not a dr

Too smart to be affected by the dunning-kruger effect.

[drbased]

My tags

my writing: everything I've written that I feel is worth preserving (since I started the tag, anyway)

theory posting: my desire to seek to understand the fundamentals of the male psyche and what forms the foundation of patriarchy

wisdom posting: all that I have learned in the process of my period of rapid growth and development. this isn't banal lifeless statements of positivity; true wisdom is hard-won, constructed by bloody hands out of hopeful desperation. and you can't attain true wisdom without true empathy, and you can't do that without (radical) feminism.

symbolic states: a theory I have developed on a state of mind that I experienced for ~10 years whereby one's relationship with reality/the fundamentals of cause and effect is fractured and an overlay of aesthetic/narrative/ritual is applied to all perception of reality, forming the trance-like 'symbolic state'.

partisan posting: where I directly engage with radical feminism and leftism together, and call out radblr's tendency to lean centrist in nature, as well as the tendency to use right-wing sources to 'own the transes'. If you're unfollowed/blocked, that's probably because I saw you share the daily mail at some point.

previous pinned posts: not what it says on the tin anymore but I’m keeping the tag anyway. Posts I’d like to pin but tumblr sensibly only lets you tag one.

[drbased]

Saw this on some random recommended post and uhhh, does this seem like somebody took a radfem post and switched out all mentions of men with ‘American’?

[ttrpgsmoved-deactivated20240903]

no way in hell

[ttrpgsmoved-deactivated20240903]

hey stop being funnier than me on my own post

[neopetdestroyer]

[unmooredonasundayevening]

It's not a question of whether men and women are different but why those differences, real or perceived, always seem to be handled in a way that favors men. Take for instance the idea that men can't control themselves when women dress or act a certain way, usually the proposed solution is to regulate women's behavior and women's clothing choices. Or the notion of men being "bad" at childcare or housework. The solution is to have women do it for free. It's not treated as a failure on men's part, it's just beneath them! That's what wives and moms and sisters are for! Keep in mind these stereotypes aren't true, they're just instructive as to how we react when men are believed to have some kind of shortcoming. You don't often see people questioning whether a guy should be holding political office if he loses all sense at the sight of a woman in a bikini and he can't or won't figure out how to work a dishwasher. Meanwhile, women's perceived shortcomings are hammered endlessly as justification for excluding and subjugating us. Women's under-representation "real" jobs like welding, plumbing, etc. (I suspect these would cease to be considered "real" work if mostly women did them), women's relative performance in tasks requiring physical strength, these are all purportedly evidence that women just aren't as good as men, that patriarchy is justified and necessary. Ok rant done.

[unmooredonasundayevening]

The way feminism is talked about sometimes you'd think women were some kind of niche special interest and not like, half the population. "I can't believe they're changing this policy/doing this thing for GENDER EQUALITY" like yeah it's almost like improving the status and material conditions of roughly 4 billion people is an important goal worth some individual and collective sacrifice. Let's tax professional athlete salaries to fund universal child care. Let's have quotas for female characters in video games. IDGAF.

[drbased]

Why was everybody raving about Weapons like it's any good

Spoilers under the cut but if you're a killjoy feminist like me you'll have no respect for this film

This film was literally just 'crazy witch lady is stealing and corrupting children with her dark magic'. She has this crazy stupid makeup on when we first see her and like, all I could think of is, oh, we're supposed to mock this woman. She might be evil and powerful but she looks comically stupid. When the children eventually turn on her at the end she's all old and losing her hair and all I could think of was all the other horror movies where an old woman is considered scary by default. And then the children literally rip her to shreds in an incredibly gory scene - I always side-eye extreme violence to women esp. female villains in media, there's always something low-key voyeuristic/revenge fantasy about it for the audience. I think it's implied that she was going to use these children as weapons to like, restore her health or something? That combined with the makeup just reminded me of all those stories where an old woman is trying to remain young/steal someone's youth. And she literally did steal a bunch of children - not only that, she stole them from a much younger female teacher. The metaphor is only just obfuscated.

Funnily enough the scene where I properly checked out was when Alex saw both his parents completely still, he only yelled 'dad!' and splashed the water on his dad's face. And then when she made them stab themselves with forks, he once again only yelled 'dad!' and tried to stop his dad. His mum was just a non-entity I suppose, who gives a shit, right? Also the dad of Matthew was the one who was all obsessed with finding his kid, not the mum - once again, she was just... around, living her life. Films like this are such a dumbass power fantasy for men who don't know their kid's birthday.

Yeah this film was misogynistic trash. If anyone has a more nuanced take I'm willing to consider it, but I was not impressed.

[drbased]

@beautifulmorningstar I agree. So much stuff wasn’t explained, the use of different people’s timelines felt gimmicky, and I can’t figure out what tone it was going for. Like some of it was sort of scary but it also dragged for long periods.

Also I know this is a nitpick but who tf falls asleep in their car outside someone’s house without locking the door??

I’ve not seen sinners, that’ll be my next watch!

[lustforlifehotel-deactivated202]

i think i’ve said this before but there are hundreds of men who truly belive rape is worse when it happens to them

[puttingherinhistory]

On average rapists who target boys and men are given tougher sentences than rapists who target girls and women. I’d say it’s more than just hundreds if systematically rapists are punished more severely if they target boys and men, considering most judges giving these tougher sentences for anyone who targets boys and men but a more lenient sentence if they target girls and women are men themselves.

[lemonsweet]

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

[drbased]

Why was everybody raving about Weapons like it's any good

Spoilers under the cut but if you're a killjoy feminist like me you'll have no respect for this film

This film was literally just 'crazy witch lady is stealing and corrupting children with her dark magic'. She has this crazy stupid makeup on when we first see her and like, all I could think of is, oh, we're supposed to mock this woman. She might be evil and powerful but she looks comically stupid. When the children eventually turn on her at the end she's all old and losing her hair and all I could think of was all the other horror movies where an old woman is considered scary by default. And then the children literally rip her to shreds in an incredibly gory scene - I always side-eye extreme violence to women esp. female villains in media, there's always something low-key voyeuristic/revenge fantasy about it for the audience. I think it's implied that she was going to use these children as weapons to like, restore her health or something? That combined with the makeup just reminded me of all those stories where an old woman is trying to remain young/steal someone's youth. And she literally did steal a bunch of children - not only that, she stole them from a much younger female teacher. The metaphor is only just obfuscated.

Funnily enough the scene where I properly checked out was when Alex saw both his parents completely still, he only yelled 'dad!' and splashed the water on his dad's face. And then when she made them stab themselves with forks, he once again only yelled 'dad!' and tried to stop his dad. His mum was just a non-entity I suppose, who gives a shit, right? Also the dad of Matthew was the one who was all obsessed with finding his kid, not the mum - once again, she was just... around, living her life. Films like this are such a dumbass power fantasy for men who don't know their kid's birthday.

Yeah this film was misogynistic trash. If anyone has a more nuanced take I'm willing to consider it, but I was not impressed.

[qelflinq]

She would be soooo obnoxious 🫦 girl riddler drawings with @loladotcom

[purupurupikopuyo]

[jame7t]

Planet Suckulon 5 has declared war on Earth

[slopgirlier]

[drbased]

anyway my version of looking sexy is wearing jeans and a t shirt with shaggy hair. on both men and women if I'm honest. why aren't my fellow women with an 'appreciation for female beauty' on my level

[drbased]

The whole ‘if men didn’t exist we’d dress hotter’ is so irritating… girl you do realise that your entire conceptualisation of the concept of ‘hot’ has been constructed and perpetuated by men. Like most of you are straight, you wouldn’t know what looks hot on a woman without being told by men; men existing are the reason why you're drawn to sexy clothing in the first place. Men aren't fantasising about not having women around so they can walk around in mankinis, get a grip.

[finnishrogue]

so many women still don't realize that the standard of women being expected to act like non-sexual virgin madonnas and the standard that they should be ultra-sexy whores in skimpy outfits are BOTH from patriarchy.

men tell you to dress hotter for their pleasure AND they also tell you to cover yourself up. it can be the very same man asking you to do both. he wants you to be a dehumanized sex toy, sometimes at display and sometimes hidden away.

trying to focus on one side of the problem will never break you free. the problem is not that you're not "allowed" to dress sexy. the problem is not that you're not "allowed" to dress modestly. the problem is that men have tried their very best to manipulate you into thinking that their ideas about you are your own.

[drbased]

I can't be arsed to argue so instead I'm screenshotting this batshit response.

[drbased]

So I am going to rant about this because I'm petty like that. It's my blog, sue me.

So I'm pretty sure that this is the remade account of the person who used to go by 'eldopism' - an account I was MUTUALS. WITH. and who often went against the grain of typical radblr rhetoric, which I liked, but I unfollowed because of her lesbophobia. I find it funny how despite the fact that we were literal mutuals and I am EXTREMELY open about being a straight woman and have maintained the same username and pfp for literally years now, she doesn't seem to maintain enough respect to remember this about me.

So let's go through this point by point, shall we?

I can speak for straight women. Because I'm one of them. This is not something I keep a secret, but her lesbophobia is so obsessive that she sees a take she doesn't like and just like, assumes that some patronising lesbian said it. I know I said 'most of you are straight' but I was addressing the women I see peddle this kind of rhetoric online, I could have been more clear IG but once again, I am literally straight and she should know that.

It's weird to assume that when something is in air quotes that it's always a direct quote. A lot of people, yanno, paraphrase - and I was indeed paraphrasing from a collective of rhetoric I've seen, including videos of women literally demonstrating the sexy outfits they'd wear.

Jesus fucking christ. Yes, I do mean 'hot' as in 'sexy'. That's literally the most basic, universal understanding of the term.

And lol no, my point is not far-fetched. You ask an average straight man what he thinks women are attracted to and he has no goddamn idea.

'Most straight women have an appreciation of female beauty' WE. LIVE. IN. A. PATRIARCHY. THAT. DRILLS. INTO. OUR. HEADS. UNIVERSAL. FEMALE. ATTRACTIVENESS. IN. ORDER. TO. JUSTIFY. MEN'S. SEXUAL. OBJECTIFICATION. OF. US.

As a straight woman, I can recognise if someone is attractive, but I'll be honest, and call it autistic if you want, I do not understand the appeal of 'dressing sexy' outside of its utilitarian value in getting me sex. The vast vast vast vast majority of the time I go around in practical clothing.

Do you even know what sexuality is? Sexuality is something you project outwards. I feel sexual desire for men, I find them sexually attractive, I want to see them looking sexy. My sexual desire has nothing to do with my own looks - that's the goddamn point of it. So going back to point 4, it's not far-fetched to think that I wouldn't know what looks attractive on me because that's not like, my job. I have told men what I actively find attractive on them, and vice versa. I don't have some window into other people's minds and there is no universal objective female attractiveness that I just like, tap into. Yeah, I have to be told, because otherwise I wouldn't give a shit. This isn't a naivety thing it's just straight up theory of mind.

Also are you fucking serious right now? Do you think women would want to wear heels and make-up if men hadn't cultivated them as a social and cultural norm for us? Do you seriously consider yourself any sort of feminist whilst going to bat for social norms that have been ingrained into us for deeply misogynistic reasons?

God this is some patronising bullshit. As if I don't know that women dress a certain way for safety. Once again, we were mutuals, she knows what my goddamn stance is.

I literally clarified what I meant by sexy in a reply to the post - yes, I meant actually sexy, not just skimpy outfits or whatever. She could have read that before deciding that I was just dumb and don't know what I'm talking about but whatever.

[fawnstarmoss]

STOP calling women hoes bitches and whatnot you are embarrassing!!!!!

[the-haiku-bot]

STOP calling women

hoes bitches and whatnot you

are embarrassing!!!!!

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.