one of my favorite arthurian moments of all time is when gawain accidentally murders a lady and camelot just hands this problem over to guinevere who’s like ok you have to promise to be a feminist now for the rest of your life. and gawain says okay <3 and everything is fine afterwards
To write the perfect canon relationship between Egg and Daeron one has to find the balance between "Egg loves this hedge knight he met three days ago more than all his biological brothers" and "Egg named his third son Daeron, and isn't that something?"
I like when people mention “The Rains of Castamere” in their hotd fanfics cause I like to think the very alive Reynes of Castamere are sat in the corner of the feast going
Feel like we (myself included) need to have more insane fun with Aerion as a “dabbler in the black arts” because truly what the hell does that entail for him
Forget if I posted this here or not…but behold my silly summary of That One Part of the Wedding of Dame Ragnell:
Gawain: Hey, how’s your part of the quest going?
Arthur, crying, wailing, rolling on the floor: Ahhhhhghghggg, Gawaaaain, you’ll never believe it, I met the UGLIEST lady and aasdahhhhh, I would rather be DEAD
Gawain, very alarmed: Sir??? Maybe do not? Do that???
Arthur: Gawain, you don’t understand, she said she could save my life but that she wanted a husband out of it and I Really Can Not Overstate just how unbearably UGLY™ she is
Gawain, very relieved: Oh, that’s all we have to do to get an answer to save your life? Okay chill, I’ll do it then
Arthur: that’s actually kind of funny because she Specifically requested you if her advice helped me
Gawain: Alright, well don’t worry about this anymore! Seriously, I’ll take care of it. I’d literally throw myself into a volcano for you
Arthur, tears in his eyes: Gawain, you’re my favorite nephew and the bestest knight ever and I love you forever and ever.
Kay is starting to notice a bad habit his brother is developing.
It was surprising how much being the Seneschal of Camelot, the shining city sung into existence, the final defense against the Saxons, and the glory of Britain just felt like babysitting and herding cats.
While normally, the problems were just little fires like what to do with a well intended gift of mistletoe from the druids in Ériu that was now decorating the high ceilings and the tables of the great hall, but sometimes the problems took another form.
Such as Arthur developing the annoying habit of not eating during feasts for absolutely no reason.
Usually, when Arthur didn't eat, it was a sign that he was stressed. He would get so focused on some problem that he was trying to solve that he would take advantage of his frankly unfair constitution so that he didn't have to distract himself with mundane things like eating and sleeping.
But that hadn't been the case for a while, and Kay was starting to notice a pattern.
Arthur wasn't eating on holidays.
While normal meals and the feasts where they kept the kings that had stayed loyal (or been forced into it) happy were fine, holidays seemed to be times he'd sit poke at his food and wait for...something.
It wasn’t his usual insistence that he wait until everyone else had been served. This was something else, and the strange thing was that Arthur seemed just as annoyed about it as everyone else was.
Kay hadn't really noticed it on Christmas, though that had been due to the issue involving a woman demanding someone come and reclaim her father's land for her and a frankly unnerving incident involving a faery with a horse skill for a head. At least that had ended with the creature happily wishing them good fortune for the year since Trystan had played her strange rhyme battle game.
Kay had also learned not to worry too much about faery logic. At least the giants made sense.
New Years shouldn't have been as memorable. Kay was more interested in putting together the protections and preparations for the Twelfth Night feast, and New Years, while of course a good time to come to celebrate, was so lumped in with the other twelve days that it sort of blended in his mind. There was no reason at all for Arthur to just be sitting there toying with his meat while everyone had to sit there, politely, until the High King decided he was hungry.
The hall was crowded, the massive tables filled with guests who had come quite a ways to see the king, and now they were sitting, watching the steaming platters filled with meats and pies slowly cool, and waiting for the king to finally signal the start of the feast.
They had more patience than he did.
"Is there a reason you're making everyone wait?" Kay asked, trying to remind himself that Arthur was his king, and not his little brother, at least in public.
"I’d like to eat after whatever thing is about to happen is over " Arthur said, watching the massive wooden doors that lead to the courtyard with a tired expression.
He'd been hanging around Merlin too long if that was his idea of a straight answer.
“What are you talking about?” Kay leaned forward, and that seemed to shake Arthur out of his thoughts enough to speak plainly.
"Something always happens on holidays," Arthur said. "I just want whatever it is to happen so we can send whoever needs to go on their way, and everyone else can finally eat."
The queen, who had been deep in conversation with Lancelot, glanced up, a frown on her face.
"Ah, like at Christmas?” she said. "It was only Gaheris who needed to go for that at least. Not an entire party like All Souls. The interruption wasn’t…that bad."
"Can you remember what we ate?" Arthur asked.
"Not really."
"Exactly," Arthur said. "And that wasn't the first time. On our wedding we had the issue with the woman and the dogs and the deer. After that it was that woman from Avalon wearing the sword she claimed only the most virtuous could draw on the Assumption-"
Kay snorted. Sir Balin had been many things, but virtuous wasn't one of them.
"After that, it was the giant who collected heads challenging me to a duel to the death on the Annunciation, and after that..."
Arthur was starting to get that slightly stilted, resigned voice that he sometimes had when he'd been reciting lessons when he was a child.
If only he didn’t have a point.
There were an obnoxious amount of dinner interruptions, and they did happen around major events and feasts. Still, that wasn't going to go over well with the visiting kings. Things were always a step away from violence. If they thought this was some sort of personal affront...
Kay refused to think of another six year war starting because his little brother wanted to enjoy a meal without some supernatural problem interrupting it.
Pellinore (because of course it was Pellinore, it was always Pellinore) was starting to glare towards the podium, but before he opened his mouth to cause trouble, he was interrupted by a pounding on the doors. It was so loud that it carried to the raised podium where they were sitting easily.
Lancelot was sitting up from his place next to Guinevere immediately, glancing towards one of the walls towards the entrance where his sword was resting. At the same time, Kay could see a few more of the knights glancing towards that same wall, or fingering various enchanted items that they absolutely weren't supposed to have.
He’d have to talk to Merlin about making sure there was some sort of detection for that when the mage returned from visiting that monk in Northumbria who seemed to function as Merlin’s keeper (if that was even possible).
Arthur on the other hand looked relieved.
"Finally," he said softly.
If he was going to order the doors open, he never got the words out. With a massive ‘boom’ they flew open, banging loudly against the walls, to reveal a green man on a green horse who charged between the tables towards the cleared out portion of the hall near the center.
'Green' was the only word Kay had, though it was clear that whoever or whatever the man was, he clearly wished to be seen as a knight.. He was clad in armor that made of some sort of green metal that glinted strangely in the firelight, reflecting and refracting like sun on the leaves of some ancient tree.. His cloak was a deep emerald color and what fabric Kay could see underneath it and the armor was a more dull gray green. But what really made him pause was his head. The man wore no helmet, and seemed to show off proudly how his hair and beard were both the same shade of green that Kay usually only saw in a spring forest. Even his skin had a sort of viridian tint to it that defied nature. Only the whites of his eyes were the natural color, but that just made the brilliant grassy color of his eyes even more startling.
Even the massive axe strapped to his back was green. It was made of the same metal as the armor, and Kay was reasonably sure that he saw emeralds embedded into the heavy blade. Though that was mostly lost in the general glow of the thing.
The horse was no different than its master. They were so similar that Kay had had trouble telling where the one ended and the other began. The saddle, harness, and even the bells that rang on the reigns were green, of course, but it’s coat was a sort of grey green, with the mane and tail reminding him of the mistletoe that hung around him. If this was a spell to change its appearance, the horse didn’t to mind, it came to a stop at the center of the hall, prancing a little as the green knight dismounted.
The entire hall had frozen, all eyes watching as Arthur stood to face the newcomer.
"You are welcome to this feast," his brother said, as usual qualifying exactly what the obviously supernatural creature was welcome to. "You must have come far, please join us for a meal. Whatever you have come for can wait if possible."
The green knight bowed at Arthur’s greeting, but shook his head.
“While your generosity to strangers is well known, I shall not linger here long enough to eat with your mean, High King," the man said, glancing around at the men and women who were sitting, frozen and facing him. "I have come with one purpose alone, so I will ask that you pardon my rudeness to make a request now."
"So long as your request is reasonable, I will grant it," Arthur said.
Kay had to admit, whatever other strange quirks his brother had, his ability to work with the supernatural was always something he was grateful for. Whatever else they had to deal with, stupid deals that the king had made without thinking wasn’t one of them.
"My request would be considered something of a Christmas present," the man said. "It is said throughout this island that among the Britons, the knights of Camelot are the boldest and the most powerful. In my travels, I heard no one say otherwise. If that is so, then I will ask them for a special challenge. One to truly test their if that is true."
He gripped the massive axe on his back with one hand, lifting it easily and then swinging it down. It hit the ground with a massive cracking sound, and Kay could see little cracks appearing in the floor and then just as quickly disappearing as the castle mended itself.
It was going to be its equivalent of sulking for the next month. Which meant creaky floors and slightly soggy bread.
"If any in this hall are willing to prove themselves brave enough, I request that one of you strike off my head with this axe, with the foreknowledge that, come a year and a day, I will request that they permit me to do the same to them!
Of course, it had to be something that was absolutely insane. It would have been horrifying if Kay wasn’t already getting jaded.
He was more focused on the fact that Arthur was going to see this as completely rational.
While the hall grew silent and the knight taunted them for their cowardice until Gawain, seated nearby, stood to challenge him to keep his uncle and king from having to defend his own court’s honor, Kay suppressed a groan.
He supposed he'd better start planning all major feasts to either be delayed by supernatural events or delayed because the High King was waiting for a supernatural event to be over so he could eat in peace.
Maybe if they just told a story of something supernatural that had happened, it would fulfill the terms of whatever curse this was.
Everyone’s always on Sir Kay for being an asshole and bullying new knights and giving them mean nicknames, but literally who is even telling them to use them to refer to them. Like a young man will arrive to Camelot and ask to be knighted, and Sir Kay will say something like ‘From now on, I’m going to call Sir Fuckingugly PieceofShit because you’re such a fucking ugly piece of shit’ and everyone in Camelot will be like ‘Oh my god Sir Kay you can’t degrade Sir Fuckingugly PieceofShit with such horrible insults :( we’re so sorry Sir Fuckingugly PieceofShit’
Crazy how the normalized tags of one fandom can be taboo in another one. I would never dream of reading a fic tagged "incest" in, say, the Persona fandom. But if I see that tag in an ASOIAF fic I just go "Sure. Let's give it a shot. Hope its the kind of incest I like"
turnnoffyourmind
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theartofmadeline
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origamiaround
pixelskylines
snowghoul
