[omegaversereloaded]

My favorite fucking website

[omegaversereloaded]

My low IQ idiot friend: im growing an apple tree in my backyard. Fuji - my absolute favorite. You sho...

Me, genius, visibly thinking extremely hard, not paying attention to a word he's saying: *apple tree ... apple ... worm ... worm HOLE ... apple car ... apple shaped car ... worm driving apple car*

Me, now having decided on how to respond: I wish id never met you. I wisb youd never been born

[chronicillnesshumor-deactivated]

Doctors are like: ughhhhh. You're confusing. Come back if you die

[fwuitgummi]

Me after I eat chips in bed and leave a bunch of crumbs

[orbgirl]

[cheesepress-deactivated20191231]

[bewbin]

there used to be this giant book that was shipped to everybodies home whiched doxxed everybody in the city

[skunkes]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[anphivenas]

non sequitur ? uhhh ,i hope to be having a lot of seq uit her actually

[bigandretired-deactivated202501]

[werewolfoffeverswamp]

i forget this yik yak from my former college isnt like a viral meme because i say it so fucking much. trying not to shidfart my panta

[parasitoidism]

The celebrity Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavors being some of the best ones is like the retail equivalent of having to go to a restaurant and order a rootin tootin yeehaw cowboy burger or something

[parasitoidism]

The Tonight Dough is a downright hedonistic ice cream flavor concept but in order to obtain it you have to purchase a pint of ice cream with Jimmy Fallon's face on it and then see him in your freezer every day for a week

[underestimated-heroine]

[wifegideonnav]

why are there so many tonight dough posts

[nem23]

[gondwana]

It's over

[eliotquillon]

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

[absoluteconceptofbeauty]

my brain is deteriiooioutaing i can hear it

[thathomestar]

just cast the fire spell. dip shit