Matsuno Family Diary! Part 2: Karamatsu Laments (Unofficial English Translation)
The following is an unofficial English translation of an official short story released online for members of the official Osomatsu-san fan club. If you want to read the original Japanese version of the story or enjoy the other things the fan club offers itâs members please consider joining: https://osomatsusan-fc.com/
In the room of the Matsuno family sextuplets there is a notebook hidden away behind a bookshelf. This notebook exists so that the brothers may, should they so choose, express the deep feelings and profound thoughts which weigh upon their hearts and minds so heavily that they can no longer be contained.
It seems that today someoneâs hand is once again turning the pagesâŚ.
Suddenly*, I have one older brother and four younger brothers to take care of. Iâve never resented this hardship. As the head of the Matsuno family itâs only natural for me to take care of everyone.
Alas, howeverâŚ.I am gutted.
Even I, whose heart is wider than the sea and taller than the mountains, have things that I cannot stand.
For Example:
Eight days ago, âtwas I who threw the crumpled tissue that had fallen to the floor near the edge of the room into the trash.
Six days ago, âtwas I who searched for and the found the TV remote that had been misplaced and put it back where it belonged.
Four days ago, âtwas I who laid out the futon for everyone. âTwas I who turned out the lights.
On the day M A Z A** was gone, âtwas I who who washed out the slime at the bottom of the barely tea I had finished drinking and made new barely tea. âTwas I who crushed the empty candy boxes, put the liquor cans into garbage bags, and hung my leather jacket back on the hanger after it slipped to the floor!
âŚâŚâŚâŚI donât mind.
It's no big deal for me to do these many things, truly.
But honestly it pisses me off. I'm so annoyed. Who could have known that I, who is considered P AâF E C T O by my B R A Z A S would have such a big problem?
No, no one needs to know. Heroes cry alone and in secret.
I actually do a lot of work when Iâm out of sight and no one is watching, and I would never brag about it but Iâm really smart and witty. I also donât agree that Iâm being âobnoxiousâ just for humming a poem while playing guitar, but I don't care about any of that!
Not even a word of thanks, eh? I've never once received a âthank youâ or heard anyone ask âDid Karamatsu do this?â
I'm not doing any of this because I want someone to praise me! But I also think that it would be nice if there were people who noticed a little!
âŚâŚ Huh. Well, that's fine.
Today, once again, Iâll be the only one protecting the peace of the world Baby!
P.S.
The porno book thing? It wasn't me.
*Please note that the decision to start this entry off with âSuddenlyâ was Karamatsuâs choice and not mine. I mean, he didnât âsuddenlyâ gain an older brother and four younger brothers, heâs had them his whole life! And itâs not as if anythingâs happened to his parentsâŚ.Anyway, I considered leaving it out of the translation because it being there makes no sense, but as far as I can tell it not making sense may have been the point because a lot of the passage is like that? I dunno, Karamatsu talks weird and this entry was written weirdly so if you have trouble reading it blame him not me.
**Karamatsu uses English words a few times, written out in all caps using roman letters, but he doesnât seem to actually know how to spell these English words so he writes them out phonetically based on how he talks. He does that here with M A Z A (mother) and then two more times latter on with B R A Z A S (brothers) and P AâF E C T O (perfecto).
***This is a reference to the mysterious porno book that Osomatsu wrote about in the last entry. Karamatsu claims he didnât take it, can he be trusted?
Part of me wants to mock Karamatsu for clearly wanting to be praised (despite his claims to the contrary) for doing basic household chores. However, this would be hypocritical of me because I also long for praise whenever I do basic household chores. Today, âtwas I who did laundry, dishes, vacuumed, cleaned the cats litter box, made my bed, and cooked myself chicken and rice for lunchâŚ.where are my complaints for being so responsible and industrious?! I demand accolades!
Up next: Itâs Christmas time with Jyushimatsu!
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