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can’t jinx it

blake kathryn
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The Stonewall Inn
Cosimo Galluzzi

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wallacepolsom

ellievsbear
Today's Document
noise dept.
Claire Keane

gracie abrams

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Game of Thrones Daily
Stranger Things
almost home
NASA
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

#extradirty

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@justwastinggtime
Any Blog without this picture will be deleted in the following 24 hours.
can’t jinx it
went on the most insane grindr date of my life last night hold on
>be me
>guy whose profile says he’s 22 hits me up
>bio says he’s looking for a dude to make out with on a helicopter
>little weird but ok
>like 2 messages into the conversation he brings up the fact that he’s super rich
>must think i was born yesterday
>clearly a human and not a bot tho
>bored so i keep talking to him
>adds me on snap
>decent snap score
>story basically just rich guy flexing
>still probably fake
>asks me to come to his hotel
>really swanky one that i’ve heard of, obv never stayed there
>says he’ll call me an uber
>10% chance he’s legit
>90% chance i’m getting murdered
>win win so i decide to go
>get there, knock on door
>dude in pictures opens it
>absolutely shocked
>immediate lights a joint in the room without opening a window
>”i’ll just pay the cleaning fee it’s whatever”
>starts telling me about different plastic surgery techniques and all the ones he plans on getting
>not insecure, just thinks they rule
>there’s a stack of cash on the desk that’s more money than i’ve seen in one place before
>like 5k just sitting there
>we talk a little, eventually ask him why the fuck hes so rich
>this whole time he’s watching videos of plastic surgery being performed
>tells me he invested some money his parents gave him in hs and got lucky
>no job, owns a nice apt
>pretty much all he does is have sex with guys
>tells me he literally flew here to fuck a dude
>”haha check out how they’re sanding down this bone”
>offers to pay for laser treatment for my scars
>say no because there’s no way i can say yes
>kinda like them anyways
>have sex
>he orders a fuckton of food from an italian place
>”idk why i got all this i’m lactose intolerant”
>tells me at length abt how iceberg lettuce shouldn’t exist
>eats a plate of mozzarella sticks and falls asleep
>like meeting a modern day dorian grey
Gotta say what an absolute King
>10% chance he’s legit
>90% chance i’m getting murdered
>win win so i decide to go
you know what day it is……….
bending laws of physics is easy for us
i feel it in my bones, i’m on F I R E
FUCK
hit the reblog so fast i think i broke my mouse
holY F U cKKKKkKKKkkkkkKKKKK
HOLY FUCK THIS KNOCKED MY SIDEWAYS
do yourself a favor and hit play. then reblog it for all to experience.
#this is why they made you live under the stairs for 10 years.
i’m like heinz doofenshmirtz because i, too, like being petty, singing off-key, and over-sharing my deepest traumas for no discernible reason
I also think of myself as evil but am at best a minor inconvenience.
my textbook and i have a lot in common
YOUNG TOM IS JUST SO CUTE I CANT. I REALLY CANT.
this is random but the pizza in a goofy movie had no business looking that good
shiiid roxanne had no business lookin that good
where were you when i said this and everyone called me a dog fucker
shut up!!!!!!