tomorrow is coming and god-willing i'll be there

Age: twenty-😜 years old ♡ I am the monster that lives in your pantry. If you don't have a pantry then I stay in your refrigerator. Also, if you're wondering who Carl is, (the being mentioned in my url), don't.

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

Poof! You’re a mermaid now. Spin to get a type of mermaid! How we feeling about this?

You have been turned into this type of mermaid!!

What do you think?

I love it!!

it's alright

Ew

EW

oh cool I didn't know this type existed!!

Result/other

Remaining time: 5 days 9 hours

(I do not know much about mermaids, forgive me if I made any mistakes. Do not drown me.)

[ruffboi-mags]

*delighted shrieking*

[firagasoap]

Broccoli Knuckle Duster by David Delahunty

[ma-gpie]

[littlemissfunshineinflorida2]

[parkchanwoohoo]

Heard this stupid dad joke that killed me: Which Chinese word takes the longest to write? "Friend" (朋友) because it takes two months just to write half of it

[parkchanwoohoo]

Which character is faster, hot (热) or cold (冷)? Obviously hot, which has 4 legs to cold's 1

[parkchanwoohoo]

Why do Chinese vampires hate spicy food? They only drink 不辣的

[claire-witch-project]

[official-linguistics-post]

official orthographic comedy post

[holy-leapin-splits-batman]

[graveyardrabbit]

I really love those posts of people showing their stuffed animals various things and locations, gonna start doing that

[graveyardrabbit]

showing my giant ground sloth the Feather River and the Feather River Fish Hatchery fish ladder

[graveyardrabbit]

showing my cat the location of the last stagecoach hold-up in San Mateo County

[graveyardrabbit]

showing my sockeye salmon The Gates Of Hell

[graveyardrabbit]

showing my humpback whale Methuselah the coast redwood

[graveyardrabbit]

showing my banana slug the grave of Emperor Norton

[graveyardrabbit]

showing my tiger the geographic center of California

[graveyardrabbit]

showing my elephant seal a spirit photograph

[graveyardrabbit]

showing my javalina the 1906 earthquake fence

[captain-price-returns]

Arrest everyone involved.

[captain-price-returns]

Money saved: maybe a couple million dollars.

People killed: around three quarters of a million.

[yamelcakes]

world’s most evil man and I’m not being hyperbolic

[orteil42]

controversial stance but i do wish i could live forever. i certainly live like i'm going to live forever. i take my time. realistically however my lifespan is dreadfully limited and there are things i've "been meaning to do" that i will never get around to. the Emoji Movie came out almost 10 years ago. in all that time on any random day i could've decided to sit down and watch it, and i did not. how many more decades will slip by like this? conceivably, it could be all the decades i have left. watching the Emoji Movie would not be, after all, a crucial use of my time. much better things to do. i could easily postpone it over and over and over until my final breath where it may not even register to me that i never did watch the Emoji Movie. no great loss, certainly; and yet i find myself intrigued by Patrick Stewart's involvement

[steelydanyaoi]

freak as fuck sign

[modern-politics111]

[scotty-wolf-lover1968]

important and encouraging

[pcamtschatica]

Found a great (free) documentary on the Freedom House Ambulance Service here- https://www.wqed.org/freedomhouse/ (has captions too)!

[hoodiedeer]

I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve heard about this. like for years I’ve been thinking “imagine if the police were in charge of ambulances and firefighting, all the horrible problems that would cause, wouldn’t it be better if they were a separate thing, etc” as a way to better understand/explain the fundamental problems with the existence of police. that framing was part of what made me start to understand why my friends were saying “ACAB” and “abolish the police”. I had no idea it was literally once historically like that and not just a hypothetical tbh

[ardentdelirium]

Interview with one of the original members of Freedom House Ambulance

[scriptmedic]

This is cool as shit, and a part of my own career’s history that I didn’t even know about.

[sugarsylvie]

Eevee finally accepts the cone!

[gaybichon]

i think i found my new favorite artist on twitter

(source)

[contextfreepatentart]

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[drtrinitysantos]

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

[segamascott]

[ozempicofficial]