i don't give a squid

[dogshitdotnet]

how do we get the kids to talk like this

[despazito]

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

hey.. two people were asking about you… so i gave them your address and phone number… their names were Skeletal Warrior and Skeletal Ice Mage

[powerburial]

how to make smalltalk with strangers in a hot tub:

- ahh the hot water soothes my open sores

- i have to go to the bathroom so bad but the waters so nice i dont want to get out

[elliespectacular]

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

[woodrider]

ma'am, I'm going to place you on a brief hold while I look for a reaction image

[pochowek]

Visit Original Link

[eebie]

i want a perfect buddy i want a perfect bro

[orcboxer]

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse

[mon3trs]

in space no one can hear you moan like a girl

[fat-fuck-hairy-belly]

Ground control here, we can hear you just fine

[yellow-cat]

do u think i can go for a run today or is that something only normal people are allowed to do

[thisisdogs]

weird animals run all the time dude

[yellow-cat]

im going to go for a scamper and scare everyone

[cosmonautroger]

Proboscis Monkey

[captain-price-returns]

driving my 6000 lb cry for help to chipotle

[rnismatch]

wow what the fuck? CNN just interviewed Solrock

[rnismatch]

[mentalhellonline]

[bigtigers]

I’m dancing on my feet, I’m hitting concrete, I’m eating raw meat. Got a fat baby belly and i’m here to say its fun to bark everyday. Dogburg is my city, my paws are itty bitty.

[screenshotsofdespair]