That moment when the Collector tried to apply Luz’s kindness lesson to Belos only to have it backfire tremendously...I couldn’t help but think of Steven Universe’s finale. That shows idea of defeating the space dictators was to cry, hug it out and sass them. I couldn’t help but see it as like a reference to or poking fun at that trope of trying to redeem villains.
Yes, Luz is the kind main character always ready to forgive with boundless empathy and compassion, but she doesn’t extend that to everyone. The Collector deserved to be redeemed, he’s a child, once he realised the error of his ways he course corrected and showed immense remorse, but characters like Belos and Amity’s mother didn’t get that treatment. I really respect the show for doing that.
This show is amazing! What an incredible heartfelt story!
Set during season 3 after witnessing Levi butchering the interior Military Police Squad like it’s just another day at the office. Reader is from another world, they popped into the AoT world and spent some time with Levi in the Underground, then left, then came back.
~~~
Levi finds you sitting in a tree and staring up at the sky with a deep expression. His sigh escapes into the night and he calls out to you, "Oi y/n, Sasha made-"
"How many?"
"Huh?"
"You were slaughtering them all at such a rapid pace, I wonder what was going through your head when you killed them." Your eyes are too focused on the sky, determined to look at nothing on the world below the firmament. Restless hands whisper over loose cotton. "It's strange. I understand why you did it, and I'm grateful that you weren't injured but..."
"Come down."
You turn to look at him, and are surprised at the pained expression on his face. Without hesitation, you jump down from the tree to meet Levi's approach, he pauses after little distance and murmurs, "Why? Does it scare you? Do I scare you?"
"Not really, I've known that you're capable of getting your hands dirty, but...this is the first time I've actually witnessed you kill like...that." You look off to the side.
Levi continues to gauge your expression, sifting between shades of pale moonlight and the lines contradicting your visage. He had worried about the toll this violence would have on your mind. Back in the underground, he'd tried to balance on the line between keeping you looking away from his brutality while not keeping you in the dark about his actions. Actions he took to keep you safe.
Is your world as cruel as this? Do you wish you'd never come back? He has to know what you're thinking, "Do you wish you were back home?"
A shallow smile, hollowed out by sadness. "No, but I won't lie and say that I'm not a little homesick."
"You should've told me and I would've put you back in Hange's squad-"
You shake your head. "No, I would've said as much if I didn't want to do this. It was my choice."
Levi tucks a few stray strands behind your ear. "I'm sorry y/n."
I don't get it. Jisoo is an actress, why is her MV shot like Rose's and Jennie's? There are roses everywhere, Jisoo is doing arm centric dances in european style rooms and there are just shots of her looking pretty rather than real acting. Why isn't there a meaningful story here? It's all as non specific to Jisoo as the generic title of the song.
hiii i know this might be a lot to ask for but do u have any jean kirstein x reader fic recs?? i read a couple of your fics and they seem amazing i was wondering if you had any other fics that you liked... you totally don't have to answer this.... thanks! ❤️❤️
Hi! First of all, thank you so much for appreciating my work! ✨️ It's not a lot to ask at all! I actually enjoyed compiling my fave Jean fics so far 💖
I categorized them into three: ☁️ for fluff, 🌩 for angst, and 🔥 for spicy. Hope you enjoy the works of these amazing authors!
Disclaimer: I do not recall the genders of the reader used in these fics, but these are all either fem!reader or gn!reader.
"Belonging" by @firefly--bright
"Botany, baby" by @firefly--bright
"I Like You A Little" by @sanb3rry
"Cuddle Me, *ssh*le!" by @colorseeingchick
"Recruitment at Sunset" by @kinda-thoughtless-critic
"Broken bones" by @luna-eclipse2000
"Sweet Creature" by @damn-stark
"God Complex" by @jean-vi
🌩
"Nightmares" by @coloredsolos
"Nightmares II" by @coloredsoloss
"Silly Little You" by @beanbings-things
"Ash Brown" by @dolcezzzza
🔥
"So Damn Cute" by @bananami
"It's What Rivals Do" by @awkatsukis
"Make Me Warm" (3-part series) by @mangohedgehog
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
(Untitled) by @aotimagines
"Are You Still Mad" by @damn-stark
"Please?" by @hajisbunny
"Hate You So Much" by @fandomvariousness
In my opinion, their death was rushed. The concept was perfect, they should die to titans not people like the other scouts who died before Erwin’s death, but it wasn’t quite long enough for me. Hange deserved a send off almost to the calibre of Erwin’s.
I'd rather the squad, instead of standing around and gawking, would be desperately helping the engineers. Only Armin and/or Jean should get that reaction. Armin because they made him the new leader of the scouts, that’s a lot of pressure, in the moment probably doesn’t want that and also doesn’t want them to die. And Jean because it was because of his ‘friend’ Floch (were they friends? They seemed somewhat close, and there was some sort of connection there...I mean, mid season 3 Floch essentially was early season 1 Jean) and his badass final charge shooting holes in the plane (dick move though pretty cool) that they had to sacrifice their life.
I understand their shock. Floch’s action was unexpected, the arrival of the titans was unexpected, but I would have liked that shock to have come in the form of action.
Imagine:
Armin's hands are shaking, moving so erratically he drops key equipment, despite being of little help he screams at the others, ordering them to hurry up. Determined in the moment to make his only act as Survey Corp Commander getting this plane working now.
Hange has to return.
After all, against all odds he had done it, he had survived the inferno generated by colossal titan steam. If a miracle could happen for him, it could happen for them, it has to. Because if not...it’ll all be left on him.
That vain hope is picked up by everyone (maybe Pieck jokingly says they can ride her titan form when they come back), and they cling to the possibility Hange could live, no matter how small, it drives them to move faster, work harder, lift more, all while emotions are held back a frail fantasy. Everyone but Levi, who sees the writing in the wall. He meant it when he told them to dedicate their heart.
He’s the only one to look away when a bright spark ignites in the sky, a huge patch of blue dyed red as flames erupt just above the colossal hoard. The chain of production halts, young soldiers stare shell shocked, seeing one of their last hopes burn up in front of them. A genius who had almost singlehandedly pioneered knowledge of the Titans and technological breakthroughs, who had been through many battles with them and led them through 4 years of uncertainty.
Gone.
Onyankopon in tears announces the plane’s been fixed. With heavy hearts they file inside one by one, heads dropped low, shoulders slumped and breathing unsteady. Only with the roar of the engine masking their cries do they breakdown, Levi glimpsing the last embers fade into the beyond.
Catching feelings on Annie's side makes sense, teens can fall in love however and Armin was good friends with her during the training days. She's probably never been close to someone as kind and clever as him, adding the contrast of his pure self with the ruthless military culture she was bred in and yeah, an attachment here is fair enough. It's fine for her to hold onto those feelings, especially since he was one of the only people who visited and talked to her while in the crystal.
Putting aside the bias that I haven't liked her since the first half of season 1, I'm not a fan of any of this in s4 because the way she deals with those feelings are tonal whiplash and just so inappropriate. Like, hello Anna Lemonade? The world is ending. You don't see Jean chatting up Mikasa or Reiner pining after Historia, and that's because they know what's at state, they're willing to lay down their lives, and they are set on the job that needs to be done. But I'll get to Annie's lack of meaningful characterisation later on on, for now...
Feelings on Armin's side? Do those make sense?
No.
Bear in mind that:
Since she had Marco's gear during the inspection he had reason to suspect she knew how he died. He's a smart guy there's no way that possibility missed him.
He was one of the first to notice she was the female titan and when made aware of her feelings weaponised them as part of Erwin's plan.
After her crystal encasing he doesn't mention her except to manipulate and mind torture Bertholdt and Reiner in the season 2 finale.
In season 3 there's also no significant mention of her and he only starts to visit after eating Bertholdt during the time skip. Which is telling.
She caused many deaths by leading titans to the hole the Colossal titan created (indirectly killing his grandfather, his last living relative. Yet she has the nerve to use her dad as an excuse to leave the alliance)
Butchered the scouts and Levi's entire squad.
Was 50% responsible for the collateral damage in Stohess.
Slaughtered many soldiers while part of Marley's army (and was probably instructed to commit war crimes)
And what else...?
Oh yeah. Has yet to show any remorse over it (expect Marco, for some reason). All she's done is talk about her dad and mope. Armin has done some horrible things, nuking the port was an irredeemable act, but the thing is he knows and he hates himself for it. It was part of the plan, it had to be done, but he hated every second of it...just look at his face before he transforms.
Annie meanwhile remains apathetic and infuriatingly preachy (why does she keep asking Mikasa if she'll kill Eren? She probably has a pretty shallow understanding of there relationship, and going off her characterisation...she shouldn't care?)- which in a twisted way makes sense, after all why would she be forced to grapple with the weight of her sins when she was accepted way too quickly and was never held accountable. Reiner bore the brunt of all lingering animosity, she was an afterthought.
In season 1 she laughed when her identity was revealed, smiled before trying to transform, and sure, she was crying at the end if season one, but it wasn't out of remorse but because she'll never see her dad again. Even worse is that Armin's actions were born out of necessity, the continued survival of him and the Eldians...but Annie? When Marcel was eaten they had the chance to go back home but didn't, every life taken was a choice.
Now ok, you could make the argument they were brainwashed. Reiner woke up to that lie fairly early on and created a split personality to deal with the guilt, a guilt that almost killed him. Bertholdt died believing the rhetoric that the Eldians are devils somewhere deep down...but does Annie see them that way? Has she ever seen them that way? This is where her lack of meaningful characterisation comes back to bite, because we don't know. Throw whatever headcanon you want at it, it's still just headcanon.
I'm of the opinion that she isn't a fan of people in general, dislikes all of humanity (except Armin, her dad and maybe Mikasa), thus was able to see the Eldians and scouts as the beetles and grasshoppers she crushed under her heel as a kid. She has a crush on Armin and has never had any conflicting thoughts about catching feelings for a devil. Her flashbacks in the season one finale were of her dad, not the shady military that trained her for war. Her reason for doing all this was because of him, his training and wanting to return home, not specifically to destroy the Eldian devils. Or maybe that was a part of it?
Again, we don't know, and it's never hinted at let alone fleshed out.
Let's ask more questions: What's her opinion on Eren's plan? Does she feel humanity outside the walls deserves to die or not? How does she feel about Hange (the last time she saw them they were threatening them with a sword to the pupil, looking pretty scary)? Or Levi? Having murdered his whole squad and injured him, forcing him to sit out season two's events (had he been there the titan shifters wouldn't have gotten away and there would have been so many less deaths). How does she feel about seeing people who were once her friends after years? Jean? Connie? Historia? Ymir? Why did she never ask about potato girl? Sure she seemed like she didn't care about them, but to have her slowly start to nonchalantly ask would not only help with character growth but also be...cute? Much more tonally appropriate than have her show up eating pie.
But anyway, regarding all those questions, we don't know, because she isn't a character anymore. Just Armin's love interest. Unbothered and weak, without conviction or even a functioning moral compass, the broken needle instead pointing at 'dad'.
It's disappointing because having an opinion outside the established moral framework, not for Eldia, not for freedom, not for the greater good but rather self-preservationist apathy is inherently interesting. In fact it's vaguely similar to season 3 Historia: the worst girl in the world who wanted all of humanity to die out, and that stuff was great. But Historia is a great character partly because she rises to the challenge, after an arc of apprehension she kills her father, becomes the queen and punches an Ackerman. But cold-hearted Annie remains in that apprehensive state, does fuck all when the boat sets sail, there's no pay-off or closure and she gets to live happily without consequences.
So yeah, the ship makes no sense. Not when Armin hasn't consistently put in enough effort and interest, and because Annie isn't even a 2 dimensional character. Or even a plank of wood.
~~~
Thanks for reading.
Disclaimer: I am biased, I haven't liked Annie and Armin since season 1's finale and reading the ending respectively.
In a season called: Mystery of Aaravos, the titular elf got a few minutes of screentime...most of it crammed into one short scene!
Which I hated.
People who think he got too little screen time and people who think he got the right amount all seem to latch onto this scene as one of the best in the season, and I can’t understand why. Don’t get me wrong, I liked it when the pretty purple elf sat down and crossed his legs all smug, but everything else about his appearance frustrated me. Here’s why:
Just before we get to the scene itself, the build up to his eventual meeting with the main characters was, um, terrible? It was pretty underwhelming. The Dragon Queen exposited too much about his history, exposed too much of his personality and his crimes against elf and dragon kind, to the squad as she was airdropping them to the Skyview Temple. And again, when the mirror was uncovered, where admittedly it felt quite natural for her to tell them everything she did, but it did something awful. It wasted not only the audience’s time but also the character’s time.
Remember, in episode 2 Callum made that huge discovery finding Aaravos’ mirror and figuring out how the book worked. That could have been used as a jumping off point for the squad to slowly put the puzzle pieces together, but instead it’s forgotten about and then the Queen tells them everything. Even worse, it shot Aaravos’ biggest appeal in the face. That being his intrigue and mystery.
Then we get to that Aaravos scene.
Not even his mischievous smirk or incredible voice acting could salvage what the writers did. Just what the heck was any of that?
Firstly, and I know this world works on a soft magic system, but how in the world did he possess Callum like that?? And why didn’t he do that with Viren instead of going through the trouble of making the caterpillar thing? He could’ve act like him, Viren acted like a cold ass dude with little emotional attachment to anything, I’m sure Aaravos could have pulled that off.
Also, what was the point? Did the writers think a scene where the characters are writing stuff down would be too boring for us? That could have been really cool if the dialogue was entertaining with clever hidden meanings, rather than vapid showboating. Aaravos had no reason to suspect these kids were on to him and his plans, so why did he come out guns blazing rather than wait and learn what they know, then figure out ways to use them?
Secondly, why antagonize the kids like that?? That’s just silly.
And two, his biggest advantage is that they know literally nothing about him! Why did paint himself as the obvious cartoon villain when he could fairly easily lie and deceive them? Use his intrigue to make them useful or put them against each other. He can’t be so arrogant (the very thing he called the sun elves out for) as to not see the potential of manipulating the King of Katolis (he should absolutely recognise the crown Ezran is wearing), the kingdom’s high mage (Viren’s literal replacement), the Captain of the King’s Royal Guard and the banished moonshadow elf who almost killed Viren!
One they’ve grown up, so the flimsy character defects that he brings up aren’t even relevant anymore. They’ve all grown past that. The Dragon Queen herself told Ezran he was wise and kind, Rayla couldn’t find Viren meaning she had every right to think him dead (meaning she killed someone and is not a failed assassin), and Soren is too much of a chad and has had enough growth to not have crippling insecurities anymore. Basically, Aaravos doesn’t know any of them personally, there’s been no established or built upon relationship between him and the squad, so this scene came off as him just taking pot shots at them. Shallow ones without impact, because he’s two years out of touch.
Did he lose braincells in the two year time skip?
His monologues like at Lux Auria were intimidating because they were in small doses, had purpose, added to his mystic (like when he revealed he knew how the late sun elf queen died) and dramatic af. Here he’s just talking down to a bunch of kids he’s (and I can’t stress this enough) never met before. And they don’t know him. Literally what was the point of ‘intimidating’ them like that?? Who wrote this?
There reaction to his senseless word vomit shouldn’t have been terror or anxiety, but rather neutral confusion. They should be wondering who this weird guy is, talking like he knows them, spouting stuff they’ve already moved past and overcome after 3 seasons of development.
I expected them to catch him doing something comically ordinary, like reading or doing yoga, something to immediately through them off kilter and run counter to the exposition the Dragon Queen dumped on them. Then they can watch him slowly eye them up, grab a seat and some writing tools and communicate with them in a relatively basic way. Again, subverting all their expectations and the audience, who knows he’s capable of more and is just messing with them. Again, it’s been two years since he last spoke to anyone, let him have some fun. Simultaneously he’d also be finding out about them, nuggets of info he can weaponize later on.
I just…really wanted to see him banter with the kids.
Everything he writes down spawns a hasty group huddle, where they collaboratively argue whether him asking about the weather is a way for him to figure out the date or if it’s just a harmless question, all while the elf smiles inscrutably from behind. Maybe Ezran reminds him of the human girl he once met, which momentarily gives him pause and Rayla notices a brief shift in demeanour…so much wasted potential man.
If...he wanted to break the mirror (since I guess he had no use for anyone to see into his prison), then why not goad the kids into breaking the mirror? It would achieve his goal, pay off all that trickster exposition, add some much needed emotional/psychological damage to their minds and weaken their moral. Make them think it was an accident and they just lost a major advantage, playing into the mastermind’s hands.
But no. Instead he monologues a bunch of crap, giving too much away and then breaks the mirror himself (How? No idea. Why didn’t he do that in the two year time skip? No idea). In case they and we as the audience weren’t sure who the baddie is.
Damp earth gave way to steadfast footsteps, scuffed leather boots leaving prints in the soil, you treaded on flora and chased away fauna alike in your search of the runaway soldier. The night air did little to cool your temper, having preferred to leave the chaos of the campfire rather than stay and add fuel to the fire, the most you could do was take your anger out on the roots and weeds lining your path. Indiscriminately, as through rapidly blinking eyes you were navigating mere snapshots of the dark forest.
The pleas of Armin and Mikasa asking you to come back faded too quickly with each tree passed, and the pointless incessant whining of the bastard Marlayan soldiers, failed and inappropriate apologies, still stuck to the bark around you. Their self pity clinging like festering mould.
With your thoughts running a million miles a minute, all blanketed under numb anger, your mind wasn't really giving the body clear instruction. You assumed this was the direction you saw him run in, but any number of twists or turns fuelled by alcohol induced avoidance could have passed by unknown. Unwittingly, or perhaps an unconscious application of the hunter training Sasha once showed you, you ended up following large footprints messily embedded in soft mud to a large tree.
A quiet cough gave you pause.
The footprints crept round the trunk and you peered tired eyes behind, they focused on a crouched figure and ceased frustrated rapid blinking, widening slowly.
Jean sat with his back pressed flat against cold bark, seemingly with little regard for the degrading condition of his coat; dew dripped into his collar where his head bent and mud seeped into dark green cotton below where long legs huddled together. Slightly chapped hands, imperceptible now in the low light (though the red of broken skin atop the knuckles couldn't be ignored), protected fragile ears. Ears that had heard too much, ears that had heard enough, ears that didn't want to hear anymore.
Your eyes teared up all over again seeing him like this. Had you not been so indecisive, body shocked into stillness as you held onto Jean's wine bottle rather than the desperate man himself, you could have chased right after him. Sparing him the torture of dealing with this alone.
Wiping away lingering water drops from your palm on the side of your frayed pale shirt, you stepped in front of him, treading carefully as you knelt down and warmed the backs of his hands with your own. When he noticed your approach you couldn't tell, having shown no reaction, not a shift in his heavy breathing, not a twitch of his limbs, until you made contact.
Your clammy skin was barely less cold than his, but in the manner he raised his head, opened up glassy orbs like floodgates from which a surplus of tears fell down existing paths staining his face, was as if you'd wrapped him in the warmest blanket. Though, his withered expression nothing short of broken, the way his body slumped was nothing short of broken. Eventually, you got to meet his eyes, the pain held sending tiny blades to chip away at your heart.
"I'm...so sorry for bringing it up," you sighed, the relief from finding him escaping to make way for more sadness, in the same way whatever relief he felt from seeing you was overshadowed. You cradled his face. "It wasn't exactly something we all needed to know by now."
"No," Jean waved off, a small sniff after each syllable. A big one came at the end of the sentence making him wipe his nose with the back of his sleeve. "It's their fault for not shutting up. I didn't need to know...all that."
"Even still," gloom tinted your voice, "I prompted their confession."
"Don't be like that. You heard them. As if they'd been itching to tell us for years; probably thought they'd get some sort of closure from it," he said bitterly, his posture opening up along with his words though his voice cracked with effort, "Why'd Reiner keep going on and on and on about not deserving forgiveness? That's fucking obvious. What was he begging for?"
"Not sure but," you looked off to the side, unable to bear his gaze, "when he said that, his eyes- his and Annie's- looked...desperate? I'm sure in some twisted way it was for our sake too-"
"But to repeat it over and over."
"Yeah." You shut your eyes. "What about the girl?"
"Who?"
"Gabi, the one who killed Sasha? You kicked her, remember?"
"...shouldn't have gotten in the way."
"Right."
The two of you stayed like that for a couple of minutes, accompanied by silence. Neither of you had a way with words in situations like these, taking comfort in the few shared and mere presence of the other. Jean took the other hand away from his face and took it in yours. As the flood of emotions that had once controlled him were now flowing out of his system, he was now able to better focus on the one who came to his aid.
The one who'd lost their uniform coat after being swallowed by the cart titan and now was left in their button-up shirt. Back at the campfire- just before dinner- he had asked if you were cold, but with gentle persuasion you insisted you were warm enough. But now no lie could convincingly distract him from from your shaking form; your right hand doing so the most noticeably, although it didn't seem any more colder compared to your other hand. Then again he could be be wrong. Perhaps the haze of slowly acting drunkenness had illusioned it.
"You're shaking," Jean murmured, and you looked back at him.
"Oh, it's nothing-" Trying to deflect the comment proved fruitless when Jean took hold of your shaking right hand and guided it still in the firm grip of calloused palms, effectively silencing you.
"What happened? Did you sit on it awkwardly or something?" He flicked his gaze back at you.
Warm and vulnerable could only describe such a look. A kind of attentiveness only reserved for you, given freely away from prying eyes. Yet still were you not used to it, sent rambling every time he displayed those adoring eyes. "No it's just that," you caught yourself, "well, after I got the wine bottle away from you...I kind of lost my temper...and...chucked it at Annie on my way to find you."
Jean stared, stunned, while you covered your forehead in embarrassment. Raising an eyebrow he pondered, "I didn't see lighting."
"You couldn't have with your back against the tree and faced away from camp."
"The ground didn't shake."
"In the state you're in, I doubt you'd have noticed."
"Then...did you get her?"
You shook your head. "Her reflexes are crazy. The only way I could have hit her is if she allowed me to."
"Y/n, who would ever allow someone to land a hit on them?" Jean smirked, gently squeezing your hand to stop the final jitters.
You gave him a meaningful look. "Reiner let you. Multiple times."
"He deserved it." Jean relaxed against the tree. "Besides we both know I still could've taken him if he'd actually grown a pair and fought back. Easily."
Now you raised a playful eyebrow, tugging muscles promising a smile. "Easily, huh?"
"Yes," he insisted, then checked himself, "...when I haven't been drinking."
Not often did he make jokes, and even less often were they funny. But Jean after nearly a bottle of red could be a delight, you couldn't help but laugh, even if worries and doubts weighed down with the weight of the walls. Adding to your affliction with the cold, Jean noticed the extra shivers rattling your body in between shoulders bouncing in their own rhythm. He let go of your hand and sat up a little to take off his coat, so abruptly he almost knocked you off the balls of your feet.
His fingers moved with haste to clumsily undo the buttons, and when he was able to shirk it off he then threw it over your shoulders saying, "We're far from the campfire now, there's no excuse."
He was right. And if he was able to tell you obviously weren't being at all subtle. There was no way he'd take it back seeing the way he pressed against the trunk again, so you started putting your arms through one of the oversized sleeves. "What about you section commander?"
Jean furrowed his eyebrows but responded, "I've drank enough to not feel a thing."
"Let's hope so; the rest of it is soaking into the ground as we speak," you said, putting your arm through the other sleeve and pulling a face upon realising what was on the end of it. "Brilliant. I'll be kept warm by your snot covered uniform-oh, and it's also covered in mud at the bottom. Cheers."
The surprising and genuine sounding disgust you voiced was somehow funny to him. Even sober he'd chuckle while pretending to grumble. So, he put on his stern soldier face and tugged lightly at the sleeve. "That's a funny thing to say to your section commander, after he so generously gave you his coat. Subordinates should say 'thank you'."
Relieved that he's acting more like himself and that you're bantering like you used to before the raid on Marley, that promised smile finally made its appearance. "You're gonna throw that in my face now?"
"I've never once asked you to call me by my title and yet you do it anyway. Then when I try and act like it with you, you complain."
"I complain when you don't act like you," you said, tapping his cold face.
Jean took the sleeve warming hand assaulting his forehead and began to roll it up your arm. "And you're not acting out because I've outranked you for months?"
"In your dreams," you playfully scoffed. "We both know Hange would at least have considered me for the role if I actually wanted it."
"That so?" Jean probed, doing the other sleeved.
"Well...and trained for it," you added in a small voice.
Jean chuckled as he finished rolling up the other sleeve. He gave it a couple of soft pats and said, "There you can't see it, and now you can at least pretend it doesn't exist, right?"
You looked at the puffy folds of fabric. "Yeah, thanks; I was probably going to have to do that anyway though, you're a freaking titan in your own right."
"Yep," he stretched against the tree, "taller than the lemon-head, the skin-head and the meat-head."
A giggle escaped parted lips and you steadily drew up from your less than comfortable crouch, taking a hold of Jean's hand. "Be sure to stand tall on the walk back, ok?"
However, you didn't even get to the point of standing up straight. As quickly as your weight was placed on a steady stance was it dropped back down, for Jean had gently pulled you to his side, wrapping around an arm. Unlike the night spent in the room of imprisoned non-Yeagerist soldiers, he didn't stop there. Choosing to slump down further to rest a heavy head on your shoulder and taking your closest hand in his other free one. Once comfortable, he said in a calm lilt, "Let's just, stay. Here."
"We have to be back when they start getting ready to leave," you said, wrapping him in your arms and resting your head on his.
"Why?"
"Because there's a good chance they won't have the time to go searching and will just leave without us."
"Oh," his eyes closing on their own, "can't go back now."
"Back to what?" You let out a slow sigh. "There's nothing left."
"We could've had a house in the interior."
You watch as he entwines together your fingers, weaving them together along a dreamy picture. Trying to imagine such a reality was an ability you'd lost some weeks ago. The burden of duty kept you chained to this cause, even thinking of walking away from it all made something sickly mix with the fabricated sweetness, and tear everything apart like candyfloss. Walls no longer entrapped them, instead they moved to ensnare the world and destroy everything outside. Every morning when you look out the window, you'd see an endless flat expanse and know for certain nothing lay beyond. No future beyond the island.
You couldn't live with that.
Neither could he.
A wry smile reflects your dissatisfaction; you couldn't bite back the bitter retort, "We'd also have to spend the rest of our lives licking the heels of the second coming of Commander Erwin: Floch, the righteous leader of the new Eldian Empire. Oh, and take care of my titan mother."
"Wouldn't be all bad," Jean murmured into the crook of your neck, more to himself now, sinking lower and lower onto the ground. "Floch's annoying but he's tolerable enough, and at least your mother will be alive...somewhere in that titan body. Connie's mother was able to recognise and greet him, maybe she'll be able to do the same with us and our childr-"
"Jean..."
"It doesn't matter." A breathy chuckle, defeated and fed-up. "We chose to leave it behind."
It was a pleasantly warm evening at the survey corps headquarters, fading amber sun rays shone through open windows and avian chitter echoed from the leafy tops of trees outside. A relatively newly appointed Section Commander was at his desk shuffling some documents around. Many a parchment was discarded at a near automated speed, the applicant’s name was scanned and nine times out of ten dummped on a stack towering at the desk’s edge. Another, much smaller pile sat patiently in front of the young soldier.
His long fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as tired eyes forced themselves to squint at less than impressive chicken scratch. A calloused thumb pad sank into the paper, creating creases like that of those framing his features, and he sighed, wishing the setting sun would pause and prolong the day a little longer.
It was then the warm oak door to his office opened with a slight creak of its old hinges, and that wish disappeared through the widening gap. Too quick did bright eyes meet his, curved to the softest gaze, the sheet of paper cropping off a smile. Jean jerked upright at your entrance, only having seconds to swiftly sweep the larger paper pile into the metal bin below and place the one he’d been scanning on the one in front.
You cocked an eyebrow as you drew closer to his desk, the door closing slowly behind.
“These are the applications for your new squad,” he said nonchalantly, handing you a flimsy stack of papers.
You skimmed through the applicants, flipping through the limited number of pages. Impressed by their statements, but disappointed with the lack of choice, after the 5th you stopped. “They’re all female”
“Yeah, that seems to be the case,” he responded, resting his elbows on the desk, light brown eyes piercing in the subdued light, “the top four ones are the people I think you should pick. Bridgette and Lina placed 10th and 8th in their Training Corps a few years back, Winnie was a well respected Garrison soldier and I think it will be good to have one of the new recruits like Piper join your squad and learn the ropes.”
Your smile returned as he pitched his suggestions, noting the stray hairs falling from their carefully combed positions to brush the tips of his nose and cheekbones. “You’ve thought about this a lot haven’t you?”
Jean smiled, softer lines replacing rigid ones, and his expression relaxed. “I’m your superior now; it’s my job.”
“Except on this occasion it isn’t, Commander Hange gave me the okay to choose my own members,” you smirked, “not for my Section Commander to do it for me.”
Jean sat back a bit, running a hand through disheveled locks, “I saved you time. It would’ve taken ages for you to decide on the right ones, so I thought I’d help you out.”
“This doesn’t seem like much.” You flapped the documents for extra effect, then glanced sidelong at the recently filled bin beside his desk. “Unless I am to count the ones you threw away just a moment ago.”
He followed your eyes down and promptly folded his arms. “Those aren’t important.”
“In your opinion perhaps, but not to me,” you said, stalking over to them and fishing them out. Jean frowned, displeasure evident in the reappearing creases gathering around knitted brows as you flipped through them. “So here are all my male applicants.”
“The ones I picked out for you were better suited,” Jean insisted.
You almost laughed. “You sure? Because one of these guys, Isaac Milton, was a Squad Captain in the Garrison.”
“He was stationed at Yarckel,” he countered, “He’s never seen a titan.”
“We’re not really fighting titans anymore. At least, not like before.”
“True, but he’s got little battle experience compared to the veterans I’ve picked, and won’t be as sharp as the new trainees. We don’t know exactly what we’ll be up against. Y/n, I don’t want you getting yourself killed protecting him.”
You sighed, clutching the stack close to your chest. “I’ll need his leadership experience- plus he was in the top 20 after graduating.”
“Leadership experience like choosing which barrel to sit on while you drink away the shift playing cards?” His words were sarcastic but his tone nothing short of sincere, this combined with the intent gaze he fixed you getting up and walking round made for a dangerous combination. He took back the stack with without resistance. “Hange and Levi are giving you a squad because they know what you can do. You’re more than capable of leading them.” He let the pile land with a thump on the desk and rested a hand on it, leaning his tall frame towards you. Attentive. “Have faith in yourself.”
Your heart skipped a beat at his immediacy, amber rays highlighting the precise curve of his smile, sheer softness in this gaze. The musky scent of imported cologne played annoyingly with your senses, threatening to distract your thoughts.
With a huff, you gently shoved his shoulder. “I’m fully capable of your promotion.”
He let out a soft chuckle, allowing his body to sway slightly with the impact. “Alright, then maybe you’ll get the next position that comes up.”
Shaking your head, as if you could brush off the natural half smile clinging to your cheek, you reached around his arm to pick up the lighter stack. Both of you knew he wouldn’t stop you if you really wanted to choose differently, but you were never going to. His judgement was more than reliable, had saved your life multiple times, for the longest time you never questioned trusting it. That said, you weren’t going to make it easy for him. “Is there a reason the only ones you approved were female?”
Jean took his hand off the tall paper pile, subtly hiding it from view as his lower back leaned against the desk. “Nope. They’re the best here.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely.”
“Fine,” you reached up to jiggle his bearded chin. He allowed it, for a moment, before playfully batting your hand away. Turning on a heel you made your way to the door, “I’ll go with these four, so they better not disappoint, Horseface,” finally calling out as you left, “Actually to be on the safe sight, keep those ones on file for me...”
A heavy sigh juxtaposed your friendly wave goodbye, followed by a quiet grumble seeing your fleeting figure, taking away what little light had been left with it.
