Ramblings Of A Boring Bookworm

We’re all trying

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny: Give- give me all your valuables!

Jason: What?

Danny: Give me all your valuables! Everything in your pocket!

Jason: Are you...mugging me?

Danny: Yes and if you don't I'll be force to shoot you!

Jason: Kid, is that a homemade gun? Did you superglue it together from trash?

Danny: So what if it is and if I did use the trash?! This is one of the most powerful ray guns to ever grace your pathetic world!

Jason: How old are you?

Danny: Fifteen!

Jason: You're not even at waist high.

Danny: I was de-aged when sent through a portal at the Time God's tower! I may look seven but I'm one year away from being legally allowed to sign up for driver's ed!

Jason: *Laughs* yeah? And you made a ray gun from a broken flashlight?

Danny: You think this is funny? Ill shoot you! I will!

Jason: *Holding out his arms* Go ahead, I love to see what your inventions does.

Danny: *Pulls trigger*

Jason: *Being slammed into the wall by pure light and temporarily blinded* WHAT THE HELL !

Danny: I AM A FENTON! FEAR US! *loots his body fallen body* WE'RE UNSTOPPABLE!

Jason: Kid, Wait! Don't go! How did you make light solid enough to feel like i got hit with firefighter hose!? KID!?

Danny: *Running down the alley way cackling*

Danny: You'll never catch me ALIVE!

[kat-with-cats]

This was drawn for the Desert Illusions story

https://archiveofourown.org/works/70038386?view_full_work=true

[absolutely-esme]

Amity Park is different

Amity Park has a local superhero.

He's great. He works hard to protect his town. That said, Amity's local hero is a teenager. The people he relies on to help and support him are teenagers. The town's superhero defense is a handful of kids figuring things out on their own.

They do good, but sometimes the people of Amity have to be prepared to lend a hand or hold their own for a bit. That's just how life is under these conditions. Communities come together and support each other. It's fine. People adapt. Life goes on. They're really doing quite well.

A class from Amity Park visits a museum in Gotham on a field trip. They get caught in an unfortunately timed Scarecrow attack.

Scarecrow should have known better than to activate the fight or flight responses of a group of Amity Parkers.

The gas canister drops and discharges. The field trip group explodes into action.

A pair of Football players quickly overturns a table and use it as a shield as they charge the goons with the most firepower. Cheerleaders toss each other into the air for aerial attacks. Nerds turn objects from a nearby Janitor closet into a surprisingly effective trebuchet with astounding speed. One girl utilizes impressive martial arts skills.

A boy with Black hair and blue eyes flits about the battlefield pilfering and disassembling weapons with a shocking degree of efficiency as a Goth girl follows him around and bludgeon anyone who attempts to make a grab for him with a stand that had been holding up a rope barrier, and a boy in a beret lays down cover fire by launching pencils out of a makeshift bow formed from a binder and rubber bands with a startling degree of accuracy.

The teacher flits around pulling kids out of the path of attacks they hadn't seen, stowing any injured behind cover, and giving foes solid thwack on the noggin when the opportunity arises. He actually ends up knocking out Scarecrow himself.

The statement "We're not trapped in here with you. You're trapped in here with us," is repeated several times by different people.

When the Bats or police arrive, they have to carefully pull the feildtrip group off of the unfortunate rogues.

It takes a while to get the antidotes administered, but they do eventually manage. The class remains in defensive formation the whole time.

When the kids finally calm down enough to give statements, they mostly just say that Scarecrow gets what he gets for deliberately activating Amity Parkers' fight or flight responses. After the antidotes take effect, the class seems unfazed and goes about their business as soon as the authorities allow.

Some other visitors to the museum upload videos of the event online with titles like "the one class that was prepared for a field trip to Gotham" and "What kind of place is Amity Park, and why haven't I heard of it before?"

It doesn't take long for people to edit the videos to set the fight to music. Popular song choices include Ballroom Blitz, Bring 'em Out by Hawk Nelson, and the "we like to party" song from the six flags commercial.

Now the Bats are investigating Amity Park (and why they haven't heard of it before).

[lady-of-threads]

There are many fanfictions where Denny, as the Ghost King, is summoned by various cults, and thus he meets the Justice League or the BatFamily. However, you know what I've never seen? Denny's complete hysteria in this situation

What am I talking about? Usually, if a sacrifice is used in a ritual, they're still alive by the time Danny arrives, so the king can collect the offering himself. Or there might be no sacrifices at all. Or Danny might become super-cool and immune to sacrifices, and since he's the king of the dead, why would he be afraid of corpses? However, I strongly disagree with

Think about it! When Denny overthrew Pariah, he was only about 15 years old in the cartoon's timeline. Did he see people with abrasions? Yes, often. Burns? Constantly on the bodies of his friends who had been shot by the GIW or the Fentons. Any dirt? Maybe, but only ghosts, and ghosts, firstly, green, which makes the brain perceive this dirt differently, secondly, a ghost can flatten, and he immediately returns to his original form, although just now he was a puddle. Can a people do this? No.

And now, imagine, the news that the King has changed spreads among the cults. Some particularly dubious cult immediately decides to "establish connections" with the new King, and for this, of course, they need the most beautiful sacrifice they can offer. The League is too late, and a number of people have already been brutally slashed in the ritual, perhaps even having their heads impaled on stakes. Danny is called upon, and he is a teenager who has never seen anything like this before

And so the Justice League gets to meet an incredibly powerful teenager, the Ghost King, who is hysterical, maybe even trapped in a ritual circle with the bodies, and it only makes things worse. No one expected this reaction from the Ghost King, and the League is already starting the "victim" protocol in his direction, and all they want to do right now is get the boy out of the traumatic situation and figure out what the hell is going on.

[thebubblesareevil]

Dc x dp prompt: Why do I hear boss music?

I might use this in one of my fics but it popped in my head and now I need to share. Putting this in my Life on the farm context with Danny Kent;

Johnny likes to flirt. He doesn’t care if you’re a girl, a boy, or undecided, he just really likes to flirt.

And while he may love Kitty, he also really appreciates a well cut figure.

So when he takes a drive through metropolis on his way to fight Phantom, he can’t help but flirt a bit with the hot hero flying around in that tight costume.

He probably should have realized something was off when Kitty didn’t scold him for flirting.

Instead, he’s interpreted mid-flirt, the hot hero’s face a bright red, by the unmistakable sound of boss music.

“Ancients! You didn’t leave ANYTHING to the imagination when you made that-“ he froze mid-air as the hero floundered. “Why do I hear boss music?”

He looks down and sees that Kitty has hi-jacked some rando’s speakers and yells “babe! Why are you playing boss music??”

Kitty just smirks and points behind Johnny. He doesn’t really get a chance to see what she was pointing at before Phantom was on him a feral beast.

Johnny struggled to escape, his hands leaving trails in the concrete as Phantom picked him up from the ground.

“I FUCKING WARNED YOU JOHNNY!” He roared as he beat the shit out of the blonde ghost. He threw him across town, phasing him through the buildings.

“FIRST MY BIG SISTER, NOW MY BROTHER?!?!?!” He screamed as Johnny called for shadow. He barely escaped before Phantom let loose a massive ecto blast.

“IF I EVER CATCH YOU FLIRTING WITH MY SIBLINGS AGAIN, NOT EVEN SHADOW’LL BE ABLE TO HELP YOU!!!!!”

—

When Danny gets back to metropolis he lectures Clark about flirting with ghosts as Lois records the whole thing to use as blackmail later.

(Johnny is unaware Danny has another brother, what happened next is his own fault)

[thelazydetectivecat]

Danny is Bruce's son except he wants to be apart of another hero team DP X DC

Danny and Bruce's son except he wants to be apart of another hero team

Bruce: so here are the supers you would get along with them. Green lanterns , Diana and-

Constantine coming in with a flask of wine and soaked

Danny: father I want that one

Bruce: Danny that's a magic user

Danny: that's fine having a magic user in the family would be efficient would be much more efficient than having to call someone don't you think?

Clark: Danny I don't think that's a good idea how about we go with another magic user?

Nw: like Raven or Zatanna!

Danny: no I want the suffering sad trench coat man.

Berry and Hall nearly choke trying not to laugh

Bruce: Danny...

Danny: a man who can avoid and find loop holes in deals is a man worth learning from

Constantine: I never agreed to this

Danny transforming into phantom

Phantom: you don't have to like me but I can start with making the house of mystery like me more than you and bit by bit fight the people who you sold your soul to and slowly but surely getting back your whole soul thus making me the owner of it. Halfas have will

Constantine: bet

A week later

Constantine: BATS YOUR KID OWNS MY SOUL NOW AND TURNED THE HOUSE OF MYSTERY AGAINST ME!

Bruce: ah so that's where he was. Very well when is my son's first training session

Constantine: Bats I swear-

Bruce: he did warn you

[ellerial]

So, New Jersey is the only state in the US where it is literally illegal to pump your own gas. So, where are all the Gotham villains and vigilantes going to fill up their various themed vehicles? Sure, they could just not follow the law, tho irl gas station attendants are vicious enough, let alone Gotham gas station attendants. Which then makes me wanna see Danny out here running a gas station/convenience store either on his own or with the phamily. The station is at a perfect crossroads between 5 different territories and belongs to none of them. Any street kid can come get food for free at any time, and anyone who tries to rob the place either ends up with a new job or practically catatonic mumbling about how the shadows have eyes. Its gas station coffee is better than most cafés and there are bludgeoning weapons near the gas station hot dogs "just in case". No one is allowed to fight, plot, or arrest on property. The last group that tried were quickly subdued and, for the next month, kept misplacing their left shoes. And those who are just chill can get into the owners good graces who likes to chat about cars and bikes and stars and will go on long tangents to help you out regardless on if it's a new case or new villain idea. He even helped Nigma set up a non-lethal escape room and is working with Crane on creating a scare room specifically built for people to come get frightened out of their minds while also working thru their issues. Just Danny having fun running his store and seeing cool thematic vehicles while talking to people about their obsessions and maintaining peace within his small haunt.

[solarpixels48]

Ok.... now I actually really want to write this. Would one be allowed to take inspiration and/or use this as a prompt for ones own writing. It's too perfect and has now joined my brain archives to bubble and create further stories.

[ellerial]

Please do. Please? Write this. I wanna read it so bad.

[kat-with-cats]

I am doing the thing. I’ve got two chapters so far and I’m writing it mainly with like Eldritch horror mystery style. I know I’ve got 9 chapters planned and I think I may make a pattern of every 10 chapters having a scene outside the gas station where the people that have visited discuss it and then doing another 9 chapters with more of the main premise.

If you wanna check it out: https://archiveofourown.org/works/68632051/chapters/177711806 Neutral Ground - Chapter 1 - Kat_With_Cats

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[kat-with-cats]

I did another things.

Was it the things I was already doing that are unfinished ? No.

Was it something short and quick that I’d be able to get out of my system and refocus on afterwards? Nah. Bruh I wrote a 30 chapter outline without the added smut and went back to add smut to my outline. 🤦‍♀️

Do I enjoy it anyways? Yes.

Have I used all my brain thinking about it since Sunday? For sure. I’ve already written 5 chapters and bits and pieces of other chapters too.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/67975846/chapters/175801981

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[mysharona1987]

[ellerial]

Danny: *de-aged, sipping on a juice box*

Red Hood: *unconscious in an alley*

Danny:

Red Hood:

Danny: *Sips* On the one hand, Auntie Jazz said not to go near weirdos in costumes.

Red Hood:

Danny: Or to pick things up from the alleys.

Red Hood:

Danny: *Sips* But Auntie Jazz also said not to eat things off the floor, even though we all know the floor has the best stuff, so....

Red Hood:

Danny:

Red Hood:

Danny: Finders Keepers!

*Danny drags Red Hood home to his aunties and uncles dismay*

[nelkcats]

Quacked up

Danny never thought that Desiree was serious on her threats, or at least the threats that had to do with "turning him into a duck and abandoning him in another dimension."

But it seems that even ghost genies had their limits, because the third time he "ruined her plans," she made good on her threat. Danny wasn't worried about Amity, Team Phantom could take care of that just fine.

He was more concerned about his webbed feet and duckbill. Plus the fact that he showed up in the middle of a warehouse occupied by mobsters, although the supposed mobsters were more involved in trying to catch him (were his ears wrong or had he heard an "aww"?) than killing him. One of them even named him "Duck Hood."

Jason didn't know how to feel watching all his employees chase a duck. It was a weird duck, with glowing green eyes (was it possible for a duck to dive into the pits??), and he was sure he saw it float by at some point, but at least his "lair" was a little more lively.

He wondered if he should give it to Damian or keep it.

[noodly-menace]

They try to win Duck Hood over with a glass of water with ice cubes and strawberries

"That won't work"

"It will. I saw it on a TikTok, ducks love this shit"

[reggie-trying-thier-best]

Danny tried to have some dignity and not go for it but he was hungry and those strawberries were fresh from a windowsill garden box.

He did bite the hand of the first person that grabbed him tho

[currentlydrowninginthephandom]

He ends up getting an entire room and a kiddie pool too. Damien caught wind of another “bat pet” and has since made the room even better. Does Danny still escape and cause chaos? Yes. He decides to reenact a popular game he saw once back home. He can now be seen dragging a knife or stealing keys fairly often.

[lirabuswavi]

Damian: He is highly intelligent and with time his knife skills can improve.

Jason: You already have Batcow, leave Duck Hood alone. He's MY animal sidekick.

[evilminji]

Damian: But are you training him? You neglect your duties! He has little enrichment and an unbalanced diet!

Jason: Hey! Batburger is a staple! And he shanked Scarecrow just last week. Granted, Crane was in his cell... and unarmed... but it's still progress!

Bruce, here to drage bag Damian and prevent a SECOND Fowl Meance from invading his home: You... You let the bird into Arkham?

Jason: "Let" is a strong word.

[bianca-hooks123]

This is the specific type of duck that Danny has been turned into. It’s called the Redhead Duck (shocker).

And here are all my favorite tags from everyone else’s posts. I would give anything to see someone draw Duck Danny in a little costume lovingly hand sewn by a goon. 🦆

[eternal-watcher]

Possible scenario for how he turns back.

Desire never meant to leave Phantom as a duck permanently. She was just annoyed with him and wanted to to teach him a lesson. She periodically checked in on him just to make sure that this ‘lesson’ (read: prank) never went to far. Danny was never really in danger, her spell was structured in a way that it would come undone if he was ever truly threatened. Still there were non threatening ways to go to far so she kept watch on him. Honestly she had meant to turn him back after a few days, but it looked like he was having so much fun. Phantom was always so stressed, it was nice to see the kid relaxed. (Maybe they were wrong about the kid having a ‘hero’ obsession. A ghost indulging their obsession shouldn’t be so stressed.) It was on one of these check-ins when she witnessed this, and well honestly she couldn’t resist.

The scene was a massacre, the Joker’s henchmen were sprawled across the warehouse and in the center there stood Joker glaring at the source of the chaos. Duck Hood looked as smug as a duck could look.

Jason, a few hood game members, and various bats had just arrived to stop the Joker’s scheme only to find this scene.

The Joker look about at the end of his rope and he shouts. “I am sick of this blasted Duck! I wish it was gone!”

“As you have wished it, so it shall be” there is a puff of smoke and now there is a potential Wayne adoption candidate cracking his knuckles.

“Hey clownface ready for round two?” Danny says with a smirk “I’ve had a ‘fowl’ couple couple of weeks and need to let off some rightfully placed aggression”

Red hood glares at Batman, “Don’t even think about it”

(At some point before this scene I want. Danny to swim in a Lazarus pit like a duck on a pond)

Also after he is turned back to normal he will occasionally make duck references or jokes. Such as reenacting James’s Veitch’s rubber ducky prank or giving friends/family red duck candles.

[hdgnj]

Jason and his gang will be so sad. No more duck hood. But also, holy shot. It was an angry teen stuck in duck shape. That makes so much more sense.

Also, imagine the gang fight where duck hood is first seen. Red Hood jumps in, bullets flying. And suddenly from above you hear "Quack!" And are hit with projectiles. Duck Hood carried paint bombs to drop in the enemies and cause confusion. And by the Ancients did it work.

[welcometosasakiworld]

It has the unfortunate, or fortunate, side effect of giving Danny shape-shifting abilities to change into a duck

[hdgnj]

Danny keeps using it to break into Arkham. Only does so in duck form. He enjoys tormenting Joker and Scarecrow.

[illya-roma]

I would like for Danny to not even talk when he's turned back and to just go angry "qauck" while beating the crap out of joker.

He only acknowledges that he's no longer a duck by noticing that he could grab stuff and suplex joker a few time.

But then commits to the bit and continues to act like a duck and slowly begins to act human as the goons keep teaching him how to be.

I need to have all of Gotham think the duck turned into a Bruce wayne adoptee

[hran-art]

[puppetmaster13u]

Okay, but, hear me out @illya-roma : Combine this with Danny being Jason's equivalent from his dimension, making any DNA tests (hey, they don't know what sort of medical issues a duck-turned-teen might have!) show them being related.

So now the bats are under the impression that the fucking wish that the joker of all people made, made Duck hood Jason's child.

[illya-roma]

@puppetmaster13u

Jason introduces his son to Alfred for a gun training/bonding session after cooking sessions

[megasweetbones]

Bold to assume that the Arkham guards won't just let the duck in after Danny teaches Crane to fear the Fowl. They got a betting pool on who the duck is going to psychologically torture next. They also do research and try to feed him. He eats fruits and veggies just fine, if they're mostly fresh. Trying to get the duck to eat meat isn't great until someone jokingly offers a piece of cheap steak that had went cold in the lounge. The guards give him small amounts of cooked meat. Though, a guard did get smacked when he gave the duck, duck meat. Danny kinda stopped computing when he realized what he had in his bill was going to get him labeled a cannibal. So he just let it fall out and waddled off, clearly traumatized.

Danny's a very well fed duck.

Duck is also never served again in the manor. Having a great/grandson or nephew that's a duck is kinda weird when you go out to eat.

No one outside of the Wayne's and Joker know that Duck Hood can turn into a human boy.

I also want Danny to watch Jason practice with the All Blades and decide, "Huh, that's cool. I'm going to do that." And just does something similar.

Some unholy demon is the big bad. Maybe Trigon? Perfect moment to be a boy with giant wings and a halo of flaming swords. The black haired boy isn't strong enough like this, so halos of white light consume his body and reveal a version in a reversed color palette. He reignites his flame swords, this time looking like white through a prism with green inner flames. His own hair ignites similarly with the blades. Lazarus Water eyes dead set on the enemy.

When all is said and done, Jason goes to try to calm his son, who looks like an infuriated angel. The second Danny sees Jason, he calms down and turns into a duck to sit in Jason's outstretched hands.

Jason is proudly parading his duck son.

(Diana and the magic users are wondering if this is a Zeus the swan incident type of thing.

"Who's the mother Jason?"

"Me. I'm so proud of my boy."

"Ah. 🥲"

Constantine is questioning why he gets so much shit for his man whore tendencies when the Red Hood literally got in on with duck. Or a god that looked like a duck.)

[justreadalot]

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 2

*Damian and Jason, four hours into a stakeout*

Damian: Jay, hand me the mango pieces.

Jason: *plastic crinkling* ayyy, I’m Jason again!

Damian: *snorts*

Jason: what was with that, by the way? I just showed up in Gotham and found you referring to everyone like they’re your professor. Like, that’s not a ‘you’ thing, I don’t know why you started doing that.

*audible chewing noises*

Damian: do you want the genuine honest answer?

Jason: please god do tell

Damian: so- and you aren’t allowed to laugh. but when I first came to Gotham and I showed up at the manor, father obviously had to give me a tour of the place, right?

Jason: yeah.

Damian: and they wanted to do a DNA test to check that my mother wasn’t pulling a fast one by claiming my birthright, so the first place he showed me was the cave, which was also where Tim was.

Jason: *hums*

Damian: and you know that place- the first time you went to the cave, it was wild, right?

Jason: oh, like walking into the tardis for the first time. insane.

Damian: exactly. all high-tech and shit, and I’d just come from the desert compound I’d spent my entire life in- like, my first time going into the kitchen at the manor I saw Alfred loading the dishwasher and my first thought was ‘oh my god what the fuck kind of machine is that-‘

Jason: *abrupt cackle*

Damian: -so the fucking cave for the first time? as a little desert-boy ten year old? I was a little distracted,

Jason, chuckling slightly: ok, fair,

Damian: and so I’m zoned the fuck out, looking around this cave and not paying attention to anything father’s saying, and then I finally tune back in just to hear the words ‘-ackson drake’ while he like, tries to introduce me to Tim.

Jason: *slowly starts laughing again*

Damian, raising his voice to be heard over Jason’s increasing beats of laughter: -and so I’m fucking standing there, ten years old, no clue what this kid’s first name is, and everybody’s looking at me like I’m supposed to be the one fucking talking right now, and ALL I can think of is my mother, who before she shipped me off to Gotham completely alone kept fucking telling me ‘Damian you have to be strong and show that you deserve to be the Batman’s blood son. show no weakness and take the mantle you were born to have; show no fucking hesitance.’, so I’M panicking,

Jason, still cackling: *a clap* NO I DO- I DO REMEMBER, LIKE, BACK IN THE LEAGUE-, holy shit back in the league when your only coping mechanism for not knowing the fuck was going on around you, was literally just to pretend you knew what the fuck was going on around you and bullshit till you make it,

Damian: WELL IT WAS LIKE THE ONLY FUCKING THING MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME-

Jason, through tears: -that’s why I didn’t say shit when I came back to Gotham and found you fucking, doing all this blood son bullshit! You started calling me Todd and speaking in old english and I was just like ‘bless him he’s terrified, just leave him be’

Damian: *cackles* and I did- I did appreciate you going along with it, because back when this happened I panicked and just started calling Tim ‘Drake’ because I was too embarrassed to ask him for his first name, and then by the time I heard somebody else call him Tim in passing, everybody had just assumed this was a thing I did. and I was too socially awkward to clear it up and switch back, so I just had to stick to Drake.

Jason: *wheeze* a-and Grayson?

Damian: well at first I just went along with the surname thing out of awkwardness, but then I’d gone too deep and I had no way out- AND THEN- and then Batman fucking died-

Jason: *wheeze*

Damian: -and I went from being parented by the gymnastics version of the dark lord to being gentle-parented by fucking Nightwing-

Jason, choking: holy- holy shit-

Damian: do you know what it’s like to go from *gruff voice* ‘Damian we don’t fucking kill, give me the katana or I’ll put you in Arkham’ to *high pitched, sweet voice* ‘oh hey Dames, obviously I can’t stop you from killing but I really would appreciate it if we discussed all our options and came to a mature decision together on what’s best in this scenario-‘

Jason: *crying, silent wheezes*

Damian: so DURING all this I’m trying to subtly switch back to using peoples actual names, except it fucking backfired because people just assumed I was calling Richard Richard because we had that special parental mentor bond, and Tim had pissed off to- whatever he was doing in the desert for six months- getting a hysterectomy or whatever the fuck happened-

Jason, amused: hysterectomy- he lost a spleen, Dames

Damian: well whatever happened he wasn’t AROUND for me to shift to calling him Tim! and when father was back I’d made no progress and was back to square one, except this time I was stuck calling one brother Richard and the other Drake!

Jason, still laughing: and this is where I came in?

Damian: I felt BAD! I’d already taken Robin from the guy, I didn’t want him to feel like he was lesser of a brother to me than Richard. So I demoted you to Todd so he wouldn’t feel alone.

Jason: very thoughtful.

Jason: we should probably get you a therapist, dude. I think everybody forgets that when you showed up you were literally just a very confused immigrant child with no experience of normal social interaction apart from me at the league.

Damian: oh I was like, 60% into an anxiety attack consistently for the first two years I was in the city.

Jason: *snorts*

Damian: the first time I was left alone with Tim we were in the kitchen and he said ‘do you want wifi?’ and, y’no, coming from the league, barely any tech and the only normality was the concept of fighting to the death over everything, MY instinctual ten-year-old thought was ‘oh shit, wifi must be slang for brawl here, we’re about to fight’-

Jason: *laughter* you’re fucking kidding

Damian: -so I’m like, so be it, and I say ‘come on then’ and get ready to start punching, only for him to turn around and grab a piece of card stuck to the fridge and hold it out to me,

Jason: *cackles*

Damian: and he goes ‘here’s the password so you can connect, I’m assuming you have a phone or something’-which I fucking didn’t by the way, my mother gave me a shitty flip-phone to call her in emergencies but it didn’t use wifi-, and he’s holding it out to me and I had to like, subtly shift my posture out of the defensive position I’d been in-,

Jason, delirious from laughter: this is the fucking best. thing.

Damian: -and I take it from him, and he gives me this weird look like he has no idea how to communicate with me, and I was just like ‘shit I might have to kill this one, it’s the only way to get out of this interaction’.

Jason: *wheeze* if we go through the timeline, every murder attempt on Tim’s life has just been an occasion where you’ve felt socially awkward and didn’t see any other way out of conversation,

Damian: pretty much, yeah. I should have been on xanax for those first few years.

Jason: stories from your first years in Gotham are my favourite thing in the world.

*a few silent beats*

Tim: are you telling me I’ve been stuck as Drake for YEARS all because Damian’s fucking scared of social interaction?!

*crashing sound*

Jason: HOLY FUCK-

Damian: OH MY GOD I FORGOT WE WERE CONNECTED TO THE MAIN LINE-

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

This is actually the best thing ever.

[papayafromtv]

actually can we have Tim not being adopted into the batfamily and instead after his parents go broke and then die leaving him with nothing he just decides ‘well i know where the batcave is’ and starts living in the tunnels underneath Wayne manor because of the logic that he can’t get kicked out bcs 1. squatters rights and 2. whats Bruce gonna do? call the police and say ‘this guy won’t leave my secret lair. no im not Batman wdym’? and he manages to go unnoticed for like. a good fucking while. not even Alfred realises bcs wtf would he be snooping around down there for?

even better is this happens after Jason dies so Tim still becomes Robin and Bruce is so overwhelmed with grief that he literally never realises that Tim has never once used the front door to come over. he just kinda sneaks up from somewhere in the cave. he assumes that Alfred’s letting the kid in without telling him. Alfred assumes Bruce is doing the same.

Damian finds out first because that’s so much funnier. he gets to Gotham to 1. gain his birthright and meet his father and 2. do some reconnaissance/avenging of this replacement Robin that’s been the centre of Jason’s angry rants at the league for the past 6 months. he follows Tim ‘home’ and finds him fucking. golluming it up a 15 minute hike through the cave system and he’s like. wait what.

Damian, reporting back to Jason: Drake is a mole.

Jason, vindicated: like he’s working for the enemy?!

Damian, standing in front of an indignant Tim in the middle of his ‘camp’, phone pressed to his ear: no like he lives in a fucking tunnel.

Jason:

Tim, mumbling: slightly harsh,

Damian, angling his face away from the phone momentarily: i watched you dig a hole to unearth the protein bars you’d buried there.

Tim:

Jason, rapidly changing his opinion on this kid: ok actually lets not kill him because thats fucking hysterical and i want to know more-

Tim really likes living alone in the tunnels because he’s a weird little guy and he’s gotten used to the independence and lack of sun, and Damian grew up in the league where ‘wilderness training’ was monthly, mandatory, and from the age of three. so he really doesn’t see the issue in it. he just kinda shrugs and accepts his brother lives in the cave system. Jason is so delighted and amused by the vibes these two kids have going on over in Gotham (he gets video calls from Damian just. in Tim’s camp while they hang out together sometimes. Damian brings him water bottles and various sustenance offerings like he’s appealing so some ancient deity living under their house. Jason thinks it’s incredible) that he decides fuck the league, he needs to see this in person. killing the Joker is a side quest he did on the way; he really only came to see what his idiot little brothers had going on under Bruce, Dick and Alfreds nose. he visits Tim’s little cave home while waiting for his new Crime Alley apartment to be ready.

eventually Bruce and Dick are working on a case and they’re following a lead to do with a criminal escaping via cave systems that they theorise may connect to the batcave, so after Damian’s gone to bed they suit up and start searching around. they come across Damian, Tim, and the fucking Red Hood chilling around a small fire just casually eating leftovers Damian snuck down from the kitchen, just quietly enjoying each others presence in this clearly years old campsite, quietly discussing whether or not the weather will be clear enough next week to go to the new art museum together. Dick shines a flashlight at them and they all snap to attention like that scene in ratatouille where the human comes in the kitchen and the rats all freeze and look up. nobody says anything for a solid three minutes.

eventually Tim is just like “I have squatters rights. you can’t evict me.” and Red Hood nods and points at him.

Bruce, desperate to gain some kind of thread of understanding here: “Damian, you’re supposed to be in bed. …Tim, I’m actually not sure where you’re supposed to be, come to think of it, but I don’t think it’s here.”

“He just said he has squatters rights, father.” Damian responds instantly. “Keep up.”

Dick: “And does the Red Hood have squatters rights?”

“I have a gun,” Jason points out cheerfully. “Same thing, ain’t it?”

Dick and Bruce are so confused they become convinced that they’ve been dosed with something and only figure out whats going on after putting on gas masks and testing everybody’s blood.

[jasontoddisasorceror]

They still don't know who Red Hood is though

[sunday-offical]

An AU my brain likes:

Ghost King Danny who’s also an EMT in Gotham physically shoving people’s souls back into their bodies or helping them to pass more easily if they’re too far gone.

EMT Danny accidentally becoming an internet phenomenon when ambulances get called on some Gotham U students who definitely have alcohol poisoning and random partygoers post “omg this EMT is so hotttt????” all over tik tok.

Internet phenomenon Danny being invited to some gala or fundraiser as a result of basically dethroning Bruce Wayne as “the people’s prince.”

The people’s prince Danny being approached by Bruce Wayne who is trying to make nice (not wanting to be perceived as jealous or standoffish despite having been usurped) and finds him to be very charming. Danny mentions offhandedly that he’s estranged from his parents and totally alone and every instinct in Bruce’s body starts screaming adopt adopt adopt!

Cue ghost attack?

[gettingcomfyinyourwalls]

DP x DC prompt #234

Danny's been good with keeping the things he's been dealing with, as Phantom, contained in Amity Park. But after letting something slip, he now has the main Justice League members at his, metaphorical, front doorstep. Being stared down by Batman would make anyone nervous, even Superman. But Danny has faced Gods, the very forces of the universe, Pariah Dark, and his own darkness, Dan, and won. So, to the shock and horror of the rest of the League, when Batman stares Danny down, Danny returns the glare with full force.

[belladonna-official]

The Better Father

I need an AU where Danny has Adopted Conner as his current youngest son and sidekick. (He’s going to adopt more children). Everyone in Young Justice has already met Danny and absolutely agree that he is the better father. Their mentors don’t know about this whole thing, the only person who is aware is Black Canary but she doesn’t say anything about it. When Danny isn’t there to help them train (Because he’s doing King things) , Ellie and Dan are there to crash on their couch (Like the older siblings they are).

This all comes to a head when there is skill evaluation meeting (Like a Parent-Teacher Meeting), when the Young Justice mentors come meet with Black Canary to discuss their sidekicks skill development. Danny is Conner’s new father and mentor so of course he going to be there but remember the other League members don’t know about him. 

When he arrives the League members are absolutely confused as hell Because 1) He’s sitting next to Conner in the waiting room and 2) he doesn’t look like any League member they know. He’s also not dressed like a normal hero. Danny came dressed to the extreme, dressed like a rich nobleman from fantasy novels. An expensive black suit with black gloves, a fur coat over his shoulders, his long black hair in the mom anime hairstyle, his blue eyes behind glasses and not wearing the Ring of Rage or Crown. He wasn’t about to embarrass his son in front of his friends mentors. (Not realising that is already happening).

Batman opened his mouth to say something about this unknown person in a top secret location. But some quick hand movement from Robin shut that down. Everyone sat down next to their sidekicks, side eyeing the unknown man who was chatting it up with the Young Justice team talking about his time as a teenage hero. (They were actually giving him their full attention!)

The silence was tense for the mentors, not really for the sidekicks, until Superman showed up. He had been delayed by an attack in his city. He didn’t look particularly comfortable to be there. Everything became really tense when he finally noticed Danny sitting in his seat next to Conner. 

Everything became quiet, until Danny looked up. 

“May I help you?”

The question was cold sounding in the otherwise warm room. Conner looked between Danny and Clark before he looked away with a huff. (Father…..Yes, you are embarrassing me)

“Who are you?! And why are you sitting next to Super boy?”

“I’m here for the skill evaluation of course. And I am right where I am supposed to be. Is there a problem?”

The tense was becoming uncomfortable. It was only broken when Black Canary’s officer door opened. She looked up at the scene. She glanced at Superman and the rest of the League members (Yikes), looking uncomfortable, before she turned to the unknown man. 

“Phantom, Superboy, it’s your turn”

Phantom stood up and Superboy quickly followed.

They only found out who Phantom was later, when Constantine gave them a frog blink and asked Superman why he had invoked the anger of a god.

[chardama]

Jackson Drake? Yeah, he ain't human. Bruce is sure the man is a meta. Maybe a poor alien in disguise because Bruce knows he's a disaster sometimes but Jack takes the cake. 

The Drakes were their neighbors. Archeologists. Famous for bringing rare artifacts home and are the largest donors to the Gotham Museum. 

Then the accident happened.  

Jackson Drake had a serious fall while getting their latest artifact. A certain ring and crown that belong to an ancient king. He was rushed to the on-site medics and had to be air lifted to the nearest hospital. He had been in a coma for two weeks. A nasty bruise to the head and when he had woken up it was as if he was a different man. The media was all over it. It got worse when the change in attitude resulted in the divorce. 

Timothy Drake ends in the custody of Jack Drake.  Timothy knows that the man that woke up from the coma is not his father. But the new jack treats him so much better than old jack. The new jack actually listens to Tim. Actually helps him out with homework. Doesn't yell. Doesn't hit Tim. He lets time babble about everything. He even FEEDS Tim. He NEVER leaves him home alone. 

Tim knows that the new ring on his father's hand (that he had never taken off since that expedition) is the cause of it. Or maybe it's the floating crown that sometimes appears when new Jack shows him a ‘trick.’ he likes New Jack. He doesn't want New Jack to go away. 

Which is why he has to keep Bruce Wayne- (THE batman) away from his new father. The detective would suss new jack out immediately.  Because new jack treats Timothy well but he sucks at being human. 

It would help… if New Jack would stop calling the Waynes for every minor inconvenience that happened to Timothy that a regular person should know. 

Ex. 

Jack: tim is sick. 

Bruce, handing the phone to Alfred. : any symptoms-

Jack: he's green, but thats normal because im green sometimes.  But he's not doing all the things I do when im green-

Alfred: such as…?

Jack: well he hasn't learned to walk through walls yet. And he hasn't gotten ice breath though he is a bit cold. His hair isn't white yet.

Bruce, overhearing this: what-

Alfred: nausea perhaps? Has he eaten anything to make his stomach turn?

Jack: we did have some seafood from that new place by Mr.Freeze

Bruce, louder: W H A T

Alfred, writing down a list of supplies and recipes: we'll be there in a moment.