Mattie

25 • CT Forget the glass slippers, this princess wears cowboy boots and slays her own dragons with a shotgun. Single.

[lesbianrey]

i may not show it 💯 but my brain really be feeling like scrampled egg

[iwheretheshoes]

scrampled

[jazz-frog]

scrampled

[badjokesandnihilism]

still not convinced i exist

[omegaverse]

[diewhitewoman]

[thebookquotes]

Forgiveness is the easiest thing in the world [...]. All you do is just decide to do it, and then it's done. Instantly you feel better, like pushing aside a quilt that is too heavy for sleeping. Forgetting is the hard part.

— Silas House, Southernmost

[fullpraxisnow]

“[I]t is actually more expensive to be poor than not poor. If you can’t afford the first month’s rent and security deposit you need in order to rent an apartment, you may get stuck in an overpriced residential motel. If you don’t have a kitchen or even a refrigerator and microwave, you will find yourself falling back on convenience store food, which — in addition to its nutritional deficits — is also alarmingly overpriced. If you need a loan, as most poor people eventually do, you will end up paying an interest rate many times more than what a more affluent borrower would be charged. To be poor — especially with children to support and care for — is a perpetual high-wire act.”

— It Is Expensive to Be Poor | The Atlantic

[bae-in-maine]

“Poverty charges interest ” holy hell. Ive never read$heard someone put it that way before. But its so friggen true.

[useless-bisaster]

See also:

(Source: Men at Arms by Terry Pratchett)

[catasters]

[princesstigerbelle]

What kind of bird is this

[naamahdarling]

The kind with several other birds inside it.

[joematar]

a mother! how wonderful

[latadelixo]

[faggottt]

Where is she going

[cyelatm]

[heartshapedbasil]

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

[maplebungus-deactivated20221118]

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

[dadbodbobby]

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

[lestautism]

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

[spacemancharisma]

your man doesn’t even know what it means to carmelize onions

[whitepeopletwitter]

[prettypositivity]

it’s never too late. for anything: to apologize, to chase a dream, to try again, to forgive, to pick up a hobby, to fall in love, to change. you can do it whenever you want

[aprilwitching-deactivated201808]

candles are how we keep fires as pets

[annabellioncourt]

this is unnecessarily adorable

[murdershegoat]

i’m having a breakdown i’m having a fully fledged breakdown over this information

[tarynel]

[fatherofthebride]

new york city’s official government guidelines for how to fuck during a pandemic really are a bright spot in the darkness right now

[fatherofthebride]

some of my favorites include:

“please just masturbate or fuck your roommate”:

“make it a little kinky” (direct quote):

and “if you HAVE to host an orgy, open a window”:

you can read the whole thing here, it’s very hilarious and chill and also informative. mentions masks and then says “maybe that’s your thing”

[whendidmythoughtsgocrazy]

“Your fingers intertwined with mine, that’s all what I wanted to feel for the longest time.”

— k.b. // your hands in mine

[badjokesbyjeff]

An OverweightTime Traveler goes to ancient rome

An Overweight Time Traveler goes to ancient rome and realizes he wore historically incorrect clothes for the trip. Realizing his mistake he visits a toga shop to purchase new clothes. He looks around the shop and realizes they do not have togas big enough to fit him. He goes to the counter and asks the clerk:

Time traveler: Do you have XL togas?

Clerk: Well, yes. But why do you need so many?

[skunkcowboy]

Love is made by little cowboys who live in your heart