Cosmic Funnies
★
d e v o n
YOU ARE THE REASON
Sade Olutola
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
$LAYYYTER
dirt enthusiast
shark vs the universe
we're not kids anymore.
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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Mike Driver
JVL
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almost home
roma★
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@jvnahss
❛ | EMELIA ]
“Cuddling?! No. Definitely not. That’s pretty much a sure way to get me. So none of that either. I just… want to have non sexual fun tonight.”
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ᴅᴀᴍɴ, ᴡʜᴏ ᴘɪssᴇᴅ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴇᴇʀɪᴏs? was the sex really that bad, em? who hurt you? who didn’t let you get off? ’
❛ | TRAITOR ]
she began speaking without really hearing what jonah had said, tears in her eyes because even in her mind he’d likely never forgive her for his death. “of course i l-” she stopped as quickly as she’d started when his words caught up to her. “you didn’t turn, jonah. i killed you,” that was the first time she’d ever said the words and even thinking it was happening inside her head, she whispered them, “i didn’t mean to. all the stories just said i had to bite-” on the verge of tears and unable to finish her sentences, it was clear that bea was distraught. “i didn’t know what i was doing.”
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴄᴋ ɪs ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ? ’ every word she said was strung together in a way that made no sense, but he couldn’t take anymore excuses. ‘ i LOVED you, and you did this to me. and you didn’t even have the fucking balls to stick around and help me through it. do you know what it felt like waking up like this and having absolutely no one? you know what helped me, beatrice? google. ’ he hadn’t known myka in the first few weeks of his turning and all he could trust was the lore he’d pieced together online which still wasn’t perfectly accurate. scouring the internet for answers had been maddening and his enhanced senses drove him that much more crazy. ‘ if you didn’t know what you were doing, you shouldn’t have done it in the first place. ’
❛ | TERRENCE ]
‘ nah, just like… peace on earth and the end of world hunger. ’ the festivities, however special, were draining, and nothing was of much interest to the dhampir. ‘ depends on what kind of night you’re going for. i wouldn’t know. ’
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ʜɪs ᴇᴀsʏɢᴏɪɴɢ sᴍɪʟᴇ ɢʀᴇᴡ ᴛɪɢʜᴛ. there was something familiar about the man before him, but he’d never seen him before; that jonah was sure of. still, a lingering familiarity had him feeling hostile for no reason. ‘ right. well thanks for that. ’
❛ | EMELIA ]
“How profound,” the brunette said, trying to hide a smile with an eyeroll. “I will take the food and drinks. No… lay. No laying. Do not let me lay with anyone.”
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ɴᴏ ʟᴀʏɪɴɢ? ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ? not even for a cuddle? does that mean you’re finally with someone or your last time was so bad that it’s just turned you off of sex entirely? ’
❛ | ELIZABETH ]
She raised a well manicured hand. “Now, in being honest… I don’t get hit on all night long, nor go home with all the free peanuts I can eat or smelling of beer… so there’s pros and cons on both sides, you know?” asked the woman with a smile.
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ɪ ɢᴜᴇss, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ᴅɪsᴀᴘᴘᴏɪɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ the grass isn’t actually greener on the other side. now i have to make a new fantasy for myself to daydream about when the bar’s slow. ’
❛ | NADIA ]
“Feel free to take it personally all you want,” Nadia mused with a playful tone in her voice that reflected upon her facial features as well. However, his analogy wiped the smile off of her pouty lips and replaced it with a disgusted grimace. “Jeez. I’d rather have to kill strigoi by myself—a whole fucking cave of them.” She had already done that in the past anyway.
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ɪ'ʟʟ sᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ. ɪ'ᴅ ʀᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴋɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴀɴ have to go through full moon shifts. they’re fucking brutal. anyone who WANTS this is ridiculous. ’ a twinge of bitterness laced itself within his tone, his gaze flickering across the bar before returning to the woman before him. ‘ a whole cave? could you do that? ’
❛ | SESTRA ]
Sighing, Myka hugged Jonah, also using the position to mess his hair again. “What you call being dramatic is only partly so. I really wish you’d understand that for me it’s like.. being dropped in a foreign country and no one speaks your language and you don’t speak theirs.. on top of that, they judge you and think you’re dumb just because you don’t. You’re lucky you’re charming, asshole.” She teased with a smile on her lips, hugging him close. He was more or less the only human physical contact she got, and she knew that was he fault. Okay, maybe sixty percent he fault.
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ᴅʀᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴋɪss ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀᴜɴᴇᴛᴛᴇ's ᴄʀᴏᴡɴ, jonah let out a sigh that exhaled all the anger he previously held. now he was just tired. ‘ you know that i’m going to pick you over everyone else. i just wish you’d be less judge first, educate never. ’ he would never understand the feelings she went through, but he could sympathise and he always took her side whether she was right or wrong.
❛ | ELIZABETH ]
“Eh, at least here you’re getting a better variety. Joe there might have a wife not interested in him - because she’s banging the neighbor - and Phyllis over there is having her own mid life crisis selling LuLaRoe leggings and thinking of leaving her stable full time job of twelve years. To sell leggings. And meanwhile you got someone over there questioning their sexuality and he’s pondering how much liquor it would take to just go talk to that girl over there,” she narrated, pointing around the room with examples. “Now trade all that down to just one person and just them for an hour…”
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ, it doesn’t sound very fun... ’ maybe he needed to rethink his life choices. bartender was not his end all career, but at least he didn’t have to listen to legging dreams all day.
❛ | GIANA ]
giana noticed how he switched the conversation over to her and she wasn’t going to fight it. although, the question was a bit tricky, she didn’t know him well enough to guess his hobbies. “i don’t think you look any sort of way, honestly, i just guess i think everyone has hobbies, whether it means you paint or write or work on cars or whatever.” she said to him.
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ᴡᴇʟʟ, sᴀᴅʟʏ, ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ʜᴏʙʙɪᴇs. ’ he didn’t do much outside of work, didn’t spend his time performing any sort of tasks outside of menial every day ones. ‘ i don’t paint or write or work on cars. i don’t do yoga. i don’t meditate. i really don’t do anything other than what i all ready said. ’
❛ | MARGOT ]
“anymore?” she asked, picking up her drink and taking a slow sip. “some girls are into that. if they can’t support themselves. but this is the modern age, pal, the feminists are taking over. some girls want respect and admiration - imagine that.”
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ʀᴇsᴘᴇᴄᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴅᴍɪʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ? ɴᴏᴛ sᴜʀᴇ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ left in me. maybe i’m just a little more archaic and just want someone to be obsessed with me and i can be obsessed with them. ’
❛ | TRAITOR ]
she gasped when he freed himself from her grip. there was a clear image in her head of him on the floor of his apartment. motionless, bleeding. dead. she knew that was real, but he seemed so life-like as he stood before her. angrier than she’d ever seen him in real life, but it would make sense in this nightmare that her late lover would hate her for killing him. a nightmare was the only thing that made sense. jonah wasn’t alive, he didn’t know about rainer, and she’d never heard of ghosts manifesting like this.
“i’m so sorry j.” she made no attempt to stop him from leaving. could you really stop a dream from happening? she wasn’t sure. “i know you’re not real, but i’m so sorry, love. i never meant for this to happen.”
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟ. sʜᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛʜɪs ᴡᴀsɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟ; some dream that she’d conjured up to clear a guilty conscience. ‘ love? you don’t leave people you love to just - fucking just turn into THIS. ’ he was still adjusting to the life of being a werewolf, trying to enjoy ever part of it, but that was hard when he still had no idea what he was doing. ‘ take responsibility for what the fuck you did to me. and then you just l e f t. you fucked off and just left me there and i’ve been dealing with this shit for months. you didn’t even ASK me. ’
❛ | HALEY ]
“I mean, yeah, between the two of us, I’m the alpha, but also, as long as you’re not in my pack, I’m not responsible for shit that you pull, so please, have as many flash mobs as you’d like.”
Haley grinned. “That said, if I find out about these flash mobs going down and I’m not invited, then I will personally show up, at your door, at two in the morning and demand answers.”
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ᴅᴀᴍɴ, ɪ'ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇᴇɴ ʟɪɢʜᴛ. i’m going to do anything now. maybe i can get away with murder too. i’ll just say that haley told me that i’m allowed to do anything and she’s not responsible for any of the shit i pull. ’
❛ | STARTER — OPEN ]
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ᴏᴋᴀʏ, ᴀʟʟ ɪ'ᴍ sᴀʏɪɴɢ ɪs ᴛʜᴀᴛ the only thing i want to do tonight is get some good food, get some good drinks, and maybe a good lay. there’s not much more that i need to ask for tonight, right? ’
❛ | YARA ]
she’d definitely been to events like this before, maybe just once or twice, but to her it was enough. squeezing her way in between people through the crowded area, yara walked in small, stiff steps, hoping to get out of the overly populated area before she began to regret coming there in the first place. her eyes lit up the moment she saw an empty spot no one was really standing at, making her way there, her mind probably worked faster than her feet because the next thing she knew, her whole face was in someone’s back. yara stepped back, frantically apologising, “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i just- i wanted-” she pointed to the area she was hoping to go to, “i don’t do well in crowded places, my brain overwrites itself,”
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ᴊᴏɴᴀʜ ʜᴀᴅ ʙᴇᴇɴ sᴇᴀʀᴄʜɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ sᴘᴏᴛ to watch the parade for what felt like hours. the city was packed, nearly everyone seemed to have come out to enjoy the night - which seemed odd to him given the circumstances. finally located a small bit of space big enough to fit him, jonah slipped in easily, though he was quickly jostled by something much smaller, yet strong enough to knock the turkey leg that he’d been holding from his grip. he wasn’t sure what hurt him more: the physical impact or the fact that he was now out a turkey leg. ‘ hey, it’s fine. mistakes happen, just calm down, okay? take a breath. i’ll live. my food won’t, but i will. ’
tylerjblackburn: Now we’re drained creatively. But I miss you on my team. We backed each other to the hilt.
❛ | TRAITOR ]
stunned. bea was simply stunned, frozen in place as she realized who the person tapping her shoulder had been. for a moment her brain stopped working so the money he tried to put in her hand fell to the floor. the next moment her brain was going a million miles a minute, trying to process how a man she knew to be dead could be standing in front of her. how could a man that she had killed be giving her back money she had dropped?
her thoughts raced from one idea to the next. jonah could be a ghost, a hallucination, a dream, or a nightmare… but he seemed so real. “jonah, you were-” she couldn’t bring herself to say the word dead, besides he didn’t look it at all. she realized he was about to leave and finally she found it in herself to move, grabbing his arm and lightly tugging. “where are you going?” thoroughly surprised her hand didn’t pass right though him, she tightened her grip, testing that he really was solid.
❛ ┆ —— ‘ ᴏɴ ᴀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ-ᴊᴇʀᴋ ʀᴇᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ, ʜᴇ ᴘᴜʟʟᴇᴅ ʙᴀᴄᴋ. there’d been some time that now seemed too long ago to be clear that he’d wanted her touch, wanted her company. any fond, tender feelings that he’d held for her were clouded by a bitter disgust and a suffocating sense of betrayal. she wasn’t welcomed in his life anymore. the past was behind him and he refused to be dragged back into her face, her scent, her warmth.
‘ i’m going where the fuck i was going before i stopped. ’ he snapped, taking careful steps back in hopes to put more distance between them and just move on from this.
❛ | TRAITOR ]
Bea would have been lying if she said that walking downtown didn’t feel comfortable and warm, even after all the time that had passed. She’d arrived early, hoping to enjoy the familiarity of the place before many people were out and about. It would only be a matter of time until she ran into someone she knew and she was doubtful any interaction with someone from her past would be very friendly. If her wolf transformation four years ago hadn’t alienated her from all her old friends, the way she severed ties with anything Rainier related when she left for the mundane world would probably have done it. Coming back wasn’t her first choice, but she wasn’t sure where else to go so there she was; strolling down the sidewalk, pretending to talk on her phone so no one would bother her.
It didn’t last long, as someone tapped her shoulder, she held up a finger and pretended to end her imaginary phone call. Sticking the device into her pocket, Bea turned ad greeted them with a slightly disgruntled look. “Hey.”
❛ ┆ —— ‘ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɢᴏ, ʜᴇ'ᴅ ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ call this place home. myka bringing him to rainier had been a blessing in disguise has he hadn’t quite been sure what to do after being turned. this place had accepted him, had become somewhere that he didn’t constantly look over his shoulders in fear or paranoia. it was easy to be here and he couldn’t think of another place. the heightened senses, though, he’d never get used to that. even something as small as noticing a small object fall from someone’s pocket, just a few dollars, but he felt compelled to give it back on the basis of being a good person.
‘ hey, so i uh, you dro- ’ he hated that he paused, stared as if he were looking at the devil in the flesh. everything he wanted to say died on his tongue, rotted and festered and decayed leaving a foul taste in his mouth. ‘ you dropped this. here. ’ he all but shoved the money at her, ready to walk away and act as if this never happened.
