Jules of Nature
RMH
Love Begins
JBB: An Artblog!
styofa doing anything
$LAYYYTER
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pixel skylines
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dirt enthusiast
h
ellievsbear
YOU ARE THE REASON
Janaina Medeiros
Andulka
shark vs the universe
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
🪼
#extradirty
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@kauzmoss
I’m gonna be real honest with y’all, but like no intelligence is as important as emotional and interpersonal intelligence like I don’t care if you don’t know the difference between a softball and a volleyball but if you know how to treat people like basic human beings and understand others have complex feelings and how to approach that with kindness and genuine empathy then I fucking love you with my whole fucking heart the end
We miss you Chester.
Nothing like Passionate Sweaty Chester!
He was so young here…
“Don’t say maybe if you want to say no.”
— Unknown
Girls get made fun of for everything might as well do what you want lol
not to be dramatic but this mentality literally freed me
I can hardly believe it’s been a year. A whole year. I can hear your voice which is so familiar yet so different at the same time. I can hear it without even listening. It is buried inside me. Your voice soothed me, your words healed me, your music inspired me. You changed me. And I don’t know what to do with this feeling. Sometimes I feel content, knowing I have a little bit of you in me. Other times I feel so empty, knowing that’s all I’ll ever get.
It’s been a year and it still feels like yesterday. My heart was broken and I haven’t been able to put it together again. A piece is missing. It’ll be missing forever. You took it away. Once more… You changed me.
Bright, bright, bright star. You shine on. You are so missed, so loved. So far gone, yet looking so alive from down here. Burning between us. We’ll carry on. We’ll work it out, you live through us.
Forever in us. Forever with us. You’re not gone. Wherever you are, Love you.
And the world is so still…
i just saw someone on tumblr say they were born in 2004 and i choked you’re all babies babies i say it’s impossible anyone born in 2004 is 5 years old at most
I was born in 2004 and I’m 14 lmao
that’s impossible 2004 was only 5 years ago you are a mere baby please return to your miniaturized racecar bed
Excuse me, I was 14 in 2004. There wasn’t even tumblr around. No YouTube. Nothing. But it didn’t matter cause the internet wasn’t really a thing anyway. Holy shit, infants everywhere :D
I feel like I've reached a state where I'm okay. Then there are these days when I wake up after a Chester related dream and feel this emptiness. The reminder of a loss. I think this is it, you don't get more over grief than that. And I don't want to get more over it. What is left is more the memory, not just the pain and I want to remember. Chester made an impact on my life and I want to remember him, forever. I want to listen to him, forever. (the sound of your voice painted on my memories) I want to visit one of these amazing murals of him, one day. I want to witness in person the things in the world where he lives on. The music, the art. And Linkin Park. If they go on with making music together, I will be there to witness it. LP was a huge part of Chester's life and I want to witness them. And I will remember, forever. I will keep and love him in my memory, forever.
I just made a whole new post and it got lost (in the echo)... -.-
Dreams of Chester #1
As of today I'm starting to write down the dreams I have about Chester. It's the only connection I'll ever have and I don't want to forget them.
The most recent one.
I was his daughter or step daughter. I looked like Speedy from Arrow (Willa Holland). Chester had already passed. I received all his old clothes and took them to his flat or a place he left for me, I don't know. I was wearing one of his old hoodies and it was the most comfortable piece if clothing I had ever worn.
I think it's a symbol of what he gave me, what his voice gave me. Protection. A home. Safety. Only through his voice. And his eyes, I can see someone truly when Iook in their eyes. And Chester was honest, he didn't hide. (Until he did, sunglasses etc) He put it all in his voice. He put it in words. He put it in his face on stage. Until today since July 20th I haven't watched a live show, though I wanted to. It hurts. And I still haven't drawn him. Not even tried.
I'm tagging LP family, because I want to reach with my posts people who understand.
Chester’s presence helps deal with his passing, Nothing makes sense.
I miss him though I've never met him, and practically nothing in my life changed since he's gone, but it hurts so much. Nothing makes sense.
I've always loved dragonflies, ever since I was a child. They're magical.
This show was such a brave thing to do. It's still unbelievable that this is reality now, but we have to be brave too and embrace it. LP forever! ❤️
Who cares if one more light goes out?
a few days ago, I had a Chester dream. I wish so much I had written it down immediately, because parts are already vanishing. I’ll try to remember.
I was hanging out with Chester. He was young, Grey Daze time, and I was actually with him and the band after band practice. This dream was probably triggered by the pic postet recently on the Grey Daze instagram (@therealgreydaze).
It felt like we were students brought together by circumstances and we were becoming friends. I’m not even sure what my role was or how we were connected or what justified me being there (story of my life, lol). I was sitting on a couch with Chester in a big room, more like a little hall, where Grey Daze usually rehearsed in my dream. We were looking at his notes or lyrics together (Sean Dowdell actually uploaded some lyrics handwritten by Chester on instagram, which is super awesome), talking about the songs (at least according to the dream memory, I have no idea what he or I were saying). The rest of the band was nearby, probably packing up gear. Then the other Linkin Park members entered the hall, apparently it was their turn to rehearse. I saw a young Rob, with really short hair, who was approaching us to tell us that we have to clear the place because of the schedule. If it had been a movie it would be the scene where Chester meets the guys from future Linkin Park for the first time. I was sitting there, observing the situation, thinking about the meaning. I remembered that Chester is gone in the present and I realized that I must be in the past, through time travel or something. I went to the lobby of this band practice place or small concert hall and was kind of teleported back to 2018, knowing that I’d return back to the past when going back to the band. Weird. In the lobby I saw an advertisement for a memorial show for Chester, a picture of him, in violet colours (not Hollywood Bowl show). I thought about warning him or the others, but I didn’t do it. Does that mean I made peace with his passing? I didn’t feel like it was necessary, or right. I’m not Barry Allen to go around and fuck with the timeline.
Then I started waking up, I was being pulled away slowly from this interesting dream. Maybe I’ll be able to experience such dreams more clearly if I write them down, like when you try to achieve lucid dreaming and keep a dream journal. Though I don’t want to go full lucid, I’m too much afraid of sleep paralysis... I enjoy those “hanging out with Chester” dreams. It’s making up for the fact that I never got to meet him. He might have not known me, but I knew him, we were connected through the music, just like he was connected with so many other fans. His voice wasn’t just an exceptional voice, it was a beam of light. It was like soul wi-fi.
hello dear followers, thank you for following me, it means a lot.
i'm torn apart between what I think is expected of me and what I want. It's a stressful feeling that puts me in a catatonic state inside. It's easy to forget who I am and how I act when not knowing what to do. Where is the line between fulfilling the expectations and being a friendly normal human and fulfilling the expectations and being a mindless pawn in other people's desires?
