What does it mean - to live in Russia
Hello, I am 20 y/o, from Russia. I study at Russian State University for Humanities (cultural studies). So what does it mean to live in Russia?)
i believe y'all know about new law: the ban of homosexual propaganda. I fell ashamed. That's the only one thing I really feel. I am not surprised, I am not scared or mad. I am simply ashamed. Because I am Russian by birth. I was born in Moscow, I am smart, bright and good girl but I can't live my life here.
I am very proud of Europe, New Zealand, USA and others... I am proud of all those people who accept same-sex marriage and gay rights. I am happy for those who can be themselves. Because I can't.
My friends are ok about the fact i am gay. But my homeland at the head with Putin and Russian Orthodox Church consider me as outlaw, second grade person. I am no one. Actually I've never been patriot but I always knew that I like being legendary russian soul: faithful, dramatic. deep mind and clever and so on.
But now I feel betrayed, ashamed. More likely raped and declared outlaw. I live in barbarian country with narrow-minded mediaeval laws, decaying society. I am ashamed.
My mother told me that she will not accept me (my mum knows), my grandma calls me every single day, bawling "cursed lesbian, bitch". And I never told her that I am gay. My university is the place where I don't need to study to get diploma, i even don't need to be interesed in my education. That's russian education and general summary of the situation. No one neeeds nothing.
Russia want us to follw the system. But I know that system exists above governments, so Russia follows its own system as dying state. And the agony will not last long.
