Button, Button, Who’s Got the Button?

Bryonna. 31. She/her. Hello.

[kindofintheway]

Donate to Help Sam and Bryonna Start Their Family, organized by Sam Lyman

Hello, we are hoping to raise money to continue our journey in fertility. We have be… Sam Lyman needs your support for Help Sam and Bryonna

Please share if you can 💕

[aropride]

ur clothes size doesnt say anything. like it doesnt say anything abt u as a person but it also especially doesnt say anything about what size your clothes are

[weaver-z]

I heard this metaphor growing up, and in my case, it backfired supremely, because I went out into my neighbor's backyard where a rose bush was growing, and the one I tested had like 30 petals (it was yellow, but definitely a rose of some kind), and as a very logical lass, I came to the conclusion that you could have premarital sex AT LEAST ten times before your future husband would even notice something was up. Moral of the story? Test your metaphors on the weirdest and most neurodivergent child you know before writing your weird religious propaganda.

[zvaigzdelasas]

Alright I'll bite. What's a new York

[phleb0tomist]

i love the news. this is from a real article

[swagophile]

me: [posting in the maid gc] yeah my lady screamed at me and threw bottles at my head cus i talked while she was reading her novellas again. any advice

maid 1: poison her

maid 2: yea poison her

maid 3: i have a connect on some really strong untraceable poisons if you want

me: girls she makes me try all of her food before she eats it how am i gonna poison her

maid 1: put it in her mouth while she sleeps

maid 2: ^this. worked like a charm for my sister

maid 3: yeah dm me i have a bunch of techniques that might work

maid 4: have you tried seducing her? maybe she just needs to have her heart warmed so she may show you the kindness you deserve

maid 2: MARY

maid 1: cmon mary

maid 3: just because YOUR lady has sex with you doesn't mean everyone's lady does

me: no wait she does like to put her fingers in my mouth to check if i swallowed her food. and i'm pretty sure she squeezed my ass once

maid 4: yeah exactly. message me i can tell yoy more

maid 3: whatever. if you need the poison just hit me up

maid 5: girls do you know how to get wine out of satin

maid 1: how recent is the spill

maid 5: a few days old

maid 2: you're fucked

[dankmemeuniversity]

[thebreakfastgenie]

Sooooo few people are actually willing to defend the basic human rights of people who have committed crimes. Like I know it's not fun but if you genuinely believe in human rights as a concept you can't be okay with the state violating them in prisons I'm sorrrrry. Having moral principles is not always a fun time.

[medusabraids]

….they really had sex on that mountain with absolutely no lube

[trainthief]

Me as a local trapper in 1903 seeing Teddy Roosevelt and John Muir return from a three day backpacking trip through Yosemite and then hearing Roosevelt granted it national park status immediately after

[ihatethisgaywebsite-deactivated]

this tweet hasn't left my mind once in the two years since it's been posted

[11thsense]

Those fanfic type stories people write where the plot is like “I picked up a stray cat off the street and it turned into a sexy man?!” R so funny cause if I found a cute cat and spent a week taking care of it and being like aw ur my baby now just for that cat to turn into a man that shit would piss me clean off…I might even kill him

[eyecantread]

[ef-1]

"Friend" is an AI wearable device designed to provide "companionship + emotional support"— i.e replace human friendships. Its literally an AI chatbot that you wear around your neck. "Friend" just paid for the largest ad campaign in NYC subway history

And Every. Single. Poster was vandalised, it literally looks like some of the most beautiful art you have ever seen

[confessionsdiaz]

*through gritted teeth* the world is GOOD. people are kind. Humans are NOT inherently selfish. you will make it through this year. recovery is possible. people you don't know yet will love you. You are going to do things you can't even imagine right now. You are going to read a rlly good book. You are going to eat some rlly good food. You are going to experience joy again. Things can get better. Situations can change. You can choose to be kinder. The world can change for the better.

[pokkin]

In order to solve the ethical conundrums present in eating meat I have created the world's first ontologically evil pig

[sector-v]

Extremely irksome as an autistic person to ask a clarifying question and be told you’re “splitting hairs” when you genuinely just don’t understand because there isn’t enough information. Like, buddy. This is me at my most basic level of “what do you mean by that.” You wanna see me split hairs? If you really saw how thin I could slice a hair you’d hurl

[sector-v]

I will split a hair into smaller halves every hour my demands of mutual participation in communication are not met

[sabertoothwalrus]

good dynamic: character who’s too deeply rooted to a fault + character who’s never been able to form roots anywhere before

[sabertoothwalrus]

yeahyeaheyaheyeahyeahyeahyeah

[d1ckqueen]

[sabertoothwalrus]

ok everyone else shut up this is the only one that matters