Be Brave

In May of 2011, I was flown out to California as a casting finalist for season 12 of NBC's Biggest Loser. After being sent home, I managed to lose a considerable amount of weight on my own. I still have a lot more to lose and I hope that this blog will help me keep track of my progress and keep me accountable as I work towards my goal.

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Getting close to my -100 pound mark!

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“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” #bebrave .

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If I'm not posting on here daily, it's not because I've fallen off the wagon. It's because I'm too busy getting fit. All of my focus is entirely on this goal. At 4:30 am, I wake up to go running. Afterwards I eat my first meal, typically egg whites or a whey protein shake. If I'm lucky, I can squeeze in a short nap before having to get ready for work. At my job, I get a fifteen minute break every two hours and an hour lunch break. I spend my fifteen minute breaks dashing to the break room to microwave my prepared meal. I scarf it down as fast as humanly possible and then run back to my work. On my hour lunch break, I eat while planning wedding stuff online or spend my hour doing monotonous errands like online billing. After work, I eat again, head to the gym for weights, eat another time and spend maybe a half hour watching Netflix with my fiancée before inevitably passing out on our brown microfiber couch. I'm completely consumed by this process. It's all I do, and as overwhelming as it may seem, I'm beginning to settle into it nicely. My fiancée Christi, who has never trained before in her life, has become a fantastic partner for me during all of this. I don't think she ever truly understood how hard the process was for me until she had to restrict herself of her favorite foods or wake up ridiculously early to go to the gym. This process has made us closer as a couple and has become a fantastic way to strengthen our relationship before marriage. I will try to post on here as much as possible, but if I do not post as frequently as I would like, know that I am busy getting my work done. Know that I'm brave again, and I'm sprinting towards the finish line. Know that the powerful play is going on, and I am contributing a tremendous verse. #bebrave

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The only saving grace I have in my salt-free diet is Mrs Dash. The seasonings and marinades help add some zing to an otherwise tasteless meal. Still haven't found anything that truly replaces the taste of salt, although the Dash Chipotle seasoning comes pretty close.

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My New Flavor Free Lifestyle

Now, I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to make a declaration of resurrection without first getting my feet wet. I've spent the last week waking up before the sun, going to the gym, drinking a gallon of water a day, eating 7-8 meals a day of perfectly measured un-salted, un-sugared food and without indulging in any carbs, fruit or dairy products. I've been going ham, for sho! The first few days of this extreme diet and fitness regimen were rough to say the least. Initial cravings made it difficult to stay focused. I'VE NEVER WANTED BREAD SO BADLY. It took a few days To ease into this new lifestyle. Now my body is completely on board with this. After 6 days of eating relatively tasteless food, I finally tried to cheat a little but ended up feeling sick for the rest of the night. This is my new diet and I'm beginning to see the benefits of it. After full week of tireless dedication I've lost a total of 9 pounds. In a week I went from 162lbs to 153lbs Which I really should be excited about, right? After stepping off the scale this morning I should have felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment... but truthfully, I'm a bit blasé about it all. I mean, 9 pounds in one week is incredible, but at 253lbs, I'm still 13 pounds away from reaching my -100 pound mark and 54lbs away from One-derland. How can feel proud when there's so much work left to do? I of course won't be able to keep this momentum up. With cutting salt from my diet, It's more than likely Ive just been losing water weight. Whats the most. is that when you're as big as I am, you can lose 9 pounds and still not feel any smaller. I still feel big. Maybe that's when I'll celebrate... when I feel closer to the normality I'm so desperate for. Hmm... Well until then, ill keep my head up, stay focused and keep working. There's no turning back for me now. #bebrave .

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The Resurrection

I was going to write a very lengthy explanation as to why I've been so absent from this blog, but truthfully it's kind of a mouth full and I don't feel like it. Long story short: I worked really hard, got exhausted, took a break that ended up being much longer than I first anticipated, and struggled to find my way back. Or maybe I just re-prioritized. I did a lot of growing up this past year that had nothing to do with weight loss. I got more responsibilities at work, I got a gorgeous new apartment and with the exception of my cell phone bill (I'm not losing my grandfathered data plan) I'm pretty financially independent. Oh, and I also got engaged. That's a pretty important one actually. I proposed a little over a month ago to the most wonderful person I've ever known. By far, the most adult decision I've ever made. So with all this maturing happening and a very big wedding steadily approaching, I can't help but to look back at this blog and feel a sense of guilt. Yeah, overall, i have lost a lot of weight. During my weight loss sabbatical I was lucky enough to only gain back a few pounds. I'm not nearly as fat as I was... BUT, I'm not nearly as fit as I could be. A stopped half way through. I left my work incomplete. I'm unfinished. I stopped by woods on a snowy evening and it was peaceful and beautiful and rejuvenating and as my eyes began to close, I caught a glimpse of the promise I had engraved onto my left wrist. This isn't where I stop. I have miles to go before I sleep. Shame on me for trying to nap while there's work to be done. I have 10 months to get as fit as possible for my wedding. Lets see what I can do. #justbebrave .

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It's been a while. A lot of ups and downs, but I'm still doing ok. I'm still brave. And I think seeing this #beforeandafter has helped me see all that I am, and all I hope to be. #bebrave

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Do I still look like my passport photo?

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Halloween 2011 vs Halloween 2012 

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Haven't done a before and after in a while... really puts things in perspective. #bebrave (Taken with Instagram)

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This time last year I was wearing size 48 jeans. I tried on these 34's today and cried when I realized they fit... It may not mean nothing to y'all, but understand nothing was done for me. So I don't plan on stopping at all. I want this forever, man. #bebrave (Taken with Instagram)

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I'm 10 pounds away from hitting my -100 pound mark. Who wants to celebrate when I get there? #bebrave (Taken with Instagram)

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Still blows my mind that my shirt size doesn't have four x's attached to it. (Taken with Instagram)

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Ain't nothing but a grape thing, baby. (Taken with Instagram)

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A scar means, I survived. #littlebee (Taken with Instagram)

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that's the good stuff (Taken with Instagram)

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Cross Country Road Trip Complete!

So I know I've been beyond MIA, but that's only because i've been on an amazing cross country road trip. It was such a blast exploring America and forgetting about the world for a little while. My girlfriend and I made our way from Orlando, FL to Bar Harbor, ME and back again. We went through 15 different states and stopped at a dozen places along the way. It was the perfect trip. 

I weighed myself before my trip to discover I hadn't lost a single pound in June. I should of been devastated, but I was just so happy that I didn't gain any weight. I haven't weighed myself post road trip. I suppose to leave myself in suspense. I honestly tried to eat as healthy as possible considering I was in a car for 16 hours a day. I filled a cooler with fruit and healthy snacks. I stuck with water and Gatorade for most of the trip and ate mostly at Subways when we stopped for food. 

That doesn't mean I was perfect the entire trip. Did I have lobster while in Maine? Of course! Ice cream on the Jersey boardwalk? Yup! A cheesesteak while passing through Philadelphia? Duh. Local cuisine is all apart of the experience and I don't feel guilty at all for partaking in a few of America's finest dinning experiences.  

The entire trip was such a life highlight and I wish I never had to come home.

But I am home again and It's time to get back on my grind. 

The worst thing to do when your loosing weight is to stop and start again. It's much easier to go to the gym five days in a row then once every two weeks. You get comfortable and lazy and never want to start again.

I didn't REALLY workout while on my road trip. Truthfully I didn't have the time for it. I was always driving. So it feels like I'm starting over. 

For those in this same position, I encourage you to just start doing it. Get up, walk through the front door of the gym and do as much as you feel like doing. Even if its only for 15 minutes. Then do the same thing the next day. That's all it takes. You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. 

I'm starting today, again. I know it won't be easy, but i've come so far! I've got miles to go before I sleep. I can't stop now. Its gonna suck now, but how amazing will it be when it's all over and I can say I DID IT! 

I'll leave you with a few pics from my trip. 

Seriously, if you have the time, do this! You won't regret it! 

#bebrave

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