studies will show that in many cases, bisexual individuals show staggering amounts of self-loathing, suicidal ideation, substance abuse and mental illness, and this is only ever attributed to homophobia (or internalized homophobia). somehow. when homosexual people--technically the most hypervisible of the lgbt--are not pulling the same numbers. they'll tell stories about poverty rates and how bisexual people tend to be "closer" to heterosexual people or how bisexual people are more populous anyways (like these studies don't factor that in), so that's why they're pulling those numbers. or they're hypersexual so of course they're confused and fucked up. of course.
when one simple answer to all these trends is that biphobia as a prejudice distinct from homophobia makes the closet and the conversion camp a continuum for bisexuals--even in designated "safe zones." endless coming-outs and going-back-ins. because people ignored you the first time, debated you the second (treated you like a hypothetical for a mental exercise), and convinced you the third time that now that you're one of them you can finally be "accepted" and "happy." you can finally "settle down" into your "true self."
"i knew deep down you weren't gay. you're too much of a man." "i knew you were too cool to be bisexual. you like women too much." "i turned him straight." "i turned her lesbian."
tactics of conversion therapy include (but are not limited to) talk "therapy" and several cognitive behavioural techniques that treat an individual's orientation as an obstacle, addiction, disease, etc. more religious methods would resort to prayer and "counselling" and shaming (e.g. "bisexuals are sooooo annoying/cringe")
these tactics (among others) are responsible for decades-worth of precious lesbian, gay and bisexual lives being destroyed or taken altogether.
now let's look at the common things bisexuals often hear from friends, family, peers and the media:
"Bi now, gay later" "it's just a phase" = both re-enforce bisexuality as transient but also unnatural since it is always moving towards something more acceptable/normal. this creates guilt in a bisexual when they do not "outgrow" themselves and fail to "achieve maturity."
"pick a side" "bisexuals are greedy" "hasbian" = make conformity to monosexuality a moral imperative, creating guilt and distress within the bisexual person when they cannot conform to anything else, making them believe they are inherently harmful, dangerous, evil, sinful and untrustworthy.
"you can't be bi if you're married to a man/woman"/"how do you know if you haven't been with both?" = coerces the bisexual individual into endless performance meant to appease and please the biphobe, since there's no other way to "prove" said sexuality because it cannot exist and is not accepted as a legitimate, independent orientation.
"you're just confused" = denies the plausibility of bisexuality and also pathologizes the bisexual person so that they distrust their feelings, emotions and memories.
all these (and more i have not mentioned) are routinely told to bisexuals by their partners, parents, friends, family and strangers. monosexual models in education, law and advocacy make it so that this form of prejudice is not acknowledged or legitimized, and is thus invisibilized. the core of this rhetoric stems from the prevailing refusal to acknowledge bisexuality as a distinct orientation--separate from both homosexuality and heterosexuality--not a mix of the two.
the idea that a bisexual is "half gay" or "half straight" is also part and parcel of conversion rhetoric at work: bisexuality is not an orientation, but an availability of homosexuality OR heterosexuality to a monosexual, and thus the decision to pick one is always within the power of this individual who finds themselves in possession of such power. they insist we can pick sides because our orientation is not innate, but akin to being two roads we have the liberty to walk down on (and must walk down on).
yes, that too is conversion rhetoric. because it assumes the unnaturalness of bisexuality (as innate) thus its external-ness (a mysterious power/illness acting on another human being) which further presumes its transience ("it's a phase") HENCE we ought to be (indeed, can be) either cured of it or freed from it by the love of a true human being (a monosexual) who will collapse the superpositional state of bisexuality into its true, complete and whole form (homosexuality/heterosexuality). or we could take on the trouble ourselves and just make up our minds on "which path" to walk down on.
a rejection of bisexuality as a legitimate orientation is never innocent. biphobic conversion tactics are a direct consequence of this persistent belief, nevertheless, and should be treated as the threat to bisexual health they are.
because guess what the psychological effects of conversion tactics are?
depression and suicidality (it doubles the odds)
PTSD/CPTSD (symptoms include bad cognitive functioning such as brain fog, memory loss and insomnia)
anxiety and panic attacks
lower economic attainment
loss of community and relationships
interesting, isn't it? very interesting how easy the data is to interpret when you take biphobia seriously.
and yet, you will not find internalized biphobia (while you will find internalized homophobia/transphobia) listed as an outcome of such abuse. abuse that causes bisexuals anxiety and distress over their sexuality, others and isolates them from their peers, creates "hypersexual" bisexuals who stereotypically "struggle with commitment," or who numb their dissatisfaction with faux-acceptance using alcohol or drugs. abuse that convinces them they are all alone and better off not being in a relationship (where they can harm someone) or even dead.
"why does it matter so much that people know you're a bisexual?" because it is foundational to being accepted. because love accepts the person whole. why is that easy to understand for everyone else but the bisexual?
NOTE: the coercive nature of heteronormative society is bound to negatively affect every individual that deviates from heterosexuality in any way. this post is not asserting that homosexual/transgender/asexual individuals do not or cannot have such experiences with erasure and conversion rhetoric being used on them in a more private setting, but that there is a unique way in which biphobia propagates itself in broader society due to how bisexuality is perceived and how bisexuals are treated. do not derail.
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