The turn that my mom made to get back on the road we meant to take before.
That one changed my night.
I didn't expect it and then she happened. I truly believe that moment made my future.
If it wasn't that, then another turn of events that would've taken place and that would've been too long to get to, I'm sure.
She was on the road to success.
I remember her, dressed in black if you didn't look closely and she that she was in uniform and her glasses and hair gave her away in the yellow light that beams at night, making it harder to see the outfit of a person. But I knew, I knew it was her.
I remember pulling in and telling my mom to park on the side because I knew that girl and that she worked at the theater just to make sure my mom knew it was safe, a reassurance to park.
That was the night Kyssta met my mom for the first time. A friend I thought when Kyssta said "hi" to my mom. Smiles all round.
That night, I knew was such a night to remember and it's stuck with me ever since.
Kyssta smiled and smiled.
Her voice is somehow attractive and bold but with such a good tone that it makes you want to hear her more and more.
We talked alone as my mom waited for me, she's a very patient person, it's what I love about my mom.
As we talked, I looked at her "lunch". Pretzel bites. It made me chuckle inside.
We finished our conversation and I remember being discombobulated because I'm use to talking to her in Snapchat. In person is different. She threw me off that night.
It was a coincidence, purley, I promise, she caught me off guard so much so, I thought about it more and more as I got back in the car and sat in thought and I remember specifically how I Snapchatted her after about how funny it was that she was there, on The Stairs.
Funny how I somehow found her, or somehow, she called me without intention...
I question and wonder... If it was meant to happen. If she was meant to be.
Things went the way they did, events and feelings. I knew how to Love and I Believe so much in it because of how much I *did* believe in it.
I see these pictures in my head. These pictures that grant me nothing but bitersweet feelings.
We've both changed since.
We've come a long way since those stairs that night.
We call each other "baby" instead of just "babe" unless we're calling to each other for some quick attention about something not important.
When she says "what baby?", My butterflies soar now.
Iiss her cuddles, I miss her strokes on my skin, her touch when it's natural.
I dismissed all these things in the beginning and now, after these years, she stays at Bay tondo so because of how I was stubborn and a brat about it.
Fuck, how I miss them. How I miss her.
I blew it on that end, I'm trying to teach her again to do it now but it's not the same.
I feel as though I have broken her in that sense. I didn't know any better.
I do now and man, do I miss it.
Man... Do I fucking *miss* that.
I *miss* her and missed in general.
I know now and how these little things... these little fucking things *do* fucking matter.
I regret things but I also know that I couldn't just simply change at the time.
I give her props for so much and I hope that one day she'll start to believe again and somehow, she'll see what I see now and what has changed in me to be this person that just simply didn't know any better then and up to now, how I've been better and will accept whatever she wants to do for and towards me, just like she had in the beginning.
I wouldn't put it past her but I would want her to know now how much it's been a struggle for me and that I have learned.
It's all I want. Just her Love, no one else's because she is all that matters to me. Heart and soul.
titsay
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