How to survive a heat wave: a guide
Okay, it has come to my attention that you’re having a hard time these days in most Europe during this intense heat wave. While my first reaction has been to laugh at your misery, I have decided to mend my ways and make up for my errors by putting together a small list with useful advice to survive during a heat wave.
So, here you have, how to survive “la flama”, written by a native from Hell (aka, Spain).
- When outside: Stay the fuck inside. If you have no choice but to go outside, remember: the Sun is your enemy. Stay in the shadow as much as you can. Always use +50SPF sunscreen. Always carry a bottle of cool water with you.
- When inside: The heat is outside. Close all your fucking windows and keep the blinds/jealousies whatever you call them DOWN. The Sun is still your enemy. Whatever the sunlight touches will warm up and will radiate infrared radiation (aka, warmth).
Only open at night, when the temperatures drop. Let the air circulate. Close everything again in the morning before the heat returns.
If your skin is hot to the touch and you feel like blushing, it is because your body is struggling to dissipate heat. Get a spray bottle and spray yourself with water. Works best when done while standing in front of a fan. Repeat. You can also cover yourself with a wet towel.
If you are having trouble sleeping, you can sprinkle your bedsheets with water. Water evaporation = cooling (or, as we call it in Spain, “efecto botijo”).
And under no circumstances you should do exercise.
PS: Don’t forget about the fucking sunscreen. It must be +50SPF. I am not kidding with this. I am fucking tired of you, pale skinned, blue eyed, straw haired idiots getting melanome at 20 years old.
Also, check your local heat index, or “feels like” temperature. Go by that when you’re thinking about older/younger people, pets, etc. Check on them once the temps get above 90F/32.2C, because they’re especially vulnerable.
Drink water. I know you think you had enough, but please drink more water. Sweating dehydrates you. Also up your salt/electrolyte intake, because sweating decreases that too.
As for your windows and blinds, make sure they’re not dark; that will absorb heat from the sun at a higher rate. If you don’t have light colored blinds, you can line the window with foil or plain white paper (several layers) to reflect the sun back out and help protect your interior from heating up.
Drink more water. Cool, but not freezing, that can make you sick if you’re too hot and go to chug it.
If you or someone else does get overheated, do it fast–you won’t risk shock by doing it quickly, but waiting too long can be very bad. Put ice in the crotch and armpits, there are huge blood vessels there. You can load ice packs around the neck, too. A damp cloth will equalize to your body temp quickly, so make sure you’re using ice, or running water directly over the cloth when needing to lower temp fast.
Did I mention drink more water??
Speaking of heat sicknesses, these are the symptoms to watch for: headache, cramps, dizziness, pale and clammy skin, excessive profuse sweating, suddenly not sweating despite not getting any cooler, rapid heartbeat, confusion, and of course fainting or seizures. At that point, HOSPITAL.
Avoid alcohol. It can make it harder to moderate your body temp. There is some evidence caffeine may also do that, so it’s best to avoid it. But who wants coffee or hot tea in a heat wave, anyway? (On that note, there is a myth going around that drinking or eating hot foods will cool you; that’s just not true.)
Note that sometimes in heat waves, there may be designated public “cooling stations” for your area. Otherwise, consider going to a place you know has AC if you’re unable to stay cool in your own living space.
If you have low humidity, google “Make your own swamp cooler.” Many are super simple, and work WONDERS. Simple recipe: Box fan with a large, thin damp cloth draped over the back “intake” area. Turn it up on high, or it won’t really blow air. Dampen cloth as needed with spray bottle or by dipping/wringing. Not the best, but works in a pinch.
Stay cool, friends.
