Medea’s Bottom Bitch

[weathertheraine]

Suzuki im afraid your boyfriend is boring <3

[cataclysmcrows]

oogh. augh

[iheartmolly]

[katiesmithbug]

My internal monologue when they do final call at the pub

[dubiousculturalartifact]

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

[avian-connoisseur]

Look i know nothing of the Muppets or the Odyssey. But this post moved me

[luciswan]

[wontuna]

It's just not clocking to you that I'm standing on wokeness

[doglike]

When i worked for the forest service my coworker jordans ex girlfriend would mail him ziploc bags of half smoked hand rolled cigarettes because she only liked the taste of the first half and we would smoke her lipstick stained rollies on the shore of some crystal clear glacial lake and our coworkers called us big red and lil red and one time we had to shoot our injured horse in the head and blow up the body with dynamite and this fine pink mist floated so soft and slow in the beams of sunlight coming through the hemlocks and later that night we got a jug of wine and laid in the grass under a sky with more stars than id ever seen before or since and jordan told me about how he spent 25k on alcohol the year before and how he watched a guy blow his head off playing russian roulette and how he used to chase antelopes in wyoming as a kid and never caught one and of course he didnt but he said that explains his whole life. But jordan didnt call me lil red he called me virginia and ive never loved a nickname more and i think about him everytime i smoke a hand rolled cigarette and everytime i see a horse with a bald face and everytime i take a big fat line and remember im also just a dumb kid thats never gonna catch the antelopes

[chelathy]

Random Bits and bobs: kill those guys Inanna!!!!!

[chestnuthorse]

[impossiblyonyxwill]

THAT’S WHAT LEGENDARY GREEK HEROES DO!!!!

ORESTES, Son of AGAMEMNON:

Menelaus (My Uncle) fought the Trojan war for ten years to get Helen (My Aunt) and eventually after a long struggle got her to Sparta where they lived happily ever after. That’s what “LEGENDARY” warriors/heroes do

EURYSACES, Son of AJAX THE GREATER:

Diomedes, talk about Diomedes.Harm two gods best warrior right next to Achilles and Ajax the greater, my father there we go.

ORESTES: son of AGAMEMNON:

Diomedes. LEGENDARY harmed two GODS and stole the Palladium Along with Odysseus

ORESTES, son of AGAMEMNON:

Ajax The Lesser assaulted Cassandra in the temple of Athena and got himself killed and made the lives of The Greeks returning home harder. He didn’t score Bro(Eurysaces: yep that’s right hmm yep that’s right.) and made the lives of those who survived the Trojan war worse stop calling him “LEGENDARY” because he has the same name with

ORESTES, Son of AGAMEMNON:

Ajax The Greater. The guy who defended the Greek ships from destruction from the Trojans using his Tower-Lile shied blocking his whole body.

Teucer his half-brother, one of the greatest Archers in the Trojan War ever (at least on the Greek side at least.) stop calling him that.

Because when he tried to complete the foot race his ass slip on mud on all things even tho it wasn’t even raining so could there be mud

when he saved by the rock after his fleet sank instead of being grateful that he was alive and well what did he do he fought that he was superior because his man died and he didn’t. Bum behavior fraud behavior.(Eurysaces, Son of Ajax The Greater: yep hmm right yep hmm right indeed.)

ORESTES, Son of AGAMEMNON:

LEGENDARY:

Ajax the greater, Teucer, Diomedes, even fucking Agamemnon (my father), Antilochus as a rookie 45 kills ,Palamedes invented dice ,Achilles basically almost immortal, Meriones LEGENDARY these are all legendary-

TELEMACHUS, son of ODYSSEUS:

“So what does that mean even Neoptolemus is legen-“

ORESTES, son of AGAMEMNON.

Yes even fucking Neoptolemus is even more than fricking legendary than Ajax The lesser that’s who we are talking about right now stop talking about like he’s the GOAT he is not the goat he think he the shit which funny because he garbage in competitions he Garbage.!!!!

as you can clearly Tell I did this as one giant massive shitpost about the Trojan War and it’s heroes (Or on the Acheans side at least). Hopefully I made you laugh because honestly idk what to post anymore on my tumblr I kinda ran out of things to post about so this can basically combat the “less content” issue hopefully soon I would I think of more ideas over time but for now have fun reading my other post and stuff.

[nappyheadeddummy]

This is an all timer right here. One of my favorite tweets

[8d2t]

apprentice uniform for brushbuddy too so they dont feel left out

[dntwannabeurgirl]

😭 via threads

[mephostophilis]

are non brits aware of count binface.

[mephostophilis]

to give some entirely bizarre context, nigel farage (extreme cunt) has stepped down from his position as MP for clacton (due to a scandal where he received £5 million from a crypto billionaire that could have been laundered) only to run again so that he can prove people like him. and the only person running against him is count binface. who has been a staple of british politics for many years. and now the british press is forced to interview him seriously while he sits there with his binface.

[sixteensecrets]

Haaland staying out to listen to “Hey Jude”, oh they make me SICK

[animentality]

for context, they started doing "hydration breaks" at the FIFA world cup this year and everyone's been complaining that it breaks up the flow of the game...and booing at stadiums.

[atopcat]

Haaland saw this

And realised he needs to mark his territory