Alex | Kitshire

Kitshire's Personal Blog | She/They/He

[kitshireblog]

BYF

I don’t really add tags to posts on any of my blogs so beware of content that may be triggering to you.

Not spoiler friendly for anything I’m interested in.

[dogpuppy]

[salty-spy]

[strawberryzn]

we need non cancerous cigarettes to give to women so they look hot. men get the normal kind

[honeyciub]

Max is just built different.

[itemdroplet]

[operating-system]

Doodle dump for the last day of pride #yay

[operating-system]

im back in the fucking building again

[queenaegon]

is that song actually character-coded or is your brain a character-shaped hammer looking for lyrics to nail down somewhere

[verittean]

[spmatss]

hey u ever drawn screwball jones?

A party For You

[lilisabeille]

Sage!

I just wanted to animate the hair in the beginning, but I kept adding details haha

[rorichuu]

SAM with that trending photo on Tiktok after Max lost his brain 🚬

REFERENCE BELOW CUT

rorichuu!

[scribefindegil]

I was in a long-term relationship that fell apart partially because I was ace and my partner was very much not, and every time we looked for relationship help we got told that I was the problem. Not just that a significant mismatch in sexual desire could be a problem in a relationship, but that it was My Fault, Specifically, for not being willing to suck it up and have a bunch of sex I didn't want. To my ex's credit, he cared about consent much more than any of the professionals we talked to and refused to pressure me even when my (lesbian, billed as progressive and pro-LGBT) therapist was actively telling him to.

But it meant that we had absolutely no help or support when we were trying to work on the relationship in ways that *did* value my autonomy. There's basically no advice for people who want to try to make a relationship where there's a big desire gap work that isn't "well you should just have sex anyway" or "just break up lol". And that sucks!

Sometimes breaking up is necessary, and that's what ended up happening with us because there were other reasons we worked better as friends, but there *should* be better frameworks for discussing what people want and need that don't automatically assume that one partner's feelings are automatically more important or valuable than the other's.

[geese-in-flight]

I was dating someone who wanted to be accommodating and work with me to figure things out but lacked the EQ to do so in any effective way. It was my first relationship and I was still figuring out what being ace meant for me. It’s been eight or nine years, but I still remember very clearly the moment I realized we’d been approaching the entire discussion as if my orientation was the problem to be solved, and that it would be equally as valid to say that hers was.

She was significantly less impressed with this revelation than I was, but I tried to hold on to it ever since (although obviously the real problem wasn’t either one of us, but the mismatch and the lack of tools to deal with it). I think it’s super important to remember that we aren’t the ones in the wrong while our theoretical partners are the ones in the right. I was surprised by how much I’d internalized the assumption and I don’t think I’m the only one.

[ineffectualdemon]

The other frustrating aspect of this is allo relationships will often have periods of time where libido does not match (I'm not derailing and this will swing back to asexual people)

Just after giving birth, during a family crisis, during a mental health episode, during health problems, during stressful periods at work

There are a lot of times when one person is horned up and raring to go and the other has no interest

And the solution often presented is that the person who is going through something should just put out because they are the problem instead of like...finding ways to engage in non sexual intimacy to reaffirm closeness

An asexual person is going to get 10x the amount of pressure and blame put on them and no advice on how non-sexual intimacy can help their relationships and if they get that at all it will only be to sell it as a bridge to sex they don't want.

I really hate the selling of intimacy as only equaling or facilitating sex. Intimacy comes in many forms and should be explored more by every couple as a non sexual act. And it the given importance it deserves. In fact I would argue if we as a society put more value on non sexual intimacy more relationships would be happier and healthier

And asexual people would stop getting shit for being themselves.

[the-haiku-bot]

And asexual

people would stop getting shit

for being themselves.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[honeyciub]

I love dressing them up like dolls, they are so silly.

[mar64ds]

i love when animation fans mention their all favorite animated shows cause it's always like 3 cartoons that are generally considered by practically everyone to be very good, some of the best of all time, etc and then there is the obscure C tier show that they just really like

[mar64ds]

[stahsm]

Overlock Stitch by @clothes_reetzy

[thatisuseful]

Damn, that's useful

[fluidstatick]

Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn't just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it's not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won't pucker or warp the fabric!

[itssosunnyout]

i lowk hate rhis but its okay

ah, eto…bleh!