“they say if you get hungry enough, you start eating your own heart.” cecily mutters, bleary-eyed, bed-headed, crumpled like a flightless bird. the bed’s an unfamiliar territory, light peaking through the blinds, hair scattered about her head in a peroxide halo. remnants of the hawkins hell fest linger in her bloodstream, still – white lines and half-frantic fever. “maybe i’ll eat yours, too.”
kieran’s eyes furrowed at the other. “probably not.” he let out, turning his head to face the other. “pillow talk isn’t my thing.” he continued, sitting up in the bed, his shirtless chest on show. “what even makes you think of something like that?” he shook his head, eyebrows furrowed once more. it was a topic that he had never spoke about and obviously never thought he would.
kat watched as the male’s face changed to something softer, a hint of remorse for his harshness. she wondered what had incited such a defensive initial reaction. perhaps he’s previously had a poor experience at the bar, or maybe he just had a shitty day? she wondered privately. either way, she didn’t take too much insult to his prickly disposition, which had now changed into something different, what seemed like stress became scribbled onto his features. at his question, kat smiled unsurely, a brow quirking up. “i mean, that is what one does at a bar. besides judge the other patrons quietly behind said drink,” she joked, adjusting her bag onto her shoulder. “need some company? or would you rather be left alone?” she asked, her head tilting to the side with the question as she stepped backwards towards the bar, pressing her back against the door to swing it open a bit.
kieran let out a sigh, glancing up at the bar once more before nodding. “some company would be nice.” he nodded, forcing a toothless smile. the male walked to the door, pushing it open more for kat to walk in. after she walked in, he followed. his hands fell into his pockets as he repeatedly told himself to only order a non-alcoholic beverage. even if he was overly stressed about his secret being revealed. kieran didn’t want to lose his progress. kieran found a barstool that he positioned himself on. turning to the girl, he spoke. “what brings you here?” his elbow rest against the bar. “other than the obvious reasons one would be here.” he tried to make conversation to distract himself. his palms were beginning to get sweaty and a headache was starting to take place. it was the withdrawal and kieran was well aware. normally, he’d suppress the symptoms with advil or another headache medicine, but the cure was just inches away from him. the bartender finally came up to the two and asked for their drink orders. “water.” kieran replied, not even attempting to look over at the array of beverages on the wall.
kat liked sketchy dive bars at night. she wasn’t sure what the allure surrounding it was, but she throughly enjoyed the dull neon signs, the worn down pool tables, the vinyl seats with tears in them. it presented an opportunity, to have heart-to-hearts with drunken strangers, who wouldn’t be able to piece together her face by morning time. to pull out the darkness from her chest, and show it to another human being without fear. it was show-and-tell, featuring gulps of vodka. she felt transparently herself in this gritty, shitty environment. she needed this sort of solace tonight, after all the craziness that had rained down on her as of late given the exposures. before stepping into the bar she had pulled out her phone, in order to reply to an email sent my a professor. something menial, a rescheduling on an interview. in a hurry, she edited the short letter and sent it out. whilst shoving her phone in her pocket, she heard the agitated voice of a male, who apparently was speaking to her. “uh, i’d say about three minutes?” she responded, confusion laced within her voice. “was sending out an email. i reckon i was fairly quick about it, but have i hit some sort of time limit?” she asked jokingly, a brow quirking up.
when kieran realized he snapped, his voice became less stern and more apologetic. “sorry.” he let out. “i was just--forget it.” he didn’t feel the need to explain himself since the other hadn’t been there for long, also he didn’t think he owed her an explanation--or anyone. “no, you didn’t.” he couldn’t find any words, just simple answers to her questions. his mind was running a million miles per second and he was sure anyone who saw him could tell he was having an internal struggle. kieran placed his hand over his forehead, moving it down his face and over his mouth. “were you planning on having a drink?” he let out without thinking. what could it hurt? just one or maybe even just a water. maybe actually going in would suppress the withdrawal.
“Wild, right?” Fur fringed, Penny Lane inspired coat worn snug on her slim frame and heart-shaped glasses perched quaintly atop a button nose, Lana sat cross legged on the sofa of the dormitory common room, manila envelope in her lap torn open. On top of it, rested a glossy A4 of what could only politely be described as an artistic penile portrait. “Someone slipped it under the door of this guy I’ve been fucking with my name on it. I don’t even get the aim, though. Like, herrow? Is this meant to be the Scooby snack and I’m the Great Dane? Super weird technique. I think he even tried to blow it up to scale. A niche gift but I guess I, like… appreciate the effort. And he left his number, too. A dong and a set of digits. Forget Noah Calhoun, that’s romance.”
The male’s eyebrows furrowed at the photo that was being shown to him. He couldn’t help, but to let out a laugh. “You think that’s to scale?” Kieran shook his head. “Looks like the dude wanted to make it look bigger than what it is.” Kieran took the photo from the other and held it at an arms length, examining it. His lips pursed. “Yeah, I wouldn’t call the number. You wouldn’t be calling for a good time with this guy.” Kieran handed the picture back, his tongue clicking. “You’d be better off burning this.”
kieran had made progress. it wasn’t until the reason he took off the year before came out that he wanted to reverse and loose every bit of the progress. he had found himself walking aimlessly in order to interrupt his thoughts. though this time, his walk had left him outside one of the bars close to ashby. he stood with his hands in his jacket pockets, staring up at the building. there something trying to pull him into the building and to the barstool. the same one he’d sat in previous years. the only thing that was holding him back was the fear of becoming his father. kieran was old enough to remember all the things he had done and he didn’t want that for himself. the male let out a sigh as he kicked a rock that was by his foot. it wasn’t until he look back up from the ground that he noticed someone was with him. “how long have you been there?” he snapped. kieran himself had probably been standing in front of the bar for twenty minutes.
Celia stood awkwardly in line as she waited for her name to be called, her body already craving another cup of coffee, perhaps she needed to lay off the caffeine slightly? Wasn’t that her right as a college student though? To be 10% water and 90% coffee? Glancing up when she heard her name albeit mispronounced as Cecilia, she tried her best to maneuver her way to the front. “Hi, yes,” she said, tapping someone awkwardly on the shoulder as they blocked her way to the front. “I kind of need to squeeze past you.” She stated coolly, nodding towards the front of the line where the barista was impatiently waiting for her.
while in rehab, one of the things they preached about was focusing the want of alcohol on something else. kieran’s new focus? coffee. though, it was not remotely similar to the bottle, it seemed to work for a few minutes. his arms were crossed as he waited in line for his name to be called. while waiting, he heard a familiar name being called, followed by a tap on his shoulder. turning, his lips immediately upturned into a smirk. “fancy seeing you here.” his eyebrow raised. kieran moved out of celia’s way, his hands motioning in front of him to let her pass.
jess couldn’t believe it. she didn’t want to believe it. not because she thought any differently of her brother after seeing his name upon the list of exposed secrets, but because she didn’t want to believe that he hadn’t told her what he had been going through. all those months she’d been living in LA in her element, he’d been in rehab. when he’d needed her the most, she hadn’t been there. it made her feel sick to her stomach. after all the times he’d looked after her, she couldn’t be there for the one time he’d needed her.
she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hug him and never let go or hit him.
though after the number of dodged calls and texts made after she’d found out the truth, jess was highly considering the latter of the two. how hard was it to send her a quick text? talk later. i’m alright, i just need a moment. it’s all she wanted to stop herself from imagining the worst.
fingers tightened around her phone as eyes studied the constant stream of people exiting out of what she thought was kieran’s recently ended class. she was sick of sitting around with only unanswered texts and waiting for him. if he wasn’t going to come to her, she was going to go to him and there was really nothing like a determined jessica. as eyes caught on a familiar mop of hair, jessica made a b-line for the figure. fingers tightened around a solid upper arm and though it was far harder than she expected, she managed to drag him backwards into the classroom once more.
closing the door with her foot, jessica’s grip on him slackened as she lent against the door and allowed arms to cross over her chest tightly. there was a moment of pause before her voice broke through the quiet room. “remember me? or do you need a little refresher since it’s been so long.”
kieran felt bad for ignoring his sister for the time he had, but it was to protect her and himself. he wasn’t ready to talk about it, hence why he never told anyone, but ella. now he thought maybe he shouldn’t have even told her, but he had to tell her why their relationship had ended. kieran didn’t want to burden his sister because he didn’t want or need her to worry about him. it was his job to worry about her.
though, he had plenty of questions for his sister, he knew that if he were to see her, he’d be the one answering questions. kieran hadn’t been able to concentrate in his classes, lately. he felt as if everyone was staring at him, waiting for him to crack. kieran thought he was over the need for alcohol, but with the current events, it was all he could think of. just one he thought. it wouldn’t hurt anyone.
finally, his 3D animation class was coming to an end. kieran packed his things and started to leave the room, only to be pulled back in abruptly. his eyebrows furrowed. “what the--” he stopped himself when he saw that it was his sister. kieran looked down at her hand gripped his arm. she had a tight grip, but nothing that could hurt him, it almost mad him want to laugh. “oh, come on.” he let out, his hand fell upon the strap of his backpack as he pulled it more onto his shoulder. thousands of thoughts ran through his mind, but he knew it was better if he let her talk first. letting out a defeated sigh, he spoke. “i’ll tell you all you want to know.” he started. “but not here.” as much as he wanted to deal with it on his own, he had no choice at this point. maybe it’s what he needed for once, help.
DAMN! Doesn’t take a psychic to know that KIERAN O'NIELL looks a hell of a lot like DOUGLAS BOOTH. The MALE is known to be rather STOIC, RETICENT & COMPASSIONATE from what I hear. HE is studying COMPUTER ANIMATION/MINOR IN PHOTOGRAPHY and they're about 23, which must make them a SENIOR. It’s a shame KIER is now has the fact that HE TOOK A YEAR OFF TO GO TO REHAB FOR ALCOHOLISM exposed.( ooc lynds | 20 | est | she/her )
hello its me lyndsay back at it again with the white vans. heres kieran a new musee
TW: ABUSE & ALCOHOLISM
kieran is the older brother to jessica o’niell.
life was pretty great for kieran and his family. it was full of love and happiness for the first few years of his life.
he didn’t need material things to keep him happy, as long as he had his family around
when kieran was 13, his father turned to alcohol. kieran wasn’t sure what caused him to rely on the bottle, but he was sure it had to do with all the pressure he had put on himself.
when things went bad, kieran made sure to look out for his little sister at all costs. he wanted to shield her from it all the best he could.
though, he found it stupid at the time, the best way of a distraction for her was him to draw cartoons.
kieran picked up as many jobs as he could have handled at the time to try and fill the void of their father. he had to keep up with the bills because he didn’t want his family to suffer. he tried his very best to keep things how they were before.
the night their father left, kieran was glad that jess wasn’t home bc it was messy. their father got very drunk that night and started yelling, like normal. but this time he started to hit their mother. kieran had enough and started to fight his father. after he got his anger out, kieran called the cops and told him to never come back.
kieran wants to keep that information away from jess as long as he can.
though, it seemed everything was back to normal after that, kieran was struggling internally with the pressure of keeping everyone happy and safe.
he then started to relate to his father. which he hated. he kept this feeling to himself, though. it was always better that way. he needed to help his sister and mother, they didn’t need to help him.
kieran never shared his feeling or emotions and never once complained about the situation he was in or showed that it bothered him
but it caught up with him. like his father, kieran turned to the bottle.
he hated himself and he knew he didn’t want to be like his father, but he could sense the difference in himself.
during this time, kieran was actually in a relationship with ella. it was very toxic considering he was dealing with alcoholism. and it didn’t end well. they dated for a year ( would have been ella’s freshman year and kierans junior year.)
he took the next school year. it was the year he was initially supposed to be a senior to go to rehab for his alcoholism.
kieran is majoring in computer animation. his drawing cartoons for his sister became fun after a while and he decided that he wanted to pursue a career out of it.
he minors in photography. its more of a hobby than anything.
wanted connections:
friends: someone he was friends with before he went to rehab and lost ties with, a best friend, friends during parties (cause he’ll be doing a lot of that), a friend that helps him resist the craving (they would know, now that the secret it out).
hookups: he’s a guy, come on. probably hooks up with people so he doesn’t drink. (this boy is a MESS). possibly uses tinder. a one time hookup, fob, you get it.
model: someone kieran can practice his photography on ya know.
exes: angst, messy, everything i want it
and literally anything else
like this post and i’ll message you to plot or just message me (:
