part iv: non-refundable || calum hood
warnings: swearing, alcohol and some violence
a/n: god i have missed writing, so sorry for the sudden disappearance. hopefully this juicy chapter makes up for it! xo
Y/N wakes up peacefully, with a strong and warm embrace around her. Unfortunately, the sense of quietude wears off almost immediately after waking up, realizing that she’s bare-bodied and practically is Calum, the only thing covering him is his unbuttoned white dress shirt and their comforter.
Her eyes widen at the sudden memory of last night’s events, walking into the club and having one (or six) too many drinks, then pulling Calum over to the dance floor, surrounded by sweaty bodies all under the influence of alcohol, as they were too. Her memory is slightly hazy, but she remembers it all, and oh fuck.
She remembers the way the two of them stumbled into their hotel room, unable to keep their hands off of each other the second their door closed. She remembers the way her back arched underneath him, his fingers, mouth, and dick hitting her in all the right spots. She remembers how fucking loud they were, as she sat on top of him and rode him like there was no tomorrow, his head thrown back, groaning and reaching for every inch of her body that he could touch.
Then, she remembers that they aren’t together and they had sex.
Y/N wiggles out of Calum’s grasp, successfully not waking him up. Her unclothed body makes its way to the bathroom, grabbing a fresh set of pajamas from her suitcase on the way there. She changes, looks at herself in the bathroom mirror, and at the sight of her tired, hungover face, she begins to cry.
She almost feels embarrassed. She feels shame, regret, and she’s awfully angry with herself. Angry that she didn’t stop him. Angry that she fucking loved it. Angry that she promised herself to not make things awkward between them two, and simply breaking that promise in the span of a night.
She wipes her eyes, splashes herself with water, and then whispers to herself, “You are not gonna let this one stupid night fuck everything up. You act normal, and he will too. Do not sell this trip.” And with that, she walks out of the washroom and begins to fake her personality for the whole day.
Calum doesn’t wake up for another hour, waking up to a cold right side of the bed. His eyes shift towards the lone chair, taking a quick look at a wide awake Y/N casually watching TV. Before she can notice that he’s awake, he takes a quick look what he’s wearing – or the lack thereof. He doesn’t even have time to react, jumping out of bed immediately and walking towards the bathroom, just like how Y/N did beforehand.
“Morning, Cal.” She simply says, not taking her eyes off of the television screen with no response in return, and only hearing a simple bathroom door shut. “What the fuck,” She whispers to herself, before shrugging it off and continuing to watch her show.
Calum’s in the washroom mentally beating himself up, on the verge of physically doing so too. He shoots Ashton a quick text, letting him know that he will be receiving a phone call later today, because he fucked up. He genuinely needs to calm down, and attempts to resolve his issue by taking a nice, long, shower. It doesn’t work.
Walking into the centre of the hotel room in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, he notices that Y/N is now back on the bed, casually scrolling on her phone. “Showered before me today, didn’t wanna deal with the wait time today, huh?” She asks him. “Yeah, something like that,” He mutters, taking his clothes out of his luggage for the day and walking back into the bathroom.
Y/N sighs, throwing her head back at his sudden change of mood. She’s dealt with it before, a countless amount of times, but after some time away from him, she’s obviously slightly rusty at doing so. She asks herself, why is he upset? Does he regret it? Is he mad that it happened? Did he not like it, at all?
Calum’s asking himself the same damn things in the washroom. How is she acting so fucking normal? Is that how much she doesn’t want me anymore? Did she not like it, at all?
Once Calum’s fully changed, Ashton responds to his text with a simple. Sounds good. Ready when you are. And with that, Calum makes a beeline from the washroom to the hotel door. “Gonna go on a walk and talk to Ashton for a bit.” Is all he says to Y/N, shutting the door behind him and leaving a confused Y/N all alone in their hotel room.
She groans in frustration, throwing her head back once again and reaching for her phone to call Gabriella, knowing it’s not too late in Los Angeles and praying that she’s not busy. And to Y/N’s luck, Gab picks up on the second ring. “Hey, Y/N! What’s up, how’s Japan been treating ya?”
“Japan’s been treating me well, but Calum hasn’t..” Y/N trails off, frowning as she recalls the last few moments she had spent with him. “Oh no, is he being a dick? What happened?” Gabriella asks the girl on the other line, practically hearing her sadness through the phone. “It was so good, Gab. We’ve been perfectly fine for the most part. But last night, we went to the club. We got too drunk…” “Oh no. Y/N, don’t tell me.” Gabriella responds, Y/N hearing the disappointment laced in her voice. She stays silent, earning a groan from Gabriella. “Oh God, then what? How is it now?”
“He’s said like, less than ten words to me! He left to go on a walk and talk to Ash or something. What the fuck do I do? We’re here for like, a week still! We can’t just fucking ignore each other the rest of the trip! Fuck Gab, I promised myself that I wouldn’t make this whole vacay awkward and that’s the one thing I did.”
Gab can hear the distress and upset in Y/N’s voice, wishing so hard she could be there and embrace her in the biggest hug and tell her that it’s gonna be okay. “Hey Y/N, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. This wasn’t your fault either. It was your guys’ drunken mistake. Just give him some space for a little bit, and then try talking to him again, everything’ll be okay, okay Y/N? Don’t beat yourself up over this.”
Gabriella’s words have always been more than comforting for Y/N, much like how Calum’s are as well. But this time, for the first time in what feels like a long time, Y/N’s doubting her – and Y/N rarely ever doubts Gab.
Half of her is thinking to herself, maybe he just needs some time to cool off. It’s not an easy situation to reflect on, being exes halfway across the country and spending pretty much all their time together, resulting in a drunk sex by the end of the night. But the other half of her is panicking; she’s driving herself insane at the thought of what could happen the moment he comes back. Will he book a flight early and leave me alone here? Will he act completely normal? Is he going to act like he hates me now?
She decides to go with her heart and trust Gab, just like how she always has. “Yeah… you’re right Gab. I’m gonna just take some time to myself, maybe take a nap, go for a walk, maybe sleep, I don’t know. I’ll talk to you later though, alright? I’ll update you on everything.”
“Okay Y/N, take care. Don’t fret too much, just take some time to cool down and enjoy your alone time there. It’ll feel really refreshing having your own space away from him, and if you need anything, just text me, okay?” Gabriella assures Y/N through the phone, sensing her immense stress despite the thousands of miles between them.
“Love you, Gab. I’ll text you later.” And the line goes dead. Y/N ponders on Gabriella’s words, feeling some sense of comfort alone. She gets comfy in the big bed fit for two, pulls the covers up to her chin and lets sleep take over her. She needs it anyways, she doesn’t need to get lost in her own thoughts right now.
After a longer nap than expected, she wakes up to a pretty sunset peeking through the balcony window, along with a lone Calum leaning against it, taking photos of the pretty view. Y/N stretches, still engulfed in the covers for a little bit, before making her way towards the balcony.
Leaning against the railing and facing the tall man beside her, he takes a hit of the cigarette he’s holding, speaking up. “Nice nap?” He asks, Y/N nodding in response. “Very nice.” She replies as he holds out his cigarette for her, obliging and leaning in to inhale. “What about you? How was your conversation with Ashton?”
Y/N feels like she’s overstepping with that question, but that’s really not her intention. Calum was clearly distraught (for reasons she’s too afraid to speak up about), and needed to talk to his closest friend. Putting aside the whole having sex thing, she just wanted to make sure that he’s feeling better.
“Oh, oh yeah. Just caught up with Ash for a little bit, asked him how Duke was doing and was just telling him that I was a little bit homesick. He told me he was feeling a little lonely too with everybody being gone, so I kept him company.” Calum replies, taking a seat on one of the little chairs placed on the balcony.
Okay, that was a lie. What really happened was that Calum desperately shot Ashton a text needing to tell him what happened and what he should do, resulting in Ashton calling him a fat idiot and just persuading Calum to tell Y/N how he feels.
Ashton still showed Calum Duke though, so it wasn’t entirely a lie, right?
Y/N simply nods in response, sitting in the empty chair across from Calum, silence filling the air as she watches him put out his cig.
Someone’s bound to bring last night’s events up, right?
Calum’s silently begging Y/N to be the one to do it, but Y/N’s silently begging Calum to do the same thing.
“Hey Calum,” She begins, getting a sudden urge of confidence as she looks up at him. His head turns to look at her, asking “Yeah?” as his dark brown eyes engulf hers.
Yup. And the confidence is gone.
“We should go to the club again.” She blurts out, getting up from her chair and walking back into the hotel room, mentally facepalming herself.
He follows her inside, a little confused at the sudden outburst, but he isn’t opposed to the idea. “Yeah, sure. When do you want to go?”
“Um, let me get ready and we’ll head over there afterwards.” Y/N tells him, him nodding and getting comfy on the king-sized bed for the time being.
More alcohol, more loud music, more clouded thoughts. And it’s so awkward, as they sit beside each other in silence as they take sips from their drinks. Y/N isn’t too sure why she even suggested going here in the first place – why couldn’t she have thought of something else to avoid asking him about the sex?
“I um, I’m gonna go onto the dance floor if you wanna come join me.” She tells him, sliding out of the bar chair and walking towards the crowded space. “I’ll catch up with you later.” He responds, before nodding her off and turning back to the bar. The bartender walks towards him, asking if he needs anything else.
“You got anything that’ll help me forget that I’m on a vacation with my ex-girlfriend and that I fucked her last night after getting too drunk here?” Calum asks the bartender, who steps back in shock in response to his question.
“Damn, coming right up..” He trails off. “You okay? How do you even end up in that position?”
The alcohol is filling Calum right up, and right now, he’s fine with spilling his heart out to some random stranger in Japan. He probably won’t ever see this guy again, right?
“And I still love her dude, that’s the problem. Right after we had sex, she pretended like everything was fucking fine and dandy? Don’t girls act like that because they don’t care anymore?” Calum’s been running his mouth ever since she left his side, totally forgetting that she’s somewhere in this club.
“Dude, you might wanna turn around and look at her.” The bartender tells him in response, Calum spinning his chair towards the dance floor, his eyes immediately darting towards Y/N, and some random guy… who she’s borderline grinding on as he holds onto her hips, biting his bottom lip as she dances with him. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Calum storms up from the bar, angrily rushing over to the pair on the dance floor.
“Hey man, wait!” The bartender tries to get him to come back to avoid getting himself into trouble. But the moment Calum’s fist collides with the guy’s cheek, the bartender sighs and throws his face in his hands.
“Calum, what the fuck?!” Y/N exclaims, pushing him out of her way and assisting the random up, rubbing his face, which is now swelled up and forming some purple. Two security guards make their way towards Calum, grabbing onto his arms before dragging him outside of the bar.
Y/N quickly apologizes to the man she was dancing with, before running out of the bar to catch up with Calum, ignoring the hundreds of eyes following her.
As Calum gets thrown onto the sidewalk by the two security guards, Y/N finds him getting up from the sidewalk and rushes towards him. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” She yells, getting in front of him to stop him from walking. “What the hell is wrong with you, Y/N?!?” He responds, lightly shoving her aside to continue walking back to the hotel.
“Calum, stop!” She makes an attempt to talk to him, getting nothing but silence as they enter their hotel room.
“This is supposed to be a trip so we could run away from reality for a little bit. Why are you starting fights with somebody you don’t even know, when he did nothing to you?! That’s not you, Cal. What happened to you?”
Y/N is frustrated. She’s frustrated and upset and Calum’s lack of words are fueling her fire. She had constantly dealt with this throughout the duration of their relationship, and now she has to deal with it as his ex-girlfriend. And she’s so, so tired of it.
“Oh, now you’re gonna stay quiet?!” She can’t help but raise her voice at the man sitting at the edge of their shared bed, head down, clenching his fists. “Calum, I have constantly handled this shit as best as I can the four years we were together. But I can’t take it anymore – you need to start using your fucking voice and talk to me when I ask you to. We have been perfectly fine the past week we’ve been here, but out of nowhere you start to resent me and I’ve done nothing wrong. So tell me Calum, what the fuck have I done? What did I do?”
“What the fuck do I do when the woman I’m still in love with is having the time of her life, dancing and meeting new guys she doesn’t even know, right after we have sex, while I’m doing everything in my power to get her back?! Huh Y/N? Answer that question for me.” Calum angrily spits, looking up at her with dark eyes. “W-what-”
“If you can’t answer that question, let me talk.” He cuts Y/N off. “You asked me to talk to you, now here it is.
I have regretted letting you walk out that door the second you left. I have thought about you every minute of every damn day and it fucking kills me. You know that pink hoodie you left at my place? I keep it next to me on your spot on the bed because now, that’s the closest thing I have to holding you at night. I can’t even take it off the damn bed because Duke can’t fall asleep without it there anymore.
I still fucking love you, Y/N. Haven’t you seen that this whole time? I love you so damn much to the point where I have to go into my camera roll and look at photos of us, and tell the beautiful girl smiling in it that I love her, because the thought of not saying it to you every night drives me insane. I love you so damn much where I can’t even look at another woman because all I can fucking think about is how she’s not you. I love you so much that – you know what Y/N? Part of me didn’t even want to find a way out of this damn trip ‘cause spending time with you means more than anything in this entire fucking world to me. Now you’re here, looking as beautiful as ever and I catch myself missing you when you’re right there, and I don’t know what to do.
So there it is, Y/N. That’s why I didn’t hesitate to beat that guys’ ass at the club. Because I still. Love. You.”
“God, I need a fucking cig.” He says, grabbing the lone pack on the nightstand table, along with his keys. “ Don't wait up. I’ll be back later.”
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