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Stalker (1979)

Hey...Do you do drugs?

As the late Mitch Headberg once said, “I used to do drugs. I mean I still do, but I used to too.”

I smoke cigarettes and chase it down with endless caffeine and a fistful of vitamins and a regiment of prescribed anti-depressants now; a far cry from my wild and risky youth. That being said, those are still drugs, so sure, technically?

what are your thoughts n opinions on the covid19?

Although I don’t see it necessarily growing to the proportions of the 1918 Pandemic, that doesn’t take away from the gravity of the situation. It can still turn into a truly devestating pandemic if we don’t take it seriously. I don’t see this virus just going away, it’ll be hanging around for some time. I am worried about economic impact this is having as well. No, I don’t think we should be jumping the gun to start opening up our states so hastily- otherwise, we’ll leave ourselves wide open for a chance of another massive outbreak. Yes, this situation was decimating the economy and forcing millions into unemployment, but if we move too fast in opening up and getting workers back out there while this virus continues to spread (and evolve rapidly as they do) then we’ll probably end up with an even worse national debt and flatlining economy, probably worse then what we have now. And it’ll happen al because we wanted to see a boost to our economy? The world is as unstable as it can possibly be, for the first time in about a century. And we can prevent ourselves from repeating history. It’s pretty much that easy. Or maybe that’s the problem with humans, we emulate and repeat things like history, forever doomed to learn nothing from the past and instead merely repeat the usual failing motions like an insane person, hoping for a different outcome.

what should i do... turns out, someone I cared about never really knew me like I and they thought. it hurts.

Interesting question! Ok so, the situation is basically:

1. You care for someone

2. They never knew the real you. More specifically though, you and they both thought they knew you, but you’ve found out that they’re wrong.

3. And this hurts.

So there’s some good news and bad news. I’ll start with good news. There’s most likely a chance to talk this out, like reconcile/fresh start/go your separate ways; point is you got options and the world is your oyster.

The bad news though, and I’ll assume both parties made this exact same mistake. So, what I mean is, they assumed that they knew you. But you also assumed they, in fact know you as well. So I guess the question becomes, are they simply unaware of what it means when they say they know you (ie: they sound like a guy, but like the stereotype) . Or, or, maybe, you are not as open about yourself as you think you are. Maybe you’re very private about yourself, maybe dropping subtle hints here and there, expecting this whoever to be focused on you and your quirks and likes and dislikes and whatever like Sherlock Holmes. We men can be incredibly smart and equally totally unaware of their surroundings. So if it’s a worthwhile friend or maybe just a misunderstanding or an over reaction, I say talk it out. If you’ve been straight up, maybe even just brutally honest, then whatever, they don’t sound like someone worth your time. But either way, it’s ultimately up to you if this can be worked passed or not, so good luck, and sorry for the late response? Yeah that.

Can’t tell if you seem like a very good time, or a bad time..

I guess that’s matter of opinion. I’ve been everything between life of the party to literally the guy passed out on the couch before the fun even starts. But, well, let’s put it this way: I can barely stand myself, I can’t imagine anyone finding that tolerable.

Top 5 video games?

That’s tough. Haven’t owned a console or PC that can handle the graphics in like half a decade or more. Having said that though, I’m very impartial to open world style games, like Fallout 3 or Skyrim (remember when elder scrolls 3 Morrowind came out? I played the shut out of that). Oh and I’ve never been particularly excited for a call of duty game but the first 8 or so Zombie maps way back starting with World at War (I think?) were some of the best times I had. But the only games I’ve really been missing are from the Persona series, 4 was one of my favorites, and 5 was pretty unforgettable. I’ll tack on two more here, honorable mentions, The Last of Us and Life is Strange. I’ll never forget those.

Cat person or dog person

I have nothing against dogs, I loved my dads dogs, they were a great part of the family. But- yes, there’s always a caveat, those dogs were an exception to the rule; I’d choose cats every time. I’ve had cats around as long as I can remember. I had my own cat. We grew up together. I think it was late elementary school, maybe middle school when I got him. He was the only animal I can think of that I truly had an attachment to. But as with everything else in this world, I had to euthanize him when he got sick, like maybe a day or two of suffering before dying, that kind of sick. I held him the entire time as the vet gave him the sedatives or whatever and felt every little change, the muscles relaxed, the dead weight, as the breathing grew shallower and shallower until it finally just faded away. So I guess technically, I’m neither a cat or dog person. Because I just can’t bring myself to commit and probably/inevitably go through that again.

Dropped off the face of the earth? (Regarding your message to other anon) I’m curious on this story.

I promise it’s not as dramatic or interesting as it sounds. And although I’ve been tearing through a back log of messages, some obviously from one or maybe more anons that I’m sure I know IRL, although I admit I can’t think of anyone that would go through all this trouble to I dunno, type angrily at me anonymously. But whatever, that’s not important right now. You want to know something about me, well I will tell you, hell I’ll tell you whatever you want to know- if you drop the anonymity. 😉

fav bands/artists?

That’s a rough one. It’s hard to choose just a few. Certain artists and/or songs that I listen to frequently are songs that remind me of something, or invoke a certain emotion, or that I relate to (sometimes a little too much). There’s even a few instrumental post rock bands that I’ll find myself listening to mostly so it feels like I have a soundtrack playing throughout my everyday life. But then I’ll do something way out of character like listen to the Pitch Perfect soundtracks because- god dammit it’s so fucking catchy. (・_・)

Taken?

Sorry, but yes, I am. Very much so;

٩꒰ ˘ ³˘꒱۶~♡ @tentacles-and-stardust

How goes it? Life good? Happy?

Yeah sure, overall, it’s good. Nothing much to complain about. But that may just be the antidepressants talking.

what’s up that other anons ass?

I have no idea. I’m sure that throughout my life I may have left a couple- a lot of bridges in disrepair. I was also on a path straight toward rock bottom. So, at the time, it felt like the lesser of two evils going it alone rather than dragging anyone down with me. If they’d reach out from behind the safety and comfort that comes with anonymity, maybe we could handle this, with our words, maybe mend up what we had or at least so I can give them some closer or piece of mind, or just give them someone to take their frustrations out on if that’s what they need but until they actually reach out, I promise that it’s not that I don’t care, i just can’t. C’est la vie.

what color is your aura in your opinion

Like from the pseudoscientific field of auraology? Ok sorry, I am cursed with a tongue that only knows criticism and cynicism. But sure, I’ll play along. But I’m not going to just hand the information over. You’re going to have to waste the 30 seconds to google it and read its name and description and how or where it applies on your auraology guide. So the color is:

#4a412a

I think it describes me quite accurately. Oh and did I forget to mention that I love screwing with people? (〜￣▽￣)〜〜(￣▽￣〜)

#auraology #schadeenfreude #curious anons #hex code #bad jokes

anyone you wish you could make amends with?

Oh I’m sure there’s more than one out there. But when it comes to depression, addiction, and poor lifestyle choices, you end up with a hazy sense of self and general disregard for the others around you as you desperately try to find that next high to fill that void that endlessly deals like a vacuum or black hole or whatever. My point is my memories are fragmented or corrupted like a file or harddrive, being as your entire attention is on seaching for that next high or being high in of itself, so yes. To answer your question, there’s probably a bunch, and maybe a few from that that I’d wish I could. But my memory is only recently getting better and the last is a blurried patchwork of small moments lacking context. And being that I sort of dropped off the face of the earth for a few years there, I can’t tell who all needs an olive branch and apology, and who has simply moved on with their life and naturally fell out of contact. So I dunno anon, you know anyone that needs some amending? Because I’m not going to know who I can even try to make amends with until they’ve told me how I offended or hurt or pushed them away until they confront me about it.

melisica

“Well, then why should we do anything more than once? Should I just smoke this one cigarette? Maybe we should only have sex once, if it’s the same thing. Should we just watch one sunset? Or live just one day? It’s new every time, each time is a different experience.”

just-shower-thoughts

Condoms save lives by not creating it in the first place

zarholrico

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