keep going @keepgoingfitspo - Tumblr Blog

right where i started

i guess i shouldnt put too much pressure on myself. no one should. at least that’s what i’ve been reading all around.

with the pandemic, anxiety at top levels, no being able to trust anything, having to workout at home, etc, it should feel OK to not have moved on my weightloss journey. but i dont.

i’ve actually took a couple os steps. started on a new diet, lost a few pounds. but then gained everything again. i havent been drinking waterm havent been able to drag myself up to the gym, which is now open.

it’s really comfortable. not going to the gym, staying in, binging on one tree hill (i cant believe keith died and i hate dan), wearing sweats, drinking hot cocoa.

but now summer is approaching. and not only there’s and expectation, but i live in brazil. IT’S REALLY HOT YOU GUYS. i cannot leave the house in jeans, sweats, anything that covers my legs. and my legs look awful, once again. workint out in pants is terrible but i cannot wear those tiny shorts anymore. they do not fit me anymore and again, my legs are horrendous.

anyway. it’s comfortable not doing anything until it’s REALLY uncomfortable going out. when my stomach pops out cause i’ve eaten too mich gluten and didnt drink any water all day. when i look at myself and not see ANY CHANGE in my body for the last year, even though i’ve been trying.

i started a new meal plan. my new nutricionist doenst want me saying i’m a compulsive eater. that’s supposed to make things easier. i’ve been on it for 2 weeks but last week didnt count. i ate a lot of shit during the week. but ok, new week, i’m trying again. giving the chance. already desperate.

i really dont know i=what i’ll do if this doesnt work.

jaidspo-deactivated20250929

reminder that perfection isn't real and learning to tell yourself that you are enough is the antidote ✨

thrynka

veganmichephd-deactivated202312

Instagram: @veganmiche

Muito difícil para os outros entenderem o que é ser uma comedora compulsiva sem ter sobrepeso. Ja entendi que seguindo meu plano alimentar ru me sinto mais segura e mais confortável, pq é qd sigo à risca que tenho menos recaídas. Mas me sinto altamente exposta se preciso explicar q nao vou comer slgo q sigo um plano alimentar, pq as pessoas automaticamente entendem que é pq eu quero emagrecer, e que isso pode ser algo superficial ja que eu sou, all things considered and for all purposes, magra. E nao me leve a mal, eu quero emagrecer. Não faço parte da parcela da população que ta contra padroes impostos pelo patriarcado - abençoados sejam, cristais evoluidos. Não sou e quero ser magra.

Mas eu tb quero parar de comer compulsivamente. Quero vencer meu vício. Pq é doloroso e cheio de culpa. Nao me sinto mal so por estar ingerindo calorias demais, nem so por me sentir mal fisicamente. Me sinto mal pq é um comer sem prazer, sem noção. E é por isso que eu preciso me ater ainplano alimentwr. Por isso q eu preciso recusar educadamente o pudim, o pao de queijo. E sei que tb ae as pessoas quiserem me julgar pq elas ja interpretaram a maneira delas a minha recusa, isso é problema delas. Mas eu tb gosto de ser gostada, de agradar.

Enfim, um dos motivos é esse. E no final sou eu ainda a responsável. Não é o outro. Só eu. So eu tomo a decisão de me importar mais com a percepção do outro sobre mim e menos com a minha saude e minha integridade e meu aut controle e minha sobriedade.

Um dia de cada vez. Sobria nas proximas 24 horas.

#compulsive eating #eating disoder thoughts

oficially my 2nd day. kinda hungry. i’m actually doing lowcarb for a few weeks, and i hope it is worthy. i’m going to the beach in 10 days LOL i’m already regreting it.

yeah last week was a bust cause it started with that fast. the next day i was already feeling my stomach ache, in that way it always does whenever i fail to eat. i’m telling you i wouldn’t be capable of having anorexia, ever, just because of that. inspite me having all the other boxes checked, my stomach wont let me skip meals just for the sake of it.

so i starved from one day to the other, and ended up eating like a mamut for the rest of the week LOL. what a tragedy,

so today i went to a real doctor. a nutricionist. im fat, you guys. dangerously. i’m worries about diabetes actually, due to all my family history. begining today, im having a balanced diet overseen by a doctor.

65kg, 30% body fat.

day 2

i ended up doing a 2h fast cause i went to bed early and wasnt hungry today. ok i was a little bit hungry, but i was so bloated last night that i didnt want to eat today. that’s dangerous, i know.

so far, i’ve drank water and tea, ate a salad and some roasted chicken with brocolli.