READ ME FIRST BEFORE INTERACTING

I’m just gonna come right out and announce WHO I am. So if you hate people like me DO NOT INTERACT! I love Disney movies and Onward is my favourite, so when I draw any Disney stuff it’s mostly likely gonna be Onward stuff. I also tend to self ship and I ship my lonely butt with Barley. So if you’re one of those people who are like “Ew self ship is cringe” don’t interact with me or if you’re like “Only I can self ship with Barley or if you ship him with someone else and hate me for it” don’t interact with me. I am cool with y’all shipping Barley with someone else (as long as it isn’t inc*st) but if you’re gonna be like “THIS SHIP IS BETTER THAN YOURS” don’t talk to me. I have a right to self ship just like everyone else does. I have a very dark sense of humour so some of my comics or drawings might be a bit much to some viewers but there will always be a warning. Sometimes I draw things with dark themes in general cause I’m just messed up but again that will have a warning, I enjoy things like pastel gore but there’s always a warning so block the tag or something if you wanna see my stuff but hate blood. I swear like a sailor as well so sorry about that too. I also have a bit of a fat fetish, don’t make fun of me for it I’m just born this way. I won’t draw or post any belly related kink stuff here though cause I like to keep that separate to my main thing knowing it can make others uncomfortable. But do NOT give me a hard time just because I am how I am. I can’t control what I’m attracted too. Inc*st makes me painfully uncomfortable so DO NOT interact with me if you ship Ian and Barley together or any sort of ship like that. These are my “flaws” above or the things people hate about me above so if you want to hate a person over small traits like this don’t bother trying to talk to me. I refuse to make a fake friend to only snap at me later.

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

Alright so I’m just gonna explain more about myself and who I am. Just so people don’t judge me before even getting to know me.

I was gonna write more in the description but it wouldn’t let me so I’m continuing here.

I am a very socially awkward bisexual autistic Demi girl who hates the human race in general and loves animals. Humans hurt me, animals heal me. So unless if you’re an alien disguised as a human just like me don’t interact LOL

I tend to get cyber bullied or hated on tumblr, why I am even trying for a third fucking time is beyond me. Guess I wanna show off some of my art even though it’s gonna get shat on. Above in the description is where I listed the reasons I tend to get hate so if you didn’t read that already look at my description before having anything to do with me please. I don’t do “fake” friends. Never again. I’m gonna show off EXACTLY who I am so people don’t find out a simple trait I have and leave me for it.

Here’s some weird things about ME.

One thing I have been embarrassed about but want to announce is I have trichtillomania (a hair pulling disorder). Sorry if the topic may be kind of hard to some but that’s who I am and I’m screaming it loud. It’s a rare disorder but it’s very real and I haven’t found out it had a name until just recently just through reading people’s head canons over a character. After seeing it I looked it up and was relived to discover I wasn’t the only one. People used to call it a habit when I pull so knowing I’m not alone helps. Don’t mock me for it, it’s harder than you think. If you read about it most people would describe it as an itch that needs to be scratched which sums it up perfectly.

I am a farmer so if any of you are farm haters don’t attack me got it? I love animals, farming is a beautiful bond between man and animals. We make sure to give them all the best life possible, life on a farm is better than any wildness (as long as it’s all free ranged, I am against farmers who keep their animals caged up. It’s a disgrace to us real farmers) as they can get worms and die very very young, some animals even struggle to give birth. If not for us being there the babies would die inside their mother and then the mother dies. We feed them and give them water so they don’t have to starve or go thirsty. When there’s an orphan or rejected baby we care for them for without us the poor things would die as they have no mother and they all deserve a chance to live a good life. We are anything BUT animal abusers. We may eat them after a certain point but we are not monsters, we be sure they live their life to the fullest before then. Also don’t hate on me for not being a vegan or vegetarian. I love animals with all my heart and soul but I have to eat meat, as it’s how my body works. Meat contains things that other foods don’t have and as it turns out I have to have a lot of it for reasons I won’t get into. I will give you a hint. It’s a topic related to a scene in Turning Red that made overprotective parents freak out. I need iron. Lots of it. Don’t hate me for eating meat.

I am bisexual, I have a bit of a male lean though simply because I have found I seem to get along better with men rather than other genders. It could be because I’m a tomboy I’m not sure. I have some crushes on some fictional girls though as well but finding my type appear in a character with she/her pronouns is weirdly rare. I like girls like Abigail from Stardew Valley for example. Goth metal aesthetic but they are also kind of goofy, someone I can play video games with and laugh with. Also most girls tend to bully me, I haven’t been bullied by a boy, non binary or anyone else. It could be why I am also more nervous to speak with girls rather than others as a result as well.

I have a super bad anxiety disorder and have to take lots of medication for it to the point I struggle to do much during the day. This is why I can be a bit slow with talking to people or just drawing anything in general. I need to work at my own pace because the pills make me tired but help keep me calm to some degree. If I get super bad I lose control. The doctors described it to my mother as a raincoat, if it pours too much it can’t do anything but a sprinkle of rain is what it’s strong against. I also have been diagnosed with OCD and I think I may have RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) as I panic whenever someone makes fun of me over almost anything or if someone ever gets angry at me. The smallest argument makes me crumble. Just seeing one troll makes me upset. So I have lots of bad mental problems so if I ever panic please forgive me. I am trying very hard to learn to control it. But this is why I am setting my boundaries right here and now.

Speaking of which, since I am slow and also busy I can’t talk every day all the time so please don’t spam me with messages because I can’t talk all the time. Sometimes I might be gone for months sorry so please don’t pester me into talking to you. It’s not that I’m avoiding you I am just busy but please keep that in mind. Also do NOT try to guilt trip me into talking to you more or drawing free art for you. I used to get taken advantage of all the time when I was younger and was so easy to fool, I’m just over it now. I don’t have time to draw free art, I only ever make art for someone if it’s someone special, like a best friend.

My pronouns are she/they. I’m still not super sure of my gender or pronouns even my sexuality. Don’t harass me for that as well, I am who I am and still learning even if I am 20.

As mentioned I do have some fetishes but this is not a kink blog as I mentioned I like to keep them separate. I have my kink account on deviantart then my regular account. I don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable with my kinks but I also want to be free and have my rights to be myself. If any of you give me a hard time for this as well you will be blocked. I just find chubby people cute. I like to imagine having a teddy bear as a partner, a living pillow who can gently pet my head and tell me everything is ok as I rest my head on a warm soft belly. That’s just me ok? Don’t make fun of me or yell at me for it.

I also hate inc8st ships. Not only is it just gross in general and illegal but as someone who is close to my family seeing any inc*st creeps me out. While Ian never had a Dad but had Barley, I never had friends but had my sister. Also if you even THINK of shipping me and my uggghhh sister for just saying that I will cut you limb from limb you fucking creep.

Porn blogs please don’t follow me. I may have mentioned I had a fetish but belly kink stuff is very different from actual porn (unless the two are combined obviously but I prefer fluff when it comes to that stuff). But I don’t feel comfortable with porn blogs following me so please don’t. I also do not feel comfortable talking about anything sexual as well. Yeah I’m an adult but that doesn’t mean I am seeking out that sort of thing. Part of my sense of humour might be dirty but it’s subtle and dirty humour is different to actual dirty talk or conversations about it. Although the majority of my humour is mostly dark so any dirty humour would be pretty rare from me.

Also don’t hate on me for loving Onward. I literally had someone give me a hard time for liking the movie just this morning as I’m writing this. I understand everyone has different tastes but don’t hate me for loving this movie. You can hate the movie sure but don’t hate ME for loving the movie. Don’t harass me for having opinions.

I also have emetophobia, which is the fear of vomiting. The fear can vary from general vomit or the action of it. I am scared of vomiting myself. Vomit in general grosses me out and makes me cringe but if I feel even the tiniest bit nauseous I have a full on panic attack. I even have to wake up my parents still if I think something is wrong with my stomach at night. Yeah I know, a grown ass person who is so scared of vomiting they need help from others over it. Childish right? Well it’s a REAL phobia you can look it up if you want. But don’t make fun of me for that either, it’s not something I can control. I’m just scared of it. Some folks say it could be linked to the fear of losing control. I guess that could be it but I just can’t stand the feeling to the point I fear it. Like with pregnancy I am more scared of the morning sickness than the actual childbirth. Yeah, it’s that bad. I wish I can get over it so I could have kids without that type of fear but then again I don’t think I would make a good mother as much as I do want kids someday.

If you hate me for any of these things about me above then just fuck off ok? I want to just be myself.

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

Picked her up and just got home. She seems to be going really well. The vet said her wound has healed up a lot and it’s a very small and shallow hole. We will head back there next week just to check things out. I really missed my baby. She is so strong. 💕

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

I'm leaving forever.

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

You know what? Just fuck everything. I wanted to try and overcome my trauma but just fuck it. I was always meant to be a loser and NO MATTER what I do, I will always be one. No matter how hard I push myself to try and create cool things, everyone will still shit all over me, call me names and make fun of me just because I’m different. Just because I’m a freak like they all say. I still get nightmares years later. I keep seeing triggers everywhere and I can’t stand to see that everyone who hurt me simply got away with it and I’m just stuck here hating myself because their voices live in my head free rent now. Fuck you all for ruining my life. Fuck you all for destroying my brain with all this trauma. Just fuck everything and fuck everyone.

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

Vent - I want to die

I need to vent because I’m too scared to tell my family. They know my mental health is bad but it’s more than that. I’m having suicidal thoughts again. I won’t do it, because I don’t want to put my family through that pain but tbh I just really want to die. This year has been hell for me. Not nearly as bad as 2019. It’s not the bullies again. I had to deal with some Aholes here and there but nowhere near to the extent since back then.

I just have so much horrible shit going on irl. I’m so stressed. My rabbit aka the most precious thing in my life isn’t feeling well. She has a lot of dental problems and needs to get some teeth removed next week. I’m terrified at how well she will handle it. My mother did research and says there’s been lots of rabbits that are just fine with some teeth missing but it’s been so stressful. I’m scared of her dying or suffering. I’ve been crying every single day multiple times a day. I’m just so worried about her. We are giving her pain meds but she has also lost a lot of weight and isn’t eating right. This rabbit saved my life. When I was bullied to the point of attempting to actually take my life, she came into my life and made me feel loved. She makes me feel special because she actually really really loves me.

I’ve been going through a lot of health problems as well. I’ve had bad dental problems too because I grind my teeth badly. But the mouth guard thing I have to wear is doing me a lot of damage too. It makes me drool a lot in my sleep and I have rashes on the corner of my lips at all times now no matter what I do. I’ve seen many doctors and it might go away for a bit but it comes back and it’s strong and itchy and lasts forever.

I also have alopecia areata. Which is an autoimmune issue where my immune system attack my hair follicles whenever I get sick with anything. So I have bald patches and need to see a doctor to get injections in my scalp to try and make them grow back. The treatment is working thankfully but still, I can’t ever catch a fucking break with anything. What’s worse is how I keep seeing everyone else around me doing just fine, with absolutely no issues whatsoever whilst I’m stuck feeling like a hideous and worthless little sack of shit that is hated by everyone. My family loves me (only my parents and sister who is literally flawless af) but the rest of the world hates me. I try to be nice to people and start small talk but get ghosted all the fucking time. I work hard on my art and no one gives a single shit about it. I really struggled on X and it shattered my self worth. What’s worse is I see that I have had a lot of views but not one single like.

I also still have a lot of nightmares from when I’ve been badly bullied back in 2019. Years later they still won’t go away.

I’m so tempted to die, I WANT to die but I can’t because of my family. They don’t know I’m having these thoughts again and I’m scared to tell them.

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

In reality tho, Matt would flip out if he said that to him.

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

We make some… interesting models! XD

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

He gets jelly for me! 💕

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

Barley saying Grrr is my new favourite thing.

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

I’m SCREAMING! Look at THEM! LOL

[onwardmagicprincessselfship]

🥰 I absolutely love Barley’s new Lorcana warrior outfit and I think it looks soooo cute on him!!!! Maybe that’s just because I’m an absolute sucker for him in a warrior outfit!!! 🥰

I also like Ian’s new Lorcana wizard outfit and I think that it suits the modern wizard look more than the Mirrorverse one. I also think that purple definitely looks good on him and the wizard staff he’s holding looks cool and similar to the one their dad gave him on his birthday.

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

OHMIGOSH! I’m SO happy they’re included! I was so scared if Disney was going to brush Onward under the rug again. Such an underrated movie. I’m going to be buying the whole set! XD

[onwardforbidden]

First 10 pictures of chapter 2. Hope you all like it!

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

It's their motto

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

Guys, my mental health has been absolutely brutal lately. I’m taking a break from the internet.