*nod* And you can be critical of Rhaegar without participating in some false Rhaegar vs. Robert dichotomy. Yes, Robert was not exactly a prize. Yes, Robert was a serial cheater even before his marriage, and slept with tons of women during the war he was fighting over his betrothed. Yes, he was dismissive of the murder of innocents. But that has nothing to do with Rhaegar’s own known, textual problems.
Even if you remove the questions of his motivations and actions regarding Lyanna, even if you take away speculations of his thoughts regarding prophecy, Rhaegar still has two huge faults as a character:
through his actions and inactions, he sparked a war that led to the destruction of his family
what he did to his wife Elia.
Re the first: yes, much of the war’s cause, the tension in the the country, can be laid at his father Aerys’ feet. But again, it was what Rhaegar did specifically (be responsible for Lyanna’s disappearance, disappear himself when he was needed), and did not do (remove his father from power, use political strategy or diplomacy), that meant that the rebellion was against all Targaryens and not just Aerys.
Re the second: this is why a lot of fans actively hate Rhaegar and I honestly don’t blame them in the slightest. Even if – and this is a huge if, and probably wishful thinking on my part – Elia was aware of and convinced of the rightness of the prophecies, even if she accepted the “need” for another woman in her husband’s life and had privately worked out an agreement with him on the matter… still. She still faced public humiliation when it appeared her husband, the father of her children, favored another woman over her. She still faced even more public humiliation when her husband disappeared with that woman.
And even after all that, when he finally returned to King’s Landing, Rhaegar could have insisted that Elia and his children be sent to safety at Dragonstone, like his mother and little brother had been. But he did not, whether he agreed with his father that it was necessary to keep her in King’s Landing to assure the Martell loyalties, or whether he preferred not to argue the point. He still took three Kingsguard with him to the Battle of the Trident (including his wife’s uncle), and sent three to protect his (possibly pregnant) lover; but left only one Kingsguard, a 17-year-old boy with possible divided loyalties, to protect his father, his wife, and his children.
So, y'know, if you’re a Rhaegar stan or roleplay him or write him in fic, I think it’s necessary to keep these things in mind. You can’t just use these quotes alone:
“Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly, Rhaegar fought honorably. And Rhaegar died.”
“The dragon prince sang a song so sad it made the wolf maid sniffle”
“When this battle’s done I mean to call a council. Changes will be made. I meant to do it long ago, but … well, it does no good to speak of roads not taken. We shall talk when I return.”
Many a night she had watched Prince Rhaegar in the hall, playing his silver-stringed harp with those long, elegant fingers of his. Had any man ever been so beautiful? He was more than a man, though. His blood was the blood of old Valyria, the blood of dragons and gods. […] Two of her uncles fell before his lance, along with a dozen of her father’s finest jousters, the flower of the west. By night the prince played his silver harp and made her weep. When she had been presented to him, [she] had almost drowned in the depths of his sad purple eyes. He has been wounded, she recalled thinking, but I will mend his hurt when we are wed.
and think that’s all Rhaegar. Because there’s a hell of a lot more to him than that.
