Deromanticizing the narrative since 2012 · Local undateable NPC rendering favorite characters also undateable · SW, Hoyo, ORV, SCTIR · Jedi enjoyer · Ragbros enthusiast · Jing Yuan single father agenda · Fu Hua girlie · Aromantic KDJ truther · #1 Anna Croft fan · Han brothers defender · Art tag · Meta tag · AO3 · Carrd
when the light drips through the shutters like the dew (45K words · familial Jing Yuan & Yanqing · complete)
The boy reaches his arms out toward Jing Yuan, and the Synesthesia Beacon interprets his intent as, ‘Up!’
Even the Lux Arrow streaking across the sky cannot inspire the kind of overawed terror this boy instills in him. Mouth dry, Jing Yuan smiles shakily and attempts a delicate rejection, clasping one of those tiny outstretched hands to lower it. But when the kid realizes what’s happening, his crestfallen expression makes Jing Yuan feel like someone has run a sword straight through his heart, and he folds like wet paper, gathering the child up in his arms.
Jing Yuan’s sudden reversal has the child giggling with delighted surprise, and oh.
Oh.
There is a boy whose smile is brighter than the rising sun.
Yanqing grows up. To Jing Yuan, it is like watching a dawn that does not fade.
utopia redux (2K words · queerplatonic/ambiguous slimeknight · complete)
There’s someone staring at Avery from across the dining commons.
The person is wearing a hoodie, mask, and sunglasses, completely obscuring their face. It should be impossible to tell which direction they’re looking in, yet Avery can feel their gaze on himself like the first prickle of sensation on a numb limb.
Your online friend who you thought died a few months ago shows up at your university with an eldritch god stuck inside his head. Apparently, he’s on the run from the government, you’re their next target, and he wants you to join him. What do you say?
eridian children in Grace’s class interested but slightly disappointed to learn that much earth life is bilaterally symmetrical with even numbers of limbs
Grace going “oh!! But!” and teaching them about starfish, to their absolute delight
new eridian schoolchild trend of starfishing aka flopping flat down with all legs out and moving by wiggling and squirming around, giggling. parents hooting at Grace in despair. why did you teach them this
A selection of deleted scenes from my fic when the light drips through the shutters like the dew.
chapter 3: early years
Jing Yuan realizes Yanqing is his kid (Moved/rewritten to align with naming Yanqing in the next chapter)
And, a few months later, he realizes he’s started to refer to the child as his child, every time he thinks or speaks about him.
It’s just a passing remark from Tall Auntie, whose food stall in Aurum Alley is a household favorite. She looks at the boy in his arms and says, “Your child is finally putting on some fat, General! You must let me help with that—I’ll let you order on the house today.”
After much back and forth, with Jing Yuan insisting on paying the full price and Tall Auntie standing her ground, they converge on the natural compromise of half off.
It’s only when bowls of steaming noodles are placed before them, Jing Yuan setting his little sparrow down in his own seat, that he thinks, pleased, Tall Auntie is right; my child is finally rounding out his face, and he thinks, stricken, Ah.
This certainly can’t help the rumors.
Jing Yuan: Is it bad if I want my kid to become an engineer? (Whittled down for flow)
The forging district is one of his child’s favorite places to visit, perhaps only surpassed by the Cloud Knights’ training grounds. There’s a spark in his eye every time he beholds a sword, and selfishly, Jing Yuan hopes he grows up to be a craftsman rather than a soldier.
Still, the bedtime stories Jing Yuan tells include in equal parts both Furnace Master and Sword Champion of the Luofu of centuries past.
It is only a matter of time before his boy asks to be apprenticed to either an artisan or a swordsmaster, Jing Yuan knows, and he hopes. He hopes. But he will not become his parents.
So he buys his boy a toy sword for the first birthday they celebrate together (given that they don’t know his actual date of birth, Jing Yuan has picked one he thinks suitable—the vernal equinox). And he brings him to his favorite places.
chapter 7: cloud knights
Section leading up to Yanqing talking about having to kill the mara-struck (Rewritten because I decided Yanqing wouldn’t want to skip training)
[I didn’t keep the actual chunk where Yanqing asks to skip practice but that’s what happens before the following.]
Alarm bells start ringing in Jing Yuan’s mind. Yanqing has never asked to skip a training session. He keeps his voice calm. “All right, Aqing. Are you going to take a nap? Do you want me to stay here with you?”
Yanqing shakes his head vehemently, throwing off Jing Yuan’s hold. “Yanqing isn’t a little kid anymore, General. And Mimi is here already. You can just call me when dinner arrives.”
Jing Yuan looks at Mimi, who takes up more than half Yanqing’s bed. She meets his eyes silently, flicking her tail. “Okay,” Jing Yuan says. “Just let me know if you need anything, all right?”
“Mm.”
Jing Yuan hovers for a moment before accepting his dismissal. Yukong said before that children become moodier as they grow, but Jing Yuan’s not sure that’s all that’s going on. He spends the next hour puttering about the house, walking past Yanqing’s room several times, in hopes of hearing something from his kid. But even when he enters Yanqing’s bedroom again to put a plate of cut up fruit on the nightstand, the boy doesn’t make a sound. He might really be asleep, but that doesn’t assuage Jing Yuan’s worries at all. Yanqing isn’t someone who takes naps.
He’s also quiet throughout dinner, and he returns straight to his room afterward, shutting his door this time. Even Mimi is not allowed in this time.
chapter 8: wardance trial (i)
The morning of the first day of the Trial (Rewritten because I decided Yanqing would try to act more normal)
When Jing Yuan wakes up in the morning to prepare himself for the day, he finds Yanqing still in bed, a highly irregular occurrence.
“Aqing?” Jing Yuan calls. “Are you feeling all right?”
The bundle on Yanqing’s bed shifts. “I’m fine, General. I just…don’t really feel like going out of the house today. My squad has the even-numbered dates of the competition off.”
They’ve avoided all talk of the Wardance Trial this past month after Jing Yuan declined to let Yanqing participate. But Jing Yuan still expected Yanqing to want to watch during his free time, either with his squadmates or even with Jing Yuan at the office. Perhaps Jing Yuan’s denial has affected Yanqing more than the man anticipated.
Jing Yuan purses his lips. “I see. Well, it is your time off. You can stop by the office if you want, although I have to warn you that it will be crowded, and there will be a media presence.”
“Okay, General.” The bundle on Yanqing’s bed doesn’t move.
“…I’ll see you later, Aqing,” Jing Yuan says.
“Mm.”
Hopefully, this is just a passing melancholy, and Yanqing will be back to normal soon. On his part, Jing Yuan needs to hurry to work.
chapter 9: wardance trial (ii)
The sun is both warm and distant (Deleted for flow)
For centuries, silence was Jing Yuan’s only family.
Until, one day, it wasn’t.
After a long night, the sunrise.
But the sun can be blinding in its brilliance, especially to someone who’s lived so long in darkness.
I think Jing Yuan might be depressed guys (Deleted for flow)
The Hunt valorizes those who are willing to die. But Jing Yuan has always found it so much harder to be willing to live.
Conversation preluding Yanqing’s first appearance on the battlefield (Rewritten because I decided this felt too emotionally open for Jing Yuan esp. in front of others)
Winter comes. The Luofu’s Cloud Knights are called to a faraway star system. Yanqing sits next to Jing Yuan on board the starskiff carrier. The rest of the Luofu’s top military brass all think Jing Yuan has gone crazy, and he has. Their god is a god of retribution, death, and war, and Jing Yuan is begging Them incessantly for mercy, for life. For both Yanqing’s and his own.
He promised it once, to Yanqing. To see him grow up, or in other words, to live.
“You must live,” he tells Yanqing as the starlight stretches into the lines of hyperspace, “and I will live, too.”
This time, Yanqing’s response of “Yes, General” is neither whispered nor delayed. Just steady.
chapter 10: war
I will live, too (Deleted after rewriting the previous conversation)
Yanqing is ordered to stay within his line of sight, but also to keep a distance. One of the most dangerous places to be during a battle is, after all, the immediate vicinity of an Arbiter-General of the Xianzhou. But Jing Yuan will not last if he has to fight without being able to see him, being able to reach him.
And he has to. He said he would.
Beginning of the battle (Rewritten because I decided I disliked how the order of events impacted the flow/felt unsure about the description of tactics in this scenario)
The Xianzhou’s cloaking technology renders its ships invisible to all eyes, including their own. The transport starskiff that Jing Yuan and Yanqing have boarded hangs low in the atmosphere, and the view outside its windows are unimpeded.
One second, they are alone, and the next, they are not.
The Army of Abundance blitzes into existence. Not right next to them—they are a little ways away from the heart of the capital—but close enough to see the eyes on the biomechanical ships of the borisin. They are accompanied by a sleek fleet of wingweaver design, the same style of spacecraft that two decades ago led Jing Yuan to the planet where he would find Yanqing.
The Abominations descend upon the empty city. Jing Yuan does not give the order to engage. Not yet.
It’s a precarious line to walk. Wait too long, and the enemy starts to suspect something is wrong when they find nobody on the streets. But there is a moment between their first appearance and then where their vigilance flags.
It takes an experienced eye to see. And Jing Yuan has had his job for a very long time.
There is the slightest break in formation. A few ships peel away from the main force. The swarm on the edge of an exhale, about to scatter.
“It’s time!” Jing Yuan speaks into his comms. “Engage the enemy!”
Half a second of stillness. Then, everything around him explodes into action.
Outside the windows, the Xianzhou’s ships materialize in a cascade. At the forefront are the fighter pilots, shooting toward the enemy like arrows. Following them are the transports for ground troops, making a beeline for where the borisin’s beast ships have landed.
Jing Yuan struggles with his faith (Rewritten because I decided I wanted a different flavor of struggling with faith)
For centuries, Jing Yuan has been a devout follower of the Hunt. But that does not mean he has always had faith. For a long time, he refused to pray.
He stopped after his fight with his master. It felt like betrayal, to have his answered then.
He never forgave his god, because what is there to forgive? The path of the Hunt is straight and narrow.
The Xianzhou Alliance has no priests, because their god is a simple god. One of retribution, death, and war.
Eventually, Jing Yuan made his peace with it. He began to pray again, on the battlefield and at home. And he would not waver in his faith, until Yanqing came into his life.
Because when Yanqing came into his life, Jing Yuan started to doubt the simplicity of their god. Because is not the Reignbow Arbiter, at Their core, also a god of justice? Such is the difference between Them and the Ruins Author, who destroys without exception.
What meaning is there behind the Hunt with nothing to protect? What meaning is there, without life?
Like most Aeons, Lan does not answer Their followers’ prayers with words. Not even those They have blessed with Their own children.
Even to us spiriti, our creator prefers to speak with action, the Lightning Lord once told him.
chapter 11: stellaron crisis
Jing Yuan says thank you (Removed because I decided he wouldn’t want to do anything perceivable as encouraging Yanqing to take on his burdens)
“Ah, well, I suppose I can wait.” Jing Yuan watches his kid tap intently at the screen for a while. “Aqing,” Jing Yuan says, waiting for Yanqing to turn to him again before continuing, “thank you. For helping.”
Yanqing looks back at him, eyes wide. Then, because Jing Yuan never says the right thing, Yanqing’s expression crumbles for the third time. “I’m sorry! I disobeyed the general because I wanted to help but I was wrong—I’m sorry, I won’t do it again—”
chapter 12: aftermath
The start of Jing Yuan and Yanqing discussing Yanqing’s encounter with Jingliu (Rewritten because I decided they would both be more reluctant to do so)
“I came across a skilled swordswoman on my way to find Blade,” Yanqing tells Jing Yuan on the day they return to the Seat. “The Astral Express said they gave you the jade tracer on which I recorded our meeting.”
Jing Yuan, mindlessly shuffling through the piles of paperwork that have accumulated on his desk, takes a moment to respond. “They did.”
“I know I was acting reckless, but I’d really like to meet her again.” Yanqing pauses. “I feel like I could learn a lot from her.”
Spying Yanqing’s jade tracer half-buried beneath a scroll, Jing Yuan takes it and turns around to hand it to the boy. Yanqing bows and murmurs his thanks.
Jing Yuan stays sideways on his seat to look at Yanqing, who averts his gaze. When he turns back to his work, he says, “The woman you met was my master.”
So much to ask of a child (Rewritten for flow)
But all they can do is place their hopes in their children.
That Qingni’s passion, so much like that of both her mothers yet still belonging all to herself, be able to transcend the fate of the previous generation.
chapter 13: prison break
Smash cut (Rewritten as I already did this during chapter 8/needed to add the details in between the cut)
Moreover, Huaiyan has recently adopted a granddaughter around Yanqing’s age, also said to be a lover of swords. Jing Yuan perks up at the thought. Maybe this suspected of treason situation isn’t so bad if Yanqing gets a friend out of it. Given their similar backgrounds, they will surely get along.
—
Yanqing and Yunli are not getting along.
Jing Yuan, have you ever considered that Yanqing has inherited his self-worth issues from you? (Removed for flow)
Neither of them speaks a word.
Yanqing deserves more than silence. He’s always deserved more than Jing Yuan has been able to give.
End (Rewritten for flow/decided the title drop to be unnecessary)
Tomorrow, when the light drips through the shutters like the dew, they will be there, panoplied in sunrise.
They were almost like twins, knowing each other's thoughts and intentions without a word. Irreparable damage has not yet been done. Yes, of course. "Home" is wherever we are together. Home… But I haven't been back there in a long time. Since that day, they have gone their separate ways. I understand the anguish of being separated from family.
I always believed we would see each other again. After a lengthy orbital period, today their paths shall intertwine once more. There’s still hope for you to reconcile. Let's go home! This was the moment that their paths intertwined — one a noble, tumbling from the light into the Abyss, the other a humble existence, climbing upward from the darkness. Initially intending only to save his older brother… I've finally found you! Let's get out of here, it's too dangerous! You can tell me all this later. Stop saying things that don't make sense!
He had anticipated his brother’s anger. The future must atone for bygone mistakes, as the bond familiar falters and breaks. Perhaps we're fated to be doomed together. They drew their blades, this time pointing them at each other. There's just one thing I have to ask, one thing I could never understand... Why... Why can't we continue our journey together? And for that, they shall never have my forgiveness.
I wonder what he would think if he were to see me now. Somehow, I doubt he'd share the same view as he did back then. I don't even know how to face myself sometimes... let alone my own brother. Were that not the case... I'd love to hug you too. At the very least, I hope I can make her happy when I'm around. But in my experience, family issues can be the toughest to resolve.
A sea of blossoms awaits the return of a single flower, anticipating the day when both hearts and petals shall become soft and tender.
Got a comment on this that made me realize other people might not be able to recognize all these lines from in-game at a glance. Some people's tragic siblings brainrot has not reached quite the same stage of all-consuming that mine has. To that end, for anyone interested, here are all the lines I used!
Chapter IV: Act VI – Bedtime Story; Memories That Should Not Exist
Do you believe your sibling to have betrayed you?
There’s still hope for you to reconcile. Irreparable damage has not yet been done.
And for that, they shall never have my forgiveness.
Kaeya, Character Story V
They were almost like twins, knowing each other's thoughts and intentions without a word,
Chapter I: Act IV – We Will Be Reunited; A Soul Set Apart
Home… Yes, of course. “Home” is is wherever we are together.
Let's go home!
I've finally found you! Let's get out of here, it's too dangerous! You can tell me all this later. Stop saying things that don't make sense!
Of Ballads and Brews: Act II – Bonds of Melody
But I haven't been back there in a long time.
Kaeya, Vision
Since that day, [Kaeya and Diluc] have gone their separate ways.
He had anticipated [Diluc]’s anger.
[The brothers] drew their blades, this time pointing them at each other.
Prologue: Act I – The Outlander Who Caught the Wind; Dragon Storm
I understand the anguish of being separated from family.
Grus Serena: Act I – A Thousand Moonlit Miles; Lovely Dreams
I always believed we would see each other again.
Achievement: Orbits
After a lengthy orbital period, today their paths shall intertwine once more.
Wings of Fate’s Course Intertwined
This was the moment that their paths intertwined — one a noble, tumbling from the light into the Abyss, the other a humble existence, climbing upward from the darkness.
Initially intending only to save his older brother…
Dainsleif, Official Introduction
The future must atone for bygone mistakes, as the bond familiar falters and breaks.
Midsummer Island Adventure: Part III – Dodo-King of the Sea: Lying in Wait
Perhaps we're fated to be doomed together.
At the very least, I hope I can make her happy when I'm around.
Chapter IV: Act VI – Bedtime Story; World-Order Narration
There's just one thing I have to ask, one thing I could never understand... Why... Why can't we continue our journey together?
I don't even know how to face myself sometimes... let alone my own brother.
Were that not the case... I'd love to hug you too.
Of Ballads and Brews: Act III – Aroma of the Past
I wonder what he would think if he were to see me now. Somehow, I doubt he'd share the same view as he did back then.
Secret Summer Paradise: Part I – An Invitation From Afar!; Zip Along (According to Safe Cart Operating Procedures)
But in my experience, family issues can be the toughest to resolve.
Achievement: Endpoint
A sea of blossoms awaits the return of a single flower, anticipating the day when both hearts and petals shall become soft and tender.
