knife in my purse 🔪

| 26 | aust. | boofdoof | main blog |

[iron-crakka]

[technomancyshenanigans]

reblogging this with a video example, because the description doesn't do it justice.

absolutely fucking hysterical get vaporized idiot

[catlezzer-deactivated20200616]

why is this sentence written with such perfect comedic timing

[babelady]

how to become a mother

1) go outside 2) find pigeon 3) grab 4) congratulation

[fullmetal-weaboo-trash]

newton’s second law of motion: f=ma

newton’s third law of motion: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction…equivalent exchange

[liquidstar]

[pepemymail]

The Pokemon regions

[rasmusiscute]

[jeyawue]

“where are you right now?!”

“I’M AT SOUP!”

“which store are you in?!”

“I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!!”

“WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE??!!”

“FUCK YOU!!!”

[drugmoms]

energies

[walkertexashater]

[meanplastic]

THE SCAM OF THE CENTURY

[mightymargaretofanjou]

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

[frankie-steins-leg]

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

[racheldotgov-deactivated2016123]

ppl managing to live where they grew up is really bizarre to me

[hakushokuwaisei-deactivated2017]

Hi! Croatian here. As an inland country, I found a job processing uranium. We have a lot of it.

[mediumsizedboy]

God I wish I was processing uranium in Croatia

[theocseason4]

I think about this post every day

[tardis2101]

Hey, another Croatian here! Croatia has a coastline and I can’t find a single mention of uranium in Croatia. I don’t know what kind of paralel universe this person is from.

[hobgoblinhero]

one croation speaks only the truth, the other croatian speaks only lies, you must ask them one question to determine which is which, and apparently it can’t be about geography or uranium

[wetwareproblem]

The notes on this one are a trip. In one thread, someone trying to Wayback the posters dates the first reply to 2014.

In another, completely unrelated thread, someone else finds a headline from late 2015 about the bust of an illegal uranium refinery with 400 kilos of refined material in Croatia

[milubee]

an anchor always by your side.

[lesbianshepard]

"This is my cat Missy. It's short for Missile Launcher."

[veggiedaddy]

Me: my girlfriend looks so good right now

Friend: *looking around* really? where is she? is she here?

Me: no but i just *clenches fist* know

[mylittlesecretshelter]

@jackmcknightley

[academicssay]

[sludgebat]

i swear to fucking god i had this innate primordial urge today to learn how to make a cloak for myself and i was nearly sweating and shaking with the effort to not immediately bust out of my work and go learn so i could have just a

really

fucking

good

CLOAK

[vaguelyelven]

You’re welcome

[sludgebat]

i would literally die for you and in your hour of greatest need i will protect you

[muppetlesbian]

The intro cards for Futurama have always been one of my favorite parts of the show because people always talk about the old Simpson’s couch gag but this is just pure gold… I mean-

It goes from everything from 

and then they made fun of how much everyone reacted to the the infamous ‘dead dog episode’ that I cried about…

And then one time when the show got canceled…

and then when it came back..

[openthehellmouth]

you’re missing my favorite one though

[civilizationkills]

why do people think humans are the peak of evolution. bears get to eat berries and salmon all the time and sleep half the year. how is that not so much more advanced than working every day until i die!