Hi there! It’s been… a few years? A lot has changed for me, as I finish college. Labels have shifted: I’m bisexual and certainly on the aro spectrum. I don’t know if I’d consider myself demisexual anymore— or even acespec!
It’s what’s so interesting and fun about exploring your identity. I love looking back on this blog: it’s a time capsule for me. I don’t really have many interest in posting here, but I’ll certainly leave the blog open! Everyone was so sweet, and I’m amazed by how many people found comfort in this blog, you are all wonderful.
I’m now over at @dovelyduckling if you wish to say hi! I’ll probably be cross-sharing posts from there and my writing blog @vveragowrite to this blog— especially when there’s queer, arospec, and acespec writing!
"... but today, I was something they had never seen before. A monster. A miracle."
- Siren Queen by Nghi Vo
༄༄ 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝
Originally, I had picked Siren Queen by Nghi Vo for its aesthetic.
Yes, I’m a human who succumbs to marketing choices and superficial beauty of covers.
However, what I found was a true gem, and it speaks volumes of the artistic decisions of this cover that I was able to pick it up. In a way, I’m thankful. Otherwise, I would have missed out on a beautiful story about what we do for our dreams and the obstacles and choices that come with it.
༄༄ 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝
(Warning for spoilers ahead)
Told through a memoire, Siren Queen is Luli Wei’s voice and the story she has to tell. Vo’s writing style made Luli feel real. Here was a woman who tells you how it is: her thoughts, her opinions, her reasonings. She tells you enough as it is without needing to drive a point to the ground that I appreciate as a reader.
Luli Wei isn’t a good person. She knows the mistakes she makes and makes it incredibly clear, yet I continued to want to root for her. I wanted to see how her story unfolds and how she grew into her success. When reading, I entered the world as a different kind of spectator. I became Luli Wei’s audience– one of her adoring fans wanting to know about her rise to stardom.
I neglected mentioning another reason why I decided to read this book. In truth, I’ve been obsessed with the Hollywood Golden age and stories of it, which influenced my choice in picking up this novel. Listening to Singing in the Rain’s soundtrack, wistfully remembering Sound of Music’s scenes, primed me for more media on the Hollywood setting. Despite the plethora of novels and movies that romanize and dramatize the life of actors in this era, Siren Queen offers a new perspective– one not often told in this setting. Luli Wei's story is about the life of a Chinese woman in the film industry. The novel treats the prejudice and racism she faces with seriousness and a personal understanding of the matter. It’s a part of her everyday life, whether it is stated directly or exists subtly.
It also improves on the genre with its magic realism. Magic exists so naturally in this universe. I understood the magic was real without needing explanations because it was written so seamlessly. It’s an everyday thing, just as much as any science. It’s never “in-your-face” or made a big deal; it’s another fact of this universe. It adds to the mystic behind Hollywood– a metaphor for the already existing intrigue of that type of life.
Her story with her family was so heart-wrenching and familiar– full of hurt and love. She lived a life that felt lonely and exhausting to her. She’s dealing with losing her Chinese identity–by giving up Cantonese, her family– in favor of the blinding beauty that is Hollywood– one she fights throughout the book to not be excluded from her race.
Her relationship with her little sister is all too real and incredibly interesting. They love each other deeply, understand one another, and no one else will understand the laundry or the trauma they’ve gone through from their father, and mother. The lesson of sisterhood and forgiveness was one of the most powerful ways the book ended the climax. Luli stole her sister’s name, abandoned her, and it torments her the entire time. It’s in subtle ways, and Luli always makes a point to mention it throughout the novel– signalling the emotional stress it causes her.
It’s only when she’s at her breaking point in the movie industry that she runs away in search of her sister– her home she has lost despite it existing so close. She attempts to reconcile, to right the wrongs she’s done, to love the person who understands her entirely. It was beautiful that Luli (the real Luli) forgave her but set boundaries. The option to become a part of each other’s lives was given to her court, and she’s skeptical but open to the idea. It was my favorite way the novel fulfilled Luli’s story, and was the perfect set up for the rest of the novel.
In fact, it’s deeply involved in Luli’s journey to realize who she wants to be as an actress. Throughout, she’s been drifting, having goals and ideas of what not to be and what she could be, but never truly deciding for herself. The outer perception of her racial identity puts her in a box. She goes along with others ideas: Jacko, Greta, Emmeline, the Pipeline… However, it’s after her trip to see her sister again, where she really chooses for herself and breaks from the box. She gives herself options: knowing who she does not want to be, but allowing the opportunity to do something she loves.
And, she enjoyed being a monster, the Siren Queen.
Speaking of love mentioned with her sister, let’s talk about the other types of love Luli’s relationships tell. I was in awe of the queer romances in this novel, and had not expected it! They were written with so much dedication and love towards the queer woman experience. None were the same, all different forms of the same love, and I adored how they crossed over in various ways. Luli finding a friend in the two of them in the end was beautiful.
And, I appreciated how her endgame relationship with Jane is in the margins and the ending. It signals that the love she shares with her is for them alone– that Hollywood cannot get this one thing for itself because it’s for Luli to share on her own terms, just as she’s gained the ability to make her job her own.
Overall, Siren Queen is a glorious read. Luli had so much to say and tell, and I enjoyed all of it. It was one of those books I was excited to read every time I woke up. Seriously. My routine would be: make tea, complete my Animal Crossing: New Horizon chores, then bury my head into this book until I was hungry for breakfast (or running late to class). I absolutely, honestly, cannot recommend it enough.
Random pop in to gush about how much I LOVE the ace spec and aro spec flags. They’re just so aesthetically pleasing!! The green and blue for the arospec flag is like a sea foam feel and the ace spec purple and pink is so soft to look at
Hey, I hope you're doing well. If you would be able to share my emergency commissions/donation post it would make my day! https://lifeisfullofsimplepleasures.tumblr.com/post/679628550656196608/help-out-a-trans-dude-recovering-from-top-surgery
Of course, king!!
It’s been a while since I’ve posted but I’m always up to help,, so I’m sending my support to you!!
So, does aromantic count as part of LGBTQ+? I have tried looking it up, but no real answers.
hi,
I'm going to assume that you're pretty new to the queer community - aromantic absolutely counts as part of LGBTQ+. The plus, among other things, includes QIA - questioning, intersex, and asexual/aromantic/agender.
that said, there is a portion of this community who believe that the LGBT (or, some of them will use LGB, or strictly gay) community should be more exclusionary than it is. These folks often are... frankly, not arguing that in good faith. They typically will argue that same-sex attraction defines being part of the queer community, that queer itself is actually a slur and shouldn't be used (nevermind how gay, likewise, is historically a slur), and that trans individuals shouldn't be part of the community. The goal is to cut everything down back to a gay/straight dichotomy (some new to the movement will argue that they include bi women; this is a genuine belief for some, but most will move to what is called "lesbian separatism"). This movement is old, and extremely disliked and outright hated by basically everyone outside of their often cult-like system. Notably, it is largely run by white women who view the patriarchy as the sole source of all bigotry and problems. They call themselves many names, often depending on how far into this they are-
typically, "anti-pan", exclusionist, radfem (radical feminist), 2nd wave feminist, TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist), and lesbian separatist is the current order. They find whomever they believe has the weakest support in the queer community and try to force them out via death threats, suicide bait, and "discourse" that is often carried out only within their circles, creating reasons to hate their targets.
I hope this explanation helps. To make my opinion clear, I think any position except full inclusionism is a fantastic sign to leave that space fast, and block them.
Demisexual culture is not having a preference but also technically having a preference (my "preference" is "people that would be easier to feel closer to")
It’s always a good time to find ways to connect with other ace and aro people!
[ID: A light orange square with black text and the TAAAP logo in the upper right corner. On the right side is a graphic of a group of people hugging and facing forward, all wearing green or purple clothes. The text reads “Why Join an Aspec Group? To compare experiences and learn more about the identities that you share, as well as the variety of experiences within ace and aro spectrums to gain greater understanding about them. To bask in the wonderful presence of other aspec people who won’t try to set you up with someone for amatonormative reasons.To discover how to create a life that you want, rather than one dictated by social norms To meet some of the coolest people you’ll ever know!” End ID.]
Made a demisexual flag bracelet! My cousin and my friend both came out as demisexual recently, so I made them both bracelets. I'm going to put it on my Etsy (the Rainbow String) if anyone wants one!
This pattern has so many backward-forward and forward-backward knots. I kinda hated it while making it but also the texture is pretty cool and I did eventually manage to do a complete iteration of the pattern without having to unpick anything.
Demisexual culture is telling your mom you’re Demi and her saying “isn’t that how all people are” like mom got something to tell us
Almost no one talks about the asexual spectrum so the first time I explained demisexuality to my best friend she was like “wait... there’s a name for this?” Maybe there are loads more acespec people out there, but they just don’t know it even exists. Which is sad
Sorry for the lack of posts! My schedule is getting pretty full rn (now that summer’s over) so my attention isn’t on this blog as much! I will get a queue started tomorrow!
