A Simple Tumble?

mostly harmless | old enough to know better 

[professorsparklepants]

Fucking crying over Madame D'aulnoy's version of beauty & the beast and how it goes down. The beautiful and benevolent* king is trapped in a hole by an ugly fairy who confesses her love to him.

The king: (internally) gross.

The king: ma'am I'd be happy to consider your suit but can you let me out of this hole first.

The fairy: HA! NOW I SEE YOUR HEART IS FALSE! If you truly loved me you would be content anywhere in the world! In the dampest dungeon or the driest desert, you would only need my presence to be happy!

The king: okay but the fact that you trapped me in this hole before you confessed to me means you knew my answer would be no and are just using this as an excuse to get mad at me.

The fairy: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! CURSING YOU FOREVER!

*I got the implication here that he's not a bad person but he was kind of an asshole but didn't realize it

[passionpeachy]

kissies for us meeses

[helenvaughans]

[cuppydogshane]

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

[hyperlexichypatia]

People in the notes are saying "You can!" referring just to the hospital visitation part, and sure (depending). But people should have access to ALL of the benefits of marriage without needing to be married.

You should be able to add anyone you want on your health insurance plan.

You should be able to sponsor the visa of anyone you choose to move to your home country.

You should be able to name anyone you choose as the legal-from-birth legal coparent of any child you give birth to.

You should be able to apply for student aid on your own at any age.

And yes, yes, ideally healthcare and college should be free, international migration should be unrestricted, and the entire concept of legal parenthood should be rewritten from the ground up. But right now we're talking about marriage benefits.

[mylordshesacactus]

For all that the 1800s etiquette guides are--obviously--derangedly sexist from a modern perspective? They're also mindblowing in how casually they will assert things that MODERN DAY CONSERVATIVES would scream and cry and shit their pants about.

"People back then always married young it's natural!!!" Every single 1800s guide I've ever met casually mentions that, of course, you really shouldn't get married before you're at least 20, and waiting until 25 is usually better.

Or, like. Okay here's a long segment:

Just firmly going "it is crazy sexist to blame The Wife for overspending when thirty seconds of asking questions will immediately establish that her husband was outright lying to her about how much money they had. Talk to your wife like a normal person."

Or--okay, here. A section on being honest and not writing love letters in secret, because that's usually a good sign that there's something untoward going on....

....except that he then immediately acknowledges that sometimes, the reason you're hiding this from your parents is that your parents suck. That there are parents who frankly have not earned the right to approve or disapprove of your partner.

(I realize the phrasing there sounds a lot less strong than my summary, but--trust me on this. When you're familiar with the narrative voice of these kinds of books, this passage is downright radical. The mere acknowledgement that if you treat your kids badly, it's your own damn fault when they don't talk to you? I've genuinely never seen that before in this genre. Don't freak out over "properly trained", either. It's just a linguistic shift--at the time, "training" was used the way we would say "raising" a child today. )

[mylordshesacactus]

"Delete all the nudes and sexts after a breakup or you're a piece of shit" has been the standard expectation since EIGHT. TEEN. EIGHTY. FIVE.

[mylordshesacactus]

"Men and women being friends with each other is literally normal. Don't be a controlling freak."

Anyway I was wrong the publishing date is actually 1882 so like.

[mylordshesacactus]

"If you have to abuse a child to keep order in your classroom then you're a bad teacher."

So like @ the modern Republican party, are the "traditional family values" in the fucking room with us right now--

[jkparkin]

Wonder Woman #35 (DC, July 2026) variant cover by Miguel Mercado

[devinellekurtz]

Cover art I painted for Renegades by Erin Hunter! Link to the HarperCollins page

[artsytoad]

Jael, Beauty in Space

www.artsytoad.tumblr.com

[artsytoad]

Frank Brunner, Dr. Strange

www.artsytoad.tumblr.com

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[pmamtraveller]

by Zygmunt Zaradkiewicz

[pmamtraveller]

Cats, by Rozenn Grosjean.

[nosimpincurly]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[catherinebunnington]

Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

[yesterdaysprint]

Daily Mirror, England, February 18, 1930 Image © The British Library Board. All Rights Reserved.

[gay-jesus-probably]

Eternal respect to the bitch on the right dressed as a cavewoman

[lemoocado]

moon lady 🌕

[myarmcanfly]

Fat Horse No. 19

It’s the year of the horse and I’ve always been a horse girl at heart, so I’m finally taking advantage of the excuse to fill the world with fat little horses! These felted friends are about the size (and shape!) of an apple, and if you happen to have any apples to share I’m sure they’d help you out! When I started making these, I knew I absolutely had to make the Lascaux cave painting horse. There’s no more classic fat horse in the world!

This piece is SOLD but I’m already hard at work on a herd of new ones for Furrydelphia, August 7-9th!

[pmamtraveller]

"Witchy Cats Dance" by artist Kelsey Short.