Fic where insecure!reader who strives for perfection keeps accepting other people's requests at the expense of her health and Sebastian is left to follow her around everywhere because he's concerned and worried half to death, lol.
Warnings: none. Just tooth-rotting fluff and a very stressed out Seb.
(this is my first ever fanfic pls be nice...I do appreciate any constructive criticism tho- and I'm also in the process of writing a few others, i alr have a crap ton of drafts so stick around if u happen to like this one! ☺️)
Sebastian noticed a gradual shift in your once-lively demeanor.
Your usual sunny disposition, which seemed to consistently lift the spirits of those around you, was now tinged with a growing exhaustion of some sort.
The usual bounce in your step was replaced by a slightly slower, lagging stride, and your typical bright smile that could instantly push away any dreariness out of a room was now feeling subtly gloomier.
The changes were miniscule at most, but Sebastian pondered internally that, had he not been watching you so closely, he would've otherwise thought nothing was amiss.
Even your conversations had become disheartening, as his recent attempts had only been met with a sense of detachment.
... He had grown to long for your usual, easy flow of banter and witty remarks.
Despite Sebastian's best efforts to keep your exchanges the same, that had only served to make it feel even more forced and one-sided as he observed you in classes, your gaze seeming to frequently be unfocused and your mind, lacking of any coherent thought.
At first, Sebastian dismissed the changes as nothing out of the ordinary, as everyone had all been preparing for the approaching N.E.W.T.'s exams.
He simply reasoned that similar signs of fatigue could be observed in his fellow sixth-years, attributing to the stress that comes with these events.
As morning brightness streamed through the Transfiguration's classroom windows, You, Poppy and Natty sat side by side, engaged in silent contemplation, having an almost unspoken agreement on not to converse as the looming threat of exams has all but drained you three completely.
Mrs. Weasley's rather authoritive voice encompassed the otherwise silent space.
Though most of her words seemed to lack any coherence as you actively fought the sleep taking over your slumped form.
You hadn't even realised when the exhaustion had won your silent battle but you're quickly awakened by Poppy's warm palm on your shoulder, fluttering your eyes open to be met with her concerned gaze
The hufflepuff noted the unusual darkness circling your undereye, peering behind you to share a troubled expression with Natty.
You quickly dismissed her and shook your head enthusiastically, ignoring how the action had all but made the room spin.
Natty's worried voice spoke up from behind you,
"Are you sure? It is not like you to fall asleep, and during class hours no less." she insisted.
"I assure you both, I'm feeling quite alright."
You piped, rather frantically and curse at the slight waver in your voice, certain that both girls had noticed it.
You straightened your shoulders from it's slouched position, as if to further prove your point.
Natty's scrutinizing gaze made it clear that the feeble attempt hadn't convinced her, however.
The minutes ticked by slowly, each of them feeling like an eternity.
The class seemed to last significantly longer than usual, further adding to your mild frustration.
However, your clouded thinking, or rather lack thereof, was eventually interrupted by the booming voice of Mrs. Weasley..
"Now, I would like all of you to repeat after me, AH-viss."
Her command was followed soon after by echoed choruses of the incantation from the class.
"Very well. Now, Kindly try it for yourself. Do remember the meticulous 'M' movement, lest you find the idea of being faced with countless squawking, flightless creatures compelling."
She grimaced as though an unsavoury memory flashed in her mind, before shortly replacing it with her usual assuring smile.
Even without paying close attention, you heard enough to know that the spell's purpose was to conjure several, flying medium sized birds.
You Steadily pulled out your wand, and point it upwards, you steel yourself... then tensed.
Pausing for a moment, you rack your brain to recall the incantation.
Just as your worries began to mount, Poppy's clear words suddenly piped from beside you, looking over you see her apprehensively whipping her wand
Despite the timid attempt at casting, her incantation rang out with such clarity that you questioned briefly if she had noticed your silent struggle.
You silently thanked her eitherway, and with a steadied hand, you took a small breath before casting,
With a swift flick of your wand, a loud boom reverberated through the air, like a shot from a gun.
As the smoke cleared, your gaze settled on the small, twittering bird now infront of you.
It's wings fluttered clumsily as it heaved it's body afloat with visible effort.
Looking to your right you see Natty with her assortment of conjured birds swiftly circling around her head - a stark contrast to your own haphazardly flying bird.
It was clear that was how the spell was supposed to work, an array of birds instead of the lone creature you had conjured.
Natty directed her gaze towards you as her eyes flicked down and noticed your meager creation.
She tilted her head to examine your chubby aviary.
Her expression turned visibly worried as she noted the sorry state of your conjured bird.
She knew that, normally, your class performance was held to a high standard, often even rivalling her own.
However, observing the stuttered beating of your bird's wing only deepened her concern further.
When class had finally ended, you wasted no time in quickly pushing yourself off your seat and striding out the door, knowingly avoiding your friends' impending interrogation.
You slipped out into the hall, and maneuvered around the sea of students with practiced agility.
As you strode down the corridor, you were keenly aware of the presence of Poppy and Natty trailing behind you, their footsteps growing nearer with each passing moment.
This thought had only caused you to hasten your hurried pace.
Quickly rounding a corner your forehead slams against someone's firm chest.
Two calloused hands perched itself onto your shoulders to help keep you steady, the familiar scent of books and pine fills your senses.
As you look up to confirm your suspicions you see that it's none other than the subject to most of your budding affections since the past year.
Sebastian's shocked expression shifts into one of fondness as he realises that it's you.
He then presents you with his usual charming grin.
Sensing your distress shortly after though, his face drops, and his warm hand tightens it's hold against your shoulder blades.
"You alright? You look like you've just sprinted through an angry horde of diricawls."
He masks his growing concern with humour in attempt to alleviate your tension and he can't help but crack a small smile as he feels you relax under his palm.
"Merlin, why does everybody keep asking me that.."
You groan loudly infront of the boy, and he rolls his eyes in response, smiling fondly.
"I don't know, It might be because you more or less resemble a pesky raccoon with how dark your undereyes have gotten."
"Oh, bugger off, will you?"
You merely huff out indignantly and cross your arms in response.
The action only serves to make him laugh, his boyish charm radiating off of his echoed laugher, and you unconsciously melt against his hold.
Sebastian's laughter fades as his gaze dropped back to study you intently, causing you to squirm subtly under the intensity of his stare.
His amusement quickly gave way to concern as he asked with more seriousness, his tone softer than before,
"No, but seriously, you've been looking a bit worse for wear these past few days. Are you sure you're feeling alright?"
"Been keeping a close eye on me, have you?"
You chimed, your lips tugging upwards into a slight smirk before you could stop yourself.
Sebastian merely quirks an eyebrow at your insinuation, and you shift uncomfortably under him when his signature charming grin slowly made it's way onto his face.
He had to admit that he missed your rather flirty banter and snarky remarks
(Not sure if you ever meant to make it seem that way, but he liked to think you did.)
Sebastian's voice came out casual and nonchalant, almost playful, as he continued,
"Despite your usual, slow judgement, I can see you know. Besides, who could possibly resist keeping their eyes on you? "
His words were spoken casually, yet held a hint of flirtation, a slight jab at your obliviousness to his observation.
Before you could even question what he meant, Poppy's voice rings throughout the hall calling out your name, making you look over your shoulder to see her and Natty steadily closing the distance between the four of you.
Without sparing the boy a reply you swiftly duck against Sebastian's hold and hurriedly jog away from his tall frame.
Not looking back, you beeline to your next class and silently pray that nobody else bombards you with the same queries and worried glances that had been plaguing you all morning.
Sebastian was left to stand alone, shock evident on his face as his arms are left frozen midair where it had once been grasping your slender shoulders, his form unmoving and mind still reeling from your abrupt departure.
Snapping out of his daze, his head snapped from your steadily distancing frame to your friends' approaching figures.
Both girls had finally managed to reach him, and the duo were left slightly breathless.
Sebastian, being the ever courteous lad that he was, waited patiently for the two to gather their bearings before shooting each of them a questioning look.
"That girl does not know when to take a break!"
Natty heaved slightly panting, whereas Poppy slumped over herself from beside Natty, her hands perched on her own chest as visible distress plastered itself on her usual calm and serene face.
"She's been performing quite poorly in class and has even been dozing off. 'Suspect she's exhausted.."
Poppy said, frowning and continued
"It's nothing outrageous for a student of course, especially now during N.E.W.T's... But you know better than anyone how she normally is, Sebastian. She'd sooner lick the floor rather than let her grades drop.."
Sebastian did, in fact know better than anyone that you would strive for the best grades you could possibly get, seeming to brighten with the validation you received from professor's whenever you performed particularly well in classes.
He couldn't help but sink deeper into concern when he realised that at this point, it wasn't just him who noticed your peculiar behaviour.
He worried what kind of predicament weighed your otherwise steadfast bright and energetic demeanour and cause it to dimmer significantly.
This tiring game of cat and mouse continue as the trio fight tooth and nail to try and drag you into resting.
And as another day passes by, more of your mutual friends start picking up on your recent oddities.
Garreth confessed that while he usually did respect you dearly, he couldn't resist the fits of laughter bubbling from his chest at the sight of you, covered in black soot.
You were brewing a batch of Wiggenwald and it all but exploded into your face.
The dark substance had coated your normally otherwise pristine and spotless skin.
After a while even Ominis, despite lacking the significant bodily sensation of sight, managed to notice your tired energy contrasting the usual sunny girl he's come to know.
Everyone tries everything they can to make you rest, but for someone who possesses a considerably fragile disposition you owned a rather steel hard stubbornness
(Much to your friends displeasure).
Normally, Sebastian would think this trait of yours quite endearing, but these days between everyone including him trying to force you to rest and only having you huffing and rejecting is just proving to irk him more and more.
You've been trying to ignore the dizzying sensations badgering you in random hours the entirety of the day.
Afternoon arrives and you're walking with Sebastian and Ominis towards the Potions wing.
Striding rather abruptly, your vision blurs in an instant and the room starts spinning, stumbling slightly you steady yourself in a frenzy and attempt to mask the growing throbbing of your head, hoping to Merlin that both boys had failed to notice.
Purposely avoiding their line of gaze you hurriedly continue to walk forward, missing the deep scowl now etched onto Sebastian's lip and Ominis' visible agitation, the latter's wand pulsing a radiant red.
As Sebastian spots you in the hall the next day, you seemed to look worse than ever before, skin ghastly pale and your usual vibrant face lacking any of it's normal vigor.
You looked ready to pass out at any given moment, before he could stop himself he followed you out of heavy concern, purposely sticking to you at a safe distance, intent and ready to catch you when you inevitably fainted before you had the chance to even hit the floor.
He trailed behind your form as quietly as he could (though he doubted there was any use in that since you looked as if your mind held no coherent thought whatsoever.)
You turned a corner and he stalked silently over to the wall to peek his head out.
Taking in the view just in time to see a Hufflepuff walking over to greet you, stopping abruptly and leaning his back against the wall he hears the girl say
"I'm Adelaide Oakes, you're that sixth year everyone's been talking about since last July aren't you? I've heard about your... endeavours through countless others and I've been hoping to get some time alone with you..."
Sensing where this was going Sebastian leans forward to hear better into the conversation, hoping, praying that you wouldn't even entertain the idea on accepting whatever this girl was going to ask of you.
The aforementioned said something about suspecting her dear uncle had gotten himself in a band of goblin's bad favours, and she continued by expressing the worry it had all caused her for the past week.
Sebastian mentally cursed as he saw your tired eyes softening at the troubled girl's words, knowing full well that you were going to accept the moment the girl finished talking.
Sebastian suspected you were planning to sneak out the moment classes were over, and his mind was already whirling with ideas on how to prevent you from doing so.
With your last class of the day being Arithmancy, Sebastian had already decided that he would intercept you the second you stepped out of the classroom, determined to stop you from carrying out your plan.
As the Slytherin made his way towards his next class, his thoughts drifted off, and he couldn't help but mull over why you seemed to be so willing to help someone else in such a state.
Sauntering along, he found himself puzzling over your decision.
He arrived at his designated seat in class and settled down, resting his chin on his palm as his brows scrunched together in thought.
Sebastian found himself lost in contemplation, mentally tuning out Professor Weasley's lecture.
Sebastian reached his conclusion as the class continued, realizing that your willingness to help stemmed from your ridiculously kind nature.
He thought that you simply couldn't bear the thought of saying no to anyone, and he silently lamented this thought throughout the remainder of the class.
But of course, something just had to go wrong.
The second Professor Weasley dismissed Transfiguration classes, Sebastian bolted upright and ran straight through the door before most had even gotten the chance to take a few steps from their desks.
'Why does the castle's halls have to be so darn crowded this particular time of day?'
Sebastian thought bitterly to himself, shoving his way into the cramped cluster of students.
Reaching his destination infront of the open classroom door, Sebastian cursed again, his eyes darting from side to side as he scanned the room, desperately searching the area for any sign of you.
Spinning quickly, he anxiously scoured the corridor, but you remained nowhere to be seen.
After glumly kicking the nearby doorframe, Sebastian stalked away with a deep frown, opting to wait for your return instead.
He overheard the general direction the girl had pointed you in and thought you would most likely enter through the north exit, passing by a grandfather clock, he noted the time:
With a huff, he sat himself down in front of the giant double doors, stilling as he prepared to wait for your return, ready to tend to you the moment you entered.
Weakly striding up the Hogwarts ground's north entrance you reached a hand up to push open the heavy, double door.
The sun peeked out of the horizon, steadily rising as some birds started to chirp, all while the cold morning air nipped against your flushed cheeks, Your palm perched on your forehead as a deep gash on your shoulder prevented you on making use of both hands.
Trudging upwards, you swayed under the dizziness and fatigue.
Besides the crimson slice across your upper arm, your body was littered with bruises and other minor injuries, your mind, foggy.
Wondering how you'd even managed to escape alive and rescue Adelaide's uncle considering your already pitiful state - you had no idea.
Pushing open the large entrance, you stepped inside, your head throbbed painfully as the heavy door slammed shut with a deafening thud.
Sebastian's slouched form jerked awake from the echoing sound of the door closing.
Rubbing his eyes, his vision focused on the figure now standing at the entryway.
Hastily standing up to squint at the figure, he's greeted by a clear view of your disheveled appearance infront of him.
Sebastian observed you taking a few steps forward, and he slowly started to stride towards you.
You seemed to be in such a daze that you failed to have even noticed his approaching presence.
Sebastian's concern escalates as he watches you waver and wobble on your feet.
Unconsciously, he transitions his stride into a jog, and then a sprint, quickly closing the distance between you- just in time to catch you right before your body collapsed, preventing your unconscious form from hitting the cold marble floor.
Waking up to the view of the hospital wing's pristine white ceiling you gingerly blink a few more times in attempt to try and refocus your vision.
Turning your head to the side, you're greeted with Sebastian's slouched form sitting on a stool beside you. Dark circles encompassed his undereye and his hair seemed to be messier than usual.
He seemed to be in deep thought, both elbows on his knees and chin resting on his palm, brows furrowed while he chewed on his bottom lip, staring intensely at a corner of the room.
His gaze wandered until it locked with yours, without warning he swiftly straightened his body and clutched your unmoving hand positioned on your side.
He seemed to be in an internal debate with himself as his mouth closed and opened repeatedly.
Finally, after silently confirming that you seemed to be in a steady enough condition, he yelled loudly, making you visibly flinch in response to the sheer volume and intensity of his voice.
"How could you have been so utterly daft!? You've been out doing who knows what, running around the highlands doing favours while being in such a state!? Imelda had been going at it in my ear for the better part of the morning reprimanding me for ever letting you get away with all of it in the first place-- And honestly I can't blame her! Merlin , If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were intentionally trying to get yourself killed!"
You were speechless, you had expected some sort of lecture, but definitely not something that heated.
You stupidly stared at him with wide eyes paired with a slightly agape mouth, until finally managing to sputter something out.
You were surprised at his outburst because you hadn't ever witnessed Sebastian being this emotional, except when it was something that had been related to Anne.
Unbeknownst to you, the sight of your bedridden form, pale complexion, cracked lips, and labored, shallow breaths had all but hit Sebastian with a gut-wrenching familiarity.
He simply couldn't bare the concerning resemblance you momentarily held of his cursed twin, and without thinking, he had lashed out the emotions of his revelation to you.
Letting out a shaky exhale he rested his gaze back onto yours, his eyes round and forehead wrinkled.
"You.... I don't understand. Why on Merlin's name, would you do something so foolish? "
Wincing at the sharp edge in the last word of his question, you averted your gaze, shame washing over you as you instinctively pressed your lips together in a thin, tight line.
"I...I'm sorry, I just, I-.."
Mentally cursing at your pathetic stammering, your face steadily grew hot, and your eyes brimmed with tears.
Your voice cracked, forcing you to briefly clench your eyes shut to contain the tears threatening to spill over.
Sebastian instantly softened and unconsciously rubbed his thumb over the back of your clutched hand.
"I apologise, I... While I daresay this wasn't an overreaction on my part, eitherway I'm still sorry."
A few seconds of silence pass before he continues.
"I get that you find it difficult to reject favours... But is it truly that hard to say no for you?"
Swallowing heavily, you slowly shake your head, denying his prior assumption which, in turn earns you a confused stare from Sebastian.
"...I don't do it because I find it difficult to say no to others."
Pausing, you hesitantly look back at the boy and he replies, slowly.
Inhaling a sharp breath you continue,
"I do it to feel like I'm a better person than I actually am.. I'm just constantly worried about what others think of me. This image of being the almighty 'Hero of Hogwarts' It's...It's like a shadow that follows me everywhere, and... I'm scared of the day when everyone realises that I'm really... nobody special."
Sebastian firmly speaks out, making you stare at him with wide eyes.
Brief silence envelopes you both, the slytherin pauses to sigh deeply before looking at you with furrowed brows paired with wide, round eyes before giving your hand another gentle squeeze.
"Where on earth have you been getting these ideas?"
He asks, before his expression of gentle concern shifts to one of anger
"Has someone been planting these absurdities into your head??"
Hastily, you shake your head and it takes a moment for Sebastian to recollect himself before directing an incredulous stare at you.
(as if it was hard for him to comprehend that you could even think you weren't deserving of your reputation and title.)
Because truthfully, he thought you of all people deserved it most, and he would sooner dive fifty meters off the edge of a cliff before letting you think differently.
He rubs his thumb over the back of your palm again before raising his unoccupied hand onto your upper arm and slowly sliding it onto your shoulder.
"You're absolutely unreal. I mean, the least you could do to appear more human is to grow an insufferably large ego- to match all the things you've managed to do. I mean, of all the thick-headed prats I know... none of them could even begin to compare with all the things you've accomplished."
Suddenly, the room feels considerably warmer, the thick hospital blanket draped down your lower body suddenly becoming more unbearable as the seconds ticked by, you're avoiding Sebastian's gaze as he addresses you with the utmost gentleness you've ever heard someone speak.
"....Think about it, you started late into hogwarts-- fifth year, where OWL's and every heavy workload starts piling up when you were running behind in five years worth of education."
"-And yet you managed to pass through considerably one of the hardest exams in hogwarts being only second to N.E.W.T's in difficulty- and all the while fighting trolls, poachers, goblins and ashwinders and who knows what every other day like they were child's play, WITH your limited duelling knowledge."
Sebastian retracts his hand from your shoulder and launches it onto his messy hair, pushing the strands back with his fingers before abruptly leaning his head back to let out an unbashed laugh and dropping it back down to lock eyes with you.
"Bloody hell, don't even get me started on your duelling. I mean, you managed to beat me! Reigning duelling champion with Levioso! A damn first-year level levitation charm! On your first day, no less!"
The brunette scoffed and rolled his eyes as you giggle, feigning annoyance while he secretly feels himself melt at the sound.
"Yeah, you're probably feeling quite pleased with yourself now, aren't you?"
His scowl gradually faded into an endearing smile as he gazed back at you.
Your laughter falters as you're caught off guard by the look of fondness his gaze held as he stared at you.
He continues his verbal tirade, but this time he looks to the side, opposite of you, unable to meet your gaze as he blurts out the last of his confession.
"I don't know how you ever came to the conclusion that you're somehow undeserving of everything you've rightfully earned. Well, I'll even go as far as disagree and say that you deserve more... But- that's not the point"
He falters for a brief moment, stuttering slightly as his ears flush a delicate shade of red, and you can't help but bite your lip, suppressing a giggle at the sight.
He inhales sharply, before continuing speaking, his tone filled with conviction.
"But... I know you better than anyone else. And I can say this with absolute certainty, you are far from a nobody. You're strong... kind,- and one of the bravest people I know. You may not see it, but trust me, you're anything but insignificant."
Your breath catches in your throat as he slowly turns his head back to look at you .
Silence hangs in the air as the two of you lock eyes for a while.
You take a deep breath and summon your courage, raising your free hand, you gently rest it on his, the one that's grasping your own.
His eyes follow the movement closely, then he snaps his gaze back to your face. A demure smile graces your lips, unknowingly making his heart stutter at the sight.
Then, you give his hand a firm, reassuring squeeze, and he swears he felt his soul ascend for a brief second.
Your shared little moment is quickly dissolved as the hospital wing's doors slam open, the familiar view of your friend group marching in.
Instinctively, you tug both your hands out of his grasp, momentarily pulling your conjoined hands, and in turn, Sebastian- forward from the sudden action.
Imelda's familiar rumbustious voice fills the quiet room. "Nice of you to rejoin the land of the living."
She announces, whereas Poppy quickly makes her way over to your side, opposite of where Sebastian was situated.
"Does your head hurt?-" Not giving you any time to reply, she hastily grabs both your shoulders.
"Your shoulders are so tense- I'll ask Nurse Blainey to prepare you a calming draught right after this."
She coos, before swiftly raising a hand over to your forehead.
"Oh my, you're heating up...Your face is unbelievably red- Oh, poor you-"
"Merlin, let the girl breathe Poppy." Imelda barks out a laugh from the foot of your mattress.
You manage to flash a weak smile to the worried hufflepuff before she reluctantly leans back and steps away from your bed.
Sneaking a quick glance back over to Sebastian, you're greeted with the view of him unmistakably pouting, his hand left on the spot ontop of your bed where you had pulled away from him.
Your train of thought is interrupted by the sound of Ominis' musing.
"I can't say we didn't tell you something like this would end up happening if you didn't stop, but you're just as stubborn as our dear Mr. Sallow, here."
Everyone collectively shares a laugh before Natty steps over to your side holding up a pile of parchment.
"It's some of our classwork you missed throughout the day, we all decided to help out in gathering it.... To make sure you wouldn't miss out on any of the lessons."
The girl smiled before putting the assortment of work on your bedside table.
Garreth confesses, effectively causing Natty to rub her neck, and she looks over to you, bashful.
"Thank Natty, She thought about the idea first, she deserves most of the credit."
"Well, I don't share all the same classes with you, so none of this could have been done without everyone's help."
As the group steadily starts talking between themselves, You slowly slide your hand over to Sebastian's, your touch tentative as you shyly maneuver to link your pinky with his, keeping your gaze fixed on your chatting friends.
He's initially caught-off-guard by the gesture but quickly responds by shifting his finger to press gently against yours, his pout transforming into a subtle, tender smile.
In your mind, you made a mental note to talk to Sebastian after your friends left, with the intention of continuing your prior conversation to where it had been left off.
