaps that was exactly why the silence that afternoon felt so particularly loud.
you were curled into your couch, opting to work from home as you were in his jumper and a pair of flimsy shorts. you hummed quietly as you balanced your laptop on your thighs, all whilst a random entertainment news channel played in the back to offer some noise in your otherwise quiet apartment.
your ears perked up once you heard jungkook’s name somewhere in the background.
your attention barely lifted at first, no doubt another gossip sesh on how attractive he was which often made you giggle, but this felt different.
“ceo jeon jungkook spotted in hong kong alongside mystery woman-“
your stomach dropped.
the laptop slipped from your thighs and onto the couch cushion, all whilst your head snapped towards the television, reaching for the remote to turn it up. the image splashed across the screen, all whilst you sat there, smaller than anything, watching.
jungkook.
beside him, an undeniably beautiful woman.
she was tall, elegant, dressed sharply in a suit practically created for her whilst cameras flashed at them harshly, exiting a building together. the headline underneath made your chest cave in further.
‘global heartthrob ceo finally moving on after the divorce?’
you stared. and stared, and stared, and stared, and stared, and stared until your knees had slowly slid to the ground, your back touching the couch whilst the entertainment show droned on and on about the details of your relationship with jungkook, about how smitten you had both seen at the gala, how they were the first to break this exclusive news.
your brain knew better. you knew jungkook like the back of your hand and logically, you fucking knew better. jungkook was so many things, but he had always placed you and your emotions first, your priorities, your necessities, your life - your wants and needs transcended everything else. you had never asked for it to be this way, it was just the way he was.
even during your separation, he had never looked at a woman twice. you knew that.
but logic had never been able to defeat insecurity.
all you could think, all you could see, based off of a single image was how she fit beside him. how effortless it looked, how beautiful she was, how successful. so poised and polished - she was everything a woman who stood beside jungkook ought to have been and it was killing you in real time.
the worst thing of all was the realisation that he didn’t belong to you.
all of this emotion, this horrible feeling inside your chest and soul - you were the one to divorce him. you had been the one that demanded it end back then, no matter how much he had begged you to see reason, believing that it was the correct step forward for the both of you. he had every right to move onto someone else, had every right to actually step forward towards something new.
and yet the thought of him belonging to someone else felt the closest to grief you had ever felt in your life.
your phone rang violently loud beside you, droning out the words of the presenter and making you jump slightly.
jungkook.
your eyes burned instantly.
the phone continued to ring and ring across the sofa cushion as you stared at his contact picture, a photo taken on your anniversary a few years ago that you could never bring yourself to change. your chest rose unevenly as another harsh wave of emotion hit you.
you couldn’t do this.
not after you had spent the past few months trying not to think about him, only for him to come back into your life.
the call rang out.
then another came. and another. and another.
your phone was blowing up with a mixture of calls and messages, each vibration making your heart ache so much worse as the topic changed on the tv, talking about some other celebrity gossip all whilst you felt your entire life collapse before your very eyes.
with shaking hands and teary orbs, you turned your phone off.
you burst into tears.
the rest of the day was spent being utterly miserable. you had never felt so pathetic in all of your life, with pain running up and down your veins in a way that genuinely left you almost debilitated. the last time you were this heartbroken, you were a fresh divorcee.
the curtains remained shut despite the afternoon sun outside, your apartment dim besides the soft flicker of the television that continued playing mindlessly in the background. at some point, you had dragged yourself towards your bed with tears still streaming down your face, his oversized jumper now heavy on your frame.
you hated this version of yourself.
hated how deeply this had affected you despite knowing better. you knew him better than this, had enough trust in him and yet you couldn’t barter with what was directly in front of you - months after rebuilding a sense of confidence all for it to shatter over one measly, gossip channel.
you closed your eyes, images of the beautiful woman stood beside him flooding your mind causing you to open them up again with a quiet whimper. so composed and effortless. untouched by the devastation eating you alive.
by morning, your chest was in genuine pain.
you looked awful too.
your eyes were swollen, red with the continuous tears all night whilst your skin felt sunken and dull, the early morning sun hitting your skin from glimpses through your blinds. you forced yourself out of your bed and into your shower, trying to rid the plaguing thoughts out of your body. you failed, spending the majority of it quietly crying.
by the time you were in the living room again, your nose was just as pink as your eyes, hands shaky and body adorned in an old t-shirt you had secretly stolen from his wardrobe back when you were packing to leave. you curled weakly into the couch, blanket curled onto your legs as you begged your body to rid the horrible stomach ache that had now found home inside you.
your phone remained switched off, somewhere under the blanket, still left there from yesterday. you reached for the remote.
you just wanted mindless noise.
instead, the television flickered to life and you found your breath catching harshly for the umpteenth time within 24 hours.
breaking news banners on every channel you came across.
jeon jungkook.
a whimper pulled up out of your throat at the sight of his images everywhere, your fingers tightening around the blanket before you turned the volume up.
“the ceo has officially filed legal proceedings against multiple media outlets this morning following yesterday’s false dating allegations-“
your heartbeat began thundering. you sat up immediately.
another clip appeared instantly, reporters practically tripping over one another in front of jungkook’s main company building, cameras flashing in hopes of getting a picture of anyone who could answer for anything.
“the statement released by jeon jungkook’s legal team less than half an hour ago reads as follows-“
the screen shifted, and suddenly, there it was. cold white text against a black background that had your breathing stopping completely.
“the allegations regarding ceo jeon jungkook are entirely false. the individual photographed was present for a scheduled business meeting attended by multiple executives and investors. legal action will be taken against all parties responsible for the deliberate spread of false information and invasion of privacy.”
your throat tightened harshly.
your eyebrows furrowed as you watched the presenter stop, looking at the camera momentarily, before her voice completely softened.
“as for the final portion of the statement, many online are expressing surprise regarding the unusually personal nature of his response as he personally commented-“
more text appeared.
you scanned it once. twice.
over and over and over until a harsh sob was ripped from your lips.
“i have never entertained nor pursued any romantic involvement with anyone.
there has only ever been one woman.”
a broken sound tore from your throat as your hand flew to your mouth, fresh tears spilling from eyes so fast that you couldn’t see the tv. your heart felt like it had been picked up from the ground, cradled and cherished after being pierced over and over all night, attacked without any reprise.
you couldn’t believe what you were reading.
jungkook, your jungkook? so private and reserved, not willing to give one inch of himself to anyone other than you and yet here he was, making himself as clear as possible. he was telling everyone with ears that you were his but more importantly, he belonged to you and you alone.
he despised media attention, it truly was the one thing he hated more than anything and the both of you would often laugh at rumours and random things stated in the tabloids because they were all bullshit.
and yet he has made a statement publicly.
for you.
your chest cracked at the thought as you covered your face with both hands, sobbing harder and harder.
before you could wallow further, a loud banging erupted from the front door.
the sound tore so violently through the apartment, you jumped - startled on the couch whilst your heart leapt to your throat. the slight fear had your tears stopping immediately, allowing for enough of a shock to regulate your mind for a few moments.
another knock came before you could even process it. louder, and louder, and louder.
“baby!”
your breath hitched painfully.
jungkook?
his voice sounded wrecked. not the calm, controlled man the world knew, nor the eerie ceo who often stood emotionless in front of the cameras whilst deals worth billions sat heavy on his shoulders. this was your jungkook - the one who loved you much too hard, half unravelled whenever the conversation pertained to you.
“open the door.” he shouted again, along another collective banging. his voice cracked slightly. “please..”
you stared into space for just a moment, your mind unable to comprehend what was happening before your legs carried you to the door, through the hallway. you slipped on your blanket slightly, already shaking body weaker than usual given the past twenty four hours, all whilst hot, heavy tears burned in your eyes once more.
another knock.
“baby, c’mon..”
the second your shaking hands unlocked the door, it swung open hard enough to hit the wall behind it, as though jungkook couldn’t believe you had actually heard him.
he looked utterly destroyed.
he stood, still in a suit that now sat disheveled on his frame, black tie loosened around his throat, white shirt wrinkled as though he had been in it for hours. his usually pushed back hair was messy, pulled at and tugged through large hands any time he had realised the depths of emotion you were no doubt feeling looking at the news - if the shoe was on the other foot, and jungkook had seen news of you and another man; he would’ve happily burnt the world to a crisp.
the second he saw you, his entire face fell apart, anger long dissipating.
“fuck.” he whispered, heaving out a breath.
his oversized shirt sat on your body, engulfing your smaller frame, swallowing you whole in a way that had his breath taken away. it was your eyes that broke him, however, as they looked so swollen, no doubt from crying so hard, your cheeks still damp and lips still quivering enough that he watched you bite down on them.
you watched his throat bob harshly, watched his eyes flicker over yourself frantically like he was trying to assess how badly you had been hurting without him here to comfort you. the thought terrified him.
that was all it took for a sob to rip out of your chest so painfully your knees almost buckled. your hands flew up to your face.
immediately, his arms shot out, cradling you almost harshly to him with one large arm completely covering you whilst his large hand pressed against the back of your head, holding you close to him as though this was the only remedy for a situation like this. his sweet girl. his sweet, sweet girl.
“i called you for nineteen fucking hours.” he said, eyes darting down at you desperately.
you couldn’t stop crying. “i know.”
“your phone was off.” his voice broke slightly, as though the situation had hurt him beyond words. “that scared me, y/n.” he admitted, chest heaving a little.
your crying only worsened immediately because of course it scared him - jeon jungkook, a man who’s entire identity was you and you alone. the prospect of losing you for the second time would surely be enough to kill him, and yet answering his calls felt like the last thing you could bring yourself to do.
“i tried not to think like that,” you choked out through hiccups. “i know you wouldn’t, logically i know but just kept seeing the pictures of you beside her and..”
your chest was heaving.
“stop talking about her.”
the words came out sharp, almost harsh.
his hand slipped to cup your face, holding your jaw in place whilst his arm slipped down, cupping your body to him so you could rest, his own strength supporting you up. his eyes were wild.
“don’t,” he repeated quieter, chest rising and falling. “don’t..stand here and..fuck, don’t compare yourself to someone else for even a second over some shitty tabloid.”
you couldn’t stop crying. it was as though that was all you could do.
“jungkook..”
“no.” he cut in immediately, voice cracking at the edges. “you don’t get it.”
he stood before you, a cocktail mix of utter despair and devotion, all whilst anger and fear simmered on the surface, every emotion open on his face to the point he almost felt unrecognisable. you knew he loved you, could see it painted on his features for the world to see but you weren’t sure when his feelings for you had become his very destruction. it scared you.
his hand shook around your face.
“you think i flew half a day because of a fucking dating rumour?” his eyes glazed over. “i don’t give a fuck about the tabloids, baby, you know that. i was scared because i know what this would do to you. i know your brain.”
your breath hitched.
“i know you.” he repeated, hands continuing to shake against you. “know how your mind gets. i know you’d sit here and cry over this shit when you know i would never touch another woman.”
another harsh sob clawed up your throat, and jungkook heaved at the sight as though it was the worst sound he had ever heard.
“look at me.” he pleaded suddenly.
his hands dropping from your body as he suddenly dropped to his knees - a man of his stature rendered completely broken by the woman he loved. the amount of people who looked up to him, feared him; the amount of people he dictated on a daily basis and yet here he was, on his knees for you. only you.
“there has never been anyone else.” his voice cracked completely. “not before you, not after you. not after this, no matter what happens, you hear me? it’s you, and it’s always going to be just you.”
your own knees were begging to give out, as you leaned against him, only for him to rest his face against your stomach, breathing you in like a man desperate for your understanding. he wanted you to see, needed you to comprehend the situation at hand. there was no him without you, the concept didn’t exist.
“you’re the only woman i’ve ever loved and there is nothing after you, y/n, because you’re my wife. divorce or not, i don’t give a fuck, i belong to you forever whether you want me or not and i won’t..i can’t have you thinking otherwise.”
your entire body gave in at the admission as you collapsed into him with another heart breaking sob, jungkook holding you like a man terrified he had said too much and truly not enough. for the first time since the divorce, neither of you tried to pretend this wasn’t exactly what it was.
—
the rest of the evening softened after that.
somewhere between the tears and the endless kisses planted to your cheeks, nose, head, hands and stomach came an ease to the panic that had long settled into your bones for the past few months. he refused to let you go, grunting almost childishly whenever you’d move out of his arms to do anything until you found yourself snuggled back into his arms, as though the thought of distance after such a clear cut declaration of love physically pained him.
he looked exhausted now that the adrenaline of the situation had worn off, his under eyes sunken from the exhaustion that had now settled deep into his body. to think he had flown all the way across the world simply because of the thought of you crying all alone over a situation that was so completely false upset him - it made you want to sob all over again.
how could you have ever let him go? how could you proceed forward without him, without him so deeply intertwined in your life once more?
eventually you found an old pair of black shorts mixed in with your clothes from when you had packed your things all those months ago. jungkook had stared at them for a few moments after his shower, towel low on his hips as water droplets slipped down his chest. it had his heart pounding faster than anything yet.
“you kept these?” he murmured down at you, watching the way your eyes flickered up from his physique, small gasp leaving your lips at being caught. “oh! um..must’ve slipped them in by accident.”
he didn’t comment on the fact you were wearing his t-shirt either, despite it hardening his cock.
still, he pulled them on as you settled into bed, your hair still scented from your earlier shower too. you, in his too big top, whilst he grabbed you immediately, shirtless and hands still desperate to hold you in a way he had held back on for so long.
you hummed as your body pressed against his, his figure snaking around your body as a heavy arm curled under your ass as a means to prop you up higher in his arms, causing you to giggle into his neck. your arms wrapped around him too, humming a little under your breath as he breathed in your scent openly.
you both laid there in silence for a long while, breathing. healing.
the room was dark now, with the city lights from afar shining through the slips of your blinds, illuminating slivers of his bare chest beside where your hands sat. you could feel his heartbeat, the way it calmed your already heightened senses as though your body recognised it was finally home.
“missed this.” you whispered into his ear, only snuggling closer to him.
jungkook’s grip, once on your waist, slid down to your ass once more. this time, his palm sat on your ass cheek, fingers digging into your skin whilst breathing you in.
“don’t say shit like that to me when i’m hard.” he grunted, a small smile forming across your lips. you hadn’t even done anything, not that you needed to to get jungkook bothered.
when you pulled him from your neck, his eyes were already glazed over, both of you taking a second to simply stare at one another in the exact way you had wanted for so long. his mouth parted, as his hooded eyes took you in, holding you closer, tighter.
within seconds, his lips touched yours.
slowly, at first, as though he was trying to relearn you after years of you being his. he savoured every moment of your lips against his, especially once you started to kiss him back, both of you uncertain in the beginning but once your hands began to find home in his hair, it was then that jungkook’s touch began to grow in confidence.
he kissed like a man starved, one hand buried in your hair too whilst the other continued to grip your ass possessively, as though physically feeling you was enough to have his mind go into overdrive. every small sound you made went straight to his cock as he swallowed your little sighs and whimpers, only pushing him to kiss you deeper and deeper and deeper.
he was growing desperate, pushing you down against the bed, half hovering over you as he rested on one arm, hand cupping at your thighs, your stomach, your knee. anything he could get his hands on all whilst his tongue explored your mouth as though he had every right.
perhaps he did because despite everything, the divorce and distance, the heartbreak - he still reacted to you like you were the only thing capable of fucking him up.
his lips eventually drifted from your mouth, pressing against your chin, your jaw and finally your neck. oh, this sweet, pretty little neck, he had dreams of marking it up and down every other night and the fact he had you in his arms now, in a bed far too small for the things he so desperately wanted to do to you was everything and more.
jungkook moved, properly hovering over you now just as you moaned into his mouth, legs wrapping around his waist, pushing your top down your thighs and revealing your lace panties you had conveniently put on. just in case, of course.
he pulled away, a string of saliva connecting both of your mouths as you watched it break apart the further he pulled his head back. just staring at you hurt, with the way your cheeks had flushed and your hair was spread all across the pillow, and your thighs. fuck. the sight of what was between them had him openly groaning down at you.
“need you to tell me to stop baby, or i won’t be able to hold back.” he hissed down at you, feeling your legs tighten around him before he could finish his sentence.
your hands moved to the waistband of his shorts, eyes never leaving his as you tugged on it just slightly. jungkook, who’s two hands were on either side of your head, blinked down at you half in awe and other agony, the prospect of you teasing him in a moment like this his literal worst nightmare. you always knew how to make him impatient, said it was the best version of him.
he watched with bated breath as you grabbed one of his arms until his hand was in your own, slowly pushing it under your top to rest on your stomach. it felt heavy on your frame, large palm heating your already hot skin before you pulled him down, other arm wrapping around his neck.
“wanna feel you here, kookie.” you whispered into his ear.
jungkook nearly took you then and there.
his jaw flexed, a heavy leaving his lips as he chased your lips, planting another kiss. “yeah? want kookie deep inside?”
“mhm.” you hummed against him, placing your hand over his on your stomach.
“but haven’t taken me for so long, baby. might be too much.”
you closed your eyes at that - the way he cooed down at you despite telling you how easily he could ruin you, break you. it all felt like too much and yet the empty ache inside of you reminded you it wasn’t enough, causing you to merely nod.
“i don’t care. want it.”
the pout on your lips. fuck. jungkook thanked the gods he was a better man, more patient, especially knowing you were doing this on purpose.
“always used to struggle to take me, hm? fucked you open every night and you’d still cry.”
jungkook reached forward, lips on your neck once more but this time, his hips began chasing yours, grinding down almost harshly, causing you to feel every inch, every vein against the flimsy material you called panties. it was heavenly
your hands grabbed him by his biceps, smaller hands unable to wrap around the circumference of his skin. how could you forget your nights of passion? he would spend hours between your legs, so mean, orgasm after orgasm and he still wouldn’t feel satisfied, an insatiable man to his core. even on nights you’d argue, it would somehow end in you fucking which meant the last eight months had been utter hell.
your poor fingers couldn’t reach far enough and nothing brought you to an orgasm unless you thought of him, imagining it was own digits instead of your own.
silly you - if only you realised how similar you and jungkook were. he couldn’t get off unless he was on your instagram, staring at your pretty eyes and lips as he tugged on his cock with all of his energy, round after round after round only to be constantly dissatisfied. having you below him, so ready to be his again? it fucked with his head.
“you'll make it fit.” you whispered.
within mere moments, neither of you could wait. his shorts, alongside the large tshirt that originally belonged to him were on the floor, leaving you in your lacy panties alone. his boxers strained against his hardened length which oozed precum at the mere sight of you, hips bucking a little as you watched him groan out loud at the wet patch forming against the flimsy material.
“my pretty pussy.” he whispered, just as he parted your legs. his fingers pushed your panties to the side, almost hissing from how damp they were, knowing you must have been needy for a while. “missed her. you’ve been holding out on me, baby.”
your eyelashes fluttered up at him at the first touch of his fingers running up and down your slit. you let out an airy moan, barely audible, your body immediately easing back into the covers now that you could finally feel him on you.
he suckled on your neck whilst he circled your clit, knowing your body better than anyone. you were both so in tune with each other’s wants and needs that an eight month break between you both meant nothing when he bit against the sweet spot on your neck all whilst applying more pressure.
you squeaked, nails digging into his biceps at the harshness of his fingers.
“fuck, you’re so needy.” he grunted, pulling away from your neck after leaving a hefty purple bruise. “not been touching your pussy the way it needs.”
“doesn’t feel..” you moaned louder. “doesn’t feel good if you don’t do it.”
his eyes almost rolled back at that. “yeah? need kookie to be the one to touch you?”
“mhm.”
at that, he pulled his hand away only resulting in a loud whine from you. so cruel, to have been given a taste, only to have it pulled away from you.
your positions, however, suddenly changed as jungkook realised the space on the bed was much smaller compared to the bed you had once shared. he rested his back on your wooden bed frame before grabbing you properly, resting you in his lap against his too hard cock, spreading your legs wide.
your back was against his chest, all whilst he caged you in, his fingers returning to your cunt immediately.
this new position had you so much more exposed, as he pushed your thighs apart, index finger circling your hole before slowly pushing inside. your eyebrows furrowed, watching him with a shake to your breath as he took his time, knowing a single one of his was the equivalent of two or three of your own - a though that had him wanting to fuck into you already.
the loud moan that left your lips once he fully inserted it was enough to have him kissing at your temple, cooing.
“like that?”
“feels big.” you whispered back with a shake, feeling him pump in and out.
at that, jungkook thought he was ready to fucking cum. even your pussy was as sweet as you were - too big? one finger and you were already fucked out, but he knew he had to stretch you to accommodate him, a thought that brought a nasty little smirk on his face.
“gotta fuck you open, baby. always so tight.” he continued to coo at you, all as you looked up at him, his finger being joined with another.
soon enough, he was roughly fingering you, all whilst you both maintained eye contact, often breaking it just to share a kiss as though neither of you could get closer to the other. the feeling of him inside you, just like you had become used to for so many years after months apart was the definition of pleasure, your eyes hooded with each pump.
“feels s’good.” you slurred slightly, chest heaving.
he watched your breasts, your bed squeaking with each passing movement and he fucking loved it. loved having your eyes on him, loved having your tits bounced everytime he’d fuck you open a little harder, your sweet moans filling the space.
you could feel how hard he was, but everytime you tried to turn to pleasure him too, he’d merely hold you tighter, as though your orgasm was the only objective on his mind. he wanted to eat you out, fuck - the thought had him all but growling at you but he knew he’d never last, promising himself he’d save that for later tonight.
“wish you knew how many times i’ve dreamt about this.” he grunted down at you, as he watched your thighs try to close from the onslaught of pleasure, only for him to widen them immediately. “i’m constantly fisting my cock thinking about you. at work, at home, in the fucking car.”
“what do you think about?” you pressed desperately, needing to hear it.
jungkook bared his teeth at you slightly, all whilst his pace quickened. “think about breeding you, pumping you full of cum till you’re begging me to stop. every morning, every night until you’re pregnant with our baby. you’d like that, hm?”
you could have sobbed. like was an understatement, your legs widening with each passing word as you nodded almost desperately at him, looking up and above where his head tilted down to watch you.
your eyes then fluttered shut at the image of him touching himself, almost shuddering out of relief at the thought of him so infatuated that he had to cum just to get you off of his mind. especially at work - the whole reason of your divorce being his dedication to his occupation and now knowing you had your affect on him there too? it was euphoric.
“think about you all the time.” you whimpered back at him, pout so cute he wanted to scream. “tried..fuck..tried to touch myself after the gala..but wasn’t enough.”
he watched as you shook your head up at him, one of your hands on his wrist as the same hand pumped faster inside of you at the admission. he cursed under his breath, letting out a deep exhale.
“should’ve told me. fuck, y/n. would’ve ruined you then, baby, you know that right?” he nuzzled into your cheek. “would’ve let you use me as much as you want.”
it was your turn to whimper under your breath, as your eyes shut tight at the familiar feeling in your stomach starting to creep up. it was shocking, how slowly it managed to creep on you, and yet you could feel every inch of its intensity, the first in a long time where you know you’d feel satisfied.
jungkook could feel you clenching, your too tight hole sucking him in desperately as a bid to have him go meaner on you, to which he was more than happy to oblige with. he grabbed your chin with his other hand, forcing your head back so you’d open your eyes again. he wanted to watch.
“eyes on me, pretty girl.”
you weren’t sure if it was the sweet way he cooed at you, or the brutal pace he was now forcing you to take but your orgasm hit you like a freight train. you let out a loud squeak as electricity fluttered through from your head to your toes, your hips rising whilst he continued to finger you through your high, hissing at how sexy you looked maintaining eye contact.
his pace didn’t lessen, devoted to longing out every hit of pleasure for as long as possible, your legs shaking as you pawed at his wrist, but he refused to stop. your body began falling into overstimulation, whining loudly as your weakened hands grabbed onto his, feeling him finally slow whilst he remained two fingers deep, pushed inside of you all the way to his knuckles.
he curled them one last time, causing a shaky breath to leave you before slowly removing them inch by inch.
the emptiness inside of you was horrible, a reminder of what else you wanted and how badly. your big eyes met his, only to watch him take his fingers press them against your pouted lips until they parted, your tongue wrapping around. you tasted yourself, a sweet sigh leaving his lips at the sight of you sucking so eagerly, his cock jolting harshly in his boxers.
“still don’t think you can take me right now.” he whispered down at you, other hand moved so it was openly cupping your pussy as a whole, palm brushing against your hypersensitive clit.
you jolted which each passing touch, breathing shaky before you took his fingers out of your mouth, saliva coating them where your slick once was.
“don’t care, kookie. i want it anyway.” you grumbled slightly, and he swore he had never loved you more.
it was your turn to move as you pulled away from his grasp, giggling a little to yourself at the look on his face once you put space between you, only to turn around, so you were laying on your stomach. he remained in his position, legs on either side of you allowing you to press your hand against his massive bulge.
oh, how you’d missed his cock.
you were as impatient as ever as you pulled his boxers down enough so that his fat cock could finally spring free, watching the way it tilted upwards at first, but its weight forced it down lower and lower until it was resting almost gently on your face.
he wanted to take a picture. wanted to make it his screen saver, your contact picture in his phone - he wanted it in his fucking wallet. his girl, eyes all hooded after being bratty for his cock? you were a minx and you didn’t even know it.
“don’t have a condom.” he found himself whispering at you, just as you began to pump him.
you tilted your head at him, hand unable to wrap around his length as you slowly teased his slit, fingers brushing against it just to him shudder. you watched his face, watched his very composure crumble before your very eyes all whilst he muttered something about a condom? your mind was barely working, still sensitive from the way he had made you cum and the horniness still in your stomach.
“why would i want you to wear a condom?” you whispered up at him, as though it was a little secret between you.
you watched his eyes darken in real time, narrowing down at you as both of his large hands grabbed the back of your head. you giggled, resting your cheek on his thigh whilst you continued to pump his cock, focusing on the tip just the way he liked it. the heaviness in your hand was what you missed the most, causing you to leave a little kiss to it on the mushroom tip, your fluttering eyes only driving him more and more insane.
he wouldn’t last like this. not with you staring up at him like that.
and so, he pulled your hair. you whimpered, pussy clenching as he pulled you up by your locks, your large eyes completely taken over by how rough he was being with you, no doubt being fuelled by the heightened emotions of the past two days. this was your favourite jungkook, secretly of course.
within seconds, you were on your back once more, all whilst he grabbed your hips and yanked you close to him. he dropped down to give you a kiss on your lips, savouring the taste and feel of you before beginning to rub his cock up and down your tight hole.
“my girl.” he whispered against your mouth. “no going back after this.”
your eyes clenched shut at the feeling of him teasing you, pushing the tip against your hole only to pull back the second it began inserting, rubbing it up and down and over your clit once more. he was a tease through and through, but you were too needy to see reason.
“don’t wanna go back, want it all.” you simply whimpered back.
your words were enough to finally have him pushing inside of you.
first, the tip. your face contorted to the familiar feel of his cock slowly inserting inside of you, your breath catching slightly at the sheer size of him - you struggled to take him even when your sex life was incredibly active, so you knew now that you hadn’t been touched for eight months, this was going to be hard.
you watched his face harden, all whilst your eyes slipped downwards to see him pushing further in, inch by inch, until your fingernails were puncturing the skin of his outer arms. he watched your face instead, willing himself not to cum at the way your jaw grew slack, big eyes only widening further at the too large cock settling in inside of you.
it was too much, too big, too at once. you couldn’t think, could barely see and yet you couldn’t pull yourself away from watching him bottom out even if you wanted to, a slight bulge evident where he sat deep inside of you. his large hand took a hold of yours and kissed it before pressing it against the bulge, only to rest his own right on top. applying pressure, he hissed at the way you let out a loud whimper, your cute thighs trembling around him.
“feel that?” he whispered down at you, nuzzling your nose to force you to look at him. “thats where i fucking belong. this pussy stretches so good for me every time.”
your lip was already trembling, a sight that had his cock throbbing deep inside of you as you clenched down on him hard. his cry baby - he loved seeing you teary during sex.
you were still adjusting as he began to move, causing you to squeal, but jungkook couldn’t wait anymore, not when he’d been dealt with blue balls for close to a year. you were the only option, pledging to live a life of fucking celibacy if you’d have chosen to never let him inbetween your legs again though the thought killed him inside. live a life without a taste of your sweet pussy? he’d sooner die.
“jungkook!” you slapped the tops of his biceps, as he continued his thrusting inside of you, nipping at your jaw, feeling his smirk against your skin.
the feeling of him thrusting in and out of you was intense, something you had been craving for so long now and yet now it was happening, you wanted more, and more and more and more and more. he loved this shy game you’d always play, always pretending like you couldn’t take it despite the fact your legs were widening further and you were moaning like a bitch in heat - it turned him on beyond words to know underneath the sweet persona, you were the filthiest slut he had ever known.
his pace was deep, mean but slow and it wasn’t enough, purposefully done to tease you for as long as he could, to ensure you’d stay needy. it was clearly working with the way your moans, whines and gasps filled the air only to be followed with a long drawl of his name, face scrunched up so cute he wanted to fucking scream.
“c’mon, baby, you’re so good to me.” he cooed, continuing his slow thrusts. “just gotta ask if you want something.”
your eyes scrunched shut, whimpering at his words knowing he wanted you in ways that you had reminisced on for months, the feeling of him kissing the gummy part of your cunt something you had missed so much.
“want it properly, kookie.” you begged him, though you couldn’t meet his gaze, eyes flickering down to his neck as he continued his pace. “yeah? tell kookie how you want it.”
your fingers clung to his shoulders as he came down, arms now pressed on either side of your head as he nuzzled your nose with his own, actions too sweet given the sinful position he had you in.
your breathing was ragged, the feel of him inside you too much for your poor little mind to handle without breaking and yet it wasn’t nearly enough. you craved something harsher, meaner, more jungkook. neither of you had ever been ones for soft sex, always preferring it as needy as possible which only heightened considering the fact you were both so utterly obsessive when it came to the other.
you whined loudly as his actions came to a stop completely, now grinding against you whilst still being inside.
“just want you to fuck me properly.” you whimpered, lip quivering so much faster, hips lifting to meet his as a means to relieve yourself.
god. you were killing him.
“good girl.”
jungkook planted a single kiss to your lips, oddly sweet before pulling back, planting two more to your forehead and nose. you were ready to whine once more until you felt his hips pull back, only to thrust into you harshly.
you squealed as jungkook began his pace exactly how you craved it, exactly how you used to picture with your own fingers in your cunt, desperately trying and failing to replicate the feel. hard. fast. mean. rough.
your neighbours would no doubt complain tomorrow with the way your bed frame began pounding into the wall, his head pressed against yours as his thrusts began kissing your cervix. your legs shook around him, much to his enjoyment, all whilst he forced you to maintain eye contact, wanting so badly to see the affect he was having on you after he had been deprived of you for so long.
“fuck..there she is. that’s my girl.” he hissed down at you, not holding back, the sound of skin slapping against skin heavy in the room. “you don’t know how badly i missed you.”
“m-missed..ugh! missed you..too..” you managed to string together, salted tears now escaping your eyes as they streamed on either side of the pillow.
“pretty girl like you needs to be fucked mean. no good to be nice to you, huh?” he growled down at you, only causing your lip to quiver that much faster as you nodded. “can’t think unless it’s me bullying your pussy into an orgasm.”
your nods were paired with soft sobs as he pounded, ruining your soppy core just like you had wanted. you had dreamt of this, dreamt of him, genuinely believing you’d never reach this state of pleasure ever again in your life and yet here he was, coaxing it out of you to remind you that he’d never leave you again.
his thrusts were sloppier than usual, no doubt due to the extensive length between your last fuck but it only had you moaning and crying louder. the thought of the usually composed jeon jungkook a whining mess for you and you alone had you clamping down hard on his cock.
“can’t believe i let you leave me.” he grunted hard at the feel of you getting so tight, gritting his teeth as he pounded you further. “never again. you fucking hear me, y/n? you’re my wife forever.”
“promise?” you sobbed back, arms now wrapping around his neck as you tried to bring him impossibly closer, as though you could in any capacity.
he nipped at your bottom lip, moaning into your mouth at the way you all but begged him to make it a reality.
“gonna take you to the courthouse tomorrow, get you a nice dress and we do..fuck..we do this again, understand?” he closed his eyes the more you whined and whined. “gonna let me put that ring back on your fucking finger, baby?”
you nodded wildly, just as you felt your orgasm build up in your stomach again, whining loudly up at him in a way he recognised immediately. fuck, he had missed this so much - his angel girl, all needy, begging for it even though she could barely take it. he could feel his own coming on fast, causing him to pull his hand down and rub at your clit, hissing at the feeling of you clamping down on his cock harshly.
“c’mon baby. want you to cum on your husband’s cock, hm? gonna get you nice and round like you deserve.” his thrusts only got meaner. “move you back in. fuck this pussy every single day, just like you need.”
your high rushed through you at the exact point his did, your legs wrapping around his waist as a means to keep him inside. you could feel it all through your body, the way it seized up and bucked into him all whilst he continued his thrusts, fucking you through both of your orgasms.
your vision started growing dark, the intensity of it overwhelming as he rode out your highs whilst whispering soft i love you’s in your ear, cradling you to his chest, holding you closer than you’d ever felt him before.
everything after that completely blurred together.
you remembered jungkook taking care of you, tenderness laced into his very being as he held you like you were akin to a porcelain doll - sweet, so soft, so delicate. somewhere between the damp kisses pressed to your skin underneath the bubbling bath he had drawn for you both, to the continuous declarations of love muttered down at you; you realised that this was inevitable. he was inevitable.
there didn’t exist a reality where you both could live without one another - you knew that now.
even after the heartbreak, the divorce, the loneliness and the debilitating grief, you still found yourself exactly where you belonged. your cheek pressed against his chest, his heartbeat soothing you into a dreamlike state which paled in comparison to the reality that was now yours. his love had you wrapped so tightly you knew you’d never live without it again.
you were finally home.
—
this beast of a fic is finally done yay!!! i hope you guys love ex husband jungkook just as much as i do!
tried to make him less yandere in this one and more pathetic yearner lol but i may have slipped here and there 💔
i’d love to hear your thoughts on this - love hearing you guys after a fic drops so i’m excited to see what you all think!!!!
if you wanna help support me pay my disgusting, awful, horrific london rent, my kofi is linked <3
I know, I know, I know I took way too long to post this even though I said I’d upload it last night, but life happened (ahem, work) and I didn’t have the time. But now I’m finally super free and really excited to share the Jungkook fanfics that have stayed with me the most.
P.S. I read a lot of these stories a long time ago, but! I still love them just as much as the first time <3 Also, feel free to tell me in the asks or in the comments which member you’d like to see next (or if you’d prefer a specific trope!).
One-shots:
THE PROPOSAL by @hansolmates
-> Summary: Jeon’s the editor-in-chief for Big Hit Publishings, a closet romantic with a penchant for antagonizing his assistant on the reg. When his work visa is in the process of being renewed and he takes a trip to Norway, his eligibility to stay in America is on the line. However Jeon Jungkook doesn’t go without a fight, and in order to save his job he offers you a proposal you can’t refuse.
-> Review: Have you ever watched The Proposal and wished you could find a fanfic inspired by that movie? Well, you don’t have to keep searching anymore! This is THE The Proposal-inspired fanfic (and don’t lie, I know you thought about it too, we all did). As you can see from the summary, the roles are reversed here, and Jungkook is the boss this time (grrr). It’s obviously not a super faithful adaptation of the movie — it’s an adaptation, not a copy — but it’s incredibly fun, keeps all the elements that make that rom-com one of the greatest ever, and has a super satisfying ending <3
ROCK GOD by @venusjeon
-> Summary: You’ve got one year left to either finish your novitiate and become a nun like your parents always wanted, or leave the order and live a secular life like you’ve always wanted. but the fact that a sister’s flirty nephew is staying in the convent for the summer provides a perfect distraction to such headache.
-> Review: Do you know that empty feeling you get when you finish reading something too good and suddenly have no idea what to do with yourself afterward? So you just sit there staring at your phone screen, trying to process what the hell just happened? That’s exactly how this fic made me feel when I read it two years ago (uff, time really flies). I’m not gonna lie, my relationship with this version of Jungkook is… complicated, but! That doesn’t change the fact that I absolutely adored this fic from beginning to end, and I’d read it all over again just to experience that feeling one more time.
ACCIDENTAL ROOMMATES by @jjkeverlast
-> Summary: Moving apartments is stressful and difficult enough as it is. all the planning and packing and multiple moments of rearranging furniture; all you crave is peace. yet it seemed like peace was far within reach as the owner of the apartment had left out one tiny crucial detail from the ad — a ripped tattooed adonis, coupled, with a tiny baby daughter will come as your roommate.
-> Review: I have to confess that dilf aus are way too powerful for me, so finding this fic, with a tattooed Jungkook, father of an adorable baby girl, who also happens to be oc’s neighbor? It genuinely felt like striking gold. I really loved the relationship between these two, and obviously the baby as well. Also, the little touch Nam brings to this fic is chef’s kiss. It was brief, but perfect, and it gave me one of my favorite scenes.
Series:
HOT BOT by @httpjeon
-> Summary: Purchasing a Hot Bot wasn’t exactly something you ever really planned on. when you do, however, it sends your life down a path of convoluted government schemes and dark secrets.
-> Review: Okay, so, this series actually includes several members, but I only read Jungkook’s part (it had my favorite plot, and I am weak). It’s only four parts long, and all four of them are wonderful. Android aus are genuinely fascinating to me. I’ve read a few over the years I’ve spent here, and I still remember this one fondly because not only was it the first one I ever found, but I also feel like it does an amazing job showing the android’s evolution and, at the same time, the consequences that can happen if their system gets reset or damaged (I still get anxious thinking about that chapter). Seriously, I’m begging you guys to give this series a chance, it’s really, really good.
FLESH AND BLOOD by @kinktae
-> Summary: You are living in a society that is just now picking up the scraps that the Great Outbreak left behind after the government killed off the majority of the zombies. Still, some remain, and fear still lies within society’s walls. So imagine your surprise when the very thing you’ve been taught to fear ends up saving your life, showing you that maybe two beating hearts aren’t always required when it comes to love.
-> Review: Guys. Guys, this one? This one is PURE GOLD AHHH. So, I’m actually a huge fan of monster romance (sue me!), which means that when I look for apocalypse aus, I’m not looking for survivors, I’m looking for zombies, because why not? And somehow, in the middle of my nearly impossible search, I found this absolute gem right here. Three parts. A Jungkook who slowly starts learning how to be human again. And smut (because I know you all love that ;)). This is one of the very few stories on here that I recommended to friends outside of Tumblr because that’s how much I loved it. It’s the kind of story that leaves this warm feeling in your chest and makes you want to come back and read it all over again someday.
SHATTER WITH ME by @colormepurplex2
-> Summary: Your best friend, Jiyoon, and her husband, Jungkook, have faced years of hardship trying to start a family. In a last-ditch effort to have their dream life, they seek solace in surrogacy. Wanting to see your best friend smile, you offer to become the bright beacon at the end of the tunnel, giving them what they have always wanted. But what happens when you begin to shine your light on their darkness? Things aren’t always as they seem—happiness can be a façade, shattering under the lightest pressure.
-> Review: The amount of anxiety this story gave me is honestly not normal. I still remember how uncomfortable I felt every single time Jiyoon showed up or whenever there was a tense moment between Jungkook and OC because, duh, he was a married man. Anyway, I’m completely in love with this story and its characters. I love stories that make me anxious, that make me unable to stop reading, that force me to keep going until I finish the first part because UGHHH I LOVE when authors make me absolutely devour their stories by sheer force of how good they are. And this is definitely one of those stories. You’re going to eat this up in one sitting, trust me.
-> Review: Just like with Hot Bot, this series has side stories for other members too, but Jungkook’s is the main one (also the longest lol) and OH. MY. GOD. AHHHH. I love it, I adore it, it’s one of the very few series where smut is kind of the “main theme” (in the loosest way possible) that I genuinely really enjoy. The whole concept surrounding this universe is fascinating to me. Like, the Club LaRouge?? Absolute genius. The author is a genius, seriously. And the side stories are incredible too (you have no idea how excited I got when I saw they uploaded Jimin’s). You need to read this one, no excuses. Pure art.
THE WIFE TRAP by @wintrbears
-> Summary: There are two boys but only one girl, leaving Jungkook hopelessly in love with someone he can never have, and doesn’t want to have, because that would mean taking you away from the person he loves most. Then suddenly there’s only one boy and one girl, but it’s the wrong one.
-> Review: This space was way too small for me to give you my full review, so here’s the link to the reblog where I talk in depth about this incredible ongoing story.
⤷ meeting jungkook at yoongi’s birthday was unexpected, but in less than twenty-four hours, he made you feel more alive than you have in years. letting him into your life felt just natural, but that doesn’t mean it’s simple. as you slowly get to know him, you find yourself trusting him more… but should you really? or is he hiding something from you?
— pairing: jungkook x fem. reader
— genre: strangers to lovers, ceo au, biker au, slow burn, angst, fluff, and smut
— rating: 18+
— words: 24,418
— warnings: alcohol consumption, kind of tipsy, jungkook can’t keep his eyes off our girl, mention of divorce, nervousness, mention of grief, mention of heartbreak, mention of breakup, mention of loneliness, some awkwardness, swearing, teasing, mention of crying, a kind of little argument, they’re both stubborn, kind of self sabotage, mention of masturbation, mention of death, lots of kissing, fingering, protected sex, penetrative sex, good old missionary, and multiple orgasms
— author’s note: soooo, this fic’s idea popped up really randomly and i simply started writing it 😊 this fic is honestly pure softness, but also messy at the same time. the point here is to depict someone who struggles with love after spending sooo long by herself, and she falls for someone who lets her guide the pace… biker jungkook had to be part of this, of course! this fic isn’t made to be perfect, it’s actually the opposite. honestly, i hope you all find a jungkook like this one in your lives 💖 wanted to aslo tell you that this fic will be fully written from oc's perspective, and there aren't any glimpses of jungkook's thoughts. also, special shoutout to @kooppss for her support!! she got to see this fic being written and how it changed 😅 hope you’ll enjoy it my loves 💖
SERIES MASTERLIST | PART II
The night is slowly settling, the sky taking on shades of red as the blue gets darker. For a brief moment, your eyes look up, a smile stretching on your face. The sky is beautiful tonight.
Right now, you’re waiting for your best friend outside the restaurant, as you agreed with her some hours ago. While you do so, a handsome man catches your attention. His eyes meet yours for a hot second before he steps inside the restaurant.
“Yn,” someone screams.
A bright smile grows on your face as you look to your right. Hyunri, your best friend, has finally arrived.
“Hyunri,” you say before holding her in your arms.
Tonight, you’re gathering to celebrate Yoongi’s birthday. Juhee, his wife and your best friend, has pulled out this little dinner to celebrate his 40th birthday. Anyone else would have probably asked for a big celebration, but it’s not his style. He prefers intimate dinners filled with loved ones.
“Did you wait long?” she asks when you break apart.
“No,” you reply. “Maybe a minute.”
She smiles at you. It’s been a while since you last saw her, which only heightened how much you missed her. She studied with you before you worked in the same company for a while, and last year she quit. Since then, you haven’t been seeing each other that much even though you speak every day.
Before she even gets the chance to do or say anything else, you grab her hand to take a proper look at her wedding ring. Her boyfriend proposed two days ago in the most romantic and beautiful way.
“Let me see the beauty,” you tell her.
Your eyes sparkle with joy. Hyunri deserves all the happiness in the world. She’s kind of crazy, but for sure, a woman with a big heart. No matter what, you can count on her. She’d even commit a crime for you if you ever asked.
“Woow,” you say. “It’s even prettier than in the pictures.”
“I know, right?” she asks while moving her hand to make the diamond sparkle.
“Must have cost a lot,” you say.
“But I deserve expensive shit,” she says.
You chuckle, but she’s right. She does deserve that.
“Right,” you shake your head while smiling even more.
Nothing has been decided just yet, but they’re planning on getting married next summer. They have more than a year to get everything settled. Honestly, you can’t wait for their big day. You know it’ll be mindblowing and extravagant like she is.
“Now, let’s get inside before Juhee kills us,” you tell her.
She giggles as the two of you head inside. The restaurant seems absolutely fancy—the type of place where the meal's presentation looks better than a painting. But it’s a once-in-a-while experience.
“Hello,” the host greets you once inside.
“Hello, we’re here for Min Yoongi’s birthday,” Hyunri says.
Your best friend is the social butterfly. The two of you are total opposites, like the moon and the sun. Nonetheless, you’re quite the duo. A lot of times, you wonder how on earth the two of you get along, but then you realize how much you complete each other, and your friendship just makes sense.
“Yes,” he offers you a bright smile. “Follow me.”
The man guides you to the huge terrace in the back, which basically looks like a garden. There is a rather long table placed on one side, and you recognize Juhee and Yoongi at the center. A bright smile grows on your face when you see them. Both you and Hyunri head to them, not paying any attention to the other people around the table.
“Happy birthday, Yoongi,” you and Hyunri tell him as you step up to him.
He stands up immediately, pulling you both into a warm hug before stepping back with an easy smile and thanking you for the warm wishes.
It’s genuinely great to see him again. He’s always been kind, and you’re glad you met him through Juhee. They definitely make a great couple; they just fit perfectly together. Sometimes, if you’re honest, you feel a tiny flicker of envy.
“Thanks, girls,” he says with a bright smile, gesturing toward the table. “Sit wherever you want.”
For the first time, you take a proper look at the table. Your eyes move across the guests, scanning the empty seats. Then, to your surprise, you see the handsome guy from outside. Now that he’s closer to you, he seems even prettier. Is it even possible?
You’re not sure if it’s destiny or a pure coincidence, but the only two remaining seats are the ones in front of him.
She just sits down while talking to Yoongi, completely unbothered, which leaves you right across from the handsome guy. You pull your chair back, placing your bag down by your feet before finally looking up.
He’s already watching you.
For a brief second, you meet his eyes without flinching. There’s a flicker of recognition there, and then, slowly, the corner of his mouth lifts. His gaze is intense on you, and it’s honestly hard to simply look back at him.
You glance around the table, trying to avoid his gaze and looking for the bottle of wine. You’ll definitely need it to survive the night if you’re going to have the handsome stranger in front of you.
When you find it, you just pick it up and fill your glass. While Hyunri is still deep in conversation with Yoongi, you fill her glass as well. It’s no secret that she adores wine. She could drown in it if she could.
“Thanks,” she murmurs when she notices it.
“No problem,” you reply.
You don’t look back right away. You let the conversation around you settle, letting yourself blend into the rhythm of the table. You need some time and courage to interact with people. It usually drains your soul, so you definitely need some time before engaging with people around you.
When you lift your gaze again, he’s still looking at you. This time, you don’t look away as quickly. You bring the glass of wine to your lips, never looking away, and this moment is long enough to notice the way his gaze doesn’t waver, and how he doesn’t seems worried about being caught. It’s like he’s even happy that you noticed it.
Then, he looks away first. You blink and let out a quiet breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.
Conversation starts to settle around you—people picking up threads, asking questions, passing drinks down the table. The man next to you, Hoseok, starts to talk to you as well. He’s an absolute ray of sunshine, always throwing jokes.
But no matter what, your attention keeps slipping back to the hot stranger. It’s like your body knows you’re being watched and you need to catch it. It’s never obvious, but it’s frequent enough that you start noticing a pattern. A glance when you laugh. Another one when you speak.
“Okay,” Hyunri murmurs after a while, leaning just enough for her shoulder to brush yours.
“What?” you ask with evident curiosity, your gaze looking at the plate in front of you.
“The guy in front of you,” she continues, “he keeps looking at you.”
You let out a small and dismissive huff. “No, he doesn’t.”
“Oh, he does,” she replies.
You shake your head, reaching for your glass. The fact that she noticed how frequently he looks at you makes you feel a bit uncomfortable and shy.
“You’re imagining things,” you dismiss her once again before taking a sip of wine.
The second you glance up again, there he is, looking at you. You don’t drop your gaze immediately. You hold it for a beat before finally looking away.
Her lips stretch into a smile, but you shake your head. The smug smile on her face almost makes you laugh. Any chance she gets, she tries to patch you up with someone. If she could, she’d make you date the entire world. You know it comes from a good place, but you’re just so introverted.
“Shut up,” you say, nudging her lightly under the table.
She instantly giggles, definitely enjoying herself.
“And he’s definitely hot,” she adds.
“Hyunri,” you warn her. “Don’t.”
“I’m just saying,” she replies. “He’s into you, and you should try talking to him.”
You look away, avoiding both her and his gazes. This is so strange, and it doesn’t really make you comfortable. Of course, it feels good to have a man looking at you so intently, but you’re not used to it. It hasn’t happened a lot in the past four years.
“Please,” she literally begs.
You take a deep breath before saying, “Okay, I’ll try.”
She smiles widely with happiness, and it warms your heart. You know you’ll have to interact with him at least once; otherwise, she’ll end up annoying you for the rest of your life.
The evening stretches on, the energy softening as food and drinks are being served and conversations split into smaller groups. At some point, Hoseok turns toward you with an easy smile.
“How do you know Yoongi?” he asks.
You turn slightly toward him. “Through his wife, Juhee. We were coworkers.”
“Oh really?”
You nod. “She had started dating him when I joined the company, so I got the whole Juhee-Yoongi package straight away.”
He chuckles while shaking his head.
“Yeah, they’re quite the couple.”
“And you?”
He starts explaining how he met Yoongi years ago, together with a certain Jungkook. They were neighbors when they were younger. Their moms were close friends, and the three of them always hung out together. They still do it today. You carefully listen to him, not bothering to ask who the third guy is.
For a moment, you even forget the man in front of you. You’re so deep in the conversation with Hoseok, and you're more than glad to learn a bit more about Yoongi. You’ve only known him as an adult, and it seems so weird to discover who he was as a kid and teenager.
Hoseok then starts to explain how he ever found out about Juhee. His story is very similar to what she told you, but you’re hearing Yoongi's side, which is more than interesting. They were roommates, he was in a relationship, and she was in love with him.
“Even if he didn’t want to admit it, Yoongi was so into Juhee.”
The voice comes from across the table, cutting gently into the conversation. You look up. It’s him. He’s leaning forward just slightly now, his attention fully directed at you.
“Yeah,” Hoseok adds. “He was always talking about her when he was still dating this Jennifer.”
Juhee always makes fun of Yoongi for having dated this Swedish girl for a while. She likes to say that he wanted to try something exotic just to poke him, and he really goes with it. He’s totally in love with his wife, which you find absolutely adorable.
“And how did he react when she confessed to him?” you ask with curiosity.
Your best friend told you that after two years of being roommates, she finally confessed to him, but he totally dismissed her as he was still with this Jennifer.
“Oh man,” Hoseok laughs.
A hint of amusement flashes in the eyes of the guy in front of you. “He panicked.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Really?”
“He came to my place, totally freacking out because he didn’t know what to do. He clearly wasn’t in love with Jennifer, but knew how down bad he was for Juhee.”
“Jungkook told him to break up with Jennifer,” Hoseok begins.
“But he clearly didn’t listen to me,” the man in front of you finishes.
So, he’s the famous Jungkook, which makes sense. He wouldn’t have randomly jumped into your conversation.
“Seems like he eventually did,” you add.
Jungkook sincerely smiles before saying, “Because I kept repeating it every day.”
You chuckle, your gaze deep into his. Hoseok glances between the two of you, smiling slightly as if he’s picked up on something.
“I’m glad he listened to you,” you reply. “I wouldn’t have met him if he didn’t.”
Everything would have been so different, but you know that eventually, Yoongi and Juhee would have found their way to each other. They were roommates and madly in love.
There’s a brief pause, but it’s not awkward at all.
You’re both looking at each other, as if the world around had completely vanished. Hoseok then continues talking, but you don’t really listen anymore, too captivated by Jungkook. Eventually, you glance away, focusing on the conversation about how everything started between your best friend and her husband.
Jungkook ends up asking if you were at their wedding, which you weren’t. Your sister was getting married a day before in Italy, and you couldn’t make it to Juhee and Yoongi’s marriage. It saddened you back then, but it’s fine. They never resented you for that, and they showed you all the wedding’s pictures, which made it feel like you were there with them.
As the night keeps going, you talk with everyone around you and keep drinking wine. At some point, you can clearly feel the effect of the alcohol in your system, but you don’t really care. You’re not driving tonight. However, you’re clearly conscious that you need to slow down. Otherwise, you’ll get wasted before the end of the party.
The huge cake with the candles arrives, and you celebrate Yoongi’s birthday. He seems genuinely happy, and it fills your heart that he wanted you to be present at this special day for him. For a brief moment, your eyes meet Jungkook’s, and an odd warmth spreads throughout your body.
Right after eating the cake, Hyunri has to leave and makes you promise that you’ll let her know once you’re home. You’re left alone, but honestly, it doesn’t worry or scare you at all. Hoseok has proven himself to be a great company, together with Jungkook. The three of you talked a lot, and you have to admit that they’re funny.
Jungkook’s constant gaze on you makes you feel more and more desirable, and you wish the night would never stop.
By the time the night starts winding down, the terrace feels different. People are slowly leaving in small groups, chair scraping softly, and goodbyes stretching longer than they need to. When almost everybody has left the restaurant, you decide to do the same. It’s already late, and you should probably go back home.
You say your goodbyes to Yoongi and Juhee, thanking them again for the invitation. She tells you that you should definitely organize something sometime. Outside work, you haven’t seen each other in a while, and you also miss their daughter, Bora, whom you consider your niece. You absolutely need to organize something.
Somehow, without really planning it, you end up outside with Jungkook.
The night air is cooler now, brushing against you as you see everybody splitting and leaving. For a second, it’s just the two of you standing there. He glances at you, hands slipping casually into his jacket, but you don’t dare to look back at him; your gaze is on the building standing in front of you.
“How are you getting home?”
The question catches you a bit off guard, making you finally look at him. With his jacket on, he looks even more like sin. This man looks way too good.
“By taxi,” you say. “Or I’ll check if there’s still any bus running.”
He nods once, like he expected that answer, and you decide to pull your phone out of your handbag. Then, after a brief pause, he tilts his head slightly.
“I can drop you off, if you want,” he proposes, his eyes still glued on you.
It takes you a couple of seconds to process what he just said. Your eyes meet his once more while you lock your phone.
“You have a car?” you ask.
He shakes his head before he gestures behind him. You follow his gaze, and under the streetlight, a bike is parked. It’s honestly a very beautiful one, but you haven’t really seen many bikes in your life. They never really caught your attention whenever you’d see one.
“Oh.”
You look back at him, your gaze taking in the man standing next to you. Jungkook being a biker totally makes sense, and it definitely matches his aura. In fact, the opposite would have surprised you.
You should probably say no—that would be the most reasonable thing to do. This man is a total stranger to you, and on top of that, you’ve never been on a bike. It clearly sounds dangerous. And also, being on a bike clearly doesn’t sound like the best option, as you’re clearly under the influence of alcohol. You could throw up at any given moment.
But instead, you hear yourself ask, “You always offer rides to people you just met?”
His lips stretch in a smile, his little dimples appearing on his cute face.
“Only the ones I end up talking to at Yoongi’s birthday,” he simply says.
Before you can overthink it, you simply nod.
The two of you walk to the bike in pure silence, but his heavy presence next to you doesn’t go unnoticed. It feels strangely intimate to be alone with him after the way he looked at you all night.
Once you’re standing next to it, Jungkook takes two helmets out from what look like cases attached to the engine. He hands you one that you take with a certain hesitation, his fingers brushing yours for the briefest second.
“Ever been on one?” he asks. You shake your head, and it’s answer enough for him. He rests his helmet on the bike before taking yours from your hands. “Let me help you out then,” he says.
With the gentlest movements, he pushes your hair back, the touch of his fingers on you sending shivers down your spine. He’s so gentle with you right now. Once he’s happy with the result, he places the helmet over your head and pushes it down. By reflex, your hands catch the bottom.
A proud smile grows on his face, and his eyes glow with something you can’t quite name. It’s like he’s proud to see you wearing a helmet. After that, your little handbag is put in his backpack as it clearly doesn’t sound logical to keep it in hand while he drives through the city. The only request he has as for you to carry it and he reassures you that he isn’t heavy.
When he hands it to you, your fingers brush his, and he even helps you to adjust it on your back. For a second, your eyes get lost in the sight in front of you. The big ass man is helping you out with such a simple thing. He’s definitely a very thoughtful person.
Then, in a couple of seconds, his helmet is on his head. After that, he asks you to put your address on his phone. The thought of him knowing where you live thrills you somehow. The hot guy from Yoongi’s party will know your address.
“Alright,” he says. “Just hold onto me, and lean with me when we turn, okay?”
After spending the entire night sharing looks, you’ll be very close to him, like body to body. Never in your life have you ever been that close with a stranger. It’s kind of scary and exciting at the same time, but you can’t back up now. You already agreed to this.
You nod like that’s completely normal, but it’s not. He climbs first and holds out his hand to you. With a bit of hesitation, you take his hand and climb behind him. It’s a little awkward at first, and you adjust your position until you feel somewhat stable. The seat is narrower than you expected.
Jungkook never once looks away from you, making sure that you’re all set and ready. He’s so close to you, and your heart is beating way too fast with nervousness. Being in a bike with a random guy makes you a bit nervous. If anything bad happens, you could get very badly injured.
“Don’t worry, okay?” he asks you.
Somehow, you trust him enough to believe you’re safe with him. If your parents ever found out that you’ve been on a bike, they’ll kill you. They are very old-fashioned and convinced that every biker dies on the road, which you don’t believe.
For a second, you hesitate, hands hovering uncertainly, and then, you place them on him. You’re absolutely unsure of where you’re allowed to place them, so they rest against his sides. Maybe this is the right way to hold onto a biker. You don’t know.
“You can hold tighter,” he says over his shoulder.
There’s something about the way he says it that makes your hesitation fade just a little. And so you do as he says. Your arms slide around him, your hands settling against his torso, and you feel immediately the solid warmth of him under your palms. His body is definitely toned.
Your breath catches. This man seems like a surprise box, and it feels like they keep coming. You’re unsure of what could happen next, but you wouldn’t mind finding out more about him.
“Ready?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
Your heart thuds in your chest, ready to leave at any moment. As if he’s feeling it, he grabs one of your fingers and gently taps it against his torso.
“If there’s anything, you can tap like this against me, okay?” he tells you.
“Okay.”
“I’ll be careful,” he adds.
You simply nod, even though you know he’s not going to see it. The engine starts beneath you, and you feel it everywhere—through the seat, through your legs, through the way your body is now pressed against his. And then, you’re moving. At first, it’s slow and careful as the bike eases into the street. You look around, taking in the houses and the people walking around.
But as soon as he picks up speed, everything changes.
The wind hits you, rushing past your body and pulling at your clothes. Instinctively, you tighten your hold on him, your body reacting before your mind can catch up. And instead of pulling away—like you would have done under any other circumstances—you lean in closer.
Your chest is now fully pressed against his back, your arms fully wrapped around him, and your eyes are closed as if you’re too scared. You can feel the steady rhythm of his breathing, the subtle shifts of his body as he moves, while he guides the bike with an ease that makes you trust him without thinking about it.
When you wrap yourself tighter around him, his hand brushes against yours in a comforting way. He’s trying somehow to reassure you, and it’s definitely working because you’re slowly opening your eyes again. From this perspective, the city looks different. Everything moves faster, and the lights feel brighter around you.
And as it appears in movies, being on a bike makes you feel more alive. It’s an indescribable feeling, but a welcome one.
Every time he turns, your body follows his naturally. Your body mirrors everything he does, which is normal with the way you’re clinging to him. You try not to hold onto him too tight, too scared to hurt him, while he guides you both through the city.
Honestly, you could get used to this.
Between the rush of the wind, the warmth of his body, and the quiet thrill sitting low in your chest, you realize you’re smiling.
At some point, the streets start to look familiar as you recognize the corner near your place, the small café that’s always closed too early, and the building across from yours. You almost wish you weren’t reaching your place.
The bike slows down, gradually at first, then more noticeably. The rush of wind softens into something gentler, and the city comes back into focus around you.
Then, he stops right in front of your building.
For a second, neither of you moves. The engine is still running beneath you, vibrating softly like the night hasn’t fully settled yet. Your arms are still around him, and your body is still close to his. Slowly, you become aware of it, and heat rushes through your body.
You loosen your grip, your hands lingering just a fraction longer than necessary before you pull them back. Jungkook doesn’t move, letting you do as you wish. You climb off the bike, your feet finding the ground as the world feels slightly steadier.
Jungkook cuts the engine, and silence falls into place.
You take off the helmet, running a hand through your hair, trying to fix it in a way that probably doesn’t make much difference. Your heart is still beating a little faster than usual, and your body is still holding onto the echo of the ride. It’s like you can still feel your body moving.
“Thanks,” you say, as you block the helmet under your arm. “That was really nice.”
Jungkook lifts the visor of his helmet to look at you. He doesn’t seem like himself when only his eyes are visible. It makes him look innocent, which you truly believe he isn’t.
“I’m glad you agreed to this,” he replies.
You nod, a small smile forming. “Yeah, me too.”
You’re standing close. Closer than you would be with someone you just met, but you’re close enough to notice the details again. His expression shifts slightly when he looks at you, his gaze not rushing away. This right here—his intense gaze on you, and him on a bike with a helmet on—makes your mind race crazily.
You never knew you were into bikers…
You glance toward your building to escape him and calm down your thoughts before looking back at him. Neither of you moves to leave.
“So…” you start, then stop. “I guess it’s time to go home.”
“Yeah,” he says, but he doesn’t sound like he’s in a hurry to go.
A silence stretches between you, but it’s not awkward. It’s like something is waiting to happen, but neither of you is quite ready to be the first to move.
Your fingers wrap tighter around the helmet, your heart beating way too fast in your chest. Jungkook shifts his weight just slightly, his gaze flicking briefly to your lips before returning to your eyes. It’s subtle, but not enough to notice. Your breath catches just for a second, and the air suddenly feels thicker.
You know that if you close the gap between you, you’ll let him do whatever he wants with you, which isn’t a great idea. You’re tipsy, and he’s a total stranger—who knows what he might do if you let him. So, before you start doing something stupid and silly, you take the backpack out to retrieve your own bag.
“This is yours,” you tell him.
Jungkook nods, grabbing the bag and putting it on his back.
“Can I have your phone?” he asks, which makes you frown.
Even though his question confuses you, you still hand it out to him. He types something, and seconds later, his phone starts ringing.
“Now you have my number if you ever want to get a ride again,” he says.
“Thanks,” you say as you get your phone back.
Without truly realizing it, you’re now very close to each other, and his eyes never look away from you. It’s still unsettling, but god, if you could, you’d let him do it for the rest of your life. You love the way he looks at you, even if it is too intense sometimes.
“Goodnight,” he says softly.
“Goodnight,” you repeat.
Neither of you moves right away, and you don’t want this night to finish just yet. It’s for sure one you’ll never forget. This simple ride was enough to make the night memorable, but Yoongi’s birthday party was just as amazing. This was definitely a good evening.
“I’ll see you around?” he asks.
It’s not quite a question, you know it. You smile, still feeling the echo of everything—the ride, the closeness.
“Yeah,” you say. “You will.”
He nods and then starts the bike again, the sound breaking the quiet, and within seconds, he’s pulling away and disappearing down the street. You stay there for a moment longer than you need to, replaying tonight’s events as if you need time to process everything that happened before getting inside.
Your mind can’t help but think about the way he looked at you, the way you held onto him, and the way the ride felt. You exhale softly, a small and involuntary smile appearing on your face.
As the cold air raises goosebumps all over your body, you decide to get inside. It’s time to go to bed, and you know already that tomorrow you’ll be completely dead. When you get older, it becomes harder to deal with the aftermath of a late night filled with alcohol. Thankfully, tomorrow is Sunday, which means a lot of rest.
When the door closes behind you, the silence that follows feels louder than it should. For a moment, you just stand there in the hallway, keys still in your hand. There’s a lingering warmth in your chest that doesn’t quite fade.
When you’re about to unlock your phone, you notice that his helmet is still in your hands. “Shit,” you whisper to yourself. You stare at it for a second, confused at first, but then it clicks. You never gave it back, too absorbed by his beauty.
You set it down on the kitchen counter and sit on a chair, running a hand through your hair as the whole ride replays itself again—his voice, the steady way he drove, and the way he said ‘goodnight’ like it wasn’t quite final.
You quickly send a message to Hyunri, letting her know you safely made it home. Then, a notification appears. There’s a new message.
jungkook 🏍️: you stole my helmet
You stare at the screen for a second, a smile returning on your lips. You can’t help but notice that he added a little bike next to his name, and it does something to your little heart.
you: not on purpose
The typing bubble appears almost immediately.
jungkook 🏍️: yeah, sure…
For a brief second, you don’t know whether he’s mad about it or not, so you try to think about what you could eventually reply. But before you can even type anything, another message comes through.
jungkook 🏍️: you didn’t need to steal my helmet to get another free ride 😊
jungkook 🏍️: you can simply ask
That makes you smile more than expected. You settle back on the chair, the helmet resting on the counter beside you, and it’s the proof of tonight’s wild turn.
you: i’m definitely going to ask for another ride 👀
Your heart is beating super fast in your chest. Jungkook makes you feel a certain way—one that you haven’t felt in years, and honestly, you don’t ever want it to stop.
jungkook 🏍️: i can give you another free ride when i pick it up tomorrow
Your entire body freezes when you read his message. He’s literally suggesting seeing you again tomorrow, and you’ve barely just said goodbye. Maybe Hyunri was right when she said that he liked you.
jungkook 🏍️: unless you’re planning to keep it
You feel yourself getting way too bold as you type your answer.
you: maybe
At that instant, your best friend sends you a thank-you message, telling you she’s glad you made it home safely. When she discovers who drops you off, she’ll go insane. In the end, you did more than talk with him. She’ll be proud of you, you’re sure of it.
jungkook 🏍️: do you intend on asking for more rides? 🤔
Well, you definitely would love to repeat this more often, but you can’t just say it now. You met him like five hours ago.
you: if you ever propose, i wouldn’t say no 😊
jungkook 🏍️: we’ll have to check about that tomorrow if you ever give me back my helmet
The silly smile on your face doesn’t fade away. This conversation with him feels incredible.
you: okay, so see you tomorrow then 😊
jungkook 🏍️: yes
The three dots appear and remain for a while before another message drops.
jungkook 🏍️: goodnight, yn
And this right here melts your heart. Not only because it’s a sweet message, but also because you can hear him say it, as he did minutes ago.
you: goodnight, jungkook
And just like that, you go to bed with the silliest smile on your face.
“Are we in a parallel universe?” Hyunri’s voice echoes in your apartment through your phone’s speakers. “What has happened to my best friend?”
Her words make you giggle. As always, she’s exaggerating everything, which only makes you roll your eyes.
“Why are you exaggerating like that?” you ask as you eat your breakfast.
Honestly, this morning you craved chocolate cereals, and you know it’s mostly due to the amount of alcohol you had last night. Always after getting drunk, you find yourself craving chocolate. On top of that, you’re also having a cup of coffee to help you out with the hangover. The aftermath of a night out at thirty doesn’t hit the same way as in your twenties.
“I’m not!!” she almost screams. “Wait, let me add Juhee.”
“Ri, no,” you tell her, but she doesn’t listen, of course, and adds your best friend.
“Hi guuuuuuurls,” Ju screams when she picks up the call. “How are you doing?” She seems full of energy, which makes you smile, even though you know that in a couple of minutes, you wouldn’t be smiling anymore, as they will be talking and raising too many questions related to Jungkook.
“I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the party,” Hyunri says.
“Why?” Juhee asks. “Did something happen?”
Is there any point in talking? No. Hyunri is going to say it anyway, and you’ll have to listen to them ranting about you as if you weren’t there.
“Our super friend here managed to get a hot babe’s number,” she teases.
“Don’t call him ‘hot babe’, it’s weird,” you tell her.
“What?” Juhee says. “How?”
You want to chuckle because her reaction is funny, but it’s best not to react at all.
“I’m still trying to figure it out, but as you can imagine, yn hasn’t said much.”
You roll your eyes for the millionth time since she called you. “Let me eat in peace,” you simply reply.
“We don’t care about that,” Juhee says. “We want details!”
Now you giggle before your eyes flutter shut for a moment. Souvenirs from last night flow through your mind. Jungkook seems to be the only thing your mind can even focus on at this moment.
“You actually know him,” you reveal. “It’s one of Yoongi’s closest friends. It’s Jungkook.”
“You should have seen the way he was always looking at her,” Hyunri continues without even letting you or Juhee speak. “He’s really into her.”
Your best friend seems very into what happened yesterday.
“Now, the best part was after the party…” she continues.
Thank god that it’s not a video call, otherwise she’d see the way you constantly roll your eyes. She’s definitely exaggerating everything. It’s like it’s the event of the year when there’s not really much to say.
“Wait…” Juhee then cuts Hyunri off. “Jungkook?”
Juhee must know tons of things about him, and most probably, she knows him well since he’s a close friend of Yoongi with Hoseok—based on what you found out yesterday.
“Yeah,” you simply reply.
Her reaction kind of surprises you. Is there something wrong with him?
“Is there anything we should know about him?”
Your heart is now beating super fast, too scared to hear something you wouldn’t like. For sure, whatever she says will impact the way you’ll see him, and in a couple of hours, you’ll be spending some time with him. Hopefully, she doesn’t have anything bad to say.
“Well…” she begins before pausing for a second. “Not sure if I’m supposed to be the one saying it, but he divorced like a year ago, and apparently, it’s been rough for him since then.”
Somehow, it’s not surprising that he was married, especially considering how thoughtful he was. And on top of that, he’s good-looking, so it mustn’t be difficult for him to find someone.
“What happened?” Hyunri asks with curiosity.
“Yoongi doesn’t speak much about it, nor does Jungkook, but from what I understood, they simply grew apart,” she explains. “But now, back to what happened yesterday, I want to know everything. Yoongi will be happy when I tell him about this.”
A smile spread across your face as you imagine your best friend telling her husband about this. “After the party, he dropped me off with his bike,” you summarize yesterday’s events.
“Annnnnd?” Hyunri tries to push you to reveal more.
“It was cool,” you say. “I’ve never been on a bike, so it was cool to live the experience.”
“You’re annoying, yn,” Juhee says. “We want to know more than that.”
“Fine,” you take a very deep breath. “He gave me his number, and I’m seeing him again today.”
Both girls scream with happiness on the other side of the phone, clearly trying to make you deaf. They really are unbelievable. However, their reaction definitely makes you happy because you know they’ve always been supportive of you. And now, they’ll definitely do everything they can to encourage you to see Jungkook as often as possible.
“I should have introduced you to him years ago!” Juhee says with enthusiasm.
“Well, if he was married, it wouldn’t have changed anything,” you reply.
“Yeah, right… He was indeed already taken,” she seems kind of defeated. “Still, now, you’ve got to meet him, and you can’t do anything stupid to ruin this.”
“He’s definitely into you, yn,” Hyunri continues. “You need to seize the opportunity.”
Honestly, you’re not really sure you’re ready for anything related to relationships. You’ve been on your own for four years, and the simple thought of dating someone scares the hell out of you. Jungkook seems like a nice guy and looks good, but what if he realizes that he doesn’t like you? What if he realizes you simply look good?
“I don’t know…” you admit.
Being single all these years wasn’t in your plans, but life happened. In between sickness, grief, and heartbreak, you gave yourself some time to breathe. Dating was the last thing on your mind, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t try to give it a shot.
Two years ago, you tried tinder, but it was a total mess. It overwhelmed you after two days, and you deleted your profile. You gave it a second chance three months ago, but it ended up with the same result.
The conclusion was that dating apps aren’t for you.
Being on your own never scared you, but sometimes, loneliness can be suffocating—like really suffocating. Those nights, tears get the best of you. Being alone isn’t easy all the time; however, you have to admit that it brings you peace, and you actually love it.
Juhee and Hyunri are worried you’d spend the rest of your life alone. You’re thirty and very much single. For a while, you totally ignored them because you didn’t give a shit about it all. But now, with this Jungkook, it feels a bit different.
“Look, I know you’re scared, but just go with the flow with Jungkook. Don’t overthink, just enjoy yourself. If it doesn’t work, then that’s it, but don’t try to push him away if he keeps coming back, okay?”
It seems easy for her to say. She isn’t the one struggling with relationships. She’s been with Yoongi for seven years, married for two years, and had a baby girl one year ago. She found her soulmate while you’re still trying to figure things out in your life.
“Okay,” you say.
For now, you just have to focus on when he shows up at your door in a couple of hours to retrieve his helmet. Probably nothing will happen, and maybe he’ll leave in two minutes. Maybe he’s not into you, as Hyunri likes to repeat.
“Now, have you planned something for when you see each other again?” Hyunri asks.
“No,” you reply instantly. “He’s just going to pick up his helmet.”
“His helmet?” Juhee asks.
“Yeah, I accidentally stole it yesterday.”
“Ooooh, our girl was so charmed that she stole something…” Hyunri teases you.
She’s not wrong, but you’re absolutely not going to admit it just yet.
“This is awkward, Ri,” you tell her.
“Okay,” Juhee intervenes. “It’s a good thing, though. You get to see him again.”
For sure, you’re going to see him, but you’re not sure how it’ll go. Probably nothing will happen.
“I might have said that I’d like to get on his bike again,” you confess.
“Girl, please beg for that ride today,” Hyunri literally begs you.
“We’ll see,” you reply. “He’s probably just going to take the helmet and leave straight after.”
“Yn…” Juhee exhales. “Don’t let him leave right after. Speak a bit with him and absolutely ask for that ride.”
You take a deep breath. You’d like to go for another ride, but would it even be appropriate if he’s coming to pick up the helmet? He said yesterday that he’ll see when he comes today, but what if he changed his mind?
Suddenly, you receive a notification from him. Your heartbeat increases drastically, and you remain silent as your friends keep talking.
jungkook 🏍️: hi yn ✨ is it okay if i come in one hour?
For a minute, you look at the message without knowing what to say or even to think.
“Yn?” Juhee says, bringing you back down on earth.
“Sorry,” you reply. “He just texted me.”
It feels like you’re in a parallel universe. Everything that has been happening since last night feels absolutely unreal.
“What did he say?” Hyunri asks with curiosity.
“He’s asking if he can come in an hour.”
“And you’re going to say yes,” Juhee tells you.
It’s not even a question. She’s saying it, and you don’t have much of a choice.
“Yes,” you confirm.
you: hi jungkook, yes it’s fine ✨
His reply comes seconds later, as if he was waiting for your answer.
jungkook 🏍️: perfect! see you
“Girls, I’ll have to leave then,” you tell them. “I need to clean my place, it’s a complete mess!”
“Okay, but you keep us updated,” Hyunri makes you promise.
“Yes, I will.”
An hour later, the doorbell rings in your apartment, and your heart starts racing. Your eyes quickly dart around, checking if your place looks presentable. In the mirror of the entrance, you quickly check your reflection to make sure you look presentable.
Following your friends’ advice, you’ve chosen a simple but not too casual outfit. So, you’ve opted for a fitted black top that hugs your frame, the neckline dipping just enough to soften the look without trying too hard. You paired your top with jeans sitting high on your waist, perfectly fitted at the hips before falling straight down your legs. And on top of that, you put on a thin belt that pulls everything together.
You’re kind of satisfied with the outfit, but somehow, it feels like your top is a bit too much. However, now that Jungkook rings at your door, you can’t back out and change.
When you look at the videophone, his strong figure captivates your full attention, and you can’t help but smile. He’s opted for a full black outfit that suits him incredibly well. He’s wearing a tight shirt under a large jacket and tucked into his jeans. In his left hand, he holds his helmet.
“Hi, Jungkook,” you speak through the interphone. “It’s the fifth floor.”
“Thanks,” he says as you open the entrance door through a button on the interphone.
You take a very deep breath, trying to calm your beating heart and your racing thoughts. “He’s just here to pick up the helmet, nothing more,” you try to convince yourself. Deep down, you wish he’s not here just for that. Deep down, you hope he’ll propose to do something. Deep down, you simply want to be around him.
A loud knock against your door brings you back to reality, and without much hesitation, you open the door. Your breath is completely taken away when he stands tall in front of you. He looks even better than yesterday, if it was even possible.
His lips stretch into a bright smile before he says, “Hi, yn.”
“Hi, Jungkook,” you say, smiling as well. “Come inside.”
You step back to let him in, and he doesn’t waste a second before getting inside your place. Jungkook looks around, discovering every corner of the apartment’s entrance. You don’t own a big place because you can’t afford anything bigger, but one thing you’re proud of is the fact that this is yours. You bought this with your own money.
He turns around, his intense gaze now on you. That part hasn’t changed since last night. He still looks at you in a way that makes your tummy twist. You really want to hold his gaze, but you just can’t.
So you look around, searching for the helmet. “Let me just grab the helmet.”
Jungkook frowns. “If you didn’t want my presence here, you could have just said it,” he begins. “I could have waited at the entrance.”
You tilt your head, trying to understand what he’s saying, and when you do, you feel guilty. You’re so awkward that you want to slap your face so badly.
“It’s not that,” you say, shaking your head.
You pause, trying to think of the right way to express yourself, even though you know you’ve already made a mess in like a second.
“I just…”
It feels like you can’t even express yourself, while he’s just waiting for an answer. For sure, after this, he’ll run away and never come back. This is more than over. You don’t even dare to look at him, too scared of what you might see in his eyes.
“I just thought you were here for it,” you finally say, slowly looking back at him.
To your surprise, you see a sly smile on his face, and even if his stare is still intense, it doesn’t feel threatening.
“I wouldn’t be here if it were just for the helmet,” he replies.
“Oh.”
Well, his reply leaves you speechless. He’s implying that he’s here for you, not to retrieve the helmet, and that does things to you. You’re not sure you can remember the last time a man said he wanted to spend time with you, except for the brief times you were on tinder. So, that doesn’t count at all.
“Do you want to drink or eat something, then?” you proceed to ask.
His smile grows bigger as he nods. “Where can I put this?” he shows his helmet.
“Follow me,” you tell him.
Jungkook does as you say, and you guide him to the living room. When he sees the stolen helmet, he instantly understands he needs to place his right next to it.
“You can sit on the couch while I bring some things,” you say with a little smile.
The man nods as you disappear into the kitchen, take some juice from the fridge, and pick up a few biscuits. You come back with all of that and take two glasses from the sideboard.
“This is all I have,” you show him.
“It’s enough,” he smiles. “I really like this orange juice. My favourite.”
His words reassure you.
“I can do coffee if you want,” you propose as well.
“No, no, this is fine,” he replies.
You nod, and the two of you start eating some of the biscuits you have. Those are lactose-free because, unfortunately, your body decided it was damn time you stopped tolerating lactose. In all honesty, this is horrible. The only positive side is that you now know what you're eating, since you always have to read the ingredients.
“Your place is cute,” he finally breaks the silence.
“Thanks,” you reply. “I bought it two years ago, and it’s slowly starting to look like something.”
He chuckles, his fingers placing a chocolate biscuit in his mouth, and you can’t help but drool over this simple action. Fuck, he looks way too hot without even trying.
“So you live alone?” he asks, as if he’s making sure nobody will show up unexpectedly.
“Yes.”
You’re not sure if it’s a good idea to let a stranger know you live by yourself—we never know what might happen. But, somehow, with him, you feel like you’re safe.
“No man is going to show up?”
Your cheeks instantly heat as you realize he’s trying to check if you’re single or not. “Are you trying to ask if I’m single?” you ask without thinking.
“Maybe,” he says, a cheeky smirk appearing on his face.
He’s going to be the death of you. There’s no way you’re going to survive him if he starts acting like that around you.
“Well, if you don’t ask it clearly, I can’t give you an answer,” you decide to tease him back.
If he wants to know, he’ll have to say it loud and clear. Jungkook chuckles before you hear him say, “Are you single?”
Heath instantly spreads through your body as you hear him say it.
“Maybe,” you keep teasing him.
He shakes his head, picking up another biscuit. Why did you even agree to meet him today? He looks way too good, and you don’t even know how to deal with him. Somehow, teasing him is the only way to do it.
“Mmm,” he says. “Is it a yes?”
You decide to nod, “I have been for a while.”
You don’t really know where you found the courage to say it, but maybe the fact that you feel comfortable enough with him can explain it. Suddenly, his face gets dangerously close, his gaze glued on yours. The strong scent of his cologne wraps around you, and you swear that you can feel your soul leaving your body.
“It’s hard to believe it,” he then says.
His words take you off guard.
“Why?” you frown.
“Someone like you can’t possibly be single for long,” he replies.
Your body heat keeps increasing while your heart simply decides to abandon you. Jungkook can’t possibly say things like that. You chuckle, not believing a word. “Is that what you say to all women?”
“No,” he says simply.
The way he says it—calm and without hesitation—makes you shiver. His answer actually surprises you because you weren’t expecting him to reply with ‘no’ so simply.
“I’m sure a guy like you doesn’t have trouble meeting women,” you say.
Even if your friend told you it was hard for him after his divorce, you’re absolutely convinced he managed to flirt—and maybe do even more—with stunning women. You’re not saying you’re ugly; it’s far from that, but you’re sure that he has seen tons of pretty women.
“A guy like me?” he raises an eyebrow.
You’re not even sure what you’re supposed to reply, but you know he understands what you mean. He’s just trying to push you to say it out loud.
“You know what I mean,” you then reply.
Jungkook watches you for a second, his face still too close to yours. A sly smile grows on his face, and your heart just drops right there and then.
“Yeah,” he says. “But it doesn’t mean I’m interested in all of them.”
His answer flusters you. Jungkook is quite straightforward, and you haven’t met a man like him before. It’s unsettling, but at the same time, impressive. As you don’t know what to reply to that, you change the topic of the conversation completely: “I believe you promised me another ride on your bike.”
As you say it out loud, it absolutely sounds dirty. You’re so fucking awkward… He’s going to think you want to go wild with him when it’s absolutely not the case. You press your lips together, trying to suppress the urge to cringe.
Jungkook doesn’t react right away, but for the first time, he looks away. It is as if he needs some time to process what you just said.
“I did,” he then replies calmly. “And we can go whenever you want.”
His eyes meet yours again, and you bite the corner of your lower lip as you think of the place you’d like to go. You’re not sure it’d be right to suggest it because it’s tied to heavy and strong emotions.
“There’s a place I used to go to,” you admit.
You don’t look at him when you continue. Honestly, it’s been a while since you’ve wanted to go there, but you were too scared to go alone. Using this bike ride seems like the perfect excuse.
“I haven’t been there in a while.”
You can feel Jungkook’s eyes on you. Somehow, it feels like you have forgotten how he spent last night constantly looking at you. It’s like he can’t look away, and it’s sometimes unsettling.
“I’d like to go back there,” you say, finally looking at him to see his reaction.
Nothing has changed; it’s like he’s a statue. He’s simply looking at you with that unreadable expression. Jungkook doesn’t ask questions, just nods, “Okay,” he ends up saying. “Let me know when you want to go, then.”
“Can we go now?” you dare to ask.
Again, he simply nods. The two of you stand up at the same time, and you notice a little smile on his face. He looks cute when there’s no smirk or sly smile on his face.
Back on his bike, your arms wrap around him while he drives, and you feel alive all over again. A stupid smile stretches across your face as he guides you both through the city. You didn’t think you’d be back on the bike this soon, but god, you’re definitely not going to complain.
At a red light, he looks back, his hand falling on top of yours. “You’re doing okay?”
“Yes,” you try to scream, making sure he can hear you.
“Good,” he says, his head looking back at the road.
His fingers stroking your hands warm your body in an unexplainable way, and you can’t help but wrap yourself tighter around him. Right now, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. He’s made you feel a lot in less than a day, and even if you don’t ever see him again, you’d cherish those moments forever.
When the light turns green, he starts the engine. You look around, enjoying how the city becomes a blur all over again. The bike zigzags between the cars at a fast speed, giving the impression that they are barely moving. Your body moves with his as he drives you around. It’s honestly impressive.
At some point, you rest your head against his back and close your eyes, enjoying the feeling of the wind running through your body. This is so unique. This time around, having your body pressed against his doesn’t scare you. It’s actually the opposite.
Jungkook slows down as you reach the destination, your eyes opening when he speaks. “Can I park here?”
“Yeah, should be fine,” you reply.
He completely stops the engine on a little spot, and you climb off the bike. The street is almost empty, as it was the case when you used to come years ago. The two of you remove the helmets once you put your feet on the floor.
Jungkook’s gaze lands on you, and you don’t look away. His fingers quickly run through his hair to arrange it. This man is so effortlessly good-looking.
“We just need to walk a bit,” you tell him.
He nods as you guide him through the houses and down the street to your secret spot. Four years ago, when you were walking around with an aching heart, you discovered this spot with the prettiest view of the city. You’ve come here tons of times, but over time, you stopped coming.
When you reach it, you halt, and he stands next to you. The view is still breathtaking. A smile forms on your lips. Before you can realize it, your eyes meet the man next to you. For the first time, he isn’t looking at you, but at the city.
“This is a pretty spot,” he admits before looking at you.
“It is,” you say while holding his gaze.
Your hand grabs his gloved one, guiding him to the railing placed a bit further. His hand wraps around you, which honestly creates goosebumps on your body, but you simply ignore it. Once there, you don’t let go of his hand just yet.
“How did you discover this?” he asks, his eyes moving between you and the city. “This is really hidden.”
“The story behind it isn’t the most joyful,” you admit.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t feel like it,” he tells you.
You let go of his hand, put your elbows on the railing, and place your head in your hands. The helmet hangs on your arm while your eyes simply take in the sight before you. Somehow, being here doesn’t overwhelm you as you thought it’d be. It actually eases your mind.
“I lost my best friend to cancer around the time my ex-boyfriend broke up with me,” you confess, not looking once at him.
Revealing the truth feels easy when the person next to you is a complete stranger. He can’t judge you, and even if he does, you can simply walk away.
“The pain was suffocating,” you explain. “And I’d walk around the city for hours to empty my mind. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work,” you try to chuckle, but only a weird noise escapes your mouth. “One day, I stumbled upon this spot and kept coming because the noise in my head and the lump in my throat would calm down for a minute in here.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” he tells you.
“Thanks,” you reply. “It’s been four years, but it feels like it was yesterday.”
You can tell that his eyes are on you, not in the city, but you don’t care. It feels good to say this to someone who isn’t Juhee or Hyunri.
“I understand,” he confesses. “Losing someone isn’t easy.”
It isn’t. Grief never leaves you; you simply learn how to live with it, but there are times when everything comes back with more intensity. In those moments, you’re brought back in time, and everything becomes unbearable all over again.
“I hadn’t come here in years, but it’s good to be back,” you admit.
“Thanks for telling me all of this,” he tells you. “And I’m happy you brought us here. It’s very beautiful.”
A small silence settles between you after his words, but it’s not heavy nor awkward. It’s just there as if you both need to proceed with everything you just shared with him. You nod slightly, your gaze still fixed on the city.
The wind brushes lightly against your skin, and without thinking, you pull your jacket a little closer around you. Jungkook steps just slightly closer, not enough to invade your space, but enough to shield you from the breeze. It’s subtle, but you notice it.
“You don’t talk about it much, do you?” he asks quietly behind you.
You shake your head. “Not really.”
The pain that comes with revealing this is always too much, but with Jungkook, it seems easy. It’s not overwhelming, nor painful. It’s just peaceful, especially with the view in front of you.
You finally turn your head to look at him. There’s something different in his expression. It’s softer—as if he can totally understand you and your feelings. It leaves you wondering if he also lost someone.
You hesitate, but then ask, “Have you lost someone too?”
He exhales quietly, his gaze drifting to the city behind you. “Yeah,” he says after a beat.
Jungkook doesn’t elaborate, and you don’t push. He has the right not to tell you everything right away. As he said, losing someone isn’t easy, and most probably, he doesn’t feel like sharing with you what he went through. Nevertheless, you’re here if he ever wants to speak.
He moves to stand next to you again, his shoulder brushing against yours. You don’t move away, nor does he. This feels right.
“I used to come here alone,” you say. “I never thought I’d ever bring someone.”
Jungkook glances at you, and you do the same. Your heart misses a beat when you notice the way he looks at you. It isn’t intense, it’s just soft and filled with feelings. Nobody ever looked at you like that.
“I’ll take this as a good sign,” he says.
You huff a quiet laugh. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
His lips curve faintly. “Too late.”
You shake your head before looking back at the city. Another silence stretches between you, and neither of you tries to break it. It just feels good. Being here after all this time feels refreshing because things are different now.
You’ve overcome the heartbreak your ex-boyfriend caused, and the grief isn’t as suffocating as it was. You now know how to live with it, even though you still cry over the loss of your first friend. Lucas would be proud of you; he wouldn’t have wanted you to cry for years.
“Whenever you want to leave, let me know,” he says.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay a little longer,” you tell him.
Jungkook simply nods, and you remain here for a couple more minutes. When the wind becomes too cold, he places his jacket around your shoulders. You mumble a simple ‘thanks’ as you let his warm wrap around you.
No matter what the future holds for you, the simple fact that a man came with you here and showed nothing but support will forever be engraved in your heart. There aren’t many men left like him. He doesn’t question or push you to open up to him. He’s just there, and you only met him last night. What will it be like in a couple of weeks or even months if he stays around?
When you tell him you feel ready to leave, he just brings the two of you back to his bike. No one really speaks, but there’s no need to. You give him back his jacket so he doesn’t get cold while he drives—you’d feel really bad about it.
Like he did yesterday, he stops in front of your building complex. This time around, he climbs off his bike as well. When you open the case on the back to put the helmet back inside, he places his hand on top of yours.
“Keep it,” he says.
His fingers tug a strand of hair behind your ear, as if he’s trying to rearrange it. You let him do as he wishes, your eyes glued on his. Your heart is beating way too fast in your chest, ready to burst at any moment.
“You might need it again,” he whispers.
Clearly, he wants to see you again, and you’re not really sure if you’re ready for that. However, the voices of Hyunri and Juhee echo in your head. You should try not to let him go just yet.
“You’re sure?” you ask.
Your question isn’t about keeping the helmet. It’s about checking if he truly wants to stay around.
“I am,” he replies with the softest voice. “But if you don’t want—”
“I want to,” you cut him off.
Not pushing him away isn’t going to be easy, but there’s one thing you’re sure of. You love being around him. And you don’t want to let him go.
For the past two weeks, you’ve been speaking nonstop with Jungkook. Everything seems easy with him. You don’t struggle to open up; he actually silently encourages you. He doesn’t say it, but always mentions that you don’t have to if you don’t feel like it.
Juhee and Hyunri have been excited about this whole thing with Jungkook. Juhee even speaks about it with Yoongi—you found out that Jungkook has been talking about you with Yoongi, but she refuses to let you know what they’ve been talking about. However, with the way she’s been encouraging you, you can deduce that it’s been positive.
Tonight, he’s picking you up for an outing. The only thing you know is that you’re going to a restaurant for dinner. Honestly, that doesn’t say much, because you don’t know how you’re supposed to dress.
If you follow your friends’ advice, you’d be dressing like a whore, and it’s not necessarily the impression you want to give him. You’ve been enjoying what’s been going on between you without the need to go freaky.
What you’ve discovered is that Jungkook is the type of man you introduce to your parents. Not the type to have one-night stands. For sure, he’s hot as hell, but beyond his looks, there’s a heart made of gold.
You’re not going to lie and say you haven’t thought of sleeping with him, but it was just a fantasy. When you’re around him, it’s the last thing on your mind. You simply enjoy his presence and every little thing that he does for you.
When you reach the main entrance of the building, Jungkook is waiting for you against the wall. For a second, you let your eyes roam over his body. Tonight, he looks different. The biker version of him is gone. Instead, he’s dressed in a full brown suit, the fabric slightly loose on his frame, like everything he wears. This man only seems to love extra-large clothes, but on him, it just works.
It makes him look attractive.
“Hi,” you say finally, once you’ve taken him in properly.
At the sound of your voice, his head turns, and his gaze instantly finds you, his eyes moving slowly over you.
The outfit you’ve opted for is different from what you’re used to. You stepped out of your comfort zone tonight, for him, even if you don’t want to admit it. So, you’ve put on a black skirt—that has been in your wardrobe for years—with a red top that adds just enough contrast. Your black oversized jacket falls naturally over your shoulders, and the boots give you a bit more confidence than usual.
It’s simple, but feels different.
“Hi,” he says, his eyes meeting yours. “You look great.”
“Thanks,” you smile at him. “The suit looks good on you.”
You’ve never seen him in a suit, which somehow makes tonight feel special. You step closer, closing the distance between you, and lean in to press a gentle kiss on his cheek. His hand naturally finds your lower back.
When you pull away, his hand doesn’t leave. His thumb gently strokes your lower back. The simple gesture comforts you in ways you can’t even express. In fact, being around him always brings peace to your soul. You love being with him. It’s just easy. You can simply be yourself, and he’ll never judge you.
“We should get going,” he says after a moment. “Don’t want us to arrive late.”
You nod. Before you can step away, he leans in just slightly and presses a soft kiss on top of your head. The gesture catches you off guard. Then, his hand guides you forward, still resting at your lower back as you walk together toward his car.
It’s the first time you've seen it. You’re so used to the full biker Jungkook, and this feels different. The car is pretty and most probably expensive. You can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips. This man definitely has good taste.
But then again, you already knew that.
His hand never leaves you as you reach the passenger side, guiding and protecting you. Feeling his warmth next to you is like having a blanket wrapped around you; it’s comforting and reassuring.
He opens the door for you without a word, and when you move to sit, he adjusts slightly to make sure you’re comfortable before closing the door behind you. The outside world fades as you settle into the seat, the soft leather adjusting beneath you. The inside smells just like him, which makes you smile.
Over the past two weeks, you’ve found yourself looking for his clean and strong perfume. It’s like your body and soul are already addicted to him, and you’ll die if you can’t have it for a day. And when you don’t, it’s compensated for by the sweet melody of his voice whenever he calls or drops voice notes.
A few seconds later, the driver’s door opens, and Jungkook slides in. You glance at him as he adjusts his jacket slightly before starting the car. The movement is simple and controlled, like everything he does. Even here, nothing about him seems out of place. If anything, it fits him too well.
The engine hums to life, and he rests his hand on the steering wheel before glancing at you.
“You’re good?” he asks.
“Yeah,” you nod.
Your eyes drift around the interior before settling on the world outside through the window. The car slowly starts to glide into the street with ease.
Neither of you speaks for a moment, but the silence isn’t awkward—it never is with him. The city stretches around you as he drives. You rest your elbow lightly against the door, your fingers brushing your lips as you watch the passing streets.
“You don’t use this car much, do you?” you ask after a while.
He glances at you briefly, then back at the road. “Not really,” he replies.
“That’s what I thought,” you murmur, a small smile growing on your face. “I’ve only ever seen you on the bike.”
He chuckles a bit, which makes you turn your head toward him. “On a day-to-day basis, it’s easier with the bike,” he begins to explain. “I avoid the traffic when I go to work, and honestly, I prefer the bike to the car by far.”
He glances at you again, and you hold his gaze.
“It makes sense,” you reply as he focuses back on the road. “But honestly, I didn’t expect you to have a car like this.”
“What did you expect?” he asks with curiosity.
“I don’t know…” you shrug lightly. “Just the bike, I guess.”
A faint smile pulls at his lips. “I do have other sides,” he replies. “I’m not just a biker.”
“I’m starting to notice that.”
Jungkook slows down at a light, the red glow reflecting across his face. You watch him without really meaning to, and his gaze lands on you, neither of you looking away. At first, having him look at you was sometimes unsettling, but it isn’t anymore.
Suddenly, the red glow turns into green, but he doesn’t notice it, or at least, he pretends he doesn’t. Honestly, you could stay like this forever, but I’m sure the cars behind wouldn’t agree.
“You should focus on the road,” you whisper.
He just nods and starts the car, gliding it through the city. Your eyes look out the window once more, watching silently as the world moves around you. In the past few years, you’ve always been the driver, never the passenger, so you have to admit that it’s a bit odd to be in this position tonight.
Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t good.
After a while, you reach your destination, and your mouth drops as one of the fanciest restaurants in town stands before your eyes.
“We’re going to eat here?” you ask, your head turning to look at him.
Jungkook nods, and your entire body freezes. It’s barely possible to get a reservation, unless you want to wait months. And then, this is expensive as hell.
“How did you…?”
He chuckles lightly as a little smile appears on his face.
“Well, I’ve some friends who helped me out,” he replies.
“No,” you shake your head. “We can’t.”
“Why so?” he frowns. “I thought you’d love to come, you mentioned it a couple of times.”
The simple fact that he remembered you speaking about it warms your heart. He listened and remembered, which to you means more than you’ll ever be able to express.
“It’s not about that,” you say. “This is expensive.”
“And?” he replies as if money was the least of his concerns.
For the past two weeks, whenever you’d be out, Jungkook would pay for everything. Since you’ve met him, you haven’t paid a single thing, even if you begged. He always hides behind the excuse that he was the one inviting you, which wasn’t true all the time.
“I already know you,” you tell him. “You won’t let me pay.”
“I invited you, so I should be the one paying for it.”
“Not this time,” you clap back. “And if you don’t let me, I’ll never speak to you ever again.”
He raises an eyebrow while his eyes try to read yours.
“I dare you to,” he replies.
You’re almost offended by his words. “You don’t believe I can?”
“You’ll for sure do it at first to prove me wrong,” he begins explaining. “But you wouldn’t resist too long.”
Now you’re offended that he already knows you. This sounds totally like you. As you’re stubborn as hell, you’ll try to prove him wrong by ignoring him for as long as you can, but then, you’ll stop. And you both know the reason. You’ll miss him.
As you don’t know and don’t want to reply, you beg, “Just let me pay, please.”
“If it’s expensive for me, it is for you too,” he replies instantly, crossing his arms against his chest.
As you’ve also noticed, there’s no arguing with him. If he has decided something, you can do, say, or ask whatever you want; he’ll just do as he planned and won’t flinch at all.
“At least, let me pay for my part?”
Your words sound more like a question than intended.
“Give me a solid reason, then,” he flatly says.
“The expensive part isn’t reason enough?” you ask, and he shakes his head.
You sigh in defeat, knowing damn well, you’ve already lost this fight. He’s going to pay whether you want it or not. It’s honestly very chivalrous, but he shouldn’t have to pay for everything. It’s like his wallet knows no limit.
“I just feel bad, okay?” you then confess. “You always pay for everything, and I don’t want you to throw your money like that.”
At that moment, something entirely soft appears in his eyes, and his shoulders slightly drop down. His hand finds its way to your cheek before his thumb slowly and gently strokes it. His face gets closer, his hot breath caressing your face.
“I throw my money where I want to,” he gently whispers. “And it’s worth it with you.”
Your eyes inevitably stare down at his lips for a hot moment before shifting up to his eyes. Jungkook can’t throw things like that, especially when it makes you feel so special.
“It’s not fair,” you admit out loud. “I should be able to do it too.”
He chuckles, his eyes still glued to your face.
“Keep your money and make good use of it,” he answers.
You shake your head, looking away and pushing his eyes off your face. He makes everything harder. It’s impossible to resist him.
“Why can’t you let me pay?” he sincerely asks.
His question catches you off guard, which makes you stare back at him instantly. You tilt your head, and you can tell by the look on his face that he isn’t used to this. So, it leaves you wondering if people just let him pay without even questioning it.
“We both work our asses off to earn it,” you start explaining. “It feels like I’m exploiting you when I also have the means to pay for everything we do.”
You don’t know much about his job; he’s always so vague about it, as if he wants to avoid speaking about it. All you know is that he works in finance and he’s gotten promoted several times. With those few pieces of information, you deduced that he must be comfortable in life. Now, to what extent, you don’t really know.
“Please don’t feel like that,” he mumbles. “It’s never been my intention.”
Of course, you know it, and you also don’t want him to feel bad about it. You’re simply not used to all of this. Even your ex would let you pay, but things were different back then. He was struggling financially, and it wouldn’t be right to let him pay for everything. But still, it just feels wrong to let Jungkook do it.
“This is my way of expressing my gratitude for spending time with you,” he whispers with the biggest doe eyes.
Damn, how are you supposed to resist him? Those doe eyes always get the best out of you. He gets whatever he wants with that.
“That’s nice of you,” you tell him. “But just let me sometimes pay, okay?”
He nods, and you can’t help but press a soft kiss on his cheek, even though his lips are the spot you’d like to kiss.
“But it’ll start after this dinner,” he replies.
Well, there’s no more arguing left now. You’ve found a middle ground for now, but you’ll for sure remind him of it next time he doesn’t let you pay.
“Okay,” you agree.
The rest of the night just goes well. The conversation flows perfectly between the two of you, and you absolutely enjoy the dinner. The restaurant looks even better than in all the pictures you’ve seen online, and you’re definitely grateful that Jungkook managed to find a table.
Obviously, you let him pay for you, but you had to bite your tongue when you saw the price. Even if you carefully chose a not-too-expensive plate, it was still a lot. Nonetheless, everything was super good, and let’s not even talk about the wine. It was so good that you swore you had an orgasm just with it.
When he drops you off, it feels like the night was too short. You wish you could spend more time with him, but you don’t want to scare him off just yet.
“Thanks for the night,” you tell him once you’re in front of the building’s entrance.
“I should thank you too,” he replies. “It was great.”
You nod, agreeing completely with him. It was really good, and you’d love to do this again.
“We should repeat it,” you say.
“As long as you keep my helmet, we’ll repeat this as much as you want.”
The helmet has become the guarantee that you’ll keep seeing each other, as if it’s an excuse. Somehow, you know that as long as you have it, you have him as well. It’s proof that he trusts you and wants to spend time with you.
A smile grows on your lips, and you swear that at that moment, your body melts. The more you spend time with him, the more you love every single word falling from his pretty lips. It’s like he’s a romantic man without even trying.
“I’ll keep it forever then,” you admit.
Jungkook gets closer, his hand delicately placing a strand of hair behind your ear. This simple gesture sends shivers down your spine. Your eyes get lost in his, and the world seems to disappear around you as his thumb lightly brushes against your cheek, leaving a warmth that spreads through your entire body.
“I’d love nothing more than that,” he whispers, his face moving way too close to yours until you feel his hot breath on your skin.
Your heart hammers faster and faster in your chest, and for a brief moment, nothing else matters. He’s about to kiss you, there’s absolutely no doubt about it, and truthfully, there’s nothing else you want more right now.
“I’ll keep it safe,” you reply, your eyes moving from his eyes to his lips.
His nose brushes against yours, the bare touch making you shiver. When his eyes search yours, you know he’s silently asking for permission. And when you don’t pull away, he simply knows.
Then, he closes the distance.
His lips press against yours with hesitation at first. His hand finds its way to the back of your neck, holding you while he deepens the kiss. The world entirely disappears as his lips move against yours, consuming you completely.
Your body leans into his instinctively, your hands finding his chest to bunch the fabric of his suit jacket beneath your fingers. When his tongue brushes your lower lip, your stomach flips, and you let him in. The sensation is overwhelming and beautiful.
When you break the kiss, you’re both breathless, foreheads resting against each other as your eyes meet once again. Jungkook’s fingers softly caress your face, and his touch is so soft. You close your eyes to savor this moment.
None of you speaks, too lost in the moment to even express what you feel. Jungkook has made you feel so loved in such a short time, and it’s in all the little things he does, like making you keep his helmet. And above all, he’s shown you that he’s there, by your side. That’s worth way more than any word he could ever say.
His lips meet yours once more as if he needs to repeat it to make sure it’s real. And you let him consume you as much as he wants. He can even take your soul if he desires, because you know that he holds your heart in the palm of his hand.
“Miss yn,” Juhee says when you pick up her call.
“Hi to you too, Ju,” you reply.
Last night you slept like a baby, your dreams filled with Jungkook and his sweet lips.
“How on earth am I finding out through my husband that you kissed Jungkook?” she says, trying to sound angry, but she fails miserably.
Her words catch you by absolute surprise. It’s been a couple of hours since it happened, and Yoongi is already aware of it? You haven’t imagined Jungkook being the type to share everything so fast with Yoongi, his best friend.
“Woow, he already knows?” you ask.
“Of course he does. He has like a group chat with Jungkook and Hobi, and they share everything,” she explains. “Like absolutely everything.”
“Oh.”
“BUT I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!” she screams on the other side. “Gosh, I’ve been dying to hear that since Yoongi’s birthday!”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the smile appearing on your face. You’re also happy that you finally kissed. You’ve been giggling all morning, thinking about it.
“Don’t get too excited,” you reply. “It’s just a kiss.”
“Stop,” she instantly says. “It wasn’t just a kiss, and we all know it.”
She isn’t wrong, but you don’t want to get ahead of yourself. The last time that it happened was with a man who broke your hearts months later. You really don’t want to get hurt. However, it’s clear that you’re letting Jungkook in and giving him all the powers to hurt you.
“Look, you never heard this from me, but Jungkook gets as excited as you about whatever is going on between you. Yoongi even told me that he hasn’t seen him this happy in years.”
A little silence falls between you—one that simply allows you to process for a moment what she just told you.
“I know I promised Yoongi I’d never say anything, but I want you to realize that he’s really into you,” she breaks the silence. “I know you’re scared because of what Elliott did to you. But you can’t be scared for the rest of your life. If you want to find someone who loves you, you have to let them in,” she pauses for a hot second. “You have to let Jungkook in.”
It’s easier said than done. You know you’ll always overthink everything, which probably isn’t the right move.
“And if he ever dares to do something wrong, we’ll kick him in the ass!” she adds. “Now, seriously, we’re rooting for you because you both deserve this.”
“Thanks, Juhee,” you tell her.
“Now, tell me everything!” she urges you.
You chuckle before saying, “He told me that as long as I have his helmet, we’ll keep having dates.”
“Oh god, he’s soooo cheesy,” she says. “But damn, that’s so sweet.”
You then explain everything in detail—from when he picked you up to when you kissed. She keeps giggling through it all, and somehow, it fulfills you that your best friend is so invested in your love life. You know that she’ll support you no matter what.
After that, your sister shows up at your place with your favorite niece in the world—well, it’s your only niece—because she has an important appointment with her husband. They’ve been trying for a second baby through IVF. They followed the same route with your niece, as they were aware of their fertility issues.
Your parents are out of town; they went on a trip to Thailand to enjoy some time alone. With your sister, you’ve encouraged them to do it because they’ve spoken about that trip for years. They decided to go there for three weeks and visit as much as they could.
“Don’t be too silly, okay?” your sister tells your niece, Ivy.
“I promise, mommy,” she replies with the sweetest voice.
“Don’t worry, sissy,” you add while you grab your niece in your arms. “She’s always been good with me.”
Ivy wraps her tiny legs around your waist and her arms around your neck. She’s so tiny for a 5-year-old, but so clingy. You absolutely adore this kid with all your soul.
“Yeah, but I just want to make sure she doesn’t drive you crazy,” she retorts.
“If anything, I’m the one who will drive her crazy,” you chuckle.
Your sister smiles, knowing damn right that it’s the truth. Before your niece existed, you were driving your sister crazy since the day you were born.
“Now, go before you arrive late at your appointment,” you urge her to leave.
She presses a kiss on her daughter’s cheek before doing the same to you.
“Have fun!” she says as she disappears into the hallway.
You close the door, put down your niece, and look at her. She brought her coloring book with her, and it might keep her busy for a moment. You’re not sure how long the appointment will take, but if it lasts long, you’re not sure the coloring will be enough to keep her entertained.
“Let’s get to the living room,” you say, grabbing her little backpack. “Want your favorite juice?”
Since you never know when she might show up at your place, you always have her favorite orange juice, which you recently found out is also Jungkook’s.
“Not yet,” she replies.
Once in the living room, she sits down on the floor in front of the coffee table, takes his book and the coloring pencils, and chooses which coloring she’ll do. On your end, you decide to sit on the couch, which is more comfortable than the floor.
“Do you want to watch something in particular?” you ask.
“Can we watch The Little Mermaid?”
You nod and put it on. She’s obsessed with it; luckily for her, you adore it too. Otherwise, you would have grown tired of watching it every time she comes. At some point, your phone buzzes next to you, and your eyes quickly take a glance.
The second you notice it’s a message from Jungkook, the silliest smile stretches on your lips. For a moment, your eyes run over his message. He’s asking if you’re doing something today. Since your niece is sitting between you and the tv, you take a picture to show him what you’re currently doing.
you: taking care of my niece
The three dots instantly appear on your screen.
jungkook 🏍️: lucky her
Your smile grows bigger, you’re sure it’s reaching your ears.
you: you could come after, if you want 😊
Your heart is beating way too fast in your chest. You’d love nothing more than to spend time with him, especially after how last night went. You’d love to kiss him all over again.
jungkook 🏍️: of course
Your face gets hotter because he didn’t even hesitate.
you: and could we go on a ride? i miss it 🫣
jungkook 🏍️: we do whatever you want
There is a little pause before he sends you a second message.
jungkook 🏍️: everything is fine for me
He’s way too nice. You’re scared you’ll tire him of going on rides, which you don’t want because you enjoy it too much.
you: aren’t you tired of me asking that?
“Aunty?” your niece suddenly turns around.
“Yes, princess,” you say while putting your phone aside.
“Which color you think is better for the dress?” she asks.
She shows you all her pencils, and you look between them and the coloring, trying to figure out which will suit best. The green seems instantly like the perfect color. In the background, your phone buzzes, letting you know Jungkook has replied.
“This one,” you show her the green pencil.
She takes the pen without thinking much and starts coloring. You decide to remain on the floor, next to her, so you grab your phone from the couch. When you unlock it, you notice three messages from Jungkook.
jungkook 🏍️: no, i love my bike
jungkook 🏍️: and i like the rides with company
jungkook 🏍️: you can keep asking as much as you want
A smile grows again on your face. You feel like a teenager falling in love with her crush, and damn, you don’t want that feeling to ever disappear.
you: don’t say that, i’ll ask every single day for a ride
Your heart beats crazily as you type your second message.
you: might even ask you to drop me off at work at some point
“Who are you talking to?” Ivy suddenly asks without hesitation.
Your eyes move from the phone to her tiny figure.
“A friend,” you tell her.
“Is your friend cool?” she asks.
“Absolutely,” you reply instantly.
Without even looking, you notice his answer, but you don’t look just yet as you speak with your niece.
“How cool?”
She’s way too curious, but you don’t mind. She’s still young and cute too, so she can ask or say whatever she wants with you.
“Like he has a bike,” you reply.
“Woow,” her little mouth takes the ‘O’ shape as she speaks. “Can I see a picture?”
Well, you don’t have a picture of his bike.
“Wait, let me ask him.”
She nods, and your eyes fall on your chat with Jungkook.
jungkook 🏍️: i’ll do it gladly
Your heart melts right there and then. What have you done to find someone like him? He’s just so nice and sweet with you. You feel like you can ask for the moon, and he’ll hand it to you without even blinking.
you: you’re too nice!
you: my niece is asking for a picture of your bike
you: can you send one?
It takes a couple of minutes before you receive the requested picture. It doesn’t do it justice at all, but it still looks good.
“Here you go, little monster,” you tell her as you show it to her.
“It’s beautiful,” she says with the biggest doe eyes.
She takes her time to look at the picture as if the bike will suddenly come to your living room if she keeps looking. She looks cute, though. Then, a message from Jungkook pops up.
“You have a message, aunty,” she points out.
jungkook 🏍️: i can come if she wants to see it irl
You almost giggle in front of her. Seems like Jungkook would find any excuse to come see you, even using your niece.
“Would you like to see it?” you then ask to Ivy. “Like really see it?”
“I can?” she says as her eyes widen, and a bright smile grows on her face.
“Yes, my friend can show it to you,” you tell her.
“Yes, yes,” she says, completely excited.
She stands up and starts jumping with happiness. It really fills your heart to see her like that, and you’d do anything to make her happy until she becomes old. Even though she’s your sister’s daughter, she’s kind of your baby too.
you: she would absolutely love that
jungkook 🏍️: okay, i’ll be there in 10 minutes
“We can keep watching the movie until he arrives, okay?” you tell her.
She nods before sitting down on the floor next to you. She presses her tiny body against yours, and you wrap your arm around her. This little girl definitely owns your heart.
Exactly ten minutes later, you receive a notification from Jungkook, letting you know that he’s arrived. Somehow, knowing that your niece is going to meet him makes you nervous. Why? Because it’s like letting him in your family. Ivy is definitely going to tell her parents about this, which will lead to your sister asking about this, and then, she’ll definitely want to meet him.
“So, little monster,” you tell her. “My friend’s here, but before going, I have something to give you.”
She nods, and you disappear into your room to pick up the helmet. When you come back, you hand it to her.
“To make it even cooler, I’ll let you borrow my helmet,” you smile at her.
“Thanks, aunty,” she says.
“Now, let’s put that jacket on because it’s too cold outside.”
The two of you get ready. You look like an absolute mess. You weren’t exactly planning on seeing Jungkook, so it’s just you, your large Sabrina Carpenter shirt, your oversized jacket, and your grey sweatpants.
When you’re finally outside, she sees the bike right in front of her. She gets super excited, which is somehow super funny. As he notices you, Jungkook climbs off his bike and takes his helmet off.
“Hi, mister,” Ivy says while extending her hand to him. “I’m Ivy, her niece.”
“Hi Ivy, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he says, taking her hand and gently shaking it. “I’m Jungkook.”
His eyes briefly shift to you, a bright smile appearing on his face.
“Heard you wanted to see a bike for real,” he says with a gentle voice as he lowers himself to her level.
“Yes, my aunty even brought her helmet,” she tells him.
“Well, we will only put it when you’re on the bike,” he explains to her.
“I can go on it?” she asks with evident excitement.
“We’re not going to drive, but you can sit on it,” he tells her.
She gets even more excited, and he takes her in his arms before placing her on the bike. She looks so so tiny on it, but it’s honestly one of the cutest things you’ve ever seen. She’s ridiculously adorable like that.
“Now, Ivy’s aunty,” he says to you, “can you please give me your helmet?”
You nod as you give it to him. With all the care in the world, he places it on top of her head. Obviously, it is way too big for her, but she’s absolutely living her biker dream. As you watch them interact, your heart melts completely. You never knew you needed this in your life.
Jungkook climbs behind her at some point and starts the engine. You obviously take the helmet back as it is too heavy and big for her little head. Let’s avoid hurting her while she’s under your watch. Your sister would kill you if something happened.
He leans in slightly, making sure that he doesn’t squish your niece, and one hand settles on the handlebar.
“Watch this,” he says.
He twists the throttle, and the engine roars to life beneath them, the sound low and powerful as it vibrates. Ivy’s eyes widen instantly. With a small smile, Jungkook gently takes her hand and places it on the handlebar.
“Feel that?” he says.
Ivy nods, almost bouncing in place as the vibrations hums under her fingers. This moment unfolding before your eyes is honestly marvelous. Ivy is clearly so happy to be on a bike for the first time in her life, and Jungkook is more than happy to share this moment with her. He clearly loves his bike. No wonder he doesn’t mind going around with you.
“Aunty,” Ivy calls you, “can you take a picture, please?”
You take your phone out of your pocket, placing yourself in front of them. Jungkook holds her tightly in his arms while she still has her hand on the handlebar. They both give you their brightest smiles. You take several pictures, and then they go back to discuss the bike as if you don’t even exist.
Jungkook tells her many things about it, like how and when he bought it, how he started driving bikes, and how much he loves being on it. She begs for a ride, but he categorically refuses, as it is too dangerous, which you emphasize as well. Obviously, she’s a bit disappointed.
Honestly, you don’t know how long you stayed outside, but you know that it’s enough to have your sister back from her appointment.
“What are you—” she freezes the second she sees her daughter on a bike with a stranger.
“Wait,” you tell her before she joins them. “He’s a friend of mine, and she’s completely safe with him. They’ve been at it for god knows how long.”
Your sister stands next to you, looking at Jungkook and Ivy on the bike, who are animatedly talking.
“A friend of yours?” she raises an eyebrow. “Is it the sexy kind of friend?”
Your eyes move from Jungkook and your niece to her. You really can’t believe her. One second ago, she was concerned to see her daughter with a stranger, and now she’s asking if you’re being freaky in bed with that stranger. Unbelievable!
“Don’t!” you tell her. “It’s not like that between us.”
“Well, with a friend like that, I would have already opened my legs,” she chuckles.
You tap her arm, which only makes her laugh even more. “You’re married.”
“But that doesn’t stop me from appreciating a good-looking man when I see one.”
You roll your eyes, annoyed by what she’s saying. If you didn’t know, you’d believe that she doesn’t care about her husband, but that woman is like desperately in love with your brother-in-law. However, you still decide to tell her what’s going on between you and Jungkook. She’ll find it out anyway.
“If you want to know, this is a friend I’ve been seeing for like two weeks and whom I kissed last night,” you tell her.
She gasps at your words. “You’re telling me that my baby sis is finally giving a chance to a guy?”
“Exactly,” you reply.
“Well, this day couldn’t be going any better!” she says with a big smile on her face.
“You got good news from this appointment?” you ask.
“We’ll start next week our first round,” she explains, and you instantly hug her.
You’re so excited for her. You know how much it means to her to have a baby, and knowing that the whole process will start next week makes you incredibly happy for her. You can’t wait to have another niece or nephew.
Your sister then decides to join her daughter and Jungkook to check up on them. Ivy couldn’t be happier than she is right now.
“Little lady,” she says when she’s next to them. “I leave you with your aunt, and you decide to trick a young man into showing you his bike?”
She laughs with her entire soul, which is an absolutely adorable sound, by the way.
“He’s aunty’s friend,” she explains to her mom. “He agreed to show it to me.”
For the first time since he showed up, his gaze lands on you, and damn, your heart stops beating instantly. The softness in his eyes and the way they glow get the best out of you. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, but you know that this moment fills him with joy. And man, you’re so glad your niece asked for this.
Your sister introduces herself to him, and for a little moment, they discuss. She’s completely charmed by him, just like her daughter. You look at everything from the outside and simply let them discuss. You wouldn’t want to influence the opinions they’ll have of each other.
Somehow, it scares you that he got to meet your sister while you’re still figuring things out between you. But at the same time, it reassures you, because if she believes he’s an asshole, you’ll know where you stand.
He and Ivy end up leaving the bike, and you join them so you can say goodbye to your sister and your niece. When your sister hugs you, she says, “He’s definitely a keeper, so don’t mess things up.”
You hold her even tighter and close your eyes for a second. Knowing that she appreciates him fills your heart.
“Now, let’s go home, Ivy,” your sister says to her daughter.
The little girl waves at you as they disappear into the street. Her car must be parked somewhere, hopefully not too far, so they don’t have to walk too much.
“So, where do you want to go?” Jungkook asks when you’re alone.
“Like now?” you ask with surprise, and he simply nods. “Well, I don’t have the most appropriate clothes.”
“We can stay at your place if you want,” he suggests.
Honestly, you don’t really know what you want to do right now. Staying at your place isn’t what you want to do at this precise moment, but you also look like an absolute mess, so you don’t really know if it’s a good idea to even go somewhere.
“Maybe we can go to the little coffee shop you talked about the other day,” you suggest. “But I’ll just need to change before.”
His hand takes yours, pushing you closer to him. His breath instantly falls on your face as you both get lost in each other’s gaze.
“No need to change,” he whispers. “You look good.”
“But—”
Before you can even add something, his lips find yours for a soft and gentle kiss. It catches you a bit off guard at first, but you reciprocate quite quickly. Your hands find their way to his neck, pulling him closer while his hands rest on your back. If this is how it’s going to be every time you see him, well, you already can’t wait for next time.
When you break the kiss, you look at him with the silliest smile on your face. These moments with him bring so much peace and happiness to your heart. You definitely don’t ever want to let him go, especially since there’s still much more to discover about him.
“You can’t do that to shut me up,” you gently hit his chest.
“I wanted to do it the second you appeared with your niece,” he confesses.
“Still, it’s not an excuse,” you tell him.
“I—”
And you do as he did to you: you kiss him to shut him up. He instantly kisses you back with a passion that could be overwhelming if it wasn’t welcomed. Your fingers play with his hair at the nape of his neck, as his fingers stroke your back with such gentleness.
“Let’s go to the coffee shop,” he whispers when you break apart. “Before we keep kissing over and over.” And just like that, you climb on his bike and disappear into the street.
As time goes on, you’ve been spending more and more time with him. You’re basically inseparable; he’s always showing up at your doorstep and texting you constantly. Going around on his bike has kind of been your love language.
Even though you’ve been having a lot of fun, it’s obvious that it’s becoming very serious between you. You find yourself waiting for his messages and craving to see him constantly. You absolutely love being with him.
So far, you haven’t put a label on whatever is going on, and except for little kisses here and there, nothing physical has happened, which, being honest, makes you happy. You don’t want to turn this relationship into something sexual.
Why?
It’s simple. You want Jungkook to appreciate you for who you are and not for the sex. On top of that, you haven’t been intimate with any men since your last breakup four years ago, so it kind of frightens you to get freaky with him.
He hasn’t initiated or pushed you to do anything like that, and honestly, you couldn’t be more thankful for that. You’re not sure how you would have reacted if he ever did something.
Jungkook has also been nothing but a gentleman. He sometimes accepts letting you pay, even though you can tell it’s hard for him, which always makes you laugh in some way. However, he’ll compensate in another way, like for example, he’ll buy a bouquet of flowers, or he’ll show up at your place with ramen or your favourite chocolates.
Juhee, Hyunri, and your sister have been encouraging you a lot and giving you tons of advice. It’s been helpful whenever you’d feel like it’s too much, because you’re not used to this anymore.
There are some moments where you question everything. You know you shouldn’t because he’s been nothing but a gentleman, giving you the space you need while still being around. A lot of times, you find yourself doubting it all.
“Should you give him a chance? Should you keep doing this? Should you let him fully in?” Those are some of the questions that sometimes cross your mind.
Also, you’ve been used to being on your own and dealing with everything by yourself. And now, you have someone ready to help you whenever you need it. It’s new, and sometimes, you feel like you’re sharing too much. You feel like he might run away, but he never does. He just helps you.
Even compared to your ex, Jungkook is way more present and supportive. Your ex was definitely there and trying to help you out, but it wasn’t the same. You know you can count on Jungkook no matter what, whereas with your ex, you’d sometimes hesitate to share things with him.
And honestly, back then, you would have preferred having Jungkook because you were dealing with a best friend who was dying. Your ex was there even though he wasn't, and you found out later that he was getting closer to the girl he had always had a crush on, which, honestly, is a jerky move.
This weekend, Jungkook invited you to spend it together in a little house out of the city. Obviously, you hesitated at first, but following many conversations with Juhee, Hyunri, and your sister, you agreed to it.
Honestly, it’s such a beautiful place. It’s surrounded by nature, with other small cabins nearby. You don’t know how he found this place, but you’re happy he brought you with him.
“I heard this is the perfect spot to watch the stars,” he tells you Friday night, right after you arrive.
You inevitably look up at the sky, and the stars shine so bright. The sky is absolutely clear, which is hard to see when you live in a city. A smile stretches across your face.
“We could lie down and watch them together, if you want,” he suggests.
“Absolutely!” you enthusiastically reply.
Jungkook grabs a blanket from the inside before placing it on the floor. You both stand next to each other, your eyes focused on the bright sky. You can’t remember the last time you properly looked up there; it feels like you never have the time to slow down and enjoy life.
The two of you remain in silence for a little while, simply enjoying each other's company. Silences with him are never heavy or awkward. They actually are peaceful, as if they’re mending something inside both your hearts.
“I was married once,” he breaks the silence, his eyes still fixed on the sky.
You also don’t look at him, but deep down, you’re happy that he’s mentioning it to you. Never once have you said or commented on anything about it, preferring to wait for him to speak about it.
“Was it a long time ago?” you ask, even though you already know the answer.
“The divorce was settled a year ago,” he replies. “We were together for eight years at the time of the divorce, and we had celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary a couple of months before.”
They were together for a long time, and it’s saddening to know that his marriage didn’t work out. It must be painful to realize that the person you wanted to spend your life with isn’t the one.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” you gently say. “What happened?”
“Time happened,” he replies before pausing for a while. “After a while, we started to grow apart. We were barely spending time together, and whenever we were, it just didn’t feel right. We would always find excuses to avoid each other.”
Picturing a Jungkook avoiding someone he cares for seems absolutely strange. Since you’ve known him, he’s been finding every possible excuse to spend time with you. However, you know that the version of him that you know isn’t the one that he was back then. If anything, the past version of him created this new one.
“My world also changed a lot at some point, and I guess that over time, she stopped accepting it,” he adds. The way his voice breaks at the end makes your heart ache, so your fingers find his to intertwine them, trying to reassure him in some way.
“On top of that, my family never appreciated her. My dad always told me that she was too superficial, so in the end, it didn’t help.”
Jungkook has barely ever talked about his family. You’ve noticed that he never speaks about his mom, which leaves you wondering whether she was ever a part of his life. His father is mentioned here and there, and you can tell he truly loves him. You also know that he has a younger brother.
“Love wasn’t there anymore, and even if it was the right thing to do, it still hurt,” he confesses.
Your eyes drift from the stars to his face. It’s plainly evident that it still affects him, but you guess it’s the aftermath of a divorce. If you get married in the first place, it’s because you loved the person so deeply. A divorce can feel like a failure.
“I really thought she was the one,” he says, his eyes meeting yours now.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” you tell him.
Even though you wouldn’t be here with him today if he was still with her, it’s still sad.
“I’m too,” he confesses. “But I don’t regret it.” Your eyebrows furrow, not sure what he means. “A divorce isn’t easy, don’t get me wrong, but when it’s not working, there’s no point in staying. We weren’t happy, and I don’t regret choosing to end things.” Jungkook pauses for a moment, his gaze lost on yours. “And I wouldn’t have met you.”
Your heart is seconds away from bursting with joy, and your hand squeezes his. For sure, if his marriage had worked, you wouldn’t have met him, or maybe you would have met him with his ex-wife.
“And believe me, getting to know you has been the best thing to ever happen in my life,” he adds.
The confession hits you harder than expected. Heat instantly rushes to your face, and for a second, you genuinely don’t know what to do with yourself. How are you even supposed to respond to something like that? Nothing you could possibly say would ever sound as meaningful as his words.
“You can’t say things like that,” you shily say.
“I’m just stating the truth,” he says. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”
Inevitably, you hide yourself in the crook of his neck, which makes him giggle, and his arms wrap around your body, holding you as tightly as possible. His strong scent invades your nostrils, and god, he smells so good. Jungkook chuckles, his chest vibrating against your body.
“Why are you hiding?” he asks as his hand runs through your hair.
“Because when you say things like that,” you mumble against his neck, “I don’t know what to do with them.”
“You don’t have to do anything with them,” he adds softly as his fingers keep running through your hair. Jungkook shifts just enough to press a gentle kiss on the top of your head. “I’m not saying it so you’ll give me something back,” he continues. “I just want you to know.”
Your arms wrap around him, and you simply hold him tight against you. What have you done to deserve someone like him? He’s just so patient with you; it’s simply unbelievable.
“I’m also happy I got to meet you,” you mumble against his neck. “Everything seems easier with you.” Revealing your feelings isn’t something you’re comfortable with, but since he’s been nothing but adorable with you, it just feels right to let him know what you think, too.
“Things don’t have to be complicated,” he says quietly. “At least, not with me.” He pauses for a second. “I really like you, and that’s enough for me.” His thumb brushes lightly against your side. “And if you let me, I’ll keep being there,” he adds.
This simple moment fills your heart in so many ways. A little silence settles between you, and you close your eyes, focusing on the way his heart beats against his chest. As expected, he sounds very calm and relaxed, which also appeases you.
“I really want to be there for you,” he continues after a while.
“You already are,” you mindabsentedly reply.
“Not like that,” he says, his head shaking lightly. “More like being part of your life for as long as you allow me to be.”
Suddenly, the thought of him implying he wants to date you makes your heart rate increase crazily. Are you truly ready to have a boyfriend? You’re not really sure, but the answer almost feels evident. You want him to be your boyfriend—more than anything else in the world.
Jungkook chuckles before saying, “I might sound old school, but what I’m trying to say is that I’d love nothing more than to have you as my girlfriend.”
The biggest smile appears on your face as you squeeze him in your embrace. Even if he probably didn’t plan it, having him say those words under a sky full of stars and in such a cute setting makes this all incredibly romantic.
You push back a bit to be able to see him, your smile never fading away, and the second he sees you, the most glowy smile stretches on his lips. He’s very handsome.
“Do I get to call you my boyfriend?” you sillily ask.
“Absolutely! It’s even a requirement,” he replies.
“Then, you can have me as your girlfriend.”
Jungkook doesn’t wait even a second more before crashing his lips against yours. Tonight is by far the best night of your life.
The days went by with Jungkook by your side, as your boyfriend. It has been the most exciting and nervous thing you’ve ever experienced. The patience he has with you never seems to stop surprising you.
However, today isn’t honestly one of the greatest days. The day was rather long, work was too intense, and you worked overtime. You barely took a lunch break, but you didn’t have much choice if you wanted to finish your tasks for the day. To say you’re tired is an understatement. You haven’t told Jungkook anything yet, but sincerely, you don’t think you need to. It will just bother him, you’re sure of it. What’s the point of even telling him everything went wrong today? It’s best if you just rest and stay by yourself tonight.
The doorbell echoes in your apartment, and you take a deep breath. Who could it be? Who’s about to ruin your night?
When you see him on the interphone, your heart squeezes instantly. You directly regret thinking or being even mad about him bothering you tonight. Without hesitation, you let him in, and seconds later, he’s standing in front of you. A small smile crosses his face when he sees you, but you don’t really smile back at him.
“I wasn’t expecting you,” you tell him.
His expression shifts slightly. “I was nearby and thought I’d come to see you.”
It’s like he understands something is off because he doesn’t even try to kiss you. Blaming him about it doesn’t sound like the right move at this precise moment, especially since you don’t know if you should or not.
“Is it okay?” he then asks. “I could leave if you want me to.”
“No, it’s fine,” you answer quickly.
You step aside to let him in, your shoulder brushing lightly against his as he passes. Usually, he would head directly to the living room, but he doesn’t tonight. He just waits behind you, his helmet in his hand, as you close the door. His eyes don’t ever leave your body, and you can tell that he knows something’s off, but he won’t ask if you don’t say it.
“I just arrived from work,” you tell him.
A small silence settles between you. For the first time, you can see hesitation in his eyes, like he doesn’t know what to do. This surprises you as he’s always confident and knows what to do.
“Long day?” he breaks the silence.
You shrug, moving past him to move to the kitchen and putting some space between you. “It was just work,” you say as you open the fridge without really looking inside.
Behind you, you hear his footsteps as he tries to close the distance between you.
“I could’ve picked you up,” he says as he reaches the kitchen.
“I didn’t need that,” you reply.
Your words come out sharper than you meant. Behind you, you hear the faint shift of his weight, but he doesn’t move closer. Not once do you look around to see him. It’s like you need to avoid seeing his gaze on you, as if you’ll completely break down if you do.
“I didn’t say you did,” he replies calmly.
You close the fridge door before exhaling and running a hand through your hair. Then, you turn around to face him. The sight in front of you almost breaks your heart. He’s standing there, looking almost defeated and absolutely powerless.
“I know, I just…” You stop, frustrated with yourself. “You don’t have to show up all the time.”
His brows pull together slightly. “I just wanted to see you,” he says with a shaky and weak voice.
And that just breaks you. You just hurt him, not on purpose, but you still did it. Now, you feel stupid and selfish.
“I’m not used to that,” you admit, quieter now.
“To what?”
Jungkook doesn’t attempt to get closer. He stays where he is and simply looks at you, quietly studying you from afar.
“This,” you gesture vaguely between you. “I’m not used to having someone just be there,” you pause for a second. “All the time.”
Jungkook nods slowly, but doesn’t react straight away to your words. Knowing him, you’d say that his silence allows him to carefully think about his next words. And that comforts you. Right now, you don’t need someone blaming you for how you feel.
“I’m not trying to be everywhere,” he finally says. “I just don’t want to be absent either.”
You look at him, your chest tightening slightly. “I’ve been fine on my own,” you then say.
“I know,” he answers.
Over the past four months, you haven’t hidden how you’ve been by yourself for the past four years. And having him by your side isn’t always easy. Your peace has been thrown upside down since Yoongi’s birthday. Obviously, you’re grateful to have met him, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t destabilize you. You need time to adjust to all of this.
“I’m not trying to take that away from you.”
“Then, why does it feel like you are?” you ask, before you can even stop yourself.
If you hadn’t hurt him so far, you’re sure you did now. And you wouldn’t blame him if he leaves you right now. He has all the rights to. You’re not being fair to him, but it’s just how you feel. It makes you feel like you’re doomed to remain single for the rest of your life.
After a moment, he takes a hesitant step toward you. He still keeps his distance, and you just watch him move. A part of you wishes he’d get closer, but another part would like him to remain right where he is.
“I think,” he says slowly. “You’re just not used to someone staying.”
Your throat tightens, the tears seconds away to run down your face, and you look away—too coward to face him.
“That’s not—”
You can’t finish the sentence, because he’s not entirely wrong. Jungkook takes another step in your direction, but you still don’t look at him. You can now feel his presence right in front of you, and you really want to look at him, but you’re internally struggling.
“I don’t need you to need me,” he says quietly. “That’s not why I’m here.”
Jungkook doesn’t try to touch you. He just stays in front of you, reminding you for the millionth time that he’s here. He’s here for you, even when you struggle with it.
“I just want to be part of your life,” he adds. “At your pace.”
Something in your chest shifts, and you finally glance back at him. He’s really close, but you don’t do anything to push him away.
“I don’t know how to do that,” you admit.
“I know,” he says. “And it’s okay.”
There’s no judgment or pressure. There’s just understanding, as if whatever you just said makes sense to him. Then, slowly, you close the small distance between the two of you and nestle your face against his chest. He doesn’t hesitate a second before wrapping his strong arms around you, holding you as tight as possible. You close your eyes, hearing the melody of his heartbeat.
You don’t know how to deal with all of this; it’s frightening at times, but knowing that he’ll never pressure you is enough comfort for you. He’s not forcing you to embrace this all. He’s letting you do things at your own pace, which, let’s be honest, is a completely new concept to you. Even with your ex, it was totally different.
And that’s how you fall more in love with Jungkook.
You don’t fall for his sweet and beautiful words. You fall for the way he shows you over and over again that he isn’t going anywhere.
Being intimate physically with Jungkook is something you know will happen eventually. You’ve been officially together for two months now, and god, he’s hot as hell. There are moments when you just want to jump on him and let him ruin you in every way he wants. However, it also scares you.
You haven’t been intimate with a man for over four years; you’re not even sure you know how to have sex anymore. Sometimes, you still touch yourself, but it’s not the same. You’re on your own when you do it. Here, it’ll be with Jungkook. When you ovulate, all those frightening thoughts are thrown out of the window. And you know he has picked it up, but he holds back as the perfect gentleman that he is. Knowing him, you’d say that he’s waiting for it to happen naturally.
Tonight, you’re staying at his place. He prepared a fantastic dinner, as usual—he has turned into your own personal chef by now—and now, you’re both in his bed, simply discussing. You’re nuzzled together, your head on his chest, while he holds you close.
“In two weeks, it’s my little brother’s birthday,” he tells you, as his fingers trace circles on your back.
A smile spreads across your face as he mentions his brother. Lately, he has started to speak more about his sibling, mentioning how it has been to grow up with him and how much he cares about him. But other than that, he doesn’t speak much about his family, and honestly, if it’s a matter that triggers him, pressuring him to open up to you seems absolutely wrong, especially considering how he treats you.
“He’s planning a party?” you ask with curiosity.
“Yeah, dad planned something,” he tells you. “He always does for our birthdays.”
“That’s nice,” you tell him.
His fingers stop on your back, and you instantly understand that it might not sound ‘nice’ to him. “I wouldn’t say nice, but yeah, he does it…”
He pauses for a moment, his hand wrapping against your side as if he’s trying to hold onto something.
“He’s mostly trying to compensate for his absence,” he confesses after a while. Again, you don’t say anything, so he can reveal what feels comfortable for him.
“My dad was never there for us,” he continues. “Wasn’t there for any achievement, not even for our graduations. It was actually a miracle that he made it to my wedding.” Your heart clutches at the thought of a small Jungkook abandoned by his dad. “I know he went through tough things; it wasn’t easy for him as well.” he pauses for a bit. “The good side was that my mom compensated for him. She was present, taking care of my brother and me, and loving us equally.”
You push your body a bit back to look at him properly. Jungkook’s eyes are glued to the ceiling, but you can tell that sadness fills them. He swallows thickly, and your hand softly caresses his arms, trying to give him enough comfort to keep going. When his eyes finally meet yours, it just shatters you.
“Hyejo wasn’t my mom,” he confesses. “My mom died when I was two, and my dad remarried two years later. She loved me from the moment she saw me and treated me as hers since the very beginning,” a small smile appears on his face. “I don’t remember anything from before her, but to me, she’s always been there. And nothing changed after my brother’s birth.”
Jungkook places a strand of hair behind your ear, as if he needs to distract himself for a second.
“She was my mom even if she hadn’t given birth to me,” he tells you. “And there were moments in my life when I felt like I was betraying my birth mom.”
Imagining a young Jungkook blaming himself for loving another woman other than his mom is heart-crushing.
“Hyejo was my dad and my mom altogether, and I always held her dearly in my heart,” he continues. “She even walked me down the aisle for my wedding.”
A sincere smile appears on his face, and you can tell the memory is very special to him.
“Unfortunately, five years ago, she passed away,” he reveals.
So, she’s the person he lost. Losing his mother must have destroyed him on so many levels. If you barely managed to get yourself together after Lucas’s death, you can’t even imagine how he felt.
“I’m so sorry,” you mumble.
Jungkook simply nods and runs a finger down your face. It mustn’t be easy for him to reveal all of this, and you feel beyond grateful that he felt comfortable enough to share it with you.
“After that, my dad stopped being absent.”
Now that you know this, you understand why Jungkook is the way he is. Growing up with a dad who’s never there impacts the person you grow into. It’s like he promised himself that he’d never be absent. With you, he makes his presence known under any circumstances.
“It’s good to have him now, but it’ll never erase the past,” he admits. “My brother is still struggling with that and always throws it at this face.”
“And you?” you ask with concern.
“I forgave him years ago,” he replies. “I grew up as an angry teenager and hated him with all my soul, but it was destroying me more than anything else. So, I made my peace with it.”
That totally sounds like him. The opposite would have surprised you.
“My brother is trying to change,” he continues. “The death of our mother changed his perception of our dad, but there’s still a lot of anger inside him.”
“It takes a lot of courage to forgive someone who hurt us deeply,” you tell him.
“I know,” he says. “It’s a lot of work.”
Out of all the people, he’s the one who knows that best.
“I hope he’ll find the same strength to do it,” you reply.
“I hope so, too,” he says.
A little silence settles between you. You simply look at each other, body against body, his fingers touching your face with a tenderness that can mend any soul.
“I truly admire you for that,” you break the silence.
“Thanks, love,” he replies.
Jungkook leans down and presses the softest kiss on your lips. Your hands wrap around his neck, pushing him even closer. The confession makes you feel so many things for him right now—pride, admiration, and even more love.
His past could have turned him into an awful man, but it did the opposite. It made him a man with a beautiful soul. It gave him the strength to be different from his dad. It gave him the strength to give love back despite everything.
And man, that does something to your heart.
You feel even more grateful to have met him. Life has been blessing you with the gentlest of souls, and you definitely don’t intend on letting him go, even if it might be hard for you at times. This is all new to you, but he stays despite it all.
His arm slides around your waist, pulling you closer, just enough to close the space left between you. Your legs tangle slightly under the sheets, your body naturally settling against his. Not once do you stop kissing. It actually deepens more and more.
There’s no doubt where this is going.
Your hands find his shirt to push it off his head and run through his firm body. A little moan escapes his lips, but you swallow it with your mouth. Your top follows the same path when he strips it off your body. The moment the cold air brushes against your bare chest, shivers run down your body.
Those shivers suddenly bring you down, and you realize what is about to happen.
“Wait,” you say against his lips, pushing him away.
“Something’s wrong?” he asks.
You swallow hard, thoughts flying through your mind. Jungkook’s gaze is full of concern, and for a brief moment, you look away.
“It’s just—”
The words seem stuck in your throat.
“Sorry,” you shake your head.
“Hey,” he murmurs, voice low and gentle. “Talk to me.”
The way he looks at you and the way his fingers brush against your skin encourage you to open up to him.
“I’m scared,” you admit. “I haven’t done anything in over four years.”
“It’s okay,” he whispers. “We don’t have to do anything tonight if you don’t want to.”
Right now, your entire body craves him with a desperation you can’t quite name. You want this more than anything else, but your mind keeps reminding you that you haven’t done anything in ages.
“I want to,” your voice is barely audible. “I really do.” You pause for a bit, trying to gather all your thoughts and express out loud what is going on inside your head. “Nobody has seen me naked, and…” you’re not even sure you’ll be able to continue, but you have to. “I’m scared you find me ugly.”
Jungkook exhales shakily and presses his forehead against yours. “There is nothing ugly about you, love,” he softly says. His hand finds yours, intertwining your fingers together. “You’re absolutely drop-dead gorgeous,” he continues. “There’s not a single part of you that's ugly.”
“How can you know that?” you whisper. “You’ve never seen me bare.”
He takes a deep breath, his free hand running through your cheeks.
“When you told me about losing your friend, that felt more intimate to me than seeing you naked,” he tells you. “Being vulnerable with someone means more to me than anything physical could ever.”
How does he always find the right words? It’s like he holds some sort of superpower. That must be it. Jungkook brings your intertwined fingers to his lips, kissing your knuckles, your wrist, and your forearm. The wet kisses ease you a bit, but nothing can ever compare to what he just said.
“Okay,” you say after a while.
“Okay?” he repeats, trying to be sure that you really and fully agree.
You nod before saying, “I really want this.”
“I’ll be slow and careful, but let me know if I overstep,” he tells you.
At first, he moves as if he might break you. His hands run over your body slowly and carefully, as if he’s trying to map your body with his palms. They never linger too long in one place. Your gaze follows his every movement, while his is completely focused on your body.
The remaining clothes slowly disappear from both your bodies, and seeing him naked as well helps you feel at ease. It still isn’t easy, and every time your body tenses, he stops and kisses you gently. There’s nothing but love in every single movement of his body.
Slowly, but surely, his fingers find your wet core, which makes you arch and moan at the same time. The feeling of his cold fingers running through your folds sends shivers down your spine and ignites a fire from within you.
When he slips a finger inside you, pleasure instantly takes over your body. This is new, and it feels so so good. Jungkook takes it easy, giving you all the time to adjust before he adds a second finger.
Your eyes flutter shut to enjoy this moment, but you can feel his gaze on you. The mere thought that this was scaring you minutes ago seems unbelievable. Jungkook leans down to press a kiss on your lips.
“Let me know if it’s too much,” he mumbles against your lips when he slips a third finger.
After so many years without experiencing this kind of exquisite torture, you come as soon as his third finger is inside you. It seems too quick, but god, nobody fingered you in years. And Jungkook does it really well.
However, he doesn’t stop; he keeps fingering you through your orgasm. Your moans get louder and louder, and you’re not sure you’ll be able to keep up with this if he keeps going. The stretch of his fingers feels marvelous. It’s like you’re transported into another dimension. When the second orgasm rips through you seconds later, he takes his fingers out and licks them. That sight alone could make you come because he looks like pure sin.
“Are you okay?” he asks as he takes his fingers off his mouth. As you’re unable to speak, you simply nod. “Good,” he smiles. “Do you want to keep going?”
His concern melts your heart. This is actually so sweet.
“I do,” you reply.
Jungkook stands up, disappears into his bathroom, and comes back with a box of condoms. As he walks toward the bed, he takes one and tears it from the foil. He kneels before you, settling between your opened legs.
“I haven’t done this in years,” he chuckles as he struggles to put the condom on.
“Do you need help?” you ask.
“No,” he shakes his head as he focuses on the task.
After a couple of seconds, he succeeds in placing it and presses his body against yours. His hand grabs his cock to rub it against your folds.
“If it’s too much, you stop me, okay?” he asks. “At any moment.”
You nod. He clearly gives a lot of importance to consent, which is great. Having sex for the first time with your boyfriend is kind of an intense and special moment. It’s better to turn it into a good memory, filled with respect for each other.
When he finally slides inside you, the stretch almost feels too overwhelming. You’ve read and heard that after going several years without sex, your hole goes back to how it was when you were a virgin. You wouldn’t believe any of it, but now that you’re back at it, you couldn’t agree more. It’s like you’re losing your virginity all over again.
Jungkook halts once he’s fully inside, giving you all the time in the world to adjust. Honestly, you’re grateful he does it because you really need it. Your body needs to learn all over again to have a cock inside. His body leans over yours, his lips pressing a gentle kiss on your cheek. Your arms wrap around his back, and you can’t help but hide your face in his neck. Jungkook holds you like you’re the most precious thing in the world.
“Let me know when I can move,” he whispers against your ear.
“Just give me a bit more time,” you tell him.
Your boyfriend remains still for as long as you need him to, and after a couple of seconds, you give him the green light. When his hips start rocking slowly, you’re instantly brought to heaven. His body brings pleasure to you like never before.
Everything feels so intense and consuming. You’re not sure if it’s due to the fact that you haven’t had sex in years, but it’s so so good. Jungkook is nothing but a sweetheart. His movements are slow, careful, and full of love. His lips kiss every part of your face and neck, bringing you to your orgasm through love. This is so intimate; you’ve never experienced sex like this.
The act itself is kind of dirty with all the body fluids leaking everywhere, the sweat all over your body, and the moans, but the way he does it turns it into a vulnerable moment. It’s not about sex. It’s about the love and attraction you both feel for each other.
When you cum, your entire body spasms violently while his name falls from your lips. The pleasure overwhelms you in a wonderful way, and you wish this would never stop. Your walls squeeze him so strongly that it pushes him to his release, coming inside the condom.
His body falls on top of yours while you both try to catch your breaths. When he pulls out to remove the condom and throw it, you feel empty and cold. Seconds later, he comes back to bed, wrapping your body against yours after he pushes the sheets on your bodies. One of his hands strokes your back in slow circles while the other remains in your lower back, pushing you as close as possible.
With all the emotions running through you, you fall asleep in the comfort of his warmth around you.
Two weeks later, it is rumored that the CEO of the company you work for is selling it to a worldwide group. People around you have been talking about it nonstop. Honestly, you haven’t paid much attention to them. As long as you keep your job, you don’t care, and it’s also just rumors; it doesn’t mean it’s true.
Jungkook told you yesterday he’ll have an important meeting today, and you promised him you’d spend the night together, eating junk food and watching some silly romcom to decompress. You’re planning to meet at your place, because it’ll be closer for him.
Your eyes look down at the phone in your hands before you send a quick message to your boyfriend, suggesting to order pizzas for tonight. Before he arrives at your place, you want to have everything ready, so he just has to come and sit down. You really want to take care of him, just like he does with you. He deserves it all.
A reply comes quite quickly, where he tells you that it sounds good. You’re already planning to order from his favourite place right before you leave, so you can pick it up on your way home. Hopefully, the pizzas will still be warm when he joins you.
jungkook 🏍️: can’t wait to be with you ❤️
This makes you smile, and it just warms your heart. Why does he always have to be so cute? Instantly, you let him know that you miss him so much. If you could, you’d bring him to your work, so you never have to be apart.
“Have you heard the news?” your coworker Ana asks as she appears next to you.
Instantly, you put your phone down to look at her. Her desk is right next to yours, and she’s always so into all the gossip going around. She’s the one who told you about those rumors concerning the sale.
“What news?” you frown.
“Well, the head of that worldwide group is coming today to meet the CEO,” she explains.
Honestly, you want to tell her that you don’t care, but that would be rude. And you also don’t want her to stop to tell you all the juicy gossip from the office.
“It’s official then?” you ask her.
“It doesn’t confirm if he’s selling, but looks like he is,” she adds.
“Hopefully, we won’t lose our jobs,” you reply, which makes her chuckle.
“Yeah, I hope so too,” she says.
If that guy is money-oriented, for sure, a lot of restructuring plans and other bullshit like that will happen. You truly hope it won’t happen because you love this job, and it’d be a shame to lose it, but this goes beyond yourself.
“But I heard that he’s kind of hot,” she adds. “If you weren’t so enamored with your Gukkie, you could have tried to seduce him and convince him not to fire us.”
You can’t help but laugh while shaking your head. This woman always pulls things like that, as if it was absolutely normal. “You really think I would have managed to?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
“You’re hot and sexy too,” she replies.
“But he’s like the head of a group,” you tell her. “Those kinds of guys are unapproachable.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” she mumbles in defeat. “It’s best you keep your man.”
By far, you’d prefer Jungkook to some guy who probably thinks the world belongs to him. Usually, those men believe they’re better than anyone else, which is the total opposite of your boyfriend. She goes back to her desk, and you look down again at your phone. There’s a notification—a message from Jungkook where he says that you’ll be together soon.
The only thought of being with him after work thrills you more than anything else. For sure, you’ll mention this whole story to him, because there’s no way you’ll be hiding that Ana tried to convince you to seduce some random wealthy stranger. You can’t wait to see his face.
A couple of minutes later, there’s a lot of agitation around you, and your coworkers whisper things. Inevitably, you look behind you, trying to understand what’s going on. You try to find Ana, but she’s nowhere to be seen, which is annoying because you’re sure she’d know what is going on.
Then, you look to your right. For a moment, it feels like you’re hallucinating. A man is walking in the hallways who strikingly looks like Jungkook. Your heartbeat instantly increases, your eyes follow him, and your mind goes completely blank. It’s him. There’s no doubt.
He’s wearing his lucky suit—the one he only uses for important meetings. You’ve seen him wearing it a couple of times. His hair is pushed the exact same way as in the picture he sent you an hour ago. What is he doing here? And why is everyone looking at him?
“Who is he?” you ask another coworker.
“It’s Jeon Jungkook,” John tells you.
Your heart drops instantly. Yeah, now, you’re a hundred percent sure that it’s him—your boyfriend.
“He’s the head of the Jeon Group and CEO of Jeon Pharmaceuticals,” he continues. “Apparently, he wants to buy the company.”
Your eyes move back to the man walking in the hallway. Never once does he look around; he’s just focused on following the man in front of him. Honestly, you don’t know how to react to the bomb that John just dropped on you.
How on earth are you finding out only now that Jungkook is the son of Jeon Minju, one of the most influential and wealthiest men on earth?
one single company ran your entire country. seven divisions, one board - together, they held more power than any government or monarch could ever dream of. they had a hand in politics, finance, even the quiet corners of day-to-day life. this wasn’t a secret, not really. everyone knew, but no one dared question it. after all, the seven ceos were fair. firm. honest. that alone made them saints in comparison to the politicians that came before.
first came the division of research and development, run by kim namjoon, a visionary scientist who blurred the lines between progress and godhood. his creations redefined innovation, and his mind was the quiet hum behind every major breakthrough.
second, the division of finance and trade. min yoongi dictated the flow of wealth across the nation, calm and calculating. every coin, every market, every debt - it all passed through his hands first. some said he ran the black markets too, but no one had proof. no one needed it.
then came the division of public relations and media. kim seokjin was elegance in human form, the man with a smile so unassuming it could soothe riots. he shaped narratives to his liking, turning chaos into calm.
the division of human resources and influence followed, with jung hoseok at the top. on paper, he maintained order within the company’s workforce. beneath the surface, he held secrets powerful enough to destroy careers with a single admission.
park jimin oversaw the division of marketing and strategy. he was the company’s soul, charming and ruthless all at once. every expansion, every campaign, every brand built to perfection, it all came from his desk, signed with his signature grin.
then there was kim taehyung, head of global development and real estate. the quiet conqueror. cities thrived beneath his fingers, and when they did, he owned them - buildings, streets, and all.
and finally, jeon jungkook. the youngest of them all, and yet somehow, the most feared. he ran the division of security and intelligence. his jurisdiction covered surveillance, military contracts, information control. he was the ghost in every system, the eyes behind every camera. brute force personified.
all seven men had clawed their way up from the dirt, building empires from blood and ambition. but it was jungkook who had the most to gain with nothing to lose. he had no family, no friends beyond his colleagues, no lover waiting for him at home. he lived and breathed the company.
until you.
your morning routine had been the same for the past 8 months. you’d set out your outfit the night before, steamed or ironed, usually consisting of a pencil skirt or a matching suit. your hair, typically bone straight, would sit behind your ears and your makeup minimal.
breakfast was the same, toast and butter with a big glass of water, before heading into the office you had been working at for less than a year. you were a data analyst in the security and intelligence division, one in a team of 5. your job consisted of sifting through encrypted files, checking surveillance logs and preparing reports when asked.
you were completely, and entirely invisible. no one of importance, and certainly not someone people noticed at first glass. you liked to sit on your lunch break quietly, listening to your best friend, yejin, who just by chance worked in the marketing division, as she chatted away. you’d then return to your desk, the only woman in your team, as the other men chatted animatedly whilst completely ignoring you.
not that you minded - it offered you a sense of comfort to know that your routine was the same day in and day out. you came from a household where every day felt like a minefield, with parents that were dismissive and plain mean, favouring your older sister at every chance. when you’d told them you got your job, they didn’t believe you, thinking you must have lied or embellished the truth. there was no way their second daughter, y/n, had gotten a step into such a prestigious career whilst their prized jewel didn’t.
you were a calm person by nature, and you preferred to stick to yourself, with the only exception being yejin. you didn’t have time to date, what with the long hours you worked, and weren’t really sure how to put yourself out there. y/n, the enigma - always quiet, always silent.
“god, he’s such a prick.” yejin grumbled whilst eating her sandwich.
the both of you sat in the canteen, whilst she grumbled about your colleague. she was incredibly protective of you, biting into her food with a huff.
you grinned. “yeah, he is, but it’s fine. it’s not like i pay him any mind.”
“y/n do this, y/n do that. does he get that he literally has a fucking job? that he actually has to do something instead of just handing his tasks off onto everyone else?”
“it’s okay, i already have the report half done. he just needs to hand it to mr jeon’s assistant and then it’s all sorted.” you reassured with a shake of your head. “last time, he messed it up really bad and i’d rather do it myself then let him make us all look like idiots again.” you teased.
she continued her grumbles, sending death stares over at the unassuming man from across the room.
“anything new over at marketing?”
she stopped her nasty looks, returning your gaze with a little sigh. “mr min walked through our office today. he looked so good.”
you giggled under your breath as she twirled her hair, recounting her memory. it was no secret to you that min yoongi was practically the love of her life, and she’d excitedly tell you about the way they’d make eye contact whenever he was in the room.
“yeah? did he look at you again?”
“y/n, we had eye contact for a whole 10 seconds. fuck.” she groaned, chin dropping into her hand. “that basically means he’s in love with you.” you quipped at her, making her giggle.
the two of you chatted quietly whilst you ate.
“are you ready for the meeting later? know it’s gonna be a big one, i’ve been nervous all morning.”
“yeah, i don’t think i’ve ever been in a room with all 7 of them before. i’m kinda scared.” you admitted with a little laugh, pushing your hair behind your ear. yejin had been at the company for over 2 years, meaning this was her 2nd annual meeting whereas this was your first.
“it can get intense.” she admitted, with a sigh. “just be lucky you’re not speaking, i’m representing my team because our team leader is sick, the lucky bastard.”
this earned her a laugh, making her grin wide.
soon enough, you were both heading down to the large meeting room, shuffling in and going to your corners. you sat alongside your team, the 4 men beside you chatting and joking around whilst you sat in between them, quiet. you were nervous, even more so at seeing how laidback your team leader was being. you’d never actually met your head ceo, but the rumours surrounding him floored you each time.
soon enough, the room was quietening down. the atmosphere was beginning to shift, the buzzing warmth becoming cold as all the noise seemed to be sucked out. you couldn’t pin point the collective emotion amongst everyone, but the second the large doors opened, you finally understood all of the things you’d heard before.
each ceo walked in, taking a seat at the front of the room, where 7 seats sat. it was the one on the end that caught your attention, as you felt your breath halt in your throat. perfectly styled, dark hair framing a youthful face that looked too hard, and yet too soft at the same time. large eyes that felt cold, no warmth to be seen as he ran them over each and every one of you.
for a moment, the two of you made eye contact, causing you to look away almost instantly, feeling your cheeks colour at the mere sight of him.
unbeknownst to you, he had his eyes trained on you, savouring the way your chest rose and fall slowly, the sleekness of your hair and the plumpness of your bottom lip. who were you, jungkook wondered? were you new? you were sat in his department, indicating you were his worker and yet this was the first time he’d ever noticed you, pretty little thing dressed in a skirt and shirt.
he looked away once he realised he was all but staring, returning his eyes to the documents in front of him. for the first time in perhaps years, jungkook’s heart was beating out of his chest, his fingers shaking slightly. what the fuck?
you too could feel a shift in your stomach. you knew he’d be handsome to some degree, but this felt like your entire life had been shifted on its axis - this was jeon jungkook? your eyes flickered to yejin, only to find her in an open ogling match with min yoongi.
you began nibbling on your lip as one of the other ceo’s began talking, addressing everyone in the room. your eyes would flicker over to jungkook every few minutes, only to find him already staring, fingers brushing against the documents in front of him. with every look, he’d sit, more alert, his senses at an all time high.
yejin’s group was discussing their new proposed marketing strategy, of course, spearheaded by herself. she had a talent at commanding the room, making sure every single person had their eyes trained on her. park jimin, head of her division, was smirking broadly by the end of her presentation, as if to brag to his fellow leaders that his employees were undoubtedly the best. yoongi’s expression seemed very pleased.
you gave her a small smile once she sat down, earning you a secret wink. jungkook watched the interaction hungrily, eyes igniting at the sight of your expression changing, an ease wallowing through you that he himself had yet to see. you were both an enigma and an answer, and in the mere minutes he had laid his eyes on you, he could feel himself growing more and more intrigued.
after 15 minutes, it was your team’s turn to report on your current research and findings. your team leader stood, and you almost winced at his overzealous ego coming to the forefront immediately. this was hardly the environment for it.
he spoke about general findings for the first 5 minutes, to which you quietly made notes of jungkook’s comments for internal discussions later, not lifting your head.
“our department recently identified a series of anomalies within set data patterns, across different networks. we have no reason to believe that they’re critical, but it’s within my personal opinion that we should monitor them closely, in case of an infiltration.” minho, your team leader, announced, chest puffed.
your gaze slowly flickered to that of jungkook, who was looking over at the slides you had created with a quiet sense of intrigue. “which networks?”
minho’s face dropped slightly, immediately shuffling through the papers in his hands to find the answer. “research and development, mainly, sir. although we did notice some anomalies present in the finance department too.”
jungkook’s gaze narrowed dangerously, as he looked at each and every one of you carefully. this wasn’t a small claim, this would imply an internal breach, a mole from the inside. his gaze on you remained the longest, making you nibble on your bottom lip nervously.
“how were these anomalies detected?”
that was where your team leader stuttered. you hadn’t actually told him how you’d discovered it, as it wasn’t entirely important, but then again, you also didn’t think he’d take credit for it. your eyes flickered up to look at him, watching as a bead of milky sweat began forming at his hairline.
“well..our…the data suggests that..” he stuttered, allowing for jungkook to tilt his head in annoyance. “and what was the extent of these anomalies - are they thought to be internal breaches, or external?”
he was opening his mouth and closing it rapidly, as if flabbergasted and too nervous to even conjure up a normal answer. your other team members sunk into their seats in immense humiliation, the entire board of members watching your group’s representation absolutely flailing due to his own self serving ego.
“our analyst handled the specifics.” your other colleague, juyeon claimed, as a bid to help his friend.
“your analyst.” jungkook repeated slowly, words heavy. everyone in the room gulped, namjoon even offering a look of interest over to his younger business partner. “then bring me the one who ran said specifics.”
the room went silent. he was referring to you. judging from the way his eyes fell on your figure with a primal look, it seemed he knew it too.
“now.”
he didn’t raise his voice, didn’t need to. the sheer power in the treble of his tone was enough to have your hand raising in a meek manner, your introverted nature screaming out into the void as every single pair of eyes in the room fell on you.
you were too nervous to look away from jungkook, his gaze demanding without needing to speak, and you could tell he knew he had you pinned to your seat.
“what flagged the irregularities?”
you began speaking, but your voice cracked, causing a deep flush to form on your cheeks. you cleared your throat, shaking hands behind your back.
“the timestamps didn’t match up, sir. the transfer delays didn’t match the server’s internal clock, only by half a second, but it was consistent enough to be flagged. i ran a secondary check, and ruled out any network lags. i believe someone might be trying to mask any internal movement.” you managed to get out, though your voice was shaky and lacked confidence.
jungkook nodded slowly, leaning back in his chair as he absorbed your answer.
“why wasn’t this escalated to me sooner?” he asked.
you could feel something drop in your stomach. you had done everything right, you’d even put this on minho’s desk first thing when you found out about it, but he’d probably waited until now to showcase it in hopes of brownie points in front of his boss.
“i-i..”, you nervously shuffled your feet, “i..did flag it to my team leader immediately once i had figured out the data was compromised, sir. i don’t have clearance to report it higher and i was assured it would be passed along immediately.”
you hadn’t said minho’s name, a weak bid to protect your colleague from his impending reprehend and jungkook could see right through it. his eyes narrowed, noticing the way your nerves were biting into you.
“you were told wrong.” jungkook affirmed, voice flat whilst his gaze remained intense. “from today onwards, you bring your findings directly to me. i expect them on my desk immediately.”
you nodded, before jungkook allowed you to take a seat. your shoulders were lifted as you desperately tried to calm your racing heart, a lump forming in your throat - you had advertently called your team leader out for lying whilst addressing a, potentially, company wide data leak that had been ongoing for the past two weeks.
the meeting had been completed. you looked over at yejin who offered you a reassuring smile, one that had your stomach relaxing immediately as you ushered your way out, heading out back to your desk.
you walked into your department, everyone rolling their necks from the tension the meeting provided. you could feel your own shoulders slump, excited to retreat to your personal corner when you were rudely intercepted.
“what the fuck was that?” minho hissed, standing in your line of view as he stepped in front of you.
you could feel yourself backing up, your eyes growing wide. he had never spoken to you like that before. “w-what?”
“do you think that’s funny? humiliating me in front of everyone so you could get your 5 minutes of fame?” he stepped closer to you, with full intention of intimidating you.
you winced as though you were physically struck, shaking your head instantly. “no! i would never do that, i’m so sorry, that wasn’t my intention at all, i really respect you, minho, i’d never wanna make you feel that way.”
he scoffed at you, your rambles doing very little to appease his too large, now bruised ego. his hand gripped your wrist harshly, pulling you in closer to stop you from inching backwards.
“you just had to open your mouth, didn’t you?” he gritted out, venom laced into every word.
“i only answered what he asked.” you whispered, your eyes wide and teary.
his laugh was sharp, quiet but dangerous. “let me make one thing clear to you, y/n.” he tensed his fingers around your wrist tightly, causing you to whimper. “stay out of my way next time, or i’ll make your life a living hell. that’s a promise.”
you nodded shakily, causing him to let go of your wrist and straighten out. he looked around the office, offering a loud chuckle. “good job out there, y/n. knew we could count on you.”
chills ran down your spine as you watched him go into his office, tears pilling at your lash line. you took a seat at your desk, clutching the soreness of your wrist, feeling more shaken up than ever. you looked up, only momentarily, making eye contact with a figure at the other end of the room.
jungkook’s secretary, miyeon. tall, with legs that went on for miles, cold eyes hidden behind carefully structured glasses and a suit tailored to her body perfectly. she was the epitome of class, and though she was jungkook’s right hand woman, she was also the ears and eyes of the place. you’d never spoken to her beyond handing her reports, where she’d thank you curtly before returning to her work.
having her eyes on you, confirming that she saw the entire interaction, both scared and relieved you. the look she gave you was fierce - it was a look of imposing justice. you nervously blinked away the salty tears, quickly looking down at your desk before rolling your wrist, not noticing her walk away with anger visible in each step.
it took miyeon all but 2 minutes to make it to jungkook’s office, not bothering to knock as she strolled in leisurely. seokjin sat on his couch, newspaper in hand whilst the office owner sat at his desk, reading the reports from the meeting.
“you shouldn’t just walk in without knocking.” jin murmured; a teasing tilt to his voice.
“yeah? who’s gonna stop me, you?” she countered, not missing a beat. his eyes trailed her curves, shamelessly checking out her ass.
jungkook rolled his eyes, not bothering to look up. “you guys aren’t allowed to flirt in my office, how many times do i have to say that?”
seokjin scoffed. “impossible. she’s my wife, what else am i supposed to do?”
he rolled his eyes again.
“i have a purpose here, we can flirt later honey.” she promised, making the older man grin, going back to his newspaper.
“what is it, miyeon?”
jungkook had appointed her as his secretary with utter ease. there were few people in his life that he trusted explicitly; but seokjin’s bride was at the top of the list - they’d all known eachother for years, and they were a match made in heaven. she was strong willed but fair, the perfect assistant for any ceo.
she didn’t answer, simply grabbing his laptop and signing into the cctv sightings. she put in the area code for the camera that surrounded your desk, and played the past 5 minutes from your entrance to the attack made by minho.
“you just made that poor girl the number one target of her department.” she raised her eyebrow, whilst turning his laptop screen towards the two men.
jungkook’s eyes narrowed sharply, watching how you nursed your wrist at your desk and wiped your eyes quickly, as a means to quietly absorb whatever had just happened.
“get hobi, this fucker needs to be fired immediately. he needs to send one of his management employees over so they can discuss next steps.” jin grumbled, clearly disgusted with what he had just seen.
miyeon rolled her eyes. “if you think this will end through him being fired, then you’re an idiot.”
“you wound me.” he pouted. she couldn’t help but grin slightly.
jungkook wasn’t speaking, instead watching the camera as it now operated live. he could see you sniffling, hiding away whilst you typed away at your desk, no doubt working on something meant for his eyes.
“what, then?” he hoarsely asked.
she wasn’t a fool. she could sense that he had an interest in you, had noticed it the second his eyes had laid on you during the meeting, as though he had finally seen someone for the first time. it was a look she hadn’t seen from the younger man before, and to a trained eye like her own, she knew it to be something beyond intrigue.
“you send a message.”
—
monday morning had rolled around pretty quickly, to which the force minho had inflicted on your wrist had now become an arrangement of vibrant purples and blues. you were still incredibly shaken up, confiding to yejin who had one single purpose - to punch the bastard in his nose until he bled. you knew this was about to be the worst monday of your life, what with having to face your team leader; and now having dinner with your parents at their home. your shoulders were slumped upon arrival at your job, wanting to stay as invisible as humanly possible.
that was a futile dream. within seconds of walking into the large office, you noticed a few people looking at you interestingly, making you raise your shoulders subconsciously. you passed minho’s office, eyebrows furrowing when you noticed it was bare and empty; as though he had never even existed. hovering by the doorway, you turned to look at the general communal space, where your other team members had their desks and they were all avoiding eye contact with you. had everyone found out?
your stomach dropped completely, walking over to your desk with a pounding heart. you just wanted to forget that friday had even happened, and you were hoping desperately no one had noticed. once arriving at your desk, you noticed a simple note placed on your keyboard, waiting for you.
“come to my office,
jeon jungkook”
your hands shook. mr jeon was inviting you to his office? did this mean you were being fired? you tried not causing a commotion last week, you didn’t even want anyone to find out, wanted to be a fly on the wall with ease but it seemed life had a different plan for you. you bit your bottom lip, feeling emotional already as you simply turned on your heels, walking to his office.
it felt like a death sentence, a confirmation that something was about to change, that the 8 months of comfort and solitude you had created for yourself were officially over. your legs carried you, whilst your mind drifted elsewhere, eyes falling to miyeon who sat at her own desk just outside jungkook’s personal quarters with a stern look.
“good morning.” you quietly murmured, clearing your throat a little. “mr jeon said he wanted to see me?”
her gaze flickered up to meet you, and you couldn’t help but notice the warmth in her eyes - not pity, but genuine niceties. “of course, y/n. head on in.”
you nodded, tucking a lone strand of hair behind your ear before doing exactly that. you knocked first, of course, before popping in, nervously closing the door behind you.
you’d never actually been in here before, and you couldn’t help but appreciate the decor, alongside the incredibly handsome man who sat in it. dark walls, oak and paper - the mere scent of his office felt soothing to you, your shoulders slumping with ease.
jungkook watched you, albeit curiously. he had spent the weekend researching you to an inch of your life, using skills and methods that were anything but legal - alas, he had discovered everything about you. you were as sweet as you appeared, and it made him want to touch you, to see if you were real, tangible even. he’d found out everything, from education, your ex boyfriends; even your tension filled relationship with your parents and sister. unfortunately for him, he had left his research feeling fucking enamoured.
“you wanted to see me, mr jeon.” you nervously said, now stood in front of his desk.
you were drinking him up. a tight black suit, catered to his measurements perfectly. a vision.
his eyes met yours, and at first, he didn’t speak. his eyes were roaming over every inch of you, evidently absorbing everything about you. he liked this outfit, cream blouse and black skirt, liked how he could see the shape of your curves.
“y/n.” he hummed, as though he was tasting your name on his tongue.
“yes, sir.”
jungkook leaned back in his chair, gaze meeting yours once more. “you’ve been with us for 8 months now, yes?”
you nodded. “yes, sir.”
you could feel his stare in your stomach, and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to look away, as though you were entirely tethered to it. it seemed outrageous to feel like this, but you assumed you weren’t the only one, he had an aura around him that people must gravitate towards, you thought to yourself. no wonder he was a ceo.
“8 months.” he repeated, quietly to himself. his jaw was tense. “and yet, not once have i seen you, heard your name, haven’t received so much as a simple report with your name on it. until last week.”
you blinked at him, shifting from foot to foot.
“i-i..handed all of my work in to my team leader, sir, i’m so sorry if i overstepped last week, it won’t happen again.”
“you did your job.” he cut in, firmly. his gaze flickered from your eyes down to your lips, watching the way you were nibbling on the bottom, no doubt nervous. “only person on that entire team that did.”
you weren’t sure how to respond, but it was as though he could read you with ease. jungkook stood from his chair, deliberately slow, walking over to you like time was of no real importance. he was standing in front of you, entirely too close and any normal individual would have stepped back to maintain some professional space between you both. unfortunately, you were not that person.
you could smell his cologne, a mixture of wood and earth, greedily breathing it in as it colonised your mind.
“tell me, y/n..” he began, breathing tickling you. “when minho grabbed you.. did you think i wouldn’t find out?”
your heart was beating out of your chest, as you gulped slightly, almost anxiously pulling down the sleeve of your shirt to cover the bruise but it was futile. he knew it was there.
“i didn’t wanna cause any problems.” you meekly offered.
jungkook’s jaw flexed. for the first time, you saw a clear emotion covering his features, something strong, obsessive even. anger. “you were assaulted on my floor. that is my problem.”
you weren’t sure what to say, head dipping to look at your feet, noticing how small yours looked in comparison to his, the difference in size almost jarring. your hands were shaking, not from fear or uncertainty, but the sheer impulse of the moment.
“tell me..” he began, voice suddenly soft, a whisper. his finger tilted your chin, a gentle touch to ensure your eyes would be trained on his. “does your wrist hurt?”
you shook your head, as a bid to calm yourself. of course it hurt, you could feel a shoot of pain whenever you did anything with your right hand but you didn’t want to add any fuel to the fire. jungkook wasn’t an idiot though, he could see right through you.
his once cold eyes were alive, blazing down at you. “he won’t touch you again. i’ve already made sure of that.”
you could tell by his choice of words he was implying minho’s dismissal, and your stomach dropped. your entire team loved him, a group of macho men that did nothing but act like boys together, whilst they all basically scrapped and stole from the hard work you produced. to be the reason he was fired, no matter how big or small, was social suicide.
“you don’t have to do that, i’m sure it was a misunderstanding..” you gulped, wincing at the almost begging tone in your voice.
“i already did. he has no place here.” his firm voice haulted you.
you nodded, but jungkook could see the new found anxiety in your face. his fingers underneath your chin had become somewhat of a caress, cupping the bottom of your jaw with his hand, fingers touching your cheek. it felt so natural, so right, and you couldn’t figure out why.
“from today onwards, you work directly under me. i’ll have a desk moved into my office, and i will personally oversee all of your work. i want your reports and findings on my desk first thing every morning, no intermediaries. understood?”
you nodded, eyes large and lips parted in shock.
to work underneath the ceo was huge, insane even, and you weren’t sure you’d done anything worthy of that really. he tapped your jaw, as though it was a reminder to speak, he craved to hear your voice.
“y-yes sir.” you agreed.
“good.” he hummed in approval, fingers slowly slipping from your face. your heart clenched at the loss of his warmth, as he retreated back to his desk, leaving remnants of his scent.
later on in the day, as you sat with yejin during your break, quietly filling her in, you watched as her face showcased every known human emotion all at once.
“so much to unpack.” she whispered, excitedly curling closer to you over the table as you shyly ate your food, ignoring the way your old team members were looking at you angrily from the other side of the room. “firstly, this is everything out of a wet dream. the jungkook bit, i mean.”
you giggled quietly. “i think he’s just being nice for now, he’ll probably end up moving me to another department later on. who knows, maybe they’ll put me in marketing with you.”
yejin rolled her eyes with a loud scoff, earning her a look from the woman beside her. she brushed it off. “men like that don’t do nice, y/n. he has a purpose here.”
her words rang in your head for the remainder of your lunch break, even when you returned to jungkook’s office. your new desk had been placed near to his, presented in the exact way it usually did with some updated perks, a better laptop and screen all set up for you. you had thanked him an embarrassing amount of times, feeling flabbergasted as to what you’d done to deserve such generous gifts.
you both worked in silence, the sound of your fingers tapping away at the keyboard, producing a report, almost like music to jungkook’s ears. he was notorious for enjoying his silence, he wasn’t a fan of people coming in and out of his office which was why miyeon was entirely imperative to his day to day life. she would intercept anyone and everyone so he wouldn’t have to deal with them and yet here you were. you were bringing life into the same room he was holed up in day in and day out, and he was thoroughly enjoying it. it served as a peaceful backdrop to his thinking.
time was moving fast, too fast, and by the time you had everything sorted, you were printing and placing the report on his desk for him to see at the end of the day. you’d been on edge all day, not because you were stressed; but because this change of routine was new to you, you were still working it out, truly not used to being the centre of attention.
“goodbye, mr jeon, i’ll see you tomorrow.” you gently said, as you headed out in your coat, offering him a small wave.
jungkook looked up and gave you a small nod of acknowledgement, shamelessly letting his eyes run over your figure as you departed. “fuck.” he whispered to himself.
instead of driving home, you began the anxiety inducing drive to your parent’s home for dinner, knowing that it was quite literally the last place you wanted to be on earth. after such a polarising day, your head was swarming with unanswered questions and possibilities, of the deep treble of the man you worked for, his gentle touch and his harsh words. by the time you were arriving, you felt like you were on the edge of unraveling.
you sighed as you walked the steps up to the front door, nervously standing there for a moment and taking a deep breath. your knuckles hit the door gently making you wince due to your wrist, before the door opened, revealing your mother.
“finally.” she began, turning on her heels to back into the house, leaving you outside to come in yourself without so much of a proper welcome. “we thought you weren’t coming.”
“sorry, the traffic was bad.” you murmured, watching her place your plate down onto the table as though you were an after thought. you toed off your shoes, washing your hands before taking a seat.
your older sister, hana, looked at you dismissively, not bothering to say hello. with a wine glass in her hand, she looked positively radiant, beauty defined even - her makeup effortless. hana was the epitome of what femininity was ought to be, and you always felt frumpy in her presence. confident, assured; everything you weren’t.
“y/n,” your father greeted, drinking his own wine. “still working the same job?”
the first jab of the night.
“yeah, i just came from there.” you sat beside hana, slowly filling your plate like everyone else.
“what is it you do again? computers?”
“data analysis.” you corrected. “surveillance monitoring..information control.” your voice got quieter by the end of your sentence, noticing no one really was listening.
“ah.” hana cut in, smirking from underneath her glass. “spreadsheets and numbers all day, sounds exciting.”
the second jab.
the conversation began flowing without you; which was a norm of course. hana discussed her new boyfriend, a surgeon who worked at the local hospital much to the pleasure of both your parents. they knew they’d be able to brag to their friends about how their pretty daughter managed to bag a successful man like him. she discussed her promotion, her new apartment - each sentence prolonging her performance of pure perfection, indirectly shaming you.
you could barely keep up with it, reaching for your glass of water, exposing your wrist to them all unknowingly.
your mother was the first to gasp, eyebrows raising. “what on earth is that, y/n?”
you looked down, pulling your sleeve back down over your wrist immediately. “it’s nothing.”
“how clumsy can you be?” she frowned, displeased. your father glanced over with a shake of his head. “you need to be more careful, that’s hardly a good look for you at work.”
“it was just an accident, it’s fine.” you reiterated, feeling heat climb your throat and to your cheeks, where a red blush sat.
hana rolled her eyes, clearly not enjoying the way the conversation had steered away from her. “she probably got mad at her laptop or something.”
the laughs from your family members made the shame echo in your stomach. it acted as a reminder of your role in their lives, someone meek, quiet, someone who wasn’t to be heard or seen. it was a horrible way to be reminded of who you were in their eyes, but it had become such a norm, that instead of crying or mourning how they made you feel, you simply slipped back into what you knew best. silence.
they chatted about you in front of you, as though you hardly existed. for the first time in years, you could feel it cling to the insides of your heart, an ache you had long forgotten appearing once more. it hurt, you were tired of pretending like it didn’t.
you were about to excuse yourself from the table to get some fresh air when a shrill noise echoed around the room, halting everyone. your phone was ringing.
at this time? you couldn’t think why, scrambling it out of your bag to silence it until you saw the name that appeared. jeon jungkook. your breath caught; miyeon had made you save his number immediately upon arrival to your new duties, but you hadn’t expected to hear from him so soon.
“well, aren’t you going to answer it?” hana grumbled, annoyed with how slow you were being, clearly unaware with who was on the phone.
you nodded, completely dazed as you held the phone to your ear, clearing your throat. “hello?”
“did you receive the file i sent over?” jungkook’s voice was like velvet to your ears, managing to soothe away the previous ache that sat in your stomach with ease.
“yes, mr jeon. i’ll have it on your desk first thing tomorrow.”
he hummed. “good. get some rest, y/n.” he simply murmured before ending the phone.
the silence that followed was deafening. everyone had stopped eating, instead staring at you with wide eyes. there was only one jeon name that was entirely recognisable, who also worked in computers, in the same field as you.
“jeon..as in jeon jungkook?” your dad stuttered out, making you look up in confusion.
“yeah..he’s my direct superior.”
“honey.” your mother gasped, hands clutched to her chest. “why on earth didn’t you tell us you were doing so well at work?” her eyes were positively sparkling, a complete contrast to that of your older sister, who sent a burning stare into the side of your face.
you felt it was too cruel to admit the satisfaction that brought you in your chest, shrugging slowly.
“i didn’t think that it mattered.”
for the first time that evening, no one else spoke.
—
three months had passed and working with jungkook was unlike anything that you had ever respected. for the first time in your professional career, and maybe even your life outside of yejin, you felt heard. listened to. respected. he would often ask for your opinion on things, even if it wasn’t needed and would take the time to contemplate your answer. you’d always known he worked hard, despite not seeing it for yourself, but being this up and close to him day in day out made you realise he was perhaps the most hard working person you’ve ever met.
even now, you both sat at your respective desks, four hours after your shift had already ended. it being winter, the night was dark outside as you both typed away, focused on your tasks at hand. you stood for a moment, stretching out your arms above your head to relieve the tension growing in your body, walking over to jungkook’s coffee machine.
as the aroma of coffee filtered through the air, your eyes flickered over to your boss. sleeves rolled up, shirt unbuttoned at the top - he looked positively sinful. his eyes had been dark all day, as though the work was entirely consuming him, but the company’s quarterly evaluation was tomorrow and you were still unravelling so many mistakes minho had made during his time here. it made you curse him in your brain.
you walked over to his desk, placing the hot coffee at his station before walking back over to your seat, focusing on the documents at hand. jungkook was pulled from his thoughts, the slight brush of your hand against his arm igniting every single emotion in his body as he looked up at you, watching you walk away.
he had grown accustomed to your small actions. you’d make him coffee whenever he appeared tired, or lower the thermostat whenever he could feel himself getting frustratingly warm. words were never needed between you, and unfortunately for jungkook, he had become entirely enamoured by you. you were his first and final thought each day, and he longed to be around you, to smell your familiar perfume. he enjoyed your outfits, your quiet comments when you thought he couldn’t hear - your mere presence was a comfort.
a few minutes later, he too rose from his seat, stretching his legs slightly before rounding over to where you were working observing you from behind. the way your fingers glided against the laptop, hair tucked behind your ears, he couldn’t help but stare. his cologne was heavy in your presence, and had quickly become your favourite scent.
he noticed the way you were slumping on one of your hands, scrolling on your laptop to find what you needed. sleep was pulling at each and every corner of your face and he couldn’t stomach how sweet you looked, how badly he wanted to cup your cheeks and kiss them.
“you’re tired.” he quietly murmured.
you looked up, face slipping from your hand making you flush. “oh..just a little, but it’s alright.”
he rolled his own shoulders, closing his laptop. “no, it’s best we go home now anyway.”
you nodded, standing up and grabbing your things. you both operated in silence as you weaved through the empty building, the two of you walking beside one another with an ease that had been built across multiple weeks.
“how are you getting home?” jungkook questioned, watching you purchase a train ticket as you made your way down.
“hm?” you looked up. “oh, just gonna catch the last train.”
“no.” jungkook refused.
you blinked up at him, confusion pulling at your features.
“i’ll take you home. come on.”
your breath caught in your throat as you watched jungkook walk out of the building with ease, shoulders back and stride confident. you followed him, careful not to trip from your own carelessness.
“it’s okay, sir, really! the train comes every 10 minutes and it’s only a 8 minute walk to my house.” you assured, cheeks flushed from the sudden cold air of the outside.
he didn’t give you an answer immediately, simply continuing to walk towards his car. “keep up.”
you followed him, knowing that jungkook would have no further argument on the matter. once he had his mind set on something, nothing could change it. you approached his car, watching as he rounded over to your side first, smoothly opening the car door.
his gaze was intense as your eyes locked, lips parting. he waited patiently, like a bear waiting on a fawn to do exactly as he wanted, watching you slide in with pink cheeks.
the car ride was relatively quiet, neither of you speaking for the first few minutes. your curiosity overtook you, watching jungkook drive in a absurd sort of fascination, the way he gripped the steering wheel with one hand, the other placed on his lap, to which your eyes followed hungrily. you noticed how restless that hand sat, as though it wanted to be elsewhere - it was lost on you that jungkook was fighting the urge to touch you.
every time you looked away, he would secretly glance at you, absorbing every inch of you he could get. he was growing accustomed to having you so close, but he couldn’t normalise the pang in his stomach, nor his heart. again, it was unlike anything he had ever felt and it unnerved him. you were an anomaly in the numeracy of his brain, you weren't supposed to do this to him and yet here you sat, in his car, the lone person who could unravel him. the worst thing was, you had no idea.
streetlights painted your face, and jungkook watched the way you fidgeted with your bag, curling your fingers over the handle.
“you’ve been quiet today.” he softly offered, almost afraid to break such gentle silence.
your eyes flickered over to him instantly, the sound of deep tones filtering straight through you.
“i’m always quiet.”
he hummed, as though he was contemplating despite the two of you knowing that was both a partial truth and lie.
he stopped at a red light, fingers restless once more. “our annual gala is on saturday.”
it was your turn to hum, almost absentmindedly. “for the board?”
“for the company.” he glanced at you, who nervously met his gaze and for a moment, you were both struck, openly ogling. “you’ll be coming as my date.”
he watched the way your eyes widened and lips patted, the small little sound escaping your mouth. god, he wanted to smother your lips with his own, show you exactly what he felt in that moment but of course, self control.
your brain blanked. “w-what?”
he wasn’t asking, that much was clear. he began driving again.
you swallowed. “i don’t think..i-i..but what if..people will talk.” you managed to let out, nervously peering up.
“let them.” he scoffed lightly, as though it meant nothing to him. “i want you beside me. i don’t really care what anyone has to say about it.”
your stomach had forgone butterflies, stampeding elephants taking their place. you wanted to squeal into your pillow, kick your legs like a little girl and you were sure you would, whilst you tucked a strand behind your ear.
you didn’t realise he was pulling up until the car stopped right outside your modest little house.
“y/n.”
you snapped out of your daze, gaze lifting to meet his, only to find him already staring at you. the intensity was enough to make your hands shake again, and he was aware of it. he softened visibly.
“be ready for 7. i’ll pick you up.” his hand reached out, gently brushing his fingers over your jaw, as a means to cup it. you absentmindedly leaned into his touch, which he clearly enjoyed very much.
he slowly pulled back, eyes closing for a moment. you took that as your queue to leave, softly whispering an earnest thank you before slipping out of the car and up the steps to your home.
jungkook waited until you were safely inside before driving away, thoughts plagued by his too sweet employee that he wanted to entirely ruin.
—
saturday came with ease. the rest of the week had been filled with tension, with stolen touches, observations, comments. it was driving you insane at how easily jungkook was able to disarm you, and how easy it was for you to fall even deeper for your utter intrigue for him. you’d told yejin quietly on one of your lunch breaks that you thought you were developing feelings for him, to which you were sure she nearly passed out hearing. it was then your turn to nearly pass out when she came bumbling over the later on in the day, to excitedly tell you that 1. she too was going to the gala, but as yoongi’s date and that 2. they had just spent the last hour and a half making out in his office.
your apartment was neat and tidy as per usual, whilst you stood in the middle, heart beating and mind racing. your perfume clung to your wrist and chest, the soft sounds of the washing machine trembling over your very modest home whilst you waited for jungkook to arrive.
earlier that afternoon, a package had arrived. no note, not that one was needed. black in colour with a thick satin ribbon, containing a dress inside that you could have only ever mustered up in your dreams. it was a beautiful shade of crimson, slightly deeper in tone, one that had you gasping out loud. it was a colour intended, chosen by jungkook so you would stand out. you weren't invisible anymore. not to him.
the disbelief in your brain matched the slight guilt in your heart. you hated knowing he had spent his money on no doubt such an expensive dress, but you also couldn’t wait to put it on, feeling excited at the mere feel of the elegant fabric.
you spent the next few hours preparing. from a bath, softening your skin with scrubs and oils, to styling your hair, making sure every strand sat purposefully and carefully. your makeup came next, not too heavy, light but enough to make your features stand out.
your dress came next, skipping into it as though it was a second skin. you were shocked to see how perfectly it fit you, not a crease to be found in the material as it sat on your body as though it was its only purpose. how had he even figured out your size? this looked like it had been tailored, fit to measure even, and the thought of him accurately figuring it out made you feel even more seen.
you felt pretty. beautiful. you couldn’t help but admire yourself, feeling giddy at the prospect of jungkook seeing too.
the door knocked. you startled, eyes growing wide before you closed them tightly, breathing in and breathing out. this was happening. you grabbed your bag, before walking over to the door, heels clicking.
once you opened it up, you were shocked to find jungkook standing there himself. you assumed it would be one of his assistants, or someone else, and yet here he stood. he looked utterly delicious, a tight black suit, catered to his measurements perfectly, showcasing his biceps in a way that had you openly ogling.
he too, had practically malfunctioned at the look of you. his eyes were running up and down you shamelessly, a grunt of approval leaving his throat as he too let in a breath of air, his hands yearning to take you inside and show you exactly how he felt about you.
“you look beautiful.” he managed to say, though you noticed his voice sounded tight, restrained.
you flushed regardless, offering him a shy little smile. “you look lovely, too.”
he took your hand, although gently, the possessiveness was clear. he lead you to his car, having a chauffeur for the night as he knew you’d both be drinking, before opening the door for you and letting you in first.
the silence between you was charged, and you were both openly looking at one another. jungkook couldn’t get enough of you, you looked utterly divine, your scent already intoxicating him even though the night had just begun.
“is everyone on the board coming?” you managed to ask.
jungkook looked up to meet your gaze, jaw tight. “all divisions.” he confirmed. “yoongi’s bringing someone too. your friend, i believe.”
you nodded. “yejin.”
“good. you’ll have someone you feel comfortable around, then.” he murmured. your hand was still in his, and you couldn’t help but admire the sheer size difference. “not that i plan on letting you go tonight.”
the honesty in his tone floored you a little, your gaze flickering up to meet his gaze again, looking away at your small hands woven around his. you liked that. you liked that very much, and you wanted him to know it.
the car soon arrived at the venue, with noises from the inside filtering out into the night air outside. you nervously squeezed jungkook’s arm, to which he peered down at you instantly, the both of you out of the car.
“stay close to me tonight.” you nodded up at him.
“i’m nervous.” you shyly admitted, and the way you were curling yourself into him only fed his overpowering ego. his arm slid around your waist confidently, the weight grounding you as he tugged you close to his chest. “you’ll do fine.”
as you walked towards the venue, you noticed the flashing lights coming your way, everyone desperate to get a picture of the youngest member of the board, whilst also getting a peak at the woman by his side. he was notorious for coming to these events alone, so the sight of you simply being held by him as though you were previous cargo was front page worthy.
you avoided eye contact with the camera man, like miyeon had briefed you on earlier that week, instead clasping jungkook’s hand carefully, to ground yourself. he was happy to oblige, holding you close to him as you both walked through the marble archway, getting glimpses of architecture that reminded you this was new to you.
you stepped into the gala, as though you had stepped into a completely different world. bright lights, mirrors catching their glow and twinkling them around the room like diamonds - everyone looked absolutely beautiful, and you could hardly tear your eyes away from what seemed like models walking around with men on their arms.
canopies were being served, whilst people chatted, an air of both elegance and professionalism deep in the air whilst jungkook walked you. you were enjoying the general splendour, completely unaware of how people were ogling you, in awe of the fact jungkook had brought someone, and even more in awe of the way you both looked together. you weren’t just a random model, a date he found last minute - no, no. the way he was holding you, the way his head dipped down to whisper something in your ear, the way you giggled quietly in response. jungkook looked like a man half in love already.
the both of you weaved through the crowd, jungkook introducing you to many people whilst he did his obligatory greetings. the way he introduced you as his equal was something that wasn’t lost on you, a small smile forming each and every single time.
soon enough, you were in front of namjoon and his date, who offered you a big grin.
“namjoon, lia, this is y/n. she works with me in our department.” he introduced you, and your stomach flipped.
with me. our department. his choice of words weren’t lost on you, and you gave his hand a little squeeze of appreciation.
“yes, y/n.” namjoon hummed. “you’re the one that found the breach, impressive stuff.
you flushed pink. “thank you so much, sir.”
jungkook could feel his heart swell in pride, doing the same with all of his board members, almost boasting through you. soon enough, you were in front of seokjin and miyeon.
“it’s about time you came to one of these with someone.” the older man cheekily quipped.
miyeon rolled her eyes. “she isn’t just someone.” she said with a little scoff, before properly turning to you with a grin. “come, y/n, let’s let the boys be boys whilst we get a drink. your friend is waiting at the bar, too.”
you looked over at jungkook, who was sporting a small smirk himself, arm slipping away from your waist. you noticed the way his hand brushed over your ass completely, an act purposefully done, making you raise an eyebrow at him a little playfully. you were enjoying this cat and mouse game.
you headed over to the bar alongside miyeon, where yejin was stood. yoongi passed you both with a small greeting, realising you guys were coming over, and decided to give you some alone time whilst he spoke to his board members.
“i’m going to ruin his life after this.” she casually murmured, sipping on her drink with a wink. miyeon laughed.
“good choice. that’s how i got a ring.” she winked, showcasing the wedding ring seokjin had given her making the three of you giggle.
the three of you chatted away for what felt like minutes and yet you had been there for just under an hour, giggling and gossiping away about the three men that had you enamoured. they questioned you on jungkook, although you didn’t have much to say, instead shyly murmuring that you thought he was handsome, and that he was both kind and protective over you. yejin was squeaking under her breath whilst miyeon sported a smirk, knowing jungkook was head over heels for you. you were both as clueless as each other.
soon enough, yoongi came to collect yejin, wanting to show her something to which she happily obliged. they really were polar opposites, but you caught how much he was enjoying it, and the thought made you grin lightly. miyeon moved over to find seokjin, telling you she’d catch up with you later leaving you alone at the bar.
you took a moment to inhale and exhale. you weren’t alone for long, however, as you found yourself joining a group of people from the research and development division. you were intrigued by the other sectors, considering you didn’t get to venture much, so it was always interesting to hear what they were working on and what they weren’t.
“so, you’re the girl that works under jungkook right?” one of them asked, making you flush.
“yeah, i report directly to him.” you corrected, trying to keep an air or professionalism.
“like an assistant?” one man asked, the one next to you with a tilted head.
“no, i do data analysis. we’re working on identifying a breach, it’s sensitive data so it’s best to work together on something like this.” you corrected once more.
you knew the comment was a dig, but you weren’t exactly someone who was new to those, what with your family life and your past team leader.
the group looked surprised, although appreciated the clarification. the man on your right, however, pushed.
“so,” he swirled his drink, an almost lazy manner. “you’re saying you identified a company wide breach?”
you blinked. his tone was passive, as though he didn’t believe you whatsoever, whilst still keeping an air to it that it almost felt like a veiled compliment.
“it was a team effort.” you murmured politely, offering a polite smile. the others nodded.
“right, right.” he nodded again. he leaned closer to you, so that his breath tickled you slightly. “it’s just, people who work in the security division…there aren’t many analysts that look like you, you see”
“like me?” you echoed, tilting your head.
“you know.” he chuckled, taking another sip. the others tensed, their shoulders tight as though they recognised the exact tone he was using before you could. “you’re awfully polished. most of the people i’ve met from that division look like they haven’t seen sunlight in weeks. numbers and screens constantly, it usually takes a toll.”
you weren’t sure what to say, knowing it was a very clear dig. it was a covert way of telling you that you either didn’t work hard enough, you weren’t as accomplished as you actually were or that you simply didn’t fit in.
“perhaps i’m an exception.” you offered lightly.
one of the women in the group gave you an almost apologetic look, as though she was desperately trying to seek forgiveness on his behalf.
he smirked. “maybe. or maybe you just have the right type of charm, perfect for working under mr jeon.”
you flinched slightly. you knew the implication of his words were that you had slept with jungkook to secure your job as opposed to your own skill, and the comment had your heart sinking. you weren’t sure what to say, how to comment or address such a nasty thing and yet, you didn’t need to.
warmth flooded your back as it suddenly met a much larger chest. you could feel both muscle and hardness behind you, as a hand clutched your waist possessively. you didn’t need to turn to see who it was, jungkook’s cologne fluttering through your senses.
“is there a problem here?” his void was hard, tough like gravel. you’d never heard him so angry, and yet, his demeanour was cool.
the man beside you straightened instantly, eyes widening whilst his smug smirk had dropped quickly.
“n-no, sir. not at all, we were just talking abou-“
“about how my analyst posses a certain skill for ‘working under’ me?” jungkook asked, eyes narrowed.
the entire group had gone silent. there was a sense of fear amongst them and for the first time in your life, you felt safe, pushing yourself further against his chest without even thinking. he hungrily accepted, his grip on your hip growing tighter.
“just a joke, sir.” he promised, gulping slightly.
“a weak one.” jungkook turned lightly, so that you were now facing him. his eyes were soaking you in, as if to ask if you were alright. you offered a small nod, although he didn’t believe it.
he excused you both, weaving you through large crowds who all gawked at you secretly. you were on the arm of the most eligible bachelor in the entire country, and he looked fucking smitten.
he found a quiet corner out on one of the balconies, situating you against the wall so you were shielded from the inside world. here it was just you and him, something that brought you more comfort than you’d ever anticipated. you looked up at him; watching as lights caught in his pupils, sparkling diamonds affording him a twinkle in his eye.
he was suddenly so close to you, the proximity delicious.
“don’t let anyone speak to you like that again, y/n.” he firmly murmured, for your ear alone.
you looked down, watching the way his hand gripped your own, fingers slowly intertwining - your eyebrows pulled together in a mixture of both confusion and comfort.
“its fine, i don’t want to humour stupid people.”
his eyes narrowed, taking you in in every way. the way your dress hugged you so perfectly, the colour bouncing off of the tones of your skin. he knew you’d look pretty in it, but here you stood, the definition of beauty.
“it’s not fine. i don’t want to hear you say that again.” he scowled.
your eyes looked up to meet his once more, the intensity of his gaze swarming in your stomach.
“you can’t make everyone like me, sir, and you can’t exactly defend me all of the time.” you reasoned with a small laugh, trying to break the tension.
jungkook pushed a lone strand of hair away from your face. “anyone would be a fool to not like you.”
his admission soaked in your stomach further, and you wanted to scream into a pillow.
“and it is my job to defend you, you’re my employee, we work in the same office, y/n. i see how hard you work. i won’t let anyone undermine that.” he promised you, his eyes narrowing. “any one who tries to will be dealt with personally be me.”
you gulped.
he stepped closer, the space between you diminishing even further as the heat radiating from his body warmed you from the nipping night sky. you felt like you were basking in the sun, with his presence and warmth.
“you’re not my employee tonight.” his voice was quiet but focused. each word deliberate. the balcony’s cool air brushed your cheeks, offering you a reprise. “you’re the one i wanted beside me. i don’t take people diminishing you kindly.”
jungkook reached over, his hands gripping your hips now. his touch was gentle but firm, much like his voice when he spoke to you, a direct confirmation of his feelings without having to be explicit with you.
you wanted to be brave, to put your wants and needs out there for the first time in your life. he made you confident enough to reach for it. slowly, your hands found home on the wide expanse of his chest, faintly pressing into it for comfort.
“i don’t want to cause a fuss.” you whispered, honesty clawing at your throat no matter how uncomfortable it made you. your eyes were flickering down to the way your hands seemed so small against him, a reminder of his size in comparison to you.
“y/n,” he breathed, as though your very name was enough to drive him insane. “look at me.”
you did exactly that, returning to his gaze as though you were coming home. the room behind you was a distant hum, conversation rattling through the walls and yet all that was heard by you was the sound of jungkook’s breath, faint and quiet whilst it brushed over your face. he was so close now, your bodies pressing against one another whilst he searched your face for something. anything to indicate that this wasn’t what you wanted.
then, with the certainty of a man who knew exactly what he was going to do, jungkook lowered his head until it was hovering over yours just right, and pressed his lips against yours.
for a moment, neither of you could think.
the kiss was neither soft nor hard, a happy medium of months filled with tension and newly found feelings, lips moving in unison to the beat of realisation. it began slow, inviting, as you both explored one another. soon, he was already pulling away, as though to test your reaction.
you instantly pulled him in for another kiss, lips moving against his once more as this one showcased your equal want for him. you anchored yourself to him as your hands slipped through his hair, noses bumping and breaths mingling. once you pulled away, jungkook pressed soft pecks against you, over and over and over.
he couldn’t get enough of you, small kisses turning into longer ones, ending in giggling pecks from you. for the first time in the entirety of you knowing jungkook, he offered you a soft smile, so gentle that you knew it was reserved for you and you alone. he looked almost boyish, and the pull it tugged on your heart was beyond anything.
the sound of music and chatter slowly began seeping back into your brain, becoming more and more aware of your surroundings, just with a new addition of jungkook in your presence.
you were looking up at him with stars in your eyes and he was sure he had a whole constellation in his own, the two you pressing small kisses to each other as though you were children discovering something for the first time. he hadn’t felt like this in years, if ever - carefree, without a thought, just mere joy.
a light cough forced you both out of your trance, the two of you being pulled back into reality as jimin stood, leaning against the balcony door with a cheeky smirk.
“oh, how i hate to break you two lovebirds apart but your presence is needed.” he sang, his teasing tone making jungkook grimace.
your cheeks were flushed pink, peering up at him for a moment before all but hiding your face into jungkook’s chest with a light groan, embarrassed at being caught. he felt his ego inflate at the sight of you seeking his protection.
jungkook took your hand, planting a little kiss before leading you back inside, fingers intertwined with a small sigh at being forced to assimilate once more. he wanted nothing more than to stay outside and smother you in kisses.
the rest of the night was spent with stolen glances, and sneaky kisses. at one point, you were on your way to the bathroom to check your hair and makeup only to be ambushed by him, your back against a hidden corner as he kisses you harshly. it was like a switch had turned on for both of you, and now you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.
now, you both sat in the back of his car as you were driven home. you were all but perched onto his lap, your hands tugging on his hair whilst your dress sat pushed up your thighs, jungkook’s grip on them harsh and purposeful. your lips moved in unison, tongues clashing whilst little whimpers were leaving your mouth. he couldn’t get enough of you, and it was like everything had finally come to ahead.
you had tried to stay composed at first, truly. the two of you had sat in silence, stealing glimpses at one another whilst trying to behave. you weren’t sure how it happened, maybe a twist of his hand on your thigh, or a tug of his suit jacket from you, but here you sat, straddling his lap whilst making out.
the car slowly came to a stop outside of your home, making him groan quietly against your lips as you began pulling yourself away. whilst composing yourself, you both left the car, jungkook walking you up the stairs to your home.
you turned to face him, his hooded eyes looking down at you whilst you shyly tucked a lone piece of hair behind your ear. “thank you for tonight, i had so much fun.”
“good.” he murmured, voice quiet, reserved for you. he reached over to cup your cheek, watching as you leaned into his touch with ease. “you shouldn’t look at me like that.”
“like what?” you whispered back at him, eyes drooping.
his thumb reached over to your lip, tracing it gently. “like you want me to ruin you.”
you closed your eyes for a moment, nuzzling further into the hand that cupped your face, whilst he watched. your lips parted, a shaky exhale leaving you. “because i do..”
jungkook was a smart man. he had spent his entire life making sure that every decision he ever made was meticulously thought out, only ever to benefit him, only ever to favour him. he’d never acted on impulse and felt no reason to, everything was best done when thought about properly.
fuck it, he thought.
within minutes, you were both pressed against one another inside your apartment, your back on your bed whilst jungkook hovered over you, your dress on the floor, leaving you in your lacy underwear. jungkook was shirtless, slacks still on whilst his hands explored your body, touching, pulling, spanking.
your body was arching into his touch, moaning into his mouth whilst jungkook held you tightly. his hips were grinding into your own almost harshly, the heat of the moment clouding each other’s brains. he had imagined you in this very position for months upon months, finally having you underneath him moaning his name, just like he wanted.
your bra and panties were easily discarded to the floor, with his own slacks following as you pulled on his hair. you were both rushing, desperate to hit a climax you’d both been yearning for, as you all but ripped his boxers off.
“want you inside.” you shakily begged him, making him hiss as his large cock hit his stomach, both thick in girth and long in length. your mouth all but watered as you pumped him up and down, hips lifting.
he closed his eyes, the feel of your smaller hand pumping him shakily was enough to have that budding feeling grow in his stomach already. he lined himself, the lack of condom something neither of you particularly cared about, as he began pushing into you.
you both moaned out loudly, eyes closing tightly. your breathing grew erratic, the lack of foreplay was making it a much tighter fit but the burn felt delicious. you were growing addicted to a feeling that had just become new to you, but once he was fully in, you knew you could never live without this again.
“fuck, baby, you’re so tight.” he hissed, caging you in with his arms as they curled around you. you were a whimpering mess, fingers clawing at his chest and leaving marks as he began to thrust.
jungkook had no intention of being gentle with you as he thrusted in and out, making sure you felt every single inch as he fucked you.
the sound of skin slapping against skin filled your quiet house, your bed hitting your wall harshly. he spanked your ass as you withered, tears curling around your lashes.
“feels so big.” you slurred.
“yeah? feel that?” he hissed on top of you, pushing your hand onto your own stomach so you could feel the slight bulge beginning to form.
you nodded, whilst tears began to slip from your eyes. it was at that moment jungkook realised how badly he wanted to see you sob over his cock, to cry for more, beg for it even.
he picked up the pace, eyes trained on your face as though you were the most magnificent thing he’d ever seen. he planted hot kisses all over your jaw, sucking harshly down your neck, leaving large, visible bruises.
“you’re mine. all fucking mine, you hear me? this pussy belongs to me.” he growled, forcing you to lose your breath with every word and every brutal thrust.
your hips lifted, matching his thrusts as you nodded. it wasn’t enough for jungkook, who pushed your face to face him properly, wanting to hear you verbalise it.
“a-all yours, sir, promise.” you whimpered, through a fucked out sob which had him groaning loudly.
he picked your hips up from the bed, fucking you at an angle that forced you to take each and every bit of his length. his pounding was enough to have your brain completely shut down, whilst you scratched his arms up and down, legs shaking.
after a few moments, he was breathing heavily, picking you up entirely so your positions were flipped. he sat you down on his lap, easing you back onto his cock in a completely different way, your back arching whilst he clutched you tightly to his own body.
“come on baby, up and down, just like that.”
you were bouncing on him like you were yearning for his approval, and he was more than happy to give it, landing harsh spanks against your ass. “fuck, jungkook.” you hissed, falling over so your head fell onto his shoulder. “right there, god.”
he was fucking back into you whilst you slumped against him, making him let out an airy little laugh. “my girl, hm. always work so hard for me, letting me take care of you just like you deserve.”
the way he was cooing down at you had an air of condescension around it, and it was driving you insane. you knew he was dominant, knew he had an air of control in every single thing he touched, and here he was proving you correct. driving his cock in and out of you, chasing both of your orgasms whilst making sure he ruined you entirely for anyone else. he didn’t want you to ever think of another man again, wanted to corrupt your brain forever so all you could think about was him.
he wanted to break you exactly how you had broken him without even knowing.
“i’m so close, fuck, please don’t stop.” you all but begged him once he began circling your clit harshly.
he huffed, chest tight and sore from your previous assault whilst he picked up the pace. “look at me, wanna see you cum on my cock like a good girl.”
his words made your eyes connect with his. it was at that moment your orgasm hit like a freight train, your muscles seizing up as you clenched around his too large cock. you all but screamed out his name, tears streaming down your face.
jungkook felt himself hit his peak at the same time, tensing as he shot his hot cum deep inside you with a harsh grunt, grinding himself against you. he leaned down to capture your lips, despite you both being entirely breathless, tongues fighting one another whilst you both moved your hips in a bid to ride your high.
you collapsed in his arms completely once you managed to fully pull away from his lips, your eyes closing. he breathed through his nose as his chest rose and fell, clutching you against him.
the two of you were catching your breath, whilst holding one another tightly, the air still remaining charged despite the both of you finally managing to hit a moment of relief. months of tension, months of need and want, all coming to ahead within the comfort of your own bed.
you watched as jungkook got up, his knees pushing into the bed as he hovered over you. his fingers began caressing your face, pushing your messy hair away from your face. “you okay, baby?”
you nodded, making him tut lightly. a small grin formed on your face. “mhm; feel good.”
jungkook couldn’t help but match you with your smile, dropping his head down to capture you in a small kiss. you were equally as receptive, the two of you sharing quiet laughs whilst holding one another, sharing teasing touches. he wasn’t your superior and you weren’t his employee. you were just jungkook and y/n, both enamoured with one another and finally addressing it, finally being aware and actually doing something about it.
for the first time in years, you felt like you were doing something for yourself and you felt alive.
—
waking up the next morning, the plush of your bedding alongside the stream of light seeping through was nothing short of pure comfort. there was a soreness inbetween your legs that reminded you instantly of the way you were ravished last night, memories flooding back into your brain. the gala, stolen touches, jungkook defending you, and then making love to you all night - you’d even woken up multiple times last night so you could go more rounds.
you smiled into your pillow, reaching over beside you only to see the space beside you was empty. your eyebrows furrowed as you sat up, pulling up the blanket over your body. his clothes weren’t discarded on your floor anymore, each article of clothing suspiciously missing despite having acted as decoration all night.
your heart sank. had he left? you couldn’t imagine he would do so without letting you know, but it was silent. you could hear hushed voices in the living room, making you exhale softly in relief once you realised he was just elsewhere.
you pulled on a night gown, tying it around your waist before padding over to see what he was doing.
jungkook stood, suit back on, hair pushed back whilst he talked on the phone. your eyes wandered over his figure, his shoulders wide, tatted hand on view whilst you hungrily took him in. your eyebrows furrowed once more as you listened to him.
“no…tell them to isolate the servers immediately, i’ll be there within the hour.” he sighed, visibly stressed.
a pause. “yeah, i know. i’ll handle this personally, taehyung, just make sure no one gets in or out of the servers for now.”
you stayed where you were, no longer basking in the warmth you had woken up in.
once he ended the phone call and turned around, your eyes met instantly. you watched as his shoulders slumped slightly, almost relieved to merely see you after such a stressful moment. he stepped over to you, until he was in front of you and cupping your face warmly
“morning.” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “did i wake you?”
you shook your head, holding his wrists. “no, just noticed you were gone.”
“crisis at the office.” he murmured calmly. always the picture of professionalism, completely and entirely impassive. “the breech has grown into other divisions, and we have an emergency team sorting it now.”
for some reason, having jungkook so cold, discussing work in a space where you’d been so intimate, and entirely yourselves, felt jarring. odd, even.
“oh.” you nodded. “that’s..yeah, that’s important.”
he frowned at your tone slightly, a crack of humanity slipping through. he let it go, however. “i didn’t want to drag you into it this morning, you were sleeping so peacefully. take your time coming in today, okay, or just rest. i’m already heading in late.”
you nodded again. “okay.”
the word was small. too small.
he studied you for a beat longer, an uncharacteristic tone of uncertainty in the way he explored your face. “you okay?”
you forced a small smile. “just tired.”
he hesitated - long enough for you to question whether he could see right through you, but the buzz of his phone completely broke him away. his hands dropped from your face, making him exhale as he read the messages coming through.
“right, i need to go.” he turned to you, pressing another fleeting kiss to your head before grabbing his things. “get some rest, alright?”
you nodded, though your throat felt tight. he lingered by your door, wanting to say something, mouth opening slightly before he turned, leaving. his last look towards you felt conflicted but careful, as though he was grappling something internal.
the click of the door felt too loud.
you sat on your couch for a moment, staring into space as you gathered your emotions. your chest was aching and you knew you were being ridiculous, entirely silly, and yet the pain remained present.
jungkook hadn’t said anything wrong, or even done anything. but he hadn’t said anything about last night either, not even a comment, an acknowledgement, a recognition. you’d spent hours upon hours intertwined with him, the two of you expressing your feelings through your bodies, through touches and orgasms, explicit pleasure.
the silence between the reality and truth of clear possibility that he probably didn’t feel the way you did for him felt grounding in the most violent of ways. every comment your parents and sister had ever made about you not being good enough came to the surface, the reality that you were invisible even in moments like this.
you wanted to be seen, to matter and to be heard - you thought he knew that. thought he had noticed. last night, every touch was a confession, a touch purposefully made. this morning? he was jeon jungkook, ceo of your division, a stark reminder of his persona.
and so, here you sat with teary eyes, completely unsure if the night you’d shared that changed everything for you, meant anything to him at all.
within the next hour, you were showered and put together, the perfect vision of an employee ready for a hard day at work. you didn’t look like someone who was experiencing any supposed emotional turmoil, and that’s what you were used to - you didn’t want anyone to see you. you were going to be invisible.
you wanted to rid yourself of your thoughts, to immerse yourself into your work like it was the only thing that mattered and that was exactly what you did. you showed up, sat at your desk in jungkook’s office despite him being absent, and worked like you usually did. your coworkers were whispering about the breech, talking about the severity of the matter whilst you operated in silence, keeping to yourself.
jungkook was everywhere and nowhere. you caught glimpses of him, walking into meetings, and walking out. he was the vision of power, stone cold and harsh as he barked orders, whilst sauntering into other rooms. he was hands on, unlike other ceos from different companies, he was active in getting to the bottom of the issue himself.
his jaw was tense, and he’d made eye contact with you a few times, but his expression didn’t change. he remained stoic, tight and unreadable - only adding to the harsh pang in your chest. at one point, you stopped looking up whenever you’d hear him leave a room. you couldn’t stomach the racing of your thoughts.
during your lunch break, you sat in the canteen, quietly listening to yejin gush about her night with yoongi, and the sweet morning they’d shared. how he had taken her to work, captured her in kisses at every chance he got at work, even cornered her in jimin’s office much to the dismay of the younger man. each word felt like a stab to your heart but you weren’t willing to share it, your poor friend non the wiser.
“what about you and jungkook?” she excitedly asked, tilting her head.
you shuffled your food around your plate. “oh..nothing. don’t worry.”
yejin looked at you confused until you pushed her for more details in a bid to change the subject. she happily obliged, sharing more and more of the things yoongi had done to accommodate her, and it acted as a reminder of all of the things jungkook had not.
you told yourself it was fine, but at this point, you had dug yourself so deeply in a ditch of your own insecurity, you had already begun mourning something you weren’t sure you ever even had.
by the time the day was done, you gathered your things, coat on and bag slung over your shoulder. you headed out of jungkook’s office, noticing him walking towards your direction alongside multiple shareholders, his eyes completely trained on you. it looked like he was reaching for you, just for a moment, but you broke the eye contact, walking past him completely. it wasn’t like you guys could talk anyway, but the confusion pulling at his features wasn’t caught by you - you were too busy protecting yourself in your bubble of invisibility.
soon, you had completed the journey home and you were sat on your couch, dressed in an old, worn through t-shirt and shorts. you nibbled on ice cream whilst watching a random sitcom, trying to distract your brain from the thump in your heart, a constant lodge stuck in your throat. you didn’t want to feel this way, but when it had been a norm for over two decades of your life, it was hard. for the first time in forever, jungkook made you feel seen, only for you to be reminded that it was all in your stupid brain.
you hated how often you were checking your phone, desperate for a message, an inkling he was thinking of you. you felt so selfish. he was going through something massive at work, you couldn’t expect to be at the forefront, or even occupy his brain whatsoever.
yet, the horrible beast deep in your stomach was desperate to be noticed. you just wanted to be seen, just once.
suddenly, a ping ran through your house, a notification from your phone making you gasp. the hope completely deflated once you realise it was a company wide email addressing the data breach, and assuring everyone that it was now not only under control, but resolved. you wanted to be happy, but instead, you stared at the end of the message, seeing jungkook’s name beside the other 6 ceo’s. your heart clenched.
the next few hours were spent that way, a horrible gnawing feeling settling in your insides whilst you tried to rid your brain of any thought of him. he didn’t want you. that was okay. you’d live. the embarrassment of it being more for you was suffocating, but you’d get past this. you would ask to be transferred to another department, to keep the professionalism alive, to make sure this didn’t interfere with your work. you were a woman who excelled with numbers, so you were sure you had a presence ready elsewhere.
your thoughts were cut short by a harsh knock on your front door.
you stilled for a moment, eyebrows furrowing. it was late, 10pm at this point, as you walked over to your door, opening it up in confusion.
jungkook stood, tie half undone, hair messy and gaze lidded. your lips parted in shock, the two of you stood, watching one another.
you shuffled from foot to foot nervously. the hesitation in your stance had him aching from top to bottom - you looked so small, as though you were trying to fit yourself in a box that felt too tiny. he didn’t look like jeon jungkook, ceo of the security division, cold and direct. he looked human, heartbreakingly so, with a gaze focused entirely on you.
“can i come in?” he quietly asked
he noticed the uncertainty in your face, his heart breaking further. you slowly nodded after a few moments, moving to the side to let him in. he did exactly that.
you both stood in silent; unsure of what to say.
he was stood in the middle of your living room, full of creams and warm browns, completely misplaced. he looked tired, not in the sleepy way, but a broken exhaustion you couldn’t quite place. “i didn’t know if you’d still be awake.”
“couldn’t sleep.” you whispered back, scared to speak any louder.
he nodded once. he turned to face you, jaw clenched. “i should have called. i know that.”
you said nothing, looking away from his face.
“i wanted to, a million times.”
still, you said nothing. he sighed, running a hand through his hair before meeting your gaze.
“you barely looked at me today.” he admitted in a small voice. this caught your attention - he’d never sounded like that before.
caught off guard, you responded. “you were busy.”
“i’m always busy.” he frustratingly shook his head. “you looked straight through me..you’ve never done that before.”
you blinked, unsure of what to do or say. you wanted to cry, to laugh in his face, to scream and tell him to get out, to beg him to close the gap and finally hold you.
“what am i supposed to do, jungkook? act like last night didn’t happen, pretend like any of this is normal?”
his shoulders dropped at your words, the tension seeping out of him. “is that what this is, y/n? you think it didn’t mean anything to me?”
you swallowed. “i don’t know what to think.”
there was a long pause. you were both just staring at each other, neither of you sure of what to say. you stemmed from a place of insecurity, an old friend that had created a hole deep inside your brain. he stemmed from a place of uncertainty - he’d not been with a woman in over a decade, operating on flings and non committed situationships. he’d never felt this way, he wasn’t sure what he was doing or how it was supposed to be done.
he took a step closer to you. “i messed up this morning. i know that.” he admitted through a deep breath. “i shouldn’t have left like that, but the breach, we’ve had press in and out of the building, meetings, hr - i went into that mode where i stop feeling anything.” he exhaled through his nose. “but it’s not fair to you, especially after last night.”
“it’s fine.” you whispered.
“don’t say that.” he shook his head.
you looked up. tears were brimming your lash line. “why?”
“because it’s not fine.” he was stepping closer and closer. “you think i didn’t notice the way you looked at me this morning? i did, i just..i don’t know how to do this, don’t know how to fix it without making it worse.”
you shifted uncomfortably. “you didn’t need to fix anything.”
his face contorted. it was like your words were causing him physical pain. “that’s not true. we both know that.”
you said nothing, unsure of what to say.
“today was fucking hell.” he confessed. “ten back to back meetings with shareholders, who all have a million opinions on shit they know nothing about. press in and out, trying to get statements and the only thing i can think about is you, y/n. just you.” he wheezed out. “how i left you this morning. how you looked when i walked out of that door.”
you looked down at your hands whilst your lip began trembling. he was seeing you, but at what cost?
“you were so small, and so quiet.” he broke. “i hate the fact that i put that look on your face.”
you felt your throat tighten. “you didn’t.” you sniffled quietly. you could hardly blame him for your own deep rooted insecurities.
“i did.” he firmly shook his head, urging you to meet his gaze. “and i’m going crazy thinking about it. i know i’m a cold, selfish fucking bastard but i need you to hear me. i don’t show up at people’s door at 10pm, i don’t chase anyone, i don’t do this shit.”
he sighed, hands running through his hair desperately. “but it’s you, y/n. fuck. it’s always gonna be you, i can’t stomach knowing i’ve made you feel like this, like you’re not the single thought in my brain day in and day out. like i haven’t been thinking about you since that first meeting, or wanting you, needing you.”
you were blinking back tears. you wanted to believe him so badly, but the horrible demons in your body were telling you to look the other way.
“it’s hard to believe you when it feels like i’m just another part of your schedule.”
his expression softened immediately, desperation growing through his eyes.
“you’re not on my schedule,” he shook his head. “you’re literally what ruins it.”
you laughed, wet and broken. “hardly any better.”
“you’re important to me, y/n, and i need you to see that. more important than any stupid fucking work thing.”
the room went quiet again. you could hear his breathing, shallow, uneven - your own heartbeat pounding in your ears.
“say something. please.” he whispered.
you looked up, tears about to fall. “you hurt me.”
he flinched visibly, your words hitting him exactly where they hurt.
“i know.” he was walking closer to you now, breaking the gap of what was appropriate. “and i fucking hate myself for it.”
you wanted to step back, hide in your comfort zone where you were able to be invisible, to lick your wounds and heal where you felt safe. instead, you peered up.
“i just want you to see me.” you admitted, voice breaking.
jungkook closed the gap between you, fingers reaching down to cup your cheeks gently, so you wouldn’t be startled. he leaned down, so your foreheads were touching, eyes exploring yours desperately.
“i see you. i see all of you, baby, every inch. since the day i first saw you, i don’t know how to look at you without wanting everything with you.” he breathed.
you exhaled shakily.
“i woke up this morning and you were sleeping so peacefully, you looked so pretty, i swear i can’t breathe just thinking about it. knew that if i stayed, i wouldn’t be able to stop touching you, holding you, and then taehyung called.” he closed his eyes for a moment. “i convinced myself that you’d understand..that you knew last night meant more to me than you could ever comprehend but i know now that i wasn’t clear enough.”
a lone tear began trickling down your face.
“and it’s my fault, y/n. this is my mistake to fix, and i will. i’m going to prove it to you.” he promised, wiping your tear, only for more to begin falling. “i can’t lose you, not when i just got you. not over a stupid, fucking misunderstanding because i don’t know how to say what i feel.”
“you don’t have to say..things right, jungkook. but you do need to speak, and communicate with me. i need to be able to see it, or hear it from you.” you admitted and it felt like you were bearing your soul to the world. this vulnerability felt too jarring, too open.
“yes i do.” he instantly rebutted with a shake of his head. “you deserve to be told exactly what you mean to me. you’re the only part of my day that feels like it’s mine.”
your chest tightened, tears beginning to stream with ease. he was wiping them away, your bodies pressed against each other.
jungkook soothed you quietly, his large body cocooning you into his arms. your own hands slowly slid up his chest as you sniffled, able to fight the wandering of your brain now that it had been silenced with jungkook’s open admission of his feelings.
“now what?” you shakily asked, trying hard to keep your emotions at bay. “i don’t think i can stomach this again, jungkook. i-i know it’s selfish of me, but i just can’t.”
“you don’t have to because i won’t let you. i promise you, y/n, never again.” he murmured, all but pleading.
your bottom lip trembled whilst his thumb gently caught it, tracing.
“you said you wanna be seen-“ he swallowed thickly. “then look at me. i see you, i fucking see you baby. i don’t want this to be something we hide behind office doors or pretend it’s any smaller than it actually is. we’re doing this properly, you hear me?”
your breath hitched. “what do you mean?”
his hands moved down to your hips, angling them so you truly were properly pressed into him, his arms caging you into his body so you felt protected.
“i mean i want you to be mine. properly.” his voice was steady. “no more guessing, no more overthinking - we’re doing this properly. i’ll handle hr tomorrow myself, so they know what’s going on, so they know i’m serious about this.” he nodded. “but i need you to say yes, y/n. tell me you want this too, i belong to you already i just..i need to know if you belong to me too.”
you were silent, large eyes milky with tears whilst your lips trembled. he watched as you bit down on them as a bid to hold back your cries, whilst clutching his now creased white shirt in your hands like a lifeline.
“say something, please.” he begged, sounding like a whimper. “please say i haven’t already lost you.”
you looked up, eyes connecting. “you haven’t.” you sniffled, with a shake of your head.
you watched as his shoulders relaxed, his head dropping to meet yours once more. his nose nuzzled into your own.
“yeah? let me prove this to you baby. no walls, no masks. just me and you.”
you couldn’t look away from him, the sincerity in his eyes was the biggest answer you could have ever asked for, and by the time he was dipping down towards your lips, you found yourself standing on your tip toes, pressing your own to his.
this kiss was unlike any of the ones you shared yesterday. this was filled with a promise of tomorrow, genuine sincerity, hope. this was your future locked in by sweet touches, a warmth you had longed for beyond the past 24 hours - something you’d been searching for your entire life.
jungkook kissed you in a way where he wanted to burn the memory of his feelings for you into your mouth. he was silencing every emotion in your head whilst leading you back into your bedroom, picking you up and placing you gently on your bed.
you let him slowly discard your clothes, whilst you did the same with his own, neither of you speaking but both of you feeling genuine hope for one another. today had been torture, but it was coming to a close with an understanding shared between you.
you watched as he peeled your underwear off of you, grunts of appreciation leaving his lips at the sight of his girl so ready underneath him. he maintained eye contact as he lowered himself so his nose brushed against the hood of your clit, tongue tasting you.
he let out a moan of appreciation. “taste so sweet.”
you watched as he devoured you, tongue going from light licks to harsh sucks, making love to your pussy with his mouth; just like you deserved. within seconds, he was prodding your instance with his fingers, slowly inserting and then pumping.
“jungkook, fuck.” you moaned out, the feeling of fullness battling your feeling of anticipation for later, knowing you were about to be all but ravished by him.
his tongue worked its magic against you, tasting and sucking whilst you let out little noises that had him rolling his head to the back of his head.
“fuck baby, you’ve been holding out on me.” he hissed as he pulled away, watching the way your pussy clenched against his fingers, as he inserted another.
you whimpered loudly at his words, hips lifting, begging for more.
he complied, with an airy laugh, going back to sucking your clit with ease. within a few seconds, the sensation of two fingers pumping harshly whilst his nose brushed your clit, his tongue sliding anywhere it could, had you cumming hard.
he groaned his appreciation into you, not easing up for a single minute as he rode out your high as much as he could, making sure you felt every single thing.
once your legs were shaking, he rose, sucking on his fingers whilst the bottom half of his face bore evidence of your slick, making you clench involuntarily around nothing.
“need you inside me.” you whimpered up at him, yanking him back down so he was hovering over you. you wanted to feel him pressed down, all of his weight on you like yesterday - you needed to feel grounded by him.
it was like he could read your mind, doing exactly that whilst he teased your entrance with his too big cock.
“i’m here baby. you feel that?” he hissed, as he eased himself into you, the stretch of his fingers nothing compared to the way his cock was bullying your poor pussy.
the loud moan you let out was utterly sinful, your big eyes shutting whilst your fingers dug into his shoulders. “jungkook, fuck.”
by the time he was fully inside, you were both shaking. this was completely different to last night - he felt bigger, you felt tighter. it was the climax of both of your days, all of the emotions that had run through you. ranging from your insecurities, the harsh assured thoughts that had plagued you the second you convinced yourself he didn’t want you and the confusion he had felt in the aftermath; unsure of how to navigate something so precious, so important to him.
once he began thrusting, your brain shut down.
jungkook wasn’t being gentle by any means. he wanted you to feel every inch of him, every single bit of his length against your sensitive walls.
“do you feel that, sweet girl? this little pussy was made for my cock, made to be fucking broken by me.” he hissed, hands on your hips as he began drilling into you. “because we’re meant to be together. i’m going to fuck every doubt out of you, so you know how much i love you.”
you let out a noise, half whimper half moan, loud enough you knew your neighbours would complain heartily in the morning. his words were everything you needed in that moment, your brain completely collapsing, not allowing for anything other than jungkook to play around the crevices of your head.
“love you so bad, want this forever.” you confessed, fingers digging into his forearms.
he threw his head back at your words. it was like you’d just exposed him to his personal brand of kryptonite, saying the exact thing that would ruin him inside and out.
“yeah? want me forever, baby?” he hissed, feeling himself lean down into a different position. now he was caging you in, legs high on his waist, arms trapping your head, head against you. “i’ll give you forever. get you a ring for your pretty finger, hm? you’d like that? make you my gorgeous wife i get to come home to every single day?”
his words were churning in your head, in the most obscene way, as you felt your lip tremble from sheer emotion. your eyes were filling up rapidly as you let out a broken noise, no one had ever expressed how badly they wanted you before.
“want that so badly.” you whimpered, an admission straight from your soul and jungkook could see. he could fucking see you.
“good. because you’re mine, y/n, forever. you’re all mine, everything about you. your brain, your lips, your little pussy, mine, mine, mine.” with each his word, he thrusted deeply so he’d ingrain it into you. you nodded heartily. “and you’re mine..” you almost begged, eyes opening up to stare up at him.
he nearly came right then and there, your watery eyes, so earnest and hopeful as though he hadn't belonged to you long before you ever even realised.
“oh sweet girl.” he cooed, though his thrusting felt so mean. “i’m all yours, been yours the day you saw me.” he promised, leaning down to kiss your nose. “i’m gonna give you everything you want, gonna get you a house, give you children that look like us, i’ll give you a whole fucking floor at work dedicated to you, you hear me? my y/n.”
his words were too much for you, your brain couldn’t handle it as your orgasm suddenly rushed through every inch of your body, hips lifting with shaking hands. you let out a loud sob whilst he fucked you through your high, before following your actions and spilling his hot cum inside of you.
the two of you moaned whilst sharing hot kisses, his shallow thrusts pushing his cum further into you, a primal part of both of your brains hoping it would stick.
by the time he was done, you were both shaking out of oversensitivity, making him breathe slowly through his nose. he collapsed on top of you, holding his weight so he wouldn’t crush you despite knowing you liked the feel of him.
“you okay?” he murmured gently, a juxtaposition to how he had treated your poor pussy mere minutes ago.
you nodded, letting out a little mewl as he pulled out of you. the sudden emptiness was jarring at best, and he could already see the way you were clenching for more.
his fingers leaned down your body, noticing the way his cum was quickly slipping out of you - he had cum so much and the thought of wasting it, frustrated him.
“gotta keep it inside, baby.” he whispered, eyes meeting yours as he fingered it back in.
it was positively sinful, watching your big, broad man push his cum back inside as though it was crucial, as though he was begging for it to sit deep. you weren’t above admitting how badly it turned you on.
by the time he was done, you were orgasming again, hips lifting and legs shaking. the ego boost it offered him was above anything he could have ever achieved at work.
the two of you then laid beside one another, your hands clutching his chest, whilst he pulled you in so you were flush against him. he pressed gentle kisses to your cheeks, your nose and head, despite knowing you felt sleepy.
“did you really mean it?” you whispered out suddenly.
jungkook could see it now; plain as day. the war behind your eyes. it wasn’t that you didn’t believe him, or that his words didn’t hold merit, but you genuinely, sincerely, weren’t sure if it would happen - if it was a heat of the moment that charged him or if it was a promise. the insecurities that laid deep in your heart were visible to him and it broke him to see.
he tucked a strand of hair behind your ears, before pressing a gentle kiss to both of your eyes.
“i love you.” he admitted, openly, clearly. “and i’m not shying away from it. i want the world to know you, i wanna put a big, diamond ring on your finger and show you off to anyone i can find. you’re it for me baby, and i won’t pretend like i won’t make mistakes again, i still don’t really know how to do this.” he nervously admitted, whilst you peered up at him. “but you’re my number one priority, and i’ll spend the rest of my life reminding you each and every day.”
through teary eyes and soft smiles exchanged, you nodded, finally at peace with the thump in your heart.
—
waking up the next morning, the first thing you noticed was the quiet. not the heavy kind that followed a tough night, or one that felt charged with unspoken emotion, but genuine, and gentle quiet. a feeling you truly weren’t accustomed to.
warm sunlight spread against your naked limbs whilst you curled into the body beside you, nuzzling your face into a broad chest whilst too large biceps wrapped around you. this was the definition of comfort.
you turned slightly, your head peering up so you could admire the sleeping man who had professed his love so deeply to you. the messy hair, the faint crease between his brow, he too was sporting a look of relaxation you had never seen from him before, as though the stress on his shoulders had entirely been lifted. he looked gentle.
he stirred, hips involuntarily grinding into yours. “you’re staring.”
you grinned, hiding your face in his neck again. “yeah, well, you talk in your sleep so.”
his eyes snapped open, peering down at you humorously. “what’d i say?”
“hmm, something about spreadsheets.” you murmured, peering up at him again. “and me.”
“checks out.” he grinned wide. “my two favourite things.”
you were giggling against his body and he could have sworn it was his new favourite sound. he wanted to loop it on his phone and listen to it forever, clutching you tightly with a soft hum.
the sound of his phone broke the silence, the two of you freezing for a moment. he groaned, reaching for it.
you grabbed his wrist nervously. as if to ask him not to answer it.
he looked down at you with a frown. “i have to, baby. namjoon’s calling, they’ve started early.” he sighed.
you let your wrist skip with an equal frown as you listened to him tell them he’d be on his way soon, to give him some time and what not. unlike yesterday, his eyes remained soft as they watched you, despite him visibly being in ceo mode - it was like this was simply just for you.
once he ended the call and tossed his phone somewhere, he turned to you. “come in with me?”
you blinked. “huh?”
“to work. come with me, baby. i meant what i said last night.” he tucked his hand below your chin. “i’m not hiding this. not hiding you, i wanna do this properly.”
your natural born instinct was to lift your shoulders, and nibble on your lip, the urge to retreat and save yourself from any possible pain. but the way he was looking at you, so earnest, so clearly and visibly in love with you had you breathing out a small “okay”.
and so you went.
after he had eaten you out once more, and fucked you harshly in the shower, it was a wonder how you’d managed to even walk into the office that day. but you did, jungkook’s hand tightly clasping your own as though he was sending a message to each and every single person around him - from the employees in his division, straight through the company, to hoseok’s department which sat on the far end of the building.
the whispers had started the second you’d walked in, and your normal plan to stay invisible was completely thrown out the window. you felt entirely soothed when he had leaned down with a soft kiss to your head, whispering. “let them stare sweet girl. they’ll get used to it soon.”
he led you straight to hoseok’s office, which sat within view. he walked in, no glances exchanged. he noticed your interlocked hands and his eyebrows shot up, visibly shocked at jungkook so openly having someone beside him.
“morning.” he politely murmured. “i need to log a personal matter for transparency.”
“personal matter?” hobi grinned, almost excited as he pushed for more details. the sight made you blush.
“i’m formally declaring my relationship with y/n, so please send the paperwork over to my office and conduct anything you need to now.” he said, as though it was the easiest thing in the world.
there was a beat of silence, your cheeks heating up bright red even further.
“well, that’s certainly transparent.” hobi laughed, standing up and gathering some things. “but it’s fine, i don’t need to log anything unless your relationship goes further.”
“i’m planning on proposing soon, so i’d like it logged.” jungkook firmly pushed, making you look up at him.
with eyes of utter awe and wonder, jungkook nearly collapsed at the mere sight of you. you looked so hopeful, as though you were finally realising this was real.
there was no hesitation in his voice or demeanour. he really wanted to emphasise to you how real this was, and you began biting on your bottom lip to save you from any impending emotions, clutching his hand even tighter.
“i’ll sort out the logistics.” hobi eventually said, a soft smile on his face as he watched his younger friend act smitten with you. you had no idea how much of a rarity the sight was. “but, congratulations are in order first. i’m happy you’ve both found one another.”
his words rang in your head as you both now sat in your shared office. you were all but perched on his lap whilst he typed away, a softness to his features you’d never seen in this setting before. he was holding you because he had asked, as though the distance of your two desks was simply too much and he wanted to ground himself in you just for a moment.
your eyes met with his as he leaned back in his seat, and the soft smile he awarded you was unlike anything you’d ever felt before.
for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel invisible.
on the outside looking in, you had the ultimate dream life. you were pretty, with luscious hair and big eyes, a smile that was talked about constantly in your absence. you were popular, with every single person in your vicinity naturally drawn to you. most importantly? you were warmth defined. you were sweet and kind, not just to those in your circle, but to anyone and everyone. you had it all, or so it seemed.
the one problem? you were empty. you had parents who were shallow and absent, checking in once every few months out of mere obligation. you were failing your physics class, despite putting the work in and staying up to revise constantly. you had what felt like a million responsibilities on your shoulders, your job, your apartment, your education. no one was privy to these hiccups in your life, they were a little secret held close to your heart and to your most trusted friends whilst everyone fantasised what it would be like to be you for a day. if only they knew how sad you were.
to the external world, you were perfection bottled. this didn’t minimise the hole you felt in your chest.
it also brought you to your current predicament, currently in your professor’s classroom 10 minutes before your class was about to begin. mr jofferey was a pompous man, half misogyny and the other half shallow ego - you despised him, and you hated the fact you were the only girl in his class. it meant picking on you was that much easier, and now? he had failed you on your last module, despite the effort you’d put into your research.
“sir, i’m begging. a remark, a reread, anything.” you all but pleaded as you rounded his desk with your bag slung over your shoulders.
his response was a roll of his eyes, his glasses tipped down. “what would be the point? you failed, y/n. no doubt spent your time shopping or whatever it is you girls tend to do.”
your eyes narrowed. “i spent three straight nights in the library, sir.”
to this, he rolled his eyes again. “even if that were true, i don’t see what the fuss is. i personally don’t believe you have what it takes to be a part of this course, and if it were up to me you’d already be kicked out. alas, that choice is yours and yours alone.” he dismissively said, despite your heart dropping to your stomach.
this year had been difficult for you. you’d dealt with a horrible breakup, your ex being potentially the worst man ever to be born, whilst your parents had managed to win awards for being the worst guardians known to man. all that, combined with the stress of being a young woman merely existing meant your grades had slipped - physics being the hardest.
“mr jofferey, i’m not leaving.” you firmly hissed. you knew he was punishing you for your presence as opposed to your work and it was suffocating. “i’m happy to rework my project, i’m just asking you to give me a chance.”
he narrowed his eyes at you, before tipping his head over to the person who had just walked into his class, despite being early.
“ah, here’s an example of intelligence for you miss l/n.” he condescendingly clapped his hands once. “jungkook has managed to excel in all of his projects, i see that boy in the library at every hour of the day.”
you could feel a sting in your eyes whilst you desperately tried to hold back tears from the way the older man was treating you. you peered over to the person he was talking about, and for a moment, you felt your head stop racing. a complete and utter silence.
tall and broad, jeon jungkook stood completely unaware of what he had just walked into. the tops of his cheeks were dusted pink in a light blush, and his glasses slipped down his nose slightly, causing him to push them up. big eyes were hidden behind frames but the plumpness of his lips, the cute nature of his face - it struck you silent. was he knew? you’d not heard anyone mention a jungkook before?
“now, i’m going to top up my coffee before our class begins. i’d suggest you take a leaf out of jungkook’s book and begin preparing early for the lesson, y/n.” you heard your professor grumble, before leaving the room.
you flinched at the sound of the door shutting hard, before composing yourself. you wiped your eyes a little, eyes flicking up to meet that of the tall boy who was facing you. nervously, you shifted from foot to foot.
“he’s a prick.” you murmured, breaking the silence as you felt slightly uncomfortable in the presence of someone so attractive, at a moment of utter vulnerability.
jungkook didn’t respond, simply nodded slightly before pulling out his laptop and his supplies. you could feel your eyes stinging once more as embarrassment flooded you, rushing over to your seat on the other side of the room, doing the same. you slid into your seat, shoulders slumped and lip slightly pouted.
what were you going to do? now that you’d failed this project, this meant you’d have to get a high grade in your final assignment, which would be announced today. not that it was impossible, but your professor was clearly picking on you, bullying you because he didn’t want a girl in his classroom. would you be kicked out if you failed? would you then have to be embarrassed for the rest of your life? would you be labelled a failure for the remainder of your days?
someone cleared their throat next to you, pulling you out of your thoughts.
jeon jungkook was unlike most guys his age. he was a self assured, nerd. he liked star wars and marvel, his room filled with figurines, lego and comics. he had assembled a new gaming system, his pc his current pride and joy for when he played with his equally geeky friends. he was smart beyond words, with a loving family and a close circle that were just like him. his problem? he was invisible.
no one actually knew jeon jungkook. he’d shared this same classroom with you for over 3 years now, and to any ordinary person, you were two classmates. to someone who looked close enough, they’d see that the tall boy was utterly and entirely obsessed with you.
you were the love of his life, the object of his desires and most importantly, the single person that occupied his brain. he remembered the first time he ever saw you, walking past him in the hallway whilst laughing brightly and he swore his life had changed in that moment. you exuded warmth, you were the human embodiment of sunshine and he wanted nothing more than to simply have you look at him. to notice.
he wasn’t an idiot though, pretty girls like you didn’t look at quiet guys like jungkook. your ex was popular too, although by no means someone anyone actually liked. rude, abrasive, a nuisance - you were doing charity work and it was available to the world to see. he watched you come into class with blotchy skin and sore eyes, no doubt mourning the loss of your relationship. jungkook wanted to protect you like the superheroes he’d read about. wanted you to be his MJ, someone who would see him and accept.
that brought you to this current moment, big, teary eyes looking up to meet the gaze of no other than the tall boy from across the room. he had moved so quickly, you had hardly noticed him making his way over but from one look at the way he was holding all of his stuff, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“group project gets announced today.” jungkook softly reminded you, voice dripped in soothing honey, already doing wonders in relaxing your racing mind. “i know jofferey is horrible, and he’ll probably fail you just because he can even if you put a lot of work in.”
your lip began to quiver at the confirmation of your racing thoughts, making his eyes widen and then wince.
“but.” he quickly added. you peered up again, sniffling through your tears. “i can..i can help you? we can work together if that’s something you’re comfortable with. he can’t fail both of us, right?” he offered, the nervous twinge in his tone completely lost on you.
you sniffled again, wiping your eyes quickly although the tears that were brushed were quickly replaced with new ones.
“really?” you hopefully asked. “but, why would you do that? he likes you, i don’t wanna change that just because i’m dumb.”
jungkook’s face contorted immediately. “don’t say that, you’re not dumb. you’re more than capable.” he instantly shook his head, frown larger than yours. “and i’ve seen you at the library…i know you work hard, which means this is just jofferey on his power trip trying to bully you out of the course. but we won’t let him.”
you let out a little noise, tears dropping faster and faster as you shakily nodded, hands wiping your eyes. “promise?”
he could have sworn his entire chest had caved in at the sound of you so small and yet so hopeful. you sounded like you’d been given a lifeline, and the fact it was coming from him made him feel like more of a man than he had his entire life. his chest puffed out a little before he gave you a solid nod.
“i promise.”
——
the library was quieter than you expected on the third floor, not that you’d ever been here before. you typically stuck to the ground or top, where most of your friends studied, it was perhaps a rule unsaid that the floors in between were where the most academically inclined went.
jungkook sat, materials ready on his desk. his heart was thumping out of his chest, his hands slightly clammy as he readied his source materials for you to use. usually, he’d use his star wars pen to write his notes but he didn’t want you to laugh at him, instead opting for a black biro. his books however still had little stickers on them, with pokemon and random figures.
he peered up, watching as you walked in, two minutes earlier than your agreed scheduled time. dressed in a cute little cardigan and a tiny grey skirt, jungkook wanted to openly wail at how warm you looked. so sweet all over. his eyes trailed down your legs, where long socks sat on your thighs, small feet covered in the cutest shoes. he snapped his eyes up immediately once he realised he was probably staring, cheeks blaring red.
“hi.” you whispered over at him with a shy smile, putting your bag down next to you as you slid beside him.
jungkook flushed again, expecting you to sit opposite him. not that he was complaining, never.
“hi.” he whispered back, making your smile brighten.
“i just wanna say something if that’s okay.”
he nodded, running a hand over the back of his neck whilst pulling the materials he had placed above to you, beside him.
“i’m so sorry you have to waste your time on this project with me, i know there are so many smarter people in our course that could probably up your grade.” you nervously shuffled your hands on your lap, avoiding his gaze. “but i promise to work really hard and if i’m not pulling my weight, you can be as mean as you want, i’m really committed.”
jungkook blinked at you, rapidly before closing his eyes tightly for a few seconds. was it too much to stand up and scream from the bottom of his lungs? you were sweetness defined, and though he had gotten a taste of it from watching you for months now, perhaps to an alarming rate, seeing it up close was completely different. targeted at him too? he was fighting for his life.
“i don’t think i’m wasting my time at all.” he murmured, with a shake of his head. it was clear he was quiet and shy, but in that moment, felt a need to confirm a few things. “and i would never be mean to you. especially not over something like this.”
with furrowed brows, you peered up at him nervously. he was telling the truth, you could see his honesty etched on every corner of his face whilst you nibbled on your lip. you gave him a shy nod, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before turning to the stuff in front of you.
you gasped suddenly, perhaps a little too loudly judging from the heads that snapped up to look at you. jungkook’s eyes widened in confusion, rapidly looking at you and his surroundings but you hardly noticed.
“jungkook, is that a plusle sticker?” you excitedly asked, hands instantly falling onto his thigh without thinking.
your large eyes were suddenly so close to him, peering up at him with a sudden excitement that he could feel in every inch of his body.
“yes?” he confirmed nervously, blinking rapidly down at you again.
you squeaked, again completely inappropriate considering you were in a library. your bag was suddenly on your own lap as you rummaged through, picking out your notebook and placing it on the desk, showing it to him. “look!”
his eyes couldn’t leave your face, awe etched into every corner of his pupils but he knew he’d look crazy if he just sat here and stared at you. peering over, his own chest exploded at the little sticker you owned, slightly worn through. “is that..minun?”
you nodded with a wide grin, pushing it towards him. both of your books were now touching, the pokemon that often were associated as a pair stood side by side in front of you, exciting you to no end.
jungkook’s brain was about to burst. fuck.
“we match.” you head tilted, smile bright.
the excitement in your tone was palpable, causing his cheeks to flush pink and hands shake a little. you were matching with him, an act not purposefully done and yet fate was so kind. he had no idea you liked pokemon, figured someone like you would have no interest in it whatsoever but seeing it now visibly had him intrigued.
you noticed the way his cheeks stained, and it made your stomach tighten. god, he was so pretty - did he know that?
“yeah. we do.” he hummed to himself, making eye contact with you to offer a sincere grin.
the next few minutes were spent with you both discussing your favourite pokemon, jungkook coming out of his shell as he animatedly told you little facts that, in all honesty, did nothing to spare him from his nerd identity. unbeknownst to him, you were fucking enamoured by it, sitting up in your seat, eyes big and roaming over him.
soon enough, you were both coming down from your high, and the actual work began. he was explaining a theory to you, pen in hand whilst he traced certain parts of the textbook for you to understand.
“i don’t get it.” you admitted.
jungkook looked over at you, only to find you with a sad pout and downcast eyes. he wanted to scream.
he shuffled closer to you, knees slightly grazing. “that’s okay, do you want me to go over it again?”
you nodded in response.
wandering hands shuffled until you were in close proximity to the much taller man, his broad shoulders tilted in a way to avoid intimidating you. he was being patient beyond words, and you weren’t used to it in all honesty. you weren’t exactly being easy, none of this made sense, even the equations you had studied tirelessly were now blending into one.
“take it easy, y/n.” he murmured. “this is just the research stage, we have enough time to get this done.”
you peered up at him. “i’m sorry i’m being stupid.”
“don’t say that.”
you blinked, mouth falling open. you’d never heard jungkook speak like that before, hard and targeted. he wasn’t being mean, but he was certainly being firm.
“you’re not stupid. i don’t like you saying that about yourself.” he reiterated, a clear sense of agitation in his shoulders. never directed at you, and that you recognised immediately - a foreign concept that was now taking over you entirely.
you weren’t sure what to say, and judging from the pink of jungkook’s cheeks, he wasn’t sure how to proceed.
“how about we stop here for today?” he nervously asked, peering down at you through his lashes. “we’ve done a lot, gone through a few concepts and i don’t expect you to get everything straight away.”
you nodded a little, still in a daze. “okay.”
he nodded, suddenly nibbling on the inside of his cheek as he watched you get up, sweetly organising all of his notes that you messed up. he couldn’t bring himself to stop you.
he was enamoured. half awe, and half shock - he’d never seen anyone so pretty, and even though he knew you were way out of his league; he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like for you to notice him the same way. would you hold his hand? kiss him, caress him? would you let him pamper you, take care of your needs in every way? he wanted to die in between your legs, but that was a whole other conversation.
he was snapped out of his gaze once you whispered a little ta da, grin bright and wide at the little pile that you made.
“thank you.” he flushed. you grinned wider at his acknowledgment.
“same time tomorrow?” you quipped whilst sorting your own bag. this earned you a nod.
and as you turned to leave the library after a goodbye, jungkook found himself tipping his head back, groaning quietly under his breath with closed eyes. fuck. you were gonna ruin him.
—
this was not how you thought you’d be spending your friday night, but how could you complain?
you sat in seokjin’s frat house, weeks later, drinks unlimited, music booming, everyone around you having a great time. some were dancing whilst others playing games like beer pong - you sat on the couch with all of your friends around you.
“so he’s just tutoring you for free?” namjoon asked in curiosity.
“well, he’s my project partner but he’s kinda tutoring me too, he went over all of the equations yesterday, kept explaining the theories we were gonna use too.” you excitedly told them.
all of them were listening curiously. you weren’t one to be enamoured by anyone, especially not after your horrible ex, who had done unrepairable damage to you and your brain. yet, here you sat, having gathered all 7 of them to animatedly tell them you’d found a crush - nerdy jungkook at that.
“he sounds lovely.” yejin excitedly nodded next to you, giving you a big thumbs up. “yeah, really patient too.” jimin nodded, earning a few agreeing noises from hobi, and yoongi.
you tucked your hair behind your ear. “he really is. oh! he even got annoyed a little the other week because i made a throwaway comment about being stupid or something, i don’t even remember, but he was so…firm.” you groaned out loud, making yejin squeal excitedly.
the boys rarely indulged in girl chat between you and yejin, but you were the baby of the group, and they were incredibly protective. from what they could figure out, jungkook seemed like a genuinely nice person, someone they hoped you’d find soon.
“i wanna meet him.” jin hummed. “should have invited him tonight, y/n, we could have gotten to know him.”
“well, i don’t know…i don’t think he sees me like that, he’s just really nice.” your posture fell.
yejin and yoongi shared a glance, frowning. jimin flinched at your words. he knew better than most that this doubt stemmed from your ex, his cruel words, things that he’d scream at you every chance he could. they were now etched into the ridges of your brain, you couldn’t get them out no matter how hard you tried.
“i think he’s probably half in love with you already, and that’s me being very casual, sweetheart.” taehyung scoffed. “yeah, from what it sounds like, he genuinely likes you, y/nnie.” yejin agreed, as everyone stood up, whilst she took your hand to do the same.
you couldn’t bring yourself to believe them. you stood up, taking your best friends hand with a little grin whilst ignoring the gaping hole within your chest, echoing things you wanted to dismiss so badly. it consumed you. it was horrible how quickly your mood could shift, without even one semblance of a trigger, but everyone knew the reason. you had the best friends in the world, and they were committed to making you see otherwise.
you all parted, whilst you headed upstairs to go to the bathroom really quickly. you wanted to use jin’s personal one since it was cleaner, rushing up the stairs in your heels. people were kissing everywhere, to your right, left, behind, in front of- you grimaced at first but then your thoughts began to wonder.
would jungkook kiss like that? you imagined he would be soft, maybe unsure. the thought of him potentially even being rougher or harder than you expected nearly had you collapsing on the stairs.
soon you had done your business, coming out of the room, only to be bombarded by the one single individual you did not want to see. with your back hitting the wall of the hallway, your eyes widened as they made contact with your ex.
he hummed, eyes peering over you, taking his time to look you up and down. he knew he intimidated you, quite enjoyed it even, watching the way your shoulders would rise and hands would shake. was this his effect?
“hello, y/n. thought it was you going in, but thought i’d check.”
“what are you doing here? jin didn’t invite you.” you weakly protested, making him hum again, whilst taking a step towards you.
he tilted his head. “and yet i’m here. look at you, hm?” he reached out, grazing your hip. his touch disgusted you. “this dress is too short.”
“don’t fucking touch me.” you hissed, yanking yourself away. you began to walk down the hall, further and further away from his but he soon caught up. considering everyone around you was drunk, you knew no one was coming to your aid.
your legs picked up, making it halfway down the stairs before he even began ascending, your eyes meeting that of namjoon’s immediately. you made your way over, legs shaking and hands reaching out for him, which he instantly obliged, eyebrows furrowed.
“y/n? what’s wrong? what happened?” he asked, confused.
you couldn’t get the words out, simply turning around with ragged breath only to find him gone. he wasn’t on the stairs, wasn’t anywhere you could see him and that did nothing for your poor brain. yejin noticed your shaky figure, coming over and making sure you were alright.
you managed to mumble out what had happened, resulting in hobi and yoongi personally taking you home. you sat in hobi’s car whilst you closed your eyes, yoongi holding your hand to ground you - your ex was no laughing matter. the guy was evil.
the thought of making you hurt made him happy. he genuinely believed he had ownership over you, that you were nothing more than a toy to be messed with - your brain was now as a result of that. having parents that had never shown you love, you were a hopeless romantic, you wanted as much of it as you could get to fill the hole they’d never even attempted to touch - his perfect victim.
and now, you sat in your room, makeup off, hair in a ponytail, wearing your sleep shorts and your camisole. you had been lounging on your bed, staring into space, tears streaming down your face. it was a lot, and you weren’t ready for it, hadn’t even thought of him in a while. his touch was what repulsed you the most, though.
you sighed, wiping your eyes. you felt suffocated in your apartment, you needed fresh air.
pulling on a hoodie, you grabbed your phone and keys before you headed out, standing by the entrance of your apartment to breathe. you did exactly that for a few minutes, eyes closed and exhaling. you opted on walking to the shop which sat a few minutes away, next to a cluster of different buildings.
you headed in, getting a snack, before noticing the beaming lights that were erupting from the building across the street. this was the local internet cafe, it was usually pretty quiet in there but judging from the flashing lights of all the monitors, it seemed like it was a busy night. you were a curious girl by nature, so you couldn’t help walk across the street, big eyes peering into the window. nothing could have prepared you for what you were looking at.
countless people were stood around a single person playing, cheering and egging him on. screams and shouts were deafening as you stood outside, head tilted, watching as expert hands glided over the mouse and keyboard. it dawned on you once you noticed the particular tattoos covering the individuals hand that the man in question was no other than jungkook himself.
a little gasp left you. you inched closer to the glass. everyone was leaning in closer now, causing you to do the same, your hands pressed gently against the shop window as you watched jungkook work. he was enchanting, his fingers moving rapidly whilst his gaze was locked. he looked so serious, completely unlike the quiet, almost bashful man that so patiently helped you.
your heartbeat was quickening up. you tilted closer at the same time as everyone else and for a moment, pure silence.
a beat passed.
you released a breath you didn’t even realise you were holding as the entire shop erupted in roars, jungkook’s screen showing his victory whilst everyone all but screamed. your wide eyes grew further, lips parting as your hands dropped from the window, watching everyone in genuine awe. people were embracing him, patting him on the back, congratulating him.
the thing that floored you was the sheer confidence radiating from him. was this the same jungkook? the one that blushed when you waved past him in the corridor? the same one who stuttered for a full 30 seconds when you told him you liked his haircut? the casual grin on his face whilst he basked in everyone’s joy did nothing for the pang between your legs, your throat suddenly dry. you’d wanted him before but now? now you needed him.
jungkook basked in the glory of his win, laughing quietly as people cheered and whooped. his eyes flickered over everyone as he made his way through, his grin showcasing his bunny smile. his gaze ran across the crowd before slowly falling onto you, who stood outside, lips parted and eyes wide in wonder.
upon being caught, you stepped back, cheeks flushing almost instantly as you watched his eyes widen a little, and his confident grin soften immediately. you weren’t sure what to do, so you offered a small little wave, realising that he might not want you to perceive him. the moment felt oddly intimate, the two of you stood silent, straight and direct whilst the people around him continued their loud bellows. after a moment or two, you watched him glide past people, making his way outside to you.
he stepped out, cold winter air flushing against his warm skin. “hi.”
“hi.” you shyly responded, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “you were so good.”
“i didn’t realise you were watching, would have tried to make it look a bit cooler.”
you laughed, for what felt like the first time in a while. your throat felt scratchy and your eyes were visibly red - alongside the blotchy nature of your skin, it was obvious you had been crying tonight and jungkook’s stomach plummeted.
“you okay?” he asked, taking a step towards you. you didn’t move back, simply letting him come closer.
you nodded, looking down at your feet as you shuffled them against the concrete.
jungkook noticed you weren’t being yourself. bag full of snacks in hand, noticing you had bought yourself your favourite gummy bears - something you once told him you only did when you were super stressed during a project meeting.
his heart was beating too fast. “wanna come in?”
you looked up immediately, sore eyes widening. “oh! um, i’ve never like..gamed before.” you flushed pink. “and i really wouldn’t wanna intrude, you don’t have to stop just..you know because i’m here, i’d hate to be in the way.”
he watched as you shook your head, shoulders lifting whilst your eyes flickered to meet his gaze and away, almost embarrassed. he noticed the way you were speaking, second guessing yourself with every phrase - he wasn’t sure what had happened, but he knew it was enough to make your brain hurt.
“you could never, ever get in the way.” jungkook whispered. as though it was for you to hear and you alone, to keep tightly in your pocket. “i think if you were in there, i’d probably have won a lot quicker. motivation, and all of that.”
your eyes were blinking away the shock your face was visibly showing. was it hot outside or was the heat on your cheeks just spreading?
“and more importantly, i’d love for you to come in. i can show you the game if you want, anyone can play it. you can dress up your character, there’s this one dress i think you’d like.” jungkook teased, taking another step towards you.
he now stood so close. you could smell his cologne, addicting, and you closed your eyes for a second as it swirled into your mind. you nodded a little, still unsure and second guessing yourself, but you needed a reprise from the horrible evening you’d had.
at your confirmation, he bravely reached for your hand and took it within his. your gaze met his once again, the two of you staring at one another almost longingly before he intertwined your fingers. “let’s head in.”
he did exactly that, taking you and pulling you towards the shop, guiding you in whilst opening the door for you. it seemed in that moment everyone stopped and stared at you, mouth agape and both noise and chatter stopping immediately. you were the most popular girl in their school - this was nerd central, a complete 180 of where they’d expect you to be.
more importantly, you were holding jungkook’s hand so intimately, whilst he guided you to his chair, shielding you from everyone a little. they were curious, confused and genuinely in awe - were you guys dating, they wondered? popular, pretty y/n and geeky, jungkook who won mmorpg tournaments on behalf of his club.
you nervously looked around, blush intensifying as people shamelessly watched you. the chatter had died and you were feeling insecure at the thought of being unwanted, jungkook hovering over you. “jungkook, i..i can leave if it’s a problem, i don’t mind. pinky promise.”
he scoffed at the thought, tucking his chair in so you were comfortably sat at his desk, whilst he leaned over you. “they’re just shocked a pretty girl like you is sat at my desk, believe me, they’re happy to see you; they just don’t know if they’re dreaming.”
you found yourself curling into jungkook despite him being above you. it was an act unconsciously done, and was clearly a means for protection which he was truly more than happy to provide. he felt his chest puff, shoulders straightening, feeling wanted and needed.
“okay pretty girl, let’s get you an account sorted.”
your eyes flickered up at him, lips parting. he turned to look at you too, a grin forming on his lips at your reaction to the compliment. fuck, he wanted to kiss you so badly, bite your red cheeks or just smother you in how he felt about you.
“why aren’t you sitting too?” you hummed, turning in your seat.
everyone had settled in now, and though they were still staring, you could see it truly wasn’t malicious - people like you didn’t come here very often and this was a safe haven where people got to enjoy their hobbies. they simply wondered whether you were secretly like them too. but upon looking at everyone, you realised there were no other seats.
“oh that’s okay, wanna make sure you’re comfortable. you gotta customise your character.”
you furrowed your eyebrows. “no, please sit.” with a shake to your head, you stood, pushing yourself out once you scooted your legs to the ground. jungkook nearly audibly groaned with how cute you were without even trying.
before he could even blink, you had him situated on his seat, your eyes flicking over to confirm there were no other seats. you looked over at him, flustered, pink cheeks, eyes a little glazed over - you wanted him like this always. it made your stomach drop in want.
instead, you hummed as you sat on his lap, your back to his chest immediately as you made yourself comfortable, as though it was the most blasé thing in the world.
jungkook’s eyes closed for a moment, feeling your body so tightly pressed against his was one of his fantasies, and the fact it was happening so casually nearly had him biting his own hand. his brain moved slower than his body, with his arm wrapping around your waist to push you flush against his back. he leaned forward, feet planted on the ground to push you tightly in.
“comfortable?” he whispered against you, making you nod, peering over at him over your shoulder, your faces incredibly close. your nose booped his slightly, making a shallow breath leave him, though that did nothing to stop the hump of your heart.
“very.” you confirmed, making him grin at you.
you felt so protected, so safe with his large arm around you, his hand pressed against your tummy in a way that had your head swirling. one of your fingers immediately began playing with his, whilst his other hand moved the mouse.
“ooh, i wanna have pink hair!” you chose immediately, making him do that for you. you began dictating your outfit choices, to which he listened and laughed heartily, enjoying you customising your character to your taste. he was being so patient, as he always was, and it made you feel good, better than good even.
you leaned forward, pointing at the screen. “can we have matching swords?”
“yeah, this one’s really special, you have to do this quest that takes like a week to get it. you can have mine for now and then i’ll get one, so we can match okay?”
jungkook didn’t have the heart to tell you that it was the most sought after thing in the game, and that it was incredibly hard to obtain. for you? he was getting that fucking sword again.
“it’s pretty. matches my outfit, look.” you grinned, pushing back into his chest again making his arm tighten around you as you all but cuddled against him. he was loving this, feeling his pretty girl all curled into him whilst he got to show off what he was good at - the fact you were genuinely impressed only made him feel better.
“mm, is pretty, love it.” he murmured into your ear, making you shift your ass tighter against him subconsciously. his voice was so deep, you brain was melting.
you both played together, whilst curled into one another, very evidently flirting. he would bounce something at you, only for you to do the same right back - the both of you towed a line that you’d never dared to do before and you were obsessed. now that you’d had a taste of it, you needed more.
he was teaching you how to fight in game but you were failing miserably, unsure of how to move your hand as fast as the controls needed on the keyboard. “it’s hard.” you whined, huffing a little against his chest.
he wanted to groan loudly into the air. you were so fucking cute and he could barely compute it. without thinking, his hands both slid from holding your hips tightly down onto him, to down your arms and where your hands sat on the keyboard and mouse. “let me guide you.”
the flutters you experienced up and down your body were driving you insane. the cafe was pretty empty now considering it was 3 in the morning, save from the sleeping worker at the front of the shop to some lone players right on the other side of the room. it felt so intimate, feeling his fingers glide against you until they sat on top of your own.
they shifted you from left to right, up and down, whilst you excitedly watched on screen. you were finally winning a match, and the squeals you were letting out felt like a victory in itself to the tatted boy.
soon, your opponent was dead, making you bounce a little on his lap, excitedly turning to him. “we won!”
“you won.” he corrected with a big grin, only making your bright smile even wider as you all but clapped your hands.
he turned you so you were facing the screen, your quiet giggles forcing him to wrap his arms around you again. he got the courage to drop his head in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent openly despite it being quite the direct act.
you tilted your head slightly, as though to give him some more room to do so, clearly enjoying it just as much as he was. it was like you were both experiencing something that couldn’t be touched by the outside world, and you loved it.
“mm, jungkook? aren’t you tired? it’s so late.” you questioned curiously, whilst he continued to nuzzle your neck, hot breath tickling your skin.
“could sleep like this.” he grunted.
you rolled your eyes but you couldn’t help the smile that was forming; feeling giddy at the prospect of someone you fancied so much displaying such affection.
he groaned as you tried to stand up, as a bid to go home, pulling you back into his lap almost immediately, in a completely different position. now, you were facing him.
the little gasp that left you was quiet but heavy, his eyes flickering over your face, the rise and fall of your chest, and the shake of your hands. most importantly? you could feel his hardness underneath you, prodding against your core just right.
jungkook sobered up a little at the moment, realising the intimacy, and beyond how he felt about you, your comfort always came first. his hands travelled to your hips once more, about to pick you up and move you but you beat him to it, grinding just once against him.
“o..oh.” you let out a stuttered noise, whilst he let out a strangled grunt. you looked up at him through your lashes, noticing the way his eyebrows knitted together, lips parting, whilst his hands gripped your body tight.
you did it again, earning yourself another grunt before doing it again, and again, and again, until you were a whining mess against him. you weren’t sure how this had quickly escalated like this, but you were grinding your clothed core against his, the two of you moving in unison whilst trying to be as quiet as possible. though the shop was practically empty, he didn’t want anyone to see you like this. he felt possessive at the mere thought.
flickering lights from the computer monitors were the only thing illuminating both of your faces, your foreheads pressed against one another whilst you both chased something you’d been craving for too long.
his fingers were pressing into the skin underneath your hoodie, imprints left on your hips while he guided you, as a means to alleviate the pressure in your thighs. neither of you spoke, didn’t need to, enamoured by the look on each other’s faces. his eyes were trained on your lips, wanting to move forward and capture them for his own but it felt so much more intimate, and despite what was happening, he worried you wouldn’t want that.
you found yourself inching forward, breaths mingling and lips brushing, and yet not touching. jungkook was about to press them against yours when the cafe owner yawned, standing up.
“alright, closing up in two minutes. everyone go home.” he grumbled, still half asleep.
you both jolted away from each other, gasping quietly. it was like cold water was dumped onto you, as you scrambled off of his lap embarrassedly, cheeks burning red. jungkook had sunk into his chair, legs parted, chest heaving and eyes wide. neither of you knew what to say, causing you to shift from foot to foot - the entirety of the past few hours dawning on you both.
you liked him. beyond words, even, but this suddenly felt like too much and entirely not enough. jungkook could see the confusion on your face and immediately stood, logging out and shutting his computer down before turning to you.
“do you live close by?” he asked, gently, unsure of whether you’d be okay if he touched you.
you couldn’t respond, not trusting your voice. his eyes wandered over you, so patient, so warm, as though he was willing to take this at whatever pace you wanted, despite the tent in his joggers being visible.
he lead you outside, the cold air nipping at your legs, the warmth running through your body so quickly replaced. “do you live nearby?” he gently asked again, his fingers twitching to hold you.
“yeah.” you confirmed, throat suddenly scratchy. “just across, over there.” you pointed at the apartment building, your window visible. “can i walk you?”
you nodded, almost shy, as he reached for your hand, gently intertwining his fingers with yours. he wanted you to know, to see his feelings towards you - surely you could recognise them clear as day, but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by expressing them. especially considering he’d liked you for years, way before you even knew he existed. the imbalance was clear, and he’d rather have a taste of you than nothing at all - he was content with merely being around you if it meant he got to exist in your circle.
the walk took only a few minutes, and it was spent in silence. your brain was racing. you wanted him, wanted to continue, wanted more, so much more, but you were scared. you’d already been so badly burned by your ex, the prospect of it potentially happening again terrified you - you genuinely wouldn’t survive it, especially considering your strong feelings for the boba eye’d man beside you. you didn’t realise your overthinking had clouded your vision, unaware that you had stopped right outside your door.
“y/n?” jungkook called softly.
your eyes flickered up, instantly. his gaze was patient as ever, running over your features as you mumbled something incoherent, your cheeks a gentle shade of pink. he watched as you fiddled with your keys.
“would…would you like to come in?” you asked him, nervously.
you stood by your door, half in, half out, big eyes peering up at him. jungkook had never seen you so beautiful.
“i would. would you like me to?” he asked you.
he wanted the ball in your court, a gentle reminder that the choice was yours to make, and yours alone. he wasn’t sure why you were so scared, but it didn’t matter - he was working on your pace.
“yeah.” you confirmed, stepping back to let him in.
one foot into your apartment had him wanting to sigh loudly. from plush cushions to the warm rug, pictures hung around everywhere, pinks, blues, yellows and greens - you were quite literally the cutest thing on earth. every inch of your living space represented you, and he was enamoured by it. the scent of your favourite perfume sat heavy in the air and he wanted to drown in it too.
the little grin he gave you made you visibly relax, shoulders slumping and warmth spreading over you. “this is where i usually procrastinate my side of the project.”
you were giggling whilst showing him the cosy corner of your living room, a desk with revision materials messily stacked in a corner. he matched you, laughing as you took him to each part of your home. “and this is where i keep those cookies you like…”, “oh! look, i have all my jumpers in this drawer, this is the one i wore yesterday that you said was nice.”
soon, you were both walking into your bedroom, whilst you chattered away. you had become animated, feeling comfortable and excited to show him little things you were sure he’d appreciate. and appreciate he did, he matched your energy with each and every thing despite not understanding it all.
“your bed is so cute.” he couldn’t help but laugh, covered in sweet plushies, and bedding that had hearts and pink sweets all over them. the throw you had on the corner tied it all together. the one thing he couldn’t help but notice was how small it was, and it made him want to scream.
you grinned excitedly, shuffling into your bed, sitting cross legged with your duvets over you. “i fit right in.”
he laughed heartily, walking over and covering the space around you with your plushies. “you look so cute, your bed is tiny.”
“it’s the perfect size, actually.” you huffed, taking the teddy he handed you.
you were both being so giggly, and though the situation was so utterly stupid, it felt freeing to have so much fun without anyone looking. your hand reached out for him too, pulling him onto the bed and closer to you, forcing him to climb in, but the bed was much too small for the both of you.
this only made your giggles louder, as he hovered over you, it being the only viable way. you laid back on your back, covered in warmth from both him and your duvets.
your laughter died down as he pressed his forehead against yours, your noses brushing against one another. breaths mingled with one another, and you were reminded that unlike in the internet cafe, it really was just the two of you here, in the comfort of your own room.
“can i kiss you?” jungkook whispered, lips slowly brushing against yours before pulling away enough to ask you gently.
you nodded, making him nudge your nose. he wanted you to do it vocally. “yes.” you confirmed, voice breathy.
that was all he needed, lips pressing against yours immediately.
first, came a slow, barely there peck, as though you were both testing the waters. the second touch was charged with more curiosity, your lips moving in unison as you explored one another. you both pulled away, eyes fluttering open to meet each other’s gaze.
the pure longing, yearning even in jungkook’s eyes made your eyebrows knit together - he looked all but pained. you couldn’t help parting your lips, before pressing your lips back onto his.
this one was different. this was needy, touchy, desperate. your hands flooded into his fluffy hair, and pulled it close to you as you both made out, his arms biceps caging your head. you felt entirely flooded, legs wrapping around his waist and pulling him down.
jungkook moaned into your mouth, running his tongue on your bottom lip, before nudging your nose with his own. your tongues battled for dominance, the both of you fighting until jungkook ultimately won, exploring your mouth eagerly. he was too good at this, you thought.
once you pulled away for breath, a string of saliva separated from your mouths, the two of you panting. his bulge was visible from his bottoms and you wanted nothing more than to feel it again, so you lifted your hips to weakly grind into him.
“you want this?” he asked you, voice gruff as he kissed down your neck, hips dropping to your own so you were pressed right against him.
“mhm. want you, kookie.”
the nickname had him groaning in your neck. he lined you up so your cores were pressed against each other like you were earlier on in the night, grinding against each other.
“how do you want me?” he breathed against you, watching the way your face contorted as he held one of your hips, forcing you to meet his harsh grind. through all of the layers that separated you, you felt your pussy keen at the feel of his clothes cock, the friction delicious.
“want all of you. want you inside me.” you whispered, whilst still pulling his hair making his eyes roll.
your words were enough to drive him insane. he picked his pace up immediately, but it wasn’t enough - it felt insane but you wanted, no needed, more. jungkook could sense your restlessness, making a small airy grin form on his face as he began pushing your bottoms down from your hips, leaving you in your panties.
he wasn’t sure where the confidence was coming from, but tonight, it had radiated from him. it was the ego boost of you watching him win, seeing you want him just as much as he wanted you, noticing your actions were a reflection of his. it was a confirmation.
his hand pushed your panties to the side, lips attaching back into yours whilst his middle finger began sliding through your slick folds. he cursed into your mouth, eyebrows knitted together before beginning to rub your clit.
the moan you let out mid kiss was utterly sinful, one of your hands travelling to his muscular arm, gripping it tightly. you couldn’t help but notice how big he was over you, all muscle and power, his touch felt both soft and rough at the same time, an oxymoron for your brain.
“jungkook, fuck.” you squealed out loudly once he inserted a finger, making him moan into your mouth at your reaction.
he pulled away slightly, to watch your facial expressions, noticing how his dreams had paled in comparison to the real thing. he pumped in and out with vigour, cock straining at the sight of you.
“taking it so well, pretty girl, can you take another one?” he cooed at you, praising you as much as he could.
you nodded, whimpering whilst basking in the glow of his attention. you liked it too much, but you weren’t ready to address it. he pushed another one of his fingers into your pussy, watching how your hips lifted as your back arched.
a single finger felt like multiple of your own, so you were already feeling the burning stretch and yet you loved it. he, too, had exceeded all of your wet dreams so far and that was no easy feat.
“fuck, look at you.” he whispered down at you, moans matching. he pumped them whilst sucking at your neck, leaving purple bruises to mark you as his own, breathing in your scent. “always smell so good, you drive me insane.”
“jungkook..” you whimpered again, as his pace picked up, his other hand coming down to rub your clit at the same time. the sensations were enough to bring you to the edge, your entire body aflame.
it was like he could read your mind, continuing his bruising pace, watching as your brain completely exploded, your orgasm rushing through your body. your hips lifted, moans strangling in your throat as you squeaked his name. your legs shook, whilst your pussy tightened against his fingers - this didn’t stop him from fingering you through it.
once you came down from your high, he slowly pulled his fingers out, groaning at the sight of your slick coating his fingers. he watched your little pussy throb, whilst tremors took over you. you were sensitive, and he loved it.
“feel good?” he asked, instantly taking his fingers into his mouth, groaning at the taste. he went to dive in between your legs but you stopped him immediately. “want you inside.” you begged, with a shake of your head.
jungkook closed his eyes for a moment, head falling to your stomach as he willed himself not to cum then and there. he stood up from the bed, taking off his hoodie and bottoms before hovering over you again, bulge prominent and angry in his boxers.
“fuck, y/n, i don’t have condoms.” the sudden realisation had him groaning into your shoulder, preparing himself to put on his clothes once more. “i don’t want you to use one.” you murmured almost instantly, hips lifting.
his eyes shot open, wide and big. his breath stuttered as your fingers reached for his waistband. “don’t you wanna cum inside me, kookie? i wanna feel full.”
he genuinely nearly came then and there, the utterly sinful words leaving your lips a complete and utter juxtaposition to the environment you were in. he wasted no time, all but ripping your tiny little camisole off of you, leaving you naked whilst he also took off his final article of clothing.
he looked almost pained, angry even, as he ran his cock up and down your pussy. “are you trying to ruin me even more?”
the sly grin on your face was eating at his brain. you were teasing him, enjoying how riled up he was getting.
“you won tonight, remember? gotta make sure you get your reward.”
before you could even say anything else, jungkook began pushing into you. you weren’t someone who had sex often, usually preferring to do it with someone you were in a relationship with, meaning your experience was limited to your ex. that meant you had never taken anyone or anything as big as jungkook, which was made apparent with the way your legs shook as he inserted himself in entirely.
you were quivering, lip shaking and big eyes already teary as you stared up at the big man inside you. he lowered himself, biceps around your face as he peppered kisses all over you. “my brave girl, look at how good you’re being for me, hm? always work so hard, taking my cock so well.”
you loved his praise. you all but keened for it whenever you were working on your project together, yearning for his validation.
it took a few minutes to feel like you had adjusted in any sense, watching as he pulled back only to thrust back in. the wind was swept out of your lungs, a feeling of overwhelming pleasure filtering through your body whilst the pain thumped. the mixture of the two in itself felt sinful, and you secretly loved it.
jungkook began his pace, hard but slow, making you feel every single thing. you were scratching his chest, pawing at it whilst he caged you in, pounding into you as though he was claiming something that belonged to him.
“you’re so big.” you teared whimpered, salty opals slipping out of your eyes and down the sides of your face.
the sight turned him on further, making him grunt. his pretty girl, crying because she could barely take his cock? the thought was electrifying.
“don’t cry, baby..” he cooed, whilst simultaneously picking up his pace. he knew he was evil for doing it, but the way your hips were lifting and your gasps were getting louder, he knew you liked it. “this tight pussy was made to be ruined by me, just need to take it.”
his words were driving you insane. it was like you couldn’t breathe, the close proximity, alongside the way you were leaving scratches all over him, felt addicting. one of your hands began clutching his meaty bicep, making him curl it just for you, letting his flexed muscle turn you on further.
“feels so good, wanted this for so long.” you admitted through your tears, sniffling whilst moaning, begging him for more to which he happily obliged.
your words were thumping around in his mind, the concept of you yearning for him like he did for you was something he had never even dared to imagine.
“yeah? you have no fucking idea how long i’ve needed this, y/n. watching you walk into that class, small little skirts, and your cute dresses.” he grunted. “used to pump my cock every day thinking about bending you over there and then. you’d let me, wouldn’t you?”
“mhm.” you confirmed instantly, nodding. jungkook couldn’t fathom how cute you were. “only you.”
“only me.” he confirmed, eyes shutting for a second as his ego inflated beyond words. “because you’re my girl, all mine. won’t let a single person ever make you believe otherwise.”
suddenly, you were lifted from the bed, as he sat with his back to the headboard. the loss of him inside of you was jarring, making you whimper and scratch loudly making him hiss, whilst he manoeuvred you onto his lap. “be patient.” he chastised, leaving a stinging slap to your ass.
you squeaked, falling into his arms immediately making him let out an airy laugh. he pushed your legs apart again, leaning you over so you were sliding down onto his cock, feeling so much bigger in this angle.
you could feel him in your stomach, he almost felt too big, as though you seriously couldn’t handle him but this only egged him on further. he wrapped his arms around your waist whilst you laid your head on his shoulder, hands cupping his chest through sniffles.
“can’t, kookie, too big.” you begged, making him groan silently. watching you helplessly try to move on his cock, only forcing him deeper inside of you made him want to ruin you further. “i’ll take care of you, baby, that’s my job, right?” he hummed, pressing a kiss to your head.
it almost felt too intimate, or even romantic for the moment, and yet it made your heart bloom. the feeling was lost instantly, as he began thrusting again, forcing you up and down onto his too big cock whilst your poor pussy protested.
your moans were so much louder in this position, and he fucking loved them. the way your ass was bouncing whilst he fucked up into you, pushing your hips to meet every thrust was intoxicating.
this wasn’t what you had expected your night to be. from the party, to your ex, to the cafe, to him now whispering sweet praise into your ear. “you perfect girl.” he grunted, pressing gentle kisses against your teary cheeks as though he wasn’t the reason for them. “you’re so good for me, so so good.”
“doing good?” you reiterated, stuttering through your words. it made him coo at you, as though he wasn’t bullying his fat cock into your tight pussy, breaking you completely. “best fucking girl, you’re perfect.”
you only nodded, crying into his shoulder in pleasure as he began to rub your clit. you knew you couldn’t last, not with the way his thrusts began to match the way he was toying with your pussy, and before you could even warn him, your eyes rolled to the back of your head.
your orgasm rushed through you like fireworks, every single cell in your body bursting to life as you quivered and shook on his cock. you had grown impossibly tighter, milking him as he too felt himself cum inside of you, moaning out your name with a pant.
the two of you were breathing into each other’s mouths as you shared a sloppy kiss, full of spit and messy tongues whilst he pumped through your orgasms, slow but firm.
by the time you were both coming down from your high, you were a shaking mess. it had been so much for your body to handle, and yet you knew now you’d had a taste, you could never live without it.
“hey, look at me.” he gently cooed down at you.
you did exactly that, just as he began pulling out of you. he watched as your expression contorted from the overstimulation, your pussy throbbing around him, making it hard for him to pull out. he wanted to frame that expression for the rest of his days.
“you okay, baby?” he hummed, pressing a kiss to your head.
you were still teary, sniffling up at him whilst he nuzzled your nose with his own. “mhm, felt so good.”
he hummed again. “good. felt incredible.”
jungkook leaned down, noticing his cum leaking out of you, and with a small tut, instantly fingered it back into you. you guys weren’t together, and hardly even broached any romance to be prepping for a pregnancy, and yet his primal instincts wanted his cum to stick. he wanted you round and heavy, a reminder to all you were his girl, glowing with his baby.
your pussy clenched at the sight and feel of him, knowing his intentions. the sick part of your brain wanted it too, and judging from the way you parted your legs further, jungkook knew.
soon, you were snuggled back on top of him with his arms around you, pressing kisses to your cheek. you were both freshly showered, and he’d even changed the bedsheets for you, plopping all of your favourite plushies around him so you’d feel comfortable.
he couldn’t keep his lips off of you, and despite your giggles, you could feel the exhaustion seeping in as the sun began to rise. he pressed a final kiss to your lips, the two of you curling into one another, before sleep captured you simultaneously. you’d both grown so accustomed to dreaming about each other, a world where your fantasies would come to life - neither of you imagined that reality would be sweeter than anything you could conjure up.
——
the next morning, you found yourself groaning into your pillow, nuzzling your cheek into the warmth that you were promised each morning, duvet curling around you. the soreness between your legs was a kind reminder of the mind blowing intimacy you’d shared with jungkook, whilst the gentle thump of your heart reminded you how sweetly he had treated you all night.
your eyes flickered open, noticing his absence. your eyebrows furrowed immediately at the sight of his clothes gone too, indicating he’d gotten dressed. you looked over at your side table and there was no note, making you lean over to grab your phone. 0 notifications from jungkook.
you sat up, pulling the duvet over your naked body in confusion. had he left you? this felt unlike him, jungkook of all people would have stayed the morning after, and this didn’t feel like it was in his character.
regardless, facts were facts - it was midday, and your apartment was eerily quiet without even so much of an indication jungkook was ever even there.
your heart clenched. had he used you? you knew it was ridiculous to think like that, but it wouldn’t have been the first time a man had done something like that to you - your ex would do this all the time, sweet talk you as much as possible to get into your pants and then discard you like it was nothing. your eyebrows furrowed further as tears began to spring.
reluctantly, you got up, placing a new set of lounge wear on as you walked to your living room, where he was absent too. truly, you couldn’t help but cry. it was a horrible feeling, to feel like you had been used for your body; but what other conclusion could you come to?
you took a seat on your couch as you opted to watch a sitcom, trying to rid yourself of the shameful ache that replaced the ones between your thighs, quietly crying to yourself with a box of tissues.
you were two episodes in when the door swung open, a grumbling jungkook walking in, two bags in his hands. he kicked the door closed gently, clearly unaware you were sat on your couch as he towed his shoes off and shuffled over to the open plan kitchen, that sat connected to the same room you were in.
you watched him, with wide eyes, sniffling away. “jungkook?” you called out, shakily.
he yelped a little, a deep blush forming on his cheeks as he noticed you on the couch in a bundle of blankets, cheeks wet and eyes sore. his own eyes widened like saucers, dropping the two bags of food and immediately coming to your aid.
“what’s wrong? did something happen?” he asked immediately, dropping to his knees in between your legs so you were face to face.
his questioning immediately had you bursting out into tears again, your hands coming up to hide your face. you felt fucking humiliated, having jumped to conclusions so quickly but you couldn’t blame yourself - this was your norm, your horrible ex boyfriend had made sure of that.
“y/n? you’re scaring me, baby, what happened? talk to me, it’s just me.” he cooed, taking a hold of your hands whilst forcing you to look at him.
you opened your mouth to speak, watching him nod encouragingly which only allowed for more tears to leave. “i-i..i thought you left.”
he tilted his head, confused. “yeah, went to get us breakfast, got held up in all these different lines though so took so much longer than it needed to.”
you couldn’t stop crying, and it felt even more humiliating knowing it was over nothing, your stupid insecurities getting in the way. “i thought you had just left.”
his eyebrows furrowed. “you thought i wasn’t coming back?”
you nodded, head downwards whilst he rubbed his thumb over your fingers reassuringly. he all but cooed at you again, taking your hands and kissing them gently, as though you were made of glass.
“oh, sweet girl. i’d never leave you, you hear me? never, ever.” he promised, standing up to sit beside you. within seconds, he had you on his lap whilst you curled into his neck, sniffling as sobs wracked through your body. “i know you like those sandwiches from that shop in town so i thought i’d get you some before we had a talk, but i should’ve left a note, a text, or something. i didn’t realise it would take so long.”
“i’m sorry.” you whimpered, slowly calming down.
“why are you sorry? this was my mistake, and i’m the one who should be apologising to you.” he shook his head, kissing your cheeks and leaving little pecks to your lips. “look at me, y/n.”
you did exactly that, desperately trying to stomach how embarrassed you felt from jumping to conclusions but it all melted away upon one look at him. he looked so earnest, warm eyes fuelling into yours whilst he held you - you’d never had a man worship you the way he was, and not because he thought he’d gain anything from it, but because he wanted to.
“we’re gonna talk right now, okay? then we’re gonna eat, and we’ll plan our day but we need to talk this out properly so you don’t feel like this ever again.”
you nodded nervously, sniffling.
“is there a reason you were so scared?” jungkook dreaded the answer, knowing it partially, but he needed to address it with you.
you sniffled again, fiddling with the zipper of his zip up. “just used to happen all the time with my ex so i figured you got what you wanted and..and didn’t actually want me.”
your voice cracked by the end of your sentence, vulnerability showing as tears flooded your vision once more. jungkook wanted to cry himself at the mere sight of you, curled into him all nervous and shaky, as though your worst fears had come to life for a few seconds.
“y/n, look at me.” he begged, eyes shaky. you obliged, making eye contact again. “you have no idea what you are to me, you’re literally every single one of my dreams, my wants, my needs in one tiny body. i’d never, ever leave you. i’d be a fucking fool to ever do that to you, and i’m so sorry i made you think that for one second.”
you sniffled with wide eyes, nodding a little at his words as they soothed you.
“wanted to have this conversation later but i need you to know that you’re it for me, i want you to be mine so badly, been wanting that since the day i saw you walk into that class three years ago.” you all but whimpered at his words, heart beating out of your chest. “i want that too, wanna be yours, want you to be mine.”
“yeah? then i’m yours. all of me.” he promised immediately, kissing your hands again.
your lip began to quiver once more whilst he held you, assuring you sweet promises for the future, ones you knew in your heart he would not only vow to do, but he’d actually complete.
——
two months had passed since his declaration in your apartment and life had truly never been better. jungkook had maintained his vow, and he had shown up in every single aspect of your life. you introduced him to your friends, and he had settled in with ease, whilst you too were introduced to his friends who you often played games with. you had passed your project, getting an A which was beyond your wildest imagination, jungkook celebrating by buying you another plushie. your libido had yet to cool down though, with the two of you indulging in one another every chance you got.
even now, you had your legs up on his shoulders whilst he pounded into you, roughly, his glasses sliding down his nose every few seconds. you had asked him to keep them on, despite the fact they were a nuisance, fragile and fogging up - he just looked so fucking hot with them on.
“feels so good, kook.” you moaned out with an arched back, making him grunt down at you.
“yeah? still so tight. fuck you every day and yet you still can’t take me.”
“too big.” you whimpered with a nod, grabbing his locks with your hands, pulling him in for a hard kiss.
the kiss was sloppy, all tongue and saliva as you made love to one another through your mouths, his cock breaking you with each and every thrust. you needed him in a way that didn’t feel normal - only two months had gone by and yet you were closer than the average couple. your brain was flooded with everything jungkook, jungkook, jungkook. you knew he was it for you.
he wasn’t fairing any better, his crazed obsession for you coming to the surface. the amount of times he’d eaten you out in the library, or fucked your throat before a gaming tournament was beyond anything he could count - constantly wanting to mark you, his possessiveness coming to the forefront. you fucking loved it, you loved letting the world know you were both obsessed with each other.
he had come home to you agitated one night a week ago, knuckles bloody despite being washed and cleaned. you were worried out of your mind before he told you he had fucked your ex up, having come across him on his way to you and taking the opportunity happily. anyone normal would have recoiled, been disgusted even. you? you had ridden him all night, rocking his cock deep inside of you until you couldn’t say anything other than his name.
you’d gone on birth control soon after making things official with him, the feel of condoms annoying you as you craved the feeling of his cum leaking out of you. now, you wouldn’t let him cum anywhere else - even blowjobs being finished over your clit, before he would finger it in. neither of you could get enough of each other.
“feel that baby?” he teased, condescendingly putting your own hand on your stomach. the slight bulge that was forming made your eyes roll to the back of your head, as you drooled slightly, body shaking. “gonna fuck a baby into you. gonna get a good grad job, marry you, move you into a nice home with our family, gonna make sure you’re nice and round for me.”
his words were enough to drive you over the edge, eyes fluttering closed as you both came hard, a norm. soon enough you were both curling into each other, his cock still inside as you panted, rubbing your hands through his hair.
“my girl, were so good for me.”
“hm, always so nice to me, kookie.”
“gotta be nice to my baby.” he grinned down at you. “i love you so fucking much.”
your eyes twinkled. “i love you too.”
after years of secret emptiness, you finally felt whole again, that gaping black space in your chest now filled with the reciprocated love for jungkook. the man who reminded you of your beauty, your worth and joy - the same man that made you believe in love again. at last, you felt happy.
it was the only thing you knew you had always wanted, something you had trained for, excelled at and frankly, loved more than words. coming in every day to the young children who were so starry eyed and excited to play, learn their phonetics and see you felt fulfilling in ways you couldn’t explain to anyone else.
everyone knew you as the sweet, pretty teacher who decorated her classroom with all of her free time. you were a miss honey in the living flesh, with cute dresses and cardigans, your hair falling in even sweeter waves, big eyes hidden away behind a pair of glasses. the only way to really describe you was adorable, you were so easy to love.
you had an adamant rule that you weren’t allowed to have favourites, as it went against every moral code in your heart, but you simply couldn’t help yourself. little arin was perhaps the cutest little four year old you had ever come across, with manners, big sparkling eyes and an even lovelier disposition. you heart practically sang whenever she raised her hand to answer a question, or when you’d see her jumping around so cutely.
tonight was parents evening, and you knew you had a long stretch ahead, with some parents being more difficult to handle than others. you were often blamed for tiny things, and though that was just the life of a teacher, it still stung when you knew you gave it your absolute all. regardless, you put on a brave face as you set up your station in the large hall, watching other teachers do the same.
“you sorted?” your best friend, and colleague, yejin asked beside you, stacks of books propped on her hip as she approached your desk.
looking up, you gave her a grin. “yeah, even put sweets out this year. hope that means everyone’ll be nice this time.”
“i still stand by the fact anyone that can be mean to you is a psychopath.” she scoffed with a shake of her head, pushing a strand away from your face. “you got a big line up?”
“yeah, all the parents are coming. arin’s can’t make it, but i think they said her uncle will be attending instead.” you hummed, propping a sweet in your mouth.
she hummed too, putting her books down at the station beside yours. “lucky. i’ve had three drop outs already. can’t wait for them to get annoyed in two weeks because they feel misinformed on their child’s education.”
you laughed, shaking your head at her typically snarky behaviour.
the next few minutes were dedicated to making sure each of you tables were organised, so that parents could come to you during their allocated slots. yours, of course, stood out from the others, with a meticulous level of care going into all of your decorations. your kids loved coming with their parents for that sole reason, and you found that any tension from the adults were always lessened at the sight of effort being put in.
student books were organised alphabetically so they could have a look through, with examples of some of the work you had been teaching. colourful, phonics flashcards sat bundled in ribbon, with the children’s latest paintings all hung up behind and in front of you.
time began to trickle on rather quickly, with parents coming in and leaving, most polite, asking all of the right questions, but of course some left snide remarks. always something along the lines of their badly behaved children deserved better treatment, or that they wanted more attention, despite you doing every possible thing to do exactly that already.
by the time the night was winding down, you grimaced, looking at the time. it was late, with most teachers having finished up, but you still had one little student left. you reached for her file, heart already fond at the sight of her name.
“your little shadow’s next.” yejin teased quietly to you, packing up her own things.
you smiled with a shake of your head, not looking up as you prepared for your final appointment, crossing something out. you were told two weeks in advance that arin’s parents couldn’t attend, due to some family matter out of town, meaning her uncle would take their place. you couldn’t remember his name for the life of you, jaemin? juyeon? junghwan?
you were pulled from your thoughts as a small shadow loomed over your desk, your eyes peering up to meet large orbs adorned with the shyest of smiles.
“hi miss.” she waved, cheeks already red, cute hair pulled into pigtails similarly to how she always wore it.
“hello sweetheart. your dress looks so pretty!” you cooed, giving her a small high five to which she excitedly jumped to reach, causing you to smile. “mm.. uncle kook bought it yesterday for me.”
“that was so nice of him!” you nodded along, and as she turned in circles to show you properly, another looming shadow appeared.
this time, it completely engulfed you, with the scent of pine and musk hitting your nose almost instantly. your brain took a moment to catch up as it breathed in the intoxicating smell, your own large eyes peering up to meet those who you assumed was arin’s uncle.
oh.
oh.
whatever you had expected..this? this was not it.
dark hair, darker eyes, milky skin with piercings adorning his features, tattoos pouring down his arm as his t-shirt sat comfortably on his body. despite it being oversized, it did nothing to hide the pure size of him - shoulders broader than you had ever seen on anyone, chest puffed, height towering over you with ease.
a nasty part of your brain that you kept hidden away wondered what it would feel like to be between his biceps as he pushed tight.
worst of all, it looked like he was examining you too. you wished you could say he was doing it in a polite way, but with the way his eyebrows were pulled tight, his lips parted, his eyes trailing up and down you slowly, as though he was hungry..there was no civility in the way he devoured you.
you were polar opposites.
you, in your sweet cardigan and flowery skirt, hair tucked behind your ears and glasses pushed up your nose - you were picture perfect, exactly as his niece had described.
when jungkook’s sister had asked him to look after arin whilst her and her husband went to visit her in laws, he was more than happy to do so, loving her more than words. what he hadn’t realised was how excited she’d be to go to school every morning, with minute long rambles about the pretty teacher with the even prettier smile who wore cute dresses and made her hair all nice.
it was hard for his intrigue not to build after a while, especially once she had come one day almost screaming about how badly she wanted a strawberry dress because you too had worn one that day. he had taken her out immediately, closing his tattoo shop, and got to work, scouring every shop until he had managed to score one - to which she demanded she’d get to wear it for parents evening to properly show you.
seeing you now, all doe eyed and heart lipped, jungkook realised you were everything she had described and so much more. oh, you were sweet alright, the seconds long interaction with arin proved enough, but the decorations around you, your outfit, your demeanour, your voice. god, your voice.
you were a fucking problem.
for a moment, neither of you spoke, which in any other circumstance would have been entirely awkward, and yet you both stayed slightly rooted. somehow you both needed those beats of silence to really absorb one another, as though you were both slightly reeling from shock.
a scrape of a chair somewhere in the hall brought you back to life.
“oh..” you pushed your glasses up your nose, cheeks heating as you realised you had been staring. your brain failed to recognise he was still doing so. “i’m sorry..you must be..?”
he nearly grunted at the sound of your voice directed at him, liking it too much already.
“jungkook.”
you wanted to shudder, feeling almost humiliated by the reaction you were having to him. you peered down, watching as he extended his hand almost instantly towards you.
with a slightly shaking touch, your hands connected, his fingers swallowing your own whole. your limb was hidden within his in an almost comical way, your eyes connecting once more as sparks fluttered all over you over a mere touch. you felt like a school girl.
warm, calloused fingers, adorned with tattooes, caressed your own slightly, so gently you wondered whether you were imagining it, although it lasted so briefly. he didn’t let go until it began to border on confusion, slowly dropping your hand just as you spoke.
“miss y/l/n.” you managed.
“i know.” he responded almost immediately.
you didn’t catch the way his hand flexed beside him, still relishing your touch.
of course he knew. he was a man, after all, and after the first few times his niece proclaimed her love for her pretty teacher, his curiosity grew a million. seeing you now, it was very quickly making sense.
it was just something about you. you were lodging under his skin.
arin, oblivious to you both, tugged on his sleeve for his attention, pushing him towards the seats in front of the desk.
something in your chest bloomed at the sight of him so obedient to her, as he immediately listened, sitting down in the much smaller chair. it was endearing to see such an intimidating man folding for her with ease, and even sweeter watching her climb up onto his lap before he had even settled.
his arms caged her in protectively before looking up at you, the two making an adorable duo, something that had your heart utterly melting. she clearly adored her uncle, and he too was enamoured by her.
“well,” you said, forcing yourself back to reality, sitting down and reaching for her work folder. “shall we talk about this little one?”
“please.”
he leaned forward slightly, the change in position causing a small flush on your cheeks. his scent was intense.
“she’s doing beautifully.” you pulled out her phonetic workbook. “especially in reading, she’s picking things up quickly and really showing signs of independence. she’s choosing the books she wants to read, and they’re varying in difficulty which is always great to see.”
arin shyly hid her face in his chest, a sight so adorable you wanted to scream.
you smiled. “why don’t you tell your uncle what word you read all by yourself today?”
a pause. then, quietly..
“caterpillar.”
your smile only grew as you clapped your hands lightly, so pleased with her progress. “yes!”
her smile matched yours before peering up almost excitedly to gage his reaction.
“you didn’t tell me that, bug.”
jungkook was leaning down at her, face so soft, so unguarded, that it was hard to forget he had been looking at you non stop for the past several minutes, as though he was imagining every single possible sin.
“forgot.” she hummed back at him, causing him to laugh quietly, planting a kiss to her nose before murmuring something about how proud he was.
your stomach did something silky at the sound.
god, were you ovulating?
you leaned back, ignoring the flush in your cheeks and the shake of your fingers, pulling out work sheets, early writing, drawings she had made, even the class project she had contributed with. you were surprised at how eager he was, asking questions with genuine care, all whilst arin played with his hands, cuddling into him casually.
“she’s struggling to speak up in groups?” he grunted a little. “only a little, at the beginning. she warms up quickly, but she’s quite hesitant at first.” you nodded.
“is that a bad thing?” he asked quietly, as a means to not let her hear in case it was.
to that, you shook your head immediately. “no, not at all. some children just like to listen first, it’s quite natural. they like to assess before they leap in, it’s a safety thing.”
his eyes met yours once more at that, his lips pursing. “safe.” he repeated.
he tasted the word as though it had kept out of your own mouth and into his own, as though he could savour you with a single 4 letter combination. the way he assessed you then almost made you feel self conscious, as you watched his eyes trickle down from your own, to your lips, your neck, your chest, before trailing all the way back up.
your pulse skipped. your fingers were really restless now.
“her favourite lesson is art by far. her drawings are so sweet, she often takes them home for her parents. she’s working on a big project right now, with some of the older children, for the school library.”
“doing a butterfly, uncle koo.” she murmured, leaping at the opportunity to tell him. “it’s blue and pink.”
“yeah?” he hummed down at her, brushing her hair away from her face. “bet yours is the best one.”
to that she giggled loudly, as though he had said the funniest thing on the planet, a small but sure smirk forming on his face at her reaction. you smiled yourself, finding the two sweeter than most.
“she loves butterflies.” you added softly, as you took out some more drawings. “she tends to go out near the bushes during free play, or she’s near the nature corner trying to rescue something.”
jungkook was fucking enamoured by you. your small little smile, the way your lips pulled back to reveal such sweetness. a guy like him didn’t feel like this - this was odd. unheard of. confusing.
“rescue something?” his eyebrows raised.
“worms, mostly.”
his mouth twitched. “sounds like her.”
arin looked up with a small pout, still playing with one of his silver rings. “one was hurt.”
“i know bug, you told me.” he assured.
“she asked to put it into a shoebox. she brought leaves, twigs, made little breathing holes.”
this earned you a larger smile on his face as he let out a soft laugh, something that nearly had your breath taken away. he completely transformed, as though it was the loveliest thing he had ever heard.
“yeah? did it survive?” there was a teasing tilt to his tone.
“for three lovely days. you held a funeral for mr worm, didn’t you arin?” you hummed lightly down at her, to which she nodded immediately, jungkook closing his eyes momentarily as a huff of amusement left him.
you couldn’t help but watch him almost eagerly as he again, murmured something down at her, to which she smiled bashfully. he was all hard edges, tattooed and pierced, and yet he was putty for his adorable niece.
“she’s sensitive, definitely, which isn’t a bad thing whatsoever but it does mean socially she’s still catching up.” you softly proceeded, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. jungkook watched it. “she’s made some lovely friendships this year, and they’re really solidifying.”
“yeah, she keeps mentioning a yuna..”
you brightened. “yes! they’re really inseparable at the minutes it’s so, so cute!”
“she also tells me she likes when you read stories.” he added.
you blinked at him softly, tilting your head with a slight hum of confusion.
“said something about different voices. she keeps asking me to read her sleeping beauty.”
you let out a soft laugh at that, shaking your head. “some of the girls have been coming in during their play time and asking to be read a book. they’re on a princess kick at the moment.”
to that, he huffed in amusement once more. “yeah, she keeps telling me to get out. something about her prince charming will wake her up.”
“he will.” she grumbled a little quietly in his arms, to which you smiled widely.
“i’m happy you like them.” you redirected, happy that your students were enjoying reading enough to enact it at home.
“curious about these different voices.” jungkook interested, eyebrow raised. “show me.”
“show..you?”
“what, that bad?”
you laughed, unable to hold it in. “dreadful.”
“now i really need to see.” he couldn’t help the mischievous glint in his eyes, still too busy being enamoured by you to stop staring so openly.
“i’m not doing voices at parents evening.” you continued to laugh, shaking your head, but the pink glow on your cheeks gave you away.
“a shame. i’ll be thinking about it tonight.” he murmured casually, as though he wasn’t openly telling you that you’d be on his mind.
your stomach flipped.
before you could even conjure up a response, arin suddenly tugged a folded piece of paper your way, almost buzzing with excitement as she peered up at her uncle momentarily too.
“look, miss!”
you smiled automatically at her, unfolding it with a quiet “what’s this?”, stretching out the paper to see.
and immediately, you froze.
a drawing, one of her many cute ones of course. the sun in the corner a stark yellow, the green of the grass at the bottom alongside the lovely house in the background. in the middle of the paper stood arin, in her cute dress and pigtails, both of her parents by either side, with a large love heart above their heads. what had you shaken, however, were the two figures to the side, also holding hands, one that resembled her uncle a little too well, and the other? one look and you knew that was you.
above you both sat an even bigger red heart.
you couldn’t have even played the plausible deniability card, considering both figured were labelled with a terrible scrawl of “miss” and “koo”, further causing you to inhale sharply.
“arin..” you choked out.
she simply ignored your state, pointing and labelling everything. “this is mummy and daddy and that’s me, and that’s our house and this is you miss, and this is uncle koo and we all live together.” she rambled.
your eyes were widening as you made the mistake of looking up directly to jungkook, unsure of what to say or do. he, however, seemed absolutely enamoured by the picture, focusing directly on the both of you.
“yeah? what’s this, bug?” he asked her, pointing at the massive love heart.
“means love.” she casually snuggled into his chest, as though it was completely normal. in the case of a four year old, that much felt true.
his lips lifted at the corners, in clear satisfaction. “you did good. let’s put it on my fridge when we get home, yeah?”
you let out a small little noise, as though what you were hearing was utter madness disguised in a bow. he was staring at the drawing in a way that had you genuinely confused, as though he was considering it to be a reality, as though he hadn’t just met you mere minutes ago.
as though it represented something so much bigger.
“she likes stories..” you managed, trying to make the mood a little lighter out of embarrassment.
he finally peered up at you, eyes so much darker than usual. “she’s observant.”
you weren’t sure what to say, your shaking fingers now in your lap as yejin quietly watched from the desk over, practically enamoured by the sexual tension radiating off of both of you. you were bewildered, thrown off your professional course as you simply went blank, all thoughts gone of out of the window.
thank god, arin, your saving grace, yawned loudly into jungkook’s chest, pulling you both out of the trance you were ultimately locked in. you watched as he hoisted her onto him more securely, before finally standing up, height completely looming over you in a way that had your gaze slightly glazed over. he wanted to see that look again. desperately.
“thank you for your time. this has been..insightful.” jungkook murmured, just as you stood up, smoothening your skirt.
you were sure your cheeks were on fire at this point, as a mixture of humiliation, curiosity, and frankly, hot need coursed through you at both the sight of him and his words.
“t-thank you for coming.” you stuttered out, nodding lightly, as he simply stood watching you for a few extra moments.
jungkook’s gaze only left yours to trail over you fully now, up and down as though he was savouring the sight of you, his fingers grazing the bottom of your cardigan instinctively, almost desperate to feel the woven strawberries his niece had gushed about so earnestly. he watched your breath hitch, his ego climbing as he realised he had the exact same effect that you were having on him.
oh, he was about to ruin you.
with a good night, you watched him leave, niece resting her chubby face on his shoulder, all whilst you slumped back into your chair, completely exhausted from the interaction. yejin all but leaped towards you, hands on your desk with wide eyes.
“oh. my. fucking. god.” she whispered down at you, to not cause any alarm with other teachers and parents.
you were fucked.
—
the weeks after parents evening were easily some of the most challenging of your adult life so far. to say you were being tested was an understatement, as your integrity of being a teacher came into challenge by none other than jeon jungkook.
you were notified that arin’s parents had to stay back for an additional two weeks, meaning you were seeing him on a minimum twice a day, five days a week. though the interactions were fleeting, both at drop off and pick up time, he took advantage of every seconds.
first came the fleeting touches. he’d watch as you handed the children back to their parent’s, taking the time to speak to each one earnestly, saying your goodbyes to sweet cherubs who would wave eagerly back at you. whenever it was his turn, he watched as your cheeks flushed pink almost immediately, your lips parting, brain malfunctioning in real time.
“pretty dress.” he had said to you once, as his niece bounced over, his fingers lightly grazing your wrist. “i like pink on you.”
“thank you.” you were sure your cheeks were on fire at this point, much to his amusement.
another time, he had grazed his fingers against your wrist, feeling your pulse for a moment too long as you handed him arin’s bookbag, a soft gasp leaving your lips at the contact. judging from his cool and collected demeanour, you assumed he wasn’t as affected as you were, but you couldn’t have been further from the truth.
jungkook’s entire mind had become you. your dresses. your floral perfume. the cute way you’d push up your glasses. there really only was one word to describe you as, and that was adorable - a stark difference to his darker being.
he’d go to work, opening up his tattoo shop, having to take regular breaks during sessions just to smoke a whole fucking pack of cigarettes in hopes you would leave his brain. this wasn’t normal. it wasn’t healthy. he didn’t know you. he didn’t know you. he didn’t know you.
and yet, he knew you. all little arin would do day and night was talk about her lovely teacher, and how excited she was to go to school, how upset she’d be that the weekend was coming. it was hard not to think of someone already stuck in your mind when the world would put them in every direction you’d look in.
he liked hanging back whenever he’d pick her up, too. one time, he had come in late to pick up, the school gate closed, meaning he had to walk through the long way into reception. it took him a while but once he reached your classroom, the sight nearly had him letting out a shaky breath.
his niece, colouring, so adorably, as you cooed down at her, guiding her to do it within the lines, giving her praise all the whilst she beamed.
once he had made his presence known, he stayed behind for another 20 minutes just to speak to you. he wasn’t much of a talker, but he couldn’t help but hover around you, listening as you shyly answered his questions. he felt ridiculous, asking anything just to get your attention, even asking about lesson plans to hear you light up and talk.
jungkook was a domestic man. he didn’t look like one, not with his appearance, all tatted and rough, but he had always wanted a family of his own - one look at you and his breeding kink was already blaring loudly within his ears.
oh, he had big plans for you.
y/n. you’d look good next to him, he thought, all sweet and doe-like. men like him ruined girls like you, but he wanted to be better than that, and be worthy of you. he had his own business, a good place in the city, enough money in the bank to spoil you rotten, a good head on his shoulders. he could offer you stability. could offer you so much and more.
the pair of you were ruined.
half term finally arrived, and it felt like both relief and punishment.
relief, knowing that you were spared jungkook’s presence, allowing your brain to finally exist once more in comfort, without the constant push and pull of how much you wanted him. he had become your personal brand of torture.
punishment, knowing that he was no longer in your presence regularly. arin’s parents had come home earlier than planned, meaning jungkook had simply stopped coming one day, a small frown on your face at the thought.
you had spent the last fortnight in what could only be described as pure anticipation, body learning his schedule before your mind could ever keep up. his heavy presence, his darkening eyes that would watch you with each passing move at exactly 3.15, when the children would finally come out.
he was always on time, always watching, always saying just enough, but never too much. it made it so much worse when you compared it to some of the other dads who flirted casually, openly, directly - jungkook stalked.
there had been the afternoon where he leaned against the doorway to your classroom, watching arin pack up, having stayed behind for an afternoon club. black t-shirt, sweats, hair slightly messy - he looked so good that you had to turn your back to him, leaning up to blutack things onto the wall.
“you always dress like this for work?” he asked you from across the room, heavy gaze following you shamelessly.
you peered over your shoulder nervously. “like what?”
he didn’t respond, tongue in his cheek as he openly checked you out, head tilted before his niece hopped over, shouting out a sweet bye bye to you. you watched as he was pulled away, his eyes hovering over every inch of you, only pulling up to meet your eyes once he was about to properly leave.
you shook your head at the memory.
tonight was different. it felt so much heavier than usual, so much more impactful, and exactly what you needed.
dressed in a dress that was obnoxiously short, you looked at yourself in the club bathroom, eyes dazed, skin slightly sticky from the heat of packed bodies. your body was on show, a complete 180 of what you typically looked like, with alcohol booming through your veins, providing you with a candied reality.
the club pulsed around you as you pulled down your dress at the bottom, pulling your straps up your shoulders to stabilise it over your breasts, you legs on show, your tiny, lacy panties ready to be seen underneath if you even thought of bending over. violet lights sparked in every corner, and though the bathroom was empty, you swore you could still feel everyone around you.
yejin had insisted you go out with her tonight, your other best friend jimin tagging along in the name of a good night.
something along the lines of, “more alcohol and even more bad decisions.”
you had let them dress you, style you, even down to the lack of bra underneath the dress, with him scoffing at the thought, letting out a mutter of how it would ruin the silhouette of the dress.
you were so used to looking like innocence personified that it felt euphoric to finally become sin, and as you entered the club once more, you felt yourself become engulfed in it. you had been here for an hour or so, and already multiple men had hit on you, buying you drinks, going so far as to openly grab you but it did nothing.
none of them compared. none of them were him.
you felt plagued, whining every time your lips touched the rim of a glass, remembering him even in your moment of desperation. you were here to forget him, not to remind yourself of his presence.
oh, but only if you knew.
if only you had looked around you.
if only you had actually opened your eyes.
jeon jungkook rolled his shoulders for the umpteenth time that night, tense, jaw locked and hardened as he watched your scantily dressed body saunter around, hands tied into that of your friends. he watched as you drank your cocktails, rolling your eyes as men tried to approach you, your dainty fingers pushing against their chest with a dismissive look.
who were you?
he hardly recognised you. no, he was used to the strawberry dresses, the flowers you often tucked behind in your ear, the cute dresses that touched your calves, your sweet ballet flats. your eyes would scrunch with each and every smile, head tilting as your hair sat in buns and ponytails.
you right now, however, were not that girl.
there was something sultry imbedded into you, with the way your hair sat so sleek down your back, your skin on show and your giggles hidden behind a manicured hand. god, he had never been harder in his fucking life. his girl, was this really you?
he had every intention of coming to you after half term, to properly ask you out, just like a girl you deserved. seeing you now made his brain malfunction - why the fuck would he wait, when you were right here, right now, all his.
he had been here just as long as you had, and considering this was his friend, jin’s, club, he had been lounging in the vip, nursing a drink. he looked angry, with every person looking at him avoiding him, when in reality he was watching with staggered breath.
there really was nothing casual about the way jungkook watched you.
his friends had long stopped trying to talk to him, with conversations around the vip section becoming static in his ears whilst his world narrowed to the little slip of skin exposed when your dress rose higher as you danced.
he had downed his drink within seconds, with his newest sitting untouched for twenty minutes.
it sat sweating beside his hand, long fingers drumming against the glass, his body restless as he sat, trying to leave you be. he wanted to be respectful. fuck he was trying to do right by you, leave you alone.
namjoon said something, beside him, and yet he couldn’t hear a single word because you were laughing. your head tipped back throat exposed, whilst some stranger took it as ample opportunity to come closer to you, whispering something into your ear.
jungkook’s jaw locked even harder.
“that the teacher?” namjoon asked, with a low whistle as he traced his friend’s eye-line, catching sight of the pretty lady.
he couldn’t answer.
not when you had taken that very moment to turn, and your dress. fuck.
it clung like sin.
all those prim and proper outfit choices felt blasphemous to think about now, especially now that he had seen you in all of your glory. all those sweet, pastel dresses he had spent weeks dreaming about, peeling them off of you inch by inch, were now replaced by the sight of you in front of him, practically naked.
he genuinely couldn’t breathe.
he should have looked away, he owed you that much. instead, his mind became uglier - thoughts of wondering hands, strangled moans, that pretty dress pushed up to your waist. god, he’d ruin you. you’d let him too, from the looks of it.
“you look sick.” jin grumbled as he sat beside his friend, pouring namjoon a drink. “what are you moping about? this isn’t a good look for me, you know.”
“feel worse.” jungkook let out a humourless exhale, rolling his shoulders once more.
the disgusting realisation that he had tried to be good was enough to drive him insane, because that was the problem. he had tried to court you right, respectfully, like you deserved - tried to keep his filthy thoughts of touching something as soft and delicate as you far away, only to walk into a club and find his sweet teacher dressed like every bad thought he had ever had.
he was done. done pretending like he was unaffected, and done pretending like he wasn’t absolutely enamoured by you. he had never felt like this towards anyone in his life, not even the long term relationships he had been in - he didn’t just want you. he wanted to own you.
possessiveness and ownership ran at the forefront of his mind whenever he looked at you, and he knew it was sick, but the part that flickered inside of him whispered into his ear that you wouldn’t mind the idea whatsoever. an even more fucked up part of your mind promised him that you would like it.
every man had his eyes on you and enough was enough. the bartender, the sleazy guys, even the ones with extra money in their pocket - enough. you were his. surely you knew that by now?
he catalogued every single face, making good note of what they looked like before finally standing up in all of his glory, shoulders wide, biceps tense. his chair had lightly scraped, capturing the attention of all of his friends, who watched as he finally began his descent away from the vip section, and right to where you were.
-
you didn’t know where the heat was coming from anymore. the club was warm, the alcohol even warmer as it ran down your throat, rendering you officially tipsy. you were practically on cloud 9, finally able to breathe and enjoy yourself the way you wanted and planned.
something else, however, had began pricking at your senses.
you couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched.
you knew it was ridiculous considering you could actively feel multiple eyes on you, wandering gazes from men who wanted nothing more than to sink their teeth into you but this was different. it felt different.
you tried ignoring it, only to fail, as every few seconds your body kept reacting to something in the unseen, the hidden. your thighs felt restless, your throat tight, your skin far too aware of your surroundings - you blamed it on the tequila.
“you’re flushed!” yejin shouted over the music.
“yeah..i feel really hot.”
jimin laughed. “that’s the point.”
you rolled your eyes at him, pushing his shoulder gently as he twirled you both. you took one last sip of your chilled drink before glancing at the bar.
“i need another.” you groaned, already ready to get drunk, but the lack of liquor was proving to be a problem. “wait, get me one too, i’m about to finish this.” jimin asked, giving you a pearly smile.
you nodded dramatically, before turning to the bar, fighting your way through a sea of people. you could feel hands all over you, and though they weren’t welcome, you weren’t annoyed by them either, as they only added the euphoric state of your mind. you moved around people in a blur of neon and heat, lights flashing down on you harshly before you managed to get to the bar finally.
bass thudded through the floor, so much so that you could feel it in your heels, and through your ribs. you squeezed up to the bar, solidifying yourself a place before politely calling out to one of the bartenders.
nothing. he completely ignored you, causing you to frown, trying once more, earning a passive look before he turned to serve someone else.
you pouted, head tilting in a mixture of tipsied offence and confusion. “rude..”
before you could even conjure up anything else, or try again for that matter, you felt something against you.
a large body pressed against yours, tightly, to which you could feel every ridge, every bite of muscle engulfing you in that very moment until you could do nothing else other than simply gasp. you froze, breath held in your chest, as you watched two large arms snake from either side of you, caging you meanly into the bar with no escape.
you would have recognised those tattoos anywhere.
you froze, your breath completely stalling as you were crowded completely against the bar edge, your front pressed harshly, whilst your back was pushed against heated skin. you were crowded, deliberately, intentionally.
pine. musk. him.
your lips parted before your brain could keep up, just as you felt breath touch your ear.
“that pout for him?”
your knees nearly buckled.
your shaking hands pushed back against him just slightly, enough to turn in his arms and see for your own two eyes whether this truly was a reality. big mistake.
you stood face to face with jungkook, his head dipped low, eyes capturing your own almost instantly. his tattoos were so much clearer under neon lights, his piercings glinting, his eyes so dark, his shoulders so wide. you genuinely couldn’t comprehend this. couldn’t fathom he was here, capturing you so no one else could have a look.
claiming you.
he looked almost offended by how beautiful you looked in that moment, all starry eyed and heart lipped.
“jungkook.” your voice came out shaky, breathless even, so much smaller than intended.
his gaze dragged over your face visibly. over your eyes, down to your nose, dragging against your lips, grunting once he looked down at your body, before coming all the way back up to meet your stare once more.
“baby.”
your stomach flipped so hard you gripped the bar behind you harshly.
“what..what are you doing here?”
his jaw clenched. “watching you.”
no embarrassment, no shame - he said it like a well known fact. it should have unsettled you, and yet, you felt a shaking exhale leave you.
“how long?” you dared to whisper, causing him to push you harsher against the bar, your bodies so intimately pressed against one another. “all night.” he whispered, head dropping down to meet the shell of your ear.
the hands at either side of you now came forwards, fingers grabbing at your waist, pushing you that last cm into him, meaning your own hands came up press against his chest, all whilst his head sat almost touching your own, eyes unable to look away from one another.
he was touching you. intimately.
before either of you could speak again, jungkook broke eye contact, looking behind you as the bartender finally decided to appear. one look at jungkook and he was gulping, recognising him as the owner’s best friend, immediately giving you both the highest of attention.
“what do you want, pretty girl?”
pretty girl?
in that voice?
you forgot every fucking drink in existence.
“i..” your mouth open and fell, looking down at your hands on his chest, flexing your fingers gently, before your eyebrows furrowed. “that gone already?” he asked you in mild amusement.
you flushed hard.
“vodka soda, please.” you tumbled out, holding him delicately.
he ordered for both of you, swiping his card with ease, not even sparing you a second glance during payment. it was only when the bartender moved away to make the drinks that you realised he had stayed where he was exactly, with no intention of moving back, still pushing your body against him intimately. now that you were touching him back, his chest flexed under your hands.
the music swallowed everything but him.
a hand let go of one side of your waist, instead reaching up to cup your chin, fingers wrapping around your neck also, to tilt your head upwards. he was examining you still.
“missed this face.” he hissed quietly underneath his breath, causing you to flutter your eyelashes up at him, stomach swirling with butterflies. “look at me when i talk to you.”
your gaze met his once more, forced as his hand tightened around your neck, causing you to practically slump against him. you liked it, liked it a little too much - the feeling of almost feeling powerless at the hands of a man who had been on your mind the day you met him at parents evening.
your thighs pressed together.
“do you know,” he began, sounding thoughtful, so soft, “how many men have been looking at you tonight?”
your pulse jumped as his mouth dipped close to your ear, letting out a gentle little, “hm?”
“nearly dragged one outside for touching you.”
a cocktail mixture of heat, confusion arousal and fear jolted through your nervous system, as you found yourself letting out a shaky breath. “why?”
“because i’ve been trying so fucking hard to be good for you, y/n.” he hissed then, almost sounding in pain.
his words hit like a tidal wave, as you desperately tried to catch up, fingers now digging into his skin beneath his t-shirt hidden chest.
his thumb pressed into your jaw, forcing your face higher. “tried real hard, pretty girl.” his voice was low enough to not be carried by the music, an ode to you and you alone. “thought you were a good girl. thought you deserved a man to do this right.”
he leaned closer, just as your lips parted.
“tried to wait until half term ended, give you some space to think.” his eyes shut tight for just a second, as though reminiscing his once plan. “was gonna come to you with flowers like some fucking gentleman, take you out, walk you home. was gonna do all that sappy shit ‘cause you deserve it.”
the words sounded sinful in his mouth, but the imagery in your head was enough to have you whimpering openly. the thought of him, jungkook, so enamoured by you, more than what you thought. you were so sure this was one sided regards to the way you felt, and yet here he was, declaring it to you in front of others.
“but then i walk in here,” his eyes deliberately ran down your shaking body. “and find you wearing this.”
you gulped almost nervously. “do..you not like it?”
“more than just like it, baby. fucking love it.” he hissed, offended by your thought track. “problem is every other bastard in this place is looking at you too. drives me fucking insane.”
your eyes left his, trying to catch your breath, so overwhelmed by everything around you - the thump of the music, the flashing lights, the heat, the proximity. he watched you, examining you in detail, recognising every single emotion on your pretty little face.
his thumb dipped, touching your bottom lip, dragging it gently over until it pulled, his eyes trained solely on your mouth. “you’re in my head. can’t get you out.” he admitted quietly, for you to hear and you alone.
the sentiment was not lost on you, as something inside your stomach, soul and mind broke at the prospect. you had assumed he had a roster of girls, that he was using you almost as placeholder because of convenience - this..this wasn’t what you had expected.
knowing he felt the same way as you, equally as confused, equally as enamoured; it felt like confirmation that you weren’t going insane. the magnitude of your feelings, no matter how sudden, felt heavy in your body. to know he was feeling the same, despite his usually quiet and reserved self made you want to scream in joy.
“i can’t stop thinking about you either.” you whispered, so faint that he wouldn’t have heard you had his eyes not watched your lips part.
that alone, was the confirmation jungkook needed as he suddenly pulled away, giving you and your body space. the look on his face was devastating, as though you had said the one thing that could truly undo him, his hands shaking as they released you, running them both through his hair messily - he looked ruined and you had only said a single phrase.
you blinked up at him, dazed.
“jungkook..”
“don’t.” his voice came out rough.
he sounded strained, as though his entire resolve was now left hanging on a thread. his jaw ticked at you openly as he stared and stared and stared, looking away momentarily as though he was thinking, wanting nothing more than to be good to you, be the gentleman he knew you deserved. he needed to be.
and yet, he lost.
he looked back at you, face eerily calm as he took both of your hands and pulled once more, your body pulled against him. fingers intertwined as he brought the back of your own to his lips in a sudden sweet kiss. “come with me.”
your breath caught for the millionth time that interaction. “where?”
“somewhere i can think.” he let out a humourless little laugh, all disbelief.
any rational person would have asked more questions, clarified what was going on, why he seemed so undone by you and your tiny dress, but frankly, you didn’t care. you were utterly captivated by him, and having his attention like this felt addicting, like a class a drug created entirely for you.
so, instead, you nodded.
jungkook began to lead you, body close to yours, creating a path with ease. his hands never left yours, steadying you as you stumbled a little, making sure you were good as people watched you both, men ogling you and women ogling him. you managed to catch yejin’s gaze, who had a beaming smile on her face once she recognised who you were with, animatedly pointing at jungkook with a big thumbs up, making you flush even deeper than you had all night. thankfully, jungkook seemed to stay ignorant of it.
heat ran down your spine as he took you left, walking past security who nodded at him, opening up a pair of doors that seemed inaccessible to a large majority of the people here. your eyebrows furrowed slightly as you were led up a set of stairs, private, dimly lit, the music growing quieter with each passing step.
the club noise completely muffled to a dull noise, leaving your heartbeat as the loudest noise around you.
jungkook was ahead of you, broad shoulders filling the space in front in a way that made you want to moan. fuck, he was just so big all over, it was one of the most attractive things about him - he didn’t even need to try, just being around him made you safe.
halfway up the stairs, he suddenly stopped, your fingers still locked with his.
your front brushed his back as you walked into him slightly.
you watched as he turned to face you, the cool air of the staircase easing your body’s heated temperature whilst his state did nothing to sedate the growing fire in your stomach. you peered up, watching as he stepped down, pushing you against the railing gently, dipping his own head down so he could breathe in your scent like a mad man.
“you have any idea what you’re doing to me?”
dark eyes, wrecked. he looked sinful, utterly dangerous for the space between your legs.
to his question, you merely bit your lip, nibbling on it. he watched, eyes tracing the action with a harsh sense of affection - his sweet teacher was still there, it seemed, simply hidden underneath smoky eyes and bare legs.
“gonna take you upstairs, y/n.” he whispered softly. “i’m gonna treat you exactly like i wanted from day one, like i should have. need to know you’re coming because you want me too.”
it was your turn to almost take offence, with your eyebrows pulling tight. your shaking hands became confident, resting on his chest, fingernails digging slightly into skin to mark your territory.
“want you. wanted you from day one too, jungkook.” you promised him, big eyes fluttering in a way that wanted him to take you then and there.
a beat of silence stretched between you.
you watched as he shut his eyes, exhaling lightly, before pulling forward and pressing his lips faintly to your jaw, grazing it as an almost promise to you - he wouldn’t let you regret your choice.
pulling away, he let out a breath, before taking a hold of your hand once more, also pressing a kiss to it as he led you up the rest of the way, this time with an assured sense of urgency.
he opened the door to the private room, and your eyes pulled back in both a mixture of awe and intrigue. you had never been in a place like this, adorned with such lavish furniture, a private bar, a lounging area where a few guys sat around, some of them talking to girls, all whilst jungkook began leading you to another door across the room. all eyes were on you, and you realised these were clearly his friends, from the way they all either smiled politely at you or smirked at jungkook openly.
as he pulled you into an additional room, you watched as he locked it behind you, to ensure a level of privacy, only for you to turn, your stomach dropping in pure anticipation.
a large bed.
the sight of it nearly had you moaning out as it confirmed every thought in your head, your legs growing weak, thighs desperately pushed together at the understanding of what was going to happen. it was all you had been able to think about for weeks.
the thought of him being just as desperate as you, bringing you here just to ruin you, despite having played the gentleman for the entirety of the time you’d known him - your ego bloomed at the thought of having a man like jungkook so down bad for you.
you could hear footsteps behind you, breath hitting your shoulder as his head dipped, breathing in your perfume once more. his body pressed against yours meanly, your back to his front, against him in ways where you could feel him intimately.
“sweet girl.” he hummed just as you looked over your shoulder, meeting his heavy gaze.
he had the faintest of smirks on his face as he read you like a book, a fucked out expression over you and he hadn’t even touched you properly - oh the fun he was about to have. his hands grabbed onto your waist, pushing you lightly as he led you forward, all the whilst planting pepper kisses to the back of your neck.
your small little dress began to ride up as you were plopped onto the bed, bouncing lightly as he stood, hovering over you, looking at the lace of your panties that was now visible, a dampened patch inbetween your legs that had his cock visibly straining against his jeans. his mouth salivated at the sight.
“the things i want to do to you, baby.” he sighed, as your face sat crotch level for him, your gaze fluttering over him in anticipation.
“then do it.” you whispered, almost taunting him, desperate to see him break in front of you.
for a moment, neither of you spoke, simply staring at one another, until he suddenly lunged for you.
you gasped as you scurried backwards on the bed, just as he hovered over you, pinning you down harshly on the plush covers, watching the way you sank in comfortably. he grabbed your arms, pinning them above your head, leaning down to press his head against yours.
he looked possessive by definition, lips curled in almost snarl as he breathed you in, your eyes fluttering closed at the feel of him already so intimately against you. one of his knees separated your legs, cold air hitting the wetness between your thighs, to which he grunted lightly at.
“my good girl. gonna let me ruin you forever, baby? no going back after this, you’ll be mine.”
to that, you nodded almost instantly, hips bucking upwards to get any sort of friction. “please..want it.”
how could he deny his girl?
his lips dropped against yours immediately, claiming harshly.
lips moved in unison as you immediately moaned into his mouth, causing him to groan as he felt you utterly melt. your hands, pinned against your head, were pliant against his own fingers as his lips claimed you, kissing you like a man starved, all whilst grinding down on you for friction.
you could feel how hard he was, how much bigger he was than you in this position and it made your brain malfunction, realising that he truly had every intention of breaking you tonight, just like you wanted.
soon enough, his tongue demanded entry into your mouth, to which you allowed, feeling him explore you in ways that had you whimpering at the thought of it between your legs. it was like he could read your mind, applying further pressure between your legs, the noises leaving you enough to render him dead on the spot.
once he pulled away to let you breathe, he watched as a thin string of saliva separated you, the sight enough to have most cumming in their pants. he couldn’t wait, couldn’t be rational, not when you were here, moaning for him, grinding, desperate to be touched by no one else other than him.
immediately, he sat up, watching as you propped yourself up on your elbows, lips slightly bruised.
he leaned over, grabbing your dress and pulling it up almost meanly, pushing it over your waist and to your stomach, causing you to crash back down on the bed, your hands shaking as they looked for something to grab.
“fuck.” he elongated, groaning loudly at the sight inbetween your legs.
pretty, lacy and tiny. your panties did nothing to hide how wet you were, as they sat completely soaked against you, desperate to be peeled off, hungry to be touched. he immediately positioned himself between your legs, grabbing either thigh before yanking you down to meet him, a squeal leaving your lips at his harsh actions.
“look at you, y/n.” he hissed, nose brushing against your clothed pussy immediately, breathing in the scent. “j-jungkook!” you squeaked, hands flying to his hair in almost embarrassment, as you watched him simply grunt against you like a pervert.
“a good man would be gentle with you..” he whispered underneath his breath, planting pepper kisses to anything he could get his hands on. “but i can’t do that baby. you understand, right?”
“don’t want you to be gentle.” you immediately shook your head in a whimper. “wanna feel you properly.”
that was all he needed. confirmation from his girl that she wanted it just as nasty as he wanted to give it to her - you really were a match made in heaven.
and so, he pushed your panties to a side, blowing against your pulsing clit for a second as he admired how fucking pretty your pussy looked like this, before utterly devouring you.
you let out a loud squeal, hands flying to his hair almost immediately as jungkook began eating you out like a man starved. your poor clit was being abused by his mouth as his sucked, licked, traced and bit, making you feel very inch of his emotions towards you.
you bucked your hips into him, desperate to get away from the overwhelming emotion, but he kept you pinned, grunting loudly at you each time you tried to pull apart. instead, you were resolved in pulling at his strands harshly, crying out his name despite knowing that everyone outside the room could probably hear you.
fuck, he knew you would taste good. one look at you and he knew you were candied all over, but this? how could he ever live without a taste of your pussy now that he was here? the way your thighs trembled violently, your core leaking, all whilst he played with you.
he relaxed one of your thighs with his hand before his fingers began prodding at your entrance, his eyes looking up to capture your own just as he inserted one, watching the way it scrunched up in a mixture of pleasure and shock.
“fuck, jungkook!”
the call of his name on your tongue as he gave you no time to adjust was euphoric, pumping his digit in and out, in and out, in and out as he suckled on your clit like a mad man. soon enough, he couldn’t help himself, inserting another whilst you whimpered about it being too much, only causing him to scoff against you.
“gotta be able to take my cock, pretty girl. need this pussy stretched out.”
you bucked your hips into him further at his words as he set a relentless pace, so deep, fingertips curling every chance he got. sure you had played with yourself, and had boyfriends touch you, but this was on another level. no man had ever made you moan so loudly, always having to fake orgasms and get off privately after but this? you realised there was no way you could let jungkook out of your life, not if your pussy craved this exact feeling forever.
“you’re so good to me. taste so good.” he groaned, all but making out with your pussy, your slick dripping from his chin. “don’t know how long i’ve wanted to do this.”
“wanted this too.” you whimpered back.
“yeah?” he scoffed, sucking, pumping. “i should’ve ate you out on your desk like i wanted. should have made you lock the door and kept your mouth full.”
“y-you can still..fuck..still do that.” you promised him, moaning uncontrollably at this point, scratching at his shoulders, at the sides of his face, anything you could get your hands on.
to that, he grunted, sucking particularly harshly on your clit. “yeah? you want me to do that, baby?”
you couldn’t respond. not when you were already close, already feeling something build in your stomach that you knew would ruin you for the rest of your life - three weeks and he had managed to outdo any man in your life thus far, and you paled to imagine the thought of not having him after this. not when his fingers pumped so meanly, tongue circling only to suck even meaner, causing your legs to shake uncontrollably around him.
“k-kook..m’gonna cum.” you managed to choke out, but it was like he couldn’t hear you, only going harsher, more eager, more desperate, his own hips grinding against the bed to feel some relief.
white, hot light soaked through you as your hips lifted off of the bed, a loud and choking squeal escaping just as your orgasm finally hit you. you could feel it run up and down your veins, coursing through you harder than any other time in your life, clenching around his fingers in a tight clamp. jungkook choked at the feeling, eyes shutting tight before opening up immediately to watch you orgasm for him, body shaking, whining and crying.
he continued to pump, not caring that you were a bundle of oversensitivity until you began slapping at his shoulders desperately to get him to stop. he listened, although reluctant, pulling away from the space between your legs with a small pant, your panties in his hands as he pushed them into his back pocket.
he was so much more perverted than you thought, and yet you liked it. yearned for it even, enjoying it beyond belief as you watched one another pant. you were dazed, eyes completely glossed over with a sense of need you had genuinely never felt before, watching as he pulled you up from your perched position.
you felt his hands on your dress, helping you remove it, unzipping and pulling it above your head, whilst you yanked at his own t-shirt, desperate to have him as bare as you. he couldn’t help the small smile at your actions, loving how needy you were now that you had cummed - god, you were so adorable.
soon enough, all that was left between you were his boxers, to which, you let out a pretty little sigh at the sight. he was big, too big for sure, but the print of him so harshly pressed against his boxers had you oozing between your legs once more, looking up at him almost shyly.
“dunno, kookie..i-i..don’t think you’ll fit.” you admitted honestly, the use of such a cute nickname doing something to him as he immediately hovered over you again, pressing kisses to your lips hungrily. “gotta make it fit, right baby? just need to take it.”
you nodded at him, so pliant in every way, his submissive doll. god, he felt like he was corrupting you, and yet he knew you were also leaving your mark on him too.
he wanted nothing more than to fuck your throat, but he knew he wouldn’t last, and so, he pulled down his boxers quickly, pumping his cock with one hand, pushing your hair away with the other. he asked you to lift your legs for him, to which you did sweetly, revealing your messy pussy once more, a slow breath escaping him.
he ran the tip of his cock up and down your core, collecting slick, just to see your expression. you were propped up on your elbows, watching him with an open mouth, a blissed out expression appearing everytime he nudged your sensitive clit, loving the feel of something so much larger than his fingers ruin you already.
“big breath.” he whispered down at you, as he began to push inside, watching the way your elbows gave out, your head falling plush to the pillows.
you grabbed onto his arms, letting out a loud, broken moan as the tip of his cock stretched you out wide, pushing deeper and deeper inside of you until you could genuinely feel him in your stomach. he wasn’t deterred by your nails digging into him, causing his skin to break, only further thrusting inside of you until he was fully inside, eyes never leaving yours.
watching the way you struggled to keep your eyes open, whimpering, shaking, yanking him down to you whilst also pulling at his hair, grabbing at his skin. god, he was going insane. he couldn’t breathe, not with you gripping him so tightly, not when he was completely inside you and still wanted to feel so much closer than what he already was.
“too big.” you whimpered out with a quivering lip, as he panted above you, pressing kisses to your face. your cheeks, your nose, your eyes, your lips - his angel girl. “doing so good for me baby, fuck. look at you.”
he took one of your hands, kissing it before pressing it against your own stomach so you could feel the slight bulge, your eyes rolling to the back of your head.
the mixture of pain and pleasure was utterly addicting, as though this was the one thing you had needed, craved even, without realising. how were you ever supposed to live without it now that you’d had a taste?
a whine was pulled from you as he suddenly pulled back, and gave you a thrust, skin slapping against skin almost immediately. he did it again, and again, and again, and again, until you were finally moaning, squealing each time he pushed back down on your stomach so you could feel him even deeper.
soon enough, he was setting a pace, thrusting j in and out of you, the sounds of your moans and his grunts filling the space, echoing out to the rest of the vip section.
you were usually a reserved person but even you couldn’t bring yourself to care, feeling utterly gone in the hands of a man you barely knew. this wasn’t like you, it was uncharacteristic - even your past boyfriends and flings were soft with you, equally as quiet and hesitant. jungkook went against everything you had ever known with his rough thrusts and harsh kisses, even the way he declared his interest for you felt too loaded to be deemed normal.
“so good to me.” he grunted into your ear as he began to set a faster pace, your moans echoing against the four walls, your eyes shutting tight. “fuck, fuck, fuck.” you whined out, legs widening for more.
the sound emitting from you both were downright sinful, as the tension of the past few weeks finally exploded between you both, jungkook fucking you like a man with a mission. his head rested against your own, hips ploughing into yours, cock all but bullying your poor pussy into submission as your lip continued to quiver, it all beginning to feel like too much and not enough.
“you’re so perfect.” he hissed. “you’re driving me insane. i can’t fucking think anymore, can’t..fuck, lift your hips..can’t do my job, can’t eat, can’t sleep. just you, all of the time.”
he sounded angry, as though you were genuinely plaguing him when all you had done was simply exist, doing nothing more than orbiting his life. it was enough to drive a man like him to ruins, as he realised very quickly that he had no intention of operating his life without you as his.
his words were ruining you too, as tears began to climb to the surface, only to flood and escape just as quickly as they formed. you were so overwhelmed by him, in the greatest of ways, and his delectations for you - you had never been desired so greatly, so openly, without any care of what it seemed like. it was obsessive, darkly so, and any other woman would have been smart enough to push him away. unfortunately for you, you simply spread your legs, begging him to go deeper.
“that’s it, baby. cry for me.” he cooed, genuinely enamoured by how sweet you were underneath him.
you raised your arms, wrapping them around his neck as he cupped your body, pulling you up so that he was practically fucking you off of the bed. you wanted to get closer. wanted to feel closer, even though it wasn’t even possible.
“feels so good.” you whined at him through hiccups, to which he nodded down at you, chest inflating, knowing he was bringing you pleasure. “yeah? like it when i fuck you open, my sweet girl?”
“wan’it all the time.” a sob almost tore out of your throat at the thought, the possibility even.
guys like him and girls like you, they didn’t make sense. you were too soft, too gentle, too understanding. he was rough all over, uncaring half the time with his words, mean by nature. lord knew that one taste of you had confirmed he would spend a lifetime changing that if it meant he could keep you for a second longer, especially with the way you were looking up at him with the sweetest of faces. how could he not be enamoured?
he let out a shaking breath, gripping you. this wasn’t normal, he knew that, fuck he was so aware it killed him - not even a month of knowing you and he couldn’t fathom not having this, not when you were everything he had ever secretly wanted. he knew you were the same too, with the way you were babbling, gripping onto him, your high approaching already but he didn’t want you cumming just yet, not when he had just started.
and so, he slowed his thrusts until he finally came to a halt, a loud, desperate whine echoing from the walls as you hit his chest. “why?”
instead, he grinded into you, making you feel every inch, every vein on his too big cock, just to see you squirm, just to see you shake.
“you’re mine, y/n. my girl now, you hear me?” he whispered down at you, face void of any emotion other pure, fucking devotion.
your quiet sobs only began to grow louder as you nodded earnestly up at him, fingers shaking once they finally locked into his hair once more, grabbing, pulling. “your girl.”
“my girl.” he repeated, panting as he began pick up his pace again. “fuck, the things i want to do to you.”
he smacked your ass harshly, the sound echoing around the room, hitting that sweet spot inside of you over and over until all you could feel were the shooting sparks trailing over your aching figure, your limbs curling around him desperately.
“do them. i want them all.” you begged him, hips lifting. “wanna feel you all the time, kookie.”
“yeah? kookie’ll do anything for you, baby. anything you ask for, i don’t give a fuck, it’ll be yours, you understand?” he was panting, voice harsh, almost mean. “this tight pussy was made for me.”
you let out the cutest “mhm” to confirm, knowing that his words were factual. his words rolled in your head, knowing you belonged to him both mind and body was beyond euphoria, but to know he truly meant it - fuck. it was insanity. this was genuine, unadulterated insanity.
soon enough, your positions had changed, as he bullied his cock back into you as you sat on top, your load moans heard by anyone close by. the feeling was unlike anything you had ever felt before, and though you had been stretched, jungkook choked at the feeling of how tightly you were clamping him.
he watched as you rode him, letting you take it at your own pace, your tits bouncing with every thrust. his bunny. you were too cute in this position, and as he sat up, his back against the headboard, he couldn’t fathom how sweet you looked trying to pleasure both yourself and him.
it wasn’t about the pace, it was about the effort. you put your all into everything, and despite him wanting to break you, it was this that had him coming undone in his mind. his girl, bouncing on a cock that barely fit earlier, ignoring the pain, completely overcome by the unbearable pleasure, rubbing her own clit.
“just like that.” he grunted, chest rising and falling as he watched you eagerly, his hands teasing your nipples. “such a good girl. just wanna feel good, don’t you? bouncing on my cock like a fucking slut.”
you clamped down hard on him at the name, liking it way more than you ever thought you would. “n-not..a slut.”
“yeah you fucking are. my slut, creaming on my cock like a whore.” he hissed, one hand coming up to grab and tighten around your throat, as he began to take charge, thrusting up and into you.
your eyes began to haze over, completely gone at the feel of him snapping into you.
“want you like this always. no thoughts in that pretty head, just taking it.”
your sobs only grew louder as his hand tightened on your neck, the lack of oxygen heightening your emotions. when he released you momentarily, you gulped in a large breath as his thrusts only hit harder, your ass bouncing against him with lewd noises echoing around the room.
you could feel it coming, your high rising in the pits of your stomach as you collapsed into his arms, falling forward to which he caught you almost immediately, not halting his movements even once. he cupped your face to his, cooing at you gently, pressing sweet kisses to your lips as though you were the prettiest thing he had ever fucking seen.
“gonna’cum.” you slurred, completely fucked out and cock drunk at this point as he completely wrapped his arms around you to trap him to his chest.
“fuck, me too baby. where do you want it?” he hissed, body marked from all of the scratches you had been leaving on him, sore cuts having formed.
you hiccuped as you met his gaze, lips glazing his. “inside. want you to cum here.”
your hand took a hold of his as you lead it to your pussy, where you were joined, the ploughing of his cock doing nothing to ease the restlessness of your mind. his breath caught at your words, wanting nothing more and yet never ever in a million years assuming you’d like the same. you weren’t even using protection, just fucking raw like rabid animals and hoping for the best.
what would be the worst case scenario? the thought of you pregnant had him seizing up, his balls full and ready to unload at the prospect of you carrying his child. he didn’t really give a fuck if it was too soon, or if you barely knew one another - he knew what he wanted. known it for years, and now that you were in front of him, begging for him to cum inside? he’d give you everything you wanted.
“yeah? want kookie to get you nice and round? get you pregnant?”
you hated the effect of his words as you nodded eagerly, matching his thrusts as a means to get exactly that.
his jaw became slack at the enthusiasm on your face, grunting loudly as he felt you clamp on his cock one last time, letting out a too loud squeal as you finally came.
hot, flashing white obscured your vision as you closed your eyes, electricity running up and down your veins, a final, devastating whimper escaping your bruised lips. your legs shook around him, your pussy clenching harshly to the point he choked, gripping you tightly, feeling his own orgasm wash over him.
you both fucked back into each other to ride out your highs desperately, with a mixture of lips clashing, moans shared between embrace, skin still slapping against skin. only when you wined out of overstimulation did he finally stop, chest heaving, arms still caging you.
the minutes after blurred into the quiet buzz, and music that could faintly be heard from downstairs. your eyes closed as you let him manoeuvre you, soft kisses being planted on every inch of you, sweet nothings whispered into the confinements of your ear as though they belonged to you, and you alone. your heart inflated at the way he brushed your hair out of your face, keeping you full with his cock with no intention of pulling out.
“did so good for me, baby.”
you almost shyly hid your face in his neck, slightly embarrassed by how intimate the situation now was with the absence of sexual tension. he wasn’t deterred, instead smiling down at the way your cheeks heated up at his attention, a quiet huff of amusement leaving him.
“i meant it by the way.” he hummed, positioning you so you were more comfortable, all whilst his cum leaked on either side of his cock, still stuffed inside of you. “you’re my girl, yeah?”
it was your turn to smile up at him, not bothering to respond but instead, press a soft kiss to his lips in confirmation.
all his.
—
end of term performances were the bane of your living existence. the children were stressed, the teachers were stressed, everything required a level of attention and meticulous care to the very last second all in hopes of pleasing parents. it felt excessive at times, but seeing your students up on stage, so adorably singing their hearts out just as they’d rehearsed did something to your brain that you utterly adored. it was all worth it in the end.
you stood, just behind the parents, in a corner of the room, watching the performance in front of you with a soft smile, holding up a thumbs up whenever one of your children looked at you for support. they were all performing beautifully, and judging from the fact there seemed to be not a dry eye in the sea of parents, you were pretty proud of yourself.
your stomach, however, was filled with butterflies at the sight of jungkook sat, alongside arin’s parents, only a few rows in front of you. you’d recognise your boyfriends shoulders anywhere, with his towering height and bigger build - even calling him that made you want to giggle into your own hands like a school girl.
the days following the club felt like a fever dream. he had cleaned you up, taken you home and stayed with you all night, leaving only reluctantly due to work commitments. he texted you as much as you needed, knowing you were an overthinker, always checking in on you, facetiming you more times than you could even count.
it had only been two months since that night but things were rapidly progressing between you. it was pretty clear to both of you that this wasn’t a normal relationship, and that the feelings you both shared for one another were intense to say the least. you felt insane half of the time, almost too scared to tell him the depth of your feelings for him, and yet jungkook had no qualms about it whatsoever.
whether you were in his arms, or over a call, or even stuffed full of his cock - he took every opportunity he got to tell you how deeply he wanted you - no, needed. you often came into the tattoo shop after your own shifts just to spend time with him, where he’d feed you, hold you, breathe in your scent.
you had met all of his friends, and his family, including arin’s parents who were quite literally over the moon over jungkook’s choice of partner. everyone who would meet you couldn’t believe he had managed to get someone so different, and despite being a ladies man, you were the definition of a keeper.
little arin had practically exploded at the confirmation you would be in her life in a more intimate way, constantly asking if you could come over to her house to play now that you were uncle kook’s girlfriend.
it all felt like a massive whirlwind of events, some that felt too fantastical to really be a reality. yejin teased you with every passing moment, until you had set her up with one of jungkook’s friends, jin, who owned the club. that resulted in her coming into work rather disheveled, clearly having showered and dressed in a hurry as she took you into your empty classroom to unload all of the dirty experiences.
it seemed that you were happy in every facet of your life, in ways you genuinely didn’t think were possible. even stood here as you admired the back of his head, you could feel your cheeks heating up, harbouring a soft smile you hid behind one of your hands.
soon enough, the performance was over, the children collected by their parents, all singing one another’s praises whilst you made your way to your classroom, humming underneath your breath. it was late and you just wanted to finish off a few bits and bobs before making your way back home.
you bent over a pile of finger paintings, hair pulled up into a messy bun to get it out of your face, your lip bitten. you just needed to pin a few up before you left, humming quietly as you gathered everything you needed, climbing up your step stool.
you leaned upwards, wobbling slightly as you almost lost your footing, a small squeak leaving your lips. before you could move an inch, two hardened hands grabbed you by your waist, positioning you back properly.
looking down, you met the gaze of your boyfriend, who was looking up at you in amusement.
“oh! i thought you left.” you blushed pink, embarrassed at being so clumsy in front of him.
“wanted a kiss.” he simply responded, before picking you up with ease, putting you back on the ground to actually face him.
the giggle you let out was one he was growing to love more and more with each passing day as you leaned upwards, pressing a small peck to his lips. he grunted, causing you to leave a few more, not wanting to have a full blown make out session at your workplace despite doing it so often at his. perks of being the boss.
“where do you want this?” he asked, taking the paintings out of your hands, barely stretching his hands up for the same space you had to climb just to reach.
fuck. you hated how attractive that was.
“thank you.” you pressed another kiss to his back once you had informed him, shuffling away to clean the rest of your station.
“you were good with them today. couldn’t stop watching you, think arin probably noticed.” he laughed a little underneath his breath once he had finished up, walking over to you. he slung his arms around your waist, pulling you in so your back sat flushed against his front. “didn’t think it’d make my brain go crazy.”
“what’d you mean?” you hummed, fingers tracing his fingers.
“is it too soon to get you pregnant?” he asked openly, causing you to gasp out loud, slapping his arm in protest at such crude language.
“kookie!”
he couldn’t help the smirk as he watched you flush bright red, the giggles that left you a clear indication of how you really felt.
“what? can you blame me?”
“you can’t talk like that.” you murmured through a shy smile, despite his kisses coming to attack you on your neck, jaw and cheek.
he leaned, forehead against yours, the moment oddly intimate. more intimate than anything else you’d ever really known, and yet that seemed to be a norm with him. he planted kisses to your face, anywhere he could access, as though nothing was enough and yet he wanted more and more and more and more.
“okay, help me just organise these drawings and then we can go home.” you teased, to which he nodded immediately, a man made pliant by the woman in his life.
you handed him a portion, whilst you did the rest, organising them in alphabetical order so it was easy to access tomorrow when you handed them back out to parents. you continued your smooth hum from earlier as you both worked respectively, the quiet between you welcomed and comfortable.
as you completed yours, you noticed jungkook, furrow in his brow as he stared at one openly in his hands. he was examining it in great detail, causing a pearl of curiosity to burn in your mind.
“what’ve you got there?”
he didn’t answer, as you walked over for yourself, cheekily sliding under his arm so you could view it within the confinements of his warmth. his expression shifted as one of his hands immediately took a hold of you, a too large hand gripping your stomach possessively. you loved how it felt.
a crayon drawing.
arin’s.
5 stick figures. a cute puppy in the corner, sun in the sky, grass on the ground.
your chest tightened as you recognised what you were seeing immediately.
arin, holding both of her parent’s hand’s, a big love heart above all of their heads as she depicted her happy little family. beside them, two others, holding hands, one labelled “uncle kook” and the other “auntie y/n”.
it looked incredibly similar to the one she had made three months ago, in that parents evening hall, where she had already depicted her two favourite people outside of her parents together, happy. a prophecy, it felt like.
the difference in this depiction, however was the big, fat diamond on your finger, and the veil on your head.
whilst you were busy gasping, eyes wide, finally looking at what she had depicted, you didn’t notice jungkook staring down at you, gauging your reaction whilst only pushing you back deeper into him, the incessant monster in his brain telling him to make it a reality and to do it quickly.
his wife. fuck. what a dream.
he’d make that happen. soon.
—
IM BACK!
guys, this was originally supposed to be 1k words but unfortunately, i cant shut the fuck up to save my life omg
i hope you guys enjoyed, i just love this pairing so much, aren’t they the cutest ever 😢 i have a few ideas pending for potential drabbles in the future if you guys are interested
thank you guys so much for reading, and thank you for your continued patience - if you want to show some love, my kofi is here, there’s no obligation whatsoever!!
synopsis: your skills as a videographer gets put to the test when your friend, who happens to be in the same profession, falls victim to double-booking. problem is, you only specialized in weddings, not adult films. despite your initial reluctance, you take the job. cue the lights … you meet jeon jungkook, a pornstar, on set — in his world. you just never expected him to play a part in yours.
pairing: pornstar!jungkook x wedding videographer!fem reader
wc: 4.7k
genre: s2l, pornstar au, smut, angst, fluff
cw: crack-ish, slice of life, inaccurate adult filming industry discourse/depiction, 18+ ONLY, sexual guilt/shame, virgin oc, masturbation (f&m), oc watches porn for “research” purposes
a/n: wip since 2025 and finally making its debut! muah
masterlist | act i.
“You owe me!” Taehyung flails, feet stomping underneath the dining table like a tempered toddler.
Wedding season peaked in the fall — both a blessing and a curse. Hence, you only liked two things after being bombarded with back to back bookings: 1. a sweet treat 2. spending time with your friends. After weeks of tearful vows and hours of rigorous editing, seeing Taehyung, one of your closest friends since college, should be a blessing.
Should be.
“When have we ever kept tally on owing shit? And for the last time, Tae,” you rub your temples, “I'm not helping you film. Can't you just cancel or reschedule with one of your directors?”
In any other circumstance, you would have taken up this project.
You and Taehyung have a long-standing history starting as bright-eyed film students in the same cohort. You’d eventually discover his innate skills and very (heavy emphasis on the very) eccentric visions in film. He was different — highly cherished and praised by the university's faculty. You, on the other hand, put in extra hours only to barely skim the baseline.
You were just … good. Which isn’t a bad thing, but in a room full of endless potential and creativity, you felt like you didn’t belong.
Taehyung never saw an issue in your style and passion, stereotypical or not.
Even though your classmates awarded him with the title “Most Likely to Win an Oscars,” he did quite the opposite. Everyone, including yourself, expected greatness from Kim Taehyung — whether it be through starting his own production company or winning a Sundance Film competition.
But … his passions took a turn.
Of all the spaces he could’ve wound up in, he landed himself in the adult film industry.
Yes. Porn.
When he broke the news on his career switch, you smiled and nodded, praying you didn’t display a single ounce of disdain. He’s been nothing but supportive in your journey and career. The least you can do is swallow and hide your judgment in favor of supporting your best friend.
Minus this particular tall ask.
He frowns. “Please? I really need your help. You’ll do just fine, I promise.”
“I’m literally a wedding videographer.” You deadpan.
“And you’d be perfect for the job!”
You shake your head vehemently, choosing to redirect all the attention to your untouched plate of chicken wings. They're cold now, time wasted on Taehyung's bizarre request.
“Come on.” He pleads. “I never ask you for these types of favors …”
"What about the time you asked me to stick a thermometer up your ass?"
"That was a medical emergency!"
You both continue listing crazy requests you’ve done for each other, inevitably leading to the same response: no, you didn’t want to film porn on his behalf.
Boundaries existed for a reason and Taehyung knew when to throw in the towel. The last thing he'd want to do is make you uncomfortable.
Still, his shoulders drop, eyes hung low in disappointment. “Alright, I’ll let the director know I’ll have to miss out on this project.”
Bam, case-closed, you both can resume the night as intended.
Utensils scrape and clatter against the plates among other tables in the restaurant, but the silence and tension rings louder between you and your best friend. He purses his lips and looks away, unwilling to meet your eyes or say what’s weighing on his mind.
You sigh. “Can I ask you something?”
"Sure, whatever." 'Sure? Whatever?' Now, that's teetering close to fighting words …
“Why this field? Our professors always loved your work—”
His bitter laugh cuts through your words. He leans against his chair and tips his head back.
“Spare me the judgment. I expected this from other people, not from my best friend.”
“I’m not judging—”
“You are.”
This was supposed to be a carefree night.
No drama.
Instead, it seems to be leading right to the dreaded Talk™. Which, unfortunately, is anything but carefree.
“You’re right.” You concede, catching a flash of his frown. "Only because we've always tip-toed around this topic."
“What do you want me to say?”
“The truth. Tell me why you decided on this route.”
“Dude, you can’t even say ‘sex work’ or ‘porn industry’ without looking like a deer in headlights. What makes you think I wanna talk to you about it?” Taehyung rolls his eyes.
You grimace. Has your discomfort always been this apparent?
Hold on. Pause.
“But you want me to help film?” You press.
“Well, I was wrong for trying to bring my friend out of their shell. There’s more out there besides weddings.”
Silence.
“W-wait.” He stammers. “That’s not what I meant. You know I respect–”
You hold a hand up.
"I know.” You say, keeping your voice as leveled as possible. That was a talk for another time.
“Just tell me why you chose this route, Tae. I only ask because I genuinely care and want to know.”
You do.
Both you and Taehyung know that's all you do … too much sometimes, but that's what he loves about you.
“It’s just,” He starts, visibly uncomfortable and awkward, “I’m burnt out from all these expectations. You said it yourself ... ‘All the professors loved your work.’ I can’t fuckin’ keep up.”
“Filming porn is easy." He continues. "There’s no second-guessing. And … it's different. Makes me feel special.” He sniffs and wipes at his nose. “I'm happy there.”
You grab his hand, squeezing gently while he looks at you with a guilt stricken expression.
“I'm sorry for being short with you.” He apologizes. "You're right too. We keep dodging this topic."
Your thumb traces the top of his hand, “I think I’m just a little biased about that—the porn industry.” You correct yourself. “For the record, I'll always support you.”
Taehyung scoots closer to your chair and wraps his arms around you.
“I really did mean it when I said you’d be perfect for the job.”
You laugh. “I don’t think they need a wedding videographer’s touch for that sort of production, but thanks.”
The night continues as intended: lighthearted and free. Waitresses and nearby patrons stare in fascination (or in annoyance … you can't tell nor do you care) whenever a laugh rings a little louder at your table. You always feel fuller after being around your best friend.
“Proud of ya,” he drunkenly confesses after one too many drinks. “Love seeing you in your element.”
Funnily enough, Taehyung had also dabbled into the wedding industry. Let's just say his clients didn't appreciate his … visions. Not everyone was keen on a Carrie themed wedding announcement, okay?
That's the difference between you and Taehyung. Tried and true versus abstract and risky. There's much to learn from each other, which is why the friendship works.
And you do have a thing or two to learn from Taehyung.
Hell, you’ve always played it safe – never tested boundaries. You went to school, got decent grades, and now you run your own business. Everything was fine. Too fine.
The world was your oyster; yet, you’ve never made a quest to seek out for more. Point is, you’re comfortable and that’s what makes you uncomfortable.
Substituting for one of Taehyung’s gigs wouldn’t mean you’re forever locked in to that field … right? Makes you wonder, should you just do it?
“Fuck it,” you mumble to yourself.
“Hm?” Taehyung looks up from his phone after placing an order for a cab.
“I’ll do it. I’ll help you.”
“Huh? What are you—”
“Filming. Just this once.” You say, more definite in your words.
“Wait, uh, are you serious? You don’t have to, really. I was kidding when I said you owed me.” Taehyung waves his hands frantically.
“No shit.” You grin. “We’re friends. There’s no such thing as owing each other favors. I want to help you because I do. It’s important to you; therefore, important to me.” Self-growth, you tell yourself, because you needed that too.
He stares at you and shakes his head.
“Let’s talk again when we’re both sober, okay?”
“But …”
“Sober.” He says, final and definite.
One week later
“Not too late to back out.” Taehyung’s voice blares through your phone speaker.
Actually, it was too late and highly unprofessional if you were to back out the night before.
“Why would I do that?”
He says your name sternly, “You don’t have to do something you’re uncomfortable with.”
“Then why would you even ask me to do it?” You stare at your phone, hands slowing as you rub your moisturizer into your skin.
“Honestly? Didn’t think you’d actually agree …”
Hard to believe since he damn near dropped on his knees begging for your help.
“Well … surprise.”
“Okay, thank you. Seriously. You really are doing me a huge favor.” He sighs. “Let me know if you need any pointers.”
“Think I should be okay.” You lie. One way or another, you'll get through this project. Similar to your wedding bookings, you'll go in blindly. And similar to your bookings, everything has an opportunity to end beautifully … or not.
Again, you remind yourself to keep an open mind.
“I’m still shocked about this whole ordeal.” He confesses.
“How so?”
“You've never seen someone else's genitalia in the flesh.” He snorts.
“I know what a penis and vagina looks like, Tae.” You roll your eyes.
“You know what I mean.”
Celibacy at your age was nothing groundbreaking. Remaining a virgin at twenty-nine, however, was not something you accounted for. Your parents' strict dating policy as an adolescent residing under their roof had lots to do with it, but you had full reigns of your romantic life in college. Thanks to your fixation with school, dating never happened; consequently, sex never happened either.
Though, you had many close "fuck it" moments and contemplated randomly hooking up with a stranger to say you've at least experienced sex. Again, never happened. Your first time should be with someone you trusted and cared for. Plus, physical attraction played a huge role and there wasn’t anyone you felt particularly drawn to like that.
At the end of the day, virginity was a social construct. Life goes on. Who cares whether you've been sexually active with another person?
Hint: you do. And secretly, so does the rest of society.
“So what?”
“Kind of poetic if you think about it.”
What was so poetic about filming porn as a virgin?
“Whatever you say, Shakespeare.” You scoff.
“That's a compliment." You don't have to see him to know he's got a prideful smirk plastered on his face. "But alright, I won’t keep you up any longer. Big day ahead of you tomorrow. Text me if anything comes up.”
“Mmkay, will do. G'night.”
Your clock reads a quarter after eleven. Too late to be doing any editing, but your mind buzzes with one too many thoughts to allow for respite.
Settling into bed, you crack open your laptop. Might as well be productive and work out your inquiries and schedule for the upcoming month.
Emails? Replied.
Bookings? Confirmed.
Stomach? In knots.
You sink deeper into your mattress. Maybe this was all a mistake, but it's too late to back out now.
Laptop still perched on your stomach, you groan before immediately clicking into your private browser tab to type in the infamous website you frequented in your early college years when curiosity got the best of you and hormones ran high.
The first thing you saw were the flashing ads. ‘WANNA JERK OFF? YOU WON’T LAST FIVE SECONDS.’ Next came the tits. And by god, there were lots. You’ve never seen anything more perfect and round than the ones on your screen. A hand leaves your keyboard to grip your covered breast. Hm, yeah, definitely smaller than the ones you see — nipple far from perky like theirs.
More random thumbnails of lewd images pop up as you soak in the page. Your heart races and palms sweat, exhilaration coursing through you as you type in the production company’s name: RkivedShots.
“This is all for educational purposes. Like studying the night before an exam. Yep.” You reason.
Laying against your headboard, your knees prop up to steady your laptop. Hands reaching for your wired earphones, you lower the volume on your speakers in the event you accidentally clicked on something.
You didn't live with any roommates, but this felt private. In the off chance your neighbors had super hearing powers, you preferred keeping all potentially explicit sounds to yourself.
'Director Kim is different. I like his vision. Totally my style.' Taehyung recounted during a coffee run last week.
Within ten seconds of being on the company’s channel, you concluded one thing: RkivedShots was … odd.
You hover over a thumbnail appearing as a clam, later transforming to a vagina. The title of the video read: reborn as a mussel like aphrodite spawning in sea foam [cum as sea foam].
What the hell.
‘we found god in each other’s genitals’
‘possessive possession — don’t worry, we have a shaman on site’
‘if you were clay, i’d mold you into the prettiest vase [hardcore bdsm]’
Your eyes widen at all the titles, which progressively worsens with the video’s preview containing trippy transitions and themes. Oh, you feel sick.
The idea of filming porn was no easy feat as is, let alone editing afterwards. But if you can’t even stand looking at RkivedShots’ thumbnails, how were you going to survive being on set tomorrow?
Fuck, you have to persevere.
‘fucking the patriarchy out of a conservative [not clickbait]’
Seems normal … ish.
You click on the video out of curiosity.
Big mistake.
Let's paint the scene: Two men at the Oval Office. One man, rather on the thinner side, dressed in hipster clothing with a matcha latte in one hand and a book in another while he had, what you presume, an older politician bent over a desk.
“SAY YOU LOVE FEMINISM OR ELSE I WON’T FUCK YOU.”
“OH FUCK, I LOVE FEMINISM!!! PLEASE DON'T STOP!” The politician begs and fucks himself back.
Book tossed onto the desk, the hipster pours his iced matcha latte onto the politician’s back and begins going to pound town while the national anthem played in the background.
Your jaw drops.
With a grimace and a quick 'ew,' you frantically search for the back button to free yourself of whatever was playing. Says a lot when you feel more relief on the company's main channel than you had on that one video.
“God, what was that?” You mumble, finger swiping at your mousepad to sift through other videos. Your eyes land on another video titled ‘grapefruit.’ Short and simple. You’re not chancing it though and would rather edit a twenty hour long footage than watch someone potentially fuck a grapefruit … or whatever Director Kim came up with.
Finally, you reach a video appearing "normal" based on the title and thumbnail alone, only showcasing a half naked man in boxer briefs, face cut from view. His tattooed arm rests on his torso, hand cupping his groin area.
‘relax with me after a long day [JK 🐰]’
You swallow.
Thirty minutes long. A simple masturbation video. In comparison to all the hour long videos on this channel, this felt like an anomaly. Heart hammering in your chest, you click on the thumbnail.
You made a mental note to call it a night if you see even one crazy transition. You're hopeful though — hopeful the video would do exactly as the title suggested.
To relax — ease your mind a little after being exposed to nothing but oddities this evening.
Maybe, this one will be normal.
But this begged another question: was porn normal?
Your breath hitches once the video begins, soft piano music playing in the background. The man on screen stirs something in the depths of your stomach. The piercings, sharp jawline, and angled brows paired with his round eyes? Every part of his face was a contradiction. And yet, you were undeniably captivated by his beauty.
Eyes talk and his spoke to you without words.
Unlike the video’s thumbnail, he’s completely clothed. The production style mirrored a vlog, except there's the looming knowledge of what's yet to come. Probably him. No, undoubtedly him.
“Hey.” He greets with a lopsided grin. You increase the volume on your earphones a little higher, eager to hear more of him.
The video cuts to him cooking a meal, eating, watching television, and working out. Mundane life stuff. Every segment was less than three seconds long. Short-lived. That is, until the next clip cuts to him showering.
The all-glass shower and camera angled modestly leave viewers with wandering thoughts. Even with the steam blurring the shower glass, there's urgency in his movements — longing to rejoin the camera.
The sight of him emerging from the shower stall has you clenching your thighs together. Camera still propped at the same angle, you're only able to make out his upper half. Which, honestly, was more than enough for your mind to dip into darker territories. And fuck … his dripping wet hair and body does things to your poor heart … among other parts of your body.
As he dries his hair, you catch his eyes.
Again, no actual words get exchanged. He keeps you entranced.
He’s on a light brown couch now, appearances matching the video’s thumbnail.
Fumbling with the camera, he props it on the table. Not even one second after he backed away, the camera falls face down. He chuckles, rich and full of life. You bite back your own giggle having related to his struggle plenty of times in the past.
“Whoops, sorry—dropped ya' on accident.” He says as he moves the camera upright. Seated back, that's when you see it.
The outline of his hard cock.
How’d he get like that? You’re not sure.
What you’re sure of, though, is how your body reacts as he smirks. Given any other man you've encountered online with this exact demeanor, you'd immediately rule them as overly confident, borderline cocky — only deserving of being ignored. Yet, you stay for him.
He knows he's hot.
And maybe for that reason, he needs no formal transition or introduction to what he does next. Your eyes follow the hand trailing down his torso and past the waistband of his boxers. Still covered, he wraps his hand around his hard length. The outline of his closed fist moves slowly, tugging until he releases a shaky breath.
“Fuck—ngh,” he tosses his head back, moans coming out sporadically — the slight lift in his voice damn near mimicked a whine.
Tongue heavier in your mouth, you watch him pull the front of his boxers down to expose his cock. It slaps against his abdomen. Thick. Hard. Flushed.
He’s so beautiful. It’s only natural every part of him matched his perfection. The vein running on the underside of his cock matched with the ones on his hand.
You really should click out.
Really.
You shouldn’t dip your hand down your front.
Shouldn’t cup your still-covered pussy only to feel your arousal has seeped through your panties.
Shouldn’t press your middle finger down your covered slit.
Shouldn’t whimper when he pauses to spit into his hand only to go back to jerking his length, legs spreading wider.
“Wish you were here with me.”
You’re not sure who he was referring to. Certainly not you, but the admission was enough coercion to give into your needs.
For a moment, you forget why you're even on this site. "Research" purposes. Right. Yeah … and you're in the exploratory phase now, searching aimlessly for some form of relief.
You deserved it.
He wants you to.
Why else would the video be titled that way?
The handsome man on your screen seems to contribute to your reasoning, giving you one more reason, one last go ahead. His honey voice resounds in your ears. “Want you to play with yourself too. Can you do that for me?”
The softly spoken request sends a shock wave down your spine, and if you weren’t already so aroused you would be ashamed at how fast your body reacted.
Your brows pull together at the bare contact of your middle finger and clit.
You moan as you rub your clit in small circles, relieved from the motion. The occasional wet sounds reach your ears when you move a little quicker to match his pace.
You’re determined to do so, especially when he keeps voicing his praises. “Good. So good. Can you keep up with me?”
The laptop's fan whirs on your stomach, heat keeping you warm. Your forearm knocks and shakes the laptop. Still, you had the perfect view of him.
Another shaky breath slips past your lips.
His hips lift from the couch, hand paying extra attention to the top half of his shaft. He knows what he likes. What gets him shuddering — what gets him wanting more.
A clear, translucent liquid builds at his slit the more he jerks himself off. Doesn't touch it though — no, not yet. Lets it build until it dribbles down the edge of his length on its own, and he lets out a particularly raspy moan at the sight.
"Fuck." You choke, arm slipping down lower. Your middle finger stops just at your entrance.
Penetration was not your thing, but tonight, you entertain the fantasy of him inside you. Middle finger teasing your entrance, you push and prod, imagining his tip kissing your entrance. Would he beg to enter inside of you, whine and groan the same way he does while playing alone with himself? Smear and mark his precum all over your entrance to claim you as his?
Truthfully, the concept of something entering in you felt better than the actual act. You've tried fingering yourself in the past — hurt and burned like hell. Could never get the position right. And honestly? Who cared knowing the clit was right there?
But the thought of the man on screen pushing his length inside — stuffing you, fucking you, filling you up good … god, you needed to feel something, anything, inside you.
Arousal trailing down your slit and ass, you wedge your arm down even lower. Your finger pushes against your entrance with a little more purpose, the first knuckle slipping in with little resistance.
Eyes shut, you bite the inside of your cheeks. You don't linger inside for long as a result of the stinging sensation.
A sigh of relief tumbles out as your finger goes back to its happy place.
Again, tried and true.
“Wanna cum with you so badly.” He breathes, jaw going slack before he wraps his lips around the digits of his other free hand. You watch with anticipation, teeth biting down your bottom lip at the sight of his wet, glistening fingers tracing around his nipple.
T-shirt tucked underneath your chin, you shudder from the cold air, but copy what the man does. Imagine it’s his lips enclosed over your hardened nipples, the cold metal piercing making contact against your skin. He’d look up at you, smile prettily like he has in the video, and worship your body as he likes.
Fuck.
There’s a certain numbness you feel at the bottom of your stomach signaling your end. You tense, fingers moving faster over your clit.
His once pushed-back wet bangs are now dried and wavy on his forehead. If not for all the sinful acts he’s doing to himself neck down, he’d look like someone you could see hanging out with and talking to — a friend. Let’s be real … how good of a friend can you be to someone you’re about to cum with?
He's not faring any better. His impatient whines grow louder, bleary eyes fighting to stay open as he jerks himself off faster. Everything tells you he’s going to cum: the blush on his chest, the tightness in his balls, the freshly bitten lips.
Oh, you want every bit of it. Want, no, need to see how he finishes and how he loses control of his body in his climax.
But just at the last second, he pulls away. Cock resting flushed and firm against his stomach, he laughs. Breathless, akin to a mock. Your hand comes to a halt as well, clit twitching against your fingers. There's no gratification in cumming if the experience was stolen and watered down.
“Sorry,” he breathes. “Still with me? Didn’t finish yet, right?”
A soft, yet frustrated whine leaves your lips. Technically, you didn't need him — could finish the job yourself. But you wanted this … wanted to end with him.
You wait patiently, body reeling in excitement as he wraps his hand around his length again. Your fingers remain stagnant, afraid one minor movement might lead to an unsatisfied orgasm.
“Want you to finish with me. Please?” His head falls back as he wanks himself again, speed ramping up.
He does this multiple times. Gets himself all worked up. Teases himself—teases his viewer. Gets close. Stops.
Rinse and repeat.
He edges himself near the point of punishment — excels at it like it’s his favorite sport.
And you follow after him every time because it feels good to be led like this. You’re so fucking wet, fingers coated with your slick. You're sure if you move from where you’re laying, there would be a damp spot on your bedsheets, a clear indicator of your arousal.
“You wanna cum with me so badly, huh?” He husks. “Been so good for me, yeah? Would be so nice to cum together, right baby? I’ll give you what you want.”
His words earn another moan from you — and fuck, you don’t think you can last a minute longer. Quickly, your mouse hovers at the time bar again, eyes scanning for any indication of the most played segment.
28:37. The video peaks right there — the finish line.
And you're deserving of every bit of this victory.
He wets his lips with his tongue and smiles. The glint of his lip piercings catches the light and then—
"Oh fuckfuckfuck, I'm gonna cum—"
You've been so good, so obedient. To hell with your goal of a timed orgasm to match his … you have to put yourself first. Toes curled, your body loses all control as you finish before him.
It's enough, though. His whines, the stutter of his chest, the speed of his hand. And when his cum paints his abdomen and dribbles over his veiny fist, your hand flattens on your mound, four fingers rubbing vigorously to extend every second of your long-awaited orgasm. Back arching off your headboard, your body withers from the impact: gut-punching, velvety … practically soul-sucking.
You lay there shaking and sensitive from your earth-shattering orgasm for a couple seconds before pulling your hand out of your pants. It's then you realize how numb and achy your arm got from all the exertion. You raise your poor hand to your face, light catching and displaying a clear sheen of the aftermath of your intense orgasm. Before your mind could register what you had done, a breathy laugh cuts through the silence.
“Fuck. That was a good one.”
Whelp, there it is: post-nut clarity.
You’ve never ripped your earphones out and closed a browser faster than you have now. Shame heats up the back of your neck at the realization you had just beat off to a random stranger online. Sure, you’ve done so before in your early twenties, but you’ve grown since then (so you think). There were many alternatives to getting off without watching other people.
You shake your head in embarrassment, forearm coming up to cover your eyes.
Every part of your body feels weightless, tension no longer present in your muscles after finishing the way you did. As tempting as it was to just go to sleep, you know you’ll regret not cleaning up the mess between your legs and fingers in the morning.
Another minute goes by before forcing yourself to look for a new pair of underwear and sleep shorts. The clean up and change in the bathroom is quick only because you can’t bear looking into the mirror.
So afraid you’ll unearth and confront your true feelings of the time spent with the video: You liked it. Specifically, you liked how safe you felt behind the screen with that man.
Sleep comes with little effort tonight … all thanks to a boy with eyes that spoke without words.
a/n: ty to my lovely betas @takeitawaykenny & @lovieku!! yall both saved my life with ur eagle eyes and big brains. this couldn’t have happened without your guys help and input 🥺 tytytytytyyyy
now.. gentle readers, thoughts/predictions? im editing ch1 atm, so any encouragement would be greatly appreciated ♡ i anticipate posting in a couple weeks. toodles!!
beat of my heart (hiatus) ➔ drummer! satoru x psych major
꒰ slow burn. college au. darker themes ꒱ 🌸💦💔🥀
.ᐟ long fics (mini series) ──
love hard (complete) ➔ nerdjo x reader
꒰ holiday au. catfishing trope. fake dating ꒱ 🌸💦💔🤭🌟
.ᐟ oneshots ──
mine to see ➔ invisibleman! satoru
꒰ dark content. yandere. psychological horror ꒱ 💦🥀🤭🌟
behind the screen ➔ au coworker! satoru
꒰ phone sex. online dating ꒱ 💦🤭
masked affairs ➔ au dom rich! satoru
꒰ established relationship. 50 shades of grey ꒱ 🌸💦
cursed in color ➔ sorcerer! satoru
꒰ girl dad. established relationship ꒱ 🌸💦
unwrapping you ➔ sorcerer! satoru
꒰ bday boy. established relationship ꒱ 🌸💦
echos of time ➔ sorcerer satoru
꒰ time travel. friends to lovers ꒱ 🌸💦
.ᐟ drabbles (teasers, headcanons, blurbs) ──
○ arranged clanhead satoru 💔💦🌟
○ supermodel satoru 🌸💦🌟
○ long distance satoru 🌸💦
○ gaming nerdjo 💦
○ try again 🌸💔🌟
○ the last bite 🌸
○ on the move 🌸
○ little things like this 🌸
○ you'd win 🌸
danse de la lune - the prince is in search for his future queen, or so it’s told. Ladies from around the land flock to the set ball. that is, all except for one (cinderella au)
lover, you’re on your own - gojo was being arranged to marry somebody else. somebody he didn’t slightly care for. someone who wasn’t you
his kiss, the riot - the king has been struck by never-ending grief when he found out about his wife’s infidelity. he has her ordered to be killed, but afterward, he is no longer the same. every night he marries a woman, and every morning he has her killed. the endless cycle continues until the night you’re chosen to be his wife. instead of letting him ruin you, you tell him a story. you tell him a story that he just has to know the ending to. and so begins the story of one thousand and one arabian nights
only lovers left alive - when a disease turns the world into an apocalyptic landscape, you join a group in order to survive. you find yourself drawn to a certain blue-eyed man for no explainable reason. though the two of you have your own pasts to deal with, the two of you grow closer and closer together. after all, it seems as though you’re the only lovers left alive
our love is sunlight - being gojo’s wife was better than you could have imagined, too good perhaps. when you have doubts about being with him, gojo must simply show you that they’re wrong
wanna be yours - you find yourself in a marriage that you never wanted in the first place. your husband seems to hate you and you begin to wonder if anything you used to think of him was even true. who would have though a marriage to gojo satoru would be so difficult?
wanna be mine? - the aftermath of you and your husband’s arranged marriage, but the better side of it. gojo satoru just loves you so much, that he’s willing to bring down armies just for you (part two of wanna be yours)
burn for you - you have everything you could have asked for in life. a beautiful home in greenwhich, just far away from london so that you don’t have to mingle with city life, but close enough to be surrounded by the ton. a library with all the books you could ask for and a friend you care for dearly. all except for the man of your dreams, who just so happens to be your best friends brother. worst of all, he only sees you as such. his sisters best friend. (bridgerton!au)
shameless - once childhood friends with the crown prince, you find yourself in a troubled situation when he calls for you to help him around with his daily duties as the king to be. he seems to have forgotten everything, forgotten who you even were. but as the palace’s most loyal servant there’s only so many things that you can tolerate, including the prince.
after all this time - six years ago, when they placed that sorting hat on your head, nobody expected for it to assign the muggleborn to the slytherin house, but it did. six years later, you find yourself as alone as the day you walked through those doors. little did you expect the prince of slytherin, the pureblood maniac himself, gojo satoru, to be the one to coincidentally fill your empty hours.
always - you try to make sense of everything after that night with gojo satori, the Slytherin prince, but as much as you try to run away from it, it seems to follow you more. but he has to hate you for it, right? that could be the only explanation for why he seeks you out…right? (part two of after all this time, 18+)
the arrangement - gojo satoru was a notorious man across the land. he was the strongest soldier the north had ever produced, the most brilliant of minds, and somebody who slept his way through the noble ranks. his parents set him up in a marriage agreement with you, hoping that a tie with a ring would help save his marriage. you know gojo never wanted this, and you try to act as if that was normal. but soon, without you or even him realizing it, he comes to the conclusion that while he never wanted this marriage - he’s beginning to want you. (18+)
the arrangement, act two - life was going well. better than you could have ever imagined. the whirlwind marriage between you and gojo satoru that started as an arrangement blossomed into something sweeter and more tender after you both fell in love. but that storybook life you’ve been living soon shatters when you’re told that a bitter king wants you two to separate so gojo could marry his daughter. either that, or he promises a war to follow. you live between selfishness and sacrifice as the fate of the kingdoms rests in your, and your husband’s hands. (18+)
winner takes all, act one - every year, to make them pay for their uprising, a male and female tribute are selected from each district to fight to the death in the hunger games. this year, you have been chosen as the female tribute from district 11. you never expected to make an alliance with someone, much less with the capitol’s newest darling, gojo satoru. but it happens, making this year’s games even more interesting. not only for the unlikely alliance, but for the fact that nobody could’ve predicted love to bloom between such unlikely tributes.
winner takes all, act two - the hunger games have begun, and now, survival is the only thing you care about. you have not only your life, but the young tribute from your district as well to worry about. a strange alliance with the capitol darling, gojo satoru, however, might come in handy. though you can’t forget why you’re in this arena, and what ultimately must happen in the end. out of twenty-four tributes, only one can win.
the crush theorem - two years had passed since you first met gojo satoru, and it was two years of having an agonizingly one-sided crush on the white-haired genius. for the most part, you were okay with keeping it down and acting like the nights you spent fantasizing about what it would be like to be his were normal. you were fine keeping it hidden until something between the two of you shifts, and you’re left wondering if this crush you have on him is truly as delirious as you think. (18+)
𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧
in love, i fall as your victim - you see him a handful of times down by the river, washing off the bloodstains from his clothing and hands. you wonder to yourself how he could look so human in such a monstrous act. once he see’s you he can’t get you rid of his mind
forever yours - sukuna is a loose flame and you’re his fuel
come back home - he promised he’d burn the world for you, but you didn’t want him to do anything other than just come home to you
my dear - there’s a multitude of names you’ve been called. there’s only one you prefer
summary: two years had passed since you first met gojo satoru, and it was two years of having an agonizingly one-sided crush on the white-haired genius. for the most part, you were okay with keeping it down and acting like the nights you spent fantasizing about what it would be like to be his were normal. you were fine keeping it hidden until something between the two of you shifts, and you're left wondering if this crush you have on him is truly as delirious as you think.
genre: 18+, nerdjo, slow burn, angst + happy ending (duh), fluff, eventual smut (nerdjo being a munch), some mention of insecurities but nothing major
word count: 33k (oops)
note: nerdjo bu set in oxford! art credit! @to00fu
jjk masterlist
It began at one of the English department get-togethers.
Two years ago, when you felt like you had to come to every single event in the hopes of striking expeditious luck at one of them. And it’s not that you particularly disliked these events, but they weren’t the first thing you’d think of when it came to how you’d prefer to spend your free time.
The weather was just getting chilly enough where you’d rather stay in your dorm and wrap yourself in three blankets and a sweater, and the year had been dragging on long enough where you’d rather just talk about the wonders of Shakespeare and his sonnets in the confines of your next research paper and not with academics who made you feel inferior.
You had been invited weeks in advance, and yet you still found yourself dreading being here, the more it led to it, and even more when you were in the thick of it. Awkward small-talk with students you’ve seen around briefly and stiff handshakes with male professors who think that they have better places to be were just mentally taxing, and you counted the seconds until it was all over.
Thankfully, it was busy enough that you could slip into the background without many people even noticing you were there, but not so crowded that you could just slip away entirely without somebody asking where the great Dr. Howard’s research assistant had gone. And anyways, it wasn’t too horrible. You had taken to silently recounting Othello in your mind moments before everything changed.
There was a small tap on your shoulder. It startled you at first, and you looked around in your small corner to see a man waiting patiently behind you, a sheepish look on his face as you tried to gather yourself up.
“I’m sorry,” he stammered, and you blinked out of your stupor as you tried to recall in your brain if you had met him before to save yourself from the embarrassment of him having to re-introduce himself, “I didn’t mean to surprise you.”
He looked familiar. His eyes were a deep amethyst, his smile was soft and kind. His dark and shaggy hair was tied behind his head in a small bun, and his ears were adorned with multiple piercings. Although many at Oxford, especially the men, tried to appear as blank as usual, he seemed apt and content with going against the stuffy and old notions.
You must have seemed confused because the man stuttered as he introduced himself.
“I’m Suguru,” he restarted, his hand leaving his side as he extended it to shake yours, “I think we had the same English survey course last semester.”
Your confusion melted away into a wide smile as you shook his hand, his own eyes crinkling around the edges as he grinned back, letting out a breath of relief as you nodded insistently, shaking your head at your own self.
“Right, right, Suguru! I remember you!” You exclaimed, setting your cup down to the side as you watched him tuck a strand of loose hair behind his ear, “You sat a little bit in front of me, right?”
His head ducked down momentarily as he chukked, putting his hands in his pants pockets as he nodded.
“I did,” he chuckled slightly, “Right in the line of fire for when Howard needed to pick on someone.”
Your lips quirk up slightly as you nod, remembering how the professor you work for now used to terrorize your class and quiz random students on particular syllables and grammatical imperfections in the reading they were supposed to have done.
The class was small, as were most major-specific courses you were taking. Although you didn’t have many of your friends in the class, you had gotten a good sense of who was in there and who Dr. Howard preferred to pick on. Suguru, for the most part, did the reading and did his work, so he came out unscathed compared to some of the other students. He sat near the front with some of his own friends, and you had talked to him in passing a couple of times when the class as a whole would band together to compare comments on assignments. He was kind, from what you remembered, which is probably why you felt your shoulders growing less tense the more you two talked.
“That’s her style,” you say, shrugging as you fiddle with your fingers. “It took a while to get used to it,” you admit. Suguru rolls his eyes at your humility, remembering clearly just how much Dr. Howard favored you, but he doesn’t say anything as he lets you continue, “I don’t know if you’ve had Creemer yet, but he’s worse with his cold calls and isn’t half as nice.”
“I have him right now for rhetoric and grammar,” he said with a sigh, shaking his head in dismay, “He’s…sadistic, I think.”
You giggle, nodding feverishly at the statement as you recall your past couple of classes with the hellish professor, an infamous name for many English majors and someone that you try to avoid at all costs if possible.
The party, or gathering, as it said on the invitation, drones on in the background as you look around to see if anybody is looking in your direction. Most of the time, you can do what you want, but seeing that Dr. Howard had warned you before tonight that somebody from the department might want to swarm you to ask questions that you most likely didn’t have answers to, had put you on edge.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” He asked, motioning to the rest of the people with a knowing glint as you politely smile, shrugging your shoulders as your lips press tightly together. Whether it be your shy nature or how you preferred smaller crowds, it must’ve been evident on your face that you weren’t necessarily having the most amount of fun.
“I am,” you answer, wincing at the way your voice sounded warbled, “I’m trying to make the most of these opportunities, I guess.”
Suguru’s head dipped in understanding, taking a sip of his drink as he bit the inside of his cheek, leaning in slightly as he lowered his voice.
“These things drag on for a bit, though, yeah? I’m feeling my fingers prune from how long I’ve held this glass.”
You let out a sigh of relief, sharing the same sentiment as the two of you share a knowing look.
“I…I, um, I heard that Howard chose you to research with her, though, right? That’s gotta be pretty cool,” Suguru asked after a beat, bringing you back to the conversation as his head tilted slightly, and you felt heat rush to your cheeks as you swallowed. He seemed kind, not asking the question bitterly as some other people have.
You nodded again, trying to contain your smile as you leaned against the stone pillar next to you. Letting out a small hum, you swallow again, trying to scope out what sort of place he was coming from.
“It is,” you answered, biting on the inside of your cheek as you were still reeling from being selected from such a wide pool of applicants and such a rigorous interview process to work on her next paper analyzing More’s work through a modern lens, “It’s…strenous, sometimes, but I’m having a lot of fun working with her,” you fidgeted with your fingers, “So yeah, it’s pretty cool.” You say sheepishly.
Suguru smiled at your hidden enthusiasm, the tip of his boot nudging something on the ground. He went to usher you to continue before his eye caught something behind your shoulder, his eyebrows shooting upwards in surprise as his smile grew even wider, his hand raising in a wave.
“Sorry,” he apologetically muttered, and you craned your neck around to see what it was, or rather who it was that Suguru had seen, “I think my friend just arrived.”
That’s when you felt your breathing stop.
The bustling group of students and faculty members almost seemed to part theatrically for the man walking towards the two of you, but you couldn’t even blame them.
He stuck out like a sore thumb, with his icy white hair and strikingly beautiful eyes. His lengthy frame made him nearly a head taller than even the tallest man in the room, and his wide shoulders helped him wade through the bodies as he navigated to his friend. His face seemed stoic, bordering on bored, but you couldn’t help but widen your eyes in shock at seeing the most devastatingly gorgeous man to ever exist. He adjusted his glasses over the bridge of his nose, his lips moving in quiet apologies as he tried to move through the people without bumping into them.
You suddenly became hyper-aware of the fact that it had been days since you had last had a good night's sleep and that the bags under your eyes were most likely even more evident in the dim lighting of the old hall, and how your sweater was lumpy from being shoved in the back of your closet for so long. You swallow thickly as Suguru quickly excused himself as he stepped away and walked a bit away to hug the stranger, exchanging some words with each other as you stood awkwardly to the side.
You watched them silently as they talked for a little bit more before Suguru stepped away, his hand on his friend's back as he, for some horrifying reason, seemed to guide him towards where you were stiffly standing as the two of you made eye contact before you became aware of the way your eyeballs felt in your socket and how heavy your tongue was in your mouth.
When Suguru finally pulled away from the modern-day Adonis, you felt like a creeper and a loner as you wondered whether or not to leave or stand in the corner while they talked, but ever the kind person that he was, Suguru led the man by the back to where the two of you were with a wide smile on his face.
“Sorry about that,” Suguru abashedly apologized, chuckling deeply as he rubbed the back of his neck, “But this is my friend, Satoru,” he said brightly, pushing the man a little harshly towards you as you stared at him silently.
The man, Satoru, gives you a tight-lipped smile, nodding once in your direction as he looks around, looking uncomfortable and shifty. Suguru rolled his eyes, sighing deeply as he patted his friend's back.
You grinned back, swallowing the spit in your mouth as you felt him stare at you once he was done looking at the room, your cheeks heating up. You felt his eyes drift over your outfit, at your posture, and the way your hands were clasped tightly together. This stranger assessed the way you swayed slightly, awkwardly, not knowing how to fill the silence as you tapped the tip of your battered shoes on the ground. When he was done, his chin lifted again, his stare lingering on your blinking face as you glanced between him and Suguru, waiting for somebody to say something before you imploded and left with the lingering scent of your vanilla body spray.
Seeing that he was fine with checking you out, you took the time to do the same. He seemed like one of the generational students of the school, the ones whose parents and grandparents and cousins and siblings all came and went and made something important with their lives. They weren’t hard to detect, especially him, with his steamed jumper and his creased pants. His leather shoes were shining back at you, and though his hair was somewhat messy, it seemed to be classily messy, unlike what you and some other students would call freely messy.
“I force him to come to these things with me,” Suguru explained, but you could barely hear him over the rhythm of heartbeats in your ear as you tried to fly, appreciate the man a few feet in front of you, “Our friend Shoko sometimes comes, but she had things to do tonight.”
The man’s nose wrinkled ever so slightly, his brows drawing tightly together as he glanced at his friend with a look.
“I had things to do too,” he muttered, his voice deep as you felt your heart stupidly tumble at the sounds.
Suguru snorted, shaking his head as he shrugged indifferently.
“Sure,” Suguru replied sarcastically and glanced at you, his brow slightly raised at the way you had gone silent, his lips quirking slightly when he noticed the way you couldn’t stop staring at his friend, not voicing anything as his hand on Satoru’s shoulder loosened, “Just act like you want to be here for twenty minutes, yeah?”
You bit your teeth into your cheek, a finger raising slightly as you pointed to the newcomer's face.
“I like your glasses,” you said brightly, your smile gentle as you fidget with your own, watching the way his striking eyes moved over to you again, squinting slightly as his hand raised upwards, as if he had forgotten that his glasses were even there, “They frame your face really well.” Your head tilts a little as you try to place something, “Where’d you get them? If, if you don’t mind me asking. Mine is so old and dingy, and the rims are basically glued on, and I’ve only had them for a few years.”
“Erm, well, thank you,” Satoru says stiffly, not used to the direct attention and compliments, his cheeks slightly dusted with pink as Suguru watches his friend struggle for words, taking the glasses off as he turns them to the side, trying to read the logo, “These are, erm, from Cartier. But I usually wear contacts, anyway.”
You let out a startled laugh, not a stranger to hearing students at this place don expensive items, but this being the first time you’ve seen one of them bashful about it.
You nod, your smile still there, softer as you take in his slightly awkward nature and let him put the glasses back on before you continue.
“Contacts are more practical,” you agree, even though you’ve always had a phobia of things touching your eyes and would never wear contacts unless somebody forced you, shrugging as you say, “But I’ve always appreciated the look of glasses.”
Satoru gnaws on his lips, nodding quietly as Suguru starts talking about his friend's major (biochemistry, you came to find out), and how long they’ve known each other, but you could only feel your stupid feelings when Suguru stayed, his friend included, and talked with you for the rest of the evening.
That was your sophomore year.
Nearly two years passed after befriending Suguru alongside his small group. He introduced you to Shoko after that night, swearing up and down that the two of you were destined to be near each other. And we weren’t wrong, not in the slightest. You two girls bonded strangely fast, as if you were twin flames that were being fanned out. Suguru and Satoru seemed to mirror the two of you, but the group functioned as a whole, for the most part. You spent so many nights over at their dorms that you could walk around blindfolded and still find your way to the others with no issue. It was fun, it was what you had dreamt of for so long. It was something that you were fine with, more than content with, ending your university career in a couple of months.
Well, everything for the most part, you could consider it as such if it wasn’t for your debilitating and soul-crushing feelings for the stranger you met that night.
It’s been four semesters, and you still don’t think Gojo Satoru has a clue. Which, in all honesty, is for the better.
Although his stoic nature spares nobody, it feels as though you're always on the worst end of it. With his lingering stares that seem to border on questioning why you were even there whenever he sees you, to the way he grows dim and quiet around you, it feels like you’re actively attempting to hurt yourself the more you fall in love with the little things you hadn’t noticed the day prior.
Even worse, you know deep down that such feelings are most likely, under this sun and every other universe, with most certainty and heavy grief, unrequited.
But you’re fine keeping it down.
You were fine until recently.
—
“I’m debating switching majors.”
Shoko declared from the couch, her legs hanging off the side, knocking occasionally on your shoulders as you crane your neck back on the cushion form where you were seated on the ground to look at her upside down.
“To what?”
She shrugged, rubbing at her eyes as she held her neuroanatomy textbook in one hand, her phone in the other as she scrolled through the different majors Oxford offered, as if she wasn’t a semester away from graduating.
“Film?” She read out, and you snorted, rolling your eyes at the prospect of Shoko going into film, “Hm…maybe art history?”
“Gave up on the med school dream?” Suguru quips from the other side of the couch, knowing fully that Shoko was just going on another one of her tangents as she shifted slightly to shove him harshly with her socked foot.
“I’m sure your counselor wouldn’t mind,” you reply, looking at her as she glares, her eyes falling back to her phone as she peers at the screen. She looked boredly a little bit before her eyes flitted upwards slightly, squinting as she read the new notification.
“Satoru said he’s going to be here in a few minutes,” she muttered, reading the next message, “And that he wants you,” she nudged Suguru with her foot again to motion that it was him that Satoru was referencing in the text, “To move to your bed so that he can do his work on his side of the couch.”
Suguru peeked up from his doom scrolling to look at Shoko, his eyes narrowed in a glare as he let out a huff of annoyance.
“His side?”
Shoko shrugged, her knee knocking on the side of your head as you knock it back, the book you were reading resting in your hands as you listened to Suguru mutter distastefully about how this was his dorm and that Satoru had no right claiming his couch, but you heard him shuffle to his feet nonetheless.
You tried not to show any peek of interest when the infamous name was called out, but it was hard not to. It had been two grueling years of mulling over your childish crush, yet the sound of his name could still send pulses to your veins that you were sure were minor heart attacks.
Because it was Gojo Satoru. You wanted to bang your head against the coffee table just hearing it.
Truth be told, you weren’t a stranger to having crushes. It was normal, it was human. Or at least, that’s what you convinced yourself when you were sprawled out on your bed, staring blankly at the ceiling as you tried not to think about the way his fingers ever so slightly grazed your wrist when he handed you some chopsticks earlier at the restaurant.
But your crushes came few and far between, and you preferred keeping it that way. Seeing that you were too terrified to ever admit them, and the few, very few times you have, they’ve backfired horrifically, you try not to catch feelings as much as possible. But there was something about Gojo, something beyond reason, that pulled you to him.
At first, you bargained. You tried convincing yourself that it was just his appearance that was drawing you in, his suave looks that made people’s heads turn whenever he entered a room. But you have seen him at four in the morning with his old band tees (a sight that still made you swoon), with his hair crusted with glitter and his eyes pink with eyeshadow as Shoko attempted to put him in drag. Even then, he was insanely gorgeous, so you knew it had to be beyond that.
When you had finally accepted that it was a mind-numbing and life-ending crush that you were feeling towards him, you finally gave in and decided to admire the tall brute from afar. It helped that the two of you had gotten somewhat closer over the past two years, but out of everyone in the group, he was the one you talked to the least. In your defense, he didn’t have much to say to anybody, and that was just his nature. He spent most of his time studying and researching, and the other time watching, observant as other people gossiped. It wasn’t his forte, and nobody pushed him.
So you took in his quietness and his stoicism, appreciated his god-like looks and his overwhelming presence. That was fine.
What made it even worse was that he was so unattainably perfect in other ways that your crush festered into something that made you scream into your pillows and throw your balls of clothes at the wall as you wallowed in self-pity.
Everyone at this damned university was intelligent, and you had made amends with them early on. But you loved men who were smart, guys who could actually hold a page down and dissect it and make the most of it. And worst of all, Gojo Satoru was probably the most intellectual person you have ever met, and will ever meet. It seemed like his memory was photographic, his mind working twenty thousand times faster than the regular brain as he computed formulas and equations at speeds that you couldn’t fathom. He made biochemistry seem easy, something that you sometimes felt guilty for not pursuing. And sure, it didn’t help that you were on the other side with your texts about Russian classics and books diving deep into the restoration period, but even Shoko, who could rival Gojo at times, would begrudgingly admit under her breath just how stupidly genius he was.
Therefore, when you put those things together, his charming looks, his bookish self, his brooding structure, and just everything else, it made him unattainably perfect.
And that’s when you get the man you’ve been hopelessly in love with since the moment you saw him at that wretched party that wasn’t a party.
So, when Shoko read off his texts, there was good reason why she looked at the top of your head, a knowing look in her eyes as she playfully nudges you again, watching as you threw her a dark glare to just keep it down seeing that she was the only other soul who knew, despite you trying your best to hide it, about your feelings towards her other friend.
“Did you hear that Toji is graduating a semester late?” Suguru asked, leaning back against his pillows, his long legs strewn along his bed as he chewed on some gum.
You and Shoko both hummed, not looking up from your respective tasks, having found this information out weeks in advance.
Suguru groaned in annoyance, his chest vibrating with the noise as you snorted, rolling your eyes as he threw a small pillow at your head. It bounced off the side of your face, but you didn’t look up from the page you were on, too engrossed to hear the door behind you click open and heavy footsteps suddenly thudding through the dorm.
You shuffled against the couch, your back feeling stiff as you tried to get comfortable, not knowing that the man of your dreams was moving around somewhere behind you as he hung his coat up (vintage leather, something you found out as he grumbled about getting it wet when Shoko and Suguru insisted on walking in the rain once), kicked off his shoes, and slung his bag around as Shoko craned her neck to see what he was doing.
“Hey,” Shoko called out, and your eyes widened slightly when you heard a familiar voice grunt back a tired greeting, trying not to look as your ears suddenly sharpened to pick up on the sound of him pulling on his sweatshirt as he rounded the couch, standing at the opposite end as he plopped his backpack on the cushions.
You finally allowed yourself to peek over, your eyes following his figure upwards until they landed on his face, and your fists balled in frustration at how pretty he was even when he was simply existing.
Gojo sent you a small, tight-lipped and courteous nod, polite and curt as he looked between you and Shoko, glancing back at the bed where Suguru was lying, his fingers barely lifting from his phone as he gave his childhood best friend a lazy three-fingered wave.
“Why’re you here?” His blunt question was directed at Shoko, something that held no bite but mere wondering as he situated himself on the soft cushions, his large hands feeling around his bag as he opened up the zipper to get his laptop.
“I thought that it was allowed,” Shoko replied dryly, “Apologies.”
You chuckle softly, flipping the page, trying not to let his signature cologne distract you from the words in front of you.
“How was your lab?” Suguru asked, sounding monotone as his thumb swiped on the screen.
You watched as Gojo gave him a glare, his nose wrinkling, something he often did when he was frustrated but didn't want to ruin his outward appearance, and rubbed at his tired eyes. His hair was messy with goggle indents lining the upper half of his face.
“An offense to my intelligence,” Gojo grumbled, his face illuminated by the glow of his laptop as he clicked around a little bit, “I can’t believe some people have made it this far.”
You flipped another page, not fully having read the contents of the last one, but in an attempt to seem indifferent, tried to keep up with your regular reading pace as if anybody was keeping track.
Watching as he riffles through his bag again, you know, almost like clockwork, what he’s going to pull out. His routine is one that you’ve familiarized yourself with despite your best judgment, and you know that what comes next are his glasses.
Glasses are normal. You have your own pair that you only wear for lectures and outings, but forgo them for times like this because they sit a little too heavy on your nose. But his glasses are something else.
They elevate his face ever so slightly, but so much so that it makes you want to keel over and scream. They accentuate his perfect nose with the perfect crook and his freckles that sometimes sit just beneath the frames. He looks even more dashing, if that was even possible, with the way he looks up sometimes, and the lenses make his eyes seem even more blue.
He took them off for labs and put them somewhere safe. In moments like this, you were reminded of just how truly stunning this man really was.
Gojo unfolded the two prongs, holding them up to a source of light as his nose wrinkled again.
Smudges.
You watch silently as he dives back into the bag, his long fingers searching through his pockets for something you knew you always kept on hand for yourself and deep down, for him.
After a few seconds of not finding the microfiber cloth that you both silently cherished, you gave in, pulling your own bag towards you as you unzipped the smaller pocket, pulling it out stealthily and motioning for Shoko to hand it to Gojo.
He took it, his face going so far to relax momentarily as he went to clean the lenses, his head nodding once in quiet appreciation in your direction as you allowed yourself a nod in return.
Shoko looked at you with a raised brow, and you chose to hide behind your book.
“Was it Lainey?” Suguru asked, looking over at his friend, the name piquing your interest as you cast a quizzical look at Shoko, but she shrugged, watching Gojo as his expression soured. He handed you back your little cloth, muttering a thanks under his breath as his bitter gaze found Suguru, as if he was cursing him silently for bringing up the sensitive subject.
“What do you think?” He grumbled out, his right eye almost twitching as his fingers stretched out, typing something quickly as Suguru huffed out a laugh, noting how you and Shoko were both confused, and his smile only grew.
“You didn’t tell them?” Suguru asked, a gleam in his eyes as he shuffled to sit upwards, his back resting on the headboard, “Oh, this is class. Do you two know Lainey? Lainey Andrews?”
You cast a look at Shoko, your lips pursing as your eyes squinted, trying to recall the familiar name.
“The ginger?” Shoko asked, her head tilting to the side, her hair falling around her shoulder, “Pixie cut?”
Suguru nodded, his shoulders raising as your brows furrowed before your mouth slightly fell open when your head bobbed quickly, snapping as you matched the face to the name.
“Oh, Lainey!” You exclaimed, “She’s really pretty,” you added, remembering her bright green eyes and the spattered freckles that made her look like a painting, “She’s also crazy smart - she’s double majoring in bio and poli sci."
Shoko laughed softly under her breath, giving you a small look because this was somewhat typical of you to know random people, with nearly everyone on campus having had a conversation with you at some point during your four years here.
Suguru raised a brow, clicking his tongue as he pointed his phone at Gojo, seeming like he was already anticipating one of his sly comments.
“She’s also just crazy,” Gojo muttered, looking above his laptop, above his wispy lashes at you and then to Shoko, “She spent half of the lab playing with my hair.”
Your book almost fell out of your hands as Shoko sat up with a barking out a stunned laugh, your hands mirroring each other as they flew to cover your mouths in shock, and Suguru nodded again, his eyes wide as he clicked his tongue.
Another thing about Gojo? He hated being touched. Despised hugs, only suffered through quick handshakes, and shuddered at the thought of someone touching his face. You’ve seen the way he pulls back whenever someone approaches him with open arms, seen the way he tries to brush people off of him. He can tolerate Suguru and his insistent bear-hugs from time to time, can sometimes allow Shoko to swat a fly away from his face, and for some reason, doesn’t grumble whenever you try to fix his ties before events, but whenever a stranger or someone he isn’t close to attempts to touch him, he grows reclusive for the rest of the day.
“I told her to stop, too,” he adds, his big frame seeming to grow in frustration as he thinks back to it, “It was only after I had to shove her off that she got the hint. I forgot my disinfectant too, so I was just…” he shuddered, his eyes fluttering shut as he shifted uncomfortably, and you watched him let out a restrained exhale as he dropped it and went back to work.
But, after studying him for as long as you have, you know that he probably washed his hands and his face a couple of times after that. You know that he also wouldn’t feel complete without some sanitizing wipes and a good shower, so you do the closest thing to that and fish out a hand sanitizer from your bag, an item that you refused to move around without due to your own cleanly nature, which was ironically something else that you and Gojo silently shared, and passed it to him, knowing that he was probably itching till he was able to shower again.
Your friends sometimes joked that you had a Mary Poppins bag, but it came in handy for times like this.
Gojo’s ears perked up at the sound of your rumaging, his eyes almost brightening at the sight of the hand sanitizer, and you pinched it between two fingers before throwing it his way, watching as he effortlessly caught it and began spraying his large palms with the lavender scent.
“Thank you,” he mumbled again, his voice slightly losing the edge it had from before as he passed it back to you, and you smiled, nodding once before you zipped it back up.
You tried to ignore the way Shoko was staring at you.
“Lucky us that we don’t have labs, huh?” Suguru called out, throwing another tiny pillow in your direction, but this time you dodged it, moving your head down slightly so that it would miss. You huff a bit, looking over at Suguru as he shrugged, winking as he went back to his phone.
Suguru was another English major, the reason the two of you got familiar in the first place. He liked to say that the two of you balanced out Gojo and Shoko, but you just thought that it pushed you even further down the list of potential people your pathetic crush could be interested in.
There were a couple of things that you had come to terms with if you were going to crush on him. One was that you had to know in full certainty that nothing was going to come from it. You weren’t going to risk the friendship, no matter how small, by going and confessing and having everything be messy. Two, was that you weren’t going to feel, or at least try not to feel, jealous if he entertained the idea of pursuing something with someone else. And three, was that Gojo Satoru was so incredibly picky when it came to potential partners, that it might be impossible for even the most amazing people to snag a chance.
“I don’t know,” you mumbled, eyes squinting as you tried to make out what one of the characters was saying, “You didn’t have to do that project with Armie.”
Suguru hummed, his brow raising as he thought back to your shared class and the project that paired you up with people you didn’t know, Suguru getting the better end of the stick while you were stuck with someone who insisted on plugging the project prompt into a generator.
“Didn’t you report him?” Satoru asked, his eyes still trained on his work, but the question was now directed to you given the fact that he had sat in on a couple of your tirades in which you would drone on about how the boy was nearly about to graduate and still couldn’t cite sources when he, in one of his brief moments of providing comments, would reiterate to report it to the professor.
You sank into your spot, giving him a suppressed look, one where your eyes met before you shared a glimpse with Suguru. Your friend rolled his eyes from across the room, shaking his head in annoyance as Satoru looked between the two of you.
“She said that she didn’t want to ‘be a bitch’,” Suguru said, restating the words as his fingers move up and down in the air, quoting the statement you had said to him moments before you had to present the assignment in front of the class, shushing him as you pushed him away, insisting that even though you had done the entire project on your own, that it wasn’t worth the hassle to make a report with the professor and potentially have someone out for you, “I said otherwise, but she,” Suguru gave you a pointed look, “Said she’d cut my hair if I made it a ‘big deal’.”
Satoru’s eyes lingered on the side of your face, and you purposefully kept your head ducked and the book closer, so close that it was nearly touching your nose, as you tried to shield away their judging eyes in embarrassment.
“You need to stop caring about what other people think,” Shoko said as she shoved you with her knee, this time just a little bit harder because she knows you and knows what you hide in the fear of making others think something of you that wasn’t good, “I really think your professor would’ve heard your case if you made it.”
You groaned, swatting at her leg with your book as you shuffled away, backing into another corner as you tried to readjust to the new position.
“Yeah,” Suguru added, resting his phone momentarily on his chest, “I think it would help if you were more selfish.”
You rolled your eyes, shaking your head at the prospect.
“I just hate confrontation,” you murmur defensively, gnawing on your bottom lip as you flip a page, “And, plus…you have to give me some credit - at least I told him that he was being frustrating,” you say, pretending to ignore them, your eyes re-reading the same word over and over again until you were confident that they were going to drop this subject, this horse that they’ve beaten multiple times, one that ended with you assuring them that you were going to speak up more until it all looped back again to times like this.
“Speaking of confrontation, did you ever get a refund for that ticket?”
There was a beat of silence before you let out a frustrated groan when Shoko reminded you of the one task you had forgotten to do in the past couple of days, your head falling to your knees as your palms jammed into your eyes.
“No, oh my god, you’re so right,” your voice is muffled as you bookmark your page, your fists clenching at your own mistake as your eyes crack open, “Oh my god, I can’t believe I forgot to follow up on that!”
Shoko chuckled, rolling her eyes as Suguru and Satoru shared a look, them now sharing confusion as you writhe on the floor at the thought of knowing you could’ve saved a couple of bucks had you not forgotten to call up the school of drama help center for accidentally buying an extra ticket to the showing of The Beggar’s Opera. And, seeing that it was Tuesday and just days before the theatre program, one that needed funds, was about to perform, the deadline for your refund was most likely up.
“So does that mean you need me to come with you next Saturday?” Shoko offered, her lips quirking up slightly as your head shot up, nodding quickly as your hands flew to hers, shaking them feverishly.
“Would you? Would you really?” You ask, and her laughter grows, shoving you off playfully by pushing your forehead back to where you were sitting.
“I’ll see what I can do,” she says with a sigh, winking at you before she goes back to her phone, and you settle back in your seat as you gnaw on your lips, thinking back to how on earth you could have possibly messed up so bad when you so usually only buy one ticket for yourself, but you push it aside, thankful that your dearest friend was at least going to make use of it.
You, Suguru, and Shoko shared a small laugh and went on with the conversation, but you heard a low, deep noise, something only you could hear, as Suguru and Shoko returned to bickering about which major Shoko was best suited for.
The sound made you glance up briefly, looking over the pages to see Gojo still staring at you, his lashes fluttering before he snapped back to it and went back to doing his work.
Minutes turned into a few hours, and the room was filled with the occasional story and laughter, but mostly the four of you worked together on different assignments, sometimes looking up as you would recall something from the past couple of days that you were saving to tell them in person.
It seemed like everything was going smoothly until Suguru got a notification on his phone, his face lighting up as he swiveled out of his bed, jumping onto the floor as he tugged his shoes on, not explaining anything as the three of you glanced up, waiting.
“My food’s here,” he said over his shoulder, practically gleaming as he cocked his head in Shoko’s direction, “Come down with me, will you? I need some help.”
You scoff, smiling to yourself as you try to imagine just how much food he had ordered, but careful not to be too loud because you knew he would be sharing it with you all after some choice complaints were heard.
Shoko grumbles, but obliged, lifting up from the couch as she stretches, nudging you playing with the tip of her foot as she throws a pillow your way, walking towards Suguru as he holds the door open for her, the two of them calling out some brief goodbye as they head down to the lobby.
When the door clicks behind them, you’re suddenly aware of the fact that it’s only you and Satoru left, and you let your stare linger on the wall for a bit before you look away, suddenly sheepish when you catch his glance from his seat on the couch.
He clears his throat, eyes flickering from his screen to the book in your lap, the highlighters strewn around you, sticky notes sticking out from between the pages, and he points a finger at it.
“What’re you reading?”
Your brows raise slightly, and your chin ducks down to the book, and you sit up a little straighter as you place a bookmark in the middle of your page you lifting the cover, letting him read the cover as he adjusts his glasses over his eyes.
“Oh,” he says, his voice holding a lithe of acknowledgement as he slowly sets his laptop to the side, shifting slightly closer, “I’ve read this, I think.”
Your head tilts a little, lips quirking a little bit at the sides with a small smile as you look back at the cover.
“You’ve read The Norton Anthology, Volume C before?”
His mouth parts, closing it before he gapes at you, and your grin turns into a big smile, waving it away as you shake your head, shrugging at his stammering expression. He’s so cute when caught in a lie.
“I’m only kidding,” you swear, setting your book down, your knees pulled towards your chest, arms wrapping around your legs, “I’m sure you’ve had to read something like this for one of your previous classes.”
“You’re bothersome,” he murmurs, but his voice holds no bite as you let out another barking laugh, rolling your eyes as he tries not to smile, “I’m only trying to be polite.”
You purse your lips together, giving him a questioning look as he shoots you one back.
“I didn’t know politeness was in your artillery,” you quip, and he scoffs, moving his glasses upwards as he rubs at his tired eyes, resting backwards into the cushions as his legs part, and you try not to let your eyes linger on his thighs.
“I have a reserve for choice people,” he says, opening his eyes back as he looks back at you, yawning as he moves on, “How was your presentation?”
Your smile falters for a second as your stare turns questioning, chewing on your lips as it turns into something sweeter, something smitten because he’s asking about the presentation you had mentioned once in passing the last weekend you had hung out, stressing over your slides and sources, and trying to seem nonchalant as you finger traces little patterns on the floor.
“It was good,” you tell him, trying not to seem too prideful as you murmur, “My professor said it was exactly what he was looking for.”
His face shifts, no longer annoyed as you try not to appear bashful, but his teeth shine as his rosy cheeks pull upwards as he gives you one of those smiles that makes you feel warm and happy and giddy.
“Yeah?” He asks, shifting a little bit as he waved his teasingness off, rolling your eyes as you groan, nodding exaggeratedly as you go back to organizing your highlighters and pens, but he seems intent on pushing this: “Didn’t you say it was the hardest assignment of the class?”
You look up at him from above your lashes, trying not to smile again as you shrug indifferently, done with arranging your stationery based on colors as your knees knock together, throwing a pillow his way that he effortlessly catches.
“I mean, everyone told me that it was really, really hard, so-” But you’re cut off by the door swinging open, and the two of you crane your necks around to see Shoko and Suguru arguing over something irrelevant, food nestled in their hands as they close the door behind them with a slam.
They start telling you two about the delivery fee and the outrageousness that one of the containers had tipped over, but you’re still busy thinking about how Satoru remembered something so trivial, giving them quiet hums as they spread out the food on the small coffee table, and trying to act normal.
Like you have for the past two years.
—
The week passed as it usually does, with papers, readings, and assignments that needed to be completed at an unmanageable rate.
You had expected the usual and mundane things, and for the most part, that’s what came your way. Nights spent in each other's rooms as you finish up your work, spliced with moments where you would all talk, days filled with going to lectures and walking around campus till you found a quiet study spot. Things that you could predict and plan for.
For the most part.
Another thing that your little group would occasionally do was meet up at the end of the week at one of the pubs around campus, most of them serving mediocre food and somewhat better drinks, and offer you all a time to reconvene after a usually stressful couple of days.
The pub was small and quaint, but you enjoyed the warmth and laughter that muddled together to make the ambiance somewhat private. Either Suguru or Shoko would arrive there early and try to secure the usual spot at the booth near the end of the establishment, seeing that either of them didn’t have classes on Fridays, while the other three would meet up outside of Satoru’s biophysical chemistry class and walk there together.
Which is why you found yourself back on that Friday, sitting next to Shoko, settling into your seat as she clambered in after you. Suguru almost pushes Satoru in, impatient to sit down and get back to talking, and you watch as the white-haired man sits in front of you, his hands clasped together as he stares at the wood-grain of the table.
“How were classes?” Shoko finally asks, looking between you and Satoru as she takes a sip from her drink.
You sigh, shrugging as your fingers play with the bottom of your cup, the condensation slipping down as you rub at your tired eyes.
“Fine, I guess,” you say, drinking some water as you wipe at the corner of your lips, “My professor could’ve ended the class, like, twenty minutes earlier than he did.”
She nods solemnly, patting your thigh in solidarity as she passes the bowl of crisps towards you, nudging you to take one to help settle your stomach after having back-to-back classes, knowing how hangry it made you.
“Is this the professor who needs you to see a classical play?” Suguru asked, taking some of the snack as his arms crossed on top of the table, leaning in slightly as you licked some of the salt from your lips, nodding.
“Yeah,” you heave another sigh, elbowing Shoko as you continue, “Which is why I’m seeing Beggar’s Opera next week. I mean, the theatre program did a couple of Shakespeare ones earlier this semester, but…ugh, I just can’t watch another performance of Romeo and Juliet.” You murmur with a groan, resting your chin on the palm of your hand as Suguru hums in agreement.
“You don’t like Shakespeare?”
Your eyes shift over to the man in front of you who asked the question.
Your brows furrow slightly in the middle, lips pulling into a small pout as you shake your head, playing with the ring of water your drink had left as you itch your nose, trying not to focus too hard on the pretty pink color on Gojo’s cheeks because of the slightly toasty feel of the room.
“I do,” you say slugishly, “It’s just that when the only work of his that tends to be popular isn’t The Tempest, I get a little annoyed.”
Suguru snorts, shaking his head as his fingers wag at you.
“That’s not even nearly his best stuff,” he argues, and you roll your eyes, your head tilting badly in annoyance after knowing what this was going to lead to, “I can’t believe you still think that it outweighs Richard II.”
Satoru and Shoko’s eyes bounce between you and your ink-haired friend.
“I’d rather die on the hill of petty magic versus royal family drama,” You quip back, your brow slightly raised.
Suguru huffed, shaking his head in dismay as he lightly shoved your foot underneath the table, a small smile on both your faces.
“Is Tempest the one with the shipwreck?” Gojo asks, his head tilting slightly as his glasses lean on his nose bridge. You nod, grinning at the fact that someone in the group was able to identify such a classic piece of literary work.
You open your mouth to agree, but Suguru beats you to it.
“How do you know that?” He glances sideways at his friend, his brow raised in slight shock as Shoko snorts.
Gojo shrugs, his elbows resting on the table as the fabric of his sweater tightens around his arms, making him look delectable and otherworldly. You have to tear your eyes away from it before it becomes too noticeable.
“We went to the same secondary school,” Gojo argues, saying it as if it were the most obvious explanation in the world, “I paid attention…clearly more than others,” he adds under his breath, causing you to drop your hand to your mouth to hide the satisfied grin from when Suguru deflated in slight embarrassment.
“Oh, speaking of blast from the past,” Shoko shuffles, looking at her phone screen as if suddenly remembering something, “Vi’s coming back for break.”
You watch as Gojo and Suguru stop their silent bickering by messing with each other's stuff as they look up to Shoko. Suguru’s thin brow shoots upwards, his mouth turning into a surprised line as Gojo stares blankly, an unreadable expression on his face as you poke Shoko’s thigh, shaking your head in confusion.
“Who?” You murmur, your eyes squinting as Shoko looks at you, her mouth slightly dropping as she also remembers that you didn’t grow up with them.
“Vivienne March,” Suguru explains, beating someone once again to explain something because he could never hold onto a piece of information for longer than three seconds if he knows that somebody in his vicinity doesn’t know it, “She went to school with us for, what? Five, six years?” He looks between Gojo and Shoko, and they both nod, Shoko unlocking her phone as she goes to pull up the girl's instagram to show you what she looks like, “She’s his ex,” he murmurs as if secretly, pointing at his friend next to him as you feel something in your gut shift, but he clearly doesn’t tell because he leaves that point entirely.
“But I thought she preferred to stay in America till her spring semester was over?” He asks, confused, waiting for you to be done looking, as he waits for Shoko to explain it.
You take her phone gingerly, looking at the girl's account as you carefully click through her posts. You’re greeted with an aesthetic array of photos, some of her friends, some of her cat, and pretty pictures of old brick buildings and fall trees. But your eyebrows slowly move up your face when you see her.
Your thumb swipes through each post as you see her stunning hair framing her face in freshly done curls, her eyes striking and delicate as she wanders around a bookstore. Her outfits are always perfectly curated, and her makeup delicately done to accentuate her already natural beauty in a way that makes a part of you, something you tried to bury and starve, twist with envy at the effortlessness of her perfection.
“Guess she had a change of heart this year,” Shoko says, taking her phone back from your outstretched hand, turning it off as she placed it face down on the table, “She texted me this morning saying that she was ‘gonna be here for December and some of January and that she wanted to catch up.”
“You would like her,” Suguru directs his attention back at you, his words matching the genuine smile on his face, “She’s super bright and bubbly. And she’s so funny. Oh, and she's, like, insanely smart. She graduated from Cambridge when she was nineteen, and she’s doing grad school at Harvard.”
“Hmm, yeah,” Shoko hums, “I mean, she almost came here if she didn’t get the call from Harvard,” she nudges you with her shoulder, “But I don’t know how much he,” she points her eyes to Satoru, watching the way his mouth slightly parts at being called out, “Would’ve appreciated that, though.”
He scoffs, his tongue poking at his cheek as he leans in slightly, his arms crossing the table as Suguru snickers.
“I have no issue with Vivienne,” he argues, his brows pulling into a cute little frown, “She was just…”
“What?” Suguru juts in, Shoko scoffing a laugh next to you as Gojo only peers at him from the side of his eyes, “Madly in love with you? Was going to pick Oxford to be with you? And you were…what, days away from breaking up with her when she came sobbing to us that you have the emotional intelligence of a rock?”
Your eyes widen slightly, looking over at Shoko for confirmation, one she returns with a faint grin. Despite the sunken feeling in your heart, one that you often get whenever you are reminded of the fact that, unfortunately, literally everyone is also in love with Gojo Satoru, you have to control your face not to giggle at the statement.
Gojo makes a noise deep in his throat, the tips of his ears slightly pink from the added attention.
You swallow as you try to grapple with all this information. But, as always, the conversation moves on and you push everything back as you find yourself smiling once again, listening to how Suguru animatedly tells the story of how he bombed one of his essays because he forgot which citation format to use, and you try to not make it obvious how you’d peek over at Shoko now and then and see who it was that she was stalking, probably some girl from her class that she was plotting on.
The music lolls on in the background, the pub getting more packed with students and tired workers, and you find yourself content with listening to your friends tell you about their week, taking small sips from your straw as you grin and laugh as poke Shoko’s thigh whenever a cute guy, devastatingly never as cute as Gojo, walks by the table, and she, gripping your knee whenever a girl her type flashes her a look from over their shoulders.
“I think I’m wanted somewhere else at the moment,” she whispers, leaning closer to your ear as you follow her line of sight to a girl sitting at the bar, her long blonde hair thrown over her shoulder as she steals the occasional glance at your friend, “I’ll be back.”
You giggle, pushing at her to go as she swats your hand away playfully, sending you a wink as you send one back, watching her go as Suguru and Gojo watch silently, sending each other knowing looks before Shoko disappears behind the other booths.
“Well, if she’s going, might as well take this time to piss,” Suguru states, putting his hands on the wood as he hoists himself up, sending a cheeky little smile as he imitates Shoko’s sashay, “Don’t wait up.”
You roll your eyes, trying not to watch him leave as if to draw out the silence that will inevitably follow, seeing that it’s just you and Gojo remaining. Your fingers play with your empty glass as you glance back to him, sending him a small smile as you feel chagrin already seeping into your veins.
He clears his throat, his eyes darting from your face to your arms, his tongue poking his cheek as he swallows. You wonder how much he’s dreading the awkward silence that has the possibility of ensuing.
“Water?”
Your eyes squint at the sudden question, looking down to the long finger he has pointed at your glass, and you look back up at him, wondering if he was stating the obvious or if your feelings for him had made you delirious and unable to compute anything that comes out of his mouth.
“Do you want some more water?” He explains, and you feel your cheeks heat again at your blunder, “I’m going up there to get a refill anyway.”
You nod gratefully, swallowing your feelings down as you glance up at him, handing him your empty glass with ice sloshing around as your smile wobbles.
“I’d appreciate it, thank you,” your voice dips slightly as you grin stupidly the longer you look at his long lashes and his pink lips, somewhat glad that he was getting away so you could less opportunities to screw up, and you watch as his beautifully large hand wraps around the glass like it was nothing, sending you a small nod as he crouches slightly so that the overhanging light wouldn’t hit his head on the way out.
Leaving you alone, you pull out your phone, also thankful to have a little moment to yourself as you quickly try to catch up on the notifications you had gotten in the past couple of hours, as the noise around you mixes, adding a comforting ambience as you lean against the old walls, your head leaning against your fist.
You were so engrossed in your own little bubble that you didn’t notice the figure hovering near the other end of the table, only noticing the man when you looked to the side, thinking that either Suguru or Gojo was back, only for your eyes to widen in shock and surprise to be greeted with an unfamiliar face.
Letting out a small noise, adjacent to an audible gulp, you sit up straighter, looking bashfully at him as you turn your phone off, taking in his slender frame and the rectangular-framed glasses that sit wonkily on his nose as he fidgets nervously with the hem of his lumpy sweater. Ironically, having everything that Gojo has but wearing it so drastically differently that you have to snap yourself out of the comparison.
The boy's hair is slightly parted, light blonde, and his eyes framed with what seemed like brown lashes. His cheeks are dusted with light freckles, and his smile is lopsided as he scratches the back of his neck.
Cute in a schoolish way, you think.
“H-hi,” his voice is high, squeaking and wobbly as he leans on the booth, not knowing what to do with his arms as he uses the back of his hand to push his glasses upwards, “Hi, I just…”
Your head tilts slightly, curiosity filling your eyes as you give him a gentle smile, waiting patiently for him to find his words.
“I’m Kento,” he stammers after a second, scratching behind his ears as a red flush settles over his high cheeks, “I’m sitting over there,” he points to a table behind him, and your neck cranes to see a group of boys his age all staring at his back, “And I just thought-”
He opens his mouth to say something else, but pauses, his gaze drifting to something, or rather someone, coming his way, and you’re too focused on the way sweat dots at his hairline or the way he fidgets with the hem of his sweater to even notice the full glass of water sliding in front of you from the other side of the booth.
Your back straightens as your head whips to the side, eyes widening when you realize that Satoru had returned, his one drink nestled in his hand as his stare bounces between you and, who you evidently had just discovered, Kento.
Blue eyes flicker over your face, a moment's decision faltering in his mind as he slithers into not his original seat in front of you, but next to you, his large frame taking up half of your side of the both as your brows furrow in confusion, lips pulling into a tote as your eyes squint at the way he hunkers in like it was normal.
Is he okay? You try not to have your heart burst out of your chest and flip flop around on the table like a fish out of water at being in such proximity to Satoru, but you don’t even have time to think about that as the rest of your mind falters, trying to make sense of this behavior.
One of his beefy arms unravels from his side as it stretches above your head, resting atop the cushioned seats as he sighs deeply through his nose, taking a sip of his drink as if he hadn’t interrupted anything, and his chin turns over to the boy, waiting.
Kento stammers, even worse than before, as he pushes back his spiky hair with a hand, looking between you and Satoru as you blink slowly, not really knowing what to do, awkwardly lingering in your seat as you wonder if anybody’s going to talk.
“Everything alright?” Satoru asks finally, his voice slightly lower than usual, somewhat taunting but hard to tell, seeing that his face was blank, thick as it almost bounces off Kento’s skull, his cheeks turning into a bright pink as you lets out a small exhale of air, something resembling a shocked laugh at the strange and sudden shift in his behavior.
“I, uh, I,” Kento’s voice wobbles as he seizes up Satoru’s size and his overall presence, a strange look of shock and even awe as you gnaw on the inside of your cheek, not fully knowing what was going on as Kento’s head dips in embarrassment, “I’m sorry…I didn’t know, uh, that you, you were…yeah…sorry…”
His arm raises in a small wave, quickly turning on his heels, the back of his neck almost red as you blink rapidly, letting out a small huff of air as your neck almost snaps towards the man next to you, stammering as you try to find your words.
Satoru looks at you, taking another sip.
“What?”
You scoff, eyes nearly bulging out of your head as you stumble over a slew of words.
“What? W-what do you mean what?” You let out a bewildered laugh, looking across the pub at the boy and his group of friends that almost seem to be comforting him, their hands on his shoulders as he profusely shakes his head, “What the hell was that for?”
His white brows pinch in the middle, as if he doesn't understand your startlement, as if you were the one being crazy.
But you weren’t being crazy. Not in the slightest.
You brushed it off the first time Satoru scared off a guy who was talking to you. You thought it was strange, sure, how in the middle of your lively conversation of John Milton and Paradise Lost that he wandered from the other side of the room, suddenly attached to your side, his height towering over the other guy as he quieted down and scurried away. You just chalked it up to him being bored, despite how annoyed you were.
The second time, a guy was seconds away from putting his phone in your number when Satoru’s voice rang in your ears, and you watched, horrified, as he peered down at the guy's cracked phone screen, scoffing at the fact that he was listening to some stupid band he disapproved of.
Then there was the time when you were at this same pub, getting some drinks for Shoko, waiting at the counter, flirting with the guy next to you when Satoru found his way back to you, as if pulled by a magnet, and asked the guy if he always chose to talk to girls he didn’t know with a fresh hickey on his neck. (That one you weren’t mad at, more so embarrassed).
But it’s happened countless times. At the pub, at gatherings, at galas he’s invited you to as his plus one because he said nobody else could make it, at the library when he came a little too early and a guy from your class was sitting next to you, at the cafe, and at the small party he threw last year.
And if you weren’t so in love with him, you’d be madder than you were. You knew he was just being a protective and caring friend, not wanting you to get hurt, but you knew you’d have to start moving on from this debilitating crush, and he wasn’t making it any easier.
“I just asked him if everything was alright,” he explained, his tone bordering on bored as he pulls out his phone, checking the time as he angles his body slightly to look at you better, and you're somewhat aware of the fact that his arm is still somewhere above your head, “He’s the one that scurried away.”
Your mouth drops open, your palms jamming into your eye sockets as your head hits the table, banging it a couple times as you try to pull away from him, slightly angered, slightly, and very, ever so slightly, internally flustered at something you definitely should be flustered over.
“You…you scared him away!” Your voice is muffled as you groan, not caring much as you shoot him an angry and bitter look.
Satoru’s lashes flutter slightly, his pink lips pulling into a confused line as you shove his knee with your own, realizing that you were, in fact, not joking and were seriously considering the idea of giving that blubbering mess a chance.
“Are you - are you serious?” His thumb jabs in the general direction of where he had gone, “Him?”
You roll your eyes, chest heaving with a sigh as your forehead continues to rest on the cool tabletop, the tip of your nose rubbing against the varnish as you groan.
Deep down, you know that this crush of yours is fruitless and useless. It’s never going to get anywhere, and the only thing it can offer you is more hurt and rejection. You know that you are so far from his type and out of your league that he’d never see you as more than a friend, if that, but you continued to have it because it lit a fire inside of you that you sadistically enjoyed.
That being said, you would prefer, at some point, to have a romantic moment, even if fleeting, and having the man you’ve been in love with for two years chase away the only guy who’s had the balls to come up to you made you irrationally annoyed for some reason that you didn’t fully understand.
“He…he seemed nice,” you argue, your eyes closing shut as your hand shifts, and you rest your cheek on the back of it, your back bent at an angle as you look up at him from your position on the table, “And he was cute-”
Gojo cuts you off with a startled laugh, a disbelieving one as his eyebrows shoot upwards, showing more than the five emotions you usually see him with as genuine shock laces his features, and it only spurs on that angry fire inside of you as you press.
“What? What? He was cute!” Your head lifts quickly from its spot on the table as your body shifts to look at him even better than before, trying not to notice the cute wrinkle of his nose or the frosty irises of his eyes that are looking so intently at you that it could knock the air out of your lungs if you stare long enough, “And I…I don’t know, I think he wanted to talk to me!”
Gojo snorts, his arm tightening around the cushion behind you, his hand dangling off the end, his fingers dangerously close to the side of your ear as you swallow thickly.
“Well, of course, he wanted to talk to you,” his other hand pushes his glasses upwards, the veins on the back of his hand evident, “ I just can’t believe that he’s someone you’d want to entertain.”
You stutter, hurt flashing across your face as it pulls into sour bewilderment.
You’ve barely talked to Satoru for more than a couple of minutes at a time about classes or projects or annoying classmates, and you can’t believe your luck that the first conversation between the two of you that stemmed outside of those points is about this.
“What, what’s that supposed to mean?” Your voice dips slightly, embarrassed, as his own expression slightly shifts at your tone.
He pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly not expecting this to blow up in his face as it did, and he sighs, retreating to his old, composed self as he explains himself.
“Look, I have him in a couple of my classes,” he starts again, lips pulling into a thin line as he looks over his shoulder to Kento and then glances back to you, “He shows up late and never does his work and always asks to most ridiculous questions,” Satoru adds and you try not to have your lips quirk at the sudden revelation, not wanting to give in and let your foolish feeling stake the wheel and guide you to forgiving him, but it’s not use as he continues, “I just figured that…someone like that isn’t someone good for you. Even if he did just want to talk.”
Your mouth dries up, and you try not to let your head burst and remind yourself that he’s thinking about this from a friend's perspective, something kind and caring and companionly, but not in the way you would want from your crush, but Satoru is still waiting on your response so instead you swallow everything down and your lips tote, avoiding eye contact as you attempt to seem indifferent despite your outburst.
“How ridiculous are his questions?” You finally ask, peeking over at him from where your gaze had been training on the ice in your water, and you swear you see a flicker of surprise take over his gorgeous features, as though you were going crazy with the way his blankness faded momentarily and gave way to a little smile.
He sighs, this time lighter, his hand behind you shifting ever so slightly to push at the back of your head, gingerly but in a teasing way as you try not to smile a giddy smile, one that doesn’t reflect the fact that you couldn’t really care about the guy who had come up to talk to you when Satoru cared enough because he didn’t think he was good enough for you to talk to.
“Even more ridiculous than asking if adding ice to rice would help it steam up more than if you used water,” he says, picking up his drink as he nurses it over his mouth, fighting back a smug grin at the way you sputter, pushing him roughly as your cheeks heat up again for bringing up one of your late-night queries.
“Fine, fine, fine, I’ll give you this one!” You rub at your eyes, shoulders hunched, “But you have to stop scaring off every single guy that tries to talk to me! He could be a normal guy who’s going to come up, and you’re going to disapprove of him just because he wears mismatched socks or only writes in pen!”
Satoru snorted indifferently, proving your point that he didn’t seem to care.
“Writing solely in pen is psychotic behavior,” he grumbled to himself, recalling the time one of his classmates had the gall to ask you for your number before he quickly shut it down, inserting himself in the middle of the conversation until the guy gave up and left.
You groan, head dropping back onto the table as you tap it lightly, a quiet thud reverberating in your tiny corner of the room.
“One of these days you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that the reason you shut people down is different from the reasons I shut people down.” You say, moving your arms upward so that you could set your cheek on it, looking at the empty seats in front of you instead of the man you’ve had a crush on, sputters.
“What do you mean?” His voice drops a little bit, and you angle your head to look up at him, brows pinching in the middle as you let out a little laugh, something sardonic as you shake your head to yourself.
“You…” you pause, stopping, sighing to yourself as you try to control your words before you say something you’ll regret, “You have like…perfect people coming up to you. And if you choose to reject them, that’s up to you, I get it. But last week you turned a girl down because she said that Star Wars was a waste of money,” the two of you share small laugh because you can recall just how red he got, embarrassed but peeved when somebody just offended his entire lifeline, but you continue, “It…it’s just,” you press your lips together as something in your chest clenched, “I don’t really have that luxury. I don’t have perfect guys coming up to me with little quirks, you know? There’s always something wrong with them, even if I don’t see it then. Like they don’t show up to dates or they make fun of my major, or just…only want to sleep with me, and then when they find out I don’t want that, they leave. And any of the sane ones that have small issues, you’re always there to shoot them down!”
You stop, taking in a deep breath as you try to regulate your emotions, refusing to look at him right now as you let some pent-up feelings loose, just grateful that he hasn’t left and decided to let you figure this out on your own.
“Look,” you glance at him, giving him a small smile, “I’m thankful that you care. Really, I am. But…but I just want to experience something…with someone, y’know? At least once when I’m still in university. I’m almost twenty-one, and I haven’t even had my first kiss!” Despite how embarrassing it is, it slips out, and your chees heat up as you hurry on with your ramble, “And if it has to be with something who asks stupid questions or says my name wrong on the first attempt or doesn’t know what my favorite color is, I guess I’m just gonna have to bite the bullet and take that risk. I,” you look away, back to focusing on the leather cushions in front of you as you gnaw on your lip, “I don’t really have any other option.”
Giving it a moment, you let your shoulders sink, going back to playing with the straw wrapper in front of you as you debate whether it would be better to just throw yourself out the window or risk saying something else that you’d stay awake the next couple of nights pinching yourself over.
You heard him inhale exaggeratingly, the arm behind you moving a little downwards in order to hook one of his fingers around the collar of your sweater, trying to grab your attention. You tilt your chin sideways, lips pursed, and attempt not to let his overwhelming presences budge how bitter you were feeling for some reason.
“I think,” he sighed again, gnawing on his bottom lip as he tried to formulate his thoughts, the overhead lamp casting a soft orange light over his face and it made your pitiful stomach churn with desperate want, “I think that if you’re too pessimistic.”
That get’s a dry laugh from you, and you roll your eyes at his statement. Before he’s able to say anything, he gets interrupted by Suguru rounding the corner, sliding into his seat with a wide grin, one that falls when he sees his friend has changed the seating arrangement.
“Why’d you move?”
Satoru paused, tearing his eyes away from the side of your face as he glanced at his friend, his fingers moving upwards as you tried not to look at him and make anything obvious. You hope he doesn’t bring up Kento and your little meltdown, but he seems to read your mind.
“You were bothering me too much,” he mutters, and Suguru lets out a startled scoff, throwing the hair tie around his wrist at him as Sator just flings it to the side. Suguru doesn’t push, though, and starts telling the two of you that he was held up at the bathroom entrances because a couple was having a ‘lover's spat’, his words not yours, and he just had to hear it before he left.
The rest of the night continued as it usually does.
If you could consider the uneven rhythm of your heart as normal.
—
Another week had passed, another seven days of agonizingly slow school work and duties.
It seemed like the days would flicker away at a snail-like pace until it got you to the one day of the week that you actually wished wouldn’t arrive, and would force you to stalk around the limited space of your dorm room as you think about what to wear to the theatre production that’s taking place in thirty minutes.
Your hand was on your hip, feet tapping against the floor as you looked at the two outfits you had hung on your dresser, lips pursed as your eyes moved back and forth between the one that would go better with those pair of kitten heels you thrifted with Shoko, or the dres that you rarely get to wear.
It took a couple more seconds of deciding, but you ultimately picked the more comfortable option, knowing that the university theater was always freezing, especially in October, and that a cute sweater was probably the better choice.
Thankfully, this gave you some more time to fix your hair and touch up your makeup, humming along to the music as your eye kept wandering down to your phone and then to your door, squinting as you turned it over, confused as to what was taking Shoko so long.
Instantly, your eyes widen at the plethora of messages you have from Shoko, a telltale sign that something was seriously wrong, given the fact that she never sent more than two messages at once.
shoko: pick up
shoko: girl ur literally always on ur phone wya
shoko: pls pls pls pick up
shoko: ur making me beg rn pls can u call me back
shoko: pls
You don’t have time to send her one of your stupid stickers, your fingers fumbling around as you look at the five missed calls you have from her, shaking your head in dismay at how it was possible to leave your phone alone for twenty minutes and come back to this.
It doesn’t take more than a ring before she answers on the other line.
“Are you okay?” Your voice cuts through immediately, rushed and worried, your legs bouncing as you hear some people talking in the background, and you can hear the way Shoko snaps at them to hush so that she can hear you better.
“Hi, yeah, no, no I’m fine - hey can you guys just,” she calls out again, hey annoyance dripping form her tone, some shuffling happening over the line as she moves somewhere where the noise is less, “Hey, hi, sorry for the noise,” she starts again and you just hum, eyebrows still pinches together in worry as you wait for her to continue, “I’m really sorry for spamming you, but I have some news.”
The worry on your face melts as you lean back in your seat.
“Yeah…?” you ask, but already predicting what it was that she was stressing out over telling you, but she lets out another exhale, and you could imagine her nodding wherever it was that she was at.
“I’m so sorry but I’m at work right now and,” some clattering happens in the background, the kitchen in great hustle for the Saturday evening rush it usually has at the restaurant she waitresses for, “God, Tommy just screwed everything up with our shifts and I thought he had written me as off for tonight but he wrote me as off for next Saturday and I wasn’t able to fine somebody to-”
You laugh softly, cutting off her rambling.
“‘Ko, babe, it’s fine, don’t worry about it,” you stress, leaning in slightly as you hear some silverware being unloaded, “It’s so okay, your job is so much more important than-”
“No, you’re more important than this - believe me,” she cuts you off this time, and you can see her standing hunched in the corner, gnawing on her fingernails in stress, “And I promised you I’d come with you and I can’t, and now I…I feel horrible.”
A smile creeps onto your lips, and you shake your head.
“It’s fine,” you stress, chuckling at her incoherent rambles, “I promise. The play’s going to be lengthy anyway, might as well take the time to make some money while you’re at it.”
You hear nothing except the kitchen roaring in the background for a few seconds before she sighs, clicking her tongue as she hums softly.
“You sure?”
“I’m sure,” you tell her, hearing her chuckle softly over the phone, the disappointment evident in her voice, and you didn’t want to push her over the edge despite the small flicker of disappointment of having to go alone, “I promise you’re not gonna be missing anything.”
“Look, I know it’s not the same, but I was with Suguru when I found out, and he’s said that he could-”
This time, she’s cut off, but not by you.
A knock sounds over your door.
You sigh, smiling at your friend as you slowly rise, “You guys are so sweet, but you should’ve told him I’d be fine. Really, I usually do these things by myself anyway.”
She groans at your antics, somebody calling her name from the back as she tells them that she’s almost done.
“Shit, I have to go, but promise me you’ll tell me about how tonight goes, yeah?” She sounds hurried, and you make a few steps towards your door as you snort, rolling your eyes as you unlock the brass knob, shaking your head at the thought.
“Tell you about what? Oh, like how Suguru has a horrific attention span and can’t…” You swing the door wide open, but you trail off as your mouth hangs slightly, not greeted by your black-haired and eyebrow-pierced friend,
But Satoru.
Shoko seems to have picked up on your silence as meaning that you finally understood what she was talking about, and you can barely register her sing-songy bye as she leaves, the phone in your hand lying limp as Satoru’s brow raises skeptically at your dumbfounded expression.
Damn you, Shoko Ieiri.
“Hi,” you say breathlessly, almost stupidly, as your hand falls from behind the door to your side, tilting your head a bit as Satoru just stares, hands in his pockets, and you shake back to reality, laughing apologetically as your neck prickles, “Sorry, I…I was just expecting someone else.”
His brow arches even more, and you huff out a laugh.
“Shoko just said that Suguru was coming,” you explain, stepping back from the entranceway as his mouth parts slightly.
“Right,” he nods, his hair falling gracefully in his face as you churn in your spit at the magnificent sight of him in his denim jeans and the navy sweater he was in, “I hope it’s okay that I came. Suguru couldn’t make it.”
You blink, wanting to say that you were so okay with him, but you swallow that done as you shake your head, waving his statement away.
“This is…this is fine,” You stammer to say, your smile wobbly. You hope that he can’t pick up on the way that your eyes are roaming over the way his button-up sits comfortably on his broad chest, or the way his glasses look on the bridge of his nose, “I, uh, I just have to do my mascara, so give me like,” you look at the clock behind you. Your eyes bulge at the fact that you have only five minutes left, “Two seconds and I’ll be done.”
He nods, his head tilting slightly to the side as he looks at your face and his eyes travel down your outfit. His hand raises, a finger pointed at your sweater.
“Nice sweater,” he says, something teetering on teasing, and you look down, suddenly realizing that it’s the sweater he had given you last year for your birthday, the one that you had seen months prior after walking past a vintage store and exclaimed how much you liked it, only to be stumped by the price.
Your confusion melts into a wide smile, your head still poking out from outside your door as you survey the material, not noticing the way his eyes soften just a smidge at your flighty reaction.
“Oh - right, thank you again for getting it!” You say cheerfully, an entire evening or perfection and romance already forming in your head as you try not to appear too excited, pointing back to your room as you duck away, “I’ll, uh, I’ll be back, then!”
Satoru nods, giving you a small smile as you shut the door behind you, your back hitting it as you give yourself a moment to reciprocate, curse Shoko and her blasted antics, and calm your heartbeat down long enough.
This was so fine, you tried to tell yourself,
Everything was going to be fine.
—-
The lobby of the Oxford theater was unusually packed, and you even voiced your surprise when Satoru led you in, your eyes wide as you took in all the students, some looking at the programs, others waiting in line for the bathroom.
“Damn,” you mutter, squeezing past someone as Satoru follows behind you, “I didn’t think it was going to be this busy.”
The walk here had been…fine. You had talked for most of it, which you had predicted, and with the few times Satoru would interject and give some comments on the stories you told him about your week, you feel like you told five times that amount of embarrassing and lame jokes, shutting yourself up once after wincing at how terrible it was. Satoru cracked a small smile, though, a pitiful one, most likely to keep you from shutting up the entire night.
It’s strange, just how different you act around him. In attempts to make yourself seem cooler and interesting, you wind up embarrassing yourself even more. You could have sworn that you never acted like this with Shoko or Suguru, or literally anybody else, even your old crushes, but when it came to Satoru, you seemed to lose the sense of normalcy you had come to know.
But you don’t have time to worry about that, now trying to put your attention on wondering how many of the students here are from that stupid class you’re taking right now, and even looking in the sea of bodies confirms that answer when you see some familiar faces. The concession stand in the corner, the one run by the theater department to raise some extra funds, seems to be swarmed, and your stomach grumbles instantly at the smell of buttered popcorn that wafts through the air.
“Where’re our seats?” He’s standing by you now, and you have to crane your neck slightly to look at him. You sift through your tote, pulling out your wallet and opening it to reveal the tickets tucked inside, and hand one to him while keeping the other for yourself.
“Row H,” you read out loud, “You’re seat 18, and I’m 19.”
He nods, pocketing it before he looks back out into the lobby, his eyes focusing on the wide double doors that led you into the theater, watching the ticket taker check the people’s tickets before looking back at the concessions, remembering how much you were raving on your walk here about how good the snacks were.
“Do you still want some…?” He juts his chin towards the hand-made sign that reads Beggars Snacks!
“Hm?” You look back at the table, and you let out a small laugh, “Oh, yeah, right,” you look through your wallet again, putting your ticket there for safekeeping as you glance back up at his gorgeous face, “Yeah, I’ll be back. You can go find your seat, if you want.”
Satoru opens his mouth and then shuts it, glancing at you and then the doors, and his shoulder straightens slightly.
“Right, well….right,” he murmurs, looking a little torn, his voice drowning out by the roar of sound around you two, but you’re able to make out the low grumble of his after being near him for so long, “I’ll…I’ll see you in a few.”
You smile again, giving him two thumbs up as you turn on your heel, your hands clenching in frustration at how utterly inhuman you seem to act around him, somehow making it seem like it was your first day on this planet.
Peeking over your shoulder, you watch as he leaves towards the entrance of the theater, and you duck your head down as you find your way to the large line leading up to the snacks. Coming here for the past four years has taught you to go for the popcorn, pass on the homemade cookies, and snatch up the little boxes of candy if they have them.
Checking your phone as you wait idly, you text Shoko a slew of messages cursing her and her entire bloodline for blindsiding you like this, hoping she sees them after her grueling shift and only feels worse about leaving you like this.
Keep a tab of the line as it slowly moves, you eye the clock, knowing that the show was going to start soon. It seems to dwindle a bit, as some people in front of you and behind you give and leave, deciding it wasn’t worth it, and after scrolling through your feed a little bit more, you find yourself next in line.
Glancing through the snacks, your stomach protests louder, ravenous after a day fueled on granola bars, a pathetic excuse of a yogurt bowl, and some crisps you had lying around, until you feel your hopes and dreams plummet when you see a small sign at the edge of the table that says only cash.
Fucking bullshit, you think angrily, whipping your wallet out again as you rifle through the confines, who still uses only cash? What medieval system was this? They accepted cards last time, this is entirely-
And you could complain petulantly in your head as much as you want, but your face falls as you search through for the third time, coming to the consensus that you didn’t have a lick of cash on you. The person in front of you is almost done, but your shoulders sag as you begrudgingly step away, shaking your head in dismay as you make your way to the theater entrance, flashing your ticket to the ticket taker as he lets you in with a wide smile.
The ushers point you towards aisle H, and you patiently dispute the hate still inside of you, burning. Waiting as those in front of you find their seats, and it doesn’t take long before you’re able to see a pop of hair standing high amongst the rest of the people in the audience.
You move past a couple of people talking as you move closer, almost skidding when you stop instantly, realizing that Satoru was, in fact, not alone.
From this angle, you could see the girl standing in front of him, a wide grin on her face as she laughs at something he says. Your eyes go to his face, your posture falling even more when you see the little quirk of his lips, a sign that he wasn’t necessarily hating the conversation, and the loss of the popcorn feels pointless now as your stomach churns for another reason.
It was selfish to think that you were the only person who liked Satoru, but it didn’t hurt any less when you were confronted with this fact at least once a week. You knew you couldn’t expect anything from this stupid crush, a theorem forming inside your head that you continued to fall for Gojo Satoru just because you liked the sting of knowing you had no shot with him, and seeing other girls and their gleeful smiles at the fact that you probably had a chance is what maybe hurt the most.
You weren’t ever angry at these girls, understanding them completely, even admiring the way they could flirt so effortlessly, and treated you kindly whenever you were near, but it singed a part inside of you that liked to act that you were in this small fictional bubble that you dreamt of whenever he looked your way.
Like he was right now.
Standing awkwardly to the side, at the end of the row, you sway idly in your spot, looking at the two of them and then around, wondering when the lights were going to start dimming and notify you of when the show was about to start.
You hear your name being called, a familiar cluster of syllables from his throat, and you look away from the painting on the wall to the side as you see Satoru throwing up a hand, trying to grab your attention.
When he sees you finally looking his way, he turns back to the girl, saying a few more words as she nods, her smile still soft as she glances at you, a strange look on her face as she sends you another smile, and you can’t help but return it despite the sinking feeling in your gut.
She leaves through the other end, and you mutter a few apologies as you finally make your way down to where he was standing, ducking your head down sheepishly as you fidget with the strap of your tote.
“Hey,” you say meekly, your cheeks heating as you finally get to him, “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”
One of his hands waved, shaking his head as he looked back to where the girl had retreated with her friends.
“You weren’t interrupting,” he tells you, and your brows furrow slightly because that was a white lie if you’ve ver heard one, “I knew her from my lab,” he he says, scratching the back of his neck as his eyes trace of your face, falling to your empty arms as they squint, the conversation with the girl suddenly feeling his head as he points, “Where’s your popcorn?”
The past couple of moments seem to flee too as you wring your hands awkwardly together, shooting him a tight smile as you try to appear indifferent.
“Oh, they didn’t take card,” you mumble bitterly, “And I forgot my wads of cash back in my dorm, so,” you shrug, laughing it off as you point to the seats, “But it’s fine, I…erm, wasn’t really feeling it anyway,” a lie, since that was all you could talk about, but you push past him as you sit down, setting your tote on your lap as you look at him, waiting for him to do the same.
Satoru peeks at you, his lips pressed into a thin line as he swallows, not doing anything to sit down as one of your brows moves upwards, confused about the mental turmoil that he was going through, which made him reluctant to sit.
“Everything okay?” You ask slowly, shifting your legs, wondering if he was tight for room, but he just nods, tongue poking through his rosy lips as he glances back towards the double doors as he briefly nods.
“I need to use the bathroom,” he mutters, and you nod, lips pursing in understanding as you look over your shoulders, watching as more people start taking their seats.
“Okay,” you sit back a little bit, your finger pointing behind you to where the bathrooms were, “Well, you, you should probably go, like, now. I think the shows going to start,” you say with a light chuckle and check your phone, realizing that there were only five minutes left till the lights turned off, “In a little bit.”
Satoru just nods again, saying spoke few words before he turns to leave, murmuring apologies to the people sitting down as his long legs knock their knees, and you watch him leave the aisle and go before you turn your attention back to the stage, taking the time to admire the props and the set design, trying to think back to the original story and see if it lines up with how you remembering it starting.
When the overhead lights start flickering, and Satoru isn’t back yet, you churn in your seat, looking over your shoulder every couple of seconds, hoping that he doesn’t have to navigate back in the dark.
You send him a small text saying that it was almost going to be lights out when you see his figure in the corner of your eye, watch as he nears your row with his arms full, and you squint, trying to see through the dimness to see what it was that he was holding.
The closer he gets, the more you’re able to see, and it’s only until he’s lowering himself to sit down that you make out the popcorn bag in one hand, and some boxes of sweets in the other.
He says nothing as he shoves the popcorn into your hand, settling in as he looks around the seat, trying to move the armrests up only to see that they’re stuck in place, completely oblivious to your wide-eyed stare as he lets out a big sigh, resting back as his legs spread out a little bit. He opens a box of Maltesers, adjusting his glasses as he looks at the stage.
“Want some?” He finally says, his voice low as he pushes the red box towards you, and your cheeks are almost on fire as you glance at the paper bag of popcorn in his outstretched hand.
“I…” you blink, holding onto the popcorn so that it doesn’t spill, “Here.” You dumbly give him the bag back, assuming that he had only given it to you so that he could sit down more comfortably.
Only now does he tear his eyes away from the stage, tuning out the voice over the announcements, the regular message of turning off your phones and staying quiet, as his elbow pushes your arm back to your seat.
“Can’t have corn,” he says bluntly, looking over at your startled expression, “It’s yours.”
It’s yours.
Here’s another moment you're going to mull over before another minuscule thing he does happens again, and you spend the next months thinking about that.
“Are you sure?” You whisper, already pulling your phone out to Venmo him for it, but Satoru can already tell what you're about to do as he flicks it away, as if it was repulsive to him, and you don’t have any time to argue because the curtains pull outwards and reveal the actors.
You drag a hand over your face, trying not to look over at him anymore as you begrudgingly accept the kind token, trying to relax in your seat as the show begins, a tentative finger plucking out a popcorn as you bring it to your mouth, hoping that the only person who can what the blood roaring in your ears is you.
—
Nearly a quarter in, and you start to realize just how bad an idea this was.
The play itself was great. The actors were delivering their performance in a manner that felt reminiscent ot the campy nature of the original text, and some people in the audience were keeling over with laughter in certain parts.
You found yourself with a wide smile throughout most of it, recalling some of the bits and others jogging your memory, but you were thoroughly enjoying it nonetheless. The issue was, the person next to you seemed to be despising it.
The rare couple of times you peeked over to see his reaction to a couple of things, you noticed his jaw clenched, sitting straight and uptight as his eyes never left the stage. He barely mustered up a smile during the funny portions, looking utterly depleted during the serious bits, and his hands were clasped together, fingers interwoven as he sighed, unamused.
Every time somebody would do something weird, you’d glance his way and would still see the same stone-cold expression on his face. You were aware that the play itself was over exaggerated and strange at times, but that was the whole appeal of it in the first place. But at times, you tried to view it through the lens of someone who didn’t go in-depth into literature and read the nuances of somebody like Satoru, who would rather spend their free time studying and working on their mountain of assignments, not something like this, and you felt your chest getting heavier and heavier with each second.
When it neared intermission, you could’ve sworn you had nearly melted in your seat, your popcorn done as you glanced over at Satoru when the lights finally turned back on, people around you standing up to leave or stretch.
A beat of silence passes before you clear your throat, mustering up a wobbly grin as you jab a thumb to the curtains.
“Funny, huh?”
Satoru blinks, as if coming back to, and you debate if he had been half asleep. The thought makes you sink even deeper in embarrassment.
“It’s, uh,” he ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back as he swallowed thickly, “It’s…interesting. I haven’t really seen anything like it before.”
You pause, chew on the side of your lip, rubbing at your eyes as you try to think of anything else to say. You’ve spent time with him alone, sure, but never in a situation where it felt like you had to defend yourself, your background, the whole reason why you were here in the first place, like you are now.
People bustle around the two of you, and he sits up a little straighter, pushing his shoulders back as his neck cracks a bit.
“It’s raunchy and… theatrical,” you try to explain, attempting to seem unconcerned as you fold the paper bag up and set it neatly on the ground, making a mental note to pick it up before you leave. “But I think it’s really interesting given the period it was written and how vulgar, everything is, and the characters are all super unlikable, which you don’t really see in these kinds of productions, and, well, it’s supposed to be funny and…fun, I guess,” your voice dies down, your lips almost chewed raw as you wait for a reaction, a facade of interest, a pitiful acknowledgement to what felt like your livelihood, but he just nods.
You suck in a deep breath, gaze darting around the theater as you try to look at anything else.
Noticing your sudden silence, his eyes leave the stage for a moment as they rake over your expression, see the way your lips pull into a small, worried line, the crease between your brows, something that appeared whenever you were stressed or confused. His face seemed to melt to mirror yours.
“Is there a reason why they keep calling the daughter a slut?” He finally asks, and your eyes dart back to him, and your cheeks puff, blinking slowly as you nod, embarrassed for some reason as you stammer to find words.
“It’s, erm, well, it’s in the original material, but,” your words mesh together as you try to call back on the research paper you did for this piece, your mind blanking as your cheeks heat, “But I think they keep it in because it’s supposed to be a demonstration of the degradation of women and the differentiation between men who also exhibit premarital interest in the sex…and it’s not supposed to be funny but they repeat it a lot, so you kind of become numb to the meaning of the word...” Your rambling quiets near the end as you shoot him another tense smile, wringing your hands together as your lips tremble, looking away as a last resort to save your dignity.
After spending two years with him, you’ve become familiar with his routine and what he expects from his day-to-day life. What some describe as the prodigal son, Gojo Satoru, if not with friends, is usually found in the back of the library, in his dorm, or somewhere quiet with papers strewn in front of him, with his laptop out, typing away. He sometimes goes to benefits and galas, some to attend because of his parents, others because of his biochemistry path, but his time isn’t usually spent at the theater watching vulgar plays.
That’s what you did.
And of course, you didn’t come here weekly. You had to be here for that godforsaken Literature in English class. But this was a part of you, this play, this environment, these exaggerated dialogues are what you spent your time obsessing over. The history and the meaning, and the importance of English literature and writings are your life, and having someone next to you, watching a personification of it live, felt like inviting them into a piece of your mind, even if they wouldn’t view it as such.
But to you, you who liked to overcomplicate and read into things, saw it as such, and your heart was thumping erratically when you realized that Satoru probably saw this, you, as equally insane for enjoying something like this.
And you hated how much the thought made you spiral, made you think of yourself less than when there was a possibility that this wasn’t what Satoru was thinking at all, but the slight chance, the small probability, is what stirred the trepidation in you.
“Are you enjoying it?”
His question brings you out of your mental fever, and you bite your cheek, wondering what the right answer would be. He’s watching you, waiting, and you exhale shakily, smiling poorly as you swallow back some bile.
“I, I am,” you say finally, “It’s just…I did this huge essay on this last year, and I’ve been looking for a rendition of it, but there’s only this old movie that’s so far been made, so…seeing this live is pretty cool.”
He nods, looking at your stalled expression as you keep your eyes trained on the curtains, not wanting to show your internal thoughts on your ever-so expressive face, and he tries to keep his slight confusion at bay for your suddenly reserved self.
As you try to feign indifference by going on your phone, you can watch him from the corner of your eyes, look around, and uncharacteristically fidget in his seat as he debates doing the same as you or talking some more, which, at the moment, you don’t appear content to do. But the more you try to ignore him, the more it seems like your body has a physical reaction to it, protesting your desire to keep to yourself.
“Did you do anything fun today?” You ask, putting your phone down as you scratch at the inside of your wrist. He blinks, looking a little quizzically at you before he clears his throat.
“Well, Suguru had set me up for a double date,” he explains, and you feel your chest tighten a little bit, “But…eh,” he shrugs, “I wasn’t really feeling it,” he drags a hand over his face, “If only he knew where I’d end up instead, huh?” He nudges your elbow with his, a teasing grin on his face, but blood roars in your ears upon hearing his words.
Gods, the man who despised dates and unaccounted occasions and strange meetings would rather take that over this.
You let out a little puff of air, trying to give him a smile as you feel sweat dot on the back of your neck, your palms clammy as you wring your hands together, looking down at your shoes as you try to bite back the lump in your throat.
He’d rather be anywhere else than here, your mind blares, the unspoken words ringing in the small expanse of your heart.
There’s a strange gurgle in your stomach, one that shifts sharply, and you wince. This is definitely not a part of your internal trade, and you hope that when you shift to place a hand on it to try and calm it down. You turn your phone off, pocketing it in your tote, and the sudden movement makes you jerk in pain. You sit back up, hoping that he won't notice.
But, of course, he does.
He angles his body towards you, brows cinched as your eyes twitch barely.
“Are you okay?” His voice his deep, tinged with worry, his head leaning towards you just a bit so that you can feel his minty breath fan across your warm cheek.
You wave him off, shooting him a horrifically terrible smile as you shift, your head tilting to the side as your stomach makes another alien noise.
“Yeah,” you mutter, almost like a question because even you don’t know if you’re alright, “Yeah, I just think it’s the popcorn on an empty stomach.” But even that explanation made no sense. It seems like your stomach is churning even more with each passing second, and you really wish that he couldn’t tell that every moment is a testament to your battle for control of your own body.
“Do you want some water?” He asks, looking over his shoulder to the doors, remembering that the concession stand was also selling bottled drinks, “I’ll get some-”
But your hand shoots out, gripping the fabric of his sleeve as you tug on it, shaking your head as you attempt to situate yourself back in your seat, your act going well besides the slight crack in your face at a particularly painful jab.
“No, no, it’s fine, I’m fine,” the lights flicker again above you, and you’re somewhat grateful for them, grateful hat you can’t see the obvious fear on his face at the prospect of you being sick near his very hygienic self, “The shows starting, anyway, so just,” your voice dips a little as you try to contain a groan, “Just stay.”
He goes to protest, but your hold on him is strangely tight for someone so riddled with pain, and his mouth parts to say something, but the glare you shoot him nearly shuts him up.
“Please,” you mutter, the embarrassment from several things thick in your voice as you wince, your eyes melting into something pleading as the applause begins, and his face falls for a second, but you look away, weakly clapping along with everybody else.
You feel tears prickly in your eyes.
And you hope he can’t see the shining gloss when you try to blink them back.
—
When the show ends, you’re nearly debilitated with the pain in your abdomen, and the mortification from having watched Macheath’s other wife battle it out with Polly alongside Satoru. They mix into a terrible combination, one that forces you to come back into consciousness in the middle of the theater, the bright overhead lights nearly sending you into a psychosis.
There must have been something horrifically wrong with either the popcorn or the butter they put on it, because, despite your blurry view, you can see a few people in the audience huddled up in their seats the same way as you, despite the play ending.
Satoru cleans up next to you, taking his boxes of candy and your strewn popcorn bag, and sits back up to look at you nervously.
“Are…are you sure you’re okay?” His gentle tone is one that you barely register as your hands grip onto the armrest. You can barely even muster up a hum, giving him a shaky thumbs up as your stomach gurgles again, this time, audibly.
You try to stand, but your knees wobble, and you grip onto the back of the seat as your head sways. You can feel his grip on your elbow, nearly knocking over some people's bottles beside him from how fast he stands up, and your clammy face looks upward at him, swearing that he looks like an angel with the light framing his hair.
“I,” you clamp your mouth shut, swallowing thickly as you wince, taking a few seconds before you start again, “I have to use the loo.” The declaration comes out as a whisper, an ashamed one, and you can’t look him in the face, even if his nods insistently, an arm of his wrapping around the expanse of your back as he tries to steady you
“There’s one near the concessions,” he tells you, his voice strangely considerate and temperate, head leaning down to get closer to your ear so that you could hear him better, “Do you think you can make it?”
You feel like a child, but you only nod, neck and face flaring up in embarrassment as you allow him to guide you through the aisle of people, not looking anybody in the eyes as you make it out, your legs shaking slightly. If it weren’t for him, you’re sure you would’ve toppled down in pain by now.
The walk out of the theater becomes a blur, letting him guide you towards the bathrooms with one of your hands wrapped tightly around your stomach, as if it would ease the pain, and you feel the two of you come to a stop as you stand next to the ladies' door.
His arm around you falls, and you miss its warmth. He looks crossed with different emotions as you use the wall to hold yourself up, wobbling towards the bathroom as you shoot a look over your shoulder.
“Thanks,” you whisper, your eyes widening and then shutting instantly at how much it hurts your head, “I’ll…I’ll be back.” The words slur in your mouth, and you don’t give him any time to react before you leave through the wooden door and book it to a stall.
The moments that follow afterwards are what you’d expect from a case of bad butter.
You kneel on the floor, heaving everything up, trying to be as quiet as possible so the girls in the stalls around you can’t hear, but it’s not a process that you’re particularly fond of and can feel your will to continue weakening as you leave back on the wall, your head in yours hands as you hear the toilet automatically flush.
At least getting it out of your system seems to have made the painful throbs dull down to an annoying little jab, but you feel like the bulk of the damage has already been done. Satoru was sweet enough that he’d try to never bring this up again, but you knew you’d have to live with the humiliation of this evening for a couple of months before you did something else that would top it.
You let your head tilt back and heave a gulp of air, palms jamming into your eyes as you attempt to swallow, your mouth too dry to produce any saliva. If Shoko were here, she’d at least try to make you laugh about the ridiculousness of it all. But it’s just you and Satoru, and you don’t know if you can even look at him for the next week after tonight.
Giving yourself a little more time to calm down, you heave yourself up from your position on the floor, careful not to touch the ground, and pluck your bag off the hook, miraculously throwing it on before you hunched, so as it wouldn’t touch anything too icky.
You wash and scrub your hands, feeling dirty and still a little sick as you splash some water on your face, hoping the cool water will help snap you back. The girls around you talk, some drying their hands, others touching up their makeup in the mirror. One of the girls next to you watches you through your reflection, her face pale and strands of hair wet as she splashes some water onto her face.
“Popcorn?” She asks, and your eyes find hers through the mirror, blinking slowly as your hands grip the counter.
“Yeah,” you take a deep inhale of air, sharing a small smile with her as you turn off the faucet, “Do you want some hand sanitizer?” You offer, going to reach into your tote, but she waves it off, giving you a kind smile as she continues to wash her hands, probably feeling just as bad as you were.
Giving her a small nod as you go to the paper towel dispenser, you reach around for your phone, opening it up as you quickly send a text to Shoko to update her on where you were, nothing too long, just to be safe, and tap the tip of your shoe on the ground, debating what to do next.
You could go see Satoru, probably waiting outside, and awkwardly explain that you should probably walk back, seeing how his germaphobic personality might not mesh with the fact that you had basically deposited your entire day in the theater washroom. You could also try to sneak away and hope that he was standing somewhere that granted you the option of stealth, but you quickly shook that off, quickly understanding how pathetic and childish it was.
After another moment of thought, you ball up the towel and throw it away, pushing the door open with your shoulder as you enter back into the lobby, the business having died down just a bit, and look around bravely for the man.
Spotting the pop of white near the end of the room, you take a few steps forward before you halt, stopping near a wall that offered you a little bit of insight as to what he was doing as you peeked around the corner.
2 - 0, you think sunkenly, watching the way Satoru talks to another girl, his broad shoulders shielding her from where you originally were, and that familiar ache enters your chest as you play with the hem of your sweater.
You could be sadistic when it came to your unrequited feelings; that much you had made peace with. But the universe was horrifically masochistic for the situations it thrust you into.
His face is a little more stiff than before, but still polite and kind as he cranes his neck to look at the girl. Her hair is pulled into a sleek bun, one that you always envied with how clean and precise some girls were able to make theirs, and watched how her hand lingered on his arm, something you could never get away with without his face falling into contained disgust.
It’s unfair to think this way of this stranger, you remind yourself, after all, if you had the guts, you’d try to make a move on him too.
So, in another moment of decision-making, you get your phone out again, trying to contain the little tremble in your lips as you start drafting a message to him. It’s for the best, you try to reason, telling him that you were too sick and didn’t want to give him what you had. You send another message, saying that you were going to make your way back to your dorm and that you hope he had fun, thanking him as much as you could without sounding pathetic for how much he did this evening and for coming.
You also sent him the venmo transfer for the popcorn you were going to make earlier for good measure.
Where you were presented you an easy way to slip out of the building, one of the exits a little bit behind you, as you rubbed at your tired eyes, wrapping your arms around your torso as you prepared for the cold gusts of wind that were going to hit you the moment you stepped out.
People around you were talking in muted voices, laughter ringing around your ears as you ducked your head down, hoping that this time by yourself could give you some moments of peace, even though you knew that being alone with your onslaught of thoughts was going to do the exact opposite.
This campus was always bustling on a Saturday night, so you never felt too alone as you made your way away from the theater, pulling out your headphones as you geared up your phone to listen to some music before you heard a muffled shout from behind you.
Brows furrowing and your eyes slightly shifted in confusion, you, along with some other students around you, looked to see what the sound was.
To your utter horror and stupefaction, you watch as Satoru whips his head around, as if he were looking for something, or rather someone.
You stand like a deer in headlights, hands raised mid-way to your ears to put your headphones in them as you see him check his phone and then look up again, not caring that other people were looking at him strangely as he runs a worried hand down his face, typing something furiously fast as he looks around again.
Finally, it seems like he found what he was looking for when your eyes lock, and he sends you an ice-cold, deathly glare, one that made you glance around as if it were someone behind you more deserving of such a look, but before you can do anything, he’s jogging over to where you were frozen in place.
The closer he gets, the more you can see the agitation and vexation in his microexpressions, things you’ve taken pride in before in reading, now not so much because you were on the receiving end of them.
When he comes to a halt, phone still in hand, his chest rises and falls a little fast, as if he were out of breath, and he runs another frustrated hand through his white locks as he pushes them back.
Your mouth gapes, and you suddenly remember that you were supposed to be “deathly ill” according to the text you had sent him, and try to make your breathing seem more labored, your posture more haggard, but that doesn't work as he eyes you like he knows.
“Where the hell are you going?” He snaps, and you wince slightly at his tone, and he reels, shooting you an apologetic look despite the fire burning inside of him from the way you’ve been acting this night.
“Back…back to my place,” you whisper, voice hoarse, and he hears it instantly, expression melting as he takes the time to really dissect the way your eyes are slightly bloodshot, your lips chapped, your lashes clumped with tears, and he takes a small step back, taking in a deep breath.
“No, I, shit,” he stammers, restarting, “Are you…” His voice comes out as thick and low, and you almost feel it in your bones as he pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to calm his nerves as he gives you a tilted look, “Are you okay?”
This time, he’s not asking because you were exhibiting signs of ailment, but because you had been acting like you were strangers since the moment you saw him tonight. Because your behavior was so off and unlike you, he was struggling to understand if there was something beneath the surface, something that had happened that he wasn’t aware of, that was fueling this shift.
Your eyes seem to waver as you try not to look at him, attempting a nonchalant shrug that is anything but, as you think of how to lower your voice to a deeper register to appear more sick than you really are.
“I feel sick,” you mutter, coughing feigningly as you pull on the straps of your tote upwards, as you clear your throat, trying not to feel the weight of the looks other people were giving the two of you.
A single brow of his raises, one that you know is detecting bullshit as you rub at your nose.
“I’m sure,” he finally murmurs, rolling his eyes at the obvious statement, “I think the entire lobby heard you throwing up your small intestine.” That statement alone almost makes you keel over in shame, humiliation, embarrassment, and disgrace, but he continues, “But…are you…okay? You’ve been…off…the entire night.”
And you know you can’t sidestep this landmine because you know how weird you’ve been acting this evening, knowing that your attempts to make things better have only backfired, and the past couple of hours come screaming back at you, and for some stupid, depressing reason, cause a sting of tears to prick behind your eyes.
Your bottom lip catches between your teeth as your head falls slightly, your stomach still aching, your pride and confidence bruised, and you can still smell the lingering perfume of the girl he had been talking to, another reminder that you probably didn’t smell like that perfume you had spritzed on so long ago.
“I’m okay,” you murmur, looking at the cracks on the ground, your voice shaking and wobbling and so clearly not true that you tilt your head back up to see his reaction, your face crumpling into a little wet laugh when he seems completely unmoved. Upon hearing your little giggle, his anger fades a bit, but is quickly replaced with another emotion when he hears you sniffle.
“Look, you-” he looks down at his phone to reread the text you had sent him, and his confusion seems to grow even more when he reads another notification, “Did you Venmo me?”
You nod again, weakly, and when you look up at him, you see him fighting back a startled laugh, the quiver on his face making your lips pull up into a wobbly smile, your own emotions turning into something strange as you watch him shake his head in dismay, running a stressed hand through his hair.
“Did something happen today?” He asks, not taunting, never taunting, but something you can’t place as you weakly not, a sheen over your eyes as you tug at your sleeves.
“…no,” you whisper, but the two of you know it’s far from the truth because even you can’t hide the way your lips tremble and your hands shake slightly.
He presses his lips together tightly, his jaw ticking as he takes in your sunken form, something he’s never seen before, and chews on his cheek, thinking.
Sighing deeply, he pockets his phone, not able to look at your texts anymore because they made him too nauseous, and moves to be closer to you.
“Come on,” he says after a moment's silence, “Let’s go.”
You peek over at him, your brows furrowing slightly as you huff out a breath of air, trying to contain your tears as you sniffle again. Your bottom lip trembles slightly, and your stomach still has a lingering ache, but there’s something else that’s causing you to be like this, and you don’t like whatever it is.
He’s waiting, his elbow budging yours, and so you heave a sigh, rubbing at your cheeks as you nudge him back slowly.
“Thank you, ‘Toru,” you murmur, and he pauses, his tongue caught between his teeth because you rarely call him by that nickname, rarely use it unless you really mean it, “For everything. And I’m sorry,” you peek over at him from above your lashes, looking back at the ground at your shoe so you couldn’t see his reaction, “I didn’t mean to spoil your evening like this-” But before you can say anything more he raises a hurried hand, cutting you off.
“You didn’t spoil my evening, love,” he says quickly, his tone soft and teetering on worried, the little title slipping out of his mouth like it was natural, and if you weren’t feeling like a pile of shit, you might have fixated on it more, his eyes roaming your anxious face.
But you insistently nod, your lips pressed together as if you were trying your hardest not to let out a pitiful cry in front of him.
“I-I did,” you voice cracks, and you rub at your eyes as some treacherous tears escape, and if only you could truly see the way he looks like he was breaking seeing you like this, “With you getting the popcorn and then me getting sick and then the s-stupid show,” and he winces because he knows you were enjoying the play, could hear your twinkling laugh and he hates it whenever you feel the need to shut down the things you like because you’re worried other people will judge you for doing so, “And…and I wish you had told Shoko o-or me about your date, I would have totally understood,” you try for a smile, your words choked and wobbly and if only you knew what you were doing as you ramble, “I’m just…I’m really sorry for everything." You finish with a quivering chuckle, your heart shaking like a leaf as you finally meet his eyes, hoping he can’t see the little shake in your breathing when you finally do.
He breathes in deeply, and you can hear the gears in his head turning. But you nudge his side again, wanting to leave it at that. You can feel his eyes burning into the side of your face, but you don’t want to look.
And you’re grateful that to some extent, he understands that, even if not fully. He murmurs a gentle come on, his hand gingerly wrapping around your arm as he tugs to next to him, his warmth enveloping you as he leads the way.
—
As much as you insist, the one thing he doesn’t seem to budge on is taking you back to your dorm.
You pleaded with him, begged him not to get him sick, but he wouldn’t listen. It’s almost as if he steered you towards his building, a hand hovering over your back as he led you inside and up the elevator and to his room before you could even have the ability to ditch and run away.
“If you’re going to talk, fine, but don’t think I’m insane enough to leave you alone right now.”
That alone could have sent you into a psychosis if you weren’t so worried about puking all over his bed.
With the way his germophobic and clean tendencies forbade him from going to public restrooms, you’re stunned that he’s even standing near you with everything that has happened this night. He even lent you his old band shirt and trousers from when he was going through a phase.
It was a blur as you spun around his room, rifling through his drawers for towels and soap and things he thought you might want to use in the shower. You stood awkwardly at the foot of his bed, not sitting down on the mattress because you knew how he felt about outside clothes on his sheets, and you said nothing as he handed everything to you, shooting you a shaky smile, one that was tense because you figured he was most likely worried about you staining or ruining one of his clean things. You don’t say anything as he suddenly ducks, his knees hitting the floor as he starts undoing the laces to your shoes, mumbling something about how you bending over might not be the best for your stomach.
He was lucky enough to be in one of the newer buildings, meaning that he had a personal washroom, so he just led you to it and let you know to use the shower and to call out to him if you needed anything. He even had an extra pack of toothbrushes and boxers that he hadn’t touched that he set aside for you.
You watched as he shut the door, the water roaring behind you as it began to heat up, and you silently stripped, neatly folding your clothes as you set them to the side. You took a tentative step inside his very clean shower, letting the steaming water hit you as you stood there for a couple of minutes, reflecting.
Washing your face, scrubbing roughly at the makeup and the evening away, you feel some salty tears bite at your cheek, and you don’t even know why you’re crying right now. Well, in all honesty, you do, and that’s probably what hurts the most.
You’ve never cried over Gojo Satoru before. You’ve never felt like it was so depressingly lost where you’d need to use these muscles and these feelings that you reserve for truly important things, but it felt like tonight was a confirmation and closure all in one. It felt like you slowly came to your senses, realized that despite your wishes, it was fruitless. You just weren’t the kind of girl that he could cherish, at least, not in the way you wanted him to, and you knew it would be selfish of you to ruin any chance another girl could have of him being hers.
It took you a little longer than expected, but you feel like you were slowly gaining consciousness, the reality at hand as you turned the water off, patting yourself dry with the soft towel he had provided you.
You move carefully, brushing your teeth, pulling on the clothes he left you, as you assess yourself in the fogged-up mirror. Your eyes are a little puffy, but you can just tell him from earlier. Your voice is croaky, but you’ll just bite your words back tonight until you can go back to your place in the morning and start distancing yourself from him until your feelings are choked out. It’s time you began moving on, anyway.
Braving the other side, you take a deep breath before you carefully open the door, peeking around the corner until you see him sitting on the corner of his bed, furiously typing away until he hears the creak, looking up from across the room as you sheepishly smile.
He quickly puts his phone away, standing to his feet as he rubs his hands, not knowing what to do as he buffers.
“Was, erm, was everything good?” He motions to the bathroom, and you quickly nod, walking away as the steam from behind wraps around you, your body adjusting to the shift in temperature as your eyes stray to the couch in the corner, pillows and blankets set up in a makeshift bed.
“It was great, thank you,” you say gently, “I’m sorry, again-” But he holds a hand up, cutting you off as he insistently shakes his head.
“Really, it was nothing,” he stresses, his cheeks dusted pink, his glasses discarded on his desk.
You nod again, embarrassed, and smile stiffly, pointing to the couch as you make your way over.
“Thanks for this, too,” you say, but he seems to awkwardly shuffle, his hands behind his back, looking like he wants to say something, and your brow slightly quirks at his odd reaction.
“That’s…that’s for me,” he explains, moving away from his lofted bed as he shows you the changed sheets and the new pillow case covers, what he must have been doing in the time it took for you to shower, “You can sleep here.” He pats the mattress, and you let out a disbelieving chuckle, shaking your head as you move closer to the couch, feeling like the worst person in the world.
“I couldn’t,” you stress, but he’s already moving closer to you, looking like he wants to move you away from the cushions, “I’ve already imposed enough. I’ll sleep here. It’s fine, really, I like couches.”
He opens his mouth and closes it, lips pressed into a thin line.
“You haven’t imposed,” he finally says, as if that’s all he took away from your rambles, and you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you wave aside his polite nature and hold your hands up.
“If I sleep on your bed after everything, I’m never going to be able to look you in the eyes again, okay?” You put it bluntly, “So I’ll take the couch, and you’ll take your bed, and it’ll be fine. Okay?”
His tongue darts out, blinking rapidly as if he’s assessing his different options, and he looks at you, to the couch, and then to the bed. He seems like he’s torn, but he figures that the next best thing is to ignore this completely, shaking his head to himself as he moves around you to the cupboards behind your body, shuffling around until he finds what he needs.
“I’m going to wash up,” he mutters, glancing briefly at you as he pulls in his towel to his chest, his new pair of clothes, and you feel your chest tighten at the sudden dismissiveness in his tone, ad if he’s given up with you, and he makes his way to the separate room, “Make yourself comfortable.” He calls over his shoulder before he shuts the door behind him, and you give it a few seconds before you wince, falling back down onto the couch as you pull a pillow to your chest and allow yourself some time to relax before he comes back.
You allow yourself some time to look around, appreciating his tidy room and the mess-free atmosphere. You can smell the lingering scent of bergamot, and you see the warmer on his desk, a candle right under it. The wall that his desk is parallel to is littered with postcards and retro movie posters (mostly Star Wars and Star Trek). There are some polaroids he has pinned up, some with Suguru and Shoko from their years in secondary school, some photos he had taken himself with his camera. His bookshelf, which is nearly leaning over with how heavy it is, is at the end of the couch, and you shift to get a better look at the books he has on his shelf.
You’re so rarely in here, especially by yourself, so you peek around, hearing the water still running, and lift from the cushions, your eyes squinting as you move closer, trying to make out the names on the spines, your curiosity getting the better of you.
Most of the shelves are full of textbooks from previous courses he had taken; therefore, most of them are science-related. Your eyes shift across the spines, seeing some books about botany and a couple about astronomy and astrophysics, a specific interest of his despite specializing in biochemistry. Notes are jammed into the empty spaces, and you make out his cursive on some of them, smiling despite yourself when you pull some of them out, making out his quick scribble from when he was either in class or studying.
The bookshelf itself is insanely tall for no reason, tall enough that you’re sure Suguru or even Satoru, in his sprawling height, would struggle reaching to top, so you have to go onto your toes, stretching your calves as you tilt your head upwards to look at some of the higher shelves, pulling some books out by placing a finger on the top of the spine, careful not to disrupt anything as you let yourself get lost in the names.
Suddenly, in the midst of all the chemistry and biology and Latin names, something familiar catches your eye, a book that was resting on its side on the highest shelf, and you struggle but can wedge yourself up on the edge of the couch to reach it.
The Count of Monte Cristo.
Your eyes widen in spite of your heavy emotions riddling your mind, and you turn it around, reading which edition and publisher it was as you scour through the pages, seeing his little citations in blue ink in the margins. You flip through the pages, each one highlighted and marked for different reasons, similar to the way you read through a book, and you close it shut, feeling like you were somehow intruding on something private as you set it back down in its initial place on the shelf until something else caught your attention.
Familiar titles and authors all paint the top level of his bookshelf, books that have nothing to do with his major or classes or even remotely with something you think he might enjoy reading, and you almost fall as you try to get closer.
A small box at the edge of the shelf piques your interest, and your lips catch between your teeth as you put all of your focus on this task, your nimble fingers moving closer, plucking it from its spot as you hold it gingerly in the palm of your hand, looking back to the bathroom as you hear the pipes groan as he turns the water off, an alarming sound, one that meant that you didn't have a lot of time left.
The box itself is also familiar, this one for more reasons than most, because you remember this box; you gave it to him for his previous birthday. amongst other little trinkets, finding it at a flea market, and thinking he could make some use of it. The wooden grain and the carvings on it were delicate, and your hold is even more careful as you unlock the little latch, the top lifting open as you peer inside.
Your eyes adjust to the sight, something you weren’t necessarily expecting, as what you can only describe as junk littered the inside of it. A ticket stub from a movie he had seen, a dried leaf, candy wrappers, spare coins. You huff a little in disappointment, your nosey nature quelled by the contents within as you rifle around a little more, knowing you should stop and sit down and act like you saw nothing when you feel a glossy texture beneath your fingertips.
Gently, you pinch it between your pointer finger and thumb, pulling it out from beneath all rubble as you hold it closer to your face, your breath catching in your throat.
It’s a polaroid of the two of you.
You remember the night well, a couple of months ago, during the summer. The four of you and a couple of mutual friends had rented a car and had gone up to a cabin, one of the many properties Satoru’s family owned, and had spent the weekend there. Suguru had insisted on setting up a fire and eating around it, and you had huddled up next to Shoko as the night got colder. You remember the voices and the laughs and the squeals as some of the friends, people you didn’t know that well, began chasing each other, and you and Shoko watched, amused. You remember how one of the boys had been carrying a jug of water, one meant for inside, when somebody bumped into him, and he tripped, and the water came falling on you. You remember letting out a small laugh, shocked and forgiving as you assured the stranger that it was okay, shivering, nonetheless, as Shoko laughed uncontrollably.
But above all, you remember how Satoru hurried over from wherever he was, his stare worried that you were hurt, everything shifting when he saw the playful glint in your eyes, the fireplace illuminating your features in red, yellow and orange hues as you shrugged his worries off, his hands on your elbows, steadying you as Suguru took a photo of the moment, of your head thrown back in a laugh and his eyebrows pulled into an anxious line while his lips pulled into a gentle smile, the stars twinkling in the background as he steadied you to your feet.
You distantly recall hearing the click and asking Suguru about the photo, but hearing him say something along the lines of the lighting being too dark, but clearly that was a lie because you were holding the small photo in your hand, staring at it with no problem.
Before you can spend more time thinking about his junk box and what the hell this photo was doing in it, you heard some shuffling on the other side of the bathroom, the door clicking open as you scramble to put the box back, nearly tripping as you jump down, going back to where you were seated on the couch in a flash, appearing to look nonchalant as he stepped out.
You don’t let your eyes linger too long on the way his shirt stretched tightly across his chest, or the way that the water has caused the fabric to slightly stick to his arms. He shakes his hair into a towel, ringlets of water falling as he pushes his hair back. You also try not to fawn too much over his mismatched pajamas, or how his trousers have prints of lightsabers in different colors all over them.
“Hey,” he calls out gruffly, rubbing at the back of his neck as he tosses his towel into the hamper, his feet padding over to his desk as he checks the clock and then his phone for any notifications. He sighs, and your throat is dry, heart hammering in your chest as you realize a grave mistake.
In your haste to put everything back, the careful clutch you had on the photo had appeared nonexistent, and you had, for some reason, made the blunder of still holding the photograph of the two of you resting in the palm of your hand.
His back is still to you, and you swallow thickly, shuffling across the couch as you try to deposit it onto one of the nearer shelfs, hoping that if he were to see it he would think it had mistakenly fallen out or something less drastic, but his ears turn towards your movement, looking over his broad shoulders at the way you scramble to dispose of the film.
“What are…?” His eyes pierce yours, and you sheepishly snap around to look at him, your hand going behind you as you shake your head, acting confused as his head tilts to the side, jumping from your seat at the edge of the cushion to your leg, angled towards his bookshelf.
“I was just looking at your books,” you quickly state, trying to cover your ass as lips purse together to give you a knowing look, a white brow rising so high that it disappears in his hairline, one calling you out on your obvious bullshit.
“Hm,” he hums, taking a step closer to you, his skin still glowing from the shower as he makes his way to where you were sitting, towering over you as his arms cross deliciously across his chest, “Then what do you have behind you?”
You feign innocence, blinking as you shake your head, acting dumb as you shrug.
“I,” you scoff, leaning back into one of the pillows as you shrug, “I don’t have anything behind me.”
“Right,” he drawls out, his voice slightly deeper, intimidatingly so as he crouches down a little until his face is to face with you, his fingers moving to poke at your arms, twisting at an odd angle to hide behind your back, “Then you wouldn’t mind if I gave you some medicine, yeah? Something that requires both hands?”
Damn him.
You shake your head, swallowing as you shoot him a shaking smile.
“Not at all,” you stress, shifting uncomfortable as he nods, his eyes raking over your face one last time as he moves to his desk, pulling a drawer out, his medicine drawer, you deduce, and watch as he pulls out a bottle that seems to promise helping with stomach aches, and he turns it over, reading the label until he seems satisfied.
He strolls back to where you’re seated, holding the medicine bottle out towards you as he patiently waits.
You shoot him a fake smile, biting back annoyance as you shift awkwardly, wringing out a hand from underneath your body, the one that’s not holding onto the photograph, as you take the bottle from his outstretched hands. You stare at it, realizing that he’s waiting for you to open it, and if it wasn’t for the unimpressed look on his face, you’d almost wager that he was amused.
“Something wrong?” He asks, fully knowing the answer, and you shoot him a glare.
“No,” you bite back, your other hand moving slowly, careful not to crumble or tear the film as you place it under your thigh, showing him both of your hands as you twist the cap of the medicine bottle off, “See?”
He nods, still unbelieving of your little tactic, as he takes the bottle away from you. You watch as he moves to set it down on the table, assessing the situation as he moves down in one swift motion, not giving you any time to understand what was going on as he loops one hands under your knees, another across your back as he lifts you up and over his shoulders like you genuinely weighed nothing more than a sack of flour and you screamed in horror at the rudeness of everything.
“Freak!” You shout, your face looking at his muscular back as he chuckles, not seeing anything yet as you try to kick his face, “This is so degrading, put me down!” You scream, horrified and mortified as he pinches your calf that was near his chest.
“Stop squirming,” he chides, but his voice is anything but chiding as he swivels around, your body jerking sideways as your head drops, motion sickness from already feeling a little off from earlier tonight, and you weakly punch his back, groaning.
“I’m going to puke all over you,” you threaten, but he just chuckles, shaking his head as he pretends to drop you, only to catch you last minute, his chest shaking with the sound, and you go to snap at him again,
But you feel it, hear it the moment he sees the polaroid you had taken.
He goes tense, his grip on you tightening a little bit out of shock, and he’s suddenly silent. You wince, turning around, hoping he could take the hint and set you down, and he finally does, carefully setting you on the ground as he bends, picking up the photograph from where it had fallen onto the floor, and staring blankly at it.
Your hands clench, chest tightening as his eyes flicker from it to you, his face unreadable as his jaw clenches slightly.
Nobody speaks for a moment, the room suddenly as tense as it was when you first entered, and you watch as he puts the photograph face down on a random shelf, turning back to you as he sighs deeply.
“Were you…Were you going through my things?”
The question shakes you, and your mouth parts as you clamp it shut.
“N-no,” you finally say, “Well, no, not really, but I guess…I don’t…I was,” your head drops to your hands in mortification as you motion weakly to the bookshelf, “I was only looking at your books.” You mutter weakly, not even able to look at him as you keep your stare trained on the books and their titles.
“I didn’t mean to see it, but…” You trail off, thousands of emotions racing through you as you try to deny it in your mind, sadness from before, anger with yourself, and suddenly feel vexation towards him for no particular reason as your eyes snap to his, “God, why do you care? It’s just a photo! I didn’t…I didn’t mean to look, but I saw that thing I gave you, and I had thought you would’ve tossed it away by now, and I just wanted to see what you’d keep in there and…yeah, fuck, okay, I looked! I’m sorry, okay? But…I mean, you keep it as a junk box anyway, it’s not like it’s…like it’s an heirloom!” You’re trying to ration and reason and trying to justify your clearly immoral actions as you ramble again, a terrible trait of yours, as he just takes it, takes your anger and your slew of words and your hurt as you feel your eyes water for no reason again as you hug your arms to yourself.
He says nothing for another moment, his eyes dark and piercing.
And then he moves.
His arm reaches upwards, up to the shelf, up behind your head to where the box was resting on the top shelf, and he slowly brings his hand down, your heart in your throat as he nearly throws the lid open, beginning to pull everything out one by one.
“This,” he’s holding the ticket stub, “This is from tonight.”
Your hands instantly drop to your sides as the anger fades and utter confusion floods your senses.
…huh?
You had just looked at the box; how did you not notice? But you look closer at it, the date and the row and seat number nearly the same as the ticket stub you had thrown away after leaving the theater in a hurry, and your eyes flee up towards him, his chest heaving as he continues.
“This is from when we went to the beach,” he pulls out a chipped seashell, and you recognize the pattern instantly, remembering the one time the four of you had gone to the shoreline, a seashell you had picked up and thought was interesting, showing it to him before Shoko called you away, but you don’t have any time to compute that as he pulls out the next time.
“This is from the candy you gave me during a study session we had,” he pulls out a wrinkled wrapper, “This is the hair tie you left at my place and forgot,” he has a simple black elastic band sitting in the palm of his hand, but he could very much so be holding your pittering pattering heart the more he continues, his voice quivering slightly, and you’ve never heard him ramble like this, ramble like you.
“This is the leaf that was stuck in my hair that you pulled out,” he admits quietly, holding up the dried leaf from the time you had been walking next to him in the fall, the trees shaking in the wind, giggling at his white hair littered with the colorful leaves, “These are the coins you gave me because I didn’t have any change,” he’s holding up the spare sterlings you had lent him when he wanted some ice cream but forgot his card at home, and your eyes move up and down, a strange thumping sound in your ears because you feel like you’re about to faint, and he slows to a stop, his cheeks flushed and his hands shaking as his hand fills with all of the things you have given him over the past two years, things that a normal person would have thrown away or used or given back.
“This…” his lips tremble as he shuts them for a second, looking unlike the person you’ve begun to know so deeply as his fingers wrap around something, pulling out a neatly folded white napkin, unused, as he takes in a steadying breath, “This is the, erm, the napkin you lent me. From the night we first met.”
The box is empty now, but the room fills with moments in time, moments that you would cherish in the deepest parts of your mind before you went to bed, and pretended like they were fleeting and didn't matter so that you could face him bravely the next time you saw him. Moments that you thought he treated like normal moments in time that would pass and would never be remembered again, moments that you didn’t think he would…hold onto.
Not the way you did.
“It’s not…junk,” he admits thickly, “For me it’s not.”
He stops, taking in a deep breath as he pushes his hair away from his face, carefully putting everything back in the box, including the photograph, as he sets it down, turning back to face your stunned expression.
“Look, have you ever seen me without my glasses?”
You blink. Realizing that he’s waiting on you to answer, you blank before shaking your head slowly, and he nods.
“Right, right, well, I used to wear contacts. All the time. Ask Suguru o-or Shoko but…ever since you said that you like the way glasses look, I…I don’t know, I kept wearing them, hoping you’d…” he trails off, his cheeks completely red, the tips of his ears a bright pink as he ducks his head down, scratching his nape sheepishly, whispering, “Hoping you’d maybe say it again.”
Your eyes go wide, and you blink owlishly, swearing you look fish-adjacent with the way you can only give him this look on repeat as he takes your silence as an okay for him to go on a rare nervous tangent of his own.
“When I was little, my grandfather taught me how to tie his tie. He said that I should learn how to do it by myself so that I wouldn't need any help when I grow up.”
You don’t say anything, and he doesn’t get angry at your silence, but simply offers you a small, worried smile.
“I’ve gotten pretty good at it,” he confesses with a farce laugh, something empty and shaky, "But you always ask to tie them, and…I always let you. You’re the only person I feel comfortable with; the only person who it doesn’t feel like,” he shivered, wincing slightly as if his skin was prickling at the thought of other people touching him the way you do, “The only person who can touch me and I feel…okay.”
“I have a shelf of all the books you’ve talked about,” he persists, motioning upwards, and you slowly look around to where The Count of Monte Cristo was sitting, along with all the other books you’ve raved about in the past, thinking he’d only listen and give you kind comments, not knowing that he had gone home and sat down and read them all afterwards, “I stopped drinking whenever we go out together because you said you don’t really like the smell of alcohol on people’s breaths. I…” he rakes his hand through his hair again, a nervous fidget of his as he looks pleadingly at you, “I have my spot on Suguru’s couch because your spot is right next to it.”
“And our friends tell me that I’m not crazy, that…that I might have a chance,” he motions a shaking hand between the two of you, and you allow yourself this time to blink again, “But, I don’t know,” his head ducks as he chokes back some tears, and your eyes widen even more, your eyebrows up in your hair at this point because you’ve been rendered speechless, “It’s like any time I try to get closer to you, you leave or immediately want to be anywhere else or seem uncomfortable and I don’t want you to feel that way, especially because of me.”
When he looks up, his eyes are glassy, looking like a stormy ocean, and you feel tears prickle at yours, your breath lodged in your throat as you try to pinch yourself, swearing that you were in some vision, but this is real, and he’s not stopping, saying the words you’ve only dreamt of.
“I know I’m not really…the kind of person that you’d usually go for,” he explains, his voice dim, “I’m not good with literary nuances or dissecting medieval texts. I can’t read the way you read, and I’m not good with understanding people the way you do, but…I want to be. I want to be that, I want to be good for you.”
Your mouth is wide open as you gape at him, trying to make sense of the words that you could only imagine as you stared silently at him saying to you, saying them to you here. The two of you don’t say much for a second, your eyes blinking rapidly as your mind travels faster than the speed of sound, and you realize that he’s not lying or trying to make you laugh. He’s not confessing his love for another girl, but instead clutching his chest because it felt like your silence was leading up to a personal rejection, and you can barely muster up any actual words as you surge towards him, stopping his rambling as your arms wrap around his neck, knees knocking against his as your lips slam against his.
Your heart plummets as you feel him still, his arms still at his sides as his eyes widen in shock, and you feel like you’ve completely screwed things up, going to step away before his hands shoot upwards, wrapping around your waist and legs as he hoists you up, his lips moving against yours hungrily.
“You’re so…so stupid,” you mutter in between breaths, his lips parting yours, soft and gentle and fast and desperate as they chase the way you taste, wanting to savor the plushness of yours as you mewl at the way his fingers dig into your soft skin, moving you effortlessly towards his bed as the two of you smile against each other, laughing in the air as your back hits the mattress. He fidgets with his glasses, pushing them up with his middle finger, coming a little loose after everything.
“Yeah?” He murmurs, happy, giddy, his eyes bright and alive and electric as he nips at your bottom lip, his own shining with spit as he ducks down again, pressing kisses to your face, and you feel lightheaded, “Tell me how I’m stupid, baby.”
You groan, lightly hitting his chest as he chuckles lightly, his kisses moving to your cheek, across your nose, as your smile turns bright enough to power the sun for the rest of eternity if it were to die in this very moment.
“I,” you huff, your chest burning and your hands tangled in his hair, fisting his shirt as you bring him in impossibly closer, “I’ve had this…debilitating crush on you ever since I saw you,” you admit quietly, and he pauses, his sunset dusted cheeks turning into a wide grin as he huffs out a laugh and push his face away from your as you turn away in discomfiture, “And I’ve done everything to get you to notice me. I’ve embarrassed myself like, twenty times a day, hoping you’d look my way.”
Satoru raises a slender brow, and you have the urge to pull him down by the collar, pressing your lips to his as he happily obliges, his tongue poking out to tease yours as he turns to an even bigger taunting menace as he pulls away.
“I can’t stop looking at you,” he mumbles shyly, ducking down as he kisses your throat, and you shift slightly to give him more access, your breath catching in your lungs as his kisses turn into him sucking in a patch of skin, licking it over when he’s satisfied it’s going to mark. “I could barely focus on the play tonight because I kept looking over.”
You let out a giggle, curling his soft strands of hair around your finger as he glances up to see your smile, pressing a chaste kiss as if he wanted to taste the way your unabashed happiness felt.
“And I try to sound smarter whenever you’re around,” you admit, and he snorts against the skin of your cheek again, enjoying how plush and soft it was, biting it as you squeal, but it was never hard enough to hurt, just experimental, and he laughs, “And you never even acknowledged the number of times I’d bring up a science-y article I had spent the entire night analyzing just for you to ask me about my stupid book report.” You pout, and he attempts to kiss it off of you, his hands roaming the exposed skin of your waist and stomach, hot against your cold self, and he rolls his eyes.
“That’s only because I was having tiny aneurysms whenever you’d do that,” he reasons, his face morphing into something sweet and gentle and something so entirely new and…yours that you wish you could take a picture of it, “And I wanted you to know that I remembered the things you told me.”
You throw a hand over your face, not wanting him to see the gleefulness on your face, but he just wrings your hands away, slotting his long legs in between yours as he lets out another joyous laugh.
“Come on,” he insists, nudging his nose against your jaw, “How else am I stupid?”
You let out an exaggerated groan, biting your lip as you try to think through your muddled thoughts.
“You…you…you kept only the ridiculous things I gave you!” You argue, and he moves upwards slightly, giving you a pointed look, as if you were offending his lifeline or treasures, “I’ve given so many things and…” But you trail off, feeling his large hand gently wrap around your face, turning it to the side so you could see his room from his point of view.
“Look closely,” he softly urges, and your eyes trail across the walls, the shelves, the tabletops, “This room is full of you.”
And he’s right.
The postcards he has up are the ones you gave the three of them from the time you had gone to Paris with your family over the summer, picking out individual ones you thought each of them would like. Vintage telescopes and microscopes you imagined him enjoying, but never enough to actually put them up. The music box that plays the theme of A New Hope, a simple melody from his favorite movie that you had also gotten for his birthday, sits on his bedside table. The books you had found on sale about plant biology, a little thing you thought he might like, rest on top of his bookshelf.
Your bottom lip catches between your teeth, and he chuckles at your quiet reaction, dipping down to kiss you again, wanting to nudge those sounds from you, even if he has to take them like this.
“Is this why you’d scare off any guy who came up to me?” You ask, but you already know the answer, just wanting to see the look on his face as he groaned, pinching your side as you giggle at his antics.
“I thought I was being so obvious,” he murmured against your lips, his tongue roaming through your mouth as you part it slightly for him, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling, a string of spit connecting the two of you as he pulls away, “Everyone could see how badly I wanted you.”
You shrug, feeling sluggish from his movements.
“I didn’t,” you argue faintly, and he looks up, white lashes fluttering as he grins, kissing the tip of your nose as he smiles.
“Guess I didn’t either,” he whispers teasingly, “Guess we’re both stupid for that.”
You go to fight back, but you let out an embarrassing moan at the way his hands travel across your stomach, pushing your shirt upwards slightly as your back arches upwards to chase the feeling. His hands are large and travel expertly across your body, as if he’s mapped out the small things that make you squirm and the things you itch for, as if he’s spent the past two years studying you instead of his dusty textbooks, and the thought alone makes you shake with anticipation.
“Can’t believe I waited this long,” he murmurs against the skin of your stomach, kissing the plain of it as you shake with an uncontrollable giggle, “Why didn’t you say anything, hm? Did you like tormenting me like this?”
The question makes you stop.
Suddenly, everything from before comes rushing back.
It seems like it sets off alarm bells in your head, as if you had been functioning through a rose-tinted fog for the past couple of minutes, and suddenly reality hits you because…you haven’t told him for a reason. The months and months of pining after him weren’t just because you liked torturing yourself, but because of your frankly very real fears of rejection for more reasons than one.
After a second, you huff, hands clenching by your sides as you feel a surge of feelings, deep ones that you’ve choked on and tried to hide, and he notices the instant way you tense up, stopping his movements as he glances upwards at you.
“Do you want to stop?” He asks gently, tugging the hem of your (his) shirt back down to cover your stomach, and you let out a delicate laugh, a pensive look on your face as you chew worriedly on your face.
Sighing, you rub a hand down your face, sitting upright with your back resting on his headboard, and turn to look back at his desk, feeling the weight of his stare more than before as heat licks at your cheeks.
“What about…what about the others?”
The question rings through the room, bouncing off the walls, and his brows furrow in slight confusion as you still refuse to tear your eyes away from his desk, your hands resting in your lap, and he moves slowly, his large hands encompassing yours, unraveling your fingers, alleviating the tension you didn’t know was building.
“What others?” Satoru asks after a moment, unjudgmentally, tenderly, and caring, patient as you huff out another shaky laugh, shrugging your shoulders as they fall in a heavy drop, your chest rattling with the emotions you had been trying to kill off from the past two years.
You chew on the inside of your cheek, feel his fingers against yours, and your gaze flickers to his before going back to focusing on something to the side.
“This is gonna sound stupid,” you preface, but his thumb presses into the palm of your hand, a small sign that he wasn’t going to judge anything that came out of your mouth because he just showed you that he kept the first napkin you had ever given him.
“But…” you drop your head into your hands, your voice muffled as you continue, “I see the girls that come up to you. O-or your ex. Vi…right?” You peek up, and his eyes are slightly squinted, nodding slowly, as if he wants you to make your point before he says something, “And they’re just so…ugh, I don’t know…perfect? Like, they seem perfect for you. Either they’re stunning, or they’re in your major, or they’re both, or just…so different, and I feel like I’m…not…that.”
He blinks slowly, piecing this together with the fact that he asked you why you hadn’t spoken up sooner, and his lips tug upwards in a little grin, one that makes you want to roll your eyes if not for the storm brewing inside of you, and he tugs you closer, one of his hands wrapping around your waist as he drops his head onto your chest.
“I think you’ve got it backwards,” he says against you, his voice vibrating off of you, and you feel it shake you to your core, his hand moving up and down the expanse of your back as you hand unconsciously move upwards, back to his soft white locks, “Because none of those girls could measure up to my perfect girl.”
You stop, glad he can’t see the large smile on your face as you head falls backwards, thumping against the wood as your chest swells with joy, and when he looks up, his goofy grin could match yours, and you push him away by the cheek, but he just moves, kissing the palm of your hand as you laugh softly.
“You’re so stupid,” you repeat, but he knows you’re only masking the giddiness you feel as he nods against your hand, his eyes shimmering and bright as he sits up a little straighter, nearly encompassing you with his body as he leans closer, his nose nudging yours as the two of you smile against each other's lips.
“You’ve got that right,” he whispers in the small space of air between you, “I’m such a fool for you.”
You decide then that you don’t give him any more time to talk or say something else that could turn your insides to mush, so you tug him down by his neck, his lips curling upwards as they press against yours.
He seems like he’s experimenting with kissing you, as if he knows you’re learning in real time, and has no qualms taking it slow. He lets you take the lead when you want, lets you dart your tongue out slightly, and opens his mouth to welcome you in. When you get a little shyer, he takes the initiative, hands roaming around your hips, pulling you into his lap as you mewl him again. When he could tell you needed some air, he’d pull away, kissing the corners of your lips, your cheeks that he loved so much, the edge of your brows that would pull into the cutest furrows whenever you were confused, and cherished you the way he’d been aching for ever since he saw you at that stupid English department banquet.
You chase the feeling of his skin on yours, the way his fingers feel when they trace your features, the way his hands run up your arms, the way his palm cups your jaw. Your hands seem to have a mind of their own, his as well, as they drop down to the drawstring of his trousers, running up the smooth and hard skin of his abs, feeling greedy as you run a finger down his delicious v-line. You feel him shuddering beneath you, and you grin evilly, your mouth water as you untie his pants, your fingers running over the white tufts of hair of his happy trail, and your shuffle around a little bit to help him as he tugs up the hem of his old band shirt that you donned, and you almost let out a whine when they suddenly stop, lashes fluttering open to see what he was going to do next.
His forehead drops onto yours, one of his arms pulling you closer to his chest, the other still cradling your face, and you see the way his face has gone pink, a light hue that you rarely see him in.
“Just so you know, this, em, this isn’t how I wanted things to go.”
You let out a stark laugh, your hands pressing against his as your fingers curl around his hair, tilting your head slightly to the side.
“Yeah? How were things supposed to go?” You ask, trying not to sound too selfishly drunk on him as he shrugs, his lips pressing together as he divulges you in his own fantasies, things he’d only think about when it was the two of you together and he’d be wanting to confess his undying love for you while you’d be rambling on about John Milton or another one of your other favorite authors.
He looks shy, and you want to bite him, watching him gather up some of the courage you had kissed away as he takes one of your hands away from his arms, playing with your fingers as he pushes some of his tousled hair away from his face.
“Well, I was planning on telling you how crazy I am about you after this whole day I had planned out,” he starts, scratching the back of his neck as he turns a little red, “I had, erm, bought tickets to the museum you’ve been wanting to go to,” he says, his eyes flickering from your face to the side as his head drops, and you nudge it back up as he chuckles, “The one displaying the original copies of those old books you like so much.”
He swallows, taking a deep breath, and then continues.
“And I wanted it to just be us, nobody else. I would have obviously read up on all the authors on exhibit, so I wouldn’t look like a total idiot when, or if, you had come, and I’d spend the entire time sweating and hoping you couldn’t see.” You giggle, and he squeezes your hand, rubbing his thumb up and down the back of it in a soothing gesture. Your eyes drop, urging him gently to continue because you feel like you’re in a dream, and if he stops, you’re going to wake up from it.
“Afterwards, I’d take you to this restaurant I’ve heard is good,” he grins boyishly, tongue poking in between his lips, “And when we were done, I’d walk you back to your place and…tell you that I liked you then.”
You can’t stop smiling, and he can’t stop either.
“Just…just that you liked me?” you tease, humming as he shifts a little, his arms wrapping around your waist, “Not to be…selfish, or anything, but I feel like this way was so much more romantic with your little box of trinkets and your rambling.” He groans, pinching you lightly as you snicker, but he ultimately shakes his head, smoothing over the place he pinched with his soothing touch.
“No, no,” he mutters, his face determined, as if he was recounting everything he had planned to say, “I’d tell you how much I liked the way you look when you start talking about your day,” his thumb brushes across your cheek, running across the soft hair of your brows, “And how much I like the way you care about everything you do and everybody around you. I’d tell you that I really like it when you tell me about the book you just finished, and how much I admire your kind heart. I’d tell you that I…I like how wonderfully weird you are, and how I wish I could be half as interesting as you are on a regular day. I would have told you how you’re always the first person I look for when I enter a room. And…” his shoulders rise and drop as he pulls you impossibly closer, “I would have really hoped that Suguru and Shoko were right about this because I’d be…a little embarrassed if not.”
You hum, pretending to think as you twirl his white strands around your pointer finger even though you feel like you’re on fire and you can’t breathe and everything feels like it’s burning in the best way possible, try not to freak out because the guy you’ve been in love with basically just admitted the most amazing things to you, so you take a steadying breath, your head tilting as you smile.
“And what if I didn’t want you to stop?” You feel heat blossom across your lungs when you hear his breathing hitch, “After…after you’d do all of that?”
He nods, surveying his different options as his blue eyes turn into a slightly different shade, as if they were dependent upon his emotions, and his hands turn a little heavier as they roam across your stomach, up across the skin of your ribcage, and they stop right under your bra.
“Hmm, well, I would’ve have asked you what you wanted to happen next,” his smile is wicked as his face drops down to your neck, leaving wet kisses until he ends up at your collarbone, right at the neck of your shirt as you nearly whine, feeling his teeth scrape just barely over the soft skin, “What is it you want, baby? What else would you want me to do?”
Your breathing stutters, and you arch your back a little, letting his nimble fingers fiddle with the clasp of your bra, giving you enough time to turn him down, but you don’t; you want, no, need, for him to continue.
“I,” your breath lodges in your throat when he opens the clasps, helping you tug the straps down until your old ratty bra, the comfortable one that you were sure wouldn’t matter being worn tonight because you never imagined something like this happening, but he doesn’t care, setting it to the side as he wait patiently, menacingly, for you to find your words, “I’d probably ask you to…to come up.”
He groans lightly, a mix between a guttural moan and a laugh.
“Yeah?” It’s not so much a question, but a confirmation as you nod, shivering when his hands move back upwards, your chest heaving as you feel his nimble and long fingers cup your tits, his fingers running over your nipples as your head falls to his shoulders, “Then what? What would I have done after I came up?”
You go down, you want to say tauntingly, but don’t have the willpower as his thumb flicks over a nipple, and you whine.
“Eh, you’d, uh, I’d, we, would probably end up on…on my bed and I’d probably be wearing something cuter than this,” you try to say indifferently, and he rolls his eyes because you could be wearing faux feathers glued to the entirety of your body and he’d still think you were the most beautiful woman to ever exist, “And I’d probably be a little more confident telling you what I,” you gulp audibly, your cheeks heating up, “What I want, seeing that you wouldn’t have just seen me at my virtual lowest hours earlier.” And he chuckles, and it feels right, feels like this was meant to happen as his hands fall from your breasts, trailing down your stomach as you shuffle a little, moving to lie back on his pillow as he shuffles to, situating his body in between your thighs, waiting for your next command.
Satoru’s grin turns soft, like he knows what it is you want, but needs to hear you say it for him to feel okay doing the thing that’s setting him alight. His hand moves, taking yours into his again and intertwining his fingers between yours.
“… what do you want, love?” His voice is thick, and it settles deep in your bones as your head falls, squeezing his fingers as you sheepishly mutter something, and he barely hears you, nudging you to say it a little louder as you groan in embarrassment, an arm flying over your face as your head falls back, not able to look him in the eyes as you timidly whisper;
“For you, like…to do stuff,” you murmur so quietly you think that your lips barely even moved, “To…to eat me out or….or whatever.”
When he says nothing for a moment, you peek between your fingers and see his cheeks flushed, a shit-eating grin on his face as he sets his chin down on your stomach, his glasses crooked as his brow arched. He moves, gingerly tugs your arm away from your face, and sits down by your side as he presses a chaste kiss to your stomach.
“Yeah….yeah, I think I can ‘eat you out or whatever’,” he says, and you groan ever louder, flicking his forehead as he chuckles, taking your words as the sign to go, go, go, his fingers moving excruciatingly slow as they start to tug the waistband of your pants and boxers (his, again), down, looking up at you for a little assistance, and you lift your hips, allowing him to slide them down fully.
You blink, relaxing that you’re completely bare right now, but he doesn't give you any time to be self-conscious as his pupils seem to blow up with lust, hungrily eating up the way your pussy is glistening with want and need, his cheeks a fiery red as his chest moves in a large exhale, like the air had been knocked from him.
His hand raises upwards to take his glasses off, but you make a sudden movement, as if your body was functioning on autopilot, when your hands wrap around his wrist, stopping him from doing anything else.
“Don’t,” your voice is barely above a whisper, “K-keep them on.”
His white lashes flutter slightly, and he gives you one of his boyish smiles that you love so much, his teeth shining as he presses his lips to the inside of your wrist, nodding slowly as he pushes his glasses back on.
“If I knew that waiting so long for you to tell me that you liked my glasses would have been when I’m about to do this, I think I could have waited another couple of years more.” He says honestly, dropping himself down between your thighs, and your eyes flutter shut, head falling back on the pillow as you feel his warm hands slowly move up and up and up, parting you ever so slightly so he could situate himself better between them.
Your mouth parts when you feel his fingers move on the outside of your lips, collecting the slick, and you hold back a wanton moan, your hands flying up to his hair, tugging him closer. You watch as he pushes his glasses up by using his shoulder to move the frames up, and when his lips suddenly latch onto your clit you actually think you’ve gone insane.
His tongue darts out, moaning like a whore when he finally gets to taste your saccharine taste, his eyes rolling back as he parts your lips, the sound greedy as he moves a thumb to circle your clit, moving down to run his tongue selfishly up and down your pussy for his own pleasure, needing to feel you or else he was going to go mad.
“You taste,” his voice is muffled as he pants against your cunt, using a finger to move up and down the slit, “You taste sweet,” he said it like he was startled, like he had spent hours and hours studying female anatomy and how to pleasure a girl and what to do, but never could have expected this unexpected turn, to taste you and realize that you were sweeter and more delicious than any candy he’s ever eaten before, “Why do you taste so…so sweet?”
You would laugh if you weren’t so turned on, saying some jumbled-up words as he ducks down again, your fingers digging into his scalp as his thumb goes a little faster on your swollen nub, his long pointer finger rubbing at the outside of your pussy, getting ready to push it in.
When he finally does, your walls instantly clamp down on it, and you moan, not expecting the stretch, and he gives you some time to adjust. It’s not like you’re a prude, you’ve at least attempted this before, but your fingers aren’t like Gojo Satoru’s, and you feel like you could come just from this.
“Feeling good, baby?” He questions, and you hurriedly nod, hearing him chuckle.
“Yeah,” you stutter out, your teeth clenched as you feel his finger start to move out, and then your mouth falls open as he starts to slowly pump it in and out of you, a mind-bending pace that has you clenching around him, “Feels good.”
He nods, taking it as confirmation to keep going, and he switches between a finger and his tongue, darting them inside of you. He keeps his pressure on your clit, and you grow impossibly wetter when he leans down to lay a cute little kiss on it, his glasses slowly fogging up.
Gojo Satoru eats you out like you’re his last meal, like he’s been living like Tantalus for his twenty years alive, and finally, the fruit tree doesn’t move from his grasp, and he’s able to divulge like the greedy and sinful man he always has been.
Sometimes the hand that’s occupying your clit moves upwards, pulling his old shirt up and over the expanse of your torso to see your supple skin shake beneath his large palms, and he cups your tits, groaning like a slut when he feels your nipples pebble, and he pinches them between his pointer finger and thumb, twisting a little to feel you squeal, and he grins, softening his touch as he smooths it over, moving back down to your nub as if nothing happened.
You watch from hooded eyes, watch the way his eyes close, like he’s savoring your taste. You see the way he slowly ruts into the mattress, like he was getting off to this, and the thought itself makes you gush even more.
When he’s satisfied that you’ve adjusted to his one finger, he decides to slip another one in, and the size alone makes you whine, the stretch something that causes tears to dart in the corner of your eyes in delicious pain.
“Hmm,” you moan, one of your hands fisting the sheets, the other tangled in his white hair as you guide him up and down, and you can swear you feel him smiling against you, as if your reactions were a symphony to his ears, “It’s not like I really have a metric but…you’re good at this.”
Satoru chuckles, looking up at you, and the sight knocks the air out of your lungs. His cheeks are flushed, wet in the dim lighting of the room, his glasses crooked, and his hair a mess, but he looks positively radiant as his smile flashes bright.
“I hope I am,” his voice is lower than you’ve ever heard it, and it vibrates against your pussy, “I’ve been studying.”
Despite feeling lightheaded, his statement chased you to come to your senses a bit, sitting up on your elbows as you looked at him through furrowed brows.
“Studying?” You parrot, and he nods eagerly, his thumb putting pressure on your sensitive and swollen clit as your mouth falls open in a silent moan, barely able to keep your eyes open as he explains.
“Mhm,” he hums, his nose, the beautiful nose that you want to kiss all over, rubs expertly on the hood of your clit as he presses chaste, sloppy kisses to your cunt, “I read all these posts and books and papers about what the best way to eat a girl out,” his voice is hoarse, licking up and down your syrupy inner walls, his two fingers never stopping their relentless pace as something deep in your stomach begins to build up, “Brushed up on some….anatomy and the sorts.”
You let out a breathless laugh.
Because of course he had.
“You,” your mouth clamps shut when he hits the spongy part deep inside of you that makes your toes curl, your lashes fluttering against your hot cheeks, and you can’t talk correctly but make the attempt to, barely above a whisper as you mutter, “Y-you’re insane.”
He rolls his eyes, but doesn’t deny it as his thumb swirls in figure eight patterns on your clit, his pointer and middle fingers curling upwards, and you can’t really find it in yourself to chide him when he’s making you feel heavenly.
You feel like you’re unraveling at his skillful hands, and it definitely doesn’t help that whenever you have the guts to open your eyes you’re met with the view of Satoru loosing himself in your cunt, as with each second that passed, he was going just as crazy as you were, and it felt like that familiar feeling of an orgasm building, but unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.
It’s almost like he knows, because he seems to go faster, switching between licking and his fingers, and your grip on him tightens, and he moans, welcoming the sting.
“Come on,” he presses, urging, needing you to finish around him, to taste your relief on his tongue, “Come on, baby, I know you wanna come.”
You nod, sweat dotting your forehead, your chest heaving up and down with labored breaths, that knot inside of you tightening as your thighs clamp down around his head, your walls pulsing around his fingers.
It gradually builds, but that feeling suddenly snaps, and you jolt, your back arching, moving into him, his fingers never stopping, his thumb and lips on your clit, suctioning in a perfect way that sends you over the edge. You clench tightly around him, creaming, spasming as you gush, your eyes rolling back in your head as you let out the quietest but sweetest moan, and when you feel your orgasms slow to a dull pulse, you fall back onto his mattress, limp as he doesn’t stop instantly.
Instead, he lets his fingers slow down carefully, as if you’d get immediate withdrawal from the feeling of having him inside of you. He kisses your clit once, then twice, and pulls away, connected by a string of spit, slick and your cum, and when you finally have the energy to wring your eyes open, the sight of him wrecked form eating you out makes you even more wet.
You take a few moments to catch your breath, your chest heaving up and down, your hand falling away from his soft locks as it sprawls across your stomach, and you stare helplessly at the ceiling.
Blinking owlishly, you awkwardly scootch upwards until you’re resting on the back of the headboard, and you watch as he brings his fingers up to his mouth, grinning coyly as he moans at the taste of you, and if you could, you’d pinch him, but you just weakly push him with your foot, looking away abashedly.
“Nasty,” you whisper hoarsely, your voice gone, and he coos, crawling towards you, bringing his face towards yours as he nudges his nose with yours, and you’re weak, giving in as he hungrily presses his wet lips to yours.
You can taste yourself on him, and you mewl, feeling his tongue in your mouth, licking inside of you, wanting you to enjoy what he just enjoyed, and your shaking hands grip around his neck. He pulls away a little bit, biting your bottom lip before kissing it, and he rubs a loving thumb across your cheek, his eyes turning gentle as he peers at you through those ocean eyes through those stunning glasses you adore so much.
You don’t trust your voice, so instead you let your hands unravel from his nape, moving upwards towards the expensive frames, straightening them on his nose, making sure they rest correctly on his pink ears, and he watches silently, reverently, as you push him back gently by the chin, making sure that they looked right on the bridge of his nose.
“Hmm, looks better,” you whisper affectionately, kissing the tip of his nose like you’ve always wanted, and that seems to push him over the edge, quickly wrapping his arms around your midsection as he pulls you closer to him, falling back on the bed as he tugs you into his chest, his head resting in the crook of your neck.
At that moment, you feel it, and your eyes blink rapidly from their hazy state as his hard-on pressed against your thigh.
“Hey,” you murmur, poking his side, but he doesn’t seem like budging, his overwhelming heat and size covering you, his thick arms not moving from caging you to him, and you can’t even wrangle free, “‘Toru, what about you?”
He doesn’t even lift his head, just hums against the skin of your neck, his lips busy leaving hickeys all over it, ones you’re going to deeply regret in the morning but can’t seem to care right now except for the boner you’re sure is deeply uncomfortable.
“What about me?” He dreamily replies, his voice barely audible, and you roll your eyes. From this angle, you can see the way his shirt is riding up, his abs on display, the veins leading downward prominent, and his trail of white hair is calling your name.
You wedge your hand in between your bodies as you press against his cock, the movement causing him to yelp and shudder, whimpering against you as you snicker, sure that now he’s going to give you some more undivided attention.
He sits up a little bit, resting his head on his fist, his elbow on his pillow as he peers down at you, his brow slightly cocked, not looking impressed with being tormented like this after treating you so kindly by giving you the best orgasm of your life.
“Not nice,” he reprimands warmly, poking your side as you yelp, his finger much more sturdy than yours, “You’re not really supposed to grab dicks like that, y’know?”
Your cheeks heat at his choice words, and you shrug, feigning innocence as you bring his hand to yours, admiring the large size a syou play with his fingers, feeling more touchy than usual, and you’re ever so glad that he lets you.
“I’m just saying,” you mumble, flashing him a look that sends a nonexistent punch to his gut, the blood rushing south because you look ethereal like this, “Don’t you want me to…return to favor? Tit for tat?”
He chuckles, his thumb moving across your eyebrow, soothing the furrow as it moves down to rub against your cheek.
“We can do tat later,” he uses your terminology and you giggle, your lips pulling into a bright smile because you’re sitting in a post-orgasm afterglow with your crush, and that stupid theorem you had stressed over doesn’t even matter anymore because the impossible outcome is happening right now and you don’t bother with looking normal because you’re feeling anything but, “I still have a date I need to take you out on.”
You try not to gush like an idiot, your head falling into his sturdy chest, and his hand moves up and down your back, tracing stars and circles and hearts and writing his name, as if he wanted everyone to see the invisible ink that’s bleeding from his fingertips into you.
His finger hooks around your jaw, tilting your head upwards so he can see you better.
“You wanna date me?” You ask breathlessly with dizzingly joy, the question holding no weight because the two of you already know the answer, but he indulges you, his head falling to yours, forehead against yours, glasses sitting perfectly on his perfect face that’s pressing against your perfect one.
“I want to be yours,” he murmurs, vulnerability thick in his voice as your lashes flutter, “So, yeah, I want to date you.”
You giggle again, and you lift your head a little to slot your lips against his plush ones.
“I want to be yours too, Satoru,” you say, and he groans, his eyes rolling back like those were the only words he’s been dying to hear, and he lets out a victorious laugh, something happy and sickeningly sweet because the girl he’s been in love with for the past two years just so happens to love him back.
summary. after years of failed dating app matches, you finally hit it off with someone. he’s funny, charming, emotionally available… and apparently?! not who you thought he was... literally — because he used his ex-best friend suguru geto as his profile picture! so now, you’re stranded in a foreign country for the holidays, stuck with the real satoru gojo: a digimon-loving, trivia-winning, six-foot-tall nerd who... sure. may have catfished you. but he also might just win your heart.
tags/warnings. fluffy holiday au. nerdjo. light angst. slow burn. eventual smut. long distance relationship (reader is from cali, satoru is from japan). fake dating. one bed trope (yuuuup). found family feelings w/ the jjk cast. lots of dorky humor. alcohol/weed usage. there’s a bit of suguru x reader (also sukuna hits on you a lot bc he wants to piss gojo off). endgame is satoru x reader w/ a happy ending! soft and silly romcom vibes.
author note. merry christmas! this fic is loosely based on the movie Love Hard (w/ my own retelling). it'll be 2 parts! i wanted it to be a oneshot and was rly hoping to finish it before christmas but life got in my way so alas. i'll say more towards the bottom but enjoy this first part for now~ (art by @/leimiruu on x)
main masterlist - part 2 >>>
Love is… hard.
Not ‘hard’ like an honest misunderstanding, or a fight you work through with emotional maturity and a seasonally appropriate Hallmark movie kiss.
No — ‘hard’ like dodging your fifth unsolicited dick pic of the week while Googling ‘how to spot a narcissist,’ because apparently you need a manual now. Like realizing your therapist makes more money off your dating trauma than you ever will.
Which is funny, considering people pay you to write about it.
“Do I believe in love? No. But I do believe in ad revenue. And trust me — what you’re writing? Sells. You’ll make it big, darling. I swear.”
Wise words from your boss, Mei-Mei. And by wise, you mean cold, calculated, and unfortunately? Very on brand.
You’re a columnist for Swipe Right into Hell, and your beat? Disaster dates. Ghostings. Red flags. You write about it all. One guy asked if he could wear his ex-wife’s wedding ring during sex. Another told you he didn’t believe in astrology or feminism — but he did believe in Bitcoin.
So, yeah. If love is a battlefield, you’re the war correspondent. Bulletproof. Jaded. Always packing a pen.
You’d think by now — after all the swipes, the situationships, the nights replaying bad decisions in bathroom mirrors — you’d have cracked the code. Found the formula. Unlocked the algorithm to real connection.
Mei-Mei certainly thinks you did.
“Ughhh. You’re a genius! I swear, your last column was chef’s kiss,” she purred to you on Monday, tapping her lacquered nails against a chart of engagement analytics. “Tragically humiliating… in a relatable way, of course!”
Tragically humiliating?
Yeah, sure. That’s one way to describe it. Your date dumped you via a Venmo memo when you asked him to split the bill with you.
(“Lunch was great. You’re not. ✌️”)
“Uh... thanks. I think?”
You weren’t entirely sure if that was praise or exploitation — because with Mei-Mei, the line was always blurred.
“Of course, baby!” she cooed. “Your ratings are exceptionally high. But... let’s kick it up a notch, shall we?” And grinning like a cheshire cat, she slid a detailed spreadsheet in front of you encouragingly.
“We need a story so massive before Christmas. Don’t ask me why, but holiday trauma performs extremely well. I expect your report by early-December. Get back out there, hm?”
Apparently, love is dead. Because people live for drama. For tragedy. It’s unfortunate, but it gets the clicks. And despite all the ‘new material’ you’re looking for? A part of you still aches — still yearns — for love.
So, like a well-trained masochist, you swipe. Again.
| Brett, 27 — Los Angeles, CA |
“Hey, kitten. I’m Sapiosexual. An INTJ. Love your profile. Let’s chat, yeah?”
Sent a dick pic and texted “U up?” at 3:17 a.m. on a Tuesday. (You weren’t)
Swipe.
| Colin, 32 — Santa Monica, CA |
“Sup. I’m just a nice guy. Totally not like other guys.”
Sent a three-paragraph spiral about how nice guys finish last due to unrequited love. (With his childhood best friend.)
Swipe.
| Naoya, 22 — Orange County, CA |
“What do you do for fun? Because let me set the record straight. I love a woman who knows their place. Preferably, three steps behind me. Or in the kitchen.”
You reported him. Twice. (Just to be sure…)
Swipe.
| Greg, 25 — San Francisco, CA |
“Hey. Uh... I’m married btw. But it’s complicated, u know?”
You almost admire the honesty. (Almost.)
Swipe.
Swipe.
Swipe.
You were about five more red flags away from joining a monastery when suddenly, you got an idea. Perhaps... it’s just California? You’ve been living here your whole damn life. Let’s try escaping the endless sea of self-proclaimed “entrepreneurs” — the gym bros, the surfer stoners. The men who think that being emotionally available is a liability.
So? You expand your distance radius.
Like...
Way out.
Just to see what would happen.
| Satoru, 26 — Kyoto, Japan |
“Hey. I’m not here to play games. Unless it’s Mario Kart. But don’t cry, because I’d totally win, sweetheart.”
It’s a miracle. Because for once, there’s no shirtless mirror selfie. It’s just a guy on a front porch, wearing a hoodie. There’s a coffee cupped in his hands, with long raven hair falling against the violet hue of his eyes.
He has gauges, a sleepy smile, and oh my god he’s—
…gorgeous.
And not the curated, flex-for-attention kind of gorgeous you’ve learned to dodge. No. There’s something… approachable about him. Soft. Stupidly warm. Like if you sat beside him, he wouldn’t talk — he’d listen.
~ ♡ ︎ You’ve matched with Satoru Gojo! ♡ ︎ ~
...typing
Satoru: Did you know that the universe is 13.8 billion years old? There are billions of galaxies. Trillions of stars. And yet… here we are. Matched on a dating app.
Satoru: So… hi!
Satoru: Wanna test fate?
You: lol 😂
You: well then...
You: that’s one way to say hello!! 😝
Satoru: Yeah... figured I’d lead with existential dread instead of wyd 😉
He was... normal.
Stupidly normal. Maybe a bit nerdy.
But somehow? It worked. He made you smile.
...typing
Satoru: Okayokayokay... but REAL question...
Satoru: Do you pour milk before cereal??? 🤨 Or are you a functioning member of society?
You: 😨😨
You: excuse you!!
You: what kind of monster do you think i am??? 😒
Satoru: Phew 😩
Satoru: Just needed to be sure!! People have surprised me before
And just like that, you were hooked.
You talked while brushing your teeth. On your lunch break. In bed, half-asleep, phone screen dimmed but still open to his thread. He’s got opinions on everything.
Anime, horror movies, why candy canes are overrated, the superiority of old-school consoles, and the tragic fall of Yahoo Answers.
One day he asked:
...typing
Satoru: Are you more of a salty girl or a sweet girl?
You paused, halfway through folding laundry, holding one sock while you reach for your phone.
...typing
You: hmmm.....
You: are we talking snacks?? or personality type?
Satoru: 👀
Satoru: Well shit...
Satoru: Now I wanna know the answer to both...
You: hehehe 😇
You: what do YOU think i am?
Satoru: Oh, hell no...
Satoru: I’m not falling for that
Satoru: Bc if I guess wrong, you’ll never let me hear the end of it.
You: pshhh...
You: that response answers for me 😛
You: but hmm... i guess i’m both?
You: bc it depends on the day... OR the person.
Satoru: Okay cool
Satoru: Soooo... I’m either incredibly lucky, or you’re about to ruin my life in a really interesting way.
You: ruin you??
You: never!!
You: ...you're one of the few people i actually wanna be sweet to ❤️
Satoru: ❤️
Satoru: Guess it's a good thing that I'm a sweet guy 😉 both snack AND personality wise
Satoru: Which brings me back to the important question...
Satoru: Snacks
Satoru: Salty or sweet. Answer wisely, sweetheart.
You: hmm...
Satoru: This data could make or break us 🤨
You: imma salty kinda girl
Satoru: ...
You: but i don’t dislike sweet things! 😘
Satoru: Siiiiiigh...
Satoru: Fine. I respect it
Satoru: Even though it’s OBJECTIVELY the wrong answer 🙄 guess I’ll just have to be the sweet one in this relationship
Somehow, it never felt forced. You didn’t have to explain your jokes. You didn’t have to shrink yourself or play dumb or brace for silence. He got it. He got you. And he made you laugh — constantly. But more than that… he made you feel safe.
It was easy to forget you’d never seen him move. Never heard his laugh in real life.
Until you started calling each other.
What started as a five-minute “just wanted to hear your voice” spiraled into two hours. Then three. Now it’s just… what you do. The sound of his voice has become background music — familiar and warm, the kind of thing you could fall asleep to. Soft, a little raspy, warm around the edges when he laughs.
He talks fast when he gets excited — usually about Digimon lore, bad anime dubs, or some absurd theory he read online at 3 a.m. He jumps from tangent to tangent like he’s chasing thoughts through constellations — but somehow, never leaves you behind.
And when he’s really into something, you can hear it. His voice lifts like gravity can’t hold it.
“Hmm… if we were two particles traveling at the speed of light,” he murmured, “do you think we’d still find each other in another timeline?”
“Oh my god…” you smiled against your pillow; voice thick with sleep. “Is this your version of ‘Would you still love me if I was a worm’ Satoru?”
His laugh was soft and breathy, wrapping around your ribs like ribbon.
“Pshh… no,” he scoffed, and you could hear the pout in his voice as he shuffled against his own bedsheets. Then, with a huff he drawled. “This is my scientifically superior version of that question.”
“Mmm… I see,” your hum was sleepy, curling deeper under the blanket. Grinning, your eyes fluttered closed as you murmured. “Yes. I think we would”
A comfortable silence settled, and you could hear the line crackle softly as he exhaled.
“I wish…” he said after a beat, “…we could spend Christmas together. It’s not fair you’re so far away.”
His voice was quiet, like he was afraid to say it too loud. And somehow, it landed harder than any confession. You pressed your ear closer to the phone, like maybe, if you try hard enough, you’ll feel the weight of him on the mattress beside you.
“Yeah…” you whispered. “Me too.”
You’d been talking to Satoru for a month now — and honestly, every other man you come across can’t hold a candle to him. So, when Mei Mei saunters to your desk December 1st, silk blouse pristine and judgment already locked and loaded, you know she’s not going to like what she finds.
“It’s officially December, my dear,” she hums, lowering herself into the chair across from you, tilting her head in that familiar, patronizing way. “So. Where are my lines?”
Your fingers still over the keyboard. Time to come clean.
“I know, I know…” you say, rubbing at your temples before finally looking up. Your heart thumps harder than it should. “And… don’t be mad. But… just hear me out. What if this year… I don’t write about heartbreak?”
It’s like you might as well have told her you quit. The silence is deafening while she blinks at you, deadpan — like you’ve grown a second head.
“Darling,” she says coolly, with a bitter laugh. “Christmas is in three weeks. I don’t need pleasantries — I need pain.”
“But that’s just it, isn’t it?” you push gently, sitting a little straighter in your chair. “Christmas is supposed to feel… good. Warm. Like something you lean into, not brace yourself against.” You gesture vaguely toward the window, the gray sky.
You’ve always been alone for the holidays. No family. No one asking when you’ll be home.
“I mean… people are… tired. Stressed. Lonely. The world already feels cold enough without another reminder that love is awful. Right?”
Mei scoffs, flipping her hair over one shoulder, repulsed by the suggestion. “That mushy shit doesn’t sell…” And her eyes sharpen, flicking back to you. “You sound dangerously sentimental. Very unlike you, darling.”
Your mouth opens. Closes.
Little does she know… this is you. Or at least, the you that’s been kept hidden your entire career — doing something that feels so… empty. You’re tired. Tired of pretending that love is dead. For once, you want to believe in it. Believe that all this with Satoru — the potential for love — could be real.
“…I met someone.”
That gives her pause.
“Oh?”
Her snobbish tone is hard to ignore, but you don’t let it diminish the excitement you feel from the thought of him.
Satoru.
“Yeah… he’s—” you begin with a breathless laugh, tucking your chin into your palm like it might hide your grin. “Ugh. He’s good, Mei. Like… really fucking good. Funny… smart… thoughtful…”
But Mei’s sculpted brow arches as you continue to gush.
“Ohmygod and so handsome too,” you breathe, face lighting up. “Like. It’s unfair how good-looking he is, I swear. Plus, he remembers the little things I say, and he always checks in when I’ve had a rough day. It’s like…” you pause, breath catching as your heart aches with longing.
“It’s like… he sees me, Mei.”
At that, a knowing hum rumbles through your boss.
“I see…” she nods, lips tugging upward. “Well. Can you show me a picture, then?”
“Oh, sure!” you chirp, already digging for your phone in your bag. Your heart flutters at the sight of his photo, and after navigating to his profile, you hand the device over to her.
Her eyes narrow, then flick back to you. “This guy is in Japan…” and you can already hear it, that condescending tone, syrupy sweet. “I wonder… have you seen him yet?”
“W-What?” you blink, crossing your arms, instantly on guard. “Well… no. But it’s a sixteen-hour time difference! It’s hard to line up video calls, but we talk all the time and—”
“Mm.” That’s all she needs. She’s handing the phone back with a noise you’d describe as infuriatingly smug. “No way he’s that perfect,” she says, already rising to her feet. “I bet he’s catfishing you.”
Your heart drops.
God. That’d be just your luck.
“What?! N-No!” you argue, unwilling to entertain the idea. “It’s real, Mei. He’s real.”
“Mmm. So is Santa Claus~”
You scoff, brows furrowing.
“No, seriously. He said he wanted to spend Christmas with me. I was actually thinking of surprising him — flying out and —”
“Oh, that sounds wonderful,” she interrupts, saccharine and sharp. “Flying to Japan? To meet a man you’ve never met?” a loud pompous laugh bursts out of her lips, making your blood boil. “Ahhh… what a story! I expect lines, my dear~”
And as her heels are clicking away, you glare after her, cheeks hot, heart thudding with equal parts embarrassment and fury.
That… bitch.
Fine. You’re going to prove her wrong.
You must.
It hadn’t taken much convincing to get Satoru’s address.
You told him you wanted to send a Christmas present. He teased you, of course.
“A present? For little old me?” he drawled. “Awh… what is it? Is it scandalous? Oh!! Is it Digimon related??” You could practically hear the grin in his voice. And sure enough, a minute later, he sent his address with a laughing “Fine. But only if it’s Digimon-related, sweetheart.”
Little does he know…
It’s you you’re sending.
(Though yes, he’s still getting something Digimon-related too. You spent two weeks hand-knitting a Gabumon scarf hat — complete with floppy ears, tiny claws, and a ridiculous little horn. It’s absolutely absurd. You hope he’ll love it.)
Kyoto is blanketed in snow when you land — your breath visible in the air as you drag your suitcase outside the airport, gloved fingers fumbling with your phone. You manage to request a car (thank god for global apps), but the second the driver steps out and starts speaking rapid-fire Japanese, your brain goes static.
“Uh…. sumimasen?”
It’s the only word you know that seems remotely polite. That, and arigatou. Oh, and you know, baka, (thanks to Satoru’s anime rants about how “sub is superior to dub.” He swears by it, so naturally, you’ve started watching anime. In sub. Maybe because it feels like holding onto a piece of him.)
As you enter the car, you press your face to the frosty window and Kyoto whirls past — ancient shrines nestled between sleek buildings, power lines framed by snow-laced branches, vending machines glowing like beacons in the dark. The city is beautiful. Foreign. Dreamlike.
But then, the car pulls up to his house — and suddenly, you’re the one who feels foreign.
Because what the hell.
The place is huge.
It’s walled off with an iron gate, and a winding stone path leading up to a home that looks like a cross between a modern compound and a high-end ryokan. He’d told you his family was well off, but you didn’t realize well off meant a fucking dynasty.
Great. Now you’re standing here with your thrifted suitcase, the handmade gift for him, wrapped in a flimsy bag, wearing your own knitted scarf and a coat you borrowed from your roommate because your own has a busted zipper. You’re suddenly hyper-aware of every chipped nail, every dollar you don’t have in your bank account.
God. What are you even doing here? This man seems ever more too good to be true. What if he’s playing you? What if… Mei’s right. Does he even want you? What’ll he do when he sees you? What’ll he say?
Fuck.
You take a deep breath, tugging your scarf a little higher, gripping his present like a lifeline. It’s fine. Whatever. You came all this way. No turning back now, right?
When you ring the doorbell, a faint chime echoes inside the estate. The air bites at your cheeks while voices murmur on the other side. Footsteps near the entrance and then—
Click!
The shoji slides open. You’re grinning nervously — heart hammering in your chest, steadying yourself as a figure comes into sight. A figure whom is—
A woman.
“えっ…誰？何かご用ですか？”
She stands with one hand on the frame, backlit by the warm glow of the house behind her. Dark hair pulled into a lazy bun, a cigarette balanced between two fingers, smoke curling lazily into the night air. She’s tall. Cool. Effortlessly poised in a way you’ve never been. And she looks… young. Maybe your age.
Mei’s laugh is echoing in your goddamn ears.
Double fuck…
Did Satoru lie? Is this his girlfriend? His wife? A casual fling he forgot to mention? God. Is this why he never video chatted you?
It feels like a kick to the chest.
What the hell were you thinking?? Flying across the world for a guy you’ve never met in person?!
“ちょっと、聞こえてる？”
She’s still looking at you, head tilted slightly, eyes narrowed with vague curiosity — and you realize with a jolt you haven’t said anything. Not a word.
“Oh! I—uh—sumimasen?” you stammer, fumbling with the little Japanese you know. “S-Sorry, I… I don’t speak Japanese,” you laugh, awkward and breathless. “I think I have the wrong house, though. I was looking for someone named Satoru but—” with a glance past her, you try not to look desperate.
God. You’re such an idiot.
“Uhhh… never mind,” and clutching your suitcase, you attempt to retreat. “I’m so sorry. This was a mistake.”
Though her hand shoots out, catching your sleeve.
“Oh. Satoru? That idiot?” she says casually, in English this time — voice smooth, tinged with amusement. She flicks ash off the edge of the porch. “Yeah, you’re at the right house. He’s just at the FamilyMart with Yuji right now. Craving strawberry shortcake, apparently.”
As your brain begins to short-circuit, she takes one last drag of her cigarette, then steps aside, gesturing toward the entryway.
“C’mon. You’ll freeze your ass off.”
“Oiii,” Shoko calls. “We have a guest, guys! Say hello to—oh, um… sorry, what’s your name again?”
Before you know it, you’re stepping inside – toeing off your shoes at the entrance. Your feet pad against the tatami as you round the corner, and you’re greeted with a group of three other men sitting casually around a low table, with an abundance of snacks at the center.
Though, despite how laid-back the room appears, with pillows and drinks and half opened bags – there’s an underlying tension so thick, you swear it could cut glass.
They’re all staring at you with stone faces.
One man is blonde, with a chiseled jawline and a stern demeaner. Another has bubblegum-pink hair and tattoos crawling up both arms, and the third is a teenager with messy black hair who looks like he’d rather be literally anywhere else.
Are these Satoru’s… friends? Family? He’s never mentioned them before.
Shoko takes another drag from her cigarette, unfazed. “I’m Shoko, by the way,” she says lazily, exhaling smoke toward the ceiling. “Known Satoru for years. Unfortunately.” She smirks. “This is Kento, Sukuna, and Megumi.”
“H-Hello…” you murmur, gripping the handle of your suitcase as you hold a tight, nervous smile. “Nice to meet you. Sorry for… dropping in like this. I just flew in from America and… I was hoping that — well, Satoru would be here?”
“Gojo?” Sukuna gruffs, leaning back on one elbow. He plucks a piece of pocky from the snack tray and chews it without breaking eye contact. “And who the fuck are you supposed to be? His secret girlfriend or somethin’?”
The words hits harder than it should.
Girlfriend? Secret?
God, what are you to him?
And now, it dawns on you that they haven’t a clue who you are either. Of course, they don’t. Why would they?
You feel your cheeks heat. “O-oh, no. No, it’s not like that,” you say quickly, waving your hand like it’ll brush the embarrassment away. “I mean… we talk. We’ve been talking. But—”
You trail off and they’re all looking at you with raised brows.
“We don’t have a label or anything. We’re just… friends.”
“Friends?” Sukuna perks up, grin widening. “So lemme get this straight. You flew twelve hours across the globe for that pretentious dick?” He scoffs. “And he hasn’t even put a label on you?”
There’s something dangerously amused in his tone now, and he tosses the half-eaten pocky stick back onto the tray.
“Damn. Lucky bastard.”
You blink, unsure whether to feel insulted or embarrassed or both.
"Don’t you worry sweet thing. You decide to stay and I can show ya how a real man can take care of ya, hm?"
Kento shifts, cutting him a glance. “Sukuna…”
“What?” he says, raising both hands innocently. “This girl is hot as fuck. And I’m just saying — if it were me? I’d at least make sure she knew what she was walking into. Or out of. I'm not like that asshole.”
You blink again.
Is he… hitting on you?
“Great... here we go…” Megumi mutters.
And Kento sighs, removing his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose. “Please ignore him,” he tells you, voice calm but firm. “Everything is a pissing contest with Gojo where he’s concerned.”
“Okay, first of all — fuck you,” Sukuna snaps, sitting up straighter now, suddenly defensive. “It’s not about competition. I’m just not blind. Look at her!”
You blush subtly, and Megumi mutters, barely glancing up.
“Don't take him seriously... trust me. He says that. But every time Gojo brings a fangirl around, he's always trying to take her home like it’s a fucking game.”
...fangirl?
The word slams into your chest like a hammer. Is that what they think you are? You stiffen, heart dropping. Because that proves it. You shouldn’t be here. Of course someone like him would get dozens of women throwing themselves at him.
What made you think you were any different?
You shouldn’t have come.
“I-I’m sorry,” you whisper, grip tightening around the suitcase as you fumble to gather your things. “I shouldn’t have… I didn’t mean to barge in. I’ll just—”
And bowing your head, you spin on your heel, until suddenly you collide into someone. But it all happens so quickly; you don’t register who. Because with a gasp, you stumble backwards, entirely focused on how your giftbag slipped from your grip, making Satoru’s scarf fall to the floor.
“W-What… what are you doing here?!”
“Shit, I’m sorry.”
'Sorry' must be your go to word tonight. You’re too embarrassed to look up and see more of Satoru’s friends judging you. You’re dropping on your knees, scrambling to gather things with shaking hands mumbling under your breath.
“I’m leaving now… god, I shouldn’t have come. Please don’t tell Satoru I was—"
“WHOA, is that Gabumon?!” a new voice exclaims, bright with curiosity. “Hey Gojo, who’s this?”
At the mention of his name, you freeze.
Your head slowly lifts, eyes tracing up to catch sight of another pink-haired boy, peeking out from behind the man directly in front of you.
But… the man doesn’t look like Satoru. Not the Satoru you’ve come to know.
No. He has snowy-white tousled hair, tucked beneath a beanie, with bright blue eyes, blinking behind thick-rimmed glasses.
Nothing like his profile pictures.
“Satoru?” you breathe.
His mouth parts, speechless while he’s looking at you like you’re a ghost.
“Dude, that’s so cool! Did you make that?” Yuji asks, eyes sparkling. “Gojo she’s a keeper, huh?”
“Mmm… clearly.” Nanami glances over. “Because since when do you let girls know you like Digimon?”
“About damn time,” Shoko snorts, already lighting another cigarette like this is the most amusing thing she’s seen all week.
“And, she flew here for you,” Sukuna laughs from the back, sounding far too smug for someone uninvolved. “Shit, I’ll marry her if you don’t, asshole.”
The voices layer over each other — praise, laughter, awe. But it’s too bright, too loud, and you’re frozen in the middle of it. Feeling completely detached from reality while the blatant truth stands directly in front of you.
He lied.
And the worst part? You believed him. You came all this way. Mei Mei was right.
Love is dead.
“Um, actually. I—I left something outside,” you blurt, shoving the scarf back in the bag and clutching it to your chest, blinking back the tears. “Excuse me a moment.”
And before anyone can stop you, you’re slipping past them — out the door, out of breath — your chest aching with something you can’t yet name. While behind you, footsteps follow as he calls your name.
“Wait—shit. Wait!”
Satoru knows he fucked up. And by the time he barrels out the front door, you’re already halfway down the street, boots crunching through the snow like you’re marching to war.
He feels like a grade A idiot. Because somehow, against all odds, you — this ridiculously perfect girl — came all the way to Japan thinking he was someone worth showing up for.
And now he’s watching you walk away.
“Waitwaitwaitwait…” he groans, jogging after you, breath puffing white in the air. “Slow down and just… can you just—fuck. Just stop for a second?!”
“Stop?!” You whirl around, eyes wet and furious. “Why should I? Who the fuck even are you? What kind of psycho catfishes someone for months and then just lies to their face?!”
He blinks, defensive instinct kicking in before his brain can catch up.
“W‑Well—what kind of psycho flies across the country and shows up on someone’s front lawn?” he fires back, hands flailing. “In Japan, might I add!”
A bitter scoff tears out of you. “You said—and I quote—‘I wish you were here with me for Christmas,’” your arms fold tight across your chest like you’re holding yourself together. “Why the hell would you say that if you didn’t mean it?”
He backpedals immediately. Because fuck — he did mean it. Every late‑night call. Every laugh. Every stupid wish whispered into the dark.
But instead of admitting that, panic takes over.
“L‑Look—that’s just—something people say, okay?” he rambles. “Like… ‘your baby’s so cute,’ or—um— ‘my diet starts tomorrow,’ or—”
He’s waving his hand, scrambling for humor — something to soften it — but the words die on his lips when he sees your face drop. You blink hard, like something inside you just broke. And the sight of it makes his stomach twist into knots.
Great. Now he feels like even more of an asshole.
“Shit… okay,” he blurts, voice softer now. “That was... yeah. Um. That was a dick move. I know...”
“Fuck you…” you mutter, turning back around.
“Hold up! Please… just come inside, yeah? We can talk it out. If you'll just let me explain—"
“I don’t want to talk to you. Ever again.”
He can hear the hurt underneath the edge of your voice, and he stands there, watching you trudge through the snow – your figure getting smaller against the snow-washed street. He knows there is no salvaging this. He fucked it up. But still… reality slams into him all at once.
You don’t speak the language.
You don’t know the city.
You don’t have a car.
Fuck. Do you even have anywhere to go?
“Fuckfuckfuckfuck… fuck!” he breathes, running a hand through his hair as he begins to jog back toward the house, bursting through the door.
“Guys, I’ll be right back!” he shouts to no one in particular as he grabs his keys off the counter, hands shaking. “She left something at the airport!”
Then, he’s gone again. Chasing the only girl who ever made him feel seen.
It’s cold. Too cold for someone with no plan and no fucking clue where you’re going. But the cold doesn’t sting as much as your heart does.
You don’t even know how far you’ve walked. Five minutes? Ten? Your fingers are numb, your phone battery is nearly dead, and your boots are soaked through.
By pure luck, you stumbled into some sort of Japanese bar. And the kanji on the glowing sign outside might as well be ancient runes, but the warmth spilling through the door felt like something close to safety. Like maybe if you just stepped inside, you’d stop feeling so fucking alone.
Because hey, at least the sake tastes good.
You have no Wi-Fi, no plan, not a single ounce of pride left. All you have is the stupid hope that maybe if you drown yourself in enough of this bitter rice wine, it’ll burn the ache out of your chest.
The edges of the bar blur slightly. Everything’s warm and loud. Someone’s laughing too hard in the corner. Across the room, beyond the haze, there’s a man with a dark bun and violet eyes, sipping from a bottle with his head tilted back.
Beautiful.
Almost like…
The photos on Satoru’s profile?
Are you delusional? Drunk? No... that is him. Right??
You’re blinking through the blur, trying to make sense of it. But then? The room begins to spin and sure enough, nausea hits.
“Shit—” you whisper, grabbing the edge of the bar.
You’re pushing off your stool, stumbling outside the icy curb, before you double over and hurl into the snowbank.
Great. Fucking perfect. Can this day get any worse?
“Hey—hey! There you are!”
Oh, yeah. It can.
Tires crunch as a car jerks to a stop beside the curb. The door flies open, left swinging in the cold and Satoru rushes out, barely remembering to throw the gear into park before he’s crossing to you, boots skidding slightly on slush.
“Jesus—fuck. Are you okay?” he drops beside you, crouching low. “What the hell happened—”
“Don’t touch me,” you snap, pushing at him weakly while your body sways. He pulls back like you burned him.
“I’m fffine,” you slur, though your stomach still churns and your face is damp with cold sweat. “Gooo away.”
He sighs, exasperated.
“You’re not fine. You’re pale and shaking and—wait. Are you… drunk?” He exhales, brushing his hand through his hair like he’s trying not to lose it. “Come on. Let me take you home.”
“Home?” you laugh, bitter and sharp, scoffing as you shove at him again. “You mean your home?”
“No. I meant… wherever you’re safe. I just—can we not do this right now? Please?”
You snort, head lolling as you stare at the ground. “You’re a liarrrr,” you mutter, voice thick and sloppy. “Jus’ like everyone else.”
The words land heavier than he expects. Wind howls between you, carrying the smell of snow and alcohol and regret. Satoru opens his mouth—closes it. For once, he doesn’t have a smart comeback.
“I’m gonna stay right here,” you announce suddenly, sliding down until your back hits the wall. You cross your arms, chin lifting like it’s some kind of moral victory. “I don’t need you.”
“…in the snow?” he asks flatly.
“Yup,” you nod, blinking too hard. “Maybe I’ll meet someone who doesn’t lie for fun.”
“Jesus, woman—” he drags a hand down his face. “You’re in a foreign country. You don’t speak the language. You’re drunk off your ass. I’m not just gonna abandon you in an alley behind a bar you can’t even read the name of!”
“Pffft... well I liiike this bar,” you say bitterly, voice cracking. “S'greeat. They poured the sake fast. And nobody lied to me.”
Every time you say it, it hurts him even more. Satoru exhales hard, pacing a few steps like if he stops moving, he might actually lose it. But when he turns back, ready with another argument — another plea — he freezes.
Because you’re... crying.
Not quiet tears. Not dignified ones. Ugly, shaking sobs that pull from somewhere deep in your chest, shoulders hitching as you scrub at your face with the sleeve of your coat.
“I hate you,” you mutter, voice wrecked.
His chest tightens. He doesn’t know what to do with that. With this.
“I really liked you,” you continue, words tumbling out now, unstoppable. “Like—really liked you. I don’t do this. I don’t fly across the world for people. I don’t—” you hiccup, laughing wetly through the tears. “S'bullshit…” you mutter bitterly.
He blinks, lips pressing in a thin line like he’s unsure what to say. The cold wind blows as you sniffle.
“Plus… you’re hot as fuck. I don’t get it. Like… you didn’t even need to lie…”
You mutter, shifting in the snow. And that one makes him flinch.
“S’stupid… you could’ve jus' been you,” you say, gesturing vaguely at him. “But no. Instead you make up this whole fake version. Lying about everything. Liarrr. And now I can’t trust you. Betcha lied about liking me too, huh? All of it.“
He opens his mouth.
Nothing comes out.
Because that’s the cruel part.
He didn’t lie about everything.
He thinks of the way people’s eyes light up when they recognize his last name. The way conversations shift the second they realize he’s that Gojo. He thinks of years spent being wanted for the wrong reasons — money, status, face value.
And you’re the one person who ever made him feel like it’s okay for liking what he liked. The nerdy, cocky, compulsively sarcastic guy who collects Digimon cards and corrects Wikipedia entries in his spare time.
“Oh yeah… ya know who I saw in there?” you suddenly say, jerking your thumb toward the glowing doorway behind you. “That hot guy from yer pictures.”
Satoru stiffens.
“Uh… Suguru?”
“Oh,” you sniff. “So he’s a real guy?” You laugh again, hollow and dizzy. “Figures. Y’know what? He looks like he wouldn’t lie. Bet he’s honest. Bet he doesn’t make fake profiles and pretend to be someone else.”
You’re too drunk to notice the flinch in his jaw, the way he shifts his weight like the words physically hurt.
“Maybe I’ll go back in and see if he’ll take me home, huh?”
You try to shove off the wall and nearly trip again, but Satoru steadies you without thinking — hands warm and steady under your arms.
“Look…” he murmurs, voice gentler now. “I know you’re mad. And I deserve it. But I’m worried about you.”
His grip adjusts — one hand rising to gently cradle your elbow, the other slipping around to the small of your back as he lowers his head to meet your bleary, mascara-smudged eyes.
“It’s cold,” he says, voice pitched just above a whisper. “It’s late. You’re probably jet-lagged out of your mind. Just… come back to the house with me, alright? Sleep it off. And if you still hate me in the morning—fine. I’ll even help you hook up with Suguru… if you want.”
Your head jerks back slightly, eyes narrowing. “W-What?” You squint at him, breath curling white between you. “Seriously?”
He shrugs with the ghost of a smile, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I mean, me and him used to be friends. I’m your best bet.”
“That’s insane,” you mutter.
“I’m aware,” he says dryly. Then, more cautiously: “All I’m asking is that you pretend to be my girlfriend. Just until Christmas is over.”
You scoff, half stumbling again as you try to push away from him. “Why the hell would I do that?”
He hesitates. Then breathes out through his nose, gaze flicking away for a second.
“Because… you saw how excited my friends were to meet you. I don’t have a great relationship with my family, okay? Those guys… they’re all I have. I’ve spent holidays alone more years than I haven’t.” His voice cracks a little, just a hair. “I don’t wanna ruin this one… please?”
Something in your expression softens. It hits you all at once, stupid and sharp: how close he is. How blue his eyes are. Maybe it’s the crack in his voice, or the tired honesty in his face, or the fact that for the first time tonight, he doesn’t look like a liar. He just looks… sad.
“…okay,” you whisper. “Fine. Let’s just… go.”
But when you step forward, you falter slightly, ankle twisting in the snow, and he moves without hesitation — an arm looping under yours, the other bracing your elbow as he helps you upright.
“Shit—okay. Easy, sweetheart. I got you,” he murmurs, adjusting his grip.
And maybe it’s the alcohol, or the heartbreak, or the fact that your guard’s been sanded down to nothing. But for a second? You let yourself lean into him. Just a little. Just enough.
He guides you carefully toward the car. The passenger door creaks open. He ducks down to guide you in, one hand braced above your head so you don’t hit it on the frame. His other hand lingers at your lower back. You glance up at him in the doorway.
“Do you… really think Suguru would like me?”
There’s a flicker in his expression. Then a tight smile.
“I think… he’d be lucky if he did.”
You frown, unsure how to read that. But you don’t press.
He closes the door behind you, gently. And as he rounds the car to take his seat, you rest your head against the window — watching snow dust the windshield like ash.
It’s going to be a long Christmas.
The drive home was quiet. When Satoru glanced through the rearview mirror, he realized you were out cold before he even hit the second red light. Your head was tilted against the window, lips slightly parted, breathing deep and even.
You looked impossibly beautiful.
By the time he pulled into the driveway, the snow picked up again, soft and powdery in the glow of the porch light. Satoru kills the engine and glances at you one more time.
“Hey… uh. We’re here?”
But you don’t wake. And honestly, he can’t find it in his heart to wake you himself. So instead, he sighs, “C’mon, sleeping beauty…” climbing out and circling the car. “Right… well. Up and at ‘em.”
He lifts you gently, bridal style. And your head lolls against his shoulder, warm breath ghosting across his collar. When he adjusts his grip, you snuggle closer, burrowing into the crook of his neck. And he tries to act like his brain wasn’t short-circuiting.
As he approaches the estate’s entrance, the door slides open before he can knock. Yuji stands there with a bag of chips in one hand and a soda in the other.
“Woah. Dude. She okay?”
“What?! Of course!” Satoru huffs. “She’s fine. Just—tired. Long flight. Jet lag hit her hard, y’know?”
Yuji nods solemnly. “RIP.”
Satoru rolls his eyes. “Move. Gotta put her to bed.”
Yuji moves. Nobody presses further. Satoru doesn’t stop in the hallway, just takes the stairs two at a time, heading straight for his room, nudging the door open with his foot while he eases you inside.
He lowers you onto the bed slowly, like you might break. Your coat bunches beneath you, and he hesitates — then gently shrugs it off your shoulders, exposing some of your bare skin. You murmur something incoherent, head rolling to the side.
“Shhh… time to get some rest, sweetheart…” he breathes. “Lay back for me, yeah?”
As you lay back, he slips your boots off next, one at a time, fingers brushing your ankles. And god, your feet are freezing.
But as he’s reaching for the blanket—
“Mmmph.”
Your hand fumbles blindly and finds his shirt, tugging him down with you. He stumbles forward slightly, one knee landing on the edge of the bed, catching himself on his palms as you tug him down. Your arms wrap loosely around his waist, burying your face into his chest.
“W-Woah—hey,” he breathes, voice cracking a little. “You’re—uh. Kinda clinging there, huh?”
You don’t answer. You just… sigh. Sleepy and content. He lies beside you, unsure where to put his hands, heart racing. You’re cold. He can feel the way you press into him, like he’s the warmest thing in the world. Your fingers bunch his shirt. Your nose nuzzles the fabric.
“Mm… s’toru…”
His heart flutters, and he knows you’ll probably hate him again in the morning, but he doesn’t move.
Because he likes the way you cling to him. Because he’s selfish. Because the girl he lied to for weeks is now curled up in his bed, face pressed to his ribs, saying his name like she’s dreamt it a hundred times.
So, he sleeps beside you that night. Pretending, just for now, that none of it was a lie.
‘I keep thinking… if this is what you’re like over the phone, what the hell am I gonna do if I ever see you in person?’
You’re dreaming again.
Of his voice — that voice. Warm and easy. The one that used to call you at midnight, laughing through the line like it was nothing, like you weren’t slowly losing your mind for a stranger you’d never met.
‘Cause… I really love talking to you. Might just get addicted to you, sweetheart.’
You sigh, stirring slightly against the warmth pressed to you. It’s a heavy, encompassing warmth – like you’ve been swaddled in sunlight and something sweet. There’s an arm draped languidly around your waist, and a thumb twitching against your lower back.
Dreaming.
“Mmph…”
Your thighs are warm, tangled, clinging to something… hard. You wiggle your hips as the rhythm of breathing ebbs and flows beneath you. And that movement makes a low, sleepy sound rumble against your chest.
“Fffuck…”
The groan isn’t innocent, and your brow furrows with a whimper as something firm twitches between your legs. Beginning to grow. A hand flexes at your back, and you instinctively press your thighs tighter, making him gasp.
“Unngh… b-baby…”
As your eyes flutter open, fluttering against his skin, you’re greeted with the slope of his throat, pale in the gray morning light. And the throbbing heat between your legs makes it undeniable now.
This isn’t a dream. This isn’t your bed. This isn’t your blanket. And your thighs are straddling Satoru’s hips with his morning wood right there and holy shit—
“S-Satoru?!”
You squeak. And his brow twitches, snowy lashes fluttering, lips parting on a sleepy inhale. When his hazy gaze focuses, you’re met with that blue. Bluer than the sky, bluer than anything should be this early in the goddamn morning.
But then, awareness sinks in, and he stutters. “H-Huh…?” gaze flicking down to the very compromising position you’re both in.
“Shit!” his voice cracks as you shove at his chest, face molten.
“Oh my god—why the hell are we sleeping together?!” you shriek, and he’s desperately trying to explain. “I—You—” he wheezes as you push his again. “Ow, okay, damn, don’t commit a felony! You literally pulled me into the bed when you were drunk. And then you passed out on top of me! I’m the victim here!”
Your hands are still on his chest, mid-push. But you stop. Breath catching. Eyes locking.
You stare at him.
He stares at you.
You both look down at his dick.
“…so,” he mutters, throat bobbing as his eyes flick back up to your face—very carefully avoiding your chest, failing miserably. “You, uh… gonna move?”
“R-Right!” your cheeks erupt in flames as you scramble off him like he’s on fire, nearly tripping over the bed. “Shit—sorry—I didn’t mean to…”
“No, it’s uh… fine. Totally fine.” He mumbles with an awkward laugh. “I mean… not that I’m complaining… but damn. If this is how you serve breakfast in America? I might need to move and—”
“Don’t.” You snap, making him freeze. “Don’t say that…”
Your arms are crossed as you stand, pressing your lips together tightly. His expression instantly drops, the humor fading. And god. You want to be mad at him. You should be mad.
But mostly?
Last night comes flashing back – your drunk, pathetic sob story. And really, you just feel… humiliated.
“You don’t get to make jokes right now,” your tone trembles as you try to hold it tight. “Not after last night. Not after I flew across the world for someone who doesn’t exist. For some who—” you trail off, failing to find words that don’t sound even more pathetic. And scoff. “God… I’m such an idiot…”
There’s a long pause. Satoru’s quiet, but then you hear him sigh.
“…you’re not. You’re not an idiot.”
Your eyes flick over as you watch him shift upright, pushing a hand through his messy hair. His expression softens, vibrant eyes dimming with a tenderness. And for once, it doesn’t feel like he’s reaching for some smartass line to soften to blow.
“I told you… I shouldn’t have lied. Okay? I know that…” he scratches the back of his head, knowing there’s no excuse he can give you that’ll make him sound any less pathetic. He exhales, pushing on. “Look… just stay until Christmas. Please? I’ll do everything I can to make it up to you. Even… hook you up with Suguru, like I said.”
He hesitates as he says it. But that’s what you want… right? After all, you expected him. You expected Suguru.
You blink, mouth parting as your conversation at the bar comes crashing back towards your foggy memory. You’d said it to spite him. You were drunk and stupid and humiliated, and you just wanted to wound him.
Because you liked him.
You really, really wanted it to be real.
Your mouth parts. You’re about to answer when your phone buzzes.
Mei: How’s Japan, darling? Is he real? I expect those lines~
You stare at the screen. Something twists in your chest — not quite a laugh, not quite a sob. And with a bitter smile, you tuck the phone away.
“Right…” you mutter, rubbing your arm nervously. “Uh… sure. I guess I’ll stay.”
a/n. hello my darlings. merry christmas, i hope you all are enjoying your holiday! i will have pt 2 out before the end of december, lmk if you wanna be tagged. this fic kinda gives me supermodel! gojo vibes? at least with the message it's exploring. hehe. anyways, love you all. thanks for reading 💖
part 2 >>>
summary: after mysteriously traveling to the past, y/n meets yeonjun—a boy she was never meant to love. bound by time and torn by fate, they fall for each other knowing their days are numbered.
warnings: grief, trauma, memory loss, mentions of death, emotional distress, hospital scenes, crying, found family, soulmates au.
notes: i recently watched the girl who leapt through time and, as someone who’s always been obsessed with the idea of time travel, i couldn’t stop thinking about it. it left me with that nostalgic ache only stories like that give. so i decided to write my own version of a time-travel romance, loosely inspired by the movie’s premise. i’ve also always had a soft spot for stories set in the late 80s or 90s—there’s something so emotionally raw about that era, so this felt like the perfect blend of everything i love. this fic is very dear to me. i hope it makes your heart ache in the best way.
wc: 19,6k💀💀💀
seoul, 2017.
your last year of high school. new city. new house. same mother.
you spend the entire afternoon unpacking. the house smells like fresh paint and floor polish. the sound of cars and distant sirens floats through the open window as you fold clothes into drawers and pull books out of boxes with quiet precision. your mother’s already out—work, of course.
it’s always work.
you’re halfway through arranging your bookshelf when you notice the small box, shoved at the very back of your closet.
it’s dusty, floral, and closed with a delicate pink ribbon, now faded and fraying at the edges. you pause, frown. you don’t remember packing anything like this.
you hesitate.
but curiosity wins.
you open it slowly, careful not to rip the ribbon. Inside: old letters, photos, movie tickets, and folded stationery that still smells faintly of perfume. you realize this isn’t yours. these are your mother’s things.
you sit down on the floor, cross-legged, and let yourself explore.
among the old documents, tucked inside a faded envelope yellowed by time, you found something unexpected—a marriage certificate.
the paper was brittle, edges frayed and stained with age, but the writing was still legible in parts. your mother’s name was printed clearly: choi nari, written in graceful hangul beside the box labeled bride. but your eyes were drawn to the space marked groom. the name there had been violently scratched out, covered in thick black ink, as if someone had been desperate to erase it.
you remembered, vaguely, a moment from your childhood—your mother once muttering that your father had changed his name to sever ties with his family, something about an inheritance, disapproval, a scandal she never fully explained. the only clue left on the torn paper was a partial surname at the bottom—just enough to read: “...bin.” the rest was lost. after his death, your mother had legally reclaimed her maiden name, kim, burying his memory under years of silence. but now, holding this document in your hands, the pieces began to tremble in your chest—uncertain, unresolved.
the letters are written in your mother’s neat cursive, signed with hearts. there are photos, grainy and sun-kissed, showing young faces in school uniforms laughing in courtyards, holding umbrellas in the rain, posing with peace signs.
you start flipping them, one by one. no names. just dates on the back.
until you find the last one.
it’s your mom. her hair is longer, parted and soft around her face. she’s wearing a high school uniform, standing with a boy slightly taller than her. his hands are clasped behind his back. they aren’t touching—but the tension between them feels real. tender. almost sacred.
you turn the photo over.
March 15th, 1991 – my first love, Choi Soobin.
your breath catches.
you read the name again.
choi soobin?
you’ve never heard that name before. not once. and your mother doesn’t just forget names—she erases them. just like your father. just like everything else.
you slide the picture back into the box, hands slightly trembling, and stash the whole thing deep in the back of your closet. you don’t throw it away. no—you’re not ready for that.
you want to ask her.
but you’ll wait for the right time.
one week later...
that night, you come home late from another day of school. it wasn’t terrible, just... lonely. your new classmates were polite but distant. you introduced yourself with a fake smile, laughed at the right moments. you’re good at pretending.
the place is quiet. too quiet.
dinner is quiet.
you sit at the kitchen island in an oversized hoodie, legs tucked up on the stool, hair still damp from the shower. a reheated bowl of rice and kimchi stew steams in front of you, but you’re not really hungry. you scoop at it absentmindedly as the soft glow of the television flickers across the small living room.
the news is on.
the anchor’s voice is calm, too calm for the words she’s saying.
"today marks the 25th anniversary of one of the country’s most devastating railway accidents... the train, traveling from seoul to incheon, derailed shortly in the afternoon, resulting in the death of all passengers aboard. rescue efforts lasted several days. one individual was never found."
your chopsticks freeze mid-air.
the image that flashes on screen—a twisted rail line, charred metal, grieving families—makes your stomach twist. you swallow hard, suddenly nauseous.
"how awful…" you whisper to yourself.
etched in the corner of the grainy footage was the date of the tragedy: november 12th, 1992.
a strange, unexplainable ache blooms in your chest. It lingers for a second too long.
you grab the remote.
click.
click again.
cartoons fill the screen—bright, loud, ridiculous. a character falls face-first into a pie. you force a laugh and shove a spoonful of rice into your mouth, but the food tastes like paper.
you pretend it’s fine.
you pretend everything is fine.
the door clicks open.
you turn your head.
your mother walks in, heels clicking softly against the hardwood floor, blouse crisp, makeup untouched despite the hour. she always looks like she’s heading into court—even at 9 p.m.
she doesn’t say hello.
she walks straight to the kitchen, opens the fridge, and pulls out the container of stew. you watch her in silence as she spoons food into a bowl and places it in the microwave, her back turned to you.
when she finally faces you, she raises one perfectly shaped eyebrow.
"what’s with the face?" she asks, blunt as always.
you blink, then smile nervously.
"i found something today. while unpacking."
her hands stop. just for a second.
"it was this box. really cute. floral. tied with a ribbon. it was buried in my stuff, but it wasn’t mine. i think it was yours."
you pause.
"there were letters… photos. one of them caught my eye. you were in your school uniform, next to this guy. you looked… happy. it had a date on the back. march 15th, 1991."
you smile, hesitant.
"it said… ‘my first love.’”
your mother straightens up slowly, staring at you with an expression you can’t read.
"you went through my things?"
"it was in my things. i thought it was mine at first, i just—"
"you shouldn't go through what isn't yours."
her voice is ice.
"you had no right to open that."
"it was in my room!"
"it wasn’t yours!"
"how was i supposed to know that?! i thought maybe it was something you left for me—god knows you never leave anything else.”
her expression hardens.
"don’t turn this into something it’s not."
"something it’s not?!" your voice breaks, raw and high. "you never talk about anything. not about your life. not about him. not about dad!"
that name hits like a bullet.
she turns her back to you, but it’s too late.
"i don’t remember him," you say, quieter now, but trembling. "i don’t remember his voice, his hands, his laugh. i don’t even know what it felt like to be held by him."
she doesn’t turn. she doesn’t move.
"i had to memorize his face from one picture—one, mom—before you threw it out like garbage!"
her fists clench on the counter, knuckles white.
"i did what i had to do."
"no. you did what was easier for you. you pushed everything down and shut me out with it."
she spins to face you, eyes wild now, cracking.
"what do you want me to say?! that i was broken?! that every day i woke up alone, wondering how to feed you, how to work, how to breathe while everything i loved was gone?!"
you flinch.
but you don’t back down.
"i didn’t ask you to be perfect. i just wanted a mother. not a robot. not a cold wall. just someone who gave a damn."
her lip trembles. she hides it behind a scoff.
"you think i don’t care?"
"you don’t act like it!"
the words cut, sharp and true.
"i needed you, mom. all these years, i needed someone to tell me it was okay to miss him. to miss you."
her eyes shine with something unsaid. something heavy. but she swallows it back down.
she always does.
"you shouldn’t have opened that box."
her voice is flat again. walls up. steel drawn.
you laugh bitterly.
"right. god forbid i see even a glimpse of who you used to be before you turned to stone."
you push the stool back with a screech and storm off toward your room, throat burning, chest hollow.
behind you, your mother stands frozen in the kitchen, bowl untouched, stew long gone cold.
the door slams shut behind you, the sound dull but heavy, like a sentence being passed.
you stand still for a moment, your hands still trembling, your heart in shambles after the fight with your mother. the entire house feels like it’s holding its breath, as if it too sensed that something inside you just broke… again.
you walk slowly to your room, dragging your feet, your chest aching with a pain that’s too familiar. you collapse onto your bed, not even crying at first—just lying there, staring at the ceiling, as if the cracks in the paint might give you some kind of answer.
why can’t she just talk to me? why does it feel like she hates me?
the questions pile up, pressing down on your chest until that lump in your throat finally bursts. the first tears fall quietly, warm against your cheeks. then more come, and more, until you're curled in on yourself, sobbing with that kind of grief that comes from years of swallowing it down.
you hear your own voice echoing back at you:
"i had to memorize his face from one picture—one, mom—before you threw it out like garbage!"
it still hurts. and it’s true. your father died shortly after you were born. you don’t remember him—his voice, his scent, the way he held you. nothing. your mother never wanted to talk about him, as if erasing him would protect her from the pain.
but it left you with an emptiness.
you wipe your face with your sleeve, eyes puffy, nose red, and sit up slowly. still shaking, you walk to your closet.
it’s there.
the box.
that wooden box with the delicate, girlish design, half-hidden among your things, like it’s been waiting for this very moment.
you hold it in your hands. It’s heavier than it looks. the surface is slightly warm, as if someone had touched it recently—like it has a heartbeat.
you kneel in front of the open closet. your clothes sway lightly on their hangers, as if a breeze had passed through… but there are no windows open.
then you feel it.
the air shifts.
it starts as a soft vibration, barely there, like the whisper of a memory. then the scent hits you: something floral, old, like perfume soaked into love letters tucked away for decades. goosebumps rise instantly across your skin.
you squint into the closet, through the folds of hanging fabric, and you see it.
light.
a faint golden shimmer, pulsing gently, like someone lit a candle behind the wall.
you step forward, the box still in your hands. your fingers, trembling, press against the doorframe. just as you open your mouth to speak—maybe to ask what’s happening—
a single tear falls from your cheek and lands on the box.
there’s no explosion. no lightning.
just a heartbeat.
loud.
deep.
like the whole world exhaling through your chest.
the air grows heavy. your vision warps, the room tilting, folding in on itself. the walls ripple like water disturbed. you grab the edge of the closet for balance, but your knees buckle. everything spins. the sound of your breath is swallowed by something bigger.
and then—
darkness.
the spring air carried that distinct scent of dust, freshly sharpened pencils, and the faint trace of someone’s perfume lingering in the hallways. the school buzzed with life—lockers slamming shut, giggles echoing down the corridor, chalk scraping across boards in classrooms behind closed doors.
you walked slowly, your fingers tightening around the straps of your bag. your school uniform felt unfamiliar against the skin, the pleated skirt too stiff, the blouse too crisp. you kept your head low, eyes scanning faces that looked like they belonged in old photo albums. everything around your screamed nostalgia—except it wasn’t nostalgic to you.
because somehow...
you were actually here.
in 1991.
the bell rang, signaling the end of second period. students poured out into the hallway, some dragging their friends by the arm, others glued to books or snacks from their lockers. you leaned against a wall, trying to breathe, trying to blend in—trying not to freak out.
that’s when you saw him.
he moved through the crowd like he wasn’t part of it. calm. unbothered. a little detached. he wore the same school uniform, but his shirt was slightly untucked, and the headphones resting around his neck gave him this effortless, rebel-cool aura. a soft beat leaked from his walkman. his features were sharp, perfectly carved, lips full and eyes that looked like they knew things they weren’t supposed to.
he stopped in front of you, holding a thick envelope in one hand.
"y/n, right?" he asked, voice low and smooth.
you blinked, nodding slowly, your brain still trying to keep up.
"this came from the main office," he said, offering her the envelope. "you're transfer paperwork, apparently."
before you could even respond, you blurted out:
"wait—do you know someone named choi soobin?"
his eyes twitched. his expression shifted—barely—but it was there. a flicker of something.
then, with the most unimpressed smirk, he rolled his eyes.
"oh great," he muttered under his breath. "another one of my cousin's admirers. they just keep coming."
and just like that, he turned and walked away, sliding the headphones back over his ears, music rising in volume as he vanished into the tide of students.
you clutched the envelope to you chest, heart pounding. you looked around, dazed, but no one was paying you any mind.
once you found an empty bench behind the old gym building, you sat and opened the envelope with trembling fingers. inside was more than just a transfer form.
there was a letter.
it was handwritten. neatly. carefully. and it read:
"if you’re reading this, it means you made it. welcome to 1991.
you’ll need to be careful from here on out. you cannot draw attention to yourself. do not talk about the future. do not ask too many questions. blend in. play your part.
Go to the boarding house owned by mrs. son after school. she’s expecting a new girl. room 3 is yours."
this is not random. you’re here for a reason. i will send more instructions soon.
don’t trust just anyone. and above all… be ready to make difficult choices. some things in the past are meant to stay broken. others… need to be fixed.
—a friend".
you stared at the letter, hands trembling.
what the hell was this?
why you?
what were you meant to fix?
you leaned back against the wall, looking up at the sky, your thoughts a chaotic mess.
your mind drifted to the photograph.
to her mother’s smile.
to the name: choi soobin.
and then… you eyes fell back on the letter.
was this real?
was this destiny?
your fingers brushed over the ink once more, and you whispered, almost to yourself:
"what am i supposed to change…?"
the final bell rings, and you stumble out of your last class like your brain’s just gone through a blender.
your head spins.
not just from the math formulas on the chalkboard or the endless chatter of your new classmates—but from the reality you still haven’t quite processed.
you’re in incheon. in 1991. in your mother’s freaking hometown.
the streets outside the school are buzzing with students. some run toward the corner shops for snacks, others grab their bikes, wave at friends, shout and laugh like nothing in the world has changed.
you, on the other hand, can barely keep your balance.
you blink slowly, your body moving on autopilot, trying to look casual, like you belong. but everything around you feels… off.
the way they talk.
the way they think.
the weird obsession with cassette tapes and soda in glass bottles.
even the smell in the air is different—less metal, more earth.
you’re overwhelmed. but you can’t fall apart yet.
you’ve got instructions. a destination.
you're still holding that damn envelope like it’s your last lifeline.
you turn a corner, heart pounding, and almost crash straight into someone.
“woah, again?”
it’s him.
the boy from earlier.
same walkman around his neck, same flawless face, same i-don’t-care energy wrapped in a school uniform that somehow fits him too well.
he eyes you with amused disbelief.
“are you seriously still carrying that?” he says, pointing to the envelope in your hands. “you’ve had that thing all day.”
you blink at him, still disoriented.
you have had it all day.
“i—i was going to read it again,” you mumble. “there’s an address. i’m supposed to go there but i don’t know how—”
“ugh,” he interrupts, sighing dramatically. “fine. lemme see it.”
you hand him the letter, fingers brushing his just for a second. his eyes skim the address, then glance back at you.
“i’ll take you. that place isn’t far.”
you exhale in relief, muttering a soft thank you.
you start walking together.
at first, it’s silent.
then the boy starts talking, throwing random comments into the air like confetti.
“you talk kinda weird, you know that?” you look at him. he’s not wrong.
you’ve spent all day trying not to sound futuristic. no slang. no weird expressions. no “lol”.
you force a smile.
“i’m not from here.”
“no kidding.”
“i mean—not from incheon.”
he raises a brow.
“then where?”
you scramble for a name and blurt out the most far-off place you can think of.
“ulleungdo.”
he stops walking and turns to look at you, blinking.
“ulleungdo? that island barely has electricity.”
you nod slowly, then force a cough like it explains everything.
“exactly. we’re... still catching up.”
he stares at you like you’re a walking mystery, then shakes his head and chuckles.
“makes sense. that explains why you look like you’ve never seen a vending machine before.”
you both keep walking.
for a second, the air is easier to breathe. almost normal.
but then, your mind slips—just for a second—and you ask:
“hey… who’s your cousin?”
he squints.
“what?”
“earlier. You said i was ‘another one in love with your cousin.’ who is he?”
you freeze mid-step. he walks two paces ahead before realizing you’re no longer beside him.
he turns around, eyes narrowing.
“why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”
you force a shaky laugh.
“no reason. just… remembering something.”
he looks at you for a long moment, then shrugs.
“whatever. just don’t ask me where he is. i’m not your tour guide to the ‘soobin fanclub.’”
you say nothing.
the letter in your hand suddenly feels heavier. like it’s burning.
you wonder what’s waiting for you in that house.
you wonder who wrote the letter.
you wonder if fate is playing games with you—or if this has always been the plan.
you walk the rest of the way in silence, the streets of incheon glowing in the golden haze of dusk.
and somewhere, deep down, something tells you: this is only the beginning.
the street narrows as you follow him down an alley of uneven cobblestones, the golden dusk pouring through the lattice of tangled telephone wires above. the neighborhood is quiet—older, slower than the city blocks around your school. the homes here wear age like a badge, wooden gates slightly weathered, tiled roofs sagging slightly under the weight of time. you pause outside a low two-story house with faded red shutters and a blue mailbox shaped like a cat.
the boy nods toward it.
“this is the place.”
you look at it, blinking in disbelief.
it’s not just any house.
it feels like a storybook. like someone reached into your memories and tried to replicate what “home” should’ve looked like.
the wooden gate creaks when he pushes it open, and before either of you can step forward, the front door swings wide with surprising force.
an old woman, short and sturdy with perfectly permed gray curls and dressed in a floral hanbok apron, stands in the doorway.
her face lights up when she sees you.
“ah! you must be mr. hong’s niece, where are you from, little girl?”
you freeze. then bow quickly, hands by your sides, trying to remember every etiquette lesson your mom ever mentioned about greeting elders in korea.
“yes, ma’am. that’s me, i am from ulleungdo"
mrs. son eyes you up and down, then lets out a soft chuckle.
“you’re awfully pretty for a country girl. and different. too polished. hm.” her eyes narrow. “still, you look good. very lovely, actually.”
you’re not sure whether to smile or feel insulted. was that a compliment? or just passive-aggressive commentary wrapped in lace?
you smile awkwardly and bow again.
“thank you…”
“anyway,” she continues, waving her hand, “someone dropped off your belongings this morning. they’re in your room already.”
your heart skips.
“my belongings?”
you glance at the boy, confused. he just shrugs, completely uninterested in the mystery.
but your mind races.
what belongings?
when you arrived here—wherever here even is—you had nothing. not even the clothes on your back, which had changed without you realizing.
before you can ask more, yeonjun steps back, hands shoved in his blazer pockets.
“well, i got you here. i’m out.”
“wait—!” you call out, stepping toward him.
he’s already at the gate, lifting it slightly so it doesn’t scrape. you rush after him, your shoes crunching on the gravel path.
“you never told me your name.”
he stops mid-step and turns, looking slightly amused.
“I didn’t?”
“no.” you reach for his arm gently, fingers brushing against his wrist. his skin is warm, his pulse quick beneath your fingertips.
yeonjun looks down at where you’re touching him. his eyebrows lift. a tiny smirk threatens the corner of his mouth, like he’s not used to girls being this forward—and definitely not ones who stare at him like you do.
“yeonjun” he said. “choi yeonjun"
you meet his eyes.
“thank you, yeonjun.”
it’s the way you say it. soft. sincere. like it matters.
he’s caught off guard, the confident, untouchable energy around him faltering for just a second. his mouth opens slightly, like he wants to say something, but then he shuts it again and just gives you a small nod.
“don’t get lost.”
and with that, he slips out the gate, turning the corner and disappearing into the fading light.
you’re left standing in the path, the sky streaked with orange and plum above you, a dusty breeze rustling the loose ends of your borrowed school uniform.
behind you, the house waits.
inside it, a room with your things. dropped off by someone who knows exactly where—and when—you are.
and somewhere, tucked inside your thoughts like a whisper you haven’t heard yet, a name echoes.
soobin.
the boy your mother once loved.
you exhale slowly and turn back toward the house.
the room is small but cozy, with warm wooden walls and a low ceiling that creaks softly under your footsteps. you close the door behind you, leaning against it for a second, your heart pounding—still not from the walk, but from everything. the entire day. the time jump. the unfamiliar warmth in yeonjun’s voice when he said your name. the letter burning a silent promise in your hands.
you glance at the small suitcase perched neatly at the foot of the futon bed. It looks old-fashioned—stitched leather with tarnished brass buckles and a handle that has seen better days. kneeling before it, you slowly open the latches, the sound loud in the quiet of the room.
inside, folded with surgical precision, are several sets of clothes.
your fingertips run across the fabrics: simple blouses, high-waisted pleated skirts, a pastel pink cardigan, a cream-colored sailor-style school uniform that looks almost identical to the ones you saw the other girls wearing today. everything smells faintly of lavender and time.
at the very bottom, nestled between a pair of plain flats and a pair of canvas shoes, you find a small envelope with your name written in neat, slanted hangul. you lift it gently, your breath hitching.
you sit on the edge of the bed, feeling the mattress dip beneath your weight, and unfold the letter.
the handwriting is delicate, old-fashioned. like someone took the time to write it with an ink pen, letting every word sink into the fibers of the paper.
"y/n,
you must be confused. stay calm. there is a reason you are here.
follow the instructions i send you. you are in the year 1991, in incheon—the city where your mother grew up. things are not as simple as they seem, but you mustn’t let anyone know the truth.
you will blend in. your belongings have been provided. more will come. every step you take will be guided.
do not ask questions you’re not ready to hear the answers to.
there are things in the past that need your presence.
be patient. be brave.
soon, i will ask you to change something.
until then… wait."
-H.
your hands tremble slightly as you finish reading.
a chill runs down your spine.
who wrote this? how did they know where you’d arrive? why do they speak like they’ve done this before?
you fold the letter slowly, slipping it back into the envelope. your mind reels, swimming with questions that claw at you from every direction. there’s no logic, no explanation. one moment you were crying in your closet, and the next… here. in a world you’ve only heard about from your mother’s fading stories, wrapped in decades-old nostalgia and distant memories.
you don’t realize how long you’ve sat there, dazed, until a voice calls out from downstairs.
“dinner time, girl! come eat before it gets cold!”
mrs. son’s voice, clear and commanding, startles you into motion. you rise, smoothing your borrowed skirt, tucking the letter under your pillow like a secret you’re not ready to share with even the walls.
When you step into the kitchen, you’re met with the scent of something savory, thick and warm and unfamiliar. the room is bathed in soft golden light from a low-hanging bulb, casting everything in a nostalgic glow. mrs. son stands behind a small wooden table, setting down bowls and plates with practiced ease.
you stare at the food, recognizing almost nothing but finding it all intoxicatingly fragrant. there’s bubbling jjigae, a perfectly round plate of jeon with scallions poking through the golden batter, neatly arranged namul side dishes, and a mound of rice that glistens as if each grain were kissed by steam.
“don’t just stand there like a scarecrow,” she chuckles, motioning for you to sit. “eat, girl. you need energy. you’re too pale.”
you sit slowly, murmuring a thank you, and begin to eat. the first spoonful of stew burns your tongue but floods your chest with warmth. each bite is an exploration, a memory you never lived tasting its way into your bloodstream.
between spoonfuls, mrs. son starts talking—not directly to you, but more like letting the stories she’s carried her whole life spill into the air.
“you remind me of someone, you know. a woman who stayed in this house years ago. pretty thing. big eyes like yours. she was in love.”
you look up, surprised.
“she fell for a sailor,” she continues, “a local boy with a wild laugh and a heart full of the sea. he promised her the world. even got her a ring. but…”
she pauses to sip her barley tea.
“…before they could marry, his boat went down. storm off the coast. they say he drowned. some say he never wanted to return and used the sea as an excuse.”
she smiles sadly.
“but i saw her every night on that porch, waiting. right up until winter took her away too.”
you set down your chopsticks, the story making your chest feel tight.
a part of you aches for this woman you’ve never met.
a part of you wonders if the sea has a habit of stealing men who promise forever.
you stare down at your bowl, your appetite gone.
nothing makes sense.
not the past.
not the stories.
not your own existence in this strange, beautiful fragment of time.
the only thing you know for sure is this:
you’re not here by accident.
and someone, somewhere, is watching.
the day was already strange enough.
the 90s school uniform felt tight in places it shouldn’t, your socks kept sliding down no matter how many times you pulled them up, and your ponytail was starting to come loose from all the running around trying to figure out where your classroom was. you were still trying to adjust to the rhythm of this strange new world — a world that smelled like chalk dust, cassette tapes, and kimchi stew floating through the hallways.
you were walking through the back courtyard of the school, holding a borrowed notebook to your chest, when you missed the curb.
you fell.
it wasn’t elegant.
you hit the concrete hard, knees and elbows scraping against the rough ground. your notebook flew a meter ahead, your bag tipped over, and just as you tried to push yourself up, a sudden gust of wind blew from behind. and just your luck — you were wearing the uniform skirt that flared out slightly when you walked.
now, it flared up.
wide. high. completely.
right in front of a boy.
not just any boy.
his eyes widened comically as he froze mid-step, staring for a split second — a dangerous, deadly split second — before whipping his head to the side, red creeping across his neck all the way to his ears. He stumbled back with his arms up as if you were pointing a gun at him.
you screamed.
“YAH! don’t just stand there like a pervert — HELP ME!”
your voice cracked from the sudden mix of pain, panic, and fury. the boy flinched as if slapped, then scrambled forward, offering a trembling hand.
“i–i wasn’t trying to see anything!” he stammered, clearly about to pass out from sheer embarrassment. “the wind—! it just—! i didn’t—!”
you ignored his babbling, more concerned with your burning face and aching knees. but as he helped you stand, you got a good look at his face. that face.
the perfectly shaped lips, the soft, clean skin, the dark brows, the long lashes casting shadows across his cheeks... and those eyes.
those exact eyes from the photo.
your mother’s photo.
it was him. choi soobin.
in the flesh. younger, alive, real.
you gasped.
he tilted his head. “are you okay? you look pale—”
before you could respond, a loud thud interrupted the moment.
a soccer ball came flying out of nowhere and hit soobin square in the face.
he made a startled sound before falling flat on his back.
you stared at his sprawled form on the ground. “what the hell—?!”
moments later, both of you sat side by side in the school infirmary. the scent of alcohol pads and ointment filled the air. you were perched on the edge of a stiff bed, rubbing antiseptic into your scraped knees, wincing each time it stung. beside you, soobin sat with tissues crammed up his nostrils, his head tilted back and a faint blush still clinging to his cheeks.
the nurse — a woman with overly plucked, razor-thin brows, blunt bangs curled under with all the strength of a hot iron, and lips lined in dark brown pencil — shook her head.
“thank goodness it’s not broken,” she sighed, inspecting soobin’s nose. “you boys with your sports… always causing accidents. and you”—she turned to you—“keep your skirt down next time, young lady. what do you think this is, a fashion show?”
you blinked, mouth falling open in disbelief.
this place… this time… these people.
it was like you had fallen into a very vivid, sometimes painful, sometimes embarrassing dream. and now, the boy from your mother’s past was sitting beside you, sniffling through a nosebleed.
and you still had no idea what you were doing here.
soobin blinked at you, still slightly dazed from the hit. his nose was no longer bleeding, but the tissue stuffed under his nostrils made him look even more like the schoolboy he was. you were about to say something—maybe thank him, maybe apologize, maybe ask if he was okay—when the infirmary door creaked open.
“bin!” came a familiar voice, far too loud for the sterile silence of the room.
yeonjun.
he stepped in with an armful of paper bags and small boxes—colorful wrappings, handwritten notes, tiny trinkets peeking through. gifts. you watched as he strutted over to soobin’s bed with an exasperated groan.
"seriously? you just got here and you’re already collecting fans again?” he teased, tossing one of the bags onto soobin’s lap. “what is it this time—handmade chocolates or love letters?”
soobin groaned and rolled his eyes, muttering something about it being a misunderstanding, but you weren’t listening anymore.
yeonjun had looked up. His eyes landed on yours. recognition flashed across his face like lightning.
“you—”
he didn’t finish. he just stood there, blinking, mouth slightly parted like the pieces of his memory were trying to click together.
you didn’t think. you just acted.
ignoring the sting of your scraped knees, you jumped off the bed. the linoleum was cold beneath your socks, but your voice came out warm, too bright, too casual.
"hey, um… yeonjun, right?” you said quickly, your cheeks heating under his stare. “do you want to grab something to eat or… i mean, you helped me earlier and i—well, i don’t know anyone else here.”
he looked confused at first, almost suspicious. then a grin tugged at the corner of his lips. “you sure? you're not gonna faint on me or something?”
you laughed, awkward and real. “i’ll try not to.”
he shrugged. “fine. you’re lucky i’m hungry too.”
so the two of you walked out of the infirmary side by side. the late afternoon light spilled down the corridor in golden streaks, warming the tile beneath your feet. the air smelled faintly of antiseptic and school uniforms.
you were just about to ask him where he thought you could find something sweet from a local bakery when—
click. click. click.
footsteps. fast. familiar.
you turned at the sound, heart stuttering. your eyes caught a silhouette at the end of the hallway, the light from the windows casting her in soft profile.
it was her.
your mother.
but not as you knew her.
she was younger. smaller. her hair was long and tied half-up with a little bow. she wore the school uniform, the same one you had seen in the photograph. she didn’t look like a stern, cold lawyer. she looked like a girl.
she giggled. and then you heard his laugh.
soobin’s.
they stepped into the infirmary together, talking—laughing. you couldn’t hear the words, just the sounds, but it was enough to send a strange ache through your chest.
you had never heard her laugh like that before.
not in your life.
not once.
and in that moment, as yeonjun rambled beside you about the best tteokbokki stand near the school gates, you couldn't even process a word.
your stomach twisted.
your mother. soobin. that laugh. that moment.
and you—
you were caught between two worlds.
the red broth bubbled quietly in the small metal pot between you. the scent of chili, garlic, and sweetness filled the air as you leaned over the table, watching the glistening rice cakes dance in the simmering sauce. yeonjun, sitting across from you in his white school shirt with the sleeves rolled up, poked at one of them with a wooden skewer and raised his brow at you.
“you ever tried tteokbokki before?” he asked, eyes flickering with curiosity as he blew softly on the piece.
you shook your head, almost too eagerly. “not like this,” you murmured after the first bite, eyes widening. the heat was perfect, the chewiness addictive, and the flavor—intense but somehow comforting. “god… it's actually good. like really good. everything back in my—” you caught yourself, heartbeat spiking, “—my time is just so artificial and bland. like, processed. rancid, almost.”
yeonjun tilted his head, mouth halfway open with the next bite. “your time?” he echoed, blinking slowly, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.
your breath caught in your throat. shit.
“i mean—my town! my town,” you laughed, too quickly, waving your hands. “back in my town. it's really rural and… old-fashioned, i guess? i’ve been studying a lot of history too for exams. i read so much about the different historical eras, i think the word ‘time’ just slipped in.” you forced another laugh and stuffed your mouth with a rice cake, cheeks burning.
yeonjun stared for a second longer than was comfortable, and then snorted. “you’re weird,” he muttered around his own bite, though his lips curled into a faint smile. “but you’ve got a point. food tastes better before the big corporations mess it up.”
you nodded quickly, relieved at the shift. the tension melted a bit between the spice and the conversation, the kind that warms not just your stomach but something deeper—something that makes the loneliness of waking up in the wrong decade feel just a little less heavy.
as you sat across from yeonjun, the last few pieces of tteokbokki slowly disappeared from the pot. the spicy warmth lingered on your lips, but your mind was far from the food. you couldn’t stop replaying that scene in your head—your mother’s laughter, sweet and girlish, echoing behind the infirmary doors. and beside her, soobin, smiling back like they were already familiar with each other.
you chewed slowly, lost in thought, until the question slipped out before you could stop it.
“what’s soobin like?”
yeonjun looked up sharply, brow raised, a teasing smirk forming on his lips. “oh? so now we’re talking about him?”
you blinked. “no, no—it’s not like that.”
“right,” he said, drawing the word out, clearly not believing you. “let me guess—you’re using me to get close to him?”
your jaw dropped. “what? no! It’s not even for me.” you scrambled for an excuse, mind racing. “it’s for… my friend. she’s interested in him. but she doesn’t really know how to approach him. so i was just curious. you know… to help her.”
you nodded quickly, trying to keep your face neutral. “yeah. she’s… shy.”
he squinted, eyes narrowing like he was trying to read through your soul. “well, if you want the truth… he’s a total playboy,” he said with a completely serious expression.
your heart dropped. “really?”
yeonjun burst out laughing, almost choking on his soda. “god, you’re so gullible.”
you glared at him, cheeks heating up. “you’re such a jerk.”
he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, still grinning. “no, seriously. he’s just a normal guy. chill, kind of awkward sometimes, but popular. everyone likes him. probably because of his face,” he added with a playful grimace. “also… his parents are loaded. like, seriously old money. but he doesn’t act stuck up about it or anything.”
you nodded slowly, absorbing every word. soobin… a boy born in privilege, admired by many, and yet—somehow—your mother had laughed beside him like they shared something deeper. you stared down at your drink, the fizz catching the light.
if soobin was already so adored… did that mean your mother had been one of his admirers too?
a strange ache bloomed in your chest, something between curiosity and dread.
you twirled a piece of tteokbokki with your chopsticks, still digesting everything yeonjun had said about soobin. the conversation had taken a strange turn, light and teasing at first—but your mind couldn’t let go of something he’d just casually mentioned.
“if soobin’s parents are rich,” you started, voice careful, “and they’re your uncles… then your parents must be rich too, right?”
the moment the question left your mouth, you felt the air shift. yeonjun's expression changed—subtle, but impossible to miss. his gaze dropped to the table, and he took a deep breath, the usual spark in his eyes dimming.
you opened your mouth, instantly regretting it, but he spoke first. “i live with my grandmother.”
that wasn’t what you expected.
you blinked. “with your parents too?”
he shook his head slowly. “no. just her.”
you rushed to fix your words, hands slightly raised. “i mean, that’s not weird or anything. a lot of families live with their grandparents. it just makes the family bigger, right? i only live with my mom and—”
he interrupted, voice calm, but distant. “my parents died.”
the words hit like a brick wall. your breath caught in your throat.
“it was a plane crash. when i was ten. they were coming back from the u.s.,” he continued, his voice softer now. “they’d been checking out places to live because we were supposed to move there together. but the plane… didn’t make it.”
silence blanketed the table like a thick fog. even the sounds of the street outside—distant laughter, scooters, the clink of bowls—felt suddenly muted.
you looked down at your lap, unsure what to say, but before you could even mutter an apology, yeonjun smiled. not forced, not bitter—just… gentle.
“it’s okay,” he said, looking up again. “i’m happy. my grandma takes good care of me. she runs a barbecue restaurant nearby. you should come by sometime. i’ll sneak you extra meat.”
your heart ached a little at his warmth. he was so open, so strong, despite everything.
you forced a small smile, eyes searching his face. “how old are you?”
“i’ll be eighteen soon,” he said, straightening a little with pride. “last year of high school. next year, i’m taking the csat. gonna try for a university in seoul.”
“that’s impressive,” you said genuinely.
“yeah, well… someone’s gotta get out of incheon,” he grinned, and the mood lightened just a bit again.
you didn’t know what to say after that, so you just kept eating, the tteokbokki no longer hot but still comforting. and all the while, your thoughts wandered—about soobin, about your mother, about how the hell you'd ended up here. but more than anything… you found yourself wondering just who choi yeonjun really was underneath all those layers.
that night, the air in incheon was unusually still.
you walked slowly down the quiet streets, your belly full of spicy tteokbokki and your mind spinning from yeonjun’s unexpected vulnerability. it had left a mark on you—how easily he smiled through pain. and the way he talked about soobin, half mocking, half affectionate… it made your chest tighten again. your mother’s laughter echoed in your ears, youthful and bright like wind chimes, paired with soobin’s soft chuckle. a sound you never imagined you’d hear.
you paused just outside the small gate of the son house, your temporary home in the past. the night air carried scents of distant grilling meat and flowers you couldn’t name. everything felt unfamiliar and familiar all at once. stepping inside, you slid the door shut gently behind you and walked up to your room.
but the moment you pushed open the door, your breath hitched.
there, neatly placed on your pillow, was another envelope. cream-colored, slightly yellowed like old parchment. your fingers trembled a little as you picked it up, the weight of the paper oddly heavy in your hands.
you sat on the floor, your back to the wall, and opened it slowly.
inside was a single folded sheet. elegant, slanted handwriting greeted you.
"there are things that must happen in their rightful time, and you are here to ensure they do.
do not underestimate the importance of choi soobin.
the first love always leaves the deepest mark."
— H.
you stared at the letter for a long time.
your heart thudded violently in your chest.
choi soobin. the name might as well have been carved into your skin at this point.
was this… was he the reason you were sent here?
the connection to your mother felt too strong to ignore. her maiden name. that tragic love story mrs. son had told you earlier—the one about the sailor and the girl he never got to marry. was that somehow related?
was soobin him?
you reached for the tattered marriage certificate you'd found hidden in your mother’s things earlier. the ink-smudged name of the groom was still unreadable. all you had was a surname—choi. and now, soobin. was it all falling into place? or was your mind inventing connections where none existed?
you pressed your head back against the wall, eyes fluttering closed. “this can’t be real…” you whispered.
you hadn’t even had time to question how you ended up here. one moment you were in your mother’s room, digging through old boxes of memories, and the next… thrown into a version of korea you’d only read about in textbooks. no explanation. no instructions. Just instincts and heartbeats.
and now letters?
your thoughts swirled in chaos, and for the first time since arriving, your resolve faltered.
what if messing with the past had consequences?
what if you were the reason your mother’s love story ended in heartbreak?
what if you were supposed to stop something… or start it?
you pulled your knees to your chest, pressing the letter against your mouth to stifle the rising panic. the room was dark, quiet, humming with a kind of stillness that only came before storms.
and somewhere deep down, you knew:
whatever mission brought you here... it was only beginning.
time moved differently here.
days passed like water slipping through your fingers—slow and heavy, yet gone before you could truly grasp them. you’d started to adapt. your accent had softened, your posture adjusted. you walked with your hands folded in front of you like the other girls. you learned to bow at the right angle, to accept the stares without flinching, and to hide the flicker of your modern instincts when someone used a phrase you’d only seen in dusty textbooks.
in a way, you became someone new. but you never stopped looking over your shoulder, never stopped clutching the growing stack of letters from mr. hong like lifelines.
the latest one arrived tucked between the pages of a history book in the school library, hidden where only you would look. the handwriting, as always, was precise and calm—like a teacher’s, or perhaps a soldier’s.
“it is time to begin.
you must guide your mother.
help her open her heart to choi soobin.
but beware—any alteration of their bond may cause irreversible changes to the future."
H.
you read the letter three times, the words branded into your thoughts.
it made your heart ache with confusion.
soobin. always soobin.
you hadn’t seen much of him. he was in a different class, and so was your mother. both of them seemed to float in and out of your orbit like stars you couldn’t quite reach. you’d catch glimpses in the hallway—soobin, surrounded by classmates, a quiet but steady force of gravity. your mother, younger and nothing like the sharp, tired woman you grew up with. she was shy, always fidgeting with her sleeves, eyes lowered, cheeks turning pink when someone said her name.
and yeonjun… yeonjun had become your anchor.
you still didn’t know how it had happened, but one day, you were laughing at his terrible drawing of a teacher during lunch break, and the next, you couldn’t imagine surviving this world without him. he was the only one who could pull you back from the anxiety of feeling like you didn’t belong. the only one who let you be your strange, out-of-place self and still grinned like he was lucky to know you.
but that letter.
that letter twisted your insides.
because if you helped your mother fall in love with soobin… what would that mean for you?
would you vanish?
would your entire existence be erased?
you didn’t want to think about it. not now. not when your life here had finally started to feel like something real.
still, the next day, you found her.
she was standing behind the old school building, near the edge of the soccer field, half-hidden behind a low tree. the spring breeze tugged at her cardigan and sent petals fluttering to the ground. you followed her gaze and, unsurprisingly, found soobin on the field, laughing with a group of boys, his shirt a little untucked, his smile careless and devastating.
you stepped beside her slowly. she flinched when she noticed you.
“oh! you scared me,” she said softly, her voice barely audible.
You smiled. “sorry. i didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
she looked down, embarrassed, brushing hair behind her ear. “i was just… watching.”
you waited a moment, then leaned in closer. “do you like him?”
she went still. Her face turned crimson. “n-no! i mean… maybe. he’s… kind.”
you tilted your head. “do you want help?”
her eyes met yours—young, hopeful, unsure. “with what?”
“to… get closer to him,” you said, forcing a calm tone even as your stomach coiled with doubt. “maybe i can help.”
you didn’t know why you offered. maybe because the letter told you to. maybe because there was something sweet about her innocence, about the way she twisted her fingers together like love was something too big for her to hold.
or maybe you just wanted to understand.
to see what could have been.
to believe that everything wasn’t just coincidence.
as she nodded shyly, hope blooming across her face, you felt something cold drip down your spine.
what if she really did fall for him?
what if he loved her back?
what if they married—and you… never existed?
but the letter burned in your pocket like a second heartbeat. you had to trust it. trust that whoever—or whatever—had sent you here knew more than you did.
you forced a smile and said softly, “let’s start with a smile. next time he walks by.”
she looked at you with wide eyes. “just that?”
You nodded. “you’d be surprised what a smile can do.”
but you weren’t thinking of her when you said it.
you were thinking of soobin.
of the moment his eyes met yours for the first time.
and of how your whole world had started to change since.
the evening had that golden hue, the one you only get when the sun starts to sink behind the old buildings, casting everything in a nostalgic warmth. you’d organized the dinner with care. a simple yet modern spot: a small restaurant that served american-style burgers, with metal tables, hanging lights, and a jukebox playing soft romantic ballads in the background.
you thought it would be the perfect setting.
they just needed to coexist, relax, laugh a little. if your mom and soobin could spend time together, maybe you'd fulfill the letter’s request. maybe you could keep moving the pieces without altering the whole game.
yeonjun arrived first, greeting you with his trademark crooked smile and a pack of gum in hand. then came your mom’s friends, followed by soobin, and lastly, your mother, who looked absolutely lovely without realizing it—her hair loose, a navy blue dress with a white collar, and her cheeks flushed, as though simply being here made her nervous.
everything seemed fine… at first.
they all took their seats at a round table. you were between soobin and one of your mom’s friends. your plan was clear: give them space. let them talk, let something spark between them. but it didn’t go as planned.
the friends started whispering among themselves, yeonjun was animatedly talking about a movie he wanted to watch, and somehow, you ended up talking to soobin. again.
it was easy to talk to him. too easy.
both of you ordered the same burger, without even knowing it. you both took the pickles out at the same time and set them aside. at the first bite, you both chewed in sync, making a little involuntary sound of pleasure.
“mmm…”
“mm-hmm…”
you exchanged glances and chuckled. without realizing it, you both reached for napkins to wipe the same spot on your right cheeks at the exact same moment.
“what the hell?” one of your mom’s friends exclaimed, pointing at you both with a smile. “you two choreographed this or what? you look like twins! no, wait—clones!”
everyone laughed, except your mom.
“yeah,” yeonjun murmured, leaning on his elbows, watching you both closely. “even now, you’ve both got food on your cheeks... like two little rabbits.”
the laughter died down. you quickly wiped your mouth and glanced over at your mom.
that look.
you knew it too well. furrowed brows, clenched jaw, eyes cold and full of something between anger and discomfort. you’d seen it a thousand times, when you were younger, when you came home late, when you did something “out of line,” when you weren’t the daughter she needed you to be.
you knew what was coming.
and it came.
she stood up from the table without a word, grabbing her purse with force and walking out of the restaurant hurriedly. the others stared after her, soobin looked around confused, and yeonjun sat up in his seat, about to stand.
you reacted first.
you bolted after her, pushing the restaurant door open, the cold evening air hitting your face. you caught up to her on the sidewalk, calling her name. it felt strange to say her name out loud, like it wasn’t even the right name for her anymore.
she turned to face you abruptly, her eyes wet.
“are you mocking me?” she hissed, her voice shaking with anger. “did you really think i wouldn’t notice? you used me. you just wanted to get closer to soobin, didn’t you? used me to play your game.”
you froze, your heart pounding in your chest.
“n-no… it’s not like that,” you stammered, looking down at the ground as if you were twelve again and she had just caught you breaking something. “i don’t care about soobin, i swear. i just… wanted to help you.”
she didn’t answer, just stood there, eyes drilling into you with that piercing gaze.
you swallowed hard and said the first thing that came to your mind.
“it’s yeonjun.”
her expression softened slightly. barely noticeable.
“what?”
“i… i like yeonjun.”
she blinked, clearly caught off guard. you could feel the air change.
“what?”
“i... i like yeonjun.” you bit your lip nervously, not entirely sure of what you were saying, but the words felt right somehow. “not soobin. it’s yeonjun.”
you could feel your chest tighten as your mother processed your words. she blinked in surprise, before letting out a small, incredulous laugh.
“yeonjun?” she repeated, eyes widening. “you like yeonjun?”
you nodded sheepishly, the words coming out in a rush. “yeah, i mean… i think i do. but i’m not sure. i’ve just… been thinking about him a lot. you know, he’s kind of—well—different. i feel comfortable around him, i guess.”
you didn’t even realize yeonjun had been listening in from behind a nearby wall. he had been standing there, eavesdropping quietly, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
your mother looked at you, and for a brief moment, her anger softened. “i thought you liked soobin…”
you quickly shook your head. “no, not at all. i don’t even see him like that. you know, like how people do with someone famous or something. it’s just not the same…”
suddenly, there was a rustling noise behind you. you turned around to see yeonjun step out from behind the wall, his expression unreadable. you didn’t know if he had heard everything, but from the way his eyes locked with yours, you could tell he had. your cheeks burned.
“i, uh...” yeonjun scratched his head awkwardly. “you didn’t have to tell her that, you know.”
you opened your mouth to respond, but your mother didn’t wait for you to speak. she turned away, the tension still thick in the air.
“i don’t know what’s going on between you two, but... if you really like him, then go for it. i won’t stop you.” her voice was cold, the finality of it stinging. “but don’t use me for your own plans.”
you reached out instinctively, but she was already walking off, her steps quick and purposeful.
you felt a sharp pang in your chest. you hadn’t meant to hurt her.
but in that moment, yeonjun stood beside you, his presence oddly comforting despite the awkwardness of the situation.
the days blurred by as you found yourself caught in the web of your own actions. you had committed to this, to helping your mother—nari—conquer soobin, following the exact instructions hong had given you in that letter. you didn’t dare stray from the plan; it was your duty, a responsibility you couldn’t afford to fail. so, day by day, you found yourself subtly maneuvering your mother closer to Soobin in every possible way.
you'd suggest small moments where they could talk, push nari into soobin’s orbit, casually organizing group hangouts, dinners, or even study sessions. every time they spoke, you’d make sure there were just enough quiet moments where they were alone, hoping for that spark to ignite.
but as the days passed, yeonjun grew suspicious. he was noticing things, and it wasn’t hard to tell. there was something off about the way you acted, like you were always just a little too eager to get your mom and soobin together, like you were pulling invisible strings behind the scenes.
“why do you always look so nervous when i ask about you and soobin?” yeonjun had asked one evening, his eyes narrowing as he watched you carefully.
you froze, unsure of how to answer. you didn’t want to tell him the truth—not yet. it felt impossible to explain, and you certainly couldn’t let him in on the secret. not when it was still so fragile, so delicate.
“i—” you hesitated, then quickly changed the subject. “it’s nothing. just… weird timing, i guess.”
yeonjun wasn’t convinced. “no, it’s not nothing. you’re acting strange, and i don’t buy your story.”
his suspicion lingered, and his questions began to cut a little too close to the truth. you knew you couldn’t keep this up forever. and yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him. not yet.
“i'm just… doing what I have to do,” you said quietly, your voice barely a whisper. “it’s... a duty, yeonjun. a matter of life or death.”
he blinked in confusion. “a duty? what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
you sighed, rubbing your forehead in frustration. “i’ll tell you everything. just not now. i’m not ready yet. but i promise i’ll explain. saturday night, at your grandmother’s restaurant. we’ll talk then.”
yeonjun hesitated but nodded, as if he could sense the gravity of what you weren’t saying.
saturday night arrived quickly. you walked into the cozy, warm restaurant, the smell of grilled meats and spices thick in the air. yeonjun’s grandmother greeted you with a kind smile, and yeonjun led you to a quiet corner. he could tell you were nervous—hell, you were practically shaking with anticipation as you prepared to share your secret.
the moment the door closed behind you, you took a deep breath.
“so,” yeonjun started, leaning forward. “you said you were going to tell me everything. i'm listening.”
sou swallowed hard. there was no turning back now. you couldn’t run from this anymore.
“i—uh... i’ll start from the beginning,” you said, your voice wavering slightly. “a while ago, i found a photo between some old boxes when we were moving. it was a picture of a guy. he looked like he belonged in the past, like he didn’t fit in with the time i'm from.”
yeonjun furrowed his brows. “a guy?”
“yeah,” you nodded, the memories flooding back. “he’s… soobin. and my mom—she’s been acting weird, too. i started paying attention. i mean, she’s not like herself. she’s not the same person i remember. and it’s not just her attitude—there’s something deeper, like a whole other life she’s hiding. but it wasn’t until i found that picture that everything started making sense.”
yeonjun’s eyes widened as he leaned forward. “so, this guy, soobin... he’s important, right? but why are you involved? you’re talking about your mom like she’s not... your mom.”
you froze. his question hung in the air, thick and heavy. did he really get it? could he possibly know?
“i—i’m not from here, yeonjun,” you whispered, your voice barely above a breath. “i’m not from this time. i’m not even from this place.”
he blinked, a frown spreading across his face. “what do you mean? are you—”
“i’m from the future,” you interrupted, your words tumbling out in a rush. “from 2017. i was sent back here, to help my mom, nari. you see, in the future, things went wrong. a lot of things. i was... i was told that if i didn’t do this, something would happen that could ruin everything.”
yeonjun stared at you in disbelief, his face pale as he tried to process what you had just said. “you’re from the future? like, actually? you’re not joking right now?”
you shook your head, watching his expression change from skepticism to pure confusion.
“i’m not joking. i know it sounds insane, but it’s true. and soobin… he’s connected to it all. i think he’s the key to everything.”
“soobin?” yeonjun’s voice was barely a whisper. “is he your—your father?”
the question hit you like a punch in the chest. you had thought about it, briefly, in your mind, but hearing him ask the question was different. it felt real, like it was something that needed an answer.
you opened your mouth, but the words stuck in your throat. “i—i don’t know,” you admitted, the words trembling. “my dad... he was choi taesang. i found papers—an old marriage certificate. i even found a small part of his name, ‘bin,’ that matched soobin’s. my mom told me my dad changed his name because of some family issues, inheritance problems... but he died when i was little. i never knew him.”
you stared down at your hands, the weight of the past pressing down on you. “i’m not sure if soobin is my father, but i need to figure this out. i have to help my mom... i have to make sure things happen the way they’re supposed to.”
yeonjun sat back, his expression unreadable as he processed everything you had just told him. the silence stretched between you both, thick with uncertainty.
finally, he exhaled sharply. “so... what happens if you don’t do this? what happens if you fail?”
“i don’t know,” you whispered. “but i can’t take that chance. my existence depends on it.”
yeonjun stayed silent for a long moment, staring directly into your eyes. the disbelief that had once filled his expression seemed to melt away, replaced by something else. it wasn’t confusion anymore. there was a sense of determination now.
“i’ll help you,” he said, his voice confident, almost defiant, as if nothing could stop him. “i won’t let you disappear. i won’t let you face this alone.”
the declaration took you by surprise, and for a moment, you felt the weight on your shoulders lighten slightly. but at the same time, deep inside, something else stirred—sadness. because the simple fact that he was willing to stand by you in all of this meant one thing: sooner or later, you’d have to part ways. If this whole thing worked out, if your mission was fulfilled, your return to the future would be inevitable, and that would mean disappearing from his life, like you’d never been there.
yeonjun looked at you, a playful gleam lighting up his eyes. “in 26 years, i’ll be an old man, and you’ll still be a little kid. just imagining myself as an old man is enough to depress me.” he chuckled lightly. “26 years sounds so far away, but that’s when i’ll need to have everything figured out, right? i need to be satisfied with my life by then.”
you let out a light laugh, the weight of the conversation easing just a little. he was right, though. twenty-six years were a long time in the future, and that was when all of this would come to a head. but he was right. he had to fulfill his dreams and live his life, just as you had to. it made the whole situation feel... less heavy, for a moment.
yeonjun’s tone softened again as he looked at you. “i don’t fully understand your situation, but i know you’re under a lot of pressure. your life depends on this, doesn’t it?”
you nodded, a deep sigh escaping your lips. “it does. i don’t know what’s going to happen, but it feels like i’m running out of time. i... i don’t even know how to explain it.”
you looked at him, suddenly feeling vulnerable. “i’ll tell you everything,” you said softly. “come with me to the house where mrs. son is. i’ll show you all the letters. i’ve been keeping everything hidden, but i can’t keep this secret anymore. i’m sorry, mr. hong, for telling you all this... but i just couldn’t anymore.”
later that evening, you and yeonjun found yourselves sitting at the small kitchen table in mrs. son’s house. the air was thick with the weight of the truth you had just revealed, and it was starting to settle in for both of you. the letters, the photo of soobin, the strange messages from hong, and the terrifying idea that you could disappear from the timeline—it was a lot to process. but now, you were facing it all with yeonjun at your side.
yeonjun, still looking a little incredulous but trying his best to absorb everything, leaned back in his chair, his eyes searching yours for more clarity. "so, if you really are from the future, then... what happens there? what’s it like? What should i be worried about?"
you sighed deeply. the weight of the situation pressed down on you, but you could tell yeonjun was trying to understand, and that made it a little easier to talk. “the future is... weird. so much has changed, and so many things that we take for granted here—like technology—just didn’t exist when i was growing up. it’s all connected. everything is connected.”
yeonjun raised an eyebrow. “connected how?”
you shifted in your seat, gathering your thoughts before continuing. “like, some major things happen in history, things that change the way the world works. like... 9/11.
yeonjun looked confused. “9/11? is that... some sports event?”
you shook your head with a small, sad smile. “no. it was a huge terrorist attack in the united states, and it affected people all over the world. it’s something that... well, it's just a big moment in history. but, for you, it doesn’t really matter. it didn’t affect your life here. in fact, a lot of the things that matter there... just don’t affect you yet.”
yeonjun scratched his head. “that’s... strange. i don’t know much about world events like that.”
“yeah, i guess it’s not on your radar yet,” you replied, “but there are other things, too. football—soccer, i mean—becomes a huge deal in the future. International matches, world cups, they get so much attention. some players... they make history, you know?”
yeonjun perked up, leaning forward now. "wait, really? like who? who makes history?"
you looked at him, a bit taken aback by his sudden interest. “well, in 2002, south korea made it to the semifinals of the world cup. it was a huge deal. the entire country was celebrating. people were so proud of their team.”
yeonjun’s eyes widened, and he grinned. “wait, seriously? south korea in the semifinals? that’s insane!”
you laughed, feeling the warmth of his enthusiasm. “yeah. It’s like one of the proudest moments in sports history here.”
yeonjun’s face lit up even more as he absorbed the significance. "i can't wait to see that happen in the future. when it does, you’ll have to remind me, okay? i’ll throw a big celebration for it! just wait, i’m going to be ready to party!"
it was an unexpected reaction, but it made you smile. despite all the heavy stuff you were dealing with, yeonjun’s excitement about something so simple—celebrating a victory in a future that hadn't even happened yet—felt comforting. for a moment, it was like things weren’t so complicated. like he was still just a normal guy with normal dreams.
you could tell that, despite his earlier confusion, yeonjun was beginning to feel more at ease with the whole situation. “it’s going to happen, just not right now. but hey,” you said, “maybe we can actually watch it together. i mean... if i’m still around.”
yeonjun nodded, a teasing smile pulling at his lips. “we will. and i won’t let you disappear. not on my watch.”
it was said half-jokingly, but the sincerity behind his words was clear. you both sat there for a moment, allowing the silence to settle, but it wasn’t awkward. it felt... comfortable, like the weight of the truth was finally beginning to feel a little more bearable. yeonjun, despite all the confusion, was on your side. and that meant more to you than you realized.
“so,” yeonjun started, breaking the silence, “what’s next? what are you going to do with all this?”
you looked at the pile of letters on the table, still half-distracted by everything that had happened. “i don’t know yet. but i think i have to help my mom with soobin. i’m supposed to—well, the letters say it’s important. i just... i don’t know why. it’s all so weird.”
he leaned in closer, his tone serious now. “i don’t understand it all, but i get that you’ve got something you need to do. and i’ll help. whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. together.”
there was a sense of resolve in his voice now, a shift from the playful teasing earlier. he was no longer just a friend caught in the middle of your confusing life. he was someone who genuinely wanted to help you, someone who was willing to dive into the chaos with you and not back down.
and for the first time in a long time, you felt a glimmer of hope—hope that things might actually work out, no matter how strange and twisted your situation seemed.
the days passed, and as you and yeonjun continued to help your mother and soobin grow closer, you found a sense of tranquility in the small moments that blossomed between you both. you had done it. you’d helped them get to this point, this delicate moment where your mom was finally smiling in a way you had never seen before. the bond between her and soobin was undeniable, and watching it grow made your heart swell. it was a feeling you couldn’t quite explain—like a mix of pride and relief that you had completed a part of your task, something that had been weighing on your shoulders from the very beginning. but you weren’t just a passive observer anymore. you had become part of their story.
and on that day, march 15th, when your mom and soobin posed for their first photo together, you couldn’t help but feel a strange warmth settle in your chest. it was a moment you had carefully worked towards, a culmination of your efforts to see them happy, to see them closer. you were the one who took the picture, the one who captured their smiles—their shared joy that lit up the frame. they didn’t know it yet, but this photo would become a symbol of so much more than just a casual memory. it was a milestone, a turning point in all their lives.
you stood behind the camera, the lens capturing the gentle moment between them, and your eyes shifted to yeonjun, who was standing next to you. “you think they’ll be okay?” you whispered, adjusting the focus of the camera.
he looked at you with a soft smile, his voice gentle. “i think so. they’re finally seeing each other for who they really are.” his words were comforting, and you couldn’t help but feel that warmth expand.
but as you stood there, camera in hand, it wasn’t just their happiness that lingered in your heart. yeonjun, who had been standing next to you the entire time, his shoulder brushing against yours as you captured the moment, made the whole day feel like it was meant for the two of you. you had become part of something larger than yourself, something far beyond just the letters and the tasks hong had laid out for you. you had become a part of this world, a world that, in its own way, felt like it belonged to you and yeonjun.
days later, you found yourself sitting in your room, carefully sorting through the photos. there were the ones with your mom and soobin, their smiles as wide as the world itself. but then, there were others—the ones you had taken with yeonjun. the ones that seemed so simple, yet carried so much weight. you had never intended to take those pictures, but in the rush of moments, you had. there was the one where you both were riding his bike down the narrow, windy streets, laughing as he swerved the bike just to hear you squeal in fear. or the one where you were sitting on the school rooftop, your legs dangling over the edge as you whispered things about your time, things that felt like secrets shared between two souls who had no business existing in the same moment. those were the photos you’d kept—hidden in a little corner of your heart, tucked into the back of your mind.
you hesitated before pulling one of the pictures from the pile, the one where you were wrapped in yeonjun’s arms as he rode the bike. his face was full of joy, eyes crinkled in a grin, while you were buried in the back of his jacket, your face flushed from the wind and the thrill. you thought about whether it was allowed, whether it was okay to keep such a thing, but in that moment, you didn’t care. this photo, this simple image of you and yeonjun, held something more. something you didn’t have words for yet.
you tucked it carefully into your bag, your fingers grazing the edges of the photo one last time before you turned your attention back to the other picture—the one of your mom and soobin. you felt your heart tighten as you looked at her face, her expression softer than you had ever seen it. there was a glow there, an undeniable happiness that hadn’t been present before. she looked younger somehow, the years of hardship fading away beneath the tender light of a new love—of the first fluttering steps into something that could only be described as the beginning of something beautiful. you couldn't help but feel a rush of emotion wash over you. the woman who had always been so strong, so independent, was now looking at soobin with a softness that made her seem... fragile in the most endearing way. her cheeks flushed with the warmth of her newfound feelings, and her eyes sparkled with the innocence of someone discovering love for the very first time. it was almost impossible to imagine, but there she was, looking at him with a glow that almost seemed surreal.
you didn’t hesitate. you handed the photo to her, watching her take it with trembling hands, eyes scanning it like it was the most precious thing in the world. she looked at soobin, then back at the photo, and then back at you. for a moment, she didn’t say anything, and you almost wondered if she had even noticed the way her face changed. but then she smiled—a smile that wasn’t forced or polite. it was genuine, a smile that came from deep within her, and you realized, for the first time, that maybe you had finally done the right thing.
as the days passed, the air around your relationship with yeonjun grew lighter. you found yourselves spending more and more time together, and each moment seemed to deepen the connection between you both. It was something unspoken, an invisible thread that kept pulling you toward him, no matter how much you tried to resist it. there were moments when it felt so natural, so easy. riding on his bike—your arms wrapped around his waist, your face pressed against his back, feeling his warmth seep into your skin. he never seemed to mind. and when you helped him out at his grandmother’s restaurant on weekends, scrambling around the kitchen and laughing as you tried to juggle orders, it felt right. it felt like home.
“thanks for helping me today,” yeonjun said, a smile tugging at his lips as you wiped your hands on your apron. he stood next to you, leaning against the counter, his eyes glinting with something you couldn’t quite place.
“of course,” you answered, glancing up at him with a playful smile. “what else are friends for?”
he grinned back, but there was something deeper in his gaze, something you both avoided acknowledging. “friends, huh?” he murmured, just loud enough for you to hear.
“yeah,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper as you turned back to the counter, not daring to look him in the eye.
and when the two of you snuck away from class to spend a few stolen minutes on the school’s rooftop, your legs dangling over the edge, it was like time stood still. you’d share bits of your world with him—small things, like the way your phone had changed from an old flip model to a sleek, glass-covered touchscreen. or the way people started using the internet for everything, even their grocery shopping. but when you spoke about the past, about the things that would come to pass, there was always that look in his eyes—one that made your heart beat faster, as though he was hanging on to your every word, each story you told drawing him closer.
“so… the first man on the moon, huh?” yeonjun asked, a twinkle in his eye as he leaned forward slightly, his gaze fixed on you with an intensity that made your breath catch. “that’s a big deal in your time?”
“it is,” you answered softly, nodding. “it changed the way we see the world. the idea that we could be more than just earth-bound.” you paused, catching your breath before continuing. “it was… a promise. a promise that anything is possible.”
yeonjun’s gaze softened as he absorbed your words, the weight of them hanging in the air between you. there was something unspoken in that moment, something fragile, like the threads of a story yet to be fully told. you were both trapped in this moment, floating in the same strange space, neither of you daring to say what was on your mind, but both of you feeling it all the same.
“maybe one day we’ll go to the moon,” he said quietly, a light laugh escaping his lips. “wouldn’t that be something?”
you smiled, your chest swelling with a feeling you couldn’t name. maybe one day. maybe one day, you and yeonjun would do just that.
under the clear early-winter sky, you and yeonjun lay side by side on the worn-out blanket he had brought to the rooftop of the shared house. It was one of those nights that felt like it belonged in a diary—quiet, cold, intimate, and framed by a dome of stars so dazzling they seemed ready to spill from the heavens.
the night sky was purer than anything you'd seen in your own time. no pollution. no smog. no glowing cities to wash it all out. just the two of you, and a universe that felt infinite.
“the stars…” you whispered, eyes wide, fixed on the constellations. “they’re so beautiful here. so clear. in the future, you can’t see them like this anymore.”
yeonjun turned his head to look at you. his gaze was soft, filled with that quiet curiosity he always seemed to have when it came to you. “really? not even on clear nights?”
you shook your head, a breath slipping from your lips like smoke in the cold. “not even then. the city lights drown everything out. it’s like the stars have disappeared completely.”
he was quiet for a moment, watching the sky as if trying to memorize it for you—like he could bottle the night and give it to you to take home. then his voice dropped low, barely louder than a thought. “what do you think would’ve happened… if you’d never come here? if you hadn’t time-traveled?”
the question caught you off guard. your fingers brushed against his, half-consciously seeking him out on the fabric between you. “i don’t know,” you admitted truthfully. “maybe… we’d have never met.”
yeonjun let out a soft laugh—not teasing, just warm and tinged with something bittersweet. “yeah… i probably would've kept going with my life. not knowing someone like you even existed.”
“that sounds really sad,” you murmured.
he turned onto his side, propping himself up on an elbow to face you fully. the starlight reflected in his eyes, making them shine. “y/n,” he said quietly, “i think i was born just to meet you.”
your heart clenched. the words hit you in a way that felt too big for your chest. cheesy. ridiculous. impossible. but still—so honest it hurt.
you smiled, cheeks flushed pink from more than just the cold. “maybe i was born to travel through time… just to meet you.”
he blinked slowly, then grinned. “so destiny was playing matchmaker, huh?”
“looks like it,” you said, nudging his shoulder.
it wasn’t a confession. not really. but the space between you shifted, electric and fragile. there were no titles, no labels. just the quiet knowledge that you felt the same—unspoken, yet undeniably there.
since your arrival, months had passed. it was now early 1992. your mother and soobin were officially dating, a real couple. it felt surreal. every time you looked at them, you could feel your mission inching closer to its end.
yeonjun was starting to prepare for university applications. his excitement was contagious—he’d talk about moving to seoul, walking through huge lecture halls, making music with other artists. sometimes he’d describe it so vividly you felt like you were already there with him.
“you should come with me,” he said one afternoon while helping you dry bowls at the restaurant. “if you’re still here when school starts.”
you blinked at him. “you mean… to seoul?”
“yeah. why not? you can live in a rooftop apartment next to mine. we’ll eat cheap ramen together. i’ll walk you to your classes.”
your laugh was quiet. “i don’t even know if i’ll still be here. if my mom’s already dating soobin, maybe… maybe it’s almost over. maybe I’ll be sent back soon.”
his smile faltered a little. “right…”
there was a beat of silence before he asked it again—the question that lingered over both of you like a shadow.
“do you think soobin’s your dad?”
you exhaled slowly, eyes falling to the sink. “i don’t know. i wish i did. But i won’t know anything until i go back and… ask her. for real.”
yeonjun nodded, lips pressed tight. you could tell he hated the unknown, hated that all of this—the time you had together—was out of your hands.
still, he leaned in closer, his shoulder bumping yours. “whatever happens… i’m glad we met.”
you tilted your head toward him. “even if i disappear one day without warning?”
he looked at you, eyes unwavering. “even then.”
and in that moment, beneath the stars of a world untouched by time, your hands found each other again. fingers interlaced, quiet and certain. there were no promises. no confessions.
but you both knew the truth.
even without a name, this—whatever it was between you—was real.
though soobin and your mother acted like shy high school sweethearts—barely daring to hold hands in public, cheeks flushed at the simplest touch—you’d heard him once when he thought no one else was listening.
“i want to take you to meet my parents,” soobin had said, voice steady but soft. “i want their blessing. i know we’re young, but i’ve never been so sure about anything.”
your mother had stared at him, eyes wide with something between awe and disbelief. and you… you had frozen behind the door, hand on your chest, trying to breathe quietly.
it wasn’t just puppy love. soobin meant it. he was serious about her. about a future with her.
you swallowed the lump in your throat. was this… really your father?
you didn’t know what to feel. or say. or even think. all you could do was watch. hope. wait for time to untangle itself beneath your anxious feet.
through it all, yeonjun had been patient with you. so sweetly patient it almost hurt. he never rushed you, never asked for more than you were ready to give. he held your hand when you offered it. stayed close when you needed someone to lean on. you were happy—so achingly, dizzyingly happy—but every so often, reality would fall on you like cold water.
you weren’t meant to stay here. not forever.
you didn’t belong in the past.
if you stayed, who knew what chaos you could cause? butterfly wings and hurricanes. your existence here was a ticking bomb—you just didn’t know when it would explode.
letters from mr. hong still came, even after your confession to yeonjun. he didn’t mention what you’d done. he didn’t seem angry or hurt. just distant. polite. almost like a mentor trying to keep things strictly professional now.
but then… in may, a letter came that chilled you to the bone.
"this will be the last letter, but it doesn’t mean your mission is over. you may stay in the past for weeks, or months, even after this. but something dark is coming. something that will shake the foundation of everything you’ve protected until now.
in august, during the farewell party for the senior students… something will happen. be alert. watch closely. whatever happens, protect them."
-H.
your eyes scanned the paper in panic, fingers trembling.
you memorized every word. you carried the letter folded tight in your bag, your pillow, your pockets. you barely slept. you watched your mother like a hawk, stuck to soobin’s side more than ever. you hoped it was paranoia. that maybe nothing would happen.
but august arrived.
and so did the storm.
the night of the farewell party was warm and buzzing, the air thick with the joy of students celebrating the end of a chapter. you wore a borrowed dress, hair tucked up, eyes scanning every face. yeonjun stayed close. you could feel his hand grazing yours whenever you drifted.
then, it happened.
scream. loud. sharp. ripping through the music.
you turned and saw soobin—face twisted in rage—hitting a boy again and again. the boy on the floor was bleeding from the mouth, gasping, trying to block the blows. around them, students scattered, screaming. a teacher tried to pull soobin back, but soobin was gone. blind with fury.
someone yelled your mother’s name.
uou turned and saw her—shaking, pale, clothes torn at the shoulder, crying.
and then the cops arrived.
sirens. chaos. lights blinding.
they took soobin in cuffs. he didn’t fight it. he just turned to look at your mother, blood on his knuckles, and said, “i’m sorry.”
everything spiraled after that.
you learned later what had happened. the boy—older, drunk—had cornered your mother. tried to force himself on her. soobin had found them just in time.
but justice wasn’t simple.
soobin’s father, a well-known senator, came crashing down with fury. his name had been dragged through mud. his son in a scandal. a fight. a girl.
he beat soobin the night he got home. soobin showed up days later at your mom's house, face swollen, lip split. he said nothing. just hugged your mother and cried.
and then came the final blow.
his father announced that after soobin’s brief juvenile sentence, he’d be sent to the u.s. for good. a fresh start. a new life. a university abroad.
he was forbidden from seeing your mother again.
she wore the promise ring on her finger still. tiny, silver, nothing flashy—but it shimmered like a thousand diamonds when the light hit it. soobin had given it to her just weeks ago.
“i’ll marry you one day,” he’d whispered. “i swear.”
now she barely left her room. she stopped eating. stopped smiling. her eyes were always red.
you watched it all unfold. helpless. like your chest was being split open from the inside. you thought this was it. you thought this was the end of your mission—and that you’d failed.
maybe you were supposed to stop it. maybe this was the event. maybe this was what you were meant to prevent.
but now it was done.
and you hadn’t stopped it.
one night, after crying so hard your body physically ached, you found yourself in the backyard, curled up on a bench, arms wrapped around your knees.
yeonjun found you there.
he didn’t say anything. he just sat beside you, then gently pulled you into his chest. his arms wrapped around you like a shield. you buried your face in his sweater and sobbed. he stroked your hair slowly, patiently, as if telling you without words: i’m here. i’m not going anywhere.
“i think i ruined everything,” you whispered, voice raw.
“you didn’t ruin anything,” he said softly.
“i didn’t stop it. i didn’t protect them.”
“you’ve done more than anyone ever could,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple. "you’ve loved them. that matters. that always matters.”
you closed your eyes.
and for the first time since august began, you let yourself fall apart. safely. in yeonjun’s arms.
even if everything else was crashing down, at least—for now—he was still here.
the months slipped by like smoke between your fingers.
from august to october, the colors around you changed—summer golds fading into autumn reds, then the gray hush of early october. but inside the house, inside your mother's room, it was always winter.
she tried to smile. tried to live. you made her tea, left her notes, held her hand through silences that stretched across entire afternoons. but you couldn’t force her heart to forget.
she had been in love with soobin since the very first day.
it had been fast. intense. a fire that lit her from the inside out—and now, after being torn apart so cruelly, she was trying to breathe through the ashes.
“everything i felt for him was real,” she whispered one night, curled beneath her blanket like a ghost of herself. “i’ve never loved someone like that. and now he’s gone.”
he was gone. living on the other side of the world. his father had made good on his promise—sent him to the u.s., far from everything that made him human. from her. from you.
at first, letters came. they were sweet, hopeful, full of aching promises.
but then they stopped.
you weren’t sure if he was being watched, controlled, or if he’d been forced to forget her by the cold grip of his powerful family. all you knew was that her mailbox stayed empty. and your mother stayed broken.
but in your corner of this spiraling world, there was yeonjun.
yeonjun, who saw you even when you tried to disappear behind your guilt. yeonjun, who didn’t ask for more than what you could give. who held your fears gently in the curve of his palm and waited for you to breathe again.
he was the only one who could calm your unraveling thoughts.
but even that peace became fractured. as october arrived, he pulled away—not emotionally, but physically, lost in piles of paperwork and meetings and test prep for university in seoul.
days would pass without seeing him. you waited, restless. you’d grown addicted to his presence, to the way his voice softened your panic and made the world feel less heavy.
so when he finally said through the phone “let’s have dinner tonight. just us,” your heart skipped like a stone over water.
it was a sunday evening.
the sun had set early, painting the sky in smudges of burnt orange and deep plum. the air was crisp but not cold, the kind that wrapped around your skin like a silk scarf. the streets were quiet, glowing under amber streetlamps, trees shivering slightly in the breeze.
he waited for you at the tteokbokki place—the same spot where you'd first laughed over spicy sauce and nervous glances months ago.
but this time… he looked different.
he’d styled his hair back with gel, revealing the full line of his forehead and the soft arch of his brows. it made him look older, more refined. dangerous, even. the boyish charm hadn’t vanished—it had evolved, carved into something breathtaking.
you blinked, stunned. “you… you look so hot.”
he nearly choked on his water, laughing. “what?”
“i mean it. the hair. it suits you. you look like a model or something.”
his cheeks flushed red. “you can’t just say that and act normal.”
you leaned forward, smug. “i just did.”
the tension melted into warm laughter, echoing between the tiled walls of the tiny restaurant. it felt like you were the only two people in the world.
then, you picked up a piece of tteokbokki, holding it in your chopsticks. “say ‘ahh~’.”
he gave you a playful side-eye. “are we really doing this?”
“yes,” you grinned. “we’re method acting as a couple. you need to commit.”
he opened his mouth with a dramatic sigh. “ahhh—”
you fed him the piece, your fingers brushing his lips by accident, and you both burst out laughing. it was ridiculous. silly. but the way he was looking at you—it wasn’t silly at all.
then he said it.
“i love you.”
the world stopped.
your smile froze on your lips. time seemed to fracture around you, holding its breath.
before you could speak, he continued, voice lower now, almost trembling.
“i know you’ll leave. i know this isn’t your world. but you have something that belongs to you. me.” he reached across the table, took your hand. “even if our time is short… i want to spend it with you. i don’t want to regret not saying it. i don’t want to spend the next 26 years wishing i had.”
your throat tightened. your fingers gripped his.
“i like you, y/n. I like you so much it hurts. and if the universe tears us apart, i’ll be reborn just to find you again. in every timeline, i’ll search for you. always.”
your heart beat so fast it hurt. your mouth was dry. your body frozen.
but he wasn’t waiting for permission anymore.
he stood, leaned over the table, and kissed you.
softly. slowly. like the world didn’t matter.
his lips tasted like tteokbokki and heartbreak, sweet and fiery all at once. your eyes fluttered shut. everything blurred. the restaurant, the lights, the soft chatter of other customers—all vanished.
there was only him. his mouth against yours. his breath brushing your cheek. his hand cradling the side of your neck with delicate reverence.
the world spun.
but for the first time in months, you didn’t care.
you kissed him back. you kissed him like he was the only thing anchoring you to this moment.
because maybe he was.
you started a relationship without labeling it. no one asked, “will you be mine?” they just... were. and that was enough.
no promises, no declarations. only two hearts quietly choosing each other in the midst of borrowed time.
yeonjun didn’t push you. he never asked for forever. he just gave you his time—every second of it. and you, with a heart full of fear and a mind screaming you don’t belong here, you gave him everything you could.
your moments, your awkward laughs, your unsure hands, your kisses that tasted like soft desperation, your half-written thoughts and unfinished dreams.
every date felt like a stolen lifetime.
one warm afternoon, he took you to the park with an old checkered blanket and a thermos full of hot chocolate.
he brought his vintage camera and snapped pictures of you while the sun painted you in gold.
“you look like a memory,” he said, looking at you through the lens like you were the most precious thing he’d ever seen.
another night, you strolled through the streets hand in hand, fingers tangled loosely, like a promise never spoken.
you passed by old storefronts and flickering streetlights, until you found a small cinema playing black and white films.
he held your thumb the whole time, tracing slow circles into your skin, and you weren’t even watching the movie— you were memorizing the way his jaw looked in the flickering light,
how he leaned close when he laughed.
on a lazy saturday, he took you to a dusty secondhand bookstore tucked between an old pharmacy and a fruit shop.
you two hid between shelves, reading poetry aloud,
laughing when he made up the endings, and somewhere between the little prince and a forgotten romance novel, he kissed you again— slow, reverent, like you were made of something holy.
some mornings, you just stayed home.
he made pancakes in a worn apron with a bunny print, and you danced around in oversized socks, hair a mess, and he’d tell you, “you’re my favorite song.” and you’d whisper back, how am i supposed to leave this?
but you didn’t say it out loud. you didn’t have to. you both knew.
and still—he stayed.
and still—you loved him.
while yeonjun became your calm, your anchor, your mother began to slowly stitch herself back together.
not in grand gestures. not overnight. but little by little.
she stopped crying in the mornings. she let you brush her hair again.
she smiled at breakfast, not because she was over soobin, but because she remembered how to feel sunlight on her skin.
you watched her heal. you watched her reread soobin’s old letters with trembling fingers, tears still fresh, but her spine straighter.
“i’ve never loved someone like that before,” she confessed one night while folding laundry, voice soft as dusk. “it all happened so fast… it was real. i know it was.”
and you nodded, because you saw it— the way they looked at each other like time was a thief.
and you were living that same story now. with your own boy. your own impossible love.
except you didn’t know how yours would end.
only that it had already changed you. forever.
it was thursday. early. too early.your eyes were heavy, your limbs sluggish with the weight of not enough sleep.
your mind replayed the night before in soft flashes— you and yeonjun lying side by side, talking about everything and nothing. he told you he'd be leaving at dawn to catch the train to seoul. his csat exam. he had smiled when he said it, eyes wide with excitement and nerves.
“i’ll take the 6 a.m. train,” he whispered. “i want to be early… less stress that way.”
you’d nodded, fingers brushing his. you kissed him—sleepy and slow—and told him good luck. told him you’d buy cake and celebrate when he came back. he grinned, “then now i’m more excited about the cake than the exam.”
your chest ached gently with the memory. how warm his voice had sounded. how real he’d felt.
you went about your morning like any other. brushed your teeth.
took a quick shower. you padded downstairs, hair still damp, the floorboards creaking beneath your bare feet.
mrs. son was already up, bustling in the kitchen, apron tied neatly at her waist. the scent of warm broth and toasted rice filled the air. you walked past her to the small calendar on the wall.
she reached it before you. ripped off yesterday’s page in one clean motion. november 12th.
you froze a second. something tugged at your gut. but you shook it off.
“need help?” you asked, voice light.
“set the table, darling,” she said, smiling.
you did. poured the tea. laid out the bowls. and sat down across from her.
she talked casually as you ate. about the weather. the street cats.then she looked up from her spoon and grinned.
“you really won the lottery with that one, huh? so handsome, your yeonjun. if i had met someone like him in my youth…” she sighed dramatically.
you laughed. but there was a tremble in it. because this wasn't your youth. and it wasn't your time.
you were borrowing this moment. and somewhere inside, you knew the clock was ticking.
after breakfast, you stayed in the living room, watching a slow moving drama with mrs. son. she liked to yell at the characters, complain about the villains, cheer for the lovers. you leaned your head against the cushion, letting her voice wash over you,
but your mind drifted again.
to his voice. to his train. to his smile as he said “see you tonight.”
and then—
the screen cut to static. just for a second. then the image returned, but it wasn’t the drama anymore.
breaking news.
you sat up.
a smoky image filled the screen. metal twisted into grotesque shapes, a train on its side, the ground scorched and steaming. bodies—blurry—too blurry— sirens. flashing lights.
your blood went ice cold. your lungs forgot how to breathe.
“the train… the train from incheon to seoul has… derailed—”
and you knew. you didn’t need them to say it. you knew.
the flashback hit you like a bullet— “the tragic accident of the incheon-seoul express…” your own voice, from before. before all of this.
“no.” the word spilled from you in a whisper. then louder.
“no—no—no—YEONJUN!”
mrs. son barely had time to react before you were on your feet, heart slamming against your ribs like it wanted to shatter them, legs moving without direction—without control.
you burst out of the house, wind clawing at your skin, eyes blind with tears.
how could i be so stupid? you knew. YOU KNEW. you had the date. the place. the headline burned into your memory. and you let him go.
your breath tore out of you in gasps as you flagged down the first taxi you saw. the driver looked at you wide-eyed as you shouted,
“the train wreck—take me there. please—now.”
“miss, they won’t let you near it. police closed everything. it’s chaos—”
“my boyfriend is there!” your scream cracked your throat raw. “he’s in there—i have to get to him—i have to—”
he drove.
but you were already breaking. from the inside out. because the pieces were fitting together, one after another like cruel clockwork.
you could save your mom. you could save soobin.
but not him.
yeonjun. your bright light. your stolen season of peace. and you’d let him go with a kiss and the promise of cake.
god, why didn’t you say don’t go? why didn’t you scream the truth
you pressed your forehead to the car window, watching the blur of streets race past, but all you saw were his eyes. his hands. his smile.
the memory of his “i love you” slammed into your chest like a truck.
your vision tunneled. everything felt muffled. your body was still moving, still trying, but some part of you had already shattered.
you felt it. a cold certainty deep in your bones.
he was gone. and you’d known it. and you couldn’t stop it.
the sobs started in your gut—ugly, loud, and you curled into yourself in the back of that taxi, screaming his name as if the wind might carry it back in time and stop him from boarding that train.
but time, as always, didn’t listen.
the taxi barely slowed when you pushed the door open.
"hey! miss! what the hell—!" you didn’t hear the rest. your feet hit the pavement hard and fast. cars honked around you, drivers yelling, but none of it registered.
you ran.
the train station loomed ahead, a warped silhouette behind smoke and flashing lights. traffic had collapsed around it—cars trapped in a gridlock of sirens and screams. people were everywhere, shouting, crying, pacing the sidewalks with phones pressed to their ears, desperate for news.
but you only had one thought. one name.
yeonjun.
your breath tore from you in bursts as you shoved through the crowd, ignoring the sting of elbows and the heat of panic. you had to find him. he was here.
he was—
a loud honk split the air behind you.
you turned your head— just a flicker— and saw it.
a car.
too fast.
too close.
your eyes widened. you didn’t scream. just a choked, helpless whimper as your knees locked in place.
then—
impact.
your world tilted. the sky spun. your body flew—weightless— before slamming into the ground with a sickening crack.
pain.
then nothing.
voices.
screams.
doors slamming.
tires screeching.
everything faded—
the colors, the sounds, the smell of smoke and burning metal.
all of it fell away, until even your mind went quiet.
you gasped awake. your scream pierced the sterile silence of the hospital room. your body jolted upright, limbs flailing beneath thin sheets, the ache in your chest unbearable.
"YEON—"
but the name—
the name—
what was the name?
you froze, heart hammering wildly as tears welled in your eyes.
there was a face. a smile. soft brown eyes that crinkled when he laughed. warm hands. a voice that said “i love you” in the quiet.
but the name. what was his name?
a soft thud.
your mom—
startled awake from the small couch by the window.
“baby—baby, you're awake! oh my god—" she rushed to your side, holding your trembling hands.
you blinked at her. tried to speak, but your throat burned.
the door burst open. nurses flooded in, followed by a doctor with a clipboard and calm urgency.
“heart rate’s spiking—she’s in shock—prepare a sedative—” no. no. you didn’t want to forget.
you clung to the face in your mind. you bit your tongue to stay conscious. you tried to picture him— his eyes, his laugh, the way he said your name.
but the details blurred. the voice faded. and worst of all— you couldn’t remember what you used to call him. what he used to call you.
your body thrashed on the bed until the needle slid into your arm. warmth spread through your veins, thick and heavy, dragging you down.
you sobbed. not from pain— but from the terrible emptiness blooming inside your chest. something was gone. someone was gone.
when you woke again, it was quiet.your mother sat beside you, stroking your hair with gentle fingers.
her eyes were red.
“you scared me,” she whispered. “you passed out two nights ago. i found you by the closet. you wouldn’t wake up.”
two nights?
your lips parted.
your voice came out hoarse.
“two nights…?”
“yeah. the doctor says you were dehydrated. exhausted. they ran some tests, but…” she paused. her brows furrowed. “they think it might have been psychological. you were… crying in your sleep.”
your mind raced. no—no— you were gone for longer than that. you lived another life. with another family. with him.
but the memories were slipping like sand through your fingers.
“i was somewhere else,” you murmured, barely audible. your mother leaned in.
“what, sweetheart?”
you shook your head, tears filling your eyes. “i—I was in the past. i was with… with…”
his face.
for a moment it was there again.
just a flicker.
but when you tried to focus—
when you tried to hold it still—
it scattered like dust.
you choked on a sob.
what kind of cruel joke was this?
you remembered how it felt.
the love.
the joy.
the heartbreak.
but not him.
not even his name.
you wrapped your arms around your knees, curling into yourself on the hospital bed.
“mom…” your voice cracked. “i think i lost someone important.”
she looked at you with quiet confusion, not understanding what you meant. but how could she?
how do you explain losing a person you’re not even sure existed anymore? how do you mourn someone your mind won’t let you remember?
but your heart knew. somewhere deep down, in a place no medicine could reach— it knew.
and it hurt like hell.
a month had passed since you were discharged from the hospital. the doctors said you had collapsed from shock, that maybe it was stress, dehydration, or a neurological response. none of them had a real explanation for why you’d been unconscious for so long, or why, when you finally woke up, you whispered a name you couldn’t remember and cried for someone who didn’t exist.
your body had recovered. you could walk, eat, shower, smile if you really had to. but something inside you felt... disconnected. sometimes you would stare out the window for hours, not even noticing the sun moving across the sky. sometimes you would wake up in the middle of the night with tears on your cheeks and an ache in your chest that wouldn’t let you breathe. other times you felt like a ghost living in your own skin—aware, but not present.
you couldn’t ride the train again. even the sound of one passing in the distance made your knees weak and your hands tremble. it was irrational. you knew that. but every time you tried, something deep inside screamed at you not to go. a primal terror wrapped around your ribs and wouldn’t let go. maybe it was trauma from the collapse. maybe it was something you brought back with you. you weren’t sure anymore.
you tried to convince yourself that none of it had happened. that it was just a vivid dream your brain created while you were unconscious. it had to be, right? people don’t just fall into different timelines. they don’t leap through summers that never existed, meet boys with eyes like galaxies, or change the past. yet, no matter how many times you repeated that logic to yourself, it never stuck. something in you knew it had been real. and that knowing haunted you.
you had changed. you were quieter now, reserved. you spoke only when necessary and often found yourself zoning out in the middle of conversations, eyes unfocused as if you were somewhere else entirely. school felt like noise. people buzzed around you, but you couldn’t keep up. your grades dropped. you didn’t care. you didn’t connect with anyone. making friends felt pointless when your heart still lived in a different time.
your relationship with your mother had shifted too. after your collapse, she was visibly worried, almost overly attentive—but you couldn’t let her in. not after everything. not when you remembered her as the teenage girl you met that summer, crying into your arms, struggling through heartbreak. that memory clashed too harshly with the woman sitting at the dinner table now, asking if you’d done your homework. you had built a wall between the two of you, and she didn’t know how to climb over it.
and then, one evening as you both sat eating dinner in silence, the question escaped your lips before you could stop it.
“is soobin my father?”
the fork in her hand froze mid-air, and her eyes flicked to yours, wide and sharp with alarm. her mouth parted slightly in surprise, brows furrowing in clear discomfort. you regretted asking immediately—until her expression softened. she sighed and set the fork down, folding her hands in her lap as she looked at you with a strange mixture of vulnerability and nostalgia.
“no,” she said quietly. “he’s not.”
your stomach twisted, unsure if the answer brought relief or disappointment. she looked away for a moment, as if remembering something from a dream of her own.
“soobin... was someone i knew in high school,” she continued. “he was sweet. shy, but in a charming way. he helped me get through something really hard. i remember this girl who was there too—she supported me, made me feel less alone—but i can’t remember her name now. it’s strange. i remember her eyes, her voice, but... not her name.”
your throat tightened. that was you. but you said nothing.
“soobin and i dated for a while. we thought we were meant for each other. but life had other plans. he left for the united states. we tried to stay in touch, but... things faded. i fell apart for a while. but eventually, in college, i met someone else. your father. choi wonbin.”
the name hit you like a wave. your eyes widened, heart stuttering in your chest. wonbin. not soobin. and that explained everything. that was why you hadn’t vanished when soobin left. that was why the timeline remained intact. your existence had never depended on him. your mother smiled softly, almost laughing to herself.
“i know, i know. soobin, wonbin—it sounds ridiculous. just a coincidence,” she said. “but sometimes... life is full of coincidences that somehow make sense.”
for the first time in weeks, the tension in your shoulders eased. it was as if a door had opened. as if something that had been stuck finally began to shift. and for the first time since you returned, you felt a sliver of peace.
a week later, a package arrived for you. it was small, lightweight, and addressed in delicate handwriting. your fingers trembled as you opened it. inside, you found a single letter. your breath hitched the moment your eyes recognized the script. it was his.
mr. hong.
“y/n, it wasn’t a dream. you really did travel through time.
the reason you’re still alive and well is because you followed the path that was meant to be.
everything happened as it had to. even the painful parts. even the losses.
you played your part with courage, with love.
thank you.
now, rest. beautiful things await you.
this is my final goodbye.
live, y/n. truly live.
—hong.”
your vision blurred as hot tears rolled down your cheeks. you clutched the letter to your chest, heart aching with a grief that had no words. you didn’t know why it hurt so much. only that something inside you had broken open. maybe it was because it had been real. maybe because it was over. maybe because someone had finally said thank you.
a few days later, your homeroom teacher called you into his office. you weren’t in the mood for anything. you shuffled into the room with tired steps and blank eyes.
“we have a transfer student,” he said with a warm smile. “i’d like you to show him around. since you’re both new, maybe you can help each other.”
you nodded absently, barely paying attention. your gaze drifted to his desk—a black pen, a leather-bound notebook—and something about the handwriting on the paper caught your eye. your stomach flipped. before you could say anything, he stood up suddenly.
“ah—excuse me, i have to take this call. meet him while i step out, alright?”
and then the door opened.
you turned.
your breath left your body.
there he stood.
tall. familiar. too real to be real.
ear piercings gleaming. airpods in. hands buried in his pockets. that same effortless cool. the exact look you remembered, etched into every corner of your heart.
he smiled at you—soft, warm, and impossibly alive.
“hi,” he said, voice smooth and gentle. “i’m yeonjun. son yeonjun. please take care of me.”
your knees buckled. your lungs stopped working. your heart screamed.
“you’re real,” you whispered.
he stepped closer without hesitation, taking your face in his hands, thumbs brushing your cheeks as if he’d done it a thousand times before.
“i told you,” he murmured, his forehead resting against yours, “i was born to meet you. and i’d follow you through time. in every line. every world.”
you choked on a sob as the tears spilled over. he wiped them away with quiet tenderness.
“we were meant to find each other. no matter when. no matter where.”
your arms wrapped around him, and he pulled you close—tight, grounding, safe. you buried your face in his chest and breathed him in. he smelled like summer rain and all the moments you thought you’d lost.
he tilted your chin, looked into your eyes with infinite softness, and kissed you. gently. surely. like it was always meant to happen.
and in that kiss, everything returned—every laugh, every memory, every promise unspoken.
outside, the rain began to fall. soft. steady.
but inside the room, wrapped in his arms, you felt the warmth of a hundred summers.
pairing: choi yeonjun x fem!reader
genre: friends to lovers, non-idol au, smut, fluff
rating: nsfw, mdni
wc: 6.1k
warnings: unprotected sex, pwp (6k but most of it is smut tbh lol), softdom!yeonjun, inexperienced!reader, dry humping, oral + fingering (f receiving), squirting, petnames (baby, princess, doll, good girl, pretty girl), daddy kink (yeonjun refers to himself as daddy), spanking, creampie, multiple orgasms, light choking but not (he doesn’t squeeze), one instance of spitting, it’s established that jun is older than reader so OPPA IS USED AS AN HONORIFIC and idc if people hate it lol as a korean speaker i’m tired of westernizing shit
a/n - pls picture temptation era hair yeonjun 😵💫 this is inspired by a dream i had.. dreamt every part in his room up until the actual penetration 😮💨 cockblocked by my own brain
masterlist
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yeonjun’s sheets are soft as you sit observing his bedroom, taking note of all the little details that his strong personality shines through, the first time you’ve seen the other side of his door — though how you even got to this point in the first place is still something you’re going over and over in your head as you wait for him to come back.
his soft smile is met with your nervous one as he enters the room with two water bottles in hand, shutting the door quietly behind him — your eyes follow his lithe fingers as he turns the lock — and you watch as he places the drinks on his nightstand before turning to you.
the air suddenly feels much warmer when he sits down on the bed beside you, so close that you’re almost touching, and that fond look on his face only serves to heighten your nerves as you remember that he knows what he’s doing, and you don’t.
well… sort of.
everything happened only a few hours before.
your best friend kai had invited you to hang out with him and his roommates, a chaotic group of guys who you’ve grown to call your friends as well; even yeonjun, who you may or may not have developed the hugest crush on ever from the minute that you’d first met him.
it’d been a few months of back-and-forth, sometimes convinced that it must be mutual and other times doubting your judgement completely — has he always been this flirty, or is it your imagination when his eyes linger just a little too long? — and it was on this fateful day at their apartment when it all fell apart.
(or should you say, all came together).
everyone knows to watch out once beomgyu’s got a couple of drinks in him, so it was only a matter of time before your unlucky day came when he’d decide that you would be his glorious first victim of the afternoon; and that was exactly where you found yourself as he took it upon himself to announce to everyone in the room that you and yeonjun needed to admit you wanna fuck each other already, or else he’d “just have to do something about it himself” (whatever that meant).
to say you wanted to crawl into a ditch and die would be the biggest understatement of the century.
your wide eyes were pinned to the floor as the room erupted into multiple reactions; soobin groaning with a smack upside beomgyu’s head as he scolded the younger not to say stuff like that, taehyun’s “damn,” as he knocked back his beer to cover a laugh, kai burying his head into his hands with a shriek — he swore he didn’t mean to spill your secret to beomgyu a few weeks ago, it just slipped out — and of course, the culprit in the center laughing his ass off unphased.
the only one who had yet to say anything was…
you steeled yourself and glanced up, meeting yeonjun’s eyes that were already watching you from across the living room.
your own widened marginally.
he didn’t look disgusted. he didn’t look put off. in fact, he looked…..
your breath caught. there was a small upturn to his lips, a confirmation, the hint of a smile that solidified as he quirked a brow as if in question. as if he was asking you,
“well? what should we do about it then?”
and everything changed from there.
~
it hadn’t taken long for beomgyu’s quick-moving attention span to be directed elsewhere thanks to some faithful effort on hyuka’s part, the others following suit to spare you from the spotlight — and it was only about an hour later when you found yourself alone in the kitchen for a breather, the sounds of your friend’s quarreling and laughter slightly less eardrum-shattering now from where you stood leaning against the sink.
a few minutes passed before the sound of someone else slipping into the room grabbed your attention.
your peace quickly morphed into apprehension.
“hi,” yeonjun whispered, a small smile on his face that read somewhere between gentle and amused.
his hands were in his pockets as he came to lean casually against the counter opposite you, head tilted slightly to the side as his eyes trailed over your expression, and you cursed your mouth for going dry at the sight of him.
his simple black tank top and sweatpants combo had you fighting to keep your eyes on his face — his face, pretty and framed so nicely by silky black hair that was grown out quite a bit longer than usual these days, and you wanted nothing more than to run your fingers through it as your thighs rubbed together subconsciously.
“…hi,” you whispered back.
he breathed out a small laugh.
“i wanted to talk to you, but i didn’t want the others to hear.. figured this was a good opportunity when i saw you get up.”
“r-right..”
why am i so awkward? what the fuck? oh god wait why is he coming closer-
your hands gripped the counter behind you as yeonjun stepped forward. his voice was low, quiet, meant only for you as he stood in front of you with a look on his face that had you melting in more ways than one.
“listen... i know that we’ve never talked about this thing between us. i didn’t wanna scare you off by being too forward, but now that beomgyu ran his mouth about it…”
with a feather-light touch, yeonjun reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.
“well, i’m not gonna deny what he said, and i’m pretty sure that i’m right when i say.. i think you want me the same way that i want you.”
you felt heat running down your entire body like a zap of electricity.
your fried brain didn’t even have the chance to fully process before you heard beomgyu shout from the living room, “hey, what’s taking so long?!” and the scent of yeonjun’s cologne was like a drug as he leaned in and whispered in your ear,
“if you feel ready to see where this goes.. stay here with me when they go out.”
and just like that he was gone, random assortment of snacks in hand to avoid suspicion as he called back to beomgyu, “i’m coming, just couldn’t decide what to eat!”
and you slumped against the counter with legs like jelly.
~
you received a chorus of groans and boos when you told the guys you were gonna go home instead of joining them elsewhere for dinner and drinks, earning brief suspicion only from taehyun as he eyed you questioningly for a moment — their focus primarily resting on yeonjun’s uncharacteristic opt-out that he’d blamed on a sudden migraine.
you felt ridiculous as you even headed down the elevator with them to the street outside, going out of your way to be believable, rounding the corner towards the subway station until they were well out of sight in the opposite direction before heading back up towards the apartment.
you’d’ve been lying if you said that you didn’t consider leaving yourself; your jittery nerves and quick-beating heart nearly convincing you, until you remembered the look in yeonjun’s eyes and the wetness between your legs returned.
yeonjun, choi yeonjun, one of the most popular and charismatic guys that you know — wants you.
and now here you are on his bed.
when you think about it, in your eyes yeonjun is a lot of things that you’re not; the way he just naturally draws people in, the way he carries himself, always making friends so easily; the fact that he’s genuinely cool, somehow good at everything he does and always looks hot doing it; he’s older than you — not by much, but still — and the number one thing on your mind right now:
he’s experienced.
now you’re no virgin, but your measly 1 past boyfriend is nothing in comparison to the fact that yeonjun’s ability to please a woman is a very well-checked box on his long list of skills (if beomgyu is correct about anything he’s blabbed about, at least. which today so far he seems to be).
and now, as he sits here so close to you with that same look on his face as before, that gentle smile and amused little twinkle in his eyes — well, you know right then that you’re a goner.
“hi,” he whispers, just like he did in the kitchen earlier, and you whisper it back with a shy smile.
this is the first time you’ve ever truly been alone with him.
he looks at you for a few moments, and you wonder if this is what amoebas feel like under a microscope until he places his hand on the bed beside you and rests his weight on it, by default leaning in even closer than before.
“i like you.” he says simply.
in panic mode, you resort to sarcasm - “y-yeah-“ you clear your throat - “um, yeah, i think we established that.”
his laugh sends tingles through you as a real smile not stricken with awkwardness finally blooms on your face, the ice slowly melting for you as you start to remember that right, okay, he’s a friend and not some unreachable deity (for the most part, at least).
“i.. like you too,” you respond sheepishly, and you bite your lip at the underlying shift in his tone as he keeps his eyes locked on yours and says,
“i know.”
the mood has suddenly deepened into something else.
his hand comes up to your cheek, thumb ghosting over your bottom lip as he murmurs, “is this okay?” and you don’t know when his face got so close to yours but your eyes are already threatening to flutter shut as you hum in response, lidded gaze glued to his full, pretty lips that you want so desperately all over your body.
“words, baby.” his voice is a whisper, breath warm against your lips, his own so close now that you can almost feel them —
“y-yes.”
and just like that, choi yeonjun is kissing you.
whatever you thought a real kiss was supposed to feel like, whatever kisses you had felt with your ex —
none of it compared to this.
you feel his smile when you quietly moan, his lips even softer than you had imagined, moving against yours slowly, deliberately, expertly, the hand that had been on your cheek sliding gently to the back of your neck as he deepens the kiss.
his tongue is warm and soft as it traces along your bottom lip, and you don’t care how eager you probably seem as you let it in immediately, trying not to moan again as he slips it past your lips to caress yours; you melt as he sucks lightly on your tongue before giving a teasing, gentle bite to your bottom lip as he pulls away.
you can’t even imagine how dazed you must look — but his knowing smile tells you enough.
you can’t explain it, but in that moment you gain a hunger-fueled confidence. you want to give yeonjun everything.
fuck, you want him bad.
you’re pulling him back to you faster than you can chicken out otherwise, and the pleased noise he makes as you connect your lips again only spurs you on further to do what you’ve been so badly wanting to:
you touch him, hands sliding from his shoulders up to his soft hair, pulling at it gently as his lips travel down your jaw to suckle at the skin of your neck; you moan, freely this time, eyes sliding shut and head tilting back to give him all the access he wants as you wrap an arm around his shoulders and keep him close.
his hand slides around your waist to your lower back as he slowly guides you down to lay against his sheets, your legs instinctively widening for him as he slots his hips between them, and you groan at the bulge now resting comfortably against your clothed core.
it doesn’t take long before he gently rocks his hips forwards.
you whimper, clutching to his tank top as he continues to kiss and suckle along your neck; your legs tighten around his hips and his lips tilt into a smirk against your skin as your body responds to his like it’s what it was made for, and so he does it again, this time continuing into a steady rocking pace.
the hardness of his cock drags deliciously against your center as he rolls his hips into it again and again, slow enough so that you feel everything, but firm enough that it makes your head spin and your thighs twitch with need.
“oppa,” you whisper, pleadingly, and you don’t even know what you’re asking for but you know that you just need more.
“hm?” he hums back, lips still sucking pretty bruises into your neck,
and it’s like he can read your mind as he asks with another smirk against your skin - “want more, baby?”
you nod quickly with a weak, “mhm,” and your heart jumps as his lips move up to your ear.
“tell oppa what you want.”
the husk of his voice sends shivers straight downwards.
he pulls away just enough for you to meet his eyes and you feel like a rabbit hunted down by a fox, but in your case, you never want to escape from his grasp.
“i.. i-i want…”
you can feel the heat blooming in your cheeks, remembering once again how much you haven’t experienced, and you want to tell him exactly where you want him to put his mouth — but instead your eyes avert from his as you mumble in admission,
“i-i’ve never been… well i’ve never been eaten out before. s-so.. um..”
in your peripheral you can see yeonjun’s brows lift to his hairline in disbelief. “what?”
a finger beneath your chin gently draws your gaze back to his and the genuine bewilderment in his eyes is enough to deepen your blush as he asks, “how could that bastard have possibly survived never tasting you?”
your body buzzes with electricity as your eyes widen; there’s a hunger and determination dancing in yeonjun’s stare that you’ve never been looked at with before.
his intensity makes you shiver in anticipation and it’s like you can taste the honey dripping from his words when he says,
“let me make you feel good, baby. let me give you everything that he should’ve.”
your head spins.
you’ve never felt so desired.
the second that you say okay, yeonjun places one last dizzying kiss to your lips before he’s moving down your body, guiding you out of your shirt as he slowly maps out your skin with his lips — you breathe out a sigh at the way his large hands caress you, intentionality in every touch.
eventually he sits up on his knees, pulling back from a kiss to your navel to reach for the hem of your panties. you shiver when his fingers ghost over your hips.
“lift for me,” he instructs softly, and you do, biting your lip as he begins to slowly pull them down, eyes glued to your cunt, and you watch the way his breath hitches in his throat at the strings of wetness that cling to the fabric.
“fuck,” he whispers, practically groans,
“can’t believe no one’s ever tasted such a pretty pussy before… gonna eat you so good, baby..”
you’re going out of your mind with need, his words alone sending another gush of arousal to your heat, your hungry eyes traveling down to trace the imprint of his rock-hard cock in his sweatpants.
teasingly you ghost your foot over it as he slides your panties from your ankles, and his eyes flicker up to yours as you stare back innocently; his gaze narrows and lips quirk up into a lopsided smirk as his warm hands slide up your legs.
“getting brave, now, are we?” he taunts, stopping at your thighs as he wraps his hands around them and spreads your legs open.
slowly he lowers himself between them, all the while keeping his eyes on yours, and your hips jump at the whisper of his breath against your aching cunt when he says,
“better be careful, doll… any game you try to play, i can play it better.”
and when his fingers spread you open and his lips kiss your clit, you already know that he’s ruined you for any other man.
how could you even dream of anyone else when the tip of yeonjun’s velvety tongue slips out to trace teasingly up and down your slit, or when the pad of his finger circles so lightly around your leaking hole that you might even be imagining it?
no, there’s no way you could be imagining this, not as the warmth of his mouth caresses you as he closes his lips around your clit and gently begins to suck, your head tipping back with a shudder as you whine at the feeling.
“eyes on me, princess,” he murmurs against your cunt, and when you manage to bring your gaze back to his, the sight before you is sinful.
his foxlike eyes dark and dangerous and twinkling as he watches you through his lashes, pretty lips forming a smirk that you can only feel and not see as he whispers “good girl,” - before the next thing you know, his tongue is flattening against you as he licks a firm stripe up your pussy, big hands keeping your jerking hips in place as he begins to ravish you, sucking, licking, kissing, groaning shamelessly at the taste of you and sending vibrations straight through your quivering core as you unravel beneath his touch.
“so fucking good,” he moans, sliding a finger inside of you with ease as he begins to pump it steadily in and out, practically making out with your pussy as you whimper, hands instinctively flying to his hair — you almost pull them away when suddenly he adds another digit, the stretch causing your fingers to tighten in his dark strands as your hips instinctively grind forwards against his mouth.
you’re about to apologize when yeonjun moans even deeper than before.
“that’s it, baby,” he grunts, “use my face. want it so bad, don’t you? go ahead and chase it, cum all over daddy’s tongue.”
something unholy snaps inside of you at that.
“f-fuck-” you cry, doing exactly as he said; you can’t help it as you grind your clit down on his warm tongue over and over and over, hands tightening in his hair as his fingers work impossibly faster, and a new sensation takes over you as the dam breaks and you reach your peak;
you don’t realize what’s happening at first as you’re carried through the most mind-blowing orgasm, until you feel the unusual amount of wetness soaking his sheets and hear yeonjun groaning “fuck, fuck, that’s it, baby, that’s it -“ and he’s three fingers deep as you realize you’re squirting.
it’s as though he can read your body like a book the way he can tell when it’s suddenly too much, his pace slowing gradually until he gently slides his fingers from your sopping hole, placing a final feather-light kiss to your clit before his lips and hands move to soothe your quivering thighs.
“you did so good, baby, holy shit..” the bottom half of his face is soaked in your juices as he mouths along your skin, hands massaging and caressing whatever his lips aren’t kissing;
you’re still bewildered, and can feel the raging blush on your cheeks as you’re quick to blurt in embarrassment, “i-i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to-“
“y/n.” yeonjun looks up. “seriously, that was so fucking hot, you have no idea.”
you can see in his eyes that he’s telling the truth.
“r-really?”
he laughs, finally sitting up; “baby, i- fuck, like, you actually have no fucking idea how sexy you are.” he pushes his hair out of his face and it’s only then that you realize how heavy he’s breathing, the bulge straining against his pants somehow a million times more prominent than it was earlier.
“y/n, i’m so turned on right now that i can hardly think straight. please-“
you meet his eyes again quickly,
“please, i need to be inside you.”
apparently today is the day that you learn just how crazy choi yeonjun makes you, because despite your still-twitching thighs and your pussy so sensitive that you’re sure a slight breeze would send it into overdrive, your body is quick to betray you at his toe-curling words when your walls clench from the emptiness and a fresh wave of arousal gushes from your soaked heat.
“if you don’t fuck me right now i’m gonna go clinically insane.”
his brows lift only for a moment before he’s laughing, swooping down to catch your lips in a kiss. “well we can’t have that, now, can we?”
he gets off the bed, your eyes hungrily tracking his every move as he peels the tank top from his torso and casts it to the ground; “fuck,” you whisper as your gaze trails down the defined ridges of his abs; “fuck,” you groan when he hooks his thumbs around the waistband of his sweatpants and pulls them down with his boxers in one go.
his cock is long and slender and flushed pink, the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen as you imagine the weight of it in your mouth.
if it were anyone else, you’d wanna slap the shit-eating grin right off of his face, but this is yeonjun, and the fact that he knows he’s all that only makes him 10x hotter.
you can’t tear your eyes away from his length as you sit up on your elbows to watch, and he enjoys it, pumping himself in his hand and smearing the pre-cum around his tip with a satisfied hum.
but as he reaches for the condoms in his desk drawer, you surprise both him and yourself when you stop him.
“no.”
he pauses, looking over his shoulder at you with quirked brows —
“want you to fuck me raw.”
his mouth goes dry. you can see the fire dancing in his eyes as he slowly straightens, keeping himself under control as he asks carefully,
“are you sure?”
you bite your lip and quickly nod. “wanna feel you,” you breathe, and that does it for yeonjun as he’s back on top of you in an instant, his lips pressing to yours in a searing kiss as you moan around his swirling tongue.
his hand is on your throat, not squeezing, just resting there as if to say you’re mine, and you whine deep in your chest when you feel the tip of his cock sliding through your slippery folds.
“gonna fuck this pretty pussy so full of my cum that it’ll be dripping out of it for days,” he rasps as he taps the head of his cock repeatedly over your clit, the lewd noise met with your whimpers as you grasp at his bicep.
“please,” you whine, “want it, please-!”
his hand slides from your neck down to squeeze your tit as he sits up and hooks one of your legs over his shoulder with his free hand.
“so good for me,” he murmurs, eyes half-lidded and lusting as he looks down at you, dragging his shaft back and forth along your slick pussy; “such a good girl, begging for daddy.”
and when he finally pushes the head of his cock past your entrance, stretching you open as he sinks inside, stars explode behind your eyes and you nearly cum again right there on the spot.
“fuuck..” he groans in a drawn-out moan, eyes sliding shut and head tipping back as your walls suck him in, mouth falling open before he catches his plush bottom lip between his teeth and looks back down at you through hazy eyes, giving another rough squeeze to your tit in his grasp.
he slides his hand down to press against your lower belly as he bottoms out, your hips twitching as you gasp, and with his other hand he grips your leg that’s slung over his shoulder as he begins to grind his hips against yours.
you can’t breathe, can’t speak, overwhelmed by how fucking good it all feels, the head of his cock massaging places inside of you that you didn’t even know existed as he rolls his hips over and over, whispering fucked-out nothings;
how tight you are, how good you feel, how he’s gonna make you forget your own name by tomorrow.
and when he starts really moving, hips separating from yours only to connect again with a lewd slap of skin on skin each time he delivers a slow, firm thrust to your cunt, holding you in place so you don’t jolt up the bed — well, you never knew that something so delicious existed, and now that you’ve had a taste, you’re already rendered insatiable.
you paw at any part of him that you can reach, hands finding purchase on his thighs as his pace picks up into a steady rhythm, your lips moaning and pleading and begging around words that you can hardly get out of your mouth.
“look at you,” yeonjun coos breathlessly, “so drunk on my cock already.. perfect pussy made just for me, hm? taking daddy so well? good baby.”
he looks as blissed out as you feel, face wracked in pleasure as he picks up the pace, his hand so large where it still presses over your lower belly that his thumb is able to reach your clit, and the added stimulation along with the pressure of his palm sends your head lolling as you twitch and tremble underneath him.
“j-jjunie..!” you whimper, and you can’t help the nickname from slipping between your lips; you’ve never called him so intimately before, never said his name so freely, but your accidental drop of honorifics seems to stir something inside of him as he groans and fucks you harder;
“say that again,” he grunts as you gasp out from the sudden increase in pace.
“jjunie,” you keen immediately, gripping the sheets, gripping his arms, gripping anything as a muttered curse leaves his lips and his thumb circles faster around your aching clit.
“love it when you say my name, fuck,” he groans, hips slamming into yours and jolting you like a ragdoll as you cry out for him, the knot in your stomach tightening so fast that you swear it’s about to snap, and when he leans forward with your leg still gripped over his shoulder and his cock pounding into you at a far deeper angle than before, fireworks fill your vision as you cum around him harder than you’ve ever came in your life.
“yes, yes, yes, fuck, that’s it, cream on my cock, baby, fuck you’re so- s-so tight, fuck- just like that, let go for me, baby, good girl-“
yeonjun’s voice sounds far away as you spasm around him, his thrusts growing sloppier as your cunt clenches him so tight that it nearly forces him out; he lowers your leg back down to the bed and slows down a little to let you catch your breath but he doesn’t stop, and your watery whimpers are like music to his ears as you clutch onto him desperately.
“t-too much, too much-!” you hiccup, tears spilling from your eyes at all the overwhelming sensations, but you don’t actually want him to stop and he knows it too — he coos at you, hand sliding up to rest on your throat again as he leans down and licks a stripe up your neck to your ear.
“you can give me one more, baby, can’t you?”
a shiver rolls down your spine at the devilish smile in his voice, sweet like honey as he catches your earlobe between his teeth.
“one more so daddy can stuff you nice and full.”
your pussy clenches. “w-want your cum,” you whimper dumbly in response, too fucked out to think of anything else, and yeonjun smiles as he leans back and runs his hands down your body until they reach your hips and squeeze.
“i know,” his thrusts are still steady as he watches you with twinkling eyes; “and i’m gonna give it to you.”
your eyes widen in protest as he suddenly slides out of you without a warning, but the words die in your throat and are replaced with a squeak of surprise when he flips you over onto your stomach instead.
“ass up for me, pretty girl.”
you obey immediately with what strength you have left in your shaky limbs, a quiet whine escaping your throat over not being able to see or touch him anymore.
his little laugh from behind you indicates that he caught it.
“don’t worry, baby,” he soothes as his hands massage over your ass, “we have all the time in the world.”
your heart doesn’t even have time to skip a beat at the promise of his words when suddenly his tongue is on your pussy, your knees nearly buckling at the heat of his mouth as he licks from your clit up to your fluttering hole, and you gasp as he spits on it before his cock enters you fully in one single thrust.
you cry out, knees buckling for real this time as he holds you up, sheets crumpled in your fists as his hips immediately pick up into a quick, dizzying pace.
“love the way you fall apart around me,” he murmurs from behind you, squeezing your ass, “love how you take me so well…”
you want to touch him so badly, want to see the pleasure pooling in his eyes; you don’t have time to respond before he lands a smack on your ass, your surprised squeak spurring him on as he does it again, drilling into your cute little hole like it was made just for him as he breathes out a moan.
from this angle he can see the way your pussy swallows him so hungrily, and his grip on your hips tightens as he drags you back and forth on his cock.
“love.. l-love your.. love this so much… w-wanna be yours…”
he almost misses your dazed mumbling over the loud sound of his hips slapping lewdly against your ass, but he makes out what you said, heart swelling in his chest and cock simultaneously twitching inside of you as he leans forward, his palm sliding up along your spine to brush the hair from your fucked-out face as he pushes your body down against the sheets, chest pressed to your back now and breath caressing your ear as he continues rocking his hips even deeper.
“you’re mine, baby, you’re mine..” he whispers between kisses along your jaw, a reassurance, your soft whimper of a response causing him to bite back a smile as he continues,
“i’ve wanted you for so long.. can’t believe i finally get to have you.” his hand slips beneath you to toy with your throbbing clit, and your ass grinds back against him as a result as you moan wantonly into his sheets.
“i’ve been yours since the.. fuck.. since the second i s-saw you..fuck, p-please don’t stop..!”
your hips are moving with his now as he works your clit faster, mustering your strength and pushing your weight back as you desperately try to fuck yourself on his cock, on his fingers, chasing the rising wave in your belly that’s threatening to break as he meets your quickening movements with his own.
“touch yourself for me, baby,” he murmurs in your ear before removing his hand and propping himself up on his forearms, allowing for a more concentrated angle as he ruts into you, your choked moan muffled by the sheets as you immediately slide one hand down to rub rapidly at your clit, your other one weakly moving to tangle your fingers with his the best that you can;
“gonna cum, gonna cum,” you whimper, drool pooling at your lips, the scent of yeonjun’s cologne and the weight of his body on yours like pure intoxication as he fucks you harder, breaths heavy and staggering in your ear as he grunts,
“cum for me, baby, need to feel it, cum all over my fucking cock-“
and when your third orgasm washes over you, you’re too weak to do anything but let it, body going limp as it wracks over you in pure bliss, the warm feeling of your clenching walls finally sending yeonjun over the edge this time as he shoots his cum into you with a loud and drawn-out moan, voice breaking as he spews filthy words and incoherent curses; he presses his hips impossibly deep against yours before stuttering into sloppy thrusts to fuck himself through the rest of his orgasm as your fluttering pussy milks his cock of every last drop.
the room grows silent save for your heavy breaths, both of your chests heaving as his forehead slumps down to rest against your back; you didn’t realize how tightly you were holding onto his hand until you carefully untangle your fingers from his.
he hisses from the sensitivity as he slides his twitching length out of you.
you look at yeonjun as he rolls off of your back and flops exhaustedly onto his side next to you, and when he meets your eyes, there’s only a passing moment of silence before you both giggle.
his smile is fond and blooming with affection as he rubs a hand up and down your back, moving to smoothe the hair from your face and gently brushing his knuckles across your cheek before resting his hand on top of yours.
“hi,” he whispers.
you giggle again.
“hi,” you whisper back.
“so.. would this be a good time to ask you to be my girlfriend?”
your heart skips a beat and you bite back a smile. “i was worried you’d just want to stick to the sex..” you admit.
yeonjun shakes his head, lips forming into an endearing pout as he laces his fingers with yours.
“nah, you’re stuck with me now, princess,” he grins. “i meant what i said… i’ve been wanting you for so long.”
an indescribable feeling flutters in your chest as you giddily turn your head to bury your face in the sheets, yeonjun laughing as he shuffles closer, rolling you over onto your back despite your giggle-ridden, poorly-executed attempts to fight him off.
you grin up at him and he grins down at you, hovering over you now with a hand on your cheek as his endeared eyes trail over each of your features as if to memorize them.
“my girl,” he whispers, tucking your hair behind your ear.
you tilt your head up to meet his lips when he leans in and kisses you softly, your hands playing with the long hair at the nape of his neck.
“i meant what i said too,” you murmur against him.
“mine since the second you saw me, huh?” yeonjun’s cocky grin is light and teasing as you scrunch your nose at him, flicking his forehead and sending him into another pout.
“yeah, yeah. whatever, pretty boy.”
instead of responding he buries his face in your neck in a flurry of kisses as you squeal in surprise, laughing as you wiggle around underneath him;“stop, that tickles!”
“gotta make up for all the lost time when i didn’t make a move,” he reasons as his kisses move to your cheeks, your nose, your lips — you’ve never seen this side of yeonjun before, so soft and gentle and sweet; the fact that it seems reserved only for you sends butterflies fluttering through your tummy.
you spend your evening like that, wrapped in each other’s arms as you talk about your relationship, talk about the feelings that led you here, talk about this and that and everything in-between;
“does this count as our first date?” you ask quizzically. he wrinkles his nose.
“no way, i’m gonna do the most romantic shit ever for that.”
you snort. “isn’t that what this is?”
but you don’t have the chance to tease him any further when the beeping sound of his apartment passcode being entered causes you both to freeze.
you were so caught up that neither of you considered the time; nor the fact that yeonjun does indeed have 4 other roommates who would in fact be coming home at some point or another.
that some point apparently being now as the rowdy chatter of your friends erupts into the foyer until you suddenly hear soobin’s tipsy mumble. “what the… what are y/n’s shoes doing here?”
you and yeonjun turn to look at each other as your friends’ voices fall silent.
the seconds pass and you almost wonder if you’re in the clear…
but of course, no peace lasts forever with beomgyu in the house.
“OH MY GOD,” he screams.
“THEY FUCKED!”
but i still want you. @jungkook-imagines - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
