ok everyone says the worst kind of crush is when you don’t know the person & they don’t notice you & you’ve never spoken to them but i disagree because liking someone from a distance will never be as painful as actually knowing the person you like & speaking to them every day & being super comfortable around them & knowing how to make them laugh & smiling every time you get a text from them because you all you want to do is talk to them & you can actually envision a future with them because you know it’s not just a passing fantasy and you know you’re falling in love with them, but you also know there’s absolutely no chance they feel the same way & you don’t want to ruin your friendship with them, so you won’t risk what you have together in the hope of something more, & so you will never admit that you like them & when your other friends tease you both together you’ll deny it & you won’t give any hints about your true feelings (even though you think it’s super obvious because you drop everything to talk to them or help them & every time you see them you grin like an idiot and become so much happier) & you know they are way more important to you than you are to them & you’ll always be insecure about the fact that they would be just fine without you & they probably don’t care nearly as much as you do (& maybe, just maybe, you don’t really mean anything to them at all, you’re just an insignificant part of their life who they just talk to in order to pass the time or because they need something from you, not because they actually enjoy spending time with you), so you just stay in this weird limbo situation where you don’t know where you stand with them & you’re too afraid to ask so you have no choice but to keep trying to get closer to them in the hopes that one day they’ll see you as something more than a friend.
