[justmecomplaigning]

I am convinced Ship in a Bottle by fin is a pirate themed enemy to lovers tale

[justmecomplaigning]

I take care of myself in the third person.

[justmecomplaigning]

I don’t know how to process the fact that I’m going to fail my final exam tomorrow.

“Did you study for it?”

“No…”

“Well then you don’t have an excuse.”

But I tried. I swear I tried. I had a study plan. I set everything up. And I couldn’t focus on the screen in front of me.

It was a few days before I could get myself to try again. I pulled it up, rewrote notes, and retained none of it.

The next day I went to Starbucks and and got a large coffee hoping the adrenaline rush would be enough to motivate me. I had an anxiety attack about the wrong thing.

I feel like a failure. And yet there’s no one to blame but myself.

[justmecomplaigning]

My mom always said don’t fall in love with the first person who says I love you.

She was speaking from experience. I thought I knew better.

I was confident, I knew what I wanted, I wouldn’t lower my standards.

It was the first long term relationship for both of us. We had a lot of firsts together. We were both learning.

At least I thought we were.

I was learning how to communicate, how to navigate a long distance relationship, how to show love.

He learned how to say just the right thing to make me melt, how to make me feel loved, how to get what he wanted.

I was learning how to say no, how to set boundaries, how to turn off that part of my brain.

Looking back, I can see it all so clearly.

No means stop, stop means stop, my hands pushing away yours means stop.

Isn’t teaching how to respect boundaries part of the experience? And nobody learns the first time.

The thing is, he wasn’t a bad guy. We talked late at night and laughed and had fun together. He volunteered at the animal shelter on the weekends. My parents liked him.

That’s not enough, I have learned.

Don’t fall in love with the first person who says I love you.

[justmecomplaigning]

Someday, I will run for President and my whole campaign will be just me complaigning.

[justmecomplaigning]

[justmecomplaigning]

Someone help me figure out what I am!

I’ve been in a serious relationship for 4 months now and we’ve kinda been together a year. I thought I was just aroace, but now I’m thinking maybe demi. But the thing is, I still don’t experience attraction as far as I know. I can tolerate romantic motions and physical intimacy to an extent though. That’s not something I could do with others before now. I don’t understand. Maybe it is romantic attraction and I just don’t have enough experience to identify it as that.

[justmecomplaigning]

A little tip for the romantic aro who wants to be in a relationship but struggles with romance repulsion. A way that helped me become more comfortable with the idea of a relationship and just generally being in a relationship was changing my mindset in certain acts that are coded as romantic.

I am in a (currently long distance) relationship with an alloro. I loved hand holding and cuddling but struggled with kissing and big romantic gestures like receiving flowers. By thinking of these things as a display of affection rather than an explicitly romantic gesture, I had an easier time participating and enjoying them. I equate a kiss on the lips to a kiss on the cheek. Gifts are gifts no matter who they come from and always show how much someone cares for you. My partner is first and foremost my best friend in my mind and our relationship is very much a compromise between the both of us.

This is my personal experience and I lean toward the romance favorable end of the spectrum, but I still wanted to share if it can help another struggling aro.

[justmecomplaigning]

[justmecomplaigning]

If he sends you his sweatshirts through the mail you know he’s a keeper.

[justmecomplaigning]

Good cries are so underrated. You start out overwhelmed and hurting and you end up drowsy and content. Nothing can touch me for at least four hours. I am good. I am content. All my problems are far away.

[justmecomplaigning]

Snow makes life worth living

[justmecomplaigning]

It’s the little things that make life worth loving

[justmecomplaigning]

Words are important. They affect everything: effectiveness of communication and the way you are perceived, but they also affect the way you see the world.

If you use mostly negative words to describe the world, you will fail to see the beauty. You will fail to see the uniqueness of every snowflake if you describe them as frigid. The way the leaves crunch under each footstep if you describe them as a nuisance. The flowers if you describe them as weeds.

The same thing happens when you think about yourself. When you call yourself stupid everytime you make a mistake you will fail to see your growth. If you call yourself a burden you will fail to see your worth. If you call yourself nothing, you will fail to see that you are everything. To your family, to the people around you, to the world.

Use nice words. Even when it’s just you by yourself. Because the way you describe things makes a world of difference.

[justmecomplaigning]

I had extra ink on my pen and this popped into my head. I’m sure it isn’t original but I have no idea where I might have heard it.

[justmecomplaigning]

I made a friend

[justmecomplaigning]

I don’t want to enforce the “every girl needs a gay friend” thing, but...

As an aro girl, I really just need a broad shoulder to cuddle without the anxiety and fear of it becoming romantic.

Ya get me?