Harry overhears Y/N giving blowjob advice to a friend
WARNING: This is really gross and explicit donât read if youâre gonna cry about it and be like âew omg who wrote thisâ Bc youâll be blocked đ
Seriously if ur not at least 17 donât read itâs like a trucker wrote this
(This was inspired by an amazing and hilarious podcast Iâve been listening to, which I will be sharing with you all v soon.)
âOkay, do you want me to keep it one hundred with you?â Harry heard Y/N speak from the kitchen. He was in a cheeky mood and therefore decided to eavesdrop. âHelloo?â
âSorry, my phone was on the counter. Iâm here. Of course I want you to keep it one hundred, bitch,â Ellie, Y/Nâs friend spoke.
A phone conversation with her friend, where Harry usually finds out all of the juicy stuff.
Y/N sighed, âIâm sorry, but there is no way a guy is ever going to be okay with just having sex. Head and sex are two completely different feelingsâguys live for blow jobs, trust me.â
Harryâs eyebrows rose in surprise as he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.
âI disagree!â He heard her friend speak.
âOh my gosh, Ellieâare you hearing yourself? Your man is telling you he doesnât want you to give him blow jobs! Because he loves you and likes your sex more? No. You need to work on your technique! If you-â
âYouâre such an asshole,â he heard Ellie laugh.
Y/N tried not to laugh as she spoke, âgirl. If youâre not giving your man head someone else is. I can promise you that. Do you know how many guy friends I have? Never mind that-how many of Harryâs conversations Iâve overheard with his fuckboy friends?â
Harry was slightly offended by that.
âWell, what am I supposed to do? I feel like my blow jobs arenât too bad.â
âSee. That right there. Thatâs how you know theyâre shit,â Y/N spoke, and Harryâs hand covered his mouth to silence his laugh. Sheâs so blunt. âYou have to know theyâre the best. I know for a fact that I give Harry the best head of his life. I donât just feel like maybe I do, I know. I have that man wrapped around my fingerâand sure we love each other and stuff, but girl, getting your man wrapped around your finger in the bedroom is the key to everythingg.â
Harry couldnât deny any of what she was saying.
âWell bitch, give me tips! What do you do when giving head?â
âOkay,â Y/N spoke with a mouthful of whatever she was eating, Harry could hear it. âFirst of all-wait, does he have a small dick?â
Harry was sort of annoyed that she was asking about someone elseâs dick.
âNot really, heâs like medium.â
âLike is it long enough for you to have two hands wrapped around it at once?â Y/N asked.
âYeah,â her friend spoke.
âGirl, this will make him-oh my gosh, you donât even know,â Y/N gushed. âFor guys, 90% of it is a mental thing. They want to feel like their dick is the biggest thing that youâve ever seen. So you need to milk it-literally,â both girls laughed. âTry to pump with both hands. They love that.â
âAnd then, honestly, I donât care what he saysâguys love a sloppy blow job. Harryâs reaction when I give him a regular, clean blowjob versus a sloppy one is ridiculous. He looks like I sucked the life out of him. After he cums his chest is all red and he canât even keep his eyes openââ
âHow do I give sloppy head?! Isnât head just naturally sloppy? I mean you have someoneâs dick in your mouth.â
âI know and sometimes if you arenât really in the mood for it, it can feel gross, but you just have to get down and dirty. Like spit on it, donât be afraid to let it hit your chin on accident-â
âOh my god,â Ellie was laughing on the other line. âIâm crying, bitch.â
Y/N laughed, âitâs true! Do you want me to help you or not?!â
âYes, Iâm sorry, keep going,â Ellie laughed. âI wish I could record you saying all of this.â
Y/N laughed, âoh my gosh, no, if Harry heard me he would think Iâm fucking repulsive-also he doesnât like when I curse so all around bad. Anyway, make sure you choke on it as much as possible. Itâs all about the sounds. They wanna hear you pumping them and spitting and choking-â
âThis sounds so gross,â Ellie said.
âI know but I mean if you love him, letâs be real, itâs kinda not. Like you enjoy it when you actually love the guy. Itâs when heâs a one nighter that youâre about to throw up.â
âA one nighter?â Ellie laughed, âI canât even talk to you right now, everything that leaves your mouth has me in tears.â
Y/N only laughed and Harry heard her slurping whatever she was drinking.
âOkay, all of this sounds good and all, but I am not bold. Iâm gonna be so lost. Do you have specific moves?â
Harry was uncomfortable yet amused as he awaited whatever his foul mouthed girl had to say.
Harry put his face in his hands as he laughed before shaking his head. Of course she does.
âOkay,â she began. âObviously-oh, they love when you pay their balls some attention. That drives them insaneâtheyâre like the man clit.â
Harry was trying not to laugh too loud, âoh my god,â he whispered to himself as he covered his mouth. What the hell is she on about?! Harry started to consider the possibility that maybe sheâs high.
âThereâs also this one thing, okay, after you spit on it, pump him, right? And smile up at himâor you can just like bite your lip and look super innocent, and say, âdo you like that, Aiden?ââI swear to you, itâs gonna work.â
Hearing her ask the question that sheâs asked Harry multiple times, with another manâs name attached to it, made him feel...possessive and like he had to go tell her not to do that ever again.
âI have never spit on it before,â Ellie spoke.
âGirl, thatâs why he doesnât want you to give him head! What the hell are you doing going around giving dry hand jobs?â Y/N laughed. âSpit on it. And the name part is super important. It gets to them.â
âIâm gonna try,â Ellie sighed. âIâll let you know how it goes.â
âYes, let me know. My baby should be home soon, Iâm gonna call him. Bye, babes!â
âBye, Y/N, love youuu,â Ellie called.
âI love you too,â Y/N said before hanging up. Harry heard the sink water running a moment later. Then it turned off. Then he heard her footsteps, and when she appeared in the door way she had her phone in her hand. She pressed the phone to her ear and looked as she walked through the doorway, screaming and dropping her phone at Harryâs presence. Her back slammed into the wall as she gasped.
âJeez!â Harry laughed. âI look that scary?â
âOh my gosh,â Y/N whispered, closing her eyes as she caught her breath. âYou scared the fuck out of me, Harry!â She screamed, walking up to him and slapping his arm. âYou nearly gave me a heart attack!â
âSorry,â Harry laughed. âYou have horrible hearing. What if I was an intruder? Iâve been home for quite some time now, love,â he shook his head, and didnât miss the look of freight that crossed her face for a second.
âLike how long?â She asked.
âDunno,â he shrugged, looking at the clock behind Y/N. âLong enough to hear you tell Ellie how my chest gets red and I canât keep my eyes open after you make me come, yâloud mouth,â he bit his lip before laughing and pinching her arm.
âOuch,â he rubbed the spot above her elbow where heâd pinched. âIâm sorry, baby, but it was imperative! She doesnât know how to give blow jobs,â Y/N spoke, becoming flustered. âI didnât know you were here, thatâs so embarrassing-â
Harry laughed, âyeah, and you were right. Harry thinks youâre fucking repulsive.â
She laughed and punched his arm. âFuck off.â
âThe good kind of repulsive, of course. The kind where you spit on my dick and give me sloppy toppy-â
âYou did not just say the words sloppy toppy, Harry Edward Styles, I am cringing and weâre breaking up-â
âUhm, you said man clit and if I have to deal with that then can deal with me saying sloppy toppy,â Harry interjected.
âFine,â Y/N gave in easily.
âIâm mad that you have all of these fucking moves, you know just how to get me, huh?â
âGot me wrapped around your finger and you know it,â he smirked, arms around her waist now.
âWe both know it, baby,â she kissed his lips gently, pulling away only to lean back in and slowly lick into his mouth, kissing him for a few seconds before tugging his bottom lip into her mouth. She bit it hard before letting it snap back, and Harryâs eyes were closed and he was leaning in for more but Y/N had already opened her eyes and stepped away. âSee?â
His eyes slowly opened. âFuck you.â
âI love you too, baby,â she smiled.
And she turned around and began to walk away, to Harryâs surprise. Therefore, he reached for her hand and pulled her back.
âAh, ah, ah, you have to give me a blow job now.â
âAiden is about to be getting the best head heâs ever gotten, thanks to my girl. Meanwhile, Iâm sitting here with the headmaster of sucking dick and not getting anything?â
Y/N rolled her eyes. âFine. But upstairs so I can get my little floor pillow.â
âOo, âs gonna be a long one?â Harry grinned as he followed her upstairs like a puppy.
âThatâs all up to how long you can last, Harold.â
Kinda wanna make a part two lmk if you think I should