In Love with a Fictional Character
In Japanāor within the world of manga and animeāpeople speak of "waifus" (female anime characters) and "husbandos" (male anime characters). Every now and then, one hears of weddings in Japan where real people marry such fictional characters.
This phenomenonāwhere fans "fall in love" with fictional charactersācan be observed in the Western world as well.
Fictitious sexuality...
This is common among people who fear rejection from real people. These individuals tend to escape into fantasy worlds and quickly "fall in love" with fictional characters from anime or novels. A fictional character can't reject you. You can idealize them, mold them into a perfect fairytale prince.
The dangerous thing about anime characters is that they are idealized, portrayed according to the ideals of Japanese culture. They are perfect: large eyes, toned bodies, brave (almost suicidal), often possess superhuman strength, and are usually good-looking. There's something for everyoneāfat, thin, athletic, tall, short, young, old, funny, serious, sensitive, hair color in every imaginable colors, and eye color in every conceivable color... It's no wonder that people quickly "fall in love" with such fictional characters.
The same phenomenon can be observed in the fanbase of novels like Harry Potter.
How do I know this? Personal experience.
I was completely obsessed with an anime character, escaping into his world because I was struggling with the real world. He was my muse. I started by collecting pictures of him online, then drew pictures, wrote fanfiction, until I lost myself in that world. For almost nine years, things went well, then came the breakdown.
I painfully learned that hiding in a fantasy world and idolizing a fictional character, a Japanese cartoon character, isn't sustainable. Yes, I'll call it what it is: AN ANIMATED CHARACTER.
An animated character is an image, an object that can't answer me back, can't hug me, can't protect me. That's reality.
Now I'm learning to face reality because it's the world I live in, and I have to accept it as it is.
To get over the anime character, I keep telling myself: He's just a cartoon character, like Donald Duck, like Humer Simpson, like Bugs Bunny. I use these cartoon characters as examples to realize how absurd it is to be "in love" with a cartoon character.
And love is something completely different from obsession. I know this because I'm incapable of loving "rationally."
Unfortunately, this issue is downplayed far too much. Instead of claiming that it is okay to be in love with a fictional character, one should rather ask why one is more interested in fictional characters than in real people. There may be underlying psychological issuesāsuch as a toxic environment or social phobia.
My conclusion is this: In the long run, taking refuge in a fantasy world does not end well. Drifting off into a fantasy world every now and then while readingāor occasionally dreaming of a Prince Charmingāis fine. But when daydreams become increasingly frequent, prolonged, and intenseāto the point where reality itself is rejectedāthen it becomes dangerous. At that point, one should seek helpāfrom a therapist, for instance.
