Xylophobic Fav @khlosheckthegreat - Tumblr Blog

hour 1 of shift: i love helping people and making people happy yay yay yay later today i am gonna go home and have fun and eat a tasty meal and work on my projects and

hour 6: if youu go to the store and buy groceriers you are a piece of shit

hour 8: if i wad 1 apples tall i could live off of one apple for a week... oh but it would rot away... no.... i hate the rot i hate the apple

hot-cicada-milf-summer

There better not be beasts all over the shop when I get there

kiwisodaz

Pepsi dog

alexmey-does-an-arts

MY STUPID FUCKING CAT WONT STOP TRYING TO TOUCH THE BEEHIVE

nicostiel

the trouble is, you think you have time.

GONCHAROV (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese

the-actual-ocean

The Entirety of Tumblr from Tumblr has been Chucked in to the ocean! You're all wet now.

goldenretriever-boyfriend

spiffiesttea

there is a beast of some sorts in my askbox

wheeloffortune-design

my publisher: Good morning! Huh did you advertise for the pre-sale yesterday? Because we launched twelve hours ago and we already made sales!

me: yeah, i posted on tumblr

publisher: .........tumblr?

me: that's where the gays are.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western)

wheeloffortune-design

update

publisher: And what is your marketing strategy on... tumblr?

me: idk, i shitpost at 2am?

publisher: .....and it works?

me: depends on what the gays find funny at that point in time.

publisher: Could I have a link to your tumblr?

me: .......absolutely not.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western where 50 year old women kiss and murder)

wheeloffortune-design

update!

publisher: I've been looking into tumblr, have you thought of using Blaze to promote your book?

me: NO

publisher: But it seems like an efficient way to get this in front of more eyes-

me: people on tumblr hate Blaze.

publisher: There is no algorithm and you can't pay to promote a post? I don't understand how anyone advertises anything on tumblr.

me: That's the best part. They don't. They can't.

(trying to make him understand that we do not control the attention. We just have to show something shiny and gay enough and if people are interested, they'll reblog.)

(Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a deconstruction of the colonialist cowboy mythos dressed up as a sapphic romance.)

freegiftjones

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

chicknparm

cryptotheism

Cafe at The Portland art museum has Rothko no. 5 cakes. Something intellectually meaty about seeing the painting in person, and then eating a cake copy. The complete experience. Full spectrum.