SIX OF CROWS

my love for inej ghafa is approximately 30 million kruge

[ketterdamroofs]

3 reasons to love kaz

he knows inej ghafa

he schemes with inej ghafa

he’s in love with inej ghafa

30 million kruge

[ketterdamroofs]

Do you have a favorite seen in either Six of Crows or Crooked Kingdom?

yes! so many!!! but here’s just a few:

in soc, my fav scene is probably the moment kaz sees my gal inej riding in the tank after he almost drowned (and he’s like heck yeah that’s my girl). and when inej is climbing up the incinerator & basically goes through this huge self-realization i’m in LOVE WITH INEJ GHAFA.

in ck, i think my fav scene is probably when kaz & inej run into per haskell & inej just disappears bc she’s Stealth Master™.

i think i’m just overly obsessed with the goddess that is inej ghafa. what’s your favorite scenes?

[ketterdamroofs]

the dregs at a concert

kaz: why is it so goddamn loud

jesper: it’s a concert, kaz

nina: stfu 1D’s coming on

wylan:

wylan: nina,, we’re seeing the 1975

jesper: where’s inej

matthias: the opera is beginning any moment now

kaz: wait i think i see her

nina: whAt wheRE

matthias:

matthias: i believe she is, ahem, doing what the young ones call “people diving”

jesper: it’s called crowd surfing

kuwei: in my country we call it crab catching

inej, being carried straight to the stage: bye bitchez

[dunyashas]

six of crows + wolfpupy tweets (1/∞)

[ketterdamroofs]

the dregs stuck in an elevator

jesper: kaz get us out of this elevator

matthias, very calmly: *presses the call button* excuse me, we are stuck in an elevator somewhere between the 5th and 6th floor. would you be able to send someone to retrieve us?

elevator operator: no

matthias, extremely offended: excUse me?

nina, very seriously: matty, they’re really busy at this time of day

matthias: i apologize

kaz:

jesper: scheming face?

inej: no he’s just yawning, jesper

wylan: if i can somehow pry open the doors with a lead pipe, i think we can escape

kaz: where the hell do you think you’re going to find a lead pipe

inej: let’s just wait it out, someone has to come eventually

nina: i want waffles

jesper: me too

jesper: *drags his hand down all the buttons* well i tried

wylan: i think i found a lead pipe

kuwei, head sticking out of a hole from above: wait, we’re stuck in an elevator?

[pinsfee]

jesper fahey wrote this review

[ketterdamroofs]

the dregs & their bedtimes

kaz: 5am. and then promptly wakes up at 5:30am

inej: sleeP? whAt’s thAt??

jesper: 69:69

nina: 11:45pm - after a good cup of tea ofc. ((but then she hates herself bc the caffeine ruins any chance of falling asleep quickly))

wylan: 9pm

matthias: 7:30pm. he eats dinner at 5 because it’s bad for digestion if you sleep right after you eat duh

kuwei: sleeps from 12pm - 1am. 1:01am - 11:59am: unknown.

[ketterdamroofs]

jolly dregs

a week before christmas:

kaz: if u touch me u die

nina: aW cMON

kaz: *asleep, a couple hours later*

nina:

nina, whispering: merry kazmas *puts a santa hat on kaz’s head*

inej: someone tell me how he didnt wake up

jesper: the truth is,,, kaz is a deep sleeper

matthias, looking up from his newpaper and sets down coffee: that’s a lie. and you’re all horrible.

wylan: i’m making eggnog does anyone want some?

kuwei: even the shu know eggnog is the antichrist

jesper: i’ll have some ;;)))

inej: pls don’t do that

nina: guys he’s waking up

jesper: HIDE

kaz:

kaz: what the hell

nina: it wasn’t me

inej: u do realize that means it was u right

kaz: gtfo everyone

kaz: except u inej

kaz: look,, there’s a mistletoe above us i guess,,, a total coincidence,,,,

jesper: wylan this eggnog is the antichrist

[unclecassian]

Roses are red

I will forever be mad

That Colm Fahey

Isn’t my dad

[ketterdamroofs]

the crows as babysitters

kaz: would turn on the tv and let the kids entertain themselves bc he ain’t got time for that. he’s gotta plan a Heist™

inej: she would play hide and seek with them. but her hiding spot would be way too good and the kid would end up crying bc she literally disappeared off the face of the earth

jesper: he would have a nerf gun fight with them - but somehow would accidentally teach the kid how to shoot a real gun. 911 is definitely called

nina: would feed the kid waffles into oblivion. that’s literally all that would happen

matthias: the kid would try and play with him but he would have no idea what language to use. “can we pway go fish?” “no we can’t go fishing are you craZy?!”

wylan: would probably be the best babysitter. he would conduct lessons on chemistry and physics, while also making it fun bc he’s a Smart Ass™

jolly dregs

[ketterdamroofs]

post six of crows

six of crows has actually ruined me in that i can’t read any other book without comparing it to soc. and then i’m utterly disappointed when Generic Book™ doesn’t have an angsty kaz brekker or the miracle that is inej ghafa or a 11/10 heist premise that is amazingly thorough or moments that remind you theyre still kids AND heartbreaking backstories and not to mention just flawless character development and iconic neck kisses and jesper fahey

[ketterdamroofs]

the crows as stranger things characters

because i just finished season 2:

kaz: eight/kali. they have a plan, and no sane person is gonna get in their way. 100% business, has feelings but usually denies them. is angry and wants vengeance.

inej: eleven. a beautiful soul that is trying to find herself and her purpose in the world. 10/10 would kill you if you cross her friends.

nina: dustin. would befriend a demogorgon and feed it three musketeers.

matthias: steve. the dad of the group and is fiercely loyal. is brave and underappreciated and is just beautiful in all ways (but mostly because they both adopt 5 kids)

jesper: nancy. in denial about a lot of things, but is extremely loyal and smart. kind, but also will not hesitate to beat you up if you mess with someone they care about.

wylan: will. SO STRONG. and smart. and wonderful. and too good for this world. has suffered too much to still be this pure.

kuwei: “if i were you, i would cut the bullshit and share the damn bed.”

[gloriousbabink]

soc parody to the tune of tswizzles lwymmd

Six crows took over my life

With guns and canes and knives

They are such pretty sights

So diverse, yes, they are babinks

Kaz he’s leader of the dregs

He should just kiss Inej

His gloves are from Costco

Poor Jordie, yes, his brother’s dead

Yeah they get smarter, they get harder to bring down the gangs

Dirtyhands babink sharp shooter, heartrender and the Wraith (and wylan!)

They’ve got a list of names and you’re probaly on that list

They are more cool, than court of fury and mist, oh!

[Chorus]

Ooh, what if the crows had joost

what if the crows had joost

their problems would disappear ‘cause everyone needs more joost

what if the crows had joost

what if the crows had joost

I’d like the book ten times more

(how!) than I already do

Inej is the Queen of Ket

Terdam and she’s a threat

She’s Kaz’s ultimate weak spot,

She has wings, and you can’t spot (her!)

Then there’s Nina, Matthias bae, Matthias cray cray, cray cray

And Jesp and Wy, Jesp and Wy, and irrelevant Kuwei wei

So Van Eck and Pekka and Haskell watch out

They got the ice court and they want kruge now

Yeah they got smarter, they got harder to rule all the gangs

Dirtyhands babink sharp shooter, heartrender and the Wraith (and wylan!)

They’ve got a list of names and you’re probaly on that list

They are more cool, than court of fury and mist, oh!

[Chorus]

Kaz just breaks my heart because he won’t kiss Inej

And Inej slays me because she is Inej

Jesper has addictions but I love him to death

Nina took jurda which is basically meth

Matthias is the blonde brute who never says yes

Wylan is me because his life is a mess

I’m like them when I read SOC 'cause I am a wreck

A wreck when Kaz gives kisses on INEJ’s NECK

(What if the crows had Joost)

(What if the crows had Joost)

“I’m sorry, Matthias can’t come to the phone right now”

“Why?”

“Oh, 'cause he’s -”

[Chorus]

[gloriousbabink]

when kaz has a master plan and it’s perfect and flawless but then jan van eck is 1 step ahead of kaz, but then kaz is 2 steps ahead of van eck, but then van eck is 10 steps ahead of kaz, but then kaz is 3208 steps ahead of van eck

[ketterdamroofs]

i love this and you

[hoforcrows]

The dregs as even more troubled birds

Kaz

Inej

Matthias

Nina

Wylan

Jesper

Bonus: Kuwei

Bonus: Kaz after Inej got hurt

[galangrants-deactivated20210301]

so this post made me think about a modern au crow crew groupchat and i Need to talk about it:

nina changes her display name to a different string of emojis depending on her mood. kaz has been just “dirtyhands” for months. wylan’s display name was “Wylan Van Eck” at first but everyone made fun of him for it until he changed it to “fuck you all” and the bomb emoji

jesper and nina are the Meme Team. sometimes matthias sends memes to nina as a method of flirting. he doesn’t know what’s happened to him

NINA IS AN APPLE-ONLY GIRL AND MATTHIAS IS HARDCORE ANDROID AND THEY FIGHT ABOUT IT

inej settles all the dumb arguments that invariably pop up (see: above). she also has private chats with all five of the others and nobody knows how she can keep up with all of these conversations simultaneously

kaz takes screenshots constantly. of totally innocuous conversations. just in case

wylan and jesper always end up heavily flirting in the groupchat. wylan’s sorry about it. jesper Isn’t.

kaz: could you two take that to a private chat

jesper: im just trying to educate u brekker. i’ve talked to inej, ur game needs all the help it can get

(inej just replies with a smiley face emoji)

everyone’ll be gossiping about someone they hate and then somehow it turns into trying to figure out the best way to kill them and wylan can never figure out whether or not they’re joking

“im so hungryyy” “nina we got lunch like an hour ago” “a WHOLE HOUR, inej!!!!!” “…..do you want to go for waffles?” “YES”

kaz fell for a rickroll once and ever since then he carefully examines every single link anyone sends him because he refuses to be taken in again

matthias, every night: “guys it’s 3am please go the fuck to sleep. my phone won’t stop buzzing and also i’m worried about your sleep schedules”

the point is, they’re all nerds and i love them

[nathanielwesninski]

six of memes

introducing ‘what the wylan van heck’ and ‘kuwei yul-no’

kaz brekker, suffering single father of 6 children

wylan: did you know dihydrogen monoxide has infiltrated our water systems?

matthias, very seriously: we must inform the authorities at once

‘ketterdaMN IT’

it’s rap battle night in the crow club but half the people turned up for slam poetry

nina, swirling juice in a wine glass: 'ah yes, the bourgeoisie’.

kaz: wylan is annoying

someone: yeah he sure is

kaz, cane swinging: what the fUCK DID U JUST SAY

jesper: my love…go on,,,without me,,i am fallen…this is the end

wylan: jes, it’s just a papercut chill

jesper, gasping: how could you be so cruel??? on my deATHBED

kaz: i think i’m sick. whenever i look at inej my heart beats faster and i sweat and my stomach feels weird.

nina: kaz, those are called feelings

kaz:

kaz: well is there a cure or what

wylan: hey kuwei what did u get for question 5

kuwei: the fleeting nature of life…the changeability of the tide…the great mistress, time, who beholds the lives of all

wylan:

wylan: it was a maths quiz

matthias: the wildlife here is so strange. why is that penguin in a tree? 

nina: matthias, that’s a squirrel.

matthias: see you in hell

nina: uh are u asking me on a date because i accept

kaz: ok kaz u can do this. ur smooth. ur cool.

inej: hey kaz

kaz: you have a face

kaz: nailed it

someone: this person is being mean to me

inej: stab them

jesper: wears lime green and yellow pants

nina, tearing up: please god just let me die 

someone: hey inej can I have some advice

inej: a knife

someone: better advice

inej: two knives

dregs: *do something illegal*

matthias: but that’s illegal

dregs:

dregs: matthias

matthias: kaz i have feelings for you

kaz: um

matthias: feelings of hate