I literally do not care how people interpret my work. That's up to them to decide, and I'm not going to waste my time holding their hand or spelling it out for them, especially if they're not hurting anyone by taking something differently from what was originally intended.
It's strange to me how creators do that a lot nowadays, and so casually (telling me "not a ship" isn't gonna stop me from mentally interpreting it as romantic if I already ship it, sorry). I think it's good thing if your work is a little divisive.
The only thing I ask is to not interpret in bad faith. That is it. The bar is that low.
So I'm currently working on a Lust/Killer Sans hybrid sona and yâknow what's fueling me?
Imma romanticize, sexualize, fetishize, normalize, fuckingize Killermare so hard and nobody is going to stop me. Imma give this sona my cPTSD, crank it up to 11, and then make it sexy because I'M in control now, motherfuckers! This is how CNC works! In artform! And I don't even need to have sex! Isn't that beautiful?? Isn't that magical??
No? You don't think so? Good thing this is for ME then.
This being said, they will definitely have a good ending route like canon Killer does, to give myself the happy ending I crave. I'm wondering if it would be too on the nose if I made my Colorkiller like... the goth x the cottagecore lesbian dynamic.
So I'm currently working on a Lust/Killer Sans hybrid sona and yâknow what's fueling me?
Imma romanticize, sexualize, fetishize, normalize, fuckingize Killermare so hard and nobody is going to stop me. Imma give this sona my cPTSD, crank it up to 11, and then make it sexy because I'M in control now, motherfuckers! This is how CNC works! In artform! And I don't even need to have sex! Isn't that beautiful?? Isn't that magical??
No? You don't think so? Good thing this is for ME then.
I think I was like... 11? Though I didn't really like it at first. It wasn't until much later I found yaoi ships I actually enjoyed. I was more into yuri for a while.
Just here to gush about the Colorkillermare love triangle/vee from the perspective of someone who isn't saying "Killermare bad" over and over again in varying ways. We get it. You're boring.
It is so fucking juicy guys. We are being fed, and I genuinely feel for those who can't truly appreciate it for what it is. I mentioned on Bluesky that Colorkillermare is basically just Valangelhusk from Hazbin, and I stand by that, even if I was half joking. I was also being half serious. I will explain.
This is going to have a little bit of analysis, so stick with me here.
Like with Valangel, Killer is trauma bonded to Nightmare. No, there is no "Stockholm syndrome," because that is not real. It is an outdated term. Call it what it is: a trauma bond. And no, trauma bond does not mean bonding over a shared trauma. It is the codependent bond between an abuser and their victim. Yes, I believe Killermare is codependent.
Nightmare is the only one who seems to genuinely need Killer, while he convinces Killer that it's the other way around. And yet, when Color successfully whisks Killer away with him of his own volition, Nightmare is furious. He may try to pretend he is tearing the multiverse apart, searching every AU from top to bottom for his runaway soldier like he's looking for stolen property, but he wouldn't be going through all that effort unless Killer was important to him in some way.
My theory is that Nightmare relied heavily on Killer's skill set to carry out his plans. Remember, the bad Sanses are mostly of fanon origin. Killer was his top henchmen, if not his only henchmen. No Dust, no Horror, and certainly no Cross, who only joined Nightmare temporarily with his own motives. Nightmare needs Killer, but Killer doesn't need him. We see this in his good ending. He needed a push, but ultimately, Killer is capable of healthy, loving relationships with the support he needs to be independent/make his own choices again.
(Remember, being independent doesn't mean being alone)
I think, much like with Huskerdust, there is potential for Colorkiller to have a lot of its own problems. Things don't usually go back to normal when you get into a healthy relationship after being in an abusive one for so long. A lot of love and patience is needed. Things might even get a little toxic in the beginning, between Killer's usual violent behaviors when his stages fluctuate, needing to be reminded and coaxed to take care of yourself, and learning to make your own decisions isn't something that happens overnight. Color, I'm sure knew what he was signing up for. He might not have been able to predict every scenario that could happen during the rehabilitation process, but he was still ready to face anything. He wanted them to face those struggles together. He had plenty of time to think about it while he was trying to save Killer.
Going to mention a common discourse I see within the Hazbin fandom over the idea of Husk, or anyone really, saving Angel. I think the problem is too many people hear a character being "saved," and they imagine a damsel in distress situation with some strong man and a weak, vulnerable victim. I think that for Angel, him saving himself is going to look like asking his friends for help. It is already hinted at constantly that Angel has a hyper-independence issue, and he is going to need to overcome that if he is going to break free from Valentino and their contract. It's okay that you can't do everything on your own. It's okay to ask for help. To be "saved," and by your own volition. You have to want that. Sometimes letting someone save you is how you save yourself.
I just remembered how a singer I like and how he once said that a fan told him "your music saved my life," and he replied back, "no, you saved your life." Maybe he gave them the tools, but they used those tools to climb out of the hole they were stuck in. They did that. He didn't want them to sell themself short for their accomplishment.
Color gave Killer the tools he needed, but only he could do the work.
Killer needed someone to shake him by the shoulders and ask him what he wanted, and Killer in his moment of lucidity, knew he wanted Color to save him. That moment was likely a major turning point on how active Color was going to be in his effort to help Killer. Killer is not a damsel in distress. Neither is Angel. To even infer that they are is a disservice to their character.
It's about choices. Choices they never got to make, but now have people around them who value their feelings.
I apologize for comparing characters from two seperate things, but both rahafwabas and superyoumna triggered this by putting Hazbin songs in their character playlists, so blame them I guess. I definitely overanalyze the songs on those playlists, but it's all in good fun. Even the singer I mentioned is in the Killer playlist (it's Yungblud and the song is The Funeral, very Killer coded).
Been working on writing something based an another song on the playlist. Figured I should plug that here, and hopefully I don't give up on it like the last one.
A person cuddling their cat or kissing their dog on the head doesn't magically become harmful when that person is a zoophile. People show affection to their pets every day, it's not inherently different when a zoophile does it.
I'm always nervous to talk on these things, but being attracted to someone you can't/shouldn't have doesn't make you an automatic danger to them. You can still continue to interact with them without assaulting them, and it would be really weird and kinda fucked up for someone to assume you would do something like that to someone you care about.
This is so obvious to me, but apparently not to everyone. The same rules of attraction apply here, and remember, SA is about power and control, not attraction.
While it is important we call out mistreatment, abuse, and grooming when we see or experience it, I do wish the perpetrator's taste in media could be left out from the discussion, entirely. It's irrelevant, it diminishes the severity of their actions, and it paints this false picture that the fiction we consume or create reflects our character.
Just like how you can't assume someone is an immoral monster for liking dark fiction, you can't assume someone is a good, innocent person for engaging with wholesome media either. Watching Steven Universe can't fix a corrupt person anymore than reading Killing Stalking can't corrupt a good person.
Scrounged up a quick fic. More Colorkiller! Because these two live rent free in my head and are my ultimate comfort ship as of now. This one's kinda short, but personal and dear to me, so I hope you enjoy.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/87130956
Tags are under the cut. Be sure to check them, as this one is SFW, but does contains some angst.
