~ Angels do exist ~ Gator Tillman x reader ~
Author's note: I know nothing about Fargo, nor do I intend to look into it, but please just indulge me on this. I have no idea if this fits into the canon but it's what came to mind from what I've seen :') I will mostly stick to writing him post Fargo !
You didn't quite know why you were here. You'd sworn... sworn you were done with the asshole when you decided to put a stop to it over a year ago now. Done with the abuse, done with the bullying, done with the ego so big that there was little to no space for you in that relationship to begin with. If that was even what you could call it... In hindsight, you weren't even sure if you ever were anything like that to Gator. It was nothing like what you'd seen in the movies, that's for sure. But when you ran into Nadine just a few days ago, and she came to you with an earnest plead, you'd found yourself wavering. Wavering to the point where... Yeah, you ended up booking the visitation. It'd taken a bit longer, although you wasn't sure why, something about how he was kept in a special ward... And it made you wonder what the fuck he'd got up to in all that time, since you used to know him as the towns sheriff before. Still, if he had a right to visitation, it couldn't be anything too bad... Right? Honestly, when you left him, you didn't put anything past him anymore, so you weren't sure why you were trying to justify him now, of all times, in fucking prison... And why the fuck were you here?
Your thoughts were interrupted when the door opened, and all your questions were answered upon the first second of seeing him. You didn't speak, your gaze immediately drawn to his face covered in bandages. And just like that, a million contradicting feelings came flooding over you all at once. But the guard guided him to his chair, and so he sat opposite you, and you had no time to process any of it, literally none. His hair had grown out a bit and framed the bandages covering his eyes, his posture half deflated, his shoulders slightly slouched, and his hands nervously folded under the table. You couldn't bring yourself to speak, though you felt a sharp pain as you realised this was actually the same person. He spoke first, obviously, not expecting anyone else than Nadine at this point.
'Before ye ask, I'm holdin' up alright. Just bored out of my damn mind half the time.' Sitting in a chair seemed to do him a favor cuz he shifted, leaning his elbow on the backrest and slipping into his more familiar, legs spread and I'm the best thing in the room, kinda posture. You guessed, whatever happened to his eyes, getting around with the help of others must be incredibly hard for him. The way you knew him he'd rather crawl into a hole and die before he'd ask anyone for help. Seems life had thrown him a predicament that forced him to lower his inflated ego a bit though... You wondered if you should really do this, you still had the chance to get up, and not open up this can of worms again. But Nadine had seemed so concerned for him, and she really thought meeting you again might get him at least somewhat out of his perpetual depression a little. And so you inhaled, psyching yourself up to speak, and what came out, you hadn't really thought about. It was just... a habit from way before.
'Hun?' Your voice was kind of like electricity that sparked something inside of him, as he pushed off his chair slightly in disbelief. His whole aura shifting once again, in a way you'd never even seen him do before. No false bravado, no cocky backtalk, just intreague and a certain level of vulnerability. He didn't speak, his lips pressing together in a bit of a tense grimace. He knew he had nothing to say after all. There were not enough 'sorry's' in the world that could make up for some of the shit he'd pulled on you, but still you came. And so, his slightly apologetic posture leaned forward onto the table, one of his hands laying flat on the surface and moving a bit towards you, apprehensively, and unsure. You realised this was it, this was the choice you had to make, right now. But before you could think it over you reached out your hand and put it over his, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. Gator remained sitting like that, shoulders slouched, head hung, a little bit in shame, a little bit in relief and gratitude. After what felt like 5 minutes, your brought up your other hand as well and you held both of his in yours, slightly shaking. For the entirety of that visit, nothing else was said. You were just there, but you couldn't bring yourself to talk about any of it yet, and for him that was enough. Even if you walked out and never came back after this, he'd be forever thankful for this moment of silence with you alone. It's more than what he'd dared to hope for. And so he leaned over, with a soft sigh, changing his grip from being held by you, to holding your hands in his instead. And in all of your years you'd never seen or felt the man be so gentle with you. His lips pressing against your knuckles and his hair tickling your forearm where it reached.
'I guess... angels exist.' Oh... The greed this man embodied, but you didn't protest, you didn't reply either, you just sat basking in the silence, deciding to think it all over once more, after you got home, away from here. Away from this warm and fuzzy feeling that was starting to form in your chest once again.
Tags: @billacookie, @sunshinereaderx, @fangirlposts, @mushroomfrogo, @littlebunnybigheartfics
