Josh

I'm a mess welcome to my tumblr x

[nocontextgoodplace]

[frderickchilton-deactivated2014]

When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message

[frenchtugboat]

ABORT MISSION

[brianttran-deactivated20120224]

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

[ovod0se]

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

[whatgracelikes-deactivated20190]

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

[ameriagrae]

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

[larryismyhallelujah-blog]

goddamn it

[lollie-pond-deactivated20150728]

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

[steampoweredplayer]

Koop

[twirliest]

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

[nathanvj]

1.4 almost ps not risking it

[queenprotein-deactivated2016012]

Fuck this post

[i-likethesummer-rain]

2.5 million notes I hate myself

[assyrianjalebi]

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977)

[pixie-tot]

why are non-millennials so personally offended by everything? like if i’m still wearing my jacket indoors, it’s because i’m cold, not because i disrespect your home/your classroom !! if somebody has got your order wrong, it’s because they’re very busy and simply made a mistake, not because they’re trying to jeopardise your meal !! if somebodies phone rings during a meeting/lecture, it’s because they accidentally forgot to put it on silent, not because they want to disrupt your speech !! just calm down, sharon, not everything is about you

[thelittlemerms]

my personal favorite is when you yawn and they’re like “am I boring you?”

like bitch i’m running on five hours of sleep and chronic anxiety 

[queenixx]

its funny how you say non-millennials as if millennials aren’t offended bei every little tiny thing that could possibly happen

[pyrothorax]

being offended by wearing a coat inside is very different to being offended by violent racism but sure enjoy your tea

[troyeslittlenuggett]

Reblogging for the last comment

[imhungup]

never have i seen a more relatable character oh my god

[sokovia]

everyone: spiderman’s suit looks sooo fake, it doesnt even look like hes a real person!!

me: *remember this*

[level5goblin]

[jonbutter]

when ur scrollin thru tumblr while eating lunch and porn comes up

[asiafish-deactivated20200729]

Hey remember that episode of Spongebob where Sandy sings about being homesick for Texas and Spongebob and Patrick overhear it and are worried that she’s going to leave Bikini Bottom so they have a Texas party at the Krusty Krab with all their friends, recreating things in Sandy’s song but they fuck it up like, pecan pie is just a can of peas shoved in a pie, barbeque is barbed wire in the shape of a Q, and the ten gallon hats are just plastic water jugs on their heads, and like…. Sandy just laughs so hard she breaks into tears, cause she sees what they’re trying to do for her to make her feel at home because they love her and don’t want her to leave…………… yo do you ever think about that goddamn episode

[cartoon-deactivated20220930]

And then she realizes she’s already at home bc she’s with them and they all love her so much? Nickelodeon didn’t have to go that hard but they did gotdamn

[ohjadewhatshername-deactivated2]

remember that she killed patrick for making fun of texas

[brainstatic]

Just a heads up right now: on the day when Trump dies, I’m going to be extremely tasteless about it. It’s going to get ugly. You are going to see a side of me I am not proud of. I don’t want any call-outs in my inbox, I’m stating right now that lines will be crossed.

[stoned-dahmer-deactivated201802]

How disgusting can someone be

I wouldn’t even say this about my worst enemy

Forget the fact that its trump. If you agree with this youre fucking evil. Evil literally lives inside you. Wow.

[a-really-bad-decision]

Anyways all of y’all AND the evil that literally lives inside of you are invited to the sick ass house party I’m throwing when lord dampnut kicks the bucket

[dracofidus-deactivated20200523]

I feel like all you Americans need to take a look at what happened here in the UK after Maggie Thatcher died. Because when it comes to tasteless celebrations fuelled by anger and the death of a hated political leader, we REALLY pushed the boat out. We had street parties. We had burning effigies. We pushed “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” to the top of the charts out of sheer hatred. Bone up kiddos, and I really hope you manage to do that truly American thing, of dramatically outdoing us with your celebrations.

[truth-has-a-liberal-bias]

Reblogging for last comment.

[tescosfinest-deactivated2013111]

i’m using Internet Explorer, i hope this posts quickly. happy new year 2011

[glowstickhaloboy]

its awesome because the longer this post circulates the funnier it will get

[unabashedlybi-deactivated201911]

[nessa007]

[daydrinkbeliever]

Vodka aunt v. Wine mom

[omnomnominator]

[paulsrockinpagoda]

when they say simpons did it already

they’re not fucking kidding

[maclonna-deactivated20160905]

[pickleston]

[thebuttkingpost-deactivated2021]

this is exactly tumblr when someone makes up some historical bullshit