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@kitti-lee
A brief PSA for my blog 💕
I go by kittileecreates on other socials (formerly @ hayleeblobfish, some of my art still has my old username on it)
I have a YouTube channel and Instagram where I post cosplay and other fun artsy stuff if anyone’s interested
I try to tag everything by fandom or character, and all my art is tagged as #kitti’s art
Have fun!
"No one wants to work anymore." Damn right brother. If I could sit in a beautiful field for 40 hours every week of my singular precious life I would
From what I understand, the fucking asexual flag drama goes as follows:
Aceingrace: I made the NEW IMPROVED ASEXUAL FLAG! It’s official! I’m the creator of the new asexual flag! I’ve decided for the whole community that this is their flag now!
Asexuals: We don’t like it.
We didn’t ask for this.
You can’t declare it the new official flag because you have no authority within the asexual community. We as individuals decide what flags we use to represent ourselves, not you.
There’s nothing wrong with the one we have.
You didn’t care enough to ask for the opinions of anyone outside of America.
Non Anglophones don’t like it.
It’s not inclusive to loveless and non partnering aces.
It looks too similar to the nonbinary flag.
It looks too similar to the MAP flag, and we don’t want people to think that we’re associated with them because we don’t want people to think that we’re child molesters.
Aceingrace: WAAAAAAH! YOU’RE RACIST! LOOK AT HOW MUCH RACIAL ABUSE I’M SUFFERING! I’M THE VICTIM!
Look, I'm sorry, but no, you don't just get to create a new pride flag (especially replacing an existing and established one) and go "this is our new flag!" and expect that to fly.
I'm totally happy if you want to play around with creating flags and sharing them.
But you don't get to just randomly, suddenly, and without any fucking input, foist that flag on everyone or tout it about like it represents the community when no one even knew about it.
Share it with me and say you'd love for people to use it if they like it? GREAT!!! Love that!
Work behind the scenes to create a flag, introduce it as the new flag for the community, with no input or interaction from the community??? Just what the fuck. If you want to replace the flag, then you have to do A LOT of work organizing to spread visibility and talk with people. You give people besides you the chance to have input. You let the community decide if the overhaul is worth or it not, and if they think it is, then you let multiple people share their designs and have the community decide.
You don't just rush in and erase our existing flag because you have personal issues with it. That flag has history now. It's on and in published books about our community. We're not a blossoming community who has no flag or history. We are a small but established community who has been using this flag for the past two decades at least.
If you want to replace it completely? You gotta involve the community. It's our flag, not yours. If you don't involve us, it clearly has nothing at all to do with feeling represented. It has to do with you wanting to feel special getting to see your creation everywhere.
And yeah, when you stomp in and act like you can just represent us all without asking any of us, that's gonna upset people.
This Pride Month, I am begging queer orgs to branch out from hosting events at bars and breweries. Some of us are sober, neurodivergent, and COVID conscious and it makes it so goddamn hard to find community when everything revolves around consuming alcohol in crowded indoor spaces.
Thinking about the whole "there is no platonic explanation for this" thing and how it doesn't account for intense platonic situationships and anyways I think we should start saying "there is no casual explanation for this" bc really what we're talking about is the way the characters in question are Obsessed with each other
This could have easily been an episode plot tbh
I feel like pirating media that isn’t sold or offered anywhere legally anymore shouldn’t be called piracy. Girl thats archaeology
RADIOAPPLE MUGS REAL?!?!
adolescence / revolution
stickersheet for utena stamp rally at fanime! it'll also have a sand glitter effect...
Need to remind myself that there are still good people trying to balance out the bad in the world. There are still people who care even when the news are always full of stories of terrible things happening. It’s hard not to feel powerless but I still believe there are things one can do to help even if it’s on a smaller scale. We all mess up, but all is not lost.
'oh damn! i wonder why i suddenly have 50+ activity!"
the suspiciously 50+ activity shaped mutual:
the rise of conservatism and gen z puritanism while still simultaneously trying to be hip and woke is so annoying because you have these people saying "match my freak" and then they get mad at ageplay and petplay and cnc and somno and anything raunchier than a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. you're not a "freak" if you think having a fetish is synonymous with being evil
show-runners do not owe audiences the ending that they wanted or even the one people with media literacy anticipated. unless it’s supernatural in which case the show-runners still owe their audiences $100 million each in emotional damages
I already think Charlie Morningstar’s behavior is that of a new adult catching up on development because she was sheltered as a kid, but her playbill bio also makes me think similarly.
I’ve attended a number of shows to be familiar with playbill bios, but just in case I also read three different sites on how to write one’s playbill bio:
https://www.meronlangsner.com/blog-taking-note-and-taking-notes/how-to-write-a-bio-for-a-playbill
https://www.backstage.com/magazine/article/how-to-write-a-playbill-bio-78346/
https://www.cityheadshots.com/blog/bio-for-actors
tldr:
short
tell people about relevant (recent and/or significant) experience in theatre
biggest+most important info first
credits and awards
do NOT mention background or extra work
a little info about your personality
This means that relevant training and education is generally only in the bio of someone younger/who has been in the career for an amount of time that hasn’t built a long enough theatre resume to fill up the bio with notable roles.
Some real life playbill bios, where I highlight mentions of education, and the ages of those highlighted:
Charlie Morningstar and Angel Dust’s bios are the ones that look like a bio that you would actually find in a real life performance playbill. Charlie’s mentions that she won “numerous theater awards throughout college”, while Angel’s lists his credits and awards:
Look at Erika Henningsen’s bio in the same playbill, who has spent enough time in the field to have credits (some of which have awards attached to the stories being performed), and Blake Roman’s profile, who has his known roles more recently and therefore his education is mentioned:
In conclusion: I consider Charlie Morningstar’s playbill bio mention of education to mean her college attendance is recent enough to be considered relevant enough to mention, and therefore - when also considering her other behavior of someone catching up on development - Charlie is younger than 30.
Thank you to this post for images of the playbill to review, click here to see it!
[Click here to see this post in thread form on Bluesky.]
So umm we need to talk about the “new” ace flag and its creator. I’ve never had a more utterly bizarre and rude interaction in this community.
A later addition:
I don’t want drama. I don’t know this creator personally. But this is unacceptable behavior towards the community I am a part of it and it needs to be called out. Absolutely do not attack or harass anyone over this. I just need it to be out there so people are aware.
If there’s one thing people can take away from this, it’s this. Support your fellow aces. Uplift the people who aren’t being heard and actually listen to each other. That’s all I wanted to do in the first place. That’s how the community should work.
Here’s some articles to read that have been translated for English-speaking audiences:
Reddit - Please wait for verification
Reddit - Please wait for verification
So, the main problem with this soliloquy is (as usual), the centering of white asexual feelings, and because she's deleted what she feels are insulting comments that we'll never see, so can't be proven, here's the thing:
"I'm a white American, and I'm well aware it is not my place to make calls on representation."
This should have been her internal thought before she went to typing up how she was victimized and "disgusted" by a creator who had been forced to protect herself from the very people who claim to be her community.
White people in general have GOT to stop measuring the importance of what Black people are saying by the way in which we say it, and you certainly DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT to police how we choose to protect ourselves from YOU.
She got especially upset at Ashabi saying people who don't read critically don't matter in this and responded by saying, "Because I don't read, I don't matter? I have a Bachelor's Degree!" No, girl, she said you don't read CRITICALLY, and by your response, you proved her point.
She also claimed partners of asexuals were excluded, and GOOD! This argument has been going on for 16 years now, but in case many of us haven't been clear enough: 🗣 ALLOSEXUALS DO NOT QUALIFY AS PART OF THE COMMUNITY just because you're in relationship with one of us. This applies to literally everything. I know this is especially hard for white people who like to be included in everything, but guess what? Just as you shouldn't center yourself in any POC discussion just because you want to support, allosexuals also do not get to do the same.
The loveless community one, even I'm still researching and asking questions, but she also claimed many international organizations were excluded from this, and actually, no, only a handful of Spanish-speaking Asexual organizations felt the need to speak out against Ashabi, even though they were also excluded from the discussion of the 2010 flag (see my last post), and white/white-adjacent internationals need to understand the gravity of what they did in centering themselves as well, because just as AVEN doesn't speak for all aces, the same goes for those organizations. No hablan por todo los asexuales internacionales.
To sum this all up, yes, your response was reactionary. Yes, Ashabi had the right to block you. She had a right to protect her peace. You are not the victim in this situation, and your disgust is exaggerated by your feelings, which you failed to check before responding.
Furthermore, if your opinion on the HATE (AND RACISM) Ashabi is receiving changed because you didn't like how she responded to your actions, you are NOT the best person to share any opinion on this.
Do better.
Hi, appreciate you taking the time to make a comment about specific points you disagree with. Fair and valid. I’m more than willing to listen and learn from other people’s opinions.
However, I think you’re misconstruing my intentions and certain points I brought up in my post, and I would like to clarify them and would really appreciate if anyone who reads this post takes the time to read the entire thing, I know it’s long but I need to clarify because you’re saying some things that are word-for-word NOT what I said.
Before that though, I do want to sincerely apologize if what I said came off as centering white ace feelings. You’re right, that is the perspective I come from. I am a writer and what I can offer to the ace community as a whole is discussions and summaries from different perspectives, it is important to note that all of criticisms I discuss also have been echoed by various commenters, posts, and organizations made by non-white people. I very specifically looked at a variety of statements to come to the conclusions I did and paraphrase them in my original instagram comment. Those are NOT my personal opinions, but those reflected by others. I’ll go into this further in another point. Anyway, this doesn’t excuse my post coming off in that manner, and I sincerely apologize for causing any offense on that topic.
I want to address this specifically that I said:
This wasn’t fair and was too personal. I am sorry to the ace community and to Ashabi herself. I was upset by the behavior, not any of the people directly. That was a reactionary statement, and I take full responsibility for that.
That aside, let’s go through the rest:
First off, I genuinely want to know what about my comment was insulting. I quoted the very comments she posted to her instagram story. I asked people on a different platform if they came across as offensive. I didn’t get a single comment saying that they were. She conveniently left out that my comments were in response to another commenter, NOT in response what she said directly, and also, were NOT my personal opinions or the opinions that everyone shared, as I literally said in the comment that she decided to post. I was having a conversation with two other commenters about the meaning of the word “universal”. I would love to show them, but they got deleted. Here is the comment I made that was archived (ignore the O, that is a typo):
Now let’s talk about this point.
You are taking this statement entirely of our context. I said two sentences later “My ENTIRE life revolves around literature, research, nuance, and critical thinking. You chose the wrong person to throw that accusation at because I know it's factually untrue.” I brought it up as an example, not as a “gotcha”. I brought it that entire paragraph because I’m not just pulling statements out of my ass. I’ve done the research. I’ve taken the time to analyze and put it together. I brought it up because of the insinuation that people outside her community, which she herself said, don’t read. I know she was talking about critical thinking. But that’s still an insulting and huge generalization to make.
Next point:
I didn’t say this. My original comment mentioned it as a discussion other people were having. Also, the inclusion of the white stripe in this specific discussion is because of the response from the Nepali Aspec community. One thing they highlight is that allies are NECESSARY for their survival. ONCE AGAIN, IT IS NOT WHITE PEOPLE SAYING THIS.
Here’s the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/s/wSvlvZLB2O
I don’t agree with everything on the ace reddit, but they’ve done a great job archiving, translating, and putting these in a place that is easy to access.
Next:
I’m having some confusion here over what was the purpose of making a new flag in the first place then. My understanding was that the flag was made BECAUSE people were excluded ten years ago. It was to fix that issue, but then ended up doing to the same thing. And it doesn’t seem fair (in my personal opinion, I’m willing to see what other people think about this) to say this was a community-voted flag when portions of the community had no say. I understand that her original was suppressed. I think AVEN massively fucked up, and I have said that in other posts.
What I don’t understand is now that it is getting more attention and feedback from a larger audience, why is none of that is being taken into account? Why are comments that even mention criticism, even if not being directed at her but just for providing context to other commenters, being deleted?
This is from her substack:
It doesn’t make a lot of sense to emphasize multiculturalism and intersectionality in the flag’s very design while also not considering making any changes or even addressing concerns from other cultures directly. I know she’s done some “clearing the air” type videos, but this seems hypocritical. Once again, this is definitely leaning more into my opinion, and I’m more than willing to hear what other people have to say about it and adjust it if there’s something I’m missing.
Also about that point: “a handful of Spanish-speaking organizations” is factually incorrect.
Here is the list of organizations that co-signed the first major statement made. These countries are not primarily made up of white or white-adjacent people. These are Latino people or mixed-race people.
And their main issue wasn’t about race, it was specifically about centering USA perspectives in what was presented as a worldwide discussion.
The second statement was made by Carrodibuoi Asexual Collective essentially agreeing with the first one.
The third was made by the Nepali Aspec community and is presented as two in-depth videos on their culture and history of the ace community in their country.
The fourth was made by Black Ace Culture, a group for Black asexuals in response to the other statements being made. Their specific post is more recent and before I made my original post, but echoes the same sentiments that were shared by others online and that I referred to in my original comment, just in a more organized statement. It makes a point to discuss both the pros and cons from their perspective.
I know there were some others made but these are the main ones I’ve seen brought up. My research was not only from these groups, but also various ace-focused instagram account, reddit pages, and tumblr blogs.
Finally:
I DIDNT SAY THIS. My opinion changed because of the research I did and how other people were reacting, and this was just the last straw in terms of making a full post about it NOT about my opinion as a whole. I will post again what I said originally:
I will say that I shouldn’t have put that “however” in there, as I see how it can come off as dismissive. I stand by these as separate and unrelated points, I shouldn’t have to put them together like that because it makes the first part sound like it’s less important. That’s my bad.
I criticized the people being hateful and AVEN specifically in a vent post I made a few weeks ago. It less fact-based as it is a vent about the situation as a whole, but those opinions specifically I still hold.
This was why I made a post in the first place:
I have the right to respond if called out by name. I wouldn’t have made this post otherwise. I am a part of the ace community. I’m not going to apologize or stand down for speaking up for other parts of my community. Multiple criticisms can exist at the same time. Its fair to point out Ashabi can be facing absolutely gross and unwarranted hate while at the same time is being rightfully critiqued for shutting down conversations about the centralization of American and English-speaking aces.
Those can co-exist and be discussed at the same time.
Thanks if you took the time to read all this. If I may be selfish and talk about myself for a moment, I truly am trying to learn more about the community and perspectives and as I said earlier, I want to help this community by raising up voices that are not getting attention. When asking poc I know about how to approach situations like these, the overwhelming opinion I’ve received is to highlight their voices and share their opinions. Just because I paraphrase things doesn’t mean i am trying to speak over them. That’s why I include links. Tumblr is not my main platform but I try to directly share other people’s posts more on Instagram and bluesky. I’m not asking for praise or anything for doing the bare minimum. But I’m not gonna sit back and have my words twisted or taken out of context to make me sound like someone I’m not.
going through other peoples tags on your own posts is so funny because some of the tagging systems are so specific and meticulous like #funny, #text with picture, #character study, #s1e4 at 23:42 and others are like #things that made me shit my pants lol
