Tonight be one of those ācannot sleep, must think about Cardiā nights.
Tonightās topic: āHow do we even know what was real?ā
In RHRN, Cardiās brain replaced evidence of Sisterās sickness with innocent things, like a fancy chair and biscuits. But how do we know those were the only things his brain ever replaced? How do we know everything in the chapters actually happened?
Was the loud music really there when Cardi was talking to Psalty on the beach?
Did Psalty really turn and grin evilly at Cardi while pushing Sisterās coffin?
Did Sister really say āJesus is comingā?
My gut says that the answer to these three is probably yes; Cardiās RHRN hallucinations took place during a high stress situation (from his POV a mere few shows away from his possible demise), and surrounded a topic that Cardi didnāt want to think about or recognise. Theoretically, neither of these are true of the previous three scenarios.
But that doesnāt mean his hallucinations donāt have other triggers. Triggers we donāt know about yet.
And aināt that just a scary concept? Your mum suddenly dies right in front of you, you realise youāve been hallucinating every time youāve been around her for who knows how long and you have no idea what you really did together in that time, and then youāre suddenly thrust into a position of authority youād had no idea you should be preparing yourself for. All the while, nothing around you feels trustworthy anymore. Because if your brain could lie about the things around your mother, then what if itās doing the same elsewhere, and you just havenāt realised it yet?
Suddenly, even the bed you sleep in comes into question. Reality blurs at the edges. Imagination runs free, conjuring up horrific secret scenarios taking place behind seemingly solid walls ā evil thoughts in the brains of loved ones. Because nothing the eyes can see can be trusted. Maybe none of the senses can be trusted.
Reality becomes unknowable. Intangible. Terrifying.
Anyway, my theory of the night is that Cardi hallucinated the blood in chapter 25. Heās actually tucked up in bed at the Ministry right now, having been brought inside from where he was standing there in shock, traumatised by a vivid hallucination of his own death.
Heās slowly getting better. š
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